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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,455 --> 00:00:08,767 - Michael? 2 00:00:08,767 --> 00:00:09,630 - Yeah. 3 00:00:11,218 --> 00:00:13,151 - So, what can I do for you today? 4 00:00:13,151 --> 00:00:16,775 - Well, this is a little bit embarrassing, but 5 00:00:17,672 --> 00:00:18,570 oh, sorry. 6 00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:21,849 SexNow 7 00:00:21,849 --> 00:00:23,644 - Come again? 8 00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:24,507 - SexNow! 9 00:00:27,475 --> 00:00:30,099 - Recently we've been fighting this new dating app: 10 00:00:30,099 --> 00:00:31,583 SexNow 11 00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:33,274 SexNow hooks you up with a match within 12 00:00:33,274 --> 00:00:35,173 a one kilometer radius 13 00:00:35,173 --> 00:00:39,694 and gives you 10 minutes to find them and have sex. 14 00:00:39,694 --> 00:00:41,248 Funnily enough, 15 00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:42,870 people blindly rushing to have sex 16 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:45,735 don't always think to use protection. 17 00:00:45,735 --> 00:00:47,392 So yeah, 18 00:00:47,392 --> 00:00:49,773 we're in the midst of an STI epidemic. 19 00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:59,197 [intro music] 20 00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:18,940 - Yes, we are concerned about 21 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,253 the rapid rise of STIs across the state. 22 00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:23,359 However, we are doing everything we can 23 00:01:23,359 --> 00:01:25,706 to put an end to this problem. 24 00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:31,746 - What's this? 25 00:01:31,746 --> 00:01:34,439 - Ideas for fighting the epidemic. 26 00:01:35,543 --> 00:01:37,407 - Langdon, these are insane. 27 00:01:37,407 --> 00:01:38,581 - Sure, 28 00:01:38,581 --> 00:01:39,996 some are a little left field, 29 00:01:39,996 --> 00:01:42,757 but that's what we need to beat SexNow. 30 00:01:42,757 --> 00:01:43,586 - Fine. 31 00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:46,865 Request a med student, 32 00:01:48,349 --> 00:01:50,006 from Harvard. 33 00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:53,009 that's maybe aiming a bit high, 34 00:01:53,009 --> 00:01:56,495 but an extra set of hands couldn't hurt. 35 00:01:56,495 --> 00:01:57,531 - Yes! 36 00:01:57,531 --> 00:01:58,911 You won't regret this. 37 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:02,398 - All right, but you're looking after it. 38 00:02:07,644 --> 00:02:09,819 - Magazines all up to date. 39 00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:13,478 Had to throw out the old ones when we moved clinics, 40 00:02:13,478 --> 00:02:16,964 something about asbestos in the walls. 41 00:02:16,964 --> 00:02:19,863 And this is one of my initiatives, 42 00:02:19,863 --> 00:02:22,935 the Children's Discovery Wonderland. 43 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,316 Patent pending. 44 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:30,529 And of course our friendly receptionist, Gwen. 45 00:02:30,529 --> 00:02:31,737 - Sorry Leonie. 46 00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,808 Just some obnoxious nobodies. 47 00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,983 So where's pre-drinks? 48 00:02:35,983 --> 00:02:37,157 - Stephy! 49 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,779 I'd like to introduce you 50 00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:41,437 to our new medical student Yasmin Dagher. 51 00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:43,439 - G'day, welcome to Metro Sexual. 52 00:02:43,439 --> 00:02:45,026 - Thanks. Yeah, I don't know about you two, 53 00:02:45,026 --> 00:02:47,822 but I'm so excited to be here. 54 00:02:47,822 --> 00:02:49,652 I'm not really that excited. 55 00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:51,447 I'm not even really interested in sexual health. 56 00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:55,485 I really wanted to do my placement at like, a hospital. 57 00:02:55,485 --> 00:02:58,868 Or just somewhere with real doctors. 58 00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,766 Sorry... That was rude. 59 00:03:00,766 --> 00:03:02,078 Not real doctors. 60 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,633 What's the word? 61 00:03:06,565 --> 00:03:07,187 Proper. 62 00:03:08,671 --> 00:03:09,879 Proper doctors. 63 00:03:11,501 --> 00:03:12,675 - That enthusiasm! 64 00:03:12,675 --> 00:03:14,055 Love it! 65 00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,919 Well then hombre, 66 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:19,854 let's go uncover the wonders of the staff room. 67 00:03:19,854 --> 00:03:21,787 - Sorry I'm late. 68 00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:24,134 Daddy's driver did not have a clue where he was going. 69 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:25,929 Can you spell 'fired'? 70 00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,000 - Sorry. 71 00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:30,762 You are? 72 00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:31,970 - Herman. 73 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,834 Here for my placement. 74 00:03:36,595 --> 00:03:38,632 - So I might've applied to more 75 00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:40,530 than one university for an intern. 76 00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:41,842 Big deal. 77 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:44,154 It's like birthday invitations. 78 00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:46,260 You don't expect all your friends to come. 79 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,159 Sometimes none of them do. 80 00:03:49,159 --> 00:03:50,782 Sometimes you spend your birthday 81 00:03:50,782 --> 00:03:53,647 playing laser tag by yourself. 82 00:03:53,647 --> 00:03:54,682 Sometimes... 83 00:03:58,962 --> 00:04:00,861 it seems there was an admin error, 84 00:04:00,861 --> 00:04:02,034 somewhere down the line. 85 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,864 Hard to pin down exactly where, 86 00:04:03,864 --> 00:04:06,660 but we've decided to trial you both 87 00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,869 and see who's the best fit. 88 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:11,941 - And what happens to the loser? 89 00:04:11,941 --> 00:04:13,667 - I guess your university 90 00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,876 will just have to arrange a new placement. 91 00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:18,154 - This late into semester? 92 00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:20,674 You've got to be kidding me. 93 00:04:20,674 --> 00:04:22,917 - Worked out well, hasn't it? 94 00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:24,022 Good on ya. 95 00:04:24,022 --> 00:04:25,920 - [Langdon] Thank you. 96 00:04:41,177 --> 00:04:44,870 - This is where we keep our spare swab kits. 97 00:04:47,148 --> 00:04:49,047 Sorry. 98 00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:52,740 Do you reckon you could maybe just try to pay attention? 99 00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,122 - Spare gloves, 100 00:04:55,122 --> 00:04:56,226 got it. 101 00:04:56,226 --> 00:04:58,401 Sorry. It's just this new app, 102 00:04:58,401 --> 00:04:59,782 SexNow! 103 00:04:59,782 --> 00:05:01,024 Heard of it? 104 00:05:01,024 --> 00:05:03,026 You can basically get sex, like, 105 00:05:03,026 --> 00:05:04,856 what's the word? 106 00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:05,822 Right away. 107 00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:07,686 - Hey.... Hey! 108 00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,275 - Oh, alright Cuz? Back again? 109 00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,760 - Alright Stephy. You know how it is. 110 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,485 - Yes! 111 00:05:13,485 --> 00:05:14,314 I'm in. 112 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,763 Must dash! 113 00:05:15,763 --> 00:05:16,419 SexNow! 114 00:05:18,179 --> 00:05:19,836 - Who's the fancy pants? 115 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,045 - Possibly our new medical student. 116 00:05:22,045 --> 00:05:23,461 I'd better go after him 117 00:05:23,461 --> 00:05:26,774 before he becomes just another statistic. 118 00:05:29,881 --> 00:05:30,778 - So yeah. 119 00:05:32,090 --> 00:05:34,334 Always going off around here, isn't it? 120 00:05:35,749 --> 00:05:36,439 - Yeah. 121 00:05:36,439 --> 00:05:38,130 I guess. 122 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,029 Here for another appointment? 123 00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:41,375 - Yeah. Afraid so. 124 00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:44,930 Do I have to fill out any forms or? 125 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:47,933 - Not unless your details have changed. 126 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:49,314 - Oh yeah. 127 00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:51,040 Well I think I probably moved house, 128 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:51,903 again. 129 00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:53,767 - Great. 130 00:05:59,151 --> 00:05:59,980 - You're really pretty. 131 00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:00,912 - What? 132 00:06:02,085 --> 00:06:03,259 - I was saying 133 00:06:05,054 --> 00:06:06,469 that you're 134 00:06:06,469 --> 00:06:07,332 pretty good 135 00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:08,195 at 136 00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:10,024 finding forms. 137 00:06:10,024 --> 00:06:12,233 Must be a million in there or something. 138 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:13,131 - You reckon? 139 00:06:13,131 --> 00:06:14,270 - Yeah. 140 00:06:14,270 --> 00:06:16,962 There's a million in there. 141 00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:17,963 By my maths. 142 00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:20,241 Gwen? 143 00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:21,622 Yeah, she's all right, you know 144 00:06:21,622 --> 00:06:23,037 she's fine for, you know, 145 00:06:23,037 --> 00:06:24,487 for a bird. 146 00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:26,316 I don't know, pretty pretty chill I guess. 147 00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:27,973 You know, nice smile and stuff, 148 00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:30,631 but I barely think about her to be honest. 149 00:06:30,631 --> 00:06:32,253 Sorry, what was the question? 150 00:06:32,253 --> 00:06:34,290 Oh yeah. I'm sorry. 151 00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:37,086 Testing one, two, three, testing. 152 00:06:39,882 --> 00:06:43,644 - So Greg, you've been in 12 times this month. 153 00:06:43,644 --> 00:06:46,336 It's fantastic you're keeping tabs on your health, 154 00:06:46,336 --> 00:06:49,409 but you do know what a condom does, right? 155 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,341 - I use frangers mate. 156 00:06:51,341 --> 00:06:53,240 This time I really caught something. 157 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,621 Well, it's not like I'm coming down here 158 00:06:54,621 --> 00:06:57,278 with some ulterior motive. Is it? 159 00:06:57,278 --> 00:06:58,176 Come on. 160 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,282 - Okay. 161 00:07:01,282 --> 00:07:03,526 Well let's take a look then. 162 00:07:05,355 --> 00:07:08,117 Why thank you, Almost-Dr-Dagher. 163 00:07:10,706 --> 00:07:12,259 - Yes, 164 00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:13,122 my God. 165 00:07:13,122 --> 00:07:14,261 Yeah. 166 00:07:14,261 --> 00:07:16,366 Revs was heaving last weekend. 167 00:07:16,366 --> 00:07:17,229 Oh my God. 168 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,092 Yes. 169 00:07:19,991 --> 00:07:20,992 Sorry Leonie, 170 00:07:20,992 --> 00:07:21,993 I've got to go. 171 00:07:21,993 --> 00:07:23,477 Some old hag is here. 172 00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:26,687 New patient? 173 00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:30,070 - Unsure yet, 174 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,521 the staff here are making me consider my options. 175 00:07:32,521 --> 00:07:34,419 - Wait, what did you say? 176 00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:37,974 - The staff here are making me consider my options. 177 00:07:37,974 --> 00:07:38,975 - Oh my God. 178 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:43,359 You're Mystic Marlene, from Triple R? 179 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:47,052 Okay. Do me! Do me! Please read my future. 180 00:07:52,402 --> 00:07:57,028 [mystical humming] 181 00:07:57,028 --> 00:07:57,684 BOP! 182 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:06,382 - Oh, it's tragic. 183 00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:08,764 The spirits are telling me that this reception desk 184 00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:11,283 will be your final resting place. 185 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,353 - What? 186 00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:14,494 - I'm sorry dear. 187 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:18,567 The spirit world has a tendency to be quite rude. 188 00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:26,506 - You see these raised lumps at the base of the scrotum? 189 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,784 - Nah mate, can't see a thing. 190 00:08:28,784 --> 00:08:30,613 - Sorry, Greg. 191 00:08:30,613 --> 00:08:32,615 If I wasn't clear last time; I'm talking to Yasmin. 192 00:08:32,615 --> 00:08:33,685 - Oh yeah. That makes sense. 193 00:08:33,685 --> 00:08:35,342 Yeah. 194 00:08:35,342 --> 00:08:37,344 - Now those could be Molluscum Contagiosum, 195 00:08:37,344 --> 00:08:38,794 which is caused by... 196 00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:40,658 A viral skin infection 197 00:08:40,658 --> 00:08:42,798 causing localised clusters of epidermal papules? 198 00:08:42,798 --> 00:08:43,626 - Correct. 199 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:48,389 - But those look more like HPV warts to me. 200 00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:51,151 See? Too firm to be Mollusca. 201 00:08:51,151 --> 00:08:53,394 And no central umbilication. 202 00:08:55,258 --> 00:08:58,434 - Oh Doc...She's giving you a run for your money, isn't she? 203 00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:00,505 And she's only a student. 204 00:09:01,782 --> 00:09:02,956 - I'm probably wrong. 205 00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:04,613 I'm sure Dr. Marsh knows best. 206 00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:06,269 - Na, na, na, na, I reckon you're right. 207 00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:09,307 Chick I was with last night said she had HPV. 208 00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,620 So I reckon spot on. Good one. 209 00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:16,486 - Okay. Marlene, just before we get started today, 210 00:09:16,486 --> 00:09:19,835 just have to let you know that this is Herman and he's a- 211 00:09:19,835 --> 00:09:22,389 - Don't tell me, he's a medical student 212 00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:25,461 and he's going to be observing today. 213 00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:26,462 I'm a Psychic. 214 00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:27,463 - Oh, super. 215 00:09:29,016 --> 00:09:31,294 - This man is going to make a good doctor one day. 216 00:09:31,294 --> 00:09:33,849 He's going to be very rich. 217 00:09:33,849 --> 00:09:35,436 - She's right. 218 00:09:35,436 --> 00:09:37,335 My dad's literally a millionaire. 219 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:38,474 - Hang on. 220 00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:40,545 The spirits are telling me 221 00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:43,444 you're very good at making people happy. 222 00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:45,585 - By giving them my dad's money... 223 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,448 How does she know all this!? 224 00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:49,312 Here, have some money. 225 00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:52,315 - It's a mystery. 226 00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:56,009 Okay. So just tell us why you're here today. 227 00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:59,529 - Oh, I've developed a little discomfort. 228 00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:04,293 Following an encounter with a tall dark stranger. 229 00:10:04,293 --> 00:10:05,397 - Oh. 230 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,331 You didn't see that one coming? 231 00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:09,332 - So Matias, 232 00:10:09,332 --> 00:10:11,058 I do have some bad news. 233 00:10:11,058 --> 00:10:14,061 It looks like you might have a touch of Gonorrhea, 234 00:10:14,061 --> 00:10:17,444 but we'll get you an injection of of Ceftriaxone, 235 00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:20,585 put you on a course for one gram of Azithromycin 236 00:10:20,585 --> 00:10:22,276 and you'll be right as rain. 237 00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,002 - One gram doctor? 238 00:10:24,002 --> 00:10:25,038 Are you sure? 239 00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:29,836 - Yasmin's very good. 240 00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:31,976 Almost too good. 241 00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,738 I've even learned a thing or two myself, 242 00:10:35,738 --> 00:10:38,534 but of course she's the apprentice. 243 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:40,294 I'm still the master. 244 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:46,646 - Oh, hey. 245 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:49,441 How's it going with Yasmin? 246 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:50,822 - Yeah... alright. 247 00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:54,654 [mouthing one, two, thr-] 248 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:59,417 Look! I just, just don't think she's right for the clinic. 249 00:10:59,417 --> 00:11:01,039 I know her type, okay? 250 00:11:01,039 --> 00:11:03,663 Like she's, she's conniving, two-faced! 251 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,837 - Oh. Imagine someone like that. 252 00:11:05,837 --> 00:11:09,392 Well, she can't be any worse than Herman. 253 00:11:09,392 --> 00:11:11,187 - He seemed nice. 254 00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:12,948 Didn't you say he invited you out for a drink later? 255 00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:13,983 - Yeah. 256 00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,813 Probably to buy my vote. 257 00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:20,127 That kid's literally bribing his way through life. 258 00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:23,165 - Well, what have I told you about giving people a chance? 259 00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:25,132 Hey, I mean, 260 00:11:25,132 --> 00:11:26,927 I'm sure beneath all that privileged white exterior, 261 00:11:26,927 --> 00:11:31,069 there's a multicoloured rainbow of hard work, you know. 262 00:11:33,037 --> 00:11:35,487 - Blast it! Lost her! 263 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:38,007 Anyone seen a Maryanne round here? 264 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:38,905 No? 265 00:11:40,872 --> 00:11:41,735 SexNow! 266 00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:49,467 PRINTER WHIRRING 267 00:11:53,885 --> 00:11:55,784 - Gwenno, 268 00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:59,132 now, there's something I want to say to you, alright? 269 00:11:59,132 --> 00:12:00,478 And if you're not interested, 270 00:12:00,478 --> 00:12:02,031 no wukkas, 271 00:12:02,031 --> 00:12:04,171 understood loud and clear, all right... 272 00:12:04,171 --> 00:12:06,208 But I just wanted to ask... 273 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,908 Gwenno! 274 00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:18,254 - Does this printer sound like it's going to explode to you? 275 00:12:18,254 --> 00:12:19,117 - I, 276 00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:20,256 what? 277 00:12:20,256 --> 00:12:22,293 What do you mean? 278 00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:23,777 - Greg, what would you do if 279 00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,815 this was your last day on earth? 280 00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:30,301 - Probably something that I've wanted to do 281 00:12:31,612 --> 00:12:33,925 or say for quite a while now. 282 00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:35,824 That, 283 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:41,174 I should probably book 284 00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:44,246 a follow-up appointment for my results. 285 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,662 Yeah. Tomorrow would be ace. 286 00:12:46,662 --> 00:12:49,838 - What if there was no tomorrow? 287 00:12:49,838 --> 00:12:50,977 - Well then I don't know. 288 00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:54,049 Squeeze me in today if you can. 289 00:12:54,049 --> 00:12:54,981 No big deal. 290 00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:58,018 - Home time! 291 00:12:58,018 --> 00:12:59,606 Good work today Yasmin. 292 00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:00,745 - Great! 293 00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:01,850 So, 294 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,368 about the placement? 295 00:13:04,887 --> 00:13:06,889 - It's still pretty neck and neck. 296 00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:09,029 So me and Steph decided 297 00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:11,135 we'll decide in the morning. 298 00:13:11,135 --> 00:13:13,068 You coming? 299 00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:15,415 - You know, I might just stay behind and finish up. 300 00:13:15,415 --> 00:13:17,072 I usually work late at uni, 301 00:13:17,072 --> 00:13:19,315 but you should head home if you're tired. 302 00:13:19,315 --> 00:13:21,835 - Oh, I wasn't going home. 303 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,112 Hope you didn't think that? 304 00:13:23,112 --> 00:13:24,700 I work late too, 305 00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,115 usually till about eight or nine. 306 00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,221 - I usually go till 10 or 11. 307 00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:30,292 - Well I go to 12 or 13. 308 00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:32,052 By which I mean, one. 309 00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:48,172 - Here we are. 310 00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:50,070 And here's your change. 311 00:13:51,209 --> 00:13:52,762 - Oh, you got the drinks. 312 00:13:52,762 --> 00:13:54,074 - Did I? 313 00:13:54,074 --> 00:13:55,282 How silly of me. 314 00:13:56,387 --> 00:13:58,113 - If I didn't know any better, 315 00:13:58,113 --> 00:13:59,769 I'd say you've just asked me down at the pub 316 00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:01,426 so you could bribe me. 317 00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,014 - Whoa, bribe you? 318 00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:03,912 Saucy Steph. 319 00:14:03,912 --> 00:14:05,051 No, no, no. 320 00:14:05,051 --> 00:14:07,294 This is just to say cheers. 321 00:14:07,294 --> 00:14:11,126 I even got you a thank you card and everything. 322 00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,473 - ... You know if you were trying to bribe me, 323 00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:15,958 there'd be big trouble, yeah? 324 00:14:17,339 --> 00:14:18,927 - You know what? On second thoughts, 325 00:14:18,927 --> 00:14:21,274 this might be the wrong card. 326 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,072 - So who made you get into medicine, Herman? 327 00:14:26,072 --> 00:14:27,556 - Hermano, please. 328 00:14:27,556 --> 00:14:30,179 Well, basically because the old man told me to 329 00:14:30,179 --> 00:14:33,079 and it pays well, of course. 330 00:14:33,079 --> 00:14:36,220 And you really get a sense of power, 331 00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,878 which I feel has been lost by my lot recently. 332 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,328 - Yeah - I'm going to have to stop you there. 333 00:14:41,328 --> 00:14:42,985 - Yes? 334 00:14:42,985 --> 00:14:44,400 - Oh, I don't have anything to say. 335 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,852 I'm just going to have to stop you there. 336 00:15:03,178 --> 00:15:05,042 - All right. Well, I've just 337 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:07,251 finished digitising the last of the files from '97. 338 00:15:07,251 --> 00:15:09,494 - Yasmin, I'm sooo impressed, 339 00:15:09,494 --> 00:15:12,532 but you should definitely call it a night there, 340 00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:13,567 You scamp! 341 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:14,465 - No way. 342 00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:17,123 No, I'm in for the long haul, 343 00:15:17,123 --> 00:15:20,126 but you should definitely head off. 344 00:15:20,126 --> 00:15:21,575 - Seriously? 345 00:15:21,575 --> 00:15:23,612 Have you ever heard of a professional doctor 346 00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:26,373 going home before their student?! 347 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,169 - "Professional." 348 00:15:39,317 --> 00:15:40,249 - What the? 349 00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:45,530 Langdon? 350 00:15:47,498 --> 00:15:49,983 - Good morning Stephy! 351 00:15:49,983 --> 00:15:52,089 - Have you been here all night? 352 00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:55,609 - You say that like I don't always pull all nighters. 353 00:15:55,609 --> 00:15:57,577 - You don't. 354 00:15:57,577 --> 00:15:59,717 - And before you ask, I've decided for both of us, 355 00:15:59,717 --> 00:16:04,066 that Herman is the best choice for the placement. 356 00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:06,068 - Have you lost your mind? 357 00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:06,724 - Yup! 358 00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:07,690 I mean, no. 359 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:09,037 I called Herman, 360 00:16:09,037 --> 00:16:10,176 and told him to come in today 361 00:16:10,176 --> 00:16:12,454 and for the next three months. 362 00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,214 - And you just sent Yasmin packing? 363 00:16:14,214 --> 00:16:15,664 - No, 364 00:16:15,664 --> 00:16:18,184 she's still here... fell asleep in my office. 365 00:16:18,184 --> 00:16:19,012 Rookie. 366 00:16:20,393 --> 00:16:21,739 - Morning fam, 367 00:16:21,739 --> 00:16:23,534 take it you found the hungie 368 00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,467 I slipped in your pocket last night? 369 00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:26,364 - Go home Herman. 370 00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:27,400 - Okay. 371 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,263 - No, stay Herman, 372 00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:29,126 stay. 373 00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,680 - Ooooh, 374 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,096 classic stalemate. 375 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:36,133 - Greg! ...what are you doing here? 376 00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,307 - Came in for my results mate. 377 00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:40,413 Now at the clubhouse when we're picking new members, 378 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,311 we usually get them to have a knife off. 379 00:16:42,311 --> 00:16:44,175 So I don't know. 380 00:16:44,175 --> 00:16:45,694 You could do whatever the smartass version of that is. 381 00:16:45,694 --> 00:16:47,351 Like a scalpel off. 382 00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:51,596 - A knowledge off. 383 00:16:52,563 --> 00:16:54,392 Yasmin versus Herman. 384 00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:56,636 The loser gets sent packing. 385 00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,641 - I'm confident. 386 00:17:01,641 --> 00:17:04,747 I know for a fact Yasmin got less sleep than me last night 387 00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:06,542 because I power napped on the toilet 388 00:17:06,542 --> 00:17:08,303 after sending her for coffee. 389 00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:11,720 And I can hardly string a dentist together. 390 00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:14,585 All right. 391 00:17:15,862 --> 00:17:17,795 This is an old school knowledge off, 392 00:17:17,795 --> 00:17:19,486 the rules to which Steph and I 393 00:17:19,486 --> 00:17:23,214 have lovingly crafted over the last hour. 394 00:17:23,214 --> 00:17:25,251 - I'm going to ask you a series of questions. 395 00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:27,425 Whoever gets the most right, wins. 396 00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:29,427 - This test will pave your very futures. 397 00:17:29,427 --> 00:17:30,635 So no pressure. 398 00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:32,637 All right. 399 00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,467 Question one Yasmin. 400 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:36,641 What is the name of the reaction that causes headaches 401 00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:38,712 and fever around eight hours 402 00:17:38,712 --> 00:17:42,509 from the first treatment of syphilis? 403 00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,339 - I know this. 404 00:17:44,339 --> 00:17:46,203 It's like the Jarmusch- 405 00:17:46,203 --> 00:17:46,858 - Wrong! 406 00:17:48,446 --> 00:17:51,208 It's the Jarisch-Herxheimer reaction. 407 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,246 - All right. Question for you, posh. 408 00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:56,282 Pin the tail, 409 00:17:57,593 --> 00:17:59,526 on the clitoris. 410 00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:00,389 - Ooh, 411 00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:02,771 I like it Doc. 412 00:18:02,771 --> 00:18:04,531 It's a trick question. 413 00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:06,050 The clitoris is a myth. 414 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,707 Like Atlantis, 415 00:18:07,707 --> 00:18:09,467 or minimum wage. 416 00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:10,503 - Wrong. 417 00:18:10,503 --> 00:18:11,780 It's right there. 418 00:18:12,746 --> 00:18:13,954 - There's nothing there. 419 00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:15,818 - Because this sadly, 420 00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:17,475 was drawn by a man. 421 00:18:19,063 --> 00:18:20,789 Are all my questions related to sexual health? 422 00:18:20,789 --> 00:18:22,549 Of course. 423 00:18:22,549 --> 00:18:25,897 Does there happen to be a particular theme? 424 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:26,760 Maybe. 425 00:18:28,348 --> 00:18:30,971 Okay. Herman, show me the labia minora. 426 00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:41,361 Yep. That's the belly button. 427 00:18:41,361 --> 00:18:42,535 Again. 428 00:18:42,535 --> 00:18:43,398 - God. 429 00:18:43,398 --> 00:18:44,053 So close. 430 00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:47,367 - And it's a tie, 431 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,369 which means sudden death. 432 00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:52,648 The first to put their hand up 433 00:18:52,648 --> 00:18:54,029 and answer correctly, wins. 434 00:18:54,029 --> 00:18:56,100 But answer incorrectly, Yasmin. 435 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,895 And you lose, Yasmin. 436 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,761 Mgen is one of the lesser known STIs, 437 00:19:01,761 --> 00:19:04,729 but what is the disease's full name? 438 00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:07,870 Anyone? 439 00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:10,045 I'm looking at you, Yasmin. 440 00:19:10,045 --> 00:19:11,046 - Oh. 441 00:19:11,046 --> 00:19:12,806 - No Herman! Bad Herman. 442 00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:15,084 - It's Mycoplasma Genitalium. 443 00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,053 It's literally the only one I know 444 00:19:18,053 --> 00:19:21,815 because I had it for like five years. 445 00:19:21,815 --> 00:19:23,127 - That's correct. 446 00:19:24,922 --> 00:19:25,923 Herman wins. 447 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,063 - No! 448 00:19:28,995 --> 00:19:29,892 NO! 449 00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:33,551 I knew every one of those. 450 00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:35,933 And I stayed up all night working just to make 451 00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:38,970 this jumped up man-child happy. 452 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,903 - Yasmin, 453 00:19:40,903 --> 00:19:44,631 emotional maturity is kind of important in this job, so... 454 00:19:44,631 --> 00:19:45,460 [blows raspberry] 455 00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:54,193 - Okay, I'll get my things. 456 00:20:05,928 --> 00:20:08,103 - Do I feel bad Herman won? 457 00:20:09,829 --> 00:20:10,726 Nah, 458 00:20:12,072 --> 00:20:14,765 Yasmin will find another placement. 459 00:20:14,765 --> 00:20:16,767 It was the right choice, 460 00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:18,907 for the clinic. 461 00:20:23,705 --> 00:20:24,740 - Yasmin! 462 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:27,053 - I'm going! I'm going. 463 00:20:27,053 --> 00:20:27,916 - No 464 00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:30,746 I wanted to say, 465 00:20:32,127 --> 00:20:35,648 the 89 tram stops just around the corner. 466 00:20:37,028 --> 00:20:37,891 - Right... 467 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,100 Thanks. 468 00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:42,827 - No. Wait. 469 00:20:44,795 --> 00:20:48,868 You're obviously the best choice for the placement... 470 00:20:50,214 --> 00:20:52,803 If you're still interested. That is. 471 00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:54,632 - Yeah. Yeah. 472 00:20:54,632 --> 00:20:55,806 That'd be cool. 473 00:20:56,703 --> 00:20:57,601 - Great. 474 00:20:58,947 --> 00:21:01,950 Well, get back in there you good thing!! 475 00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:03,917 - I'm going home, 476 00:21:03,917 --> 00:21:05,160 to get some sleep. 477 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,748 But see you tomorrow. 478 00:21:06,748 --> 00:21:07,714 - 'Course. See you tomorrow, 479 00:21:07,714 --> 00:21:08,922 Almost-Dr-Dagher. 480 00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:18,000 Aaaannd she went home first! 481 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,899 I'm the better doctor after all. 482 00:21:19,899 --> 00:21:20,796 Knew it! 483 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,835 - Hi! I'm here for my results. 484 00:21:24,835 --> 00:21:25,870 - Sure. 485 00:21:25,870 --> 00:21:26,871 Take a seat. 486 00:21:27,769 --> 00:21:29,080 - You look, 487 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,944 you look like shit dear. 488 00:21:30,944 --> 00:21:32,325 - Funny that. 489 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,016 Maybe because I spent all of yesterday 490 00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:35,984 thinking I was going to die. 491 00:21:35,984 --> 00:21:36,985 - What? 492 00:21:36,985 --> 00:21:38,262 Oh, the fortune? 493 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,197 The spirit said this would be your final resting place. 494 00:21:42,197 --> 00:21:43,992 They didn't say when, 495 00:21:43,992 --> 00:21:46,995 you got a good 60 years give or take. 496 00:21:48,376 --> 00:21:51,793 - In 60 years, I'll still be working here? 497 00:22:02,182 --> 00:22:03,943 - You know, 498 00:22:03,943 --> 00:22:05,876 the spirits are telling me 499 00:22:05,876 --> 00:22:08,948 you're going to meet your future life partner today. 500 00:22:08,948 --> 00:22:10,190 - Oh yeah? 501 00:22:10,190 --> 00:22:11,468 - Yeah. 502 00:22:11,468 --> 00:22:12,365 - Right on. 503 00:22:19,096 --> 00:22:20,373 All right, Gwen, 504 00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:22,099 enough stuffing around. 505 00:22:22,099 --> 00:22:24,066 This isn't easy for me, 506 00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:28,070 but I'm, 507 00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:30,832 I'm not good with numbers 508 00:22:30,832 --> 00:22:32,834 and I don't reckon there is even CLOSE... 509 00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:35,112 to a million files in there. 510 00:22:36,493 --> 00:22:39,979 It's probably not even a thousand if I'm honest. 511 00:22:39,979 --> 00:22:40,842 - Okay. 512 00:22:41,946 --> 00:22:42,775 - Yeah, 513 00:22:45,467 --> 00:22:46,917 feels good that. 514 00:22:53,889 --> 00:22:55,788 - Oh. 515 00:22:55,788 --> 00:22:58,204 I managed to deactivate Herman's SexNow! account last night. 516 00:22:58,204 --> 00:23:00,275 So that's a start. 517 00:23:00,275 --> 00:23:01,276 Speaking of, 518 00:23:01,276 --> 00:23:02,173 pub? 519 00:23:02,173 --> 00:23:03,174 My shout. 520 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,037 - Ah. 521 00:23:04,037 --> 00:23:04,900 Love to. 522 00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:05,901 Thanks Steph. 523 00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:06,592 - Don't thank me. 524 00:23:06,592 --> 00:23:07,903 Thank Hermano. 525 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:14,185 - Did you tell Herman he didn't get the placement? 526 00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:18,880 - Oh, it wasn't my idea to hire an extra med student. 527 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,295 Come on. 528 00:23:20,295 --> 00:23:21,469 There's something about treating thrush 529 00:23:21,469 --> 00:23:23,091 that makes me really want beer. 530 00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:30,339 Did you know that you can catch STIs 531 00:23:30,339 --> 00:23:32,549 in other places than just your genitals? 532 00:23:32,549 --> 00:23:33,895 - That's right. 533 00:23:33,895 --> 00:23:35,552 STIs in your throat and bum 534 00:23:35,552 --> 00:23:36,967 can be transmitted through 535 00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:37,623 oral sex, 536 00:23:37,623 --> 00:23:39,003 penetrative sex, 537 00:23:39,003 --> 00:23:40,315 or even from sharing toys. 538 00:23:40,315 --> 00:23:42,248 - That's why practising safe sex 539 00:23:42,248 --> 00:23:44,906 and having regular checkups is so important 540 00:23:44,906 --> 00:23:47,115 regardless of the kinds of sex you're having. 541 00:23:47,115 --> 00:23:49,220 - Except maybe phone sex. 35446

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