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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,175 [phone ringing] [Gwen's music playing] 2 00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,212 [phone ringing] [Gwen's music playing] 3 00:00:05,212 --> 00:00:06,799 [phone ringing] [Gwen's music playing] 4 00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:09,250 [running footsteps] 5 00:00:09,285 --> 00:00:11,666 - Metropolitan Sexual Health, Dr. Marsh speaking. 6 00:00:11,666 --> 00:00:14,807 - Langdon, this is Graft. I'm five minutes away. 7 00:00:14,842 --> 00:00:18,018 At least I was when I called five minutes ago. 8 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:19,019 - Minimize!! 9 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:22,022 Ms. Graft, how wonderful to see you. 10 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:25,266 - Okay, we have a situation we need to discuss 11 00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:26,992 which could affect the future of this clinic 12 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,546 and the very fabric of the Sexual Health Industry. 13 00:00:31,169 --> 00:00:32,756 - A celebrity! 14 00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:35,380 A celebrity has an appointment at Metro Sexual today. 15 00:00:36,415 --> 00:00:39,625 It could be anyone. It could be the Queen. 16 00:00:40,626 --> 00:00:42,594 I mean, I know it's not, but... 17 00:00:43,215 --> 00:00:44,837 What if it is? 18 00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:48,186 [hums 'Rule Britannia'] 19 00:00:49,187 --> 00:00:52,293 - Whoever it is, I'm going to see them. Hm? 20 00:00:52,328 --> 00:00:53,294 [Langdon giggles] 21 00:00:53,363 --> 00:00:54,192 Why? 22 00:00:56,677 --> 00:00:59,542 - I've gotta say, I loved 'The Crown'. 23 00:00:59,576 --> 00:01:01,613 I just thought, what a life! 24 00:01:01,647 --> 00:01:03,442 [laughs] 25 00:01:03,442 --> 00:01:06,342 - [sighs] Yeah. It's for the best. 26 00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:09,379 [upbeat music] 27 00:01:27,432 --> 00:01:30,159 - Now Gwen, celebrities love telling the paparazzi 28 00:01:30,193 --> 00:01:32,713 about their most intimate experiences, so when he 29 00:01:32,747 --> 00:01:34,922 or Her Majesty comes in offer them the good chairs. 30 00:01:34,956 --> 00:01:35,957 Not the stained ones. 31 00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:37,442 - Got it. No jizz seats. 32 00:01:37,476 --> 00:01:39,375 - Now, in terms of valet parking, 33 00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:40,617 [bell rings] 34 00:01:40,652 --> 00:01:41,722 obviously we don't have an official policy, but I thought 35 00:01:41,756 --> 00:01:43,620 that obviously the corgies are gonna come in first, 36 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:45,588 all right? - Hi? 37 00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:49,212 I ... have an appointment. 38 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:50,144 - I'm sorry? 39 00:01:50,213 --> 00:01:52,042 We're trying to have a conversation here. 40 00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:54,390 - Yes, you were saying about the valet service... 41 00:01:54,459 --> 00:01:55,805 - Yes, the valet service-- 42 00:01:55,874 --> 00:01:58,911 - Sorry [laughs] I'm a new patient. 43 00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:01,328 I've just been referred here. 44 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,021 - That? 45 00:02:05,055 --> 00:02:06,988 That is not a celebrity, okay? 46 00:02:07,023 --> 00:02:08,645 A celebrity is someone you see 47 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:11,338 and immediately want to throw up on, like Fifi Box 48 00:02:11,407 --> 00:02:14,548 or that kid who played Bronson in 'Round the Twist'. 49 00:02:14,582 --> 00:02:16,308 I have no idea who that is. 50 00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:19,553 [shriek] 51 00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:21,279 [heavy breathing] 52 00:02:29,770 --> 00:02:32,013 [clattering] 53 00:02:32,048 --> 00:02:34,188 - I don't normally get starstruck 54 00:02:34,223 --> 00:02:37,260 but out there is Alicia Noble, yeah? 55 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:41,609 THE. Alicia. Noble. 56 00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,374 Alright, next up I've got an Alicia. 57 00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,445 Is there an Alicia Noble here? 58 00:02:49,479 --> 00:02:52,102 - Hey, Dr. Huddleston, I presume? 59 00:02:58,419 --> 00:03:00,559 - She knows my name... 60 00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:02,078 [laughs] 61 00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,459 [clears throat] 62 00:03:03,493 --> 00:03:05,185 Play it cool Steph. 63 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:12,433 So, it was Alicia, was it? Alicia Noble? 64 00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:14,573 - Yeah, but you can call me Al. 65 00:03:14,573 --> 00:03:18,577 - Ohh. And, what is it that you do, Alicia Noble? 66 00:03:18,577 --> 00:03:20,200 - I work in radio. 67 00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:21,753 - Oh, that's cool! 68 00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:24,100 Like the ... like the kind that you listen to, eh? 69 00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:26,413 - [Laughs] Yeah, that's the one. 70 00:03:26,413 --> 00:03:29,174 - Ah, you seem like you'd have a really good voice 71 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,660 for a station with a niche but very dedicated fan base. 72 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,698 5am to 8am every weekday morning, perhaps? 73 00:03:35,698 --> 00:03:38,079 - Actually, that's exactly what I do. 74 00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:41,324 - Is it really? Oh wow, that's great. 75 00:03:41,324 --> 00:03:43,913 I'll have to ... have to have a listen sometime! 76 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:56,305 - So, I've had a little bit of... 77 00:03:56,339 --> 00:03:57,616 you know, like... 78 00:03:57,616 --> 00:04:00,067 A little bit of a... 79 00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:02,621 So I thought I should get it checked out. 80 00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:04,554 I mean, you know, it's probably just thrush 81 00:04:04,623 --> 00:04:09,214 but ... peace of mind and all that. 82 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:14,495 - Well, we'll get you checked out then, no problem. A... 83 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:16,601 - Al. 84 00:04:16,635 --> 00:04:21,640 - ...Licia Noble. Is your name. 85 00:04:24,954 --> 00:04:25,851 - [Breathes] Okay. 86 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,818 You hot? 87 00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:28,060 I'm a little bit... 88 00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:30,994 - It's um... No, I'm okay. 89 00:04:31,029 --> 00:04:34,688 - [Breathes] Okay. I just feel... 90 00:04:34,722 --> 00:04:35,896 Ugh, I feel... 91 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,207 ill! 92 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,280 [drum beats] 93 00:04:42,454 --> 00:04:45,733 - Just got the results back for Alicia Noble's test 94 00:04:46,562 --> 00:04:51,360 and she doesn't have thrush. She's got chlamydia. 95 00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:55,018 Hi, Alicia [clears throat]. Have a seat. 96 00:04:56,641 --> 00:05:02,163 You've tested positive to life and chlamydia. 97 00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:05,443 [door opens] 98 00:05:11,759 --> 00:05:14,969 - So, it's just thrush, right? 99 00:05:15,004 --> 00:05:18,179 - Well, actually you have... 100 00:05:23,081 --> 00:05:26,153 You have thrush. It's just thrush. 101 00:05:26,187 --> 00:05:29,052 - [laughs] Thank God, that's a relief. 102 00:05:29,087 --> 00:05:31,296 - Gotta 'crush that thrush!' 103 00:05:31,296 --> 00:05:32,815 [laughs nervously] 104 00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:33,643 - Okay? 105 00:05:33,678 --> 00:05:35,093 - Yeah I must go now. 106 00:05:36,543 --> 00:05:39,304 - Have you got funeral insurance, Phil? 107 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,927 Your results came back and we better get you 108 00:05:41,962 --> 00:05:43,550 to the hospital as soon as possible 109 00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:45,414 because you have the worst case of-- 110 00:05:45,483 --> 00:05:46,932 [door opens] 111 00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,003 - You. Get out. 112 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:50,936 I need help with the celebrity. 113 00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:51,972 - Not a celebrity. 114 00:05:52,006 --> 00:05:53,836 - She's got chlamydia. 115 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:56,045 - Yeah, just give her a script for Azithromycin. 116 00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:57,046 Everyone's happy. 117 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,944 - But I told her she has thrush. 118 00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:01,015 - What?! Steph, why? 119 00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:03,570 - I don't know. It just came out. 120 00:06:03,570 --> 00:06:05,192 I didn't want to disappoint her. 121 00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:06,296 - What do you think's going to happen 122 00:06:06,331 --> 00:06:08,402 when she tells Graft you lied? 123 00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:11,371 - What if she talks about it on Country FM? 124 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,199 - Country FM? 125 00:06:12,233 --> 00:06:14,443 - What am I going to do? 126 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,791 Why are you still here? 127 00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:22,209 - Phil! Gee - I am so sorry. 128 00:06:26,627 --> 00:06:28,008 [knock on door] 129 00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:29,147 - Hello? 130 00:06:29,216 --> 00:06:31,874 - Hi, Ms. Noble. There's just an extra section of this 131 00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:35,774 medical form I forgot to get you to fill out, please. 132 00:06:35,774 --> 00:06:38,467 - This whole section is drawn in pen. 133 00:06:38,501 --> 00:06:40,400 - Yeah, the printer's down. 134 00:06:40,469 --> 00:06:43,230 - Are these really relevant details? 135 00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:47,027 Favorite swimwear? Hughesy's contact details? 136 00:06:47,096 --> 00:06:49,478 This one just says "Any Goss?" 137 00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:53,965 - Yeah, it helps the doctors with whatever they do, 138 00:06:53,999 --> 00:06:55,173 you know? 139 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,002 - Okay... 140 00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:03,595 - So, when Kerry O'Brien came in, 141 00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:05,908 I filled the room with camomile candles, 142 00:07:05,942 --> 00:07:08,358 I poured him some tea, I looked him in the eye 143 00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:13,363 and said "Kerry, I know Orchitis is painful, 144 00:07:13,743 --> 00:07:16,090 but with a prescription of Ciprofloxacin 145 00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,885 we'll be able to get your testicles back down 146 00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:20,440 to their normal size in no time." 147 00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:26,687 - Thank you. 148 00:07:28,344 --> 00:07:29,759 Thank you so much. 149 00:07:31,036 --> 00:07:33,453 [door opens] 150 00:07:36,145 --> 00:07:37,318 [Alicia laughs] 151 00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:43,359 [Country music plays] 152 00:07:45,637 --> 00:07:47,777 - So I'm in the clear, right? 153 00:07:47,812 --> 00:07:51,160 - Um. Not ... not quite. 154 00:07:51,194 --> 00:07:53,369 - What do you mean "not quite"? 155 00:07:53,403 --> 00:07:56,510 - Well, on second opinion-- 156 00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:58,685 - Whose second opinion? 157 00:07:58,719 --> 00:08:00,272 - My second opinion. 158 00:08:01,722 --> 00:08:05,830 It's a funny story really. You'll laugh [laughs]. 159 00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:11,629 Not quite a mix-up but more of a lying situation. 160 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:15,598 Um... 161 00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:16,599 Al-- 162 00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:17,876 - Alicia. 163 00:08:17,911 --> 00:08:20,638 - You have...you have Chlamydia. 164 00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:24,089 Surprise... 165 00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:29,336 - [Gasps] Why did you say I had thrush?! 166 00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,924 - I didn't want to make you mad. 167 00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:32,615 - You didn't want to make... 168 00:08:32,684 --> 00:08:35,342 You are the worst doctor!! 169 00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:38,966 [door slams] 170 00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,624 [country music still plays] 171 00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:43,350 [drum beat] 172 00:08:51,082 --> 00:08:53,498 - Look, we got there in the end. 173 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,398 Fortunately, I know a lot about Alicia, 174 00:08:57,467 --> 00:09:00,988 thanks to listening to her show fanatically for years. 175 00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:03,439 Did I use that knowledge to my advantage? 176 00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:04,647 Maybe. 177 00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:08,478 Did I learn that Alicia is just a regular person? 178 00:09:08,478 --> 00:09:10,791 But a really cool regular person? 179 00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:14,450 Definitely. 180 00:09:14,484 --> 00:09:17,073 [street noise] 181 00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:23,148 - So, how did it go with the celebrity? 182 00:09:23,148 --> 00:09:25,185 - Went great [laughs]. 183 00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:27,359 We heard her radio show this morning 184 00:09:27,394 --> 00:09:31,122 and she said it was ultimately a truly professional, 185 00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:33,607 uplifting, lie-free experience. 186 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,023 - Sorry, what radio show? 187 00:09:36,023 --> 00:09:37,542 - Alicia Noble's. 188 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,649 - Who is that? That... that's not a celebrity. 189 00:09:40,649 --> 00:09:42,029 Nobody looks up to her. 190 00:09:42,064 --> 00:09:43,272 - I-- 191 00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:46,896 I was talking about Philip Dudd, 192 00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:48,864 marketing salesman of the year 193 00:09:48,898 --> 00:09:51,763 at the Melbourne Industry Leaders expo. 194 00:09:51,763 --> 00:09:56,250 No? Oh, please tell me that you looked after him properly. 195 00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:57,942 - Philip... 196 00:09:58,874 --> 00:09:59,702 Phil... 197 00:10:02,222 --> 00:10:03,395 Oh, no. 198 00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,190 - What do you mean "Oh, no"? 199 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:11,231 - Hello dear. Still on my way home, I'm afraid. 200 00:10:11,231 --> 00:10:12,232 The traffic's Hell. 201 00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:15,028 What's that? 202 00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:19,066 You're standing next to my car 203 00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:22,311 outside the sexual health clinic? 204 00:10:22,311 --> 00:10:23,277 Ah! [laughs] 205 00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:25,245 I see. 206 00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:30,250 Shit. 207 00:10:30,284 --> 00:10:33,149 [upbeat music] 208 00:10:35,773 --> 00:10:38,914 - Without a doubt, the most common STI in Australia is-- 209 00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,191 - Chlamydia. 210 00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:43,366 - And in women, the infection can often show no visible-- 211 00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:45,058 - Symptoms. Stop that. 212 00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:46,680 If Chlamydia is left unchecked, 213 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,614 it can be really damaging, and sometimes even lead 214 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,615 to infertility. 215 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,720 - Which is why, 216 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,067 even if you have no obvious symptoms of an STI, 217 00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,690 regular sexual health checkups are so important. 218 00:10:56,725 --> 00:11:00,314 [upbeat music] 15108

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