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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,265 (CHALK SCRATCHING) 2 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:46,468 (CHILD LAUGHING) 3 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:26,379 (RUSTLING) 4 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,317 MALCOLM: Why isn't this stupid thing workin? 5 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,786 See, that's that bullshit. 6 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,576 I'm taking this shit right back to Best Buy. 7 00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,616 Or not. 8 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,457 Stupid lens cap. 9 00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,962 Wow! 10 00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,355 Brand-new camera. 11 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,491 I'm filming everything with this. 12 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,126 Christmas, New Year's, vagina. 13 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,504 All right. Today is the big day. 14 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,701 My girlfriend Kisha's moving in. 15 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,971 Now, all my boys keep telling me, "Don't do it, don't do it, 16 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,809 because everything's gonna change." 17 00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,314 "She's gonna take over your house." 18 00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,582 "She's never gonna cook again." 19 00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,675 "And worst of all, 20 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,151 you're putting your dick in jail." 21 00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,620 I think they're trippin'. 22 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,556 Once she moves in, everything's gonna be perfect. 23 00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:06,852 Place looks nice. 24 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860 Baby boy cleaned up for you, huh? 25 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,657 (THUDS) Oh, shit! 26 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,027 Rosa! 27 00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,326 (SHOUTING IN SPANISH) 28 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,990 Hey, you gotta announce yourself. 29 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,059 You can't just creep up on me. (SPANISH CONTINUES) 30 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,899 Aw, come on. This is my housekeeper, Rosa. 31 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,167 Say hi. Say hi. Say hi! 32 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,004 Hi! Hola. Say "Hola." Hola. 33 00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,065 Bye-bye! 34 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,234 No, no. We gonna say hi the right way. 35 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,973 (SPEAKING SPANISH) (SPEAKING FAKE SPANISH) 36 00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:29,378 Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay! 37 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,313 Do this. Oh! 38 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,982 I'm a big bambino? 39 00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,714 (SPANISH) 40 00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,482 You know I love you. (DOG BARKING) 41 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,988 Hey, Shiloh! Say hi to Mommy. 42 00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,093 I'm gonna hump you on your leg, Kisha. That's right. 43 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,528 And I'm gonna lick you all over your face 44 00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,724 with my dog-ball mouth. 45 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:47,924 (LAUGHS) 46 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,969 (HORN HONKING) Oh, shit. Here she comes. 47 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,094 Hi, baby! 48 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,468 Hey, baby! Hi! 49 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,561 (BARKING) 50 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,163 No, no, Shiloh! Wait! No, no, no, no! 51 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,440 (LOUD THUD) Shiloh! What did you do? 52 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,000 I didn't see him! What did you do? 53 00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,067 I'm so sorry. 54 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,454 Oh, my God! (SCREAMS) (SHOUTING) 55 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,116 Shiloh, come on, breathe. 56 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,208 Maybe he's just playing dead. 57 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,253 He doesn't know how to play dead. 58 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,753 He knows how to shake hands. He knows how to fetch. 59 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,619 He knows how to roll over. 60 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,924 He don't know how to play dead. 61 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,359 Come on, Shiloh, breathe. 62 00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,452 One, two, three. Breathe. 63 00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,463 KISHA: Aww! (PANTING) 64 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,285 Give me the jumper cables. The jumper cables? 65 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,393 Give me the goddamn jumper cables! 66 00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,799 Don't you die on me! 67 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,330 Start the car! (SPARKING) 68 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,203 Clear! Go! 69 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:29,605 (ENGINE REVS) Oh, shit! 70 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,937 (CRYING) 71 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:33,406 (WAILING) 72 00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,503 Meet me at the hospital! 73 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,776 (BAWLING) 74 00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,014 The hospital's that way! 75 00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,450 Don't go towards the light, Shiloh! 76 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,590 (SOBS) You're in a better place now, buddy. 77 00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,455 KISHA: I'm so, so sorry. 78 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,752 It's okay, baby. 79 00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,593 It's... It's not your fault. Yes, it is. 80 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,429 You know, look... Look on the bright side. 81 00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,401 I'm allergic to dogs. 82 00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,904 I know, but that's what was so great about Shiloh. 83 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,175 He was hypoallergenic. 84 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,108 Shiloh! 85 00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,938 (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) 86 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:14,112 (LOUD SOBBING) 87 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,790 (SOBBING CONTINUES) 88 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,857 Oh, my God! Look at all this shit. 89 00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,453 Okay, Malcolm, this is the last box. 90 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,362 What's with the camera? 91 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,833 I'm documenting our lives together. 92 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,960 Say hi. 93 00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,904 Hi! Okay. Mmm. 94 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,597 That ass lookin' nice, baby. 95 00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,075 Hey, hey. Pan up, pan up. I see that. 96 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,736 Baby, you are officially a hoarder. 97 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,439 I swear to God, I'm gonna open one of these boxes 98 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,108 and find, like, a dead cat and an old baloney sandwich in it. 99 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,810 Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. 100 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,816 Oh, my God. Do you need these? 101 00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,320 Yes! These are... For what? 102 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,118 These are good wedding shoes! 103 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,681 One to 10, what are you feeling right now about that? 104 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,190 Um, 8.7. 105 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,296 (GRUNTS) What do you feel about that? Nine. Nine. 106 00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,422 That's a nine? Yes. 107 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,467 No, wait! Come on. Come on. What's this? Hold on. 108 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,401 This is a box that my aunt brought from Kenya. 109 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:06,964 This is a nine, too. 110 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,098 Oh, my God! 111 00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,397 Say it. 112 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,966 Hi, my name is Kisha Davis, and I'm a hoarder. 113 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,647 There's shame. 114 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,477 Oh, wow. 115 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,984 Are these your daddy's ashes? 116 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,189 Yes, Malcolm. They go where I go. 117 00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,017 So, we're gonna have his ghost watching over us? 118 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,553 That's comforting. 119 00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:32,064 Just put him in the other room. He likes to watch TV. 120 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,223 He's dead. What's he gonna watch? 121 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,789 American Horror Story? 122 00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,260 Okay, babe, these video games, they have to go. 123 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,101 Wait. Leave my video games alone. They're tacky. 124 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,231 Give me my camera! 125 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,535 Kisha, stop playing. You're gonna break it. 126 00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,803 I'm not gonna break it. (SCREAMS) Give me my camera! 127 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,873 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 128 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,752 "Negra?" Did she just call me a nigger? 129 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,651 What? What? (SPANISH CONTINUES) 130 00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,450 I will lambada your ass! 131 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,956 English! English! Speak English! 132 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,219 Baby. Baby. Baby! 133 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,614 You know she don't like me, right? 134 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,460 Oh, I know what's going on here. 135 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,791 Are you banging Rosa? 136 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,145 You got some Schwarzenegger stuff going on in here, right? 137 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,827 Really? Yeah, okay, yeah. 138 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,334 She's pregnant with my love child right now. 139 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,236 Yeah, we're gonna have a nappy-haired baby that speaks perfect Spanish. 140 00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,474 (CHUCKLES) Come on. Think about it. (LAUGHS) Okay. 141 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,638 Mmm. 142 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,406 Mmm. 143 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,446 Hungry there, buddy? Mm-hmm. 144 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,142 You're over there eating like the Cookie Monster. 145 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,878 (LAUGHS) 146 00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,849 Can I just enjoy my food, please? 147 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,979 Wow. Somebody's crabby. 148 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,149 I'm sorry. I'm just tired. 149 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,127 I haven't been sleeping well. I keep hearing these noises. 150 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,056 Scary. 151 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,961 Well, you don't have to be afraid, okay? 152 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,899 'Cause you're living with me now. 153 00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,302 And nobody's gonna hurt you on my watch. 154 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,771 Okay? Okay. 155 00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,141 Unless the nigger got a gun. 156 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,871 Then you on your own. 157 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,906 What? 158 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,418 (WOLF WHISTLE) Hey, baby, what you doin? 159 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:07,050 Well, it's time to put on something a little more comfortable. 160 00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,193 Aha! That's what I'm talkin' about! 161 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,286 (LAUGHING) 162 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,796 Fellas, get out your pen and pads. 163 00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,628 We about to give you a sex tutorial. Let's do this. 164 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,100 (R & B SONG PLAYING) 165 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,830 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 166 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,174 (PANTING) 167 00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:25,772 (MOANING) 168 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,177 Mmm. Oh. 169 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,078 Yeah. 170 00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,948 Oh, you got the beat! 171 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,419 Oh! Stop. (SHUDDERING) 172 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,116 Stop. Not yet. Not... Ahh! 173 00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,822 (PANTING) 174 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,858 You gonna bring a friend there, huh? 175 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,428 Ah. Ah. 176 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,757 Uh-huh? Watch that. Uh-huh. 177 00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,097 Now you get some, yeah. Watch. Watch. 178 00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:50,357 Ah, taste that. 179 00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,529 Look at Daddy. Uh-huh. 180 00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:54,636 (GRUNTING) 181 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,866 Two dogs, one duck. 182 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,137 Get it nasty. You nasty. 183 00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,371 (DUCK HONKING) 184 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,745 Go home. 185 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,045 I want you by myself. Yeah. 186 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,417 (SIZZLING) Shh. 187 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,550 Oh. Oh, shit! That's still hot! 188 00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,090 Shut up. Take it. You just take it. 189 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:15,194 (WHEEZING GRUNTS) 190 00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994 Take it, take it, take it. 191 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,894 Baby! Yeah, baby? 192 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:23,197 I cannot believe this is our first night living together! 193 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,202 Yeah. It's nice, huh? Uh-huh. 194 00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,135 I can't wait to lie next to you. 195 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,367 Oh, me, too. Gotta go, baby. 196 00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,965 (KISSES) It was fun. 197 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,880 Whoo! 198 00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,174 Get in. 199 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,641 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 200 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,742 Here I come! 201 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,877 Okay, honey. 202 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,483 Baby, you are the sexiest woman... 203 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,688 What the hell? 204 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,926 You know, Malcolm, not everybody goes to bed looking like a supermodel. 205 00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,901 Apparently not. You know? 206 00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,483 Besides, what is wrong with my outfit? 207 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,802 Nothin', if you lived in a box underneath the freeway. 208 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,862 What? 209 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,108 Come on! Hold the sign up, please? 210 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,302 (LAUGHING) 211 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,638 Can I go to bed? 212 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,044 No, you gotta get the joke first! 213 00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,172 Come on. 214 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,307 All right. Okay, fine. 215 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,476 Okay. I'm ready. 216 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,110 All right. Go ahead. 217 00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,211 Spare change? (CHANGE RATTLING) 218 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,950 You stupid! 219 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,799 (KISSES) I love you. Good night. 220 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:46,642 (RUMBLING) 221 00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,585 (LOUD FART) 222 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,623 (COUGHING) 223 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,986 God! 224 00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:01,261 (GASPING) 225 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,865 How could someone so cute be so stink? 226 00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,097 Oh, Jesus Christ! 227 00:10:07,673 --> 00:10:09,140 (LOUD FART) 228 00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,436 Oh, really? Oh, God! 229 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,607 What crawled up your ass and died? 230 00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:16,739 Shit! 231 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,508 (FARTS) Really? 232 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,313 You ain't allowed to move in here and do this shit. 233 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,375 Mm-mmm. 234 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,977 (SPRAYING) Mm-mmm. 235 00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:24,682 (SNIFFS) Ugh! (FARTS) 236 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,020 Aah! (WHIMPERING) 237 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,224 It's alive! What? (HIGH-PITCHED FART) 238 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:32,797 (HYSTERICAL LAUGHING) 239 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,396 Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck! 240 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,901 Oh! 241 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,937 (FARTS) I heard that. 242 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,509 So, we didn't have sex last night. 243 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,173 Kisha didn't cook, and she killed my dog. 244 00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,307 But other than that, 245 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,080 I guess this moving-in thing is gonna be pretty cool. 246 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,481 KISHA: Malcolm! Malcolm! 247 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,223 What's up? 248 00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,056 My keys are on the floor. 249 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,187 Okay. 250 00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,661 Malcolm. What? 251 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,699 Something weird is going on here. 252 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,267 If you mean something weird 253 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,136 Like you farting in your sleep, yes, there is. 254 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,865 No, no. 255 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,097 I think we have a ghost. 256 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,197 A ghost? 257 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,742 Yeah, okay. No, you have a ghost in your ass. 258 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,204 Okay. Come on, really? 259 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,304 I wanna bring a psychic to tell us what's going on. 260 00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,439 A psychic? 261 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,956 Ah, come on, Kish. That's ridiculous. 262 00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,814 Look, I'll tell you what's going on, okay? 263 00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,444 Some neighborhood kid came in here, 264 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,284 stole something out of your purse, and then he left... 265 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,291 No. See, if anyone is stealing anything, 266 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,759 (HISPANIC ACCENT) it is you-know-who, okay? 267 00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,928 Hey, girl! (LAUGHS) 268 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,160 Okay, we have no idea what she's doing when we're not here. 269 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,866 Why is she always wearing gloves? 270 00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,405 Okay, fine. I'll take care of it. 271 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,462 Guilty. 272 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,303 (DOORBELL RINGS) 273 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:51,967 Hey, I'm Dan the Security Man. 274 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,306 Hey, how you doin? Nice to meet you. 275 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,740 Oh, whoa! Hey, hey, hey! What's up? 276 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,577 Hey, I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't see you back there. 277 00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,776 That's my associate, Bob. Actually, he's my brother. 278 00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,045 He's a simple... 279 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,279 I'm his brother, too. 280 00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,480 He used to play in the dryer. We turned it on once. 281 00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:05,318 (IMITATES THUMPING) (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) 282 00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,648 Whoa, whoa! 283 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,920 KISHA: Hey, yo, you better back up! 284 00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:08,982 What's the problem? 285 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,528 We're here to install cameras. 286 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,188 Yeah. Not to be filmed on camera. 287 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,526 'Cause I'm doing my own reality show. 288 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,839 Well, I'm not signing anything. 289 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,697 And I can't write. He can't write. 290 00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,133 Blur this out. 291 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,304 Mosaic. Okay. 292 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:21,868 KISHA: What is he doing? 293 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,632 Is the owner home? 294 00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,308 You're talking to him. 295 00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,311 (SNICKERING) Yeah, right! 296 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,403 KISHA: Wow. 297 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,745 Oh. Wow. Okay. 298 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,016 All right. Now, that camera covers your entire backyard. 299 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,280 It's cool. 300 00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,513 Let's say you and the missus are having a pool party, right? 301 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,523 You know, you're grilling up some fried chicken, 302 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,459 probably some ribs. 303 00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,820 Hot wings, some pig knuckle, 304 00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,228 strimps. 305 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,532 You know, maybe some corn bread. 306 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,460 I'd say watermelon, but that might be racist, right? 307 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,436 Corn bread was pretty close. 308 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:57,304 Not really. Country folks eat corn bread. 309 00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,069 Can I say it? 310 00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,068 You talking about the "N" word? Yeah. 311 00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,478 No. It's not appropriate. 312 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,572 (QUIETLY) I see. 313 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,043 Are you... Is he serious? 314 00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,016 You can call me a cracker. 315 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,420 I don't want to. I just want... 316 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,648 Let me say it. 317 00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:11,747 (SIGHS) 318 00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:15,225 If you say it, I'm going to punch you in your face. 319 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,689 Anyway... Wow. 320 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,528 Maybe later things get a little freaky. 321 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,092 You and the old lady in the 'cuzzi, buck naked, right? 322 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,298 Little Black Mamba's ready to strike. 323 00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,874 That camera will catch all of it. 324 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,876 Nice! So, all you gotta do, go upstairs, 325 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:35,573 clickity-clack on the computer, beat off to the highlights. 326 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,172 Yeah. 327 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,978 Holler! 328 00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,985 Holler! 329 00:13:41,086 --> 00:13:42,451 (SIGHS) 330 00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:43,886 Do it. No. 331 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,423 Holler! 332 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,425 Are you really gonna make me do this here? 333 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,482 Camera Guys. 334 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,653 BOTH: Holler! 335 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,225 Got you all tied in. Mm-hmm. 336 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,630 Uh, just hit the space bar, the mouse, you flash from the kitchen. 337 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,725 Mm-hmm? 338 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,791 Entryway. 339 00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,565 Backyard. Living room. 340 00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,499 I even tied in the webcam. Nice. 341 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,370 Yeah. Oh, I like that. That's cool. 342 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,938 Here's something you wanna think about. 343 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,478 You can remote access these things from wherever you are. 344 00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,447 I can set that up if you want. Just give me your pass code. 345 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,450 No. Not gonna happen. 346 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,985 Good choice. Nice try. 347 00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,782 But you could set that up if you want to. 348 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,254 You're out of town on a business trip, 349 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,551 you might wanna check up on the missus, 350 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,851 make sure she's safe. 351 00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,187 Right. 352 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,851 Or whatever she's doing! Yeah. 353 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,828 You know, girls, they like to have 354 00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,661 a girls' time when you're out of town. 355 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,859 And why wouldn't they, you know? 356 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,526 You don't expect things like... 357 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,867 You know, she's spread eagle on the floor, banging the mailman. 358 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,635 "Special delivery!" 359 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,040 Not on our bed! 360 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,702 (SOBS) You dirty bird! 361 00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,508 In front of the dog! Is he serious? 362 00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,742 Oh, the dog's so upset! 363 00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,784 I mean, you know, 364 00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,650 you're at a security convention in Albuquerque 365 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,350 screaming at the top of your lungs at a Quality Inn! 366 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,016 BOB: I remember Albuquerque. 367 00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,926 You can't scratch your way through the camera! 368 00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,827 Kinda reminds me, I gotta mail out some bills 369 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,020 before the end of the month. 370 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,293 Uh, it's okay, man. It's okay. 371 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,667 Bobby, you better not be recording. 372 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,391 Uh, Bobby? Yeah, I got the whole thing. 373 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:08,428 Don't do this shit in my house. 374 00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:09,665 (LOUD CRYING) 375 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,575 It's okay. Okay. All right. I understand. 376 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,669 (CRYING CONTINUES) Okay. 377 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,021 Why are you installing all these security cameras anyway? 378 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,409 Uh, we may have a burglar. 379 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,542 Or a ghost. 380 00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,778 A burglar. Ghost. 381 00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,979 Burglar. Ghost! 382 00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,614 Well, it just so happens I have my own ghost hunter reality show. 383 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,647 Do you wanna know what it's called? 384 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,521 I got one, too. 385 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,322 Wild guess, American Ghost? 386 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,986 (IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong! Ghost Guys. 387 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,120 Oh! 388 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,960 It is trademarked, so don't get any funny ideas. 389 00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,864 I definitely won't. All right. See ya. 390 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,060 Yeah! You know they're shooting porn in there. 391 00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,001 Really? No way he owns it. 392 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,369 KISHA: Malcolm, what is that? 393 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,841 Well, I paid those camera guys all this money 394 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,574 and they left a big-ass blind spot inside the hallway. 395 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:54,446 So you decided to break my fan and rig up this ridiculous camera? 396 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,879 Yep. 397 00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,485 Call me "Nigyver." 398 00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,615 Wow. 399 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,588 Cool. All right, baby. Come on. 400 00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,426 All right. All right. 401 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,758 KISHA: I'm so hungry. MALCOLM: Me, too. Starving. 402 00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,630 Okay, Rosa. We're leaving. 403 00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,601 Buenas tardes, senores. Okay. 404 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,636 (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) 405 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,677 ROSA: It's crazy, right? (CHUCKLING) 406 00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,888 These stupid motherfuckers don't think I speak English! 407 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,892 (LAUGHS) Hmm. 408 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,428 Yo, I got a nice pool. You want to come on down? 409 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,290 Yeah, we got a Jacuzzi. 410 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,104 Que pasa? 411 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,939 (WOMAN SHRIEKS) (ROSA SPEAKS SPANISH) 412 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,071 Ay, Dios mio! (GUNSHOT) 413 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:02,985 (SHOUTING IN SPANISH) 414 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,181 Whoo! ¡Dios mio! 415 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,952 Whoo! (SPEAKING SPANISH) 416 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,517 (SQUEALS) 417 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,287 Hey, Rosa. We're back. 418 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,455 Hola! 419 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,199 Ah! (SPEAKING SPANISH) 420 00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,102 Si! Yo tambien. 421 00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,698 MALCOLM: I don't know what you saying. 422 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,299 ROSA: Mm-hmm! 423 00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,781 MALCOLM: Baby! KISHA: What? 424 00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,338 Look at how she's swimming. 425 00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,145 Hey, Steve. Steve, look. Check this out. 426 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,242 Black girl don't like getting her hair wet. 427 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,451 Hey, hey, hey! Malcolm, cut that shit out! 428 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,996 (MALCOLM, STEVE LAUGHING) Just got my hair did. You know that. 429 00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,148 Don't play with me. 430 00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,386 STEVE: You're looking good over there, baby. 431 00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,951 Hey, show us your tits. What? 432 00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,155 Show us your tits! 433 00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,724 (SHRIEKS) Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no! 434 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,131 I knew she would do it. 435 00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,828 (SHRIEKING) 436 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,160 You like that? 437 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,499 No, no. That was awkward. 438 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,971 Oh, yeah? But did you like it a little bit? 439 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,302 They're cockeyed. 440 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,536 Yeah, I know. One's bigger than the other one. 441 00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,924 That way you can have a favorite. 442 00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,502 Baby? 443 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,811 KISHA: No! Whoo! (SHOUTS) 444 00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,851 Your head's gonna get pregnant! 445 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,181 Let's do reverse. 446 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,227 Wow, man, I am loving this camera of yours. 447 00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,352 This is really cool. 448 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,691 Thanks, man. Oh, boy. 449 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,562 I bet you're shooting all kinds of extracurricular activities with this camera. 450 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,691 Actually, I'm not. 451 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,757 You aren't? 452 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,029 None. You're not? 453 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,038 You know, ever since Kisha moved in, 454 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,664 I haven't seen no parts of the vagina. 455 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,769 No! It's like she moved in, 456 00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,435 and her vagina moved out the same day. 457 00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,944 You gotta be kidding me! Yeah. 458 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,445 That makes me angry. 459 00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:36,845 Not as angry as it makes my penis. 460 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,110 Well, I am angry for your penis. 461 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,515 Mr. Happy is not so happy. 462 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,018 Oh, that's infuriating. 463 00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,247 Yeah, man. Yeah, man. 464 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,880 It makes me very upset to hear that. 465 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,185 But you know, there is something you can do 466 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,451 to spice it up if you want to. 467 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,448 Really? Oh, yeah. 468 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,619 What? 469 00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,219 Well, you know how, like, 470 00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,025 if you get tired of driving your car, 471 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,565 you might test-drive a new car? 472 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,622 Mm-hmm. 473 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,258 Maybe you would even let somebody else 474 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,736 drive your car for a little while, you know? 475 00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,830 Get a whole new appreciation of your vehicle when you do that. 476 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,303 Are you talking about swapping girlfriends? 477 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,744 What? No! (SCOFFS) Excuse me? 478 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,007 (LAUGH) Oh, wow! 479 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,262 I don't know where you were goin' with that! Oh, wow! 480 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,543 I was talking about cars! 481 00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:14,677 My bad. 482 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,852 You would never do it? 483 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,822 I would absolutely never do it. 484 00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,358 Me neither. Me neither. 485 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,427 What kind of pervert does that? 486 00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,621 That's what you would have to be. 487 00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,254 It takes a pervert to swap girlfriends. 488 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,560 You never have done it, and you never would, huh? 489 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,658 No, Steve. 490 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,465 Even if you got drunk enough or something like that? 491 00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,369 Like, you might have a few too many drinks and say, 492 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,639 "Why not? Let's give it a try," 493 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,132 if there was a couple that was into it. 494 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,574 No. No. Yeah, me neither. 495 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,634 That's how I feel. 496 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,078 But even, like, maybe if you got a little high, 497 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,945 maybe on a Saturday night or something like that, 498 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,348 and you were like... 499 00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,510 (STAMMERS) Even then. 500 00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,111 Yeah. Like, even if this couple was, like, 501 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,180 up for anything and raring to go, 502 00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,284 and she was hot to trot, like, a hot, hot lady. 503 00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,591 It wouldn't matter. You wouldn't do it, right? 504 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,962 Nigger, no. 505 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,627 Same here. We're in agreement. 506 00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,364 It's crazy to swap girlfriends like that. 507 00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,463 I am with you 100%. 508 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,072 Steve, want a beer? 509 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,270 Thank you very much. 510 00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,007 Hey, babe, did you tell Steve we have a ghost? 511 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,138 We don't have a ghost. A ghost? 512 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,774 Yeah. Awesome. 513 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:19,942 I think it'd be cool to have a ghost. 514 00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,007 MALCOLM: We don't have a ghost. 515 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,279 No, Jenny, it's not cool. 516 00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,446 We don't have a ghost. 517 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,547 You thought it was cool in college. 518 00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,284 We did a seance and everything! 519 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,224 A seance? Oh, yeah. That's right. 520 00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,317 You did a seance? 521 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,885 Yes. Honey, it's college. 522 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,118 You do a lot of silly stuff. 523 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,189 Yeah. 524 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,290 Like that time we got drunk and made out. 525 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,461 (STEVE LAUGHS) Oh, it's all hazy. 526 00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,731 You know, college, it's like a big fog. 527 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,396 MALCOLM: We're gonna talk about these college days. 528 00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,495 Yeah, yeah. 529 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,701 A hazy, sexy fog, it sounds like. 530 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,335 Wouldn't it be great if we all spent the night? Together? 531 00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,470 Well, that's an interesting idea. 532 00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,741 What do you think of that, Malcolm? 533 00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,543 A naked sleepover? MALCOLM: No. 534 00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,878 No? It's weird. 535 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,350 Yeah, but it's definitely gonna be weird. 536 00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,887 But are you saying weird good or weird bad? 537 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,149 Weird bad, Steve. 538 00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,349 Okay. 539 00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,549 All right, you guys. It's been real. 540 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,527 Listen, I know a great psychic if you need one. 541 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,620 Okay. 542 00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,891 He told me I'd be surrounded 543 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,594 by big, black spirits in my near future. 544 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:12,863 Vaginas crossed. 545 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,372 MALCOLM: Yeah, okay. Right? Goodbye! 546 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,168 (LAUGHS) Well. 547 00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,403 Listen, before we go, I just wanna talk to you about something, 548 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,910 'cause Jenny's got a birthday coming up. 549 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,002 Okay. 550 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,775 I wanna do something real special for her, you know. 551 00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:26,043 I was thinking maybe you could invite a couple of guys over, 552 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,710 Like your cousin Ray-Ray, maybe? 553 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,878 And some of those big, black guys 554 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,444 that he hangs out with, you know? 555 00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,887 Jamal, and Hakim, and Anforny, you know? 556 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,927 Just the six of us, right? We'll have some fun. 557 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,019 We'll double stuff the Oreo a little bit, huh? 558 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,796 Dirty up the white snow? 559 00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,365 Black poles, white holes. 560 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,266 You know, maybe all pile on the little white rabbit, right, you know? 561 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,599 Are you talking about a mandingo party? 562 00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,468 What? A what? 563 00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,302 Excuse me! 564 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,572 I mean, I'm really, uh, not into that. But if you're into that... 565 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,771 Um, I'm... 566 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,438 Well, we might be able to work something out 567 00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,537 if that's what you're into. 568 00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,277 Hey, buddy, I mean... Okay, bye, Steve. 569 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,508 Oh! 570 00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,177 MALCOLM: Oh, wow. 571 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,411 That's beautiful. Okay, Jenny. 572 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,512 All right. Goodbye. 573 00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:05,988 Okay, honey, come on. Come on, honey, come in. 574 00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,820 You're lucky. 575 00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:09,257 She is luckier. 576 00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,989 Bye, guys. Bye! All right. 577 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,964 (LAUGHS) Okay. All right. 578 00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,991 KISHA: I think Jenny and Steve are swingers. 579 00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,592 MALCOLM: You think? Wow. 580 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,262 This looks like a ghetto Rite Aid. 581 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,567 Wrong Aid. 582 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,904 Oh, shit! Did somebody shave a yeti? 583 00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,840 KISHA: Very funny. I shaved my legs. 584 00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,572 With what, a weed whacker? 585 00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,080 Wow. That's like Apollo Creed's chest hairs. 586 00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:31,172 That is crazy. 587 00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,047 Oh! Hey! Malcolm, come on! 588 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,485 Dude, turn that off. Get out of here. 589 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,078 You got to close this. Stop it! 590 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,680 I'm claustrophobic, okay? 591 00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,315 Yeah? Well, I'm ass-trophobic. 592 00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,916 You know what, Malcolm? What? 593 00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,519 Love it or leave it, okay? Here. Here. 594 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,324 (LOUD GROANING) Take it, okay? 595 00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,898 It's oak-y. (MALCOLM LAUGHING) 596 00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,094 It's... It's full-bodied. 597 00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,961 I believe it's open. 598 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,130 Oh, that's... That's nasty! 599 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,673 Mmm. The aroma. 600 00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:56,866 The nastiest thing ever. 601 00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,102 No, Malcolm! Malcolm! 602 00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,643 Hey! No! 603 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,372 Move your little nasty foot. Stop it! 604 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,411 Ow! Ow! Malcolm! 605 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,375 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 606 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,655 Uh, Malcolm. Malcolm? Hmm? 607 00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,166 The camera isn't off. 608 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,328 Yeah, the camera's off. What are you talkin' about? 609 00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,530 The light is on. 610 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,697 That's the standby light. 611 00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,671 That's the record light. 612 00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,902 I don't want to be like those stupid girls. 613 00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,309 Kim Kardashian with a sex tape. 614 00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:37,075 First of all, Kim Kardashian's worth $150 million. 615 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,509 Think about it, Kisha. You could have your own reality show. 616 00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:42,213 You could have your own clothing line, your own perfume. 617 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,880 "Stank," by Kisha. 618 00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,150 No. 619 00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,658 Your window of opportunity is closing quickly. 620 00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:49,921 Turn it off. 621 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:51,121 Oh, God, you are a hater. 622 00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:52,561 I'm not. 623 00:23:57,235 --> 00:24:00,398 Malcolm. You ain't slick. That camera's still on. 624 00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,530 What? (MIMICS) "What?" 625 00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,106 (GRUNTS) That's cheap. 626 00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:07,068 (VIDEOTAPE FAST-FORWARDING) 627 00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:09,739 (YELPS) Whoo! Whoo! 628 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,872 (GRUNTS) Don't touch it. 629 00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,508 Don't touch it. That was crazy. 630 00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:14,711 Oh, I got a cramp. 631 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,220 I told you we should have recorded that. 632 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,223 I don't think they make 30-second tapes. 633 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,421 Oh, come on. That was at least two minutes, 15, 16 seconds. 634 00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,018 Whoo! That was great. 635 00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,859 Malcolm, you know we have to go again, right? 636 00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:30,231 (GRUNTS) I need a halftime. You gotta talk to the coach. 637 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,599 Get some new plays. 638 00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:34,093 (SNORING) 639 00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,908 Wake up. Okay, okay. 640 00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,999 Come on now. 641 00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,202 Okay, okay. 642 00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:40,904 Woody's sore. Mmm. 643 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:44,973 Yeah. 644 00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,142 Good morning, honey. 645 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,982 Hi, baby. Mwah. 646 00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:51,112 (GRUNTING) 647 00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:53,749 Malcolm, I told you to turn the camera off! 648 00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,784 I know. I'm shit. 649 00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,420 But, baby, I was tearin' it up last night. (WHOOPS) 650 00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,698 Oh, please. You were all right. 651 00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,060 Baby, check this move. Look at that. 652 00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,653 Malcolm, I need you to erase this tape. 653 00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,566 I don't wanna end up on the Internet. 654 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:06,899 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 655 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,269 Rewind the video. 656 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,602 Okay. 657 00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,608 Did you see that? Uh-huh. 658 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,997 See, I call that move the Tornado. 659 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,406 No, stupid! 660 00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,642 Look! The door, it moved. You see? 661 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,046 MALCOLM: Oh, wow. 662 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,384 Well, there is a rational explanation for all that. 663 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,649 See, what happens is, with the Tornado, right, 664 00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:27,452 the vortex in which I move my hips, 665 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,084 especially with a downward motion, 666 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,923 it creates that vortex. 667 00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:32,293 I'm surprised the windows didn't blow open. 668 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,195 You are stupid. Sometimes it does that. 669 00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:37,062 See, I'm working on a whole natural disaster theme for me and you. 670 00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,300 We gonna start with the Mudslide tonight. 671 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,498 Or the Earthquake. Earthquake is crazy! 672 00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:45,064 'Cause I just get in and I shake up in there, fast as I can. I just shake. 673 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,978 (RUMBLING) 674 00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:56,443 (SHATTERS) (SCREAMS) 675 00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:57,920 Malcolm! 676 00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:59,070 Malcolm, come here, please! 677 00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,490 Quick! What happened? What happened? 678 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,388 Okay, so the glass was on the counter, and then it... 679 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,724 Something knocked it off! 680 00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,196 How do you explain that? 681 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,728 Well, maybe you put it on the edge of the counter, 682 00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:10,825 and it just slipped off. 683 00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:14,365 Last night, it was the door, Malcolm. 684 00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:17,669 And then, this morning, the pot was on the floor. 685 00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,002 Maybe it wasn't put on the rack properly. 686 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,842 All right, I'll take credit for that. Lord knows you don't cook. 687 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,541 Oh, I love you, but stop. Be careful. 688 00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:25,741 You're gonna get glass in your foot 689 00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,079 and be trackin' blood all through the house 690 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,585 Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. 691 00:26:30,455 --> 00:26:32,286 (GROANS) 692 00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,882 Do you believe me now, Malcolm? Hmm? 693 00:26:34,993 --> 00:26:38,554 Maybe it was your vortex. 694 00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:39,960 Oh, God. 695 00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:46,260 (RUMBLING) 696 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:48,262 (VOICE SHRIEKING) 697 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,530 (GASPS) 698 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,411 Did you hear that? 699 00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:56,036 Nope. What? 700 00:26:56,381 --> 00:26:58,906 (LOUD RATTLING) 701 00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:00,348 What about that? 702 00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,249 That was just the house settling. 703 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:03,844 No big thing. Just go back to sleep. 704 00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,890 Go back to sleep? (SCREAMING) 705 00:27:07,292 --> 00:27:08,850 (MALCOLM SCREAMING, WHIMPERING) 706 00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,861 The wind? What? 707 00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,090 Negro, the windows are closed! 708 00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,998 (SCREAMING) Oh, hell, no! I'm out! 709 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,159 What? Malcolm! 710 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:18,997 (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING) 711 00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,128 Malcolm! 712 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:24,538 (HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING CONTINUES) 713 00:27:25,944 --> 00:27:28,378 (SCREAMING GROWS DISTANT) 714 00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:31,579 (DOOR SLAMS) Really? 715 00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,508 Oh, hell, no. 716 00:27:33,585 --> 00:27:36,145 Malcolm, what are you doing? 717 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,247 Bitch, there is a ghost in the house. I'm out. 718 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,416 You can't leave. 719 00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,516 You watch me. 720 00:27:41,593 --> 00:27:42,958 (ENGINE STARTS) 721 00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,186 Deuces. 722 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,692 Malcolm! 723 00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,470 You all right? Who am I kidding? 724 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,169 I can't sell a house in this market. 725 00:27:58,109 --> 00:27:59,542 "Immediate possession." 726 00:27:59,678 --> 00:28:00,736 (HYSTERICAL LAUGHING) 727 00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,107 It's already possessed! 728 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,987 Hi, Chip. I'm Kisha. Hi. 729 00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,521 Hi, I'm Chip the Psychic. 730 00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:12,613 Come on in. 731 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,682 Nice. Nice. 732 00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,118 Oh! 733 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,825 And you... You must be Malcolm. 734 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,297 Mmm, yeah. That's pretty good. How did you know? 735 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,393 Uh, psychic. 736 00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,664 (LAUGHS) See? 737 00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:29,331 I have a lot of powers all over my body. 738 00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:32,035 Do you... You play basketball, probably, a little bit, right? 739 00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,701 No, not really. You don't? 740 00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,473 No. Well, you got the body for it. 741 00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,776 You're lucky. 742 00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:39,282 You're a lucky, lucky lady. 743 00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,812 I'm gonna ask you some questions. 744 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,014 You know, nothing cray. Just real simple stuff. 745 00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:46,613 Okay, how long have you guys been together? 746 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,715 Two years. Yes. 747 00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:49,521 Okay, Malcolm, are you happy? Yes. 748 00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:50,907 Do you like living with her? Yes. 749 00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:52,462 Have you been with a man? No. 750 00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:54,191 Did you have a good Halloween? Yes. 751 00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:55,664 Did you have a good Christmas? Yes. 752 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,031 Do you like movies? Yeah. 753 00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:58,126 Have you been with a man? 754 00:28:58,203 --> 00:28:59,602 Yeah... No. What? No! 755 00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,138 Did you have a good Easter? Yes. 756 00:29:01,206 --> 00:29:02,571 Do you like booze? Yes. 757 00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,073 Do you eat food every day? Yes. 758 00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:05,175 Have you been with a man? 759 00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,301 Yes. No, no! 760 00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:07,810 I've never been with a man. 761 00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,904 Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I'm just trying to get to know you. 762 00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,211 I've never been with a man. I've never been with a man. 763 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,080 I've never been with a man. Would you stop being so... 764 00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:15,225 I've never been with a man! 765 00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,242 Okay! 766 00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:17,721 You don't have to be loud and angry. 767 00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:18,870 I've never been with a man! 768 00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,414 He keeps asking me if I've been with a man! 769 00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:21,606 I've never been with a man! 770 00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:22,615 Okay. 771 00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,355 I'm trying to get to know you. Have you been with a man? 772 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,736 I sleep on this side of the bed. 773 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:26,753 Right. 774 00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,662 She sleeps there. Ick. 775 00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,327 And, you know, we keep the camera right there. 776 00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:34,735 And one night, we saw the door kind of just, like... 777 00:29:34,839 --> 00:29:35,863 (IMITATES DOOR CREAKING) 778 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,033 Oh, wow. So there was some paranormal over there. 779 00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,872 No, she thinks it's paranormal, 780 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,037 and I think it's 'cause of the Tornado. 781 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,740 'Cause I created a vortex. 782 00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,407 What does that mean? 783 00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,348 We was havin' sex, and I was hittin' it. 784 00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:48,715 I was like... (GROWLING) 785 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,955 I was doing this round, and I think the... 786 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,115 Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey. 787 00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:56,159 Hey, you okay? Yeah, sorry. 788 00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,216 You all right? 789 00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,319 I got light-headed there for a second. 790 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,023 Okay. All right. Yeah, no, I'm good. 791 00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:02,692 Check out the door. You know what? 792 00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:04,167 There is some dark energy over here. 793 00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,224 Really? 794 00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,203 Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. 795 00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,570 MALCOLM: I didn't even... Oh! 796 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,699 We got a ghost. 797 00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:11,799 Oh, my God, it's got me! 798 00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,538 It's got me! (SCREAMS) It's got me! 799 00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:16,477 It's got me! Help! Help! 800 00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:18,572 Hey, man! Get off of me! 801 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,551 Oh, man! Get off of me. 802 00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,587 What are you doing? 803 00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,623 I don't know what just happened. 804 00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:26,815 That was so scary. 805 00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,817 Okay, you guys. This is a simple channeling exercise. 806 00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:31,293 Okay. 807 00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,455 This is creepy. Shh. 808 00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:36,557 All right, Kisha, now just breathe. Relax. 809 00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:38,966 Do you feel anything? 810 00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:40,560 No, not really. 811 00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,629 What about you, Malcolm? 812 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,566 Just your dick in my back. 813 00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,002 Well, that's a start. 814 00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:53,079 Now, there are two kinds of paranormal entities. 815 00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:56,245 I specialize in the good ones. 816 00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,755 Okay, yeah, like Casper the Friendly Ghost. 817 00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:01,188 Oh! Yeah, he's fun. 818 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,625 And also Patrick Swayze from Ghost. 819 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,458 (GASPS) I love that movie. 820 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,623 Yes, that one was really moving. 821 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,224 Especially with the clay, and he'd work the clay and just... 822 00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,733 (SPITS) And he just fuckin' has it, and... 823 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:16,305 Demons, though, are bad. 824 00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,532 Those are pure, pure, pure evil. 825 00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:22,841 And they will pop up at the worst possible times. 826 00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,938 You know, like herpes. 827 00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,650 What? 828 00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,313 What are you looking at me for? 829 00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:36,286 All I'm saying is, do not aggravate a demon. 830 00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:37,794 Do not try to contact them, 831 00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:41,195 and whatever you do, do not film them. 832 00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:42,763 That will only make things worse. 833 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,995 See? Don't film demons. 834 00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:46,866 Very bad. Okay. 835 00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:49,905 Well, thanks a lot for coming out, man. 836 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:51,809 Is there anything you wanna get off your chest? 837 00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,003 No, I'm good. 838 00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:54,635 Is there anything you want to put on my chest? 839 00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:56,179 Huh? Wait'll you see the clay scene. 840 00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,544 Wait, wait. Uh... 841 00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:00,649 I have a confession to make. 842 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,185 Yep, herpes! I knew it. 843 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,686 Oh! Ick! No, I don't! 844 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:08,015 But did I mention that I made a deal with the devil 845 00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,060 for a pair of really cool Louboutins? 846 00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,891 You made a deal with the devil for a pair of shoes? 847 00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:15,932 Not shoes, Malcolm! Louboutins, okay? 848 00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:19,333 They've got red soles, and they make my calves pop! 849 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:21,338 (GROWLS) 850 00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:23,840 Well, I really needed them, okay? 851 00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:28,140 You are screwed, sista, 852 00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:29,577 with an "A." 853 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:33,515 This demon is not leaving this house until it gets what it wants. 854 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,347 What's that? 855 00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,910 Kisha. 856 00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:39,788 You're fine, Malcolm. 857 00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:42,155 Like, you're free to be whoever you want. 858 00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,484 It's a five-man wrestling league. 859 00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:44,550 I'm good. 860 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,653 It's so fun. 861 00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:46,851 I bet it is. It's not for me. 862 00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,229 And everyone's really good. Really? 863 00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,561 Yeah, no, but it's competitive. 864 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,295 It's something that... 865 00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,534 Oh, my God. I'm getting mind powers. 866 00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:56,596 Okay. All right. I'm getting mind powers. 867 00:32:56,708 --> 00:33:02,237 (SIGHS) Malcolm, (GASPS) something is going to happen to you 868 00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,747 that is going to change you. 869 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,742 Don't fight it. 870 00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,258 Whatever it is, don't fight it, okay? 871 00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,310 Okay, I won't. I won't. I can save you. 872 00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,117 It's five guys. We wrestle on Monday. 873 00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,247 Okay. 874 00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,087 I can save you. No, thank you. 875 00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,649 (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Save you! 876 00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:17,785 God. 877 00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:19,386 I think that went well. 878 00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,261 We need to talk. 879 00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,094 A demon, Kisha? 880 00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,626 I'm sorry, Malcolm. 881 00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,261 Why... Why didn't you tell me this, like, on the first date? 882 00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,431 Because you never would have gone out with me again. 883 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,168 Exactly! 884 00:33:31,642 --> 00:33:34,076 How long has this been happening to you? 885 00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:35,806 Since I was a little kid. 886 00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,972 What the shit is this? 887 00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,403 MALCOLM: And you say I tape everything. 888 00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:42,445 Mm. Mm-mm-mm. 889 00:33:45,123 --> 00:33:46,317 (BLOWS) 890 00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:53,393 Happy birthday, Kisha. Mama loves you. 891 00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:55,992 Ooh! To think you almost didn't make it. 892 00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,035 But good thing that clinic was closed. 893 00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:00,501 Ooh! God is good all the time. 894 00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:03,502 You are eight years old. Enjoy your birthday. 895 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,541 Sooner or later, you're gonna come home from school one day. 896 00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,164 "Where's stepdaddy? Where's stepdaddy?" 897 00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,180 And I'm gonna be gone. 898 00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,049 Happy birthday, Kisha. Make a wish. 899 00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:15,312 Sit right there. All right. 900 00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,410 Happy birthday to me. 901 00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:19,081 I wish Tony can stay with me forever. 902 00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,383 Who is Tony? 903 00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,186 Who is Tony, baby? He's my friend. 904 00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:23,581 If you have friends, they'd all be 905 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,425 gathered around here drinking beer, 906 00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,088 smoking cigarettes, having a good time, 907 00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:28,597 gambling, playing cards and stuff. 908 00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,893 She talking about her invisible friend. 909 00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:31,332 I guess we should be nice about it. 910 00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:33,233 You gonna blow it out? Or you just gonna look at us crazy? 911 00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:34,837 Dang. She ain't all there. 912 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,032 Why is she looking at me like that? 913 00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:38,075 Lookin' all crazy. You crazy. 914 00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,509 Look, look, look, look, look. She got a lazy eye. 915 00:34:41,612 --> 00:34:42,636 (LAUGHING) 916 00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:43,753 Blow them damn candles out. 917 00:34:43,781 --> 00:34:45,442 Blow 'em out. I wanna get her blowing out the candles. 918 00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:47,518 I know what I'm doing, woman. Do not yell at me. 919 00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,950 Blow out the candles, baby. 920 00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:51,180 (RUMBLING) Tony, no! 921 00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,117 You wanna throw cake on my brand-new Betamax? 922 00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,194 You must be crazy! 923 00:34:57,628 --> 00:34:59,152 Ow! It wasn't me. It was Tony. 924 00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,357 I'm-a beat the Tony out of you then. 925 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,594 Ah, ah, ah. Lamar, not so hard. 926 00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,794 You're gonna break your new belt. 927 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:05,926 This is how you beat a stepchild. 928 00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:07,527 I won't beat my own kids like this. 929 00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:09,264 (GRUNTS) I know that's right. 930 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,412 Anything else you wanna tell me? 931 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:19,809 Well, 932 00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,345 about the herpes. 933 00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:24,251 Baby, what are you doing? Huh? 934 00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:27,120 Oh, nothing. I'm just... Just cleaning, that's all. 935 00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,056 You ever get that not-so-fresh feeling? 936 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,218 Seriously, Malcolm? 937 00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:32,626 Seriously, we're gonna have to talk about your lies. 938 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,723 Oh, that's fizzing. It's fizzing. 939 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:36,058 It's herpes, Kisha. 940 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,932 This ain't a cold sore, Kisha. This is the real thing. 941 00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,234 Ah! You did this to me. 942 00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,241 Get a match! Get the goddamn match! 943 00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,637 (SCREAMS) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 944 00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:51,180 That hurt. Whoa! 945 00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:58,451 (RUMBLING) 946 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:21,808 (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 947 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:43,733 (MUSIC STOPS) 948 00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,997 What the hell? 949 00:36:51,175 --> 00:36:52,403 What happened? 950 00:36:53,511 --> 00:36:55,479 (GRUNTS) Did... 951 00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,411 What'd you slap me for? 952 00:36:57,515 --> 00:36:59,005 Was I snoring? 953 00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,577 Kisha! 954 00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,312 Kisha! 955 00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:04,979 The hell? 956 00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,050 Kisha. 957 00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:08,916 Kisha. 958 00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:10,516 What the hell? 959 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:12,151 Kisha. 960 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,428 Oh, shit! Kisha, what the... 961 00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:18,735 Kisha, what are you doing? 962 00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:22,261 What? Oh, that is gross. 963 00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,765 Wait! No, baby, that milk is three weeks old. 964 00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:29,775 (GROANS) Oh! Baby. Baby, what are you doing? 965 00:37:32,283 --> 00:37:35,548 I'll run to the store. We're out of milk. 966 00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:37,860 I'll be right back. No, no, you... No, no. 967 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:39,184 Give me that. (SCREAMS) 968 00:37:39,657 --> 00:37:41,284 (LAUGHING) 969 00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,015 Honey, honey. 970 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,062 Where do you keep the Pepto? Oh, man. 971 00:37:45,129 --> 00:37:47,188 Where do you keep the Pepto? My stomach hurts. 972 00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:49,196 (SCREAMS) What are you doing? 973 00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,528 I'm looking at the tape from last night. 974 00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:52,694 (KISHA SOBBING) 975 00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,202 Honey, you make me feel good. 976 00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:57,070 Okay. Maybe some sleep will make you feel good. 977 00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:58,874 Oh, my God. 978 00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,378 I don't remember doing any of this. What am I doing? 979 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,812 Acting like a freak. This is crazy. 980 00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:06,912 Wait, look at this. Check this out. 981 00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,576 Something weird... Weird-weird-weird is going on. 982 00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:10,982 (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) 983 00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:14,251 Something weird is going on. 984 00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:16,759 Meow. Honey, you make me feel good. 985 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,589 (SCREAMS) Weird is going on. 986 00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:21,632 Weird is going on. Weird-weird-weird is going on. 987 00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:22,756 Whoo! 988 00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,834 Weird-weird-weird-weird is going on. 989 00:38:24,935 --> 00:38:27,426 I'm a scary ghost! 990 00:38:27,605 --> 00:38:29,300 (GRUNTS) 991 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:30,464 (SCREAMS) 992 00:38:30,741 --> 00:38:31,730 (GROANS) 993 00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,167 I can't breathe. 994 00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:35,238 (LAUGHS) Baby, you mad? 995 00:38:35,546 --> 00:38:36,535 Baby. 996 00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:38,480 (LAUGHS) 997 00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,278 Malcolm! 998 00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,675 It's not a joke! 999 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:46,086 Come on. I'm just trying to make light of a bad situation. 1000 00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,250 Bad situation? So, what, now you're referring 1001 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,294 to my moving in as a bad situation? 1002 00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:52,795 I didn't have a demon in my house till you moved in. 1003 00:38:52,863 --> 00:38:55,491 What happened to, "You're living with me now. I'll protect you"? 1004 00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:57,692 From a burglar, not a ghost! 1005 00:38:58,135 --> 00:38:59,466 You know what? I ain't listening to this. 1006 00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:01,767 Where do you think you're going? 1007 00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,033 Out. 1008 00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:07,140 Oh, okay! So you're just gonna leave me here alone? 1009 00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,469 Malcolm! (DOOR CLOSES) 1010 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,054 (LOUD CLANGING) (GASPS) 1011 00:39:23,127 --> 00:39:25,823 (HEAVY THUDDING) 1012 00:39:30,468 --> 00:39:32,026 (CLANGS) (SCREAMS) 1013 00:39:37,308 --> 00:39:38,639 (SHATTERING) (SCREAMS) 1014 00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:43,638 (GROWLING) 1015 00:39:47,818 --> 00:39:48,910 (KISHA SCREAMS) 1016 00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:49,975 Malcolm! 1017 00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,655 Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! 1018 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:52,746 What, what, what, what? 1019 00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:53,812 Look at this! 1020 00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,254 Oh, wow. What the... 1021 00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,922 KISHA: Oh, Daddy! 1022 00:39:59,497 --> 00:40:00,828 (WHIMPERS) 1023 00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:02,527 Malcolm! 1024 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,834 Oh, shit. 1025 00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:07,393 What kind of monster would do this? 1026 00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,497 Uh, uh, baby, you were right. 1027 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,004 Listen, there is an evil spirit in this house. 1028 00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,600 I believe you. I was so dumb. 1029 00:40:13,711 --> 00:40:14,837 I can't believe I didn't believe. 1030 00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,540 Oh, shit. I feel it. Oh, my God. It's right there. 1031 00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,105 You feel that? Feel it, feel it, feel it. 1032 00:40:19,216 --> 00:40:21,047 It's cold, right? Oh, my God! (GASPS) 1033 00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,678 Baby, we have to get rid of this menace once and for all. 1034 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,244 Ooh! The tape! We can watch the tape. 1035 00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,221 Wait, no! No, no, no. Don't watch the tape. 1036 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,622 Don't watch the tape. What? 1037 00:40:28,726 --> 00:40:30,921 Because it's just me and you against him. 1038 00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:34,862 You evil spirit! You leave this house alone! 1039 00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,259 Now! 1040 00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:38,534 You hear me? You get out! 1041 00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:40,229 Get out, demon. Get out! 1042 00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:41,862 Get out, get out, get out! 1043 00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:43,362 See, I believe you. No. 1044 00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,299 I need you to shut up once and for all. 1045 00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,276 Let's watch the tape. I am shutting up! God! 1046 00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,379 (GROANS) Mm-hmm. 1047 00:40:56,554 --> 00:40:57,714 (SUCKS TEETH) 1048 00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,312 Hi, Daddy. 1049 00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:02,626 You want to come in here and move in on my house? Huh? 1050 00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:06,986 You like haunting people, huh? I ain't scared of you. 1051 00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:08,121 Uh, baby? Um... 1052 00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:09,256 Fuck you, and fuck your daddy! 1053 00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:10,493 This is disturbing. You don't want to see it. 1054 00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,932 I will break your arm. 1055 00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,998 You wanna watch TV? 1056 00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:16,699 Wow! 1057 00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,037 (MOCK CRYING) Oh. Oh, my. 1058 00:41:21,245 --> 00:41:22,337 (GASPS) 1059 00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:23,879 See, that hurt. Lookee. 1060 00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,708 I got a boo-boo, baby, right... I don't care. 1061 00:41:26,183 --> 00:41:27,514 (GRUNTING) 1062 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,446 (PLOPS) (SIGHS) 1063 00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:31,645 Oh! 1064 00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:35,788 On my father's ashes! Really? 1065 00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:38,820 You think you the shit? I'll show you the shit. 1066 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,457 Nasty! That is so nasty. 1067 00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:42,521 I will... 1068 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,658 On the floor? Really? 1069 00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:46,429 So, what did you do, wipe your ass with the curtains? 1070 00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,699 Baby, you didn't like the curtains anyway. 1071 00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:54,300 You're an animal. We'll get new curtains. 1072 00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:55,504 It's just curtains. 1073 00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,138 I'd be an animal if I didn't wipe at all. Baby! 1074 00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,177 This isn't gonna prove any... Yes, it is! 1075 00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,877 I swear that I will listen to Kisha 1076 00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:07,151 whenever she says strange things are going on in the house. 1077 00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:08,549 And? 1078 00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:10,024 And... (SIGHS) 1079 00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:14,895 And I swear that I won't antagonize the ghost anymore. 1080 00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:17,490 Even though I didn't bring him in the house. 1081 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:18,893 And? 1082 00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:22,366 And I swear that Kisha is the prettiest 1083 00:42:22,473 --> 00:42:24,839 and the sexiest girl for never. 1084 00:42:26,143 --> 00:42:27,167 And? 1085 00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,269 And I promise I won't shit in your daddy's ashes. 1086 00:42:29,346 --> 00:42:30,370 Louder! 1087 00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:31,505 I promise I won't shit 1088 00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:34,346 on Kisha's daddy's ashes ever again. 1089 00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,416 Happy? Yes. 1090 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,181 Can I have my video game back now? No! 1091 00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,716 See, man? 1092 00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,418 Why are you putting powder on the floor? 1093 00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:47,395 See, the powder is gonna let me see his footprints. 1094 00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,893 And you think this is gonna work. 1095 00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,491 It did on Scooby-Doo. 1096 00:42:52,736 --> 00:42:54,567 (THUDDING) 1097 00:42:59,343 --> 00:43:01,709 (DOOR CREAKING, CLOSES) 1098 00:43:01,879 --> 00:43:03,540 Malcolm, did you hear that? 1099 00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:04,773 Mm-hmm. 1100 00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:07,679 Then why are you pretending to be asleep? 1101 00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:08,943 'Cause I know if I'm up, 1102 00:43:09,053 --> 00:43:10,042 you're gonna make me go check out 1103 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,281 where them scary-ass noises are coming from. 1104 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:14,691 (IMITATES SNORING) Get your black ass up. 1105 00:43:15,225 --> 00:43:16,522 See, man? 1106 00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,192 Kisha. 1107 00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:26,408 (WHISPERING) Camera. Get the camera. Get the camera. 1108 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,068 Whose plan was stupid now, Kisha? Hmm? 1109 00:43:32,309 --> 00:43:34,140 Pass me a bat. A bat? 1110 00:43:34,244 --> 00:43:35,565 You're gonna use a bat on a ghost? 1111 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,877 I'm sorry. I left my proton pack in the car. 1112 00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:38,937 Pass me the bat. 1113 00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:41,277 This ghost's got some ugly-ass feet. 1114 00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:42,613 Looks more like an alien. 1115 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,412 (THUDDING) 1116 00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,089 I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna do it. 1117 00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,985 I can't do it. I can't do it. What? 1118 00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:49,286 Malcolm! No, this... No. 1119 00:43:49,393 --> 00:43:50,655 This ain't what we do. 1120 00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:52,251 This is for white people. Will you grow some balls! 1121 00:43:52,329 --> 00:43:54,991 This is for white people. This ain't what niggers do. 1122 00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:57,761 We don't investigate. We run. We run, we live. 1123 00:43:57,835 --> 00:43:59,632 If we was in a movie theater, some black woman be screaming, 1124 00:43:59,737 --> 00:44:01,637 "Don't do it! Don't do it, boy!" 1125 00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,536 "He behind there. He in there." 1126 00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:06,075 If we know he's in there, why the fuck are we going in there? 1127 00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,334 Come on, baby. 1128 00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,276 (WHIMPERING) I don't want to do it. 1129 00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:11,246 Stop it. What if it bites me? 1130 00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,340 It's not a zombie. It's a ghost. 1131 00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:15,179 You wanna play? That's right! 1132 00:44:15,285 --> 00:44:17,276 You hurt my mother. You killed my mother. 1133 00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:18,616 That's right! 1134 00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:20,350 That's not helping. It's not helping none. 1135 00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,249 You got this. Go. (INHALES) 1136 00:44:22,626 --> 00:44:23,957 (SCREAMS) 1137 00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,655 You want some of this? This is how we... 1138 00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,823 Get him! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1139 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,491 Bust your... Whoop that ghost's ass! 1140 00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:31,625 Turn on the lights! Oh, my God! Rosa? 1141 00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:32,999 (GASPING) Rosa? Rosa! Rosa! 1142 00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,799 Si, senor! Que pasa? 1143 00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:37,102 Oh, my... I'm so sorry. I thought you... 1144 00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:39,938 I... I didn't know. I thought you was a ghost. 1145 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,477 (COUGHS) Ghost? KISHA: Or an alien. 1146 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,275 KISHA: I was talking about your feet, not your citizenship or lack thereof. 1147 00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,408 I quit. 1148 00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:48,883 See? Give me the camera! 1149 00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:50,010 Go fix this. 1150 00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:51,179 No! I'm not fixing nothing! 1151 00:44:51,288 --> 00:44:53,449 Oh, can't believe Rosa quit. 1152 00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,883 Yeah, well, you know, this is stressful on all of us. 1153 00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:01,525 I think I might have a little something to help alleviate 1154 00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:02,929 some of that stress. 1155 00:45:03,100 --> 00:45:04,294 (REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING) 1156 00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,199 Take it. You hit it. Yeah? 1157 00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:09,136 Now you gonna go spit up the end and shit. (COUGHS) 1158 00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:10,400 Hold it, hold it. 1159 00:45:11,809 --> 00:45:12,969 (BLOWS) 1160 00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:16,374 Damn! 1161 00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:19,374 Yay! Bravo. Encore, encore. 1162 00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,985 I see a face in the chip. 1163 00:45:22,252 --> 00:45:24,015 (GIGGLES) It's got a mustache. 1164 00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:25,316 You're not moving... Never get high. 1165 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,254 ...fast enough, Malcolm. Never get high 1166 00:45:27,324 --> 00:45:29,044 with people that don't know how to get high. 1167 00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:30,724 I'm baked. (INHALES) 1168 00:45:33,597 --> 00:45:36,225 (SPRINGS CREAKING) 1169 00:45:44,007 --> 00:45:46,669 (INHALES) 1170 00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:51,073 (COUGHS) 1171 00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,987 BOTH: Oh, shit. 1172 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,489 DISPATCHER: Los Angeles County, 911. 1173 00:46:04,561 --> 00:46:06,119 (DISPATCHER AND WOMAN CONVERSING) 1174 00:46:16,473 --> 00:46:18,441 My dick! 1175 00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,177 (DIAL TONE) He fell for it! 1176 00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:24,671 (CHILDLIKE VOICE) No, I don't want to. 1177 00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,544 Okay. Okay, I'll do it. 1178 00:46:33,924 --> 00:46:34,982 (COUGHS) 1179 00:46:35,058 --> 00:46:38,892 Yeah! That's a shotgun for your ass. Whoo-hoo-hoo! 1180 00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:41,954 (BOTH GASPING) 1181 00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:43,727 Is he gone? Oh, he's gone. 1182 00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:44,825 Wow! 1183 00:46:44,935 --> 00:46:46,630 That's that Criss Angel shit right there. 1184 00:46:46,737 --> 00:46:48,762 Yo, that ghost good. That ghost good. 1185 00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,306 That ghost good. That ghost good. 1186 00:46:50,407 --> 00:46:51,965 (SCREAMS) 1187 00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:56,677 Oh, my God. What? 1188 00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,078 That was awesome! 1189 00:46:58,148 --> 00:46:59,581 (BOTH WHOOPING) 1190 00:47:05,856 --> 00:47:08,154 (GROANS) Disgusting! 1191 00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:10,523 Malcolm, wake up. Mmm? 1192 00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,956 You peed the bed. 1193 00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,522 What? 1194 00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:16,793 You peed the bed. 1195 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,025 Oh, shit! Oh! 1196 00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:21,802 Oh, that's... 1197 00:47:21,872 --> 00:47:23,237 (KISHA LAUGHING) 1198 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,600 That's not funny. 1199 00:47:25,108 --> 00:47:26,803 (KISHA LAUGHING) Oh, that's fucked up. 1200 00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:28,968 That's real fucked up. 1201 00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:33,442 MALCOLM: Hey, Steve, thanks a lot for bringing the Ouija board over, man. 1202 00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:34,711 I really appreciate that. Oh, no worries, bro. 1203 00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:35,809 Hopefully... MALCOLM: Hey, baby. 1204 00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:36,875 Can you grab the wine? 1205 00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:40,445 Oh, hey, Kisha, the dinner was so amazing. 1206 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:44,790 The chicken was unbelievably tender and real juicy. 1207 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,092 Oh, well, actually, that was all Malcolm. 1208 00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,257 Was it now? I'll be damned. 1209 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:52,825 Well, thanks for letting me nibble on the leg because I love dark meat. 1210 00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:55,733 Mmm. Well, that is true. She eats it up. 1211 00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:57,740 MALCOLM: I bet she does. She eats it all up. 1212 00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,274 (HISSES) Yeah. 1213 00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,776 You guys are gonna love this wine. 1214 00:48:00,844 --> 00:48:02,539 It is a very robust red. 1215 00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,637 Yum. 1216 00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:05,545 Well, you know what they say. 1217 00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:07,879 "The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice." 1218 00:48:08,018 --> 00:48:09,212 Mm-hmm. 1219 00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:11,810 Okay, y'all need to cut this out. 1220 00:48:12,155 --> 00:48:14,020 Well, you know what? Normally, we don't have to chase this hard. 1221 00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,115 Mm-hmm. 1222 00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:16,523 Steve... Hmm? 1223 00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:19,084 I was talking about that stupid board. 1224 00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:20,990 Oh. KISHA: Oh. 1225 00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:23,394 MALCOLM: Baby, I just want to communicate with it. 1226 00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:24,558 (SIGHS) 1227 00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,127 Are you a ghost or a demon? 1228 00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,165 Who's doing that? Malcolm. Who's doing that? 1229 00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:34,141 I don't know. It's not me. I swear to God. 1230 00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,611 "G." 1231 00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,806 You guys. 1232 00:48:37,881 --> 00:48:39,576 "O." 1233 00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,690 Steve, are you pushing this? I'm not doing anything. 1234 00:48:41,718 --> 00:48:43,618 Oh, what? "S." 1235 00:48:43,687 --> 00:48:44,745 Go where... 1236 00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:47,118 "T." 1237 00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:50,983 A "gost?" What the hell is a "gost"? 1238 00:48:51,061 --> 00:48:53,291 Oh, maybe he's trying to spell "ghost." 1239 00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:55,058 Are you trying to spell "ghost"? 1240 00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:57,657 You're doing that? 1241 00:48:57,734 --> 00:48:59,031 No. I'm not moving it, I swear. 1242 00:49:01,138 --> 00:49:02,230 "Yes." 1243 00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,967 Wait. So, he just spelled "ghost" "gost." 1244 00:49:06,043 --> 00:49:07,340 (LAUGHS) 1245 00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:11,005 What kind of illiterate, bitch-ass ghost is this? 1246 00:49:11,081 --> 00:49:13,641 Please. Can you please use "gost" in a sentence? 1247 00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:15,514 Yeah, right. (LAUGHS) 1248 00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,018 Up yours, you stupid "gost." 1249 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,451 (LAUGHING) 1250 00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:19,849 He probably dyslexic, too. 1251 00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:22,187 He probably spells "boo," O-O-B. 1252 00:49:22,259 --> 00:49:23,749 Ooh! (RUMBLING) 1253 00:49:23,827 --> 00:49:25,488 Oh. Oh. 1254 00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:27,858 (JENNY SCREAMS) Whoa, whoa! 1255 00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:31,056 Somebody's sensitive. 1256 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,158 And stupid. 1257 00:49:32,402 --> 00:49:34,495 (LAUGHING) 1258 00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:38,012 You know what? I think we'll probably just show ourselves out. 1259 00:49:48,919 --> 00:49:50,682 (THUDS) 1260 00:49:50,754 --> 00:49:52,585 (BODY DRAGGING) 1261 00:50:04,434 --> 00:50:04,934 (MOANING) 1262 00:50:05,802 --> 00:50:06,996 (SLURPS) 1263 00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:08,263 Good morning, honey. 1264 00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:09,565 Good morning. Mmm. 1265 00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:12,565 Hey. (LAUGHS) 1266 00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:13,832 Mmm. 1267 00:50:13,944 --> 00:50:15,536 Well, all right. 1268 00:50:15,645 --> 00:50:21,845 (SIGHS) Baby, that is the best night's sleep I've had since I moved in. 1269 00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:24,386 Well, maybe because you made me sleep in the other room. 1270 00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,350 What are you talking about? 1271 00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:29,415 We had a breakthrough last night. 1272 00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,790 A breakthrough? Really? 1273 00:50:31,895 --> 00:50:33,453 Yes, Malcolm. 1274 00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:38,558 The way that you touched me, caressed me, made love to me. 1275 00:50:38,735 --> 00:50:40,498 (GRUNTS) 1276 00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:42,663 What are you talking about? 1277 00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:45,333 Malcolm, we had sex last night! 1278 00:50:45,409 --> 00:50:46,637 No, we didn't. 1279 00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:48,575 Yes, we did. For about two hours! 1280 00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:50,908 Uh, that definitely wasn't me. (SCOFFS) 1281 00:50:51,014 --> 00:50:52,845 Well, who else could it have been? 1282 00:50:55,952 --> 00:50:57,078 No, get off of me! 1283 00:50:58,422 --> 00:51:00,788 (COMPUTER TONE) (TYPING) 1284 00:51:05,228 --> 00:51:06,320 (MOANS) 1285 00:51:06,763 --> 00:51:09,061 (GASPS) Oh, my God. 1286 00:51:11,935 --> 00:51:15,393 Mmm. (SLURPING) 1287 00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:16,732 Mmm, Malcolm. 1288 00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:18,671 What? 1289 00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,334 KISHA: (ON COMPUTER) Ooh, that's new. 1290 00:51:20,444 --> 00:51:23,106 (LOUD MOANING) 1291 00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:26,044 Oh. Are you doing the alphabet? 1292 00:51:26,850 --> 00:51:28,909 Uh-uh, nigger, clean your plate. Come on. 1293 00:51:28,985 --> 00:51:30,009 (GHOST GURGLES) 1294 00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:33,386 Slob it down, slob it down. 1295 00:51:33,457 --> 00:51:35,687 Waterboarding your ass. (GRUNTS) 1296 00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:38,284 Mm, Malcolm. Did you grow? 1297 00:51:38,395 --> 00:51:39,521 (GROANS) 1298 00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,360 Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh! 1299 00:51:42,432 --> 00:51:43,626 (GASPING) 1300 00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:45,725 Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it! Oh, I've had it. 1301 00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:49,072 Oh, yeah! Dip it! Dip it down! 1302 00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:51,031 I can't watch. 1303 00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,370 Why don't I finish up... I can't watch anymore. 1304 00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:54,003 I just can't watch anymore. I'll finish. 1305 00:51:54,177 --> 00:51:56,338 (MOANING) 1306 00:51:56,646 --> 00:51:58,637 (DEMONIC MOANING) 1307 00:51:59,049 --> 00:52:01,483 (WHIMPERING) (MOANS) 1308 00:52:01,718 --> 00:52:03,413 KISHA: Uh-uh, you ain't done yet. 1309 00:52:03,487 --> 00:52:07,389 (LIQUID RUSHING) (KISHA SCREAMING) 1310 00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:11,350 (GASPS) (MOANING) 1311 00:52:11,461 --> 00:52:12,826 (LIQUID RUSHING CONTINUES) 1312 00:52:12,996 --> 00:52:15,430 I had no idea you was a squirter. 1313 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:19,128 Neither did I? 1314 00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,899 Hey. Don't touch me. 1315 00:52:24,074 --> 00:52:28,010 (GASPS) You seriously have an attitude with me right now? 1316 00:52:28,078 --> 00:52:29,807 You liked it. What? 1317 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,311 You heard me. You liked it. 1318 00:52:32,415 --> 00:52:34,781 You like having sex with that thing 1319 00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:36,409 more than you like having sex with me. 1320 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:37,748 (SCOFFS) 1321 00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:40,412 Malcolm, I was asleep. 1322 00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,018 Mm-hmm. Talk to the hand. I was... 1323 00:52:42,092 --> 00:52:43,320 That's the hand. Talk to it. 1324 00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:44,587 I was asleep, okay? 1325 00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,424 I didn't know I was having sex with a ghost. 1326 00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:47,622 Aha! 1327 00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,061 You just admitted to having sex with a ghost! 1328 00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:53,694 And you liked it! "Oh, Malcolm, you grew." 1329 00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:55,429 What happened, Kisha? 1330 00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,132 I'm not adequate enough for you? 1331 00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:00,402 Huh? I'm sorry. I tried Extense, Kisha. 1332 00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:01,677 Went through the whole program. 1333 00:53:01,711 --> 00:53:04,373 I did Cialis, Viagra and Maca. 1334 00:53:04,447 --> 00:53:06,039 Okay. All it did was get me dizzy, 1335 00:53:06,116 --> 00:53:07,640 you know... Okay, stop it, all right? 1336 00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:09,617 That is not fair! I was anally bleeding 1337 00:53:09,686 --> 00:53:11,313 for a month, and you didn't even know. 1338 00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:13,117 Listen, that is not fair, 1339 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,125 because I'm the one who was violated, not you. 1340 00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:22,028 I'm sorry. 1341 00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:23,929 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1342 00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:28,102 (SIGHS) Must have been a horrific experience for you. 1343 00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,331 I'm sorry. 1344 00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:32,374 Eh, could have been worse. 1345 00:53:32,442 --> 00:53:33,602 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1346 00:53:34,644 --> 00:53:35,872 Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray. 1347 00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:36,986 You got a beef up in here? 1348 00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,106 Lots of niggers. Not beef. Hey... 1349 00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,173 Hey, what the fuck is you taping for, Kisha? 1350 00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:43,219 We thugs. We can't be on no TV! 1351 00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,185 KISHA: Shut up, Ray-Ray. 1352 00:53:45,255 --> 00:53:46,984 Get the fuck off me. Okay. Sorry. 1353 00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,490 So, what's going on with this beef, homey? 1354 00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:50,583 It's that old bitch next door, ain't it, homey? 1355 00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,184 Yeah, she was eyeballing me, cuz, 1356 00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:54,423 when I was all up in her windowsill last night. 1357 00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,931 But she got a nice body, though, cuz. 1358 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,093 You know, like a sexy-ass baked potato, homey. 1359 00:53:59,169 --> 00:54:00,261 It's not like that. 1360 00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:01,850 What the fuck is it like, then, homey? 1361 00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:04,339 Well, someone's coming between me and Kisha. 1362 00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:06,136 Somebody fucked your girl, cuz? 1363 00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:07,938 Well, not... I be the one that fucked your girl! 1364 00:54:08,044 --> 00:54:09,170 KISHA: Oh, please. 1365 00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,407 How you let somebody fuck your girl before me, cuz? 1366 00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:12,674 We family, nigger! 1367 00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:13,875 I... I'm sorry... Kinda. 1368 00:54:13,950 --> 00:54:16,783 How the fuck do you "kinda" bang Kisha, homey? 1369 00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,446 Did he have one pant leg in, one pant leg out? 1370 00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:21,490 Like, he wasn't even interested in fucking her, homey? 1371 00:54:21,558 --> 00:54:23,150 Like, he had somewhere better to be, homey? 1372 00:54:23,226 --> 00:54:25,194 KISHA: Okay, Ray-Ray, that is not what it's like. 1373 00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:28,459 And can you please tell your Negro to back the hell up off me? 1374 00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,965 Hey! Pelvis back 2 inches, homey. 1375 00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:32,762 But stay up on her, though. 1376 00:54:32,869 --> 00:54:34,598 What the fuck is it like then, Kisha? Hmm? 1377 00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:36,070 If you listen, I'll tell you. 1378 00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:37,504 You tell me! 1379 00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,872 I can't wait to get my hands on this fool. 1380 00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,911 Come on out, cuz! KISHA: Ray-Ray, cut it out. 1381 00:54:41,978 --> 00:54:43,673 You're gonna make it mad. 1382 00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:49,276 I don't give a fuck, Kisha! 1383 00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:52,446 He should be worried about making Ray-Ray mad up in here, bitch! 1384 00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:54,080 KISHA: Who you callin' a bitch? 1385 00:54:54,157 --> 00:54:55,215 Show yourself! 1386 00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,589 No, Ray, don't do that! Don't... 1387 00:54:56,660 --> 00:54:58,150 (RUMBLING) 1388 00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,326 What the fuck is that? 1389 00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,364 A ghost, Ray. 1390 00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,269 A "ghost" ghost? A "ghost" ghost. 1391 00:55:07,337 --> 00:55:08,361 Like a dead ghost? 1392 00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:10,269 KISHA: Yes! Ray-Ray, that's what we've been trying 1393 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,205 to tell you for 15 minutes! 1394 00:55:12,942 --> 00:55:14,375 You idiot. 1395 00:55:14,444 --> 00:55:19,074 What the... What in the hell... 1396 00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:22,475 What happened to your furniture, cuz? 1397 00:55:23,386 --> 00:55:25,718 (ALL SCREAMING) 1398 00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:32,460 Get your hands up, cuz! 1399 00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,791 You're trying to get me killed, cuz. 1400 00:55:33,863 --> 00:55:35,387 I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray! 1401 00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,561 God! 1402 00:55:38,368 --> 00:55:39,562 (SOBS) 1403 00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,398 My stuff! 1404 00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:45,605 KISHA: Babe, you got to admit, it's kind of impressive. 1405 00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:54,142 Perfume? Hey! (LAUGHS) 1406 00:55:54,484 --> 00:55:56,714 Yeah, it's new. It's called Entity. 1407 00:55:56,786 --> 00:55:58,651 I like it. (CHUCKLES) 1408 00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:01,480 What's the occasion? What's up? 1409 00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:04,459 Malcolm, is it a crime to want to sleep 1410 00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:06,085 (LOUDLY) with no panties on? 1411 00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:11,732 I get it. This... This ain't for me. 1412 00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:13,291 (SIGHS) This is for him. 1413 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,201 Who are you talking about? 1414 00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,730 You know exactly who I'm talking about. 1415 00:56:17,841 --> 00:56:20,503 For your little supernatural lover. 1416 00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,133 Malcolm, you're being ridiculous, 1417 00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,645 and I'm gonna say this right now. 1418 00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:25,644 Insecurity is not attractive. 1419 00:56:25,715 --> 00:56:27,808 Yeah? Well, being a paranormal jump-off 1420 00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:30,682 is not attractive either, hon. Good night. 1421 00:56:30,987 --> 00:56:32,818 You're taking this too far. Whatever. 1422 00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:34,982 I have no interest in a ghost. 1423 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,896 You gonna try and contact him? 1424 00:56:49,272 --> 00:56:50,398 Good night! I was gonna... 1425 00:56:50,507 --> 00:56:51,565 Good night! 1426 00:57:09,459 --> 00:57:11,450 (MURMURS) (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) 1427 00:57:13,463 --> 00:57:15,761 (RUMBLING) 1428 00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:37,185 (GRUNTING) 1429 00:57:39,622 --> 00:57:42,182 (GRUNTING, SCREAMING) 1430 00:57:46,796 --> 00:57:48,195 (GROANS) 1431 00:57:52,202 --> 00:57:53,362 (SIGHS) 1432 00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,904 (MALCOLM GRUNTING ON COMPUTER) 1433 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,232 Get off of me! (GROANING) 1434 00:58:02,946 --> 00:58:04,504 Baby. Hey! 1435 00:58:04,614 --> 00:58:05,740 Hey. Hey. 1436 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,176 What's... What's up with the donut? 1437 00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:11,244 Oh, uh, I just got a little hemorrhoid, that's all. 1438 00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:12,652 Oh, I'm sorry. Hurts. 1439 00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:15,189 So, anything happen eventful last night? 1440 00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:18,419 No, nothing eventful. Just, you know, the usual. 1441 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,293 Just, like, you know, door slams, stuff like that. 1442 00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:22,731 Oh. I wanna see. (RAPID TYPING) 1443 00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:23,857 (GRUNTING) Nope, nope. 1444 00:58:23,967 --> 00:58:25,088 Nothing for you to see, baby. 1445 00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,659 Wait! Baby! 1446 00:58:26,736 --> 00:58:27,794 Hey! 1447 00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:29,202 Can you... So rude! Stop! Stop! 1448 00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:30,431 Hey! Malcolm! Would you... 1449 00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:31,974 Cut it... Just gotta do... 1450 00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,440 (GASPS) Oh, my! You know what? 1451 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,273 You... You got altar-boyed. 1452 00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,607 You know what? 1453 00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,670 You can't... Malcolm, hold on a second. 1454 00:58:38,781 --> 00:58:40,715 No, no, no, no, no! You just uploaded it! 1455 00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:42,011 No, no, no! 1456 00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:43,380 Oh, no! 1457 00:58:44,354 --> 00:58:45,446 (COMPUTER DINGS) 1458 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,013 You're gonna be bigger than Charlie Bit My Finger. 1459 00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:49,624 (WHEEZES) 1460 00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,063 Say hello to the camera. 1461 00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,324 Hello, Malcolm... Come on, Kisha. 1462 00:58:56,399 --> 00:58:58,833 Get the camera out my face. I'm not in the mood. Stop it! 1463 00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:00,335 Oh, I see. I see. 1464 00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:04,396 Now that you've been touched by an angel, suddenly you're camera shy? 1465 00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,635 Let me ask you a question, Kisha. 1466 00:59:07,710 --> 00:59:09,371 Is this the first ghost you slept with? 1467 00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:11,879 Or it's the first one I caught you with? 1468 00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,661 You wanna go there? Yeah, I wanna go there. 1469 00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,672 When did you become ghost pussy? 1470 00:59:14,851 --> 00:59:15,840 You know what, Malcolm? 1471 00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:19,719 Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost if I was with a real man! 1472 00:59:19,789 --> 00:59:20,813 (SCOFFING LAUGH) 1473 00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:24,223 There are Super Bowl ads that last longer than you do! 1474 00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:25,334 Let me tell you something. 1475 00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,727 People wait all year for those Super Bowl ads, baby. 1476 00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:28,888 All year! 1477 00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:31,193 And maybe it's 'cause every time I see you naked, 1478 00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:33,497 all I can think about is you sitting on the toilet, 1479 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:34,832 playing with a Rubik's Cube! 1480 00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:37,395 I'm sorry, Kisha. Some things just shouldn't be shared. 1481 00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:38,565 I let my guard down and... 1482 00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:39,903 Oh, you let your guard down. 1483 00:59:39,976 --> 00:59:41,170 ...you're gonna throw it back in my face? 1484 00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:42,472 You killed my dog! 1485 00:59:42,545 --> 00:59:43,876 (WHOOPS) You have not let this go! 1486 00:59:43,947 --> 00:59:44,936 Yeah, let's go there. 1487 00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:46,242 I did not kill your dog! 1488 00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:47,510 You dog murderer. 1489 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,449 That was my baby, and you killed it on purpose! 1490 00:59:49,552 --> 00:59:50,792 Oh, your baby was 87 years old! 1491 00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:53,015 (SCREAMS) Shh. 1492 00:59:53,623 --> 00:59:54,749 (PANTING) 1493 00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,024 Okay. Okay. 1494 00:59:57,093 --> 00:59:58,390 All right, come on. Let's go outside. 1495 00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:00,361 Okay. Okay. Come on. 1496 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,897 Okay. Go! Okay. 1497 01:00:02,298 --> 01:00:03,492 Do you see that? It's getting worse. 1498 01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,897 Well, you heard the psychic, all right? 1499 01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:06,298 It feeds off of negative energy. 1500 01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:07,893 All of your arguing is making it stronger. 1501 01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,130 My arguing? My arguing? (RUMBLING) 1502 01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,263 You're the one that... 1503 01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,329 That's right. 1504 01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:12,728 We have to stop fighting. I can't. 1505 01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:14,073 You are getting on my nerves. 1506 01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:16,042 Well, just pretend. 1507 01:00:17,814 --> 01:00:19,805 (RUMBLING) 1508 01:00:21,484 --> 01:00:23,543 (CUP RATTLES) 1509 01:00:25,154 --> 01:00:27,019 Good thing we switched to plastic. 1510 01:00:27,490 --> 01:00:29,185 (RUMBLING) 1511 01:00:29,959 --> 01:00:32,052 (RATTLING) 1512 01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,061 We'll have to get that pot rack looked at. 1513 01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:39,600 Mm-hmm. 1514 01:00:47,043 --> 01:00:50,171 (TEAKETTLE WHISTLES) 1515 01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:51,705 Tea's ready. Mmm. 1516 01:00:58,354 --> 01:01:00,151 (RUMBLING) 1517 01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:03,482 I'm gonna make a run to Starbucks. 1518 01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:14,002 Can you pick me up a latte? 1519 01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,094 You got it! 1520 01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:26,042 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 1521 01:01:29,118 --> 01:01:30,142 (GRUNTS) 1522 01:01:30,219 --> 01:01:31,208 (SCREAMS) 1523 01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:32,311 Malcolm! 1524 01:01:33,956 --> 01:01:35,753 (SCREAMING) 1525 01:01:39,696 --> 01:01:40,924 (GRUNTS) 1526 01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:43,396 Yeah! I kicked you in your ghost balls! 1527 01:01:43,466 --> 01:01:44,763 I got some for you... 1528 01:01:44,901 --> 01:01:46,459 (GRUNTS, SCREAMS) 1529 01:01:47,203 --> 01:01:48,261 (SCREAMS) 1530 01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:50,600 Malcolm! 1531 01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:53,301 Wake up! Nigger, open your eyes! 1532 01:01:53,476 --> 01:01:56,172 (SCREAMS) Take off those damn headphones! 1533 01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,042 Malcolm! 1534 01:01:58,381 --> 01:01:59,473 (THUDS) 1535 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:01,577 (PANTING) 1536 01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:03,784 Malcolm! 1537 01:02:03,853 --> 01:02:05,946 (SCREAMING) Malcolm! 1538 01:02:10,827 --> 01:02:13,318 (RAP MUSIC CONTINUES) 1539 01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:20,862 (MUTTERING) Yeah, listen. Something's wrong with Kisha. 1540 01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:23,064 No, no, she's been cleaning all morning. 1541 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,003 Dude, Kisha don't clean. 1542 01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,611 That's good, baby. Not the couch, honey! Not the couch. 1543 01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,510 Not the couch. Yes, the floor. 1544 01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:33,980 Yeah, good girl, good girl. (CHUCKLES) 1545 01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:36,780 Yo, man, earlier, I caught her masturbating 1546 01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,785 with a crucifix. 1547 01:02:39,088 --> 01:02:40,749 (GROANING) Kisha? 1548 01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:43,856 Wouldn't you rather use this? 1549 01:02:44,861 --> 01:02:46,328 (WHIRRING) 1550 01:02:47,563 --> 01:02:48,655 (GROANING) 1551 01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,023 Okay. 1552 01:02:51,167 --> 01:02:52,862 Exactly. I'm... 1553 01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,598 Uh, dude, I gotta go. 1554 01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,503 No, she's walking the dog. 1555 01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:01,640 What's wrong with that? The dog is dead. 1556 01:03:01,711 --> 01:03:04,179 I gotta go. Uh, Kisha? 1557 01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:07,316 Kisha. Oh, boy. Kisha! 1558 01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,850 Kisha? Baby? 1559 01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,514 Listen, I just wanted to apologize for the way I been acting. 1560 01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:16,922 I just want to tell you that I love you, 1561 01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:19,518 and I don't want anything to come between us. 1562 01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:22,655 And what the hell is that Twilight shit on your neck? 1563 01:03:22,865 --> 01:03:25,561 (ROARS) Oh, my God! Oh, God! 1564 01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:27,367 What the hell? (PANTING) 1565 01:03:28,771 --> 01:03:31,035 Oh, yeah. She is definitely on the rag. 1566 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,462 MALCOLM: Oh, Father. Thank God you could make it. 1567 01:03:35,211 --> 01:03:36,838 Nigger, call me "Doug." 1568 01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:38,937 I don't like being called "Father." No way. 1569 01:03:39,015 --> 01:03:41,609 Plus, I got a couple issues with a few people out there 1570 01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:43,549 claiming false child support. 1571 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,883 I mean, just 'cause the little nigger got my eyes, 1572 01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,855 my nose, my extremely rare AB-negative blood type, 1573 01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,755 don't mean I'm the damn daddy. 1574 01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:53,555 Plus, I'm still in training. 1575 01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:55,130 At the seminary? 1576 01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:56,731 No, the penitentiary. 1577 01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,357 What? Shit, nigger, 1578 01:03:58,434 --> 01:04:00,129 I've been incarcerated 15 years. 1579 01:04:00,403 --> 01:04:02,667 Oh. But you learn a lot out there reading on the yard. 1580 01:04:02,738 --> 01:04:05,400 You shank a nigger, come in, read the scripture. 1581 01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,738 Shank a motherfucker, read the scripture. 1582 01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,165 You gonna let a nigger in or what? 1583 01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:10,412 Uh, I'm sorry, Father. Come in. 1584 01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:12,674 Damn. Standing out here, nigger. It's cold as hell. 1585 01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:16,911 Ooh. 1586 01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:20,345 Uh, bro, I'm gonna have to level with you. 1587 01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:22,323 This bitch don't look right. 1588 01:04:22,425 --> 01:04:26,259 I mean, she look all ashy and shit, and just... 1589 01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,728 You know, like E.T. with a weave. 1590 01:04:28,831 --> 01:04:30,230 If I was you, I'd just be out. 1591 01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:31,891 Let's just go. Come on. Let's go. 1592 01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:34,333 Uh, I... I can't leave her. That's my girl. 1593 01:04:34,403 --> 01:04:35,870 Are you kidding me? Come on, man. 1594 01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:37,337 There's so much pussy in the world, man. 1595 01:04:37,406 --> 01:04:38,998 You don't have to be with just her. 1596 01:04:39,075 --> 01:04:40,201 Come to the congregation. 1597 01:04:40,276 --> 01:04:42,210 I've got a few in the congregation, 1598 01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:43,870 I'm trying to tell you. Check this out. 1599 01:04:43,946 --> 01:04:45,004 (CELL PHONE BEEPS) 1600 01:04:45,815 --> 01:04:47,112 (LAUGHS) 1601 01:04:47,650 --> 01:04:48,878 Now, I know she look old. 1602 01:04:48,951 --> 01:04:51,044 I know she... But she a freak, and she got skills. 1603 01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,921 MALCOLM: Can we go in there and just save her? 1604 01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:55,183 Yo! Yo, dawg, you yelling at me right now? 1605 01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:57,453 I know you just didn't scream on me, dawg. 1606 01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,051 I'm here to exorcise your bitch, man. 1607 01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:02,359 So you wanna go in the room. All the way in? 1608 01:05:03,766 --> 01:05:06,030 Look at her hair. Her hair's all crazy. 1609 01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:08,570 You think I'm scared right now, but I'm not. 1610 01:05:08,638 --> 01:05:09,696 I didn't think you was scared. 1611 01:05:09,772 --> 01:05:11,205 No, I'm just a little concerned 1612 01:05:11,274 --> 01:05:13,435 that I don't have the right stuff. 1613 01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,271 Do you have, like, a loaded gun? 1614 01:05:15,444 --> 01:05:16,644 I'll shank this bitch for you. 1615 01:05:16,946 --> 01:05:19,312 (GRUNTS) (EXHALES) 1616 01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:23,585 It's cold as a motherfucker in here, man. Y'all ain't got no heat? 1617 01:05:25,288 --> 01:05:27,722 How you doing, crazy bitch? 1618 01:05:27,790 --> 01:05:28,848 Kisha. 1619 01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:31,655 Kisha, I'm Father Doug. 1620 01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:34,960 I'm here to un-possess you. 1621 01:05:35,331 --> 01:05:37,595 Wait a minute. She's moving. 1622 01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:41,467 This is some crazy-ass shit, man. 1623 01:05:41,971 --> 01:05:43,370 (IN A POSSESSED VOICE) Who are you? 1624 01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,237 (STAMMERS) I wasn't expecting her to talk. 1625 01:05:47,310 --> 01:05:48,675 I'm Father Doug. 1626 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,803 Connect the cut. Connect the cut. 1627 01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:52,608 (STAMMERS) 1628 01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:55,283 Connect the cut. Connect the cut. Connect the cut. 1629 01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:58,453 Oh, oh, that's some of that Busta Rhymes shit 1630 01:05:58,587 --> 01:05:59,679 she doin' right there. 1631 01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,620 She's on that Bus A Bus. 1632 01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:03,921 It's kinda more like Twista, though. It's real fast. 1633 01:06:04,026 --> 01:06:06,153 (SCATTING) 1634 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,189 Do you know how to connect the cuts? 1635 01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:20,141 Uh, uh, uh. 1636 01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,368 Tic-tac-toe in your face! 1637 01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,639 Straight X's, straight across, diagonal. 1638 01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,682 I almost had your ass the other way. 1639 01:06:26,849 --> 01:06:30,341 Tic-tac-toe on your arm, connect the cuts. 1640 01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:32,294 That's what she was saying, "Connect the cuts." 1641 01:06:32,855 --> 01:06:34,948 I wanna show you something. 1642 01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:42,955 "Suck it." That's gangsta! That's gangsta. 1643 01:06:43,232 --> 01:06:44,529 You wanna see mine? 1644 01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:45,793 It's okay. I'm gonna show you mine. 1645 01:06:45,868 --> 01:06:50,168 Check this out. I did a little something a while back. 1646 01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:53,070 I did that in prison. Yeah, you know, 1647 01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,176 it hurt. But, you know, 1648 01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:57,308 you gotta go through it. You gotta earn it. 1649 01:06:57,546 --> 01:06:59,377 Everybody went crazy. They was like, 1650 01:06:59,482 --> 01:07:01,347 "No, you didn't! You so hard, dawg!" 1651 01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:03,317 I had control of that TV for a month. 1652 01:07:03,386 --> 01:07:04,546 (HISSES) 1653 01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:07,180 Would you like to see my paintings? 1654 01:07:08,357 --> 01:07:09,881 Sure. Of course. 1655 01:07:09,992 --> 01:07:13,428 You know, I consider myself a bit of an art aficionado. 1656 01:07:14,230 --> 01:07:16,630 (WHISPERS) I think it's going well. It's going good. 1657 01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,062 Mm-hmm. 1658 01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:21,563 If, uh... 1659 01:07:22,338 --> 01:07:24,568 Well, you know, if I can be perfectly honest with you, 1660 01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,004 it's your technique that's sloppy. 1661 01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:27,372 But that's, you know, 1662 01:07:27,443 --> 01:07:29,809 to be expected from someone that's possessed. 1663 01:07:32,148 --> 01:07:34,446 (RUMBLING) 1664 01:07:37,319 --> 01:07:38,547 Hmm? 1665 01:07:38,721 --> 01:07:40,985 (DEMONIC SCREAMING) 1666 01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:44,626 (GAGS) Ah! 1667 01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:47,357 Damn, that made my breath stink. 1668 01:07:48,130 --> 01:07:49,654 Man, that breath is kickin'! 1669 01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:52,965 I can only imagine what the kitty smell like. 1670 01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,798 Pure evil. 1671 01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:56,470 Goddamn. 1672 01:08:01,410 --> 01:08:03,935 I'm Dan "the Man" Kearney and today on Ghost Guys 1673 01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:06,072 we're investigating paranormal activity 1674 01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,548 at the Johnson residence in suburban Los Angeles. 1675 01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:10,380 This is going be very unsettling. 1676 01:08:10,453 --> 01:08:12,478 Not like those other fake ghost hunter shows. 1677 01:08:12,555 --> 01:08:13,681 This stuff is real. 1678 01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:17,351 And I don't mean like, "I saw my dead nana" scary, 1679 01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:21,055 but scary like, "I left a bag of meth in the glove box 1680 01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,570 and I'm getting pulled up by the cops 1681 01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:24,498 and I got a hot pipe under the seat." 1682 01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:26,728 That kind of scary. Let's go inside. 1683 01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:30,196 All right, on behalf of Ghost Guys, 1684 01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,400 the greatest ghost-hunter show on the Internet or cable access, 1685 01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:35,774 I'd like to thank you for having us. You've made a good choice. 1686 01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,506 You're welcome. Thank you very much for coming. 1687 01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:39,220 Malcolm, Malcolm, I'm not sure about this. 1688 01:08:39,248 --> 01:08:43,150 I mean, this guy, sure. But Sling Blade there, don't trust him. 1689 01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,015 You said you needed ghost hunters right? 1690 01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,248 I also said I needed a psychic. 1691 01:08:47,423 --> 01:08:49,015 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1692 01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:50,918 Chip, hey, what's up? 1693 01:08:50,993 --> 01:08:52,594 What's going on? What are you doing here? 1694 01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:54,392 I'm a psychic, I sensed you needed my help. 1695 01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:55,452 I do. 1696 01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,555 There's a new person. 1697 01:08:56,632 --> 01:08:58,793 Yeah, that's Bob. Come on, let's go. 1698 01:08:59,568 --> 01:09:02,503 Hey, there's something different about you. Something new. 1699 01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:05,267 I can't quite put my finger in you. On you. On it. 1700 01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:06,330 Haircut. 1701 01:09:06,408 --> 01:09:07,466 Someone's got a secret. 1702 01:09:07,576 --> 01:09:08,907 No, I don't. Come on. 1703 01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,240 Hey, guys. 1704 01:09:10,446 --> 01:09:14,280 Gentlemen, what we have here is a crazy bitch. 1705 01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:16,380 Now, I would leave her possessed ass 1706 01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:18,386 in the alley downtown if it was me, 1707 01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:21,617 but apparently, Malcolm's got a thing for the freak. 1708 01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:22,713 Holy shit. 1709 01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:25,351 So, what you're saying is, there's an actual demon here in the house? 1710 01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:27,327 It's in the bitch. 1711 01:09:28,230 --> 01:09:30,721 I'm sorry, "ho." No disrespect. 1712 01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:33,097 "Bitch" is fine. "Bitch" is fine. 1713 01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,260 All right, this is what I'm getting. 1714 01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:40,773 The entity does not want to leave this house, 1715 01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:42,736 okay? 1716 01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:46,875 It's struggling to stay inside. 1717 01:09:47,049 --> 01:09:48,983 And Malcolm, I need to know. 1718 01:09:49,151 --> 01:09:52,609 How far are you gonna go to get this demon out? 1719 01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,787 I'll do anything. 1720 01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:57,214 Anything? 1721 01:09:57,326 --> 01:10:00,261 (RUBBER SQUEAKING) MALCOLM: I don't see how this is gonna help anything. 1722 01:10:00,429 --> 01:10:02,260 This just got weird. 1723 01:10:02,431 --> 01:10:04,365 What is this supposed to do? 1724 01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:10,400 Um... Nothing. I was just trying to see how far you would go. 1725 01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:12,529 What did I tell you? 1726 01:10:12,608 --> 01:10:13,632 I think she looks fine. 1727 01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,903 Clearly does not look fine. 1728 01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:16,968 She looks fucked up. I'm gonna need my Bible. 1729 01:10:17,079 --> 01:10:18,103 You're gonna bless her? 1730 01:10:18,180 --> 01:10:21,172 Well, yeah, I blessed this joint. Mm-hmm. 1731 01:10:21,283 --> 01:10:23,774 Right out of the First Chronicles. (CHUCKLES) 1732 01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:28,049 I haven't done many exorcisms, but I don't think that's appropriate. 1733 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:32,456 I get it, I get it. I can fix that, though, right now. 1734 01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:33,722 I got a little something. 1735 01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:35,161 DAN: What's going on? 1736 01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:38,232 That's a demon party. Yeah, look out. 1737 01:10:38,334 --> 01:10:40,165 (SNIFFS) (GRUNTS) 1738 01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:43,596 What is this, 1985? 1739 01:10:43,672 --> 01:10:44,900 Is there just one demon? 1740 01:10:44,974 --> 01:10:47,033 'Cause I feel like we could exorcise any demons in the area. 1741 01:10:47,109 --> 01:10:49,168 What? I'll take on a whole team of demons. 1742 01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,576 What we should do is get all the demons in one room 1743 01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:51,670 and get rid of them all at once. 1744 01:10:51,747 --> 01:10:53,214 Do a collective demon-gathering. 1745 01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:54,741 We just walk up to people's doors, 1746 01:10:54,817 --> 01:10:55,875 "How you doing? How you doing?" 1747 01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,077 "Can we talk to you about the Lord today?" 1748 01:10:57,152 --> 01:10:58,881 "We heard y'all got demons up in there. What's up?" 1749 01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,114 Can I get in the bed with your girl? 1750 01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,056 I used to braid hair. I could actually braid her hair right now. 1751 01:11:03,225 --> 01:11:05,386 I'll be hitting her with some Allen Iversons and stuff. 1752 01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:08,155 I'll give her some Sprewells. I'll take it back. 1753 01:11:08,564 --> 01:11:11,032 Let's do a little exorcism. 1754 01:11:11,233 --> 01:11:13,531 All right, "Blessed is he 1755 01:11:13,702 --> 01:11:17,365 who, in the name of charity and goodwill, 1756 01:11:18,674 --> 01:11:22,110 shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness." 1757 01:11:22,311 --> 01:11:26,111 "For he is truly his brother's keeper 1758 01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:29,115 and the finder of lost children." 1759 01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:32,910 "And you will know my name is the Lord 1760 01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:36,319 when I lay my vengeance upon you!" 1761 01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,789 Did you just quote Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction? 1762 01:11:40,362 --> 01:11:41,624 (CHUCKLES) 1763 01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:47,325 You got that. You got me on that. You got me on that one! 1764 01:11:47,503 --> 01:11:48,834 I love Sam Jackson, dawg. 1765 01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,665 The Jheri curl will be dripping and everything. 1766 01:11:50,773 --> 01:11:52,297 Plus, on the plane movie. 1767 01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,409 When he was on the plane and he killed the snakes. 1768 01:11:54,510 --> 01:11:55,977 That's my favorite movie. 1769 01:11:56,045 --> 01:11:57,876 "Enough is enough!" 1770 01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:01,141 BOTH: "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes 1771 01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:02,875 on this motherfucking plane!" 1772 01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:04,953 Hey, all right! That's what I'm talking about. 1773 01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:06,451 Guys! All right, all right! 1774 01:12:06,522 --> 01:12:09,082 Exorcism. That's what we're here for, right? 1775 01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:12,990 Yes, go back to the thing that got us here in the first place. 1776 01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,720 Where we met. 1777 01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:16,922 (LAUGHS) My man! 1778 01:12:17,099 --> 01:12:21,593 By the powers vested to me, 1779 01:12:21,770 --> 01:12:24,705 that somebody gave me while I was locked up, 1780 01:12:24,873 --> 01:12:28,673 from the correctional institution in Lompoc, that's up north... 1781 01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:33,144 I want the demon that's in you to come out and holler at a brother. 1782 01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:35,510 Demon, come up out of Kisha, demon. 1783 01:12:35,951 --> 01:12:37,509 Come out! Just come out! 1784 01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:38,675 Come up out of Kisha! 1785 01:12:38,754 --> 01:12:39,812 DAN: Come up out of there, demon. 1786 01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:42,448 Come out! Come out! 1787 01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:43,513 Come out! (SOBS) 1788 01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:44,881 Come out! 1789 01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,895 Hey! I'm not the one with the demon, she is. 1790 01:12:48,797 --> 01:12:50,697 (PANTING) We all have demons, Malcolm. 1791 01:12:50,766 --> 01:12:51,755 (GASPS) 1792 01:12:51,834 --> 01:12:53,802 (WHISPERS) I know what you did last summer. 1793 01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:55,061 (WHISPERS) You better not do this. 1794 01:12:55,204 --> 01:12:56,535 (ROARS) 1795 01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:58,465 CHIP: Let her go, she's fat. 1796 01:13:00,342 --> 01:13:02,503 MALCOLM: Kisha! Kisha! 1797 01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,280 Kisha! Oh, my God. 1798 01:13:05,614 --> 01:13:08,310 (PANTING) (GROANING ECHOES) 1799 01:13:09,284 --> 01:13:10,546 Kisha? 1800 01:13:11,286 --> 01:13:12,344 (THUDDING) 1801 01:13:12,521 --> 01:13:13,886 Kisha? 1802 01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,319 Oh, hey, buddy, you made it. 1803 01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:22,362 Grab a finger sandwich, they're delish! 1804 01:13:22,531 --> 01:13:24,021 About time you came up in here. 1805 01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:26,633 'Cause there ain't no party like a mandingo party. 1806 01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:29,362 'Cause a mandingo party don't stop. 1807 01:13:29,538 --> 01:13:31,836 Drink up, sweetheart. You need some water? 1808 01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:32,931 Mmm. You're next, Malcolm. 1809 01:13:33,008 --> 01:13:34,441 Where are you going? Hey, don't let her down. 1810 01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:35,499 It's her birthday. 1811 01:13:35,611 --> 01:13:36,600 MALCOLM: Oh, God. 1812 01:13:36,678 --> 01:13:38,145 Hey, did you find Kisha? 1813 01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:39,507 Uh, no, she's not in there. 1814 01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:40,570 You sure? What's going on in there? 1815 01:13:40,649 --> 01:13:41,638 Uh, nothing at all. 1816 01:13:41,717 --> 01:13:42,877 Is that a mandingo party? No. 1817 01:13:42,951 --> 01:13:45,010 Man, I wanna get my Kunta Kinte on. 1818 01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:47,816 MALCOLM: Kisha? 1819 01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:50,919 Kisha? 1820 01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:54,718 Oh, shit! 1821 01:13:54,797 --> 01:13:55,821 MALCOLM: Baby? 1822 01:13:55,964 --> 01:13:57,090 (GUNSHOTS) 1823 01:13:57,232 --> 01:13:59,325 Oh, my God! What did you do? 1824 01:13:59,401 --> 01:14:00,959 Shit, I did you a favor. 1825 01:14:01,069 --> 01:14:02,263 (GROANS, COUGHS) 1826 01:14:02,337 --> 01:14:04,669 MALCOLM: Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Rosa! 1827 01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,899 I just wanted my last check, Malcolm. 1828 01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:08,906 Oh, my God, you shot my housekeeper. 1829 01:14:08,977 --> 01:14:10,444 You mean, your ex-housekeeper. 1830 01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,912 Look, man, the bitch can't be jumping out on me like that. 1831 01:14:12,981 --> 01:14:14,846 You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I got warrants. 1832 01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:16,282 CHIP: Hurry, she's in here. 1833 01:14:16,351 --> 01:14:17,909 Come on, guys. 1834 01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:19,246 MALCOLM: Kisha! 1835 01:14:19,321 --> 01:14:21,289 DAN: We got her cornered. Baby. 1836 01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:23,084 Father, do something. Oh, my God! 1837 01:14:23,492 --> 01:14:24,789 (ALL SCREAM) 1838 01:14:25,828 --> 01:14:27,557 Man, that demon is a freak. 1839 01:14:27,729 --> 01:14:29,720 Yeah, the crazy ones always got the best pussy. 1840 01:14:29,832 --> 01:14:32,130 The moon landing was fake. 1841 01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,225 What? 1842 01:14:33,435 --> 01:14:35,869 Biggie and Tupac 1843 01:14:36,038 --> 01:14:37,835 are alive. 1844 01:14:38,407 --> 01:14:41,467 Paul Ryan will be the next president. 1845 01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:43,407 (SNICKERS) The demon lies. 1846 01:14:43,579 --> 01:14:44,807 Well, except for the thing about Tupac. 1847 01:14:44,913 --> 01:14:46,141 He is alive. He's got a new album coming out. 1848 01:14:46,248 --> 01:14:47,579 What the fuck is going on here? 1849 01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:49,640 There's an exorcism happening, people! 1850 01:14:49,718 --> 01:14:51,117 (PANTING) 1851 01:14:52,554 --> 01:14:54,613 The power of Christ compels you. (DEMONIC GROAN) 1852 01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:56,715 The power of Christ compels you. 1853 01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,154 What is that, holy water? 1854 01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:01,923 No, it's a new cologne from Khloe and Lamar. It's unisex. 1855 01:15:02,097 --> 01:15:03,724 (SNIFFS) I can smell Lamar. 1856 01:15:03,899 --> 01:15:05,332 Get her! (SCREAMING) 1857 01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:08,430 (ALL SCREAM) Baby! 1858 01:15:08,537 --> 01:15:09,629 (ROARS) 1859 01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:12,102 Oh! She knows some of that Spider-Man shit! 1860 01:15:12,207 --> 01:15:13,367 (ROARS) 1861 01:15:13,475 --> 01:15:14,499 (ALL SCREAMING) 1862 01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:15,804 CHIP: Oh, my God! 1863 01:15:15,944 --> 01:15:17,172 MALCOLM: It's got me! 1864 01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,211 MALCOLM: Chip! I'm afraid of the dark. 1865 01:15:19,381 --> 01:15:21,042 Why do have your hand on my balls? 1866 01:15:21,216 --> 01:15:23,446 I'm protecting them from spirits. 1867 01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:24,847 Get off of me! 1868 01:15:25,020 --> 01:15:26,419 There she is! 1869 01:15:26,622 --> 01:15:27,782 MALCOLM: (SCREAMING) She's going to the basement. 1870 01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:31,553 Bobby? Oh, my God! Bobby, my brother's gone! 1871 01:15:31,693 --> 01:15:32,921 Oh, my God! Let's go! 1872 01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:34,358 DOUG: Bobby? CHIP: Bobby? 1873 01:15:34,429 --> 01:15:35,453 DAN: Bobby? 1874 01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:37,396 CHIP: This is dark. DOUG: I don't wanna go down here. 1875 01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:40,297 MALCOLM: Kisha! Look at all these weird markings. 1876 01:15:40,402 --> 01:15:42,029 DAN: Kisha was here. She has a sign. 1877 01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:43,761 CHIP: Bobby! 1878 01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,505 MALCOLM: Oh, my God! She got Bobby! 1879 01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:50,869 Actually, that's just Bobby taking a pee. 1880 01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,411 (URINATING) MALCOLM: What? 1881 01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:54,572 MALCOLM: Oh, come on, that's gross. 1882 01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:56,081 Kisha! Kisha. 1883 01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,946 Kisha. Show yourself. 1884 01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,416 Baby? Come on, you gotta stay close. 1885 01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:03,217 What is this, a Shake Weight and a Thighmaster? 1886 01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:04,416 Nice. 1887 01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:05,755 Back the train up. You got a Flowbee? 1888 01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,968 Hey, it all looks good at 2:00 in the morning, okay? 1889 01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:10,088 Hey, look, Malcolm, one's white and one's black. 1890 01:16:10,265 --> 01:16:11,596 Guess which one you are. BOB: Black one. 1891 01:16:11,767 --> 01:16:14,861 What the hell? Can we just go find my girl, please? 1892 01:16:14,937 --> 01:16:15,926 Thank you. 1893 01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,006 BOB: Kisha! Bobby! 1894 01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:21,165 Would you shut the fuck up? What are you doing? 1895 01:16:21,343 --> 01:16:22,901 Come on. 1896 01:16:23,946 --> 01:16:25,743 (WHISPERING) Go, go, go. 1897 01:16:25,847 --> 01:16:27,940 (SCREECHING IN DISTANCE) 1898 01:16:28,383 --> 01:16:29,611 DOUG: What was that? 1899 01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:31,378 (ALL SCREAMING) 1900 01:16:31,620 --> 01:16:33,087 Christ, that bitch is scary. 1901 01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:34,817 MALCOLM: I dropped the camera! 1902 01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,224 Fellas? (PANTING) 1903 01:16:40,062 --> 01:16:41,256 Kisha. 1904 01:16:42,130 --> 01:16:43,256 (RATTLES) 1905 01:16:43,765 --> 01:16:45,027 (GRUNTS) 1906 01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:55,041 (WHISPERING) Malcolm? Malcolm? 1907 01:16:56,712 --> 01:17:01,081 It's me, Chip the Psychic. Malcolm? 1908 01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,209 It's me, Chip. 1909 01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:06,478 Yoo-hoo. 1910 01:17:07,623 --> 01:17:08,885 (CLATTERS) 1911 01:17:09,124 --> 01:17:12,423 MALCOLM: Okay, I found the camera. What are you guys doing? 1912 01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:13,619 This shit is real, son. 1913 01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:14,753 Yeah. 1914 01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:16,591 MALCOLM: Chip, why are you naked? 1915 01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:18,289 What the hell? Hey! 1916 01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,435 It got really hot in here. 1917 01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:22,866 Oh, no. Where's Bobby? 1918 01:17:23,071 --> 01:17:24,595 (SCREAMS) 1919 01:17:25,073 --> 01:17:26,301 Found my Walkman. 1920 01:17:26,375 --> 01:17:27,433 (KISHA CRYING) 1921 01:17:27,509 --> 01:17:30,603 Kisha? Baby, are you okay? 1922 01:17:30,746 --> 01:17:32,077 DOUG: Leave her alone. Don't touch her. 1923 01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,375 MALCOLM: Why? 1924 01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,006 'Cause she's like that witch in Left 4 Dead 1925 01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:36,603 sitting in the corner crying like that. 1926 01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:38,313 You touch her, she gonna attack your ass. 1927 01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:39,979 MALCOLM: I can't just leave her, man. 1928 01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:43,455 Kisha? Baby? It'll be okay, all right? 1929 01:17:43,959 --> 01:17:44,948 (LAUGHS DEMONICALLY) 1930 01:17:45,027 --> 01:17:46,016 (ROARS) 1931 01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:49,087 (SCREAMING) Get off my man, bitch! 1932 01:17:49,398 --> 01:17:50,660 (SCREAMING) 1933 01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:53,993 (THUDDING) DAN: You wanna fight? Take that, demon! 1934 01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,167 Elbow smash! 1935 01:17:56,405 --> 01:17:57,429 Ooh! 1936 01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:59,463 DAN: Harder! Beast! 1937 01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,069 Take that, demon! 1938 01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:03,935 Fucking bitch, take that. 1939 01:18:04,379 --> 01:18:05,403 (LAUGHING) 1940 01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:06,601 That demon can take a punch. 1941 01:18:06,615 --> 01:18:07,639 That's enough. 1942 01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:09,884 Baby? KISHA: Malcolm. 1943 01:18:10,052 --> 01:18:12,111 I think she's okay. Maybe not! 1944 01:18:12,220 --> 01:18:13,278 (GROWLS) 1945 01:18:14,623 --> 01:18:15,988 I won't tell on you, you don't tell on me. 1946 01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:17,147 Understand me? 1947 01:18:17,225 --> 01:18:18,317 You weren't here, I wasn't here. 1948 01:18:18,427 --> 01:18:19,587 I'll take the blame. I'll take the blame. 1949 01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,720 Okay, good. Hey! 1950 01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,230 Man, put some clothes on! 1951 01:18:23,865 --> 01:18:25,196 (STATIC) 1952 01:18:33,108 --> 01:18:34,507 (TOILET FLUSHES) 1953 01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:36,975 Hey. Hey. 1954 01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:39,613 You know what? This Angry Birds is kind of fun. 1955 01:18:39,781 --> 01:18:41,408 I told you. (CHUCKLES) I like it. 1956 01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:43,210 Look at you looking all pretty. 1957 01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,786 Oh, this? It's just a little something I put on for my man. 1958 01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:48,286 Oh, lucky him. 1959 01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:49,923 Oh. Ow... 1960 01:18:49,991 --> 01:18:51,458 Malcolm. What? What? What? 1961 01:18:51,626 --> 01:18:53,253 My ribs are still a little sore. 1962 01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,295 I'm sorry. We did beat the hell out of you, girl. 1963 01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:58,465 We was just trying to get the demon out. I'm sorry. 1964 01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,061 No, I'm sorry for bringing that thing into your house. 1965 01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,898 Our house. 1966 01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:05,598 Mmm! 1967 01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:10,808 Malcolm? Is the camera on? Mm-hmm? 1968 01:19:12,247 --> 01:19:13,407 (GROANS) 1969 01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:15,610 Fine. 1970 01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:17,243 Good. 1971 01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:20,985 Come here. (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1972 01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,516 (MALCOLM SPED UP) Take like that, take it like that. 1973 01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,457 Oh, my God, I hit the bottom. 1974 01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:30,189 Oh, yeah, take that. Who's your dirty daddy? 1975 01:19:30,298 --> 01:19:31,424 (KISHA SQUEALING) 1976 01:19:33,268 --> 01:19:35,236 (KISHA GROANING) 1977 01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,827 Oh, God. 1978 01:19:37,005 --> 01:19:39,269 I got a cramp. (GROANS) Don't touch it. 1979 01:20:17,112 --> 01:20:18,875 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 1980 01:20:22,450 --> 01:20:24,077 (KISHA SCREAMS) 1981 01:20:24,319 --> 01:20:25,479 (HUFFS) 1982 01:20:25,554 --> 01:20:28,455 Malcolm! 1983 01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,251 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm coming. 1984 01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:32,586 Shit. 1985 01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,262 Malcolm! 1986 01:20:39,434 --> 01:20:42,198 I heard you the first time. Damn. 1987 01:20:45,707 --> 01:20:47,106 (ROARING) 1988 01:20:52,380 --> 01:20:55,872 (SNIFFING) 1989 01:20:55,951 --> 01:20:58,078 (FARTS) 1990 01:21:02,958 --> 01:21:04,323 (ROARS) 1991 01:21:07,429 --> 01:21:08,828 (STATIC) 1992 01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:18,428 She's gone. (CHUCKLES) 1993 01:21:22,043 --> 01:21:24,637 Yeah, baby, I lived! I lived. 1994 01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:26,940 In your face. In your face! 1995 01:21:27,115 --> 01:21:28,810 You thought you'd move into my house and kill me? 1996 01:21:28,984 --> 01:21:30,178 What? 1997 01:21:30,318 --> 01:21:31,512 (LAUGHS) 1998 01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,717 She's right behind me, isn't she? 1999 01:21:34,856 --> 01:21:36,255 (SCREAMS) 2000 01:21:37,192 --> 01:21:39,626 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 2001 01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:22,856 Oh, yeah. 2002 01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:25,761 We gonna need a wide angle for some of these aerial tricks. 2003 01:23:25,934 --> 01:23:28,198 All right, I call this one "The Superman." 2004 01:23:28,303 --> 01:23:29,429 (GRUNTS) 2005 01:23:29,571 --> 01:23:33,007 Pile driver! (GRUNTS) Take that. Take that. 2006 01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:34,570 Oh! Oh! 2007 01:23:34,976 --> 01:23:36,568 (BRAYS) 2008 01:23:36,978 --> 01:23:39,071 Can I get you something to drink, Father? 2009 01:23:39,681 --> 01:23:41,581 Yeah, Hennessy, straight. 2010 01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:43,650 Oh, you got Hpnotiq? I like to mix them. 2011 01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:46,117 Uh, I was talking about water. 2012 01:23:46,354 --> 01:23:49,551 Water? I don't drink that bullshit. What the fuck? 2013 01:23:49,724 --> 01:23:51,658 Yeah, my show is gonna be huge. 2014 01:23:51,993 --> 01:23:54,860 I'm gonna get my house back. I'm gonna get a girlfriend. 2015 01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:56,327 I'm gonna be successful. 2016 01:23:56,398 --> 01:24:00,562 Did you just hope and dream out loud? 2017 01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:04,528 All hopes and dreams are out loud. That's the camera show. 2018 01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:07,836 Oh, this is called "68," and I owe you one. 2019 01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:11,240 (GRUNTS) You're crazy, girl. Yeah, I'll fart in your face. 2020 01:24:12,013 --> 01:24:15,107 (GRUNTS) Take that. Now we gonna make some love. 2021 01:24:15,283 --> 01:24:16,580 But I ain't gonna kiss you on your mouth 2022 01:24:16,651 --> 01:24:18,312 'cause I just farted in your face. 2023 01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:21,685 Here's the thing. A lot of people think penises are scary. 2024 01:24:21,823 --> 01:24:25,122 They're not, unless it has a gun. Then that's horrifying. 2025 01:24:25,293 --> 01:24:28,285 90% of penises don't carry a gun. 2026 01:24:28,463 --> 01:24:30,454 Oh, my God. What? 2027 01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:31,521 That's a fact. 2028 01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,665 But I'm gonna tell you this, don't ever, 2029 01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,532 ever let a man put his hands on you. 2030 01:24:35,703 --> 01:24:37,933 Unless he paying the bills. Aah! 2031 01:24:38,006 --> 01:24:39,837 Domestic violence is amazing. 2032 01:24:40,275 --> 01:24:41,537 (MOANING) 2033 01:24:42,777 --> 01:24:45,007 Gonna burn me. 2034 01:24:46,047 --> 01:24:47,139 (MOANS) 2035 01:24:49,317 --> 01:24:52,718 I'm sorry. Shh. Shh. Take it. 2036 01:24:53,288 --> 01:24:54,550 Ooh. 2037 01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:57,119 Ooh! 2038 01:24:57,192 --> 01:25:00,787 This is one bad picture right here, nigger. 2039 01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:04,229 This a fine motherfucker right here, boy. This is dope. 2040 01:25:04,299 --> 01:25:05,539 You know what I'd do with this? 2041 01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,431 Do you know what I'd do with this? 2042 01:25:07,502 --> 01:25:10,471 All this area, all this carpet, this ottoman, 2043 01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:11,664 I'd be all over it. 2044 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,205 What are these? 2045 01:25:13,441 --> 01:25:15,170 MALCOLM: Those are my boxers. 2046 01:25:15,343 --> 01:25:16,742 Fascinating. 2047 01:25:17,011 --> 01:25:18,740 (SNIFFS) Oh, yes. 2048 01:25:19,013 --> 01:25:21,709 His methods are so unorthodox. 2049 01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:23,851 (STAMMERS) That's my girlfriend. 2050 01:25:24,052 --> 01:25:25,781 Ah... Kisha. 2051 01:25:25,887 --> 01:25:28,720 That's a crazy bitch name all day. You can google it. 2052 01:25:28,823 --> 01:25:32,987 Top five crazy bitch names. Kisha, Alisha, Djuana. 2053 01:25:33,161 --> 01:25:36,130 You say that out loud, and you're already scared, right? 2054 01:25:36,264 --> 01:25:37,663 Are you done? 2055 01:25:37,799 --> 01:25:39,562 Let's go. Let's go save the bitch.157671

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