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[SIRENS WAILING]

[ROCK MUSIC FAINTLY PLAYING]

¶ ...down a one-way street ¶

¶ I guess I knew That a heart could be cruel ¶

¶ They say love ain't easy ¶

¶ And it must be true ¶

¶ Love ain't easy ¶

¶ But it's hard to keep away from you ¶

Last one.

I'm dressed as a rotten sardine.

We're going to do something new,

something I heard about this afternoon from Eddie.

After the video.

Oh, this is better

than the video, believe me.

Charlie, better than the video?

Believe me.

Better how?

Stand up.

Come here.

This is weird, even for me, but it's right up your alley.

Talk to me.

It's like this...

If your body feels like it's dying,

then we're making love.

Very funny.

No, it's a fact.

Now, just relax.

Charlie, I can't relax. You're hurting me.

You get a surge of sexual excitement

you've never felt before.

Charlie, don't!

I'm doing it for you, damn it.

[GASPING] What are you doing?

You stay away from me.

Babe...

Come on, don't do that.

[GUNSHOTS]

[¶]

NARRATOR: He was brought across in 1228.

Preyed on humans for their blood.

Now he wants to be mortal again...

To repay society for his sins...

To emerge from his world of darkness...

From his endless forever night.

[GROWLS]

Do you understand "no comment?"

Nada comment? Niente comment?

Rein de comment?

MAN: I'm afraid we need a little more room here.

You can't crowd the man.

Okay, look, we have a dead body in here.

Could we clear here, please clear?

Hey, Schanke. Hey, captain.

Is Lynn all right?

She's all right, she's all right.

Perp forced his way inside, almost killed her.

I mean, you should see her neck.

She nailed him with a .22 long,

Ladies' Special.

So it was self-defense?

Right. Two shots in the chest.

She shoots better than most cops' wives I know.

I can't get Myra near a weapon.

Hey, wait a second, this Fiori,

is that our inspector's wife?

Who phoned it in?

She did. Where is she?

She's inside.

She, uh, asked me to inform her husband,

and I phoned up to the cottage,

and he wasn't there.

Excuse me, captain--

Not right now.

Sure.

Lynn, I'm so sorry.

I've done a horrible thing, Joe.

I don't want any special consideration.

We'll get this over as quickly as possible.

As soon as we get your statement,

we'll get a doctor to take a look at your neck.

He looks familiar.

You always say that, Schanke, and guess what?

You're usually wrong.

Well, here's your chance to become a wealthy man.

I'll bet you 50... no, 100 bucks

this guy's got a file as long as my--

Schanke? Yeah, boss?

Get my car brought around to the rear of the building.

You got it.

MAN: Officer?

Hey, Arthur?

You first on the scene?

Oh, yes, sir, me and my partner.

Forget the "sir," okay? My name's Nick.

Mrs. Fiori looks pretty calm now.

How was she when you arrived?

Well, she was crying.

She was saying over and over again,

"It's all my fault."

She didn't tell you

that she shot the man in self-defense?

Oh, yes, sir, uh, Nick.

That's what she said when I walked in,

the first thing, but then, after that,

all she could say was how guilty she felt,

and how it was all her fault.

MAN: Enough talking.

And hold still, both of you.

KNIGHT: She'll do both, Master Pentabosh,

in just a few moments.

Maiden Ilsa,

whatever the source

of the tears that soil your lovely face,

your tears will, if you allow me,

dry up in an instant.

I'm unworthy of your help, kind Nicholas.

There is only one remedy for my guilt.

And yes, kind sir,

it is within your power to remove it.

That's all she talked about until forensics arrived,

her guilt.

She even said she deserved to die.

Anyone talk to the neighbors?

My partner's doing it right now.

Yeah. Let me know, okay?

Well, well, well, if it isn't Artie,

the fascinating forensic.

It's Arthur, Officer Shank.

That's "Detective Schanke," Arthur.

Nice tie.

Arthur, has this cassette been dusted yet?

Yeah, Nick, it has.

Okay. How about the slugs?

Anyone find any?

No. Not yet, but when I do,

you'll be the first to know.

Thanks. Keep looking.

I know that smile.

I dare say you do.

It is the smile of a slam-dunk victory, my friend.

What did I say when I first took a look at the perp's face?

"It looks familiar."

Yes, those were my words exactly,

and what did I find?

Charlie "The Mole" Gubbins, wanted for everything

from white slavery to making pornos

to prostitution.

It's a good thing we didn't bet on it, huh?

Let me hear those beautiful words, partner.

What happened to Mrs. Fiori?

Let me hear the words first.

You were right.

What else?

And I was wrong.

What? I didn't hear you, Nick.

And I was wrong.

You were wrong! Yes!

¶ Da-da-duh, Da-da-da, yeah ¶

¶ He was wrong, hallelujah And I was right ¶

¶ I was right ¶

Where you going?

Don't you want to hear about, um...

No, huh?

Hey, when I outsmart him, he goes to pieces.

Inspector Fiori caught up with us

at the hospital.

He just put his arms around Lynn

and held her.

I started to cry.

I cried.

You don't know them...

so I'm sure this doesn't mean a lot to you,

but, uh...

Captain, I do respect how you feel

and I know they've been friends of yours

for a long time,

but there are some things that don't fit.

The medic confirmed

that she was nearly choked to death.

The perp was a sleaze

with enough probable deadly assaults on his record

to choke a horse.

He died of two bullets in the heart, captain.

Can you conceive of a victim

who's just been choked firing off two shots

at some guy as he comes after her

and hitting him twice in the heart?

There aren't two guys in the precinct

who can do that.

I've been with the Fioris on the firing range

at least 10 times

when Lynn has fired off 20, 30 rounds.

The inspector always thought

that she should know how to shoot,

and Nick, I'm telling you, she's one hell of a shot.

Drop it.

Okay, but there are other things.

Drop it.

Fine. Fine, I'll just put it in my written report.

I'm telling you to drop it!

[SLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

Mm-mm-mm. Wonder what's going to happen next.

[CHUCKLING]

Oh, yes.

Uh, Nick, you had this marked as evidence,

so I thought we should check it out.

Personally,

I found the plumber's performance

to be way over the top,

the flashback sequence to be a tad uneven,

and on the whole,

the story to be quite derivative.

On the Schanke scale of one to 10,

10 being the best,

I'll give it a 13.

That's pretty high praise.

Forensics found the bullets in Fiori's apartment yet?

No, but we do have two new cases.

Murder in the subway and intent to kill

in an all-night bowling alley.

Nick, drop the Fiori case.

It's suicidal, that's what it is.

Is that a fact?

Also, you looking up Fiori's address,

that's suicidal too.

This coming from you,

a man who smokes and eats junk food?

You're telling me I'm suicidal?

Absolutely. If Stonetree finds out

you're still investigating

a shut case involving his best friend,

Inspector Fiori, and the guy's wife,

you're going to find yourself working

on the wrong end of a police pistol range.

You coming in or what?

Let me put it to you another way, okay?

You're on your own.

I'm not here. I never was.

I'm down at the morgue,

checking out the guy who was stabbed in the subway.

Car keys, please.

Pick you up in a half an hour.

Mm, very good.

Quality of customers is improving tonight.

What can I do for you, sugar?

Oh.

Uh, Mr. D.?

This one's for you.

What's the problem?

Detective Knight.

Delitsky. I own this dump.

Yeah. I want to know who rented this video.

That's confidential information.

Yeah, well, I can keep a confidence.

It'll take a warrant.

I've been through this before.

Why don't you take a closer look?

[HEARTBEAT POUNDING]

Wait a minute.

I can tell you this.

Uh, some broad called here a couple of nights ago

and she said that she found the cassette

in the parking place

underneath her apartment building.

Said she'd bring it in today, but, uh...

What was the lady's name?

Uh, I wrote this, but...

[CHUCKLES]

Fair...Fair-fair...Fairmora.

How about "Fiori"?

Could be.

I didn't pay close attention.

Thanks.

Officer, that's my property.

I'd appreciate it if you give it back to me.

Yeah, sure.

When we've done with it.

I'm just worried

she's going to have a nervous breakdown.

Have you thought about taking her away,

someplace she really likes?

She seemed to love Martinique,

and that place down in Mexico,

outside Guadalajara...

Lake Chapala. Yeah.

Oh, God.

When the tabloids get ahold of this,

she's going to be all over the front page,

but if we were in Mexico...

[SIGHS]

I've got to have that press conference tomorrow.

I gave them my word.

I know.

Think about it.

But then there's the preliminary hearing.

Well, that'll be three weeks, at least...

if at all.

I told my partner that's it,

that's Nick's car.

What have you got, Obrigo?

Uh, Mrs. Jungeret,

age 52, Caucasian,

lives two doors down from the Fioris' apartment.

Unfortunately, she wasn't there the night of the shooting.

Nick, Nick, Nick,

can we get on with life here?

That's it?

No, no, no. When shown a photo of the deceased,

she recognized him.

We don't want to hear this.

We don't want to hear this.

When was the last time she saw Charlie Gubbins?

Uh, she saw him in the apartment hallway

on two separate occasions.

Once waiting for the elevator.

Okay, so Gubbins was casing out the joint

or he had a friend there.

I mean, what's the big deal?

I want that in writing on my desk in half an hour, okay?

You got it.

Schanke, will you get me the records

for this video store,

with a warrant for the last six months?

Huh, will you?

Hey, Nick, stay away from Fioris.

Oh, man.

And if there is a preliminary hearing,

then I'll just come back by myself,

and you won't have to be bothered.

That's not a good idea.

How would it look if I wasn't there?

I'm only trying to save you the embarrassment.

I feel stupid saying this,

but I really want to believe that.

Wouldn't life be beautiful

if you really cared about me?

If you'd just thought about me

before you indulged your...

abnormal, contemptible appetites?

Tony, you know it, I know it...

I'm not worthy of you.

Why don't you just divorce me?

I love you.

No matter what you do, Lynn,

I'll always love you.

I don't want you to love me.

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]

What favor would you ask of me

in exchange

for simply tightening your grip until...

until I would be set free?

What crime could you possibly have committed

that torments you so, Ilsa?

I committed a woman's crime,

seduction.

I seduced a gentleman, a nobleman.

I have known seductresses,

and despite your willingness to expose your naked body

to pose here for an artist,

I do not see in you, I do not get from you

the messages or signals that the seductress sends out

with every movement of her mouth,

her face, her body.

You are not a woman. You don't understand.

Even when I don't wish to,

even when I am unaware of what I am doing,

my evil, woman's evil, is at work.

Yes, I know that is the popular belief.

Belief?

Fact.

Proven, taught, preached daily.

Nightly. Where are you from?

Where have you been?

So, my lord,

are you enjoying your artistic experience?

Yes, master painter.

Yes, art has its rewards.

Yes, yes.

You could reap a reward this very night, hmm?

She puts up strenuous resistance,

I'll tell you that, the little vixen.

Oh, but it's worth the effort, I warrant.

[¶]

Which is Nick's desk?

I'll take it.

He said on his desk.

It's that one there.

What am I going to say to the captain

when he asks me about the subway murder?

Nothing.

What are you doing here?

Hope you don't mind.

Schanke just let me know that he was a little worried

that you were jeopardizing your entire--

Is the captain in?

He sure is.

Nick?

Nick!

See what I mean?

Here.

What's this?

I thought I told you to drop it.

Captain, he didn't have any friends in the building,

and he did not force his way into her apartment.

She lied, and if she lied about one thing...

I'm running out of patience with you!

Well, then, you're going to love this.

Forensics didn't find the bullets

because they were looking in the wall.

I found them in a place

that contradicts her story.

How about that?

You've been neglecting

your other duties.

That's going to stop right now.

Well, well, well.

I'd better start looking for a new partner.

Where's that warrant for the video shop?

Listen, I warned you about this.

So you didn't get it?

As soon as the judge found out it was for the Fiori case,

he refused.

He said it was a dead issue.

You could learn something from that, partner.

NATALIE: As I was saying

before I was so rudely interrupted,

after Schanke told me that you were--

Putting your whole career at risk.

Those were my exact words, and guess what?

I was right, again.

Thank you. I thought to myself,

"Well, maybe Nick's on to something here,"

so I checked with a guy who checked with a guy

who runs a pistol range, and guess what?

Turns out that Mrs. Fiori is a crack shot.

I don't want you two to go anywhere till I get back.

Understand?

Yes, sir.

[WHISTLES]

[SCHANKE WHISTLES]

You'd better take copious notes, partner,

because when the captain comes back,

he's going to have a uniform waiting for you.

Oh, that's right.

That's where you started, isn't it, Schanke?

In traffic.

And proud of it.

That's where most of Toronto's finest started.

You could stand to learn something from that.

[WHISTLES]

Where are you off to, Presibich?

Uh, captain said

there's going to be a statement taken.

From who?

Uh, Mrs. Fiori.

He started to choke me because he said that it would...

enhance my sexual pleasure and, uh,

it was hurting me, so I...

I asked for him to stop,

and he didn't.

I was having a hard time breathing.

Finally, I-- I hit him in the stomach...

and I-- I got away,

and I told him to stay away...

but he didn't.

He kept coming after me, and...

he was angry.

He said he was determined to choke me

until I almost died, he said.

I told him to stay away.

I threw things at him,

and, uh, when he came at me again,

I shot him.

Twice.

KNIGHT: Did you not put up a fight?

Did you not resist strenuously, dear Ilsa?

Yes, I did, with all my might, but...

My dear lady,

that is not the behavior of a seductress.

You did not seduce him.

Oh, no. You were raped by him.

Is not that true?

Was he facing you when you shot him?

I don't know.

I...It was dark.

I'm not sure.

So, what happens now?

We get her statement typed up,

she signs it, and we all go home.

[YAWNING] Oh, coffee, coffee, coffee.

The kid needs coffee.

I just don't see the point

in getting a second statement.

Because she lied the first time.

Okay, but the result is the same, isn't it?

I mean, before all this,

she confessed that she killed the man

in self-defense,

so now, other than

the fact that she's admitted that she knew him,

she's again stated

that she shot him in self-defense.

So, what's changed?

What's changed is that now I know for sure

that she didn't pull the trigger.

She didn't do it.

Where I found the slugs

proves that the shots had to be fired

by a taller person,

someone who was standing off to the side,

not in front of Gubbins.

Well, I think he had it coming.

Yeah, well, that's not the issue.

She knew the guy was a sleaze. She found that attractive.

The things he did to her

weren't frightening or shocking.

She enjoyed them.

Until he came up with the choking bit.

Yeah, right.

There's another thing.

I went to their house and overheard a conversation.

She heaps all the blame and guilt on herself.

Yeah, well, there are plenty of us

who have that problem.

You know what?

I almost forgot your veggie drink.

ILSA: We didn't speak,

but I must have been doing something.

I must have caused it,

for I could see it in his eyes.

I seduced him to rape me.

No! No!

Even when I am trying not to be provocative,

my evil comes out.

My hair flutters in the breeze.

My bare feet and ankles are often visible.

No! No!

The buckle of my gown sparkles in the sun.

I beseech you, kind sir, release me from my hell,

or I will take my own life.

[SCREAMS]

Nick.

What?

Oh, no.

Oh.

Bravo.

It's like poison.

One must take just a tiny drop at first

if one is ever to be immune to it.

Poison.

Don't mind me, Nat.

My mind just wandered.

How far? How long ago?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

¶ Walking through the streets ¶

¶ And seeing shadows Moving around you ¶

¶ Half these people don't regret Following in my footsteps ¶

Nicky, you're just in time.

You can help me choose a winner.

I'm here on business.

Oh, how boring for you.

Charlie Gubbins.

And dangerous.

At least he was, until he collided

with his girlfriend's pistol, huh?

Any idea who he hangs out with?

Gubbins? He's right down there

with most of the lowlifes in town.

In fact, guess what?

One of them slithered in here tonight.

Oh, yeah?

Mmm. Who?

What would you do without me?

Oh, I don't ever want to have to face that.

That was the correct answer.

Morgan Delitsky is right...

over there.

A bientôt, cheri.

Hey, Morgan, what's shaking, huh?

It's too bad that your friend Gubbins

got whacked.

Never would have happened if Charlie had known

that that bimbo belonged to a cop.

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's too bad.

Well, come on, come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Ooh, love is sweet. Come on.

Now, last night, some guy came into your video shop

and either offered you a wad of cash

or threatened you, so you lied about that video

that was found at the scene of the crime.

That video, like many others, was rented by Mrs. Fiori.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Schanke.

Am I right?

What took you so long?

You got me into this mess, and now you're leaving?

Hang tough. He'll sign his statement, or we bust him.

You're not talking sense, partner.

Look, Mrs. Fiori did not pull the trigger.

We're going to be shoveling you-know-what

in the police stables.

Yeah, go into Stonetree's office,

get the photo with him and Fiori.

Show it to our sex video merchant.

50-1, his face falls into his socks.

Don't do this to me, Nick.

It's a piece of cake, partner. Trust me.

Piece of cake.

What are you doing with that?

Uh, captain, I can explain.

KNIGHT: Ilsa...

Ilsa?

Ilsa, I found...

Of course.

Why would you trust me?

I'm a man.

They call it "Lady Killer."

It's the most popular with the ladies

because it's the cheapest.

I suppose now I'll have to pay to get her buried.

Mrs. Fiori, I'm sorry. I know it's late.

Detective, I know you can understand,

I don't want to talk about what happened

any further.

Look, I know you didn't kill Charlie Gubbins.

You can help us.

No, you don't understand. This case is over.

I can't take much more of this.

If you don't stay away from me, I don't...

Please...

Just leave us alone.

Mrs. Fiori...

Then he said if I want to stay in business,

I'd tell anybody who asked that Mrs. Fiori found the tape

in the underground apartment parking area,

and that she had called me a few days before

to say she returned it,

but that she wasn't the person who rented it.

Describe the man physically.

It was a guy in his 50s, tall.

He was balding,

but he had, like, gray hair, you know,

like around the fringe,

and he looked like he was built.

For the record, I'm showing Mr. Delitsky

a photograph of two men.

Is the man you just described

in this photograph?

Yeah. It's the guy on the left

with the coat and the hat in his hand.

For the record,

the witness has identified

Inspector Anthony Fiori.

LYNN: Why don't you tell me why you're here?

Tony and I, we don't have any secrets,

and I just... want this to be finished.

Okay.

We know you didn't kill Charles Gubbins.

I killed him...

the first time I ever laid eyes on him.

The first time I saw him

and I decided that I had to have him.

The first time I took him to our apartment

so that we could make love.

Then you're guilty of adultery, not murder.

You hear me, Lynn?

That's grounds for divorce, okay?

But you didn't pull the trigger.

I know you're feeling responsible

about Gubbins' death,

but you're not the executioner.

You'll feel guilty about it

for the rest of your life,

I know that.

But you did not commit murder.

I just have to go get dressed.

You're making me nervous.

Well, she's desperate, Nat.

I'm afraid what she might do.

Do? Like what?

Like kill her husband and maybe herself.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

It's for you.

Oh, thanks. Yeah?

Nick, you'd better get over here fast.

Why? What's happening?

Captain took off after the sex video guy

ID'd Inspector Fiori as the man

who told him to lie about the cassette.

Stonetree's gone to confront Fiori?

You should have seen the look in his eyes when he left.

Okay, get some uniforms and meet me there.

Nick, I don't want to be

banging on doors at Fiori's house,

especially if they're sitting there

talking there peacefully.

I mean, I'd look a little bit like a fool.

Okay, call him first. I'm on my way.

So, what happened?

[WHOOSH]

Lynn has just admitted

that she didn't kill Gubbins.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

The guy at the sex video store ID'd you, Tony.

If you've got a weapon, leave it here.

You're coming in too.

Lynn, what did you tell him?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

That'd be the precinct.

STONETREE: Hello?

[DIAL TONE]

Oh, my God.

Drive his car to the beach

and take a taxi home.

Do it.

[¶]

[CAR HORN HONKING]

What's up?

Nobody's here

and there's no sign of the captain's car.

Okay, great. Thanks.

I checked, and Stonetree's not at the precinct.

We'd better put an APB out

on Fiori's car and the captain's.

Why?

Fresh blood on the plant.

Mrs. Fiori?

I can't.

Could you come with me, please?

Come on.

I can't.

Let's go.

[SOBBING SOFTLY]

SCHANKE: Would he take the captain to your country cottage?

I don't know. I don't think so.

I'd like to say take your time,

I'd like to tell you

we'll talk about it in the morning,

but I can't, Mrs. Fiori.

We've got to know right now.

If we're going to save his life.

I'm trying to think.

Come on, you know

where your husband's taken Stonetree.

I know you do.

You felt inferior, corrupt.

You seduced Gubbins,

and you've done whatever necessary

to protect your husband,

but tonight, something changed.

While you were driving the captain's car,

something changed.

Well, that's why you're here.

Tell us right now, Mrs. Fiori,

or you'll be responsible for the captain's death.

Thank you.

Killing someone

and letting your wife take the rap,

15 years ago, 10 years ago,

you never would have laid down in the gutter for that.

I couldn't lose her.

How would that have made me look?

Gubbins was scum,

but he was no real threat to our marriage.

If she wanted

a little something on the side,

at least I could control that.

You knew?

I could have put that weasel away anytime.

He took the games too far.

He was going to hurt her.

My wife!

"Till death do us part," Joe.

Lynn and me, we stick together.

Because if she doesn't, you kill her too?

Right.

FIORI: She's no good without me.

I'm sorry it's you

caught in the middle of this, Joe,

But it is.

[BANGING]

[GUNFIRE]

Captain, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

Don't worry, I'll get him.

No. This is my fight.

Come on, captain.

I'll go around the front.

You take the back.

All right.

Give it up, Tony. You got nowhere to go.

I'm not coming out till this gun's empty.

You know that, Joe.

Anthony Fiori, you're under arrest

for the murder of Charles Gubbins.

Anything you say may be used against you--

Get away from me!

This is your last chance, Tony. Give me the gun.

NICK: Captain, no!

[GUNSHOT]

Get a gurney in here! The captain's been hit.

It's just a flesh wound.

Come on, come on!

Move it! Move it!

I think it took a lot of guts

to face him down, captain.

Nah, you don't understand.

He was my friend. He taught me a lot.

He helped me get promoted to captain.

I would've died for him.

You almost did, sir.

You know something, cap?

I'm glad you didn't.

Likewise.

Come on.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hello.

NATALIE: You're awake. Finally.

Just barely. How's the picnic?

It's great.

There's only one thing missing, though. You.

I think it would spoil the fun if I started to smolder

between the hot dog and the ice cream courses.

Oh, hey, it's almost sunset.

You could come over now.

I don't think so, Nat.

Oh, come on, everybody's asking

about you.

Gee, I wonder where Nick is? See?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, all right. I'll be there shortly.

Did you hear what I said?

All right, play nice, don't fight,

and stay away from the girls. Now, get going.

Hey! About time.

You missed the whole game.

Who won?

Schanke's Scorchers, of course. 11 to zip.

Yeah!

Captain pitched a no-hitter.

His leg okay?

We should be so strong. Want some?

Not for me, thanks. Hey! Excuse me.

Congratulations, captain.

I'm sorry I missed it.

Missed what?

Oh. It was a good game,

but that new ump was one tough cookie.

Fiori was always a lot more...lenient.

You'll miss him, won't you?

When's the trial?

Three weeks.

But it's not him I'm worried about.

This whole thing

has really taken its toll on Lynn.

How's she doing?

She's a mess.

She's trying to work it out with a therapist.

I don't know how Tony

could make her live like that.

Well, with any luck,

she'll divorce him and start her own life.

They call it "Lady Killer."

It's the most popular with the ladies

because it's the cheapest.

Not luck, Nat. Courage.

Well, I'd better go see if my wife needs anything.

Take it easy, captain.

You know, Nat,

with all the changes over the years

that I've seen for women,

for some, it seems nothing's changed.

For some of us, it has.

For millions of us.

And I have the pleasure and pain

of knowing one of you.

Lucky you.

[¶]

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