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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:08,174 Another Oktoberfest in the books. 2 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,634 Now how are we getting home? 3 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,927 Steve doesn't have a license. 4 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:14,973 I'm hammered. Francine's wasted and Hayley is way too drunk to drive. 5 00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:16,641 How can you tell? 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:21,021 Because when you abuse alcohol, I like you more as a person. 7 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,188 I can drive. 8 00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:25,650 I stayed sober all night just so I could be the designated driver. 9 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,820 What about Jeff? 10 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,905 He can't. Remember? 11 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,908 He shattered his legs in the beer stein race. 12 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:36,286 Oh, God! My legs! 13 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,014 Gross! Get outta here! 14 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,622 Come on, Stan. Throw me the keys. 15 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,374 Absolutely not. 16 00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:44,228 - What's the problem? - I already texted Klaus. 17 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,171 He'll get us home safe. 18 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:49,090 You guys want Klaus to drive instead of me? 19 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,009 Heck yeah, we do. 20 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,406 Klaus in the house. 21 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:59,267 More like Klaus in the truck. Hop in. 22 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,646 - Will you please take me to the ER? - No way. 23 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,859 I'm not wasting my buzz sitting around an ehmergmency room. 24 00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,546 But the hospital's on the way home. 25 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,114 I could've skipped the hospital just as well as Klaus. 26 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,843 Oh, please, legs heal. 27 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,245 But there's no greater pain than staying sober all night for nothing. 28 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:27,921 Good morning, USA 29 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:31,424 I got a feeling That it's gonna be a wonderful day. 30 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,511 The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face. 31 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,223 And he's shining a salute To the American race. 32 00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:44,145 Oh, boy, it's swell to say. 33 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,564 Good morning, USA Ah! 34 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,694 Good morning, USA. 35 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:58,368 I can't believe none of you would let me drive last night. 36 00:01:58,576 --> 00:02:00,596 I was so upset, I had to journal about it, 37 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,806 and that's when I realized 38 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,542 none of you have gotten in a car with me for the past six months. Why not? 39 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,521 I'm just going to say it. You're the worst driver in the world. 40 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:11,923 Hayley, please, you know how much I love pointing out Roger's flaws, 41 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,068 but it's best we leave this to a professional. 42 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,238 That's why I scheduled an appointment with our insurance adjuster. 43 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,556 You think I need my insurance adjusted? 44 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,475 Well, I think you need your attitude adjusted. 45 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,733 Insurance adjuster Heinrich Brown. 46 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:32,485 Please, come in. 47 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:33,820 I'll make some room for you. 48 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,573 Oh, God, my arms! 49 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,927 Thank you, Stan. I'm here to explain the reasons Uncle Roger's a threat 50 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:42,579 to everything I hold dear as an insurance adjuster. 51 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,038 To do so, 52 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:48,543 I'll be using a form of street poetry colloquially known as rap. 53 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,504 Get up. Uh! Uh! 54 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,816 My name is Heinrich Brown And I'm here to say. 55 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,259 Uncle Roger drives in a terrible way. 56 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,095 Behind the wheel, he's negligent. 57 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,722 I'm sorry. 58 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,307 I just... I can't. 59 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,978 This hardened exterior is a lie. 60 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,539 I only pretend to be tough 61 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:11,292 because working in insurance requires a lot of machismo. 62 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,276 But I need to be honest with myself. 63 00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,654 I don't want to rap. I want to. 64 00:03:16,779 --> 00:03:19,699 Sing! 65 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:25,371 Uncle Roger, frankly There should be a hall of fame. 66 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,457 For all your accidents. 67 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:31,419 I heard they were building one and you drove right through it. 68 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:34,547 I guess the only thing left to say is. 69 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:36,442 All right, here we go. 70 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,610 Full singing 71 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,719 Roger, you know. 72 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:44,599 That you don't belong on the road. 73 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:49,062 But you can't let go. 74 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,416 It's so apropos. 75 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:57,153 That we're increasing your deductible 76 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,530 I told you I saw a bunch of people in the basement. 77 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:01,199 I still don't believe you. 78 00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:05,828 No, you don't belong on the road. 79 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:11,477 But you can't let go. 80 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,938 Every single day. 81 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:19,050 You cause Stan to crash into a flag pole. 82 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,972 Oh, he's bashing. 83 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:28,434 He's going down, down, down 84 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,895 Roger, you know. 85 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:36,526 - That you don't belong on the road. - Somehow, so he walks away every time. 86 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,195 But you can't let go. 87 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:44,075 This song hurts my feelings, which sucks because it's already stuck in my head. 88 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,578 What a fabulous concert. Is this free? 89 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:51,124 It feels free because it's bundled with your insurance plan. 90 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,001 Free, free, free! 91 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,400 Dear journal. 92 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:03,428 I hope I can trust you in the way no one trusts me, which is a lot. 93 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,824 I'm still upset no one in this family will let me drive. 94 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,100 Roger, I know this is a great chance for a joke. 95 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,768 But I want to get straight to it. 96 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:13,604 I'm willing to give you driving lessons. 97 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,608 I guess I'd get to drive your sick truck. 98 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,695 Yes, but you have to be extremely careful. 99 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:23,197 My truck is a highly specific shade of orange 100 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,302 that's been proven to cause epileptic seizures. 101 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,161 So they don't make parts for it anymore. 102 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,806 To earn the family's trust back, 103 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,851 you're going to have to show them you can focus while you're driving. 104 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,335 Hey, look, a sign! 105 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,838 He's still allowed to adopt? 106 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:42,050 - Roger, God damn it, watch the road. - I can laugh and watch the... 107 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,469 Whee! 108 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,599 You crashed my perfect truck into that hideous Tesla. 109 00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,642 Hmm. Tesla. 110 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,686 You better have good insurance, pal. 111 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,565 Oh, God. The orange of your truck is so highly... 112 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:03,696 Tesla, Tesla. 113 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,452 Roger, why did you invite us to Soso's? 114 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,245 Yeah, this place sucks. 115 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,916 It smells like cheap marinara and unpaid child support. 116 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,543 And the food, it tastes... 117 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,963 I want to say, bad? 118 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,508 Okay, you guys need to stop shitting on Soso's. 119 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,677 This is a perfectly fine restaurant for families on a budget. 120 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:27,970 Then why don't you eat some? 121 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,223 What? No, I don't want to die. 122 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,452 Speaking of not dying, I am finally willing to accept 123 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,144 that none of you want me to drive. 124 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,270 Thank you, Roger. 125 00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,481 We appreciate you respecting our wishes. 126 00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:40,042 Sorry. You didn't let me finish. 127 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:43,361 I'm willing to accept that none of you want me to drive 128 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,570 on Earth. 129 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:12,557 Wow. I've heard about five-star dining, but this is ridiculous. 130 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,936 Looks like at Soso's it's not just the savings that are out of this world. 131 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,688 No, no. I should take this seriously. 132 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:22,400 After all, there's a certain "gravity" to this situation. 133 00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,235 We have fun. 134 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:31,385 Roger, what the hell is going on? 135 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,618 That's a fair question. 136 00:07:33,077 --> 00:07:35,848 See, Soso's Pizzas are alien spaceships 137 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:38,791 placed throughout America in preparation for the reckoning. 138 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:42,229 Which is when an obscure alien race will destroy humanity 139 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,047 if they ever stop making Law & Order: SVU. 140 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,678 Everyone and their grandma knows about the reckoning. 141 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:53,973 We want to know what's going on with us being in space. 142 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,642 Well, earlier, through no fault of my own, 143 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,020 I crashed Klaus' truck into a Tesla. 144 00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:02,356 That's when I remembered Tesla put a car in space. 145 00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:04,650 And now that's where we are, space. 146 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,152 But why? 147 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,989 Because driving in space is way harder than driving on land. 148 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,659 Up here, even the slightest mistake will get us all killed. 149 00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:16,370 So if I can do this, you'll have no choice 150 00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,539 but to trust me behind the wheel of a car. 151 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,417 That's your plan to get us to trust you? 152 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:25,087 Yep. It was this or completely changing my personality 153 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,465 and earning it over the next five to 10 years. 154 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,343 So you can see how space makes a lot more sense for me. 155 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,724 I've got news. 156 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,435 The local Soso's Pizza was obliterated 157 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,562 in what people who might not even have been there 158 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,065 are calling a freak gas explosion. 159 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,274 No! 160 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,611 My babe and babe-in-laws were at that Soso's! 161 00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,508 You lost your wife. 162 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,658 I lost my truck. 163 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,826 Could the day get any worse? 164 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:59,372 Hey, fish, I heard about your dead family and totaled car. 165 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,959 I'm sorry you're feeling down, but your premiums are going up. 166 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,384 Okay, going to keep it real simple. 167 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,428 Just a few quick maneuvers, then it's right back to Earth. 168 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:25,356 Ta-dah! 169 00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,191 Watch out, Tesla. 170 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:34,198 Did you just get into a car accident in space? 171 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,344 And is it just me, or are we drifting 172 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,912 further and further from our sweet Mother Gaia? 173 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:42,873 Not to worry. 174 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:46,210 This is a perfect excuse to show off my most impressive 175 00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:48,421 and unnecessary space maneuver. 176 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,924 It's called a planetary slingshot, and it's when... 177 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:56,762 You use the gravitational pull of a planet to accelerate or slingshot 178 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,181 your spacecraft toward your destination. 179 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:00,808 The math checks out. 180 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:04,103 FYI, you absolutely cannot look at the sun. 181 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:08,107 Looking directly into the sun at this proximity causes sun madness. 182 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,567 - Francine? - That's right. 183 00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,545 And once you go sun mad, 184 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:15,424 you'll become so infatuated by that big ball of gas 185 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,284 that you'll do anything to burn up inside her. 186 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,328 Including foreplay. 187 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,001 Take us home, Venus. 188 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,255 Screwed the pooch on that one. 189 00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:35,468 But if at first you don't succeed, come on, Mercury! 190 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,973 Well, third time's the charm. 191 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,809 But there's only two planets between Earth and the sun. 192 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,394 Nuh-uh. What about that one? 193 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,480 That's no planet. 194 00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:49,148 It's a pepperoni. 195 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,277 Bad. So bad. 196 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,530 No big deal. I can turn around and fly home without a problem. 197 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,300 With one problem. 198 00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,909 We're running low on fuel. 199 00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:01,535 But we can still get back, right? 200 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,454 Oh, please let me do the math. 201 00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,956 It's like I'm living in my own word problem. 202 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:10,586 Let's see. A ship of this size, account for the distance... 203 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,421 Good news, family. 204 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,964 If we continue at this speed, 205 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,592 we should have enough fuel to get home in 206 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,678 seven years? 207 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,615 What the hell, Roger? Your driving has ruined our lives. 208 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:24,868 All you've proven is that we were right not to trust you behind the wheel. 209 00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:27,913 - Maybe we shouldn't trust you all. - Fine. 210 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,146 I'm going to go journal 211 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:32,358 and you better believe this next entry will be scathing. 212 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,570 Oh, God. 213 00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:39,740 I would do anything to not feel this sad. 214 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,828 Well, research shows, and I don't want to do this, 215 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:47,998 but when two grief stricken adults lose everything but each other, 216 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,085 they heal their pain through boinking. 217 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,753 That's just science. 218 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:57,633 Ergo, my scientific term "boinking" instead of, you know, 219 00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,094 sex. 220 00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:05,659 Uh, no offense, Mr. Klaus, but I really don't want 221 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,310 to get on the train to Boinksville with you. 222 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,437 Me neither. 223 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,856 Let's hold out as long as we can. 224 00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:19,238 I spy with my little eye something that is... 225 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,948 I know. Is it a star? 226 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,867 This is going to be a long seven years. 227 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,410 It's like a star, 228 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:28,581 but it's more like a pizzeria. And it's headed straight towards us. 229 00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:42,720 It's docking. Someone, or something, is trying to come aboard. 230 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,565 Hey, gang. It's me, Roger. 231 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,275 No, I'm Roger. 232 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,443 We're both Roger. 233 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,196 Only difference is I'm from the future. 234 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,658 And my space tan makes me a teensy bit sexier. 235 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:13,793 So you're me, but from the future? 236 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,313 Oh. Hard to believe I was ever that naive. 237 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,547 But yes, you little cherub, I am. 238 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,858 How far into the future? 239 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:23,135 Three whole days. 240 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:26,013 That's not far, but still unusual. 241 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,723 How did you travel back to us? 242 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,493 I popped through a little wormhole. 243 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,619 That's impossible. 244 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,979 - If you suck at driving, it is. - Ha! He got you, Roger. 245 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,524 Hey, um, where's the future us? 246 00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,068 They died a couple days ago. 247 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:40,861 I'm still a little sad about it. 248 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,988 Oh, that's terrible. Please, let us know... 249 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,657 Wait a minute. Do you mean us? 250 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,867 That's what I came back to warn you about. 251 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:50,996 If you stick with your plan to get back to Earth the slow way, you die. 252 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:56,335 Your only chance of getting home is to slingshot the sun. 253 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,921 Slingshotting? Sounds promising. 254 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,589 You're just going to trust this guy. 255 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,318 Look, young blood, you're the one who got us in this mess. 256 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,718 I'm trying to get us out of it. 257 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,514 That settles it. Future Roger is gonna slingshot us around the sun. 258 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,308 Great. I like future Roger. 259 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:16,397 He's got a weathered look that gives me wise cowboy vibes. 260 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,232 Mighty kind of you, little lady. 261 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,794 It feels great to have everyone's trust. 262 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,528 You'll just have to trust me on that. 263 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,238 Want your diary, buddy? 264 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,341 It's not a diary. It's a journal. 265 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,051 Like an explorer has. 266 00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,077 I'm exploring my inner thoughts. 267 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,042 Wait a second. 268 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:40,045 This entry is dated three days from now. 269 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,131 This is future me's journal. 270 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,509 Dear journal. Some good news for a change. 271 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,512 I've fallen in love and you'll never guess who with. 272 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:52,850 Her name is the sun and I long to die inside her. 273 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,061 Alas, my family doesn't understand my love. 274 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,667 By the time we settled our differences, we'd been flying in circles so long 275 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,152 that the ship was almost completely out of fuel. 276 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:07,448 But if my calculations are correct, I should have just enough fuel 277 00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:10,409 to get to a nearby wormhole and travel back in time. 278 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,203 Then I'll be able to take the past Smiths' ship 279 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,997 and fly us all right into the sun. 280 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:18,375 Holy crap. 281 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,920 Future me has gone totally sun mad. 282 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:23,964 And now the only one who can stop me is now me. 283 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,010 Soon, my sweet. 284 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,511 Soon. 285 00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:33,116 Hey there, whippersnapper. What you been up to? 286 00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,852 Oh, nothing. Just catching up on some light reading. 287 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,996 My journal! 288 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,041 I suppose that means you know the sun and I are lovers. 289 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:44,568 That old flooz? Buddy of mine raw-dogged her in Cancun, 290 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,570 said he caught a wicked case of melanoma. 291 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:49,949 Oh, sure. Slut shame the sun, real mature. 292 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,784 And so what? We all have a past. 293 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:52,993 Oh, a past? 294 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:55,055 Is that why she still wakes up every morning 295 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:57,206 and gives it to an entire hemisphere? 296 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,717 Oh, shit balls. 297 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,197 Rogers, what's going on here? 298 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,348 Oh, Stan, it was awful. 299 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,661 I was preparing for our slingshot when he detached my ship 300 00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,663 and threw my journal into space. 301 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:21,188 Roger, how could you? 302 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,607 You know how important that journal is to yourself. 303 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,668 It was him. 304 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,752 He's trying to kill us. 305 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,087 He has sun madness. 306 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,278 You've got to believe me. 307 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,405 No, I don't. 308 00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:30,906 If I couldn't trust you before, 309 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,325 there's certainly no reason for me to trust you now. 310 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,761 Come on, future Roger. 311 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,036 Let's get you outta here. 312 00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,347 It's all a ruse. 313 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,224 He's selfish and manipulative. 314 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,166 He cares more about getting what he wants 315 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,836 than he does about this family's safety... Oh! 316 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,524 This is what it's like for the family all the time. 317 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,966 I get it now. 318 00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:52,136 Wow. When will I stop growing? 319 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:01,311 - Roger. - Roger. 320 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,732 I took the liberty of upgrading your seat belts. 321 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,987 - Good looking out. - We can always count on you. 322 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,381 Now that you're restrained, 323 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,949 I should probably mention that I have sun madness. 324 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,702 Completely addicted to the sun. 325 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,389 But don't worry, I'm working through a 12-step program 326 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,957 and the first step is admitting I have a problem. 327 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,461 The second step, flying directly into the sun. 328 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,008 Why isn't it working? 329 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,093 I knew you'd try something like this, 330 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:35,804 which is why I sabotaged your accelerator. 331 00:17:35,929 --> 00:17:40,309 It's also why I rewired the emergency eject button to be over here. 332 00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,478 Goodbye, Roger. 333 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,749 I'm three days older than you. 334 00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,357 You think I didn't see this coming? 335 00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,461 I knew you'd try to sabotage me. 336 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:52,362 Which is why I put the real eject button over here. 337 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,301 You must be getting slow in your old age, 338 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,827 because I knew you'd know that I'd deceive you. 339 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,497 Which is why I put the real eject button over here. 340 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,834 You didn't think I'd know you knew I knew you'd know? 341 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,212 The real eject button is over here. 342 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,633 Would you kill each other already? 343 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,277 You're a worthy opponent, 344 00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,471 but there's one thing you didn't count on, the truth. 345 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:21,767 That's right. This whole time, the real emergency eject button has been 346 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,061 the emergency eject button. 347 00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:28,190 Well played, but it's not over yet. 348 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,235 Good luck trying to push a button without any hands. 349 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:38,325 You jagoffs got confused by the temporal paradox. 350 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:39,993 You're future him. 351 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:44,349 - So when you cut off your hands... - I'm only cutting off my own hands. 352 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:47,584 Which gives me the upper hand. 353 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,509 Joke's on you. 354 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,887 I'm headed right into the fiery arms of my beloved. 355 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,537 No! I'm stuck in perfect orbit! 356 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:10,524 But if I can't be inside you, at least I can pleasure myself to your presence. 357 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,277 Oh, God, no hands. 358 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:14,862 Roger. 359 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,573 You saved us from yourself. 360 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:18,782 Maybe. 361 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,827 But if I want you to trust me, I have to be honest with you. 362 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,913 And the big truth is, I can't drive. 363 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,672 We've entered the sun's gravitational field. 364 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,425 Our only way out is to pull off a slingshot. 365 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:37,718 What do you say, Roger? 366 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,697 Can we trust you with our lives twice in one hour? 367 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,805 I don't know. 368 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,409 - You can do this, Roger. - We believe in you. 369 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:47,245 Personally, I think this family is a little too quick to forgive. 370 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:48,395 You're right. 371 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,440 With your trust behind me, I can do anything. 372 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,745 It's so hot. We're too close. 373 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:07,873 - Wait for it. - She's falling apart! 374 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,625 Almost there. 375 00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,423 Now! 376 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,554 Whee! 377 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,265 - Great job, Roger. - You did it. 378 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:26,683 What a slingshot. 379 00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:29,412 Does this mean I'm driving to Oktoberfest next year? 380 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,022 - Only if you don't drink. - Yeah, never mind. 381 00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,418 I'm still sad. 382 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,486 My whole family's dead. 383 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,780 I'm still sad about my truck. 384 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:42,199 - I give in. - Me, too. 385 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,534 Let's heal. 386 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:49,331 - Oh, he's grieving. - Grieving. 387 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,602 On that rundown train to Boinksville. 388 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:55,796 Getting on that rundown train to Boinksville. 389 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,756 Smooch, smooch! 390 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,841 Get back in the basement. 29879

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