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1
00:00:03,610 --> 00:00:05,530
Isn't this nice?
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:09,440
It feels good knowing the only
thing going on in our lives
3
00:00:09,490 --> 00:00:12,580
right now
is a new loose leaf tea kettle.
4
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,270
After the year we had,
5
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,450
I could get used to
these low-key days.
6
00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:18,630
I love you, F-F-F...
7
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:21,800
Fire station open houses!
8
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:25,110
Oh!
9
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,630
Fire station open house, Francine!
10
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:27,480
C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
11
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,510
Where are you going?
12
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,500
Good job.
13
00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:09,550
Put out that fire.
14
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,420
I found the horn!
15
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,250
Man, these are great.
16
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,520
So, we've gone over
some basic fire safety.
17
00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,780
Are there any questions?
18
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,390
Why is fire so hot?
19
00:01:24,430 --> 00:01:26,300
Dumb. Dumb question.
20
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:28,220
Maybe because it's burning.
21
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,360
Okay, folks, get
your raffle tickets out.
22
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,360
Time to see who'll be Langley's
23
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,880
- Honorary Firefighter!
- Wait, what did he say?
24
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:42,620
The winner will get
to spend a week
25
00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,710
hanging with us, learning,
26
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,850
and maybe even go
on the truck to a real fire.
27
00:01:48,890 --> 00:01:50,240
There's a raffle?
28
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,330
But I didn't buy a ticket.
29
00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:53,200
31.
30
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,750
Wait, please let this pancake
be my ticket.
31
00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:56,290
Who has 31?
32
00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:58,680
31?
33
00:01:58,730 --> 00:02:01,430
I think that's me.
34
00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:03,210
Now that you've threaded
35
00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:05,650
your needle, you'll need
to bring the point down
36
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,210
and through the canvas.
37
00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:08,910
Down and...
38
00:02:08,950 --> 00:02:10,520
Outta my way!
39
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,480
What the hell?!
40
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,790
Stan, you're really redefining
41
00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:18,220
the concept of "open kitchen."
42
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,580
I will swallow you whole.
43
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,750
Talk about an open kitch...
44
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,280
No, Hayley, don't!
45
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,200
Why, Dad, why?!
46
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:33,760
He's having a meltdown
47
00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:35,890
because I won some raffle
48
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:38,160
to spend a week
with the Fire Department.
49
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,810
I've always longed to be
a firefighter,
50
00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,470
and I was so close,
51
00:02:41,510 --> 00:02:44,950
until a certain sexy
little Benedict Arnold
52
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:47,210
hypnotized me with her long legs
53
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,560
into forgetting
there was a raffle.
54
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,170
Oh, grow up.
55
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:52,560
You've been like this
since the day we got married.
56
00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:54,610
A highly sexual
and reasonable man?
57
00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:58,480
A man who overreacts
when he doesn't get his way.
58
00:02:58,530 --> 00:03:01,700
Oh, and I suppose you'd
call this an overreaction.
59
00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:02,707
Hayley, turn on the stove.
60
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,840
Steve, time me.
61
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,140
Fire!
62
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:11,410
Can I just say that I have
a needle inside me?!
63
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:16,410
- Time.
- Enough, Stan.
64
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:19,370
I'm obviously gonna give you
the raffle ticket.
65
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:21,810
Do you mean it?
I get to go fire-manning?
66
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:24,730
Yeah, Stan, I just hope
it makes you happy.
67
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:27,470
Oh, it does, Francine.
It really does.
68
00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:34,340
Hey, thanks for helping me present
69
00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:35,740
this environmental report.
70
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,440
I get so nervous
speaking in public.
71
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,520
No, thank you, Hayley.
72
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:43,270
For showing me what's really
going on in this town.
73
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,960
These corporations.
74
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:46,830
These sleazeballs.
75
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,580
These thugs.
76
00:03:48,620 --> 00:03:50,620
Stop spitting on me!
77
00:03:50,660 --> 00:03:53,490
Next up, Uncle... Roger?
78
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,280
The topic of biodiversity loss
79
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,720
and its effect on local
grasslands and mangroves.
80
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,500
Oof, now I'm nervous.
81
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:00,810
You got this.
82
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,900
Alright, trees in the park,
blah blah blah.
83
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,510
Cut 'em all down, I say.
Here's the real deal.
84
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,860
The ancient art of Knife Throwing.
85
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,030
God damn it.
86
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,650
I am Rudolfo Mayerling.
87
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,870
After years spent quietly
perfecting my craft...
88
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,910
and in court with
a badly wounded assistant...
89
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,610
I am here to announce
a two-night performance
90
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:27,790
in which I will present the most
daring act ever put to stage.
91
00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:30,750
And for the big finish
of my presentation...
92
00:04:35,580 --> 00:04:37,840
Flyers for my show.
93
00:04:37,890 --> 00:04:39,580
Oh, wait, I grabbed
the wrong stack.
94
00:04:39,630 --> 00:04:41,720
High school
air guitar competition?
95
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,760
Oh, damn, I could win that.
96
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,890
Anyway, come to my knife show.
97
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:50,290
You know, Klaus,
I'm a patient woman,
98
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:53,380
but it's like they're not
even trying to resurrect
99
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,820
the World's Fair.
100
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:59,430
Oh, it's our little firefighter.
101
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:00,730
Hi, honey.
102
00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,000
Not good, actually.
103
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,820
It's not like my dreams at all.
104
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:06,350
I thought it would be
60% fighting fires
105
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,090
and the other half
shooting the breeze.
106
00:05:08,130 --> 00:05:10,350
But they got me cookin'
casseroles 'round the clock,
107
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,010
and I think they're bullying me.
108
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:15,580
Unless, is, "Hurry up,
casser-hole" a compliment?
109
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,580
God, I knew it.
110
00:05:18,620 --> 00:05:20,750
The only thing I get to do
is drive the truck...
111
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,840
Really? That sounds amazing.
112
00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,760
Can I finish? Can I finish?
113
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,890
I can only use it
to go to Trader Joe's
114
00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:28,940
for more casserole ingredients.
115
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:32,590
Well, Stan, you could always
just not do any of this.
116
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,550
Quit? I knew you wouldn't get it.
117
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,560
Thank God I'm here,
surrounded by my real friends.
118
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,730
Alright, I gotta go.
The guys put a shit-ton
119
00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:42,560
of IcyHot on my balls and anus.
120
00:05:48,650 --> 00:05:51,000
So, what do we need to get
to fix the kitchen?
121
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,440
Plaster, some primer,
122
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,360
three people that know
what they're doing.
123
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,140
Excuse me. Sorry. I know, I know.
124
00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,710
I'm sorry.
It's a fire truck, okay?
125
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,360
They really do send him here.
126
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:05,060
You can't park that here!
127
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:08,110
Gimme a break. I just need
10 spots in a row to open up.
128
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,800
Great.
129
00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:12,550
You know he's gonna bring home
all that frustration
130
00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:13,980
and drag us down with him.
131
00:06:14,030 --> 00:06:16,110
They should just let him
put out a fire.
132
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,940
Throw him a bone, ya know?
133
00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:21,470
That might be what we all need.
134
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,990
Mind cracking the window if you...
135
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:30,690
A little fire is all he needs.
136
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:33,480
This'll do.
137
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,530
And I know I've got matches
in here somewhere.
138
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,660
Phone. Brick.
139
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,880
- What up, Franny!
- Got 'em.
140
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,510
Hi.
141
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,470
Oh, my.
142
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,510
Stan!
143
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,730
I...
144
00:07:09,780 --> 00:07:11,690
Aye aye aye is right.
145
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:13,040
That fire was hot.
146
00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:14,170
And I put it out.
147
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:16,870
Did you see? I'm a firefighter.
148
00:07:16,910 --> 00:07:19,050
That felt. So good.
149
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:21,050
Yeah, it...
150
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:22,920
- did.
- I wanna do it again.
151
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,490
- I need to.
- Me, too.
152
00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:28,490
What? I'm a hero.
153
00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:29,670
I know that!
154
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,580
These are now honks of support!
155
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:38,240
And since I put the fire out
and got the casserole fixings...
156
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,720
maple bacon sweet potato
for the win, beyotch...
157
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,940
the whole team said
I'm one of them now.
158
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:44,550
More Crêpes Suzette, anyone?
159
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,160
No, thank you.
160
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,600
I'm gonna get to go on calls
for actual fires.
161
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,600
Opa!
162
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,000
Okay, I'd better shove off.
163
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,870
Walk me to the door, my beloveds?
164
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,830
- Sure.
- You got it, Pops.
165
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:04,090
Alright, lady, what's the deal?
166
00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:07,570
I saw your face
after you started that fire.
167
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,620
Did you... like it?
168
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:10,920
No!
169
00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:12,840
I dunno.
170
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,100
There was something
about striking the match,
171
00:08:16,150 --> 00:08:21,590
seeing the flame grow
and become so untamed.
172
00:08:21,630 --> 00:08:24,630
I did feel this release.
173
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,510
And you saw Stan.
174
00:08:26,550 --> 00:08:28,200
If it's not doing any harm
175
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,600
and makes things
better around here...
176
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,210
He was pleasant just now.
177
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:36,820
So long as it doesn't become
a destructive fixation for you,
178
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:39,610
which I'm seeing
no warning signs of yet,
179
00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:43,170
this could be a classic
two birds one stone situation.
180
00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:44,960
Aren't those the best?
181
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,700
Like how cigarettes taste good
and suppress
182
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,530
your appetite to keep you skinny.
183
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,790
Yes! Yes.
184
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,840
A wonderful comparison
to a wonderful product.
185
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:02,020
For years, my knife throwing
peers have bored us
186
00:09:02,060 --> 00:09:04,670
with displays of sticking
the knife's tip
187
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,940
within a fraction of an inch
of their subject.
188
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,590
- Can we go?
- We live here.
189
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:12,900
Tonight, I will debut the mark
of the "Artful Wound."
190
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:15,340
For a true master does not miss.
191
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:16,640
But cuts...
192
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,250
and draws a single.
193
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,690
Drop. Of blood.
194
00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:22,130
Sa-sah!
195
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:23,170
Oh, shit.
196
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,220
Okay, this is gonna be bad.
197
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,740
My assistant Benny.
198
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:35,140
Let's begin.
199
00:09:35,180 --> 00:09:37,050
Knife man!
200
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,530
Damn it.
201
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,760
Pop dat!
202
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,800
Teeee'yop Corner!
203
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,760
Left-handed! Bank Shot!
204
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,760
Buncha knives at once!
205
00:09:49,810 --> 00:09:52,370
Benny, stop flinching,
it's making me nervous.
206
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,110
- Roger.
- Oh, hey, Steve.
207
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,680
Stop doing this.
208
00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:57,230
Oh, don't worry.
This is all part of the act.
209
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,950
They don't want to see perfection.
210
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,250
They want to think
something could go wrong.
211
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,040
People are so sick.
212
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,780
Now for my final throw
of the evening.
213
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:08,260
I present... the Artful Wound.
214
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,180
Shame! Shame on you!
215
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,870
This is gonna be insane.
216
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,320
Baby!
217
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:32,240
No one'll miss this thing.
218
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:43,950
Oh!
219
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:50,210
A barn out in the boonies?
220
00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:52,220
The heck happened?
221
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,740
Chief, this wrapper
looks just like the one
222
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,010
from the Dumpster fire I put out.
223
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:04,100
I kept this as a souvenir.
224
00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:05,660
Could it have been
the same person?
225
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:07,270
Great instincts, Stan.
226
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,840
What else do you see?
227
00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:10,710
- See?
- In the patterns.
228
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,060
Me? Read fire patterns?
229
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:14,670
Okay...
230
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,760
this spot... tells me...
231
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,330
she's a woman? A mother?
232
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:22,900
Overshadowed by
a bigger personality at home.
233
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,810
She's always making sacrifices.
234
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,820
Well, we can all see
the surface patterns.
235
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:29,380
Go deeper.
236
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:32,470
Drinks to cope, but it's
not doing the job anymore.
237
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,350
She's adopted,
fell down a well as a child,
238
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:38,700
stints in acting,
body building, muffin sales,
239
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,790
had her vagina displayed
in a museum...
240
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,480
That one's just obvious.
241
00:11:42,530 --> 00:11:45,310
And by the looks of it,
she's just getting started.
242
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,440
But so.
243
00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:47,490
Am.
244
00:11:47,530 --> 00:11:49,710
I.
245
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,280
It could also be a guy, I guess.
246
00:11:52,890 --> 00:11:55,890
♪ Only you, baby
247
00:11:55,930 --> 00:12:00,370
♪ Can put out this fire
248
00:12:00,410 --> 00:12:03,850
♪ Only you, baby
249
00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,730
♪ Can put out this fire
250
00:12:06,770 --> 00:12:09,160
♪ Burning in my soul
251
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:10,290
♪ Only you, baby
252
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:11,990
Casseroles.
253
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,130
♪ Can put out this fire
254
00:12:16,780 --> 00:12:19,520
♪ Only you, baby
255
00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:20,780
Francine!
256
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,220
What are you doing here?
257
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,010
Looking for this.
258
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:36,230
In any event, I'm glad you're
here to see me in action.
259
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,190
There's an arsonist on the loose
and I'm the lead investigator.
260
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,330
They're letting you move up fast.
261
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:43,790
Yeah, it's honestly
pretty concerning.
262
00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:45,330
I've done zero training.
263
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:47,940
But that won't stop me
from catching this crook.
264
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:50,070
Nothing will.
265
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:56,040
Though the chapter of my life
as a firefighter is ending,
266
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,560
and so soon after declaring
267
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,540
that nothing would stop me
from catching the arsonist,
268
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,170
I cherish the fact
that the memories and friends
269
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:04,570
I made along the way are forever.
270
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:07,530
Firefighters number three
and number one especially.
271
00:13:07,570 --> 00:13:09,180
You must be relieved.
272
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,790
Now that Stan's retiring,
you can, too.
273
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:13,490
Retire?
274
00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:16,190
I'm sure he'll still
wanna put some out.
275
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,800
I'll keep the fires going
just to be safe.
276
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,840
Francine, you have a problem.
277
00:13:21,890 --> 00:13:24,240
This is going to be a joke,
but please don't laugh.
278
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,500
You're playing with fire.
279
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:27,280
Hey, Stan,
280
00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,240
what was your favorite fire
from this week?
281
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:31,420
Oh, man, there were so many.
282
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:35,210
The old barn, the old
go-kart park, the match factory.
283
00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:37,030
There were so many,
284
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,080
and more to come.
285
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:43,910
Where you going, honey?
286
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:45,350
I'm about to hand off
the arson case
287
00:13:45,390 --> 00:13:47,300
to the new volunteer
for next week.
288
00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:50,920
Yeah-yeah-yeah, great.
I gotta run.
289
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,310
We need more stuff for the crap.
290
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,180
Francine, you dropped...
291
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,840
What happened to your dress?
292
00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,450
Isn't it obvious?
293
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,930
I'm tearing off pieces,
294
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,630
shovin' 'em in a bottle of vodka,
295
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:11,850
and using it to start fires.
296
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,120
Wait, no.
297
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,030
She was really saying real.
298
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,470
♪ Oh, makin' those flames grow ♪
299
00:14:22,510 --> 00:14:25,040
♪ You know I gotta start
those in-fer-nos ♪
300
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,170
♪ But watch me maintain,
cuz a Franny like me ♪
301
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:29,960
♪ Is to-tally sane
302
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,350
♪ I'm sane in the membrane
303
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,350
♪ I'm sane, in my brains
304
00:14:34,390 --> 00:14:38,140
"Okay, that was
K-97's "Beats with no lyrics,
305
00:14:38,180 --> 00:14:40,310
so you can freestyle rap
in the car" Tuesdays.
306
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,270
Up next, a Latin Trap Beat...
307
00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,490
Helloo!
308
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:48,060
You're the arsonist.
How could you?
309
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:52,370
Well, it started because I
wanted to help you, like usual.
310
00:14:52,410 --> 00:14:55,890
But then it awakened
something irresistible in me.
311
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:58,330
So what, you have some kind
of freak fire fetish now?
312
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,200
Do you dress in all black
leather bondage outfits?
313
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:02,530
With nothing covering
your privates
314
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,510
but, like, strips of tape?
315
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,080
Cracking...
316
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,210
flaming whips and, -
317
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:11,210
Sorry, I need a second.
318
00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:16,260
Listen, I know "society"
doesn't like "serial arsonists."
319
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:19,610
So once I complete my masterpiece,
320
00:15:19,660 --> 00:15:21,570
where it all began,
321
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,400
I'll be done.
322
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,010
But more likely I'll do it
forever 'cause I love it.
323
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:28,410
Turn back now,
or I'm turning you in.
324
00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:32,020
You're funnier than Ray Romano.
325
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:33,450
You don't even know where I'll be.
326
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,330
Wait. "Where it all began"?
327
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,420
Oh, my God. It must be...
328
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:41,980
Who are you talkin' to, Stan?
329
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,200
Was it the arsonist?
330
00:15:43,250 --> 00:15:44,940
How'd she get your number?
331
00:15:44,990 --> 00:15:47,160
Stan, if you know something...
332
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:50,170
Spit it out, numb nuts.
333
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,300
We have to hurry.
334
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:52,630
She's gonna burn down
the firehouse.
335
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:55,000
- The firehouse?!
- Hey!
336
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,260
Thanks for the invite
to your little cookout.
337
00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:01,050
Real cool to see that going on
right outside my window!
338
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:08,050
Anyway, I will now shock
and dazzle you
339
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:10,580
with a grand
Knife Throwing finale.
340
00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:13,580
First, I will need a volunteer.
341
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,230
Yes, you in the back.
342
00:16:17,450 --> 00:16:19,020
Oh, hey, Roger.
343
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,070
Want to see this cute
baby owl video?
344
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,550
Hey, let go of my hand. Hey!
345
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:25,070
Roger, stop it.
346
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,640
Let go! This isn't funny!
347
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,070
I'm not wearing that.
348
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,640
Roger, please...
349
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,600
What are you doing?!
350
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,730
Roger. Seriously. Stop.
351
00:16:36,260 --> 00:16:37,650
I'm begging you!
352
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:41,610
I'm just a child!
353
00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:44,130
No!
354
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:47,570
Now, my Grand Finale... part one.
355
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:49,570
Stop this!
356
00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,400
Denise, you need to get here
right now.
357
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,550
I'm... alive.
358
00:17:18,730 --> 00:17:20,820
The Artful Wound.
359
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:22,480
The Mark of the Master.
360
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,310
Thank you, thank you.
361
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:29,350
- Now, the true Finale.
- Wait, what?
362
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,530
See, my act was always about
holding a mirror up to you,
363
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:34,750
the audience,
and your sordid cravings.
364
00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:36,140
Look under your seats.
365
00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,800
Some of you will find a knife.
366
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,840
I invite you now to face
your darkest desire,
367
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,320
if you dare.
368
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:43,280
By throwing...
369
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,320
a knife...
370
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:46,060
At me.
371
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,370
That's a lotta knives hitting me.
372
00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:52,720
Don't remember putting
this many under... the... seats.
373
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:57,680
Okay, some of you clearly
brought knives from home.
374
00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:02,120
Oh, I can't wait
to bust this sicko.
375
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,170
- She's a monster!
- An animal!
376
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:05,300
She's human!
377
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:06,480
She's hurting.
378
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,740
And I love her.
379
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,090
I wanna spray her with water
so friggin' bad!
380
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,270
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
381
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,750
No fire. What's goin' on?
382
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,230
Borrowing this.
383
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,370
Guys...
384
00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:30,760
if he doesn't bring that back...
385
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,630
we'll have to close
the fire station.
386
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:51,300
This feels good.
387
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:53,390
But not the most good.
388
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,660
I may have to burn a person next.
389
00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,790
Francine!
390
00:18:57,830 --> 00:18:59,270
Well, hello to you, too.
391
00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:03,190
How'd you even know I'd be here?
392
00:19:03,230 --> 00:19:06,710
You said "where it all began,"
plus the Ray Romano jab.
393
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,840
That could only mean one thing...
394
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:10,890
You were going to the place
where we got married.
395
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:17,160
I booked our wedding
at my dream venue...
396
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,850
Knee Slapperz Comedy Club,
but Ray Romano
397
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,420
showed up five minutes before
to do a surprise set,
398
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:23,600
and we got bumped.
399
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,600
Yeah, and you had a meltdown.
400
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,300
But you scrambled
and found this place.
401
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,780
You decorated the bins,
filled them with ice...
402
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:34,350
a family of raccoons
were the flower girls.
403
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,220
Ta-da!
404
00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:42,270
It's too late, Stan.
405
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,490
I can't stop.
406
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,840
Of course you can.
407
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,400
You only became an arsonist
408
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:48,530
because I pushed you
toward it all these years.
409
00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:50,840
Arsonist is such an ugly term.
410
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,840
We prefer Friend of the Flame.
411
00:19:52,890 --> 00:19:54,630
Or fire
412
00:19:54,670 --> 00:19:57,760
I need to learn how to handle
my disappointment myself,
413
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,550
or at least take it out
on the kids.
414
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:01,550
You do take it out on the kids.
415
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:02,850
I could do it more.
416
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:04,990
Oh, Stan.
417
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:06,810
Thank you.
418
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:08,880
To be clear, though, this is
messed up, what you're doing,
419
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,900
and I think you should
see a doctor in addition
420
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:12,730
to me being, like, more attentive.
421
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,210
Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah, totes.
422
00:20:16,610 --> 00:20:18,610
How are we gonna get out of here?
423
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:21,790
Baby, all you do
is sacrifice for me.
424
00:20:21,830 --> 00:20:24,350
It's time I repay the favor.
425
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,270
We're gonna leave exactly
how we did on our wedding day.
426
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:30,880
Except this time,
I'm going to carry you.
427
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,020
There's people in there!
428
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:38,500
Someone help them!
429
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,370
There they are!
430
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,240
They're okay!
431
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,420
- Oh!
- Oh!
432
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:44,720
He's not okay!
433
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,550
He's in terrible shape!
434
00:20:49,810 --> 00:20:51,380
He's gonna say something!
435
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,040
Bye! Have a great time!
30343
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