All language subtitles for American.Dad.S19E07.Beyond.the.Alcove.or.How.I.Learned.to.Stop.Worrying.and.Love.Klaus.1080p.DSNP.WEBRip.DDP.5.1.H.265.-EDGE2020
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1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:07,484
Now, what if I seat Stan
next to Greg?
2
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:11,094
It's aggressive,
it's bold, and I love it.
3
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,972
Francine, may I just say,
using custom chess pieces
4
00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,575
to plan a dinner party...
5
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,267
I'm having the time of my life.
6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,685
Well, I'm not.
7
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,395
No matter how I play it out,
8
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,564
three or four moves
down the line,
9
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,108
Klaus ruins my party
by talking about
10
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,046
Dan Bilzerian
or 3-D printed guns
11
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,881
or something else douchey.
12
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:31,508
I need to go deeper.
13
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,825
Horse tranquilizer,
m'lady?
14
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,813
Oookay!
15
00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,713
Tuttle mingles with you...
16
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,525
Genius move, Francine.
17
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,610
I could see us talkin'
a little dog racing.
18
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:53,011
But look over here
at Parker Deay.
19
00:00:53,095 --> 00:00:55,597
Parker... Parker...
Who is that?
20
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,432
Screams "Zooka Sharks"
a lot.
21
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,077
The guy who takes
Tinder dates out
22
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,954
for hot-dog dinners
at 7-Eleven?
23
00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,081
Love him.
Okay, let's play this out.
24
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:04,958
Good, good!
25
00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:07,544
Your eyes are sliding around,
so I assume it's working.
26
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,194
Bacon-wrapped dates!
27
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:12,114
Lava hot and wrapped real loose!
28
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,801
- Where did everyone go?
- They left.
29
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,845
Klaus changed
your Spotify playlist
30
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:19,454
to a Marc Maron
podcast from 2015.
31
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:22,267
Ohhh, this one
is classic!
32
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:25,228
His guest is a comedian
you've never heard of.
33
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:27,171
Classic!
34
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,121
Mom, your guests
are arriving!
35
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:02,432
One second!
36
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,976
Just finishing up
the table assignments!
37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:10,130
Greg goes here, Tuttle here,
and Klaus sits here.
38
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,466
He-he-he-he-he.
39
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,446
Welcome to
my dinner party!
40
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:19,097
It's wonderful to see you
all again.
41
00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:22,452
But maybe some of you don't know
Hayley's friend Nerfer.
42
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,288
Don't just stand there,
introduce yourself.
43
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,041
I'm Nerfer.
I'm Hayley's friend.
44
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,627
I already said that.
What else?
45
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,629
I work at
the Old Spaghetti Factory,
46
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,155
but the new location,
which is pretty hilarious,
47
00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,926
because old and new
are opposite words.
48
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:41,119
Okay, that's enough.
You can listen, too.
49
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:42,913
Let's eat!
50
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:46,601
The salad looks delicious.
Nice produce.
51
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,752
- Is this from my store?
- God, no.
52
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,712
But this tomato
looks so familiar.
53
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,173
Look, I didn't steal it
from your store on Tuesday!
54
00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:54,818
Francine, you need
to do something.
55
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,469
Klaus's table is turning
into the damn Last Supper.
56
00:02:57,553 --> 00:03:00,949
You hear "Bermuda Triangle"
and you think "whoa,"
57
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,600
but it really is
a beautiful area.
58
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,370
It's crazy lush.
59
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:06,955
I never thought
of it that way.
60
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,040
That's so
interesting, Klaus!
61
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,900
The world's a big,
interesting place.
62
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,962
I just try to keep
my eyes open, you know?
63
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:16,923
Ooh! Would you do your
Will Arnett impression again?
64
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,992
I really shouldn't...
"Oh, come on!"
65
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,621
Is everybody
laughing at Klaus?
66
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,790
No, we're laughing
with Klaus.
67
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,628
So, you dogs are hungry
for laughs?
68
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:35,090
Well, roll over.
You got a bone coming your way.
69
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:39,344
Hello.
I'm Mrs. Walrus.
70
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:41,513
Anyone have any fish for me?
71
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,349
Are those tampons
in your mouth?
72
00:03:45,517 --> 00:03:47,394
Oh, tamp on!
73
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:57,964
He winked at me, Stan!
74
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,532
That little asshole winked!
75
00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,010
- At me!
- Who winked?
76
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,388
Klaus!
He ruined my dinner party!
77
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,497
- He did?
- Of course he did!
78
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,666
He monopolized
every conversation
79
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,186
I tried to butt into!
80
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,420
Well, he's been working
on his people skills.
81
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:15,482
I think everybody
really likes the new Klaus.
82
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:18,550
Yeah, I'd like
to "nuke Klaus," too.
83
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:21,279
All the way
back to the stone age.
84
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,989
Sounds like you're
a little jealous Klaus
85
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,866
got all the attention
at your party.
86
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,201
Oh, yeah?
87
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:29,645
Well, it sounds like you're
wasting dental floss, you idiot!
88
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:35,859
I'm sorry I said
you were upset, my love.
89
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,990
Help me out
with something, guys.
90
00:04:42,074 --> 00:04:43,301
Klaus sucks, right?
91
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,410
I'm gonna have to
reluctantly disagree.
92
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,829
Have you talked to him
about early cartoons?
93
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,289
He's super knowledgeable.
94
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:52,584
He's seen basically
every Pluto short on Disney+.
95
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:56,421
And all
the Goofy features.
96
00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,903
Why's everyone obsessed
with Klaus?
97
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,780
I wouldn't say
"obsessed."
98
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,598
He's just... I dunno...
Likable, I guess.
99
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,684
Have you heard him rap?
He's pretty good.
100
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,333
The guy's
an urban poet.
101
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:17,377
Nobody likes you, Klaus.
102
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:20,213
Oh, hey, Francine.
Sick dinner party last night.
103
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,447
I don't know
what all "this" is,
104
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,843
but I want it to stop
right now.
105
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,512
Ah. Stan told me
you were upset.
106
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,265
Look, I know I used to be
a real piece of shit.
107
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,516
Guilty!
108
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,144
But, Francine,
I've grown a lot.
109
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:37,355
Oh, wow, got
a giant sequoia over here.
110
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:41,693
All right, Mr. Growth, I'm gonna
throw a real party tomorrow.
111
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:44,821
A real party
for bad bitches.
112
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,306
We'll see who gets
more attention.
113
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,311
What the
am I looking at?
114
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,524
Now this is a party.
115
00:05:57,608 --> 00:06:00,170
Everyone, give me
your attention!
116
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,255
I think we can all agree
117
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,656
last night's dinner party
was terrible.
118
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,301
Aw, I liked
your dinner party.
119
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:09,077
No, you didn't, Greg.
I'll tell you what you like.
120
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,555
Keg stands!
121
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,955
No, I'd rather not.
122
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,665
Grab his
other leg, Roger.
123
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,190
The tap's broken!
124
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,692
You gotta drink
the whole keg!
125
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:23,860
It's not broken!
126
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,636
Shut up,
freshman scum!
127
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,847
Ummm, Franny...?
128
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,851
Wow!
129
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,686
Is this mahogany?
130
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:37,564
Thanks for noticing, Tuttle.
It's not.
131
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,150
Oh, Nerfer, the other night,
you mentioned you like
132
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:43,111
Hoppy IPAs,
so I whipped up a home brew
133
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,589
I think you'll enjoy.
134
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,341
That's heck a posh.
135
00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:49,511
Tuttle, Nerfer,
what the hell?!
136
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:50,994
This is my party!
137
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,306
You're supposed to be
paying attention to me!
138
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,642
Klaus is more interesting
than you, okay?!
139
00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,310
You need to learn
to accept that!
140
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,522
I didn't want to do this,
but you left me no choice.
141
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,005
Gimme those!
142
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,902
Everyone look at me!
143
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,531
The Amah-zing Francine
will attempt
144
00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:14,202
a never-before-seen
roof-to-pool jump!
145
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,435
Is Mom okay?
146
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,038
Oh, yeah,
better than ever.
147
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,606
Women are complicated, Steve.
Don't drink that.
148
00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,251
I'm gonna leave.
149
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,836
I'm gonna
take off, too.
150
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,046
Is everyone
okay to drive?
151
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,507
I can call each of you
a vintage Yellow Cab.
152
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:28,842
Shut up, Klaus!
153
00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,742
Nobody's leaving!
154
00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,554
I'm about to jump!
155
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,930
3...
156
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,706
2...
157
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,754
Well, at least she still
has her dignity.
158
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,650
I pooped my swimsuit!
159
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,759
I stand by my
previous statement.
160
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,245
Easy now.
You had quite a fall.
161
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:01,106
I saw them.
My ancestors!
162
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:05,003
All my dear,
departed loved ones who died.
163
00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,421
They spoke to me.
164
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,238
They told me they were
just as confused
165
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,675
as I was
why anybody likes you.
166
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,594
Even the caveman Francine!
167
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:16,079
People like me because
I work on myself, Francine.
168
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,141
I've been following a strict
lifestyle regimen
169
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,310
developed by Mark Wahlberg.
170
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,437
It forces me
to grow physically,
171
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:26,149
mentally, spiritually,
metaphysically, metaspiritually,
172
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,134
super-meta-spiri-physi-
tastically!
173
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,553
Okay, I made that one up
as a joke.
174
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,156
I'm funny now, too.
175
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,558
I can't believe I'm asking
you this, but...
176
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,810
will you teach me
how to grow, too?
177
00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:41,563
Of course! Congrats!
178
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,167
You're officially enrolled
in Klaus college,
179
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,485
a satellite campus
of Wahlberg U.
180
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,218
Klaus, it's 2:00 a.m.
181
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,994
You're on
Wahlberg time now.
182
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,830
As you can see,
the schedule is rigorous.
183
00:08:58,914 --> 00:09:01,184
You'll start and end the day
with a 5-mile run.
184
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,645
In between, you'll be
reading self-help books,
185
00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:05,647
meditating,
belting out sea shanties,
186
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:08,006
learning basic IT,
more shanties,
187
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,527
eating Wahlburgers,
mastering Krav Maga,
188
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:13,762
and you might even cook
an exotic dish or two.
189
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,180
This is crazy.
190
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,534
There's no way Mark Wahlberg
does all that.
191
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:18,827
And then some.
192
00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,912
He's a big ol' Catholic!
193
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,021
Hits up Mass
17 times a day
194
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:26,650
and leaves a DVD copy of
Shooter in every Bible.
195
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,384
Pick it up!
Be like me!
196
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:35,492
Body and mind are one!
197
00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:48,088
Bang.
198
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,861
These burgers
are terrible.
199
00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:55,012
Yes. Very, very bad.
200
00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932
Francine, what
are you doing?
201
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,411
I'm becoming
more interesting...
202
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:04,104
like Klaus...
and Mark Wahlberg.
203
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,166
Are you crazy?
Klaus sucks!
204
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,834
I'm sending you something
to remind you
205
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,109
what a loser Klaus is.
206
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,945
Welcome back to
207
00:10:12,029 --> 00:10:14,239
my podcast, Klaus of Hearts,
208
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:16,176
where we explore
every interaction
209
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,535
I've had with a woman
at a blackjack table.
210
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,306
Today, we'll be looking
at Pechanga Casino
211
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:24,392
on Christmas Eve,
where dealer Janice F.
212
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,479
Refused to answer the simple
icebreaker question,
213
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:31,548
"Don't you think it's time
to forgive Kevin Spacey?"
214
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:33,568
Klaus, where are you?
215
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:36,196
I'm returning
your self-help books!
216
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:40,557
I came to my senses
and realize you suck again!
217
00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:49,983
Off-brand soda,
218
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,861
off-brand Maxim magazine,
219
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:55,173
filthy recliner?
220
00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:57,449
I knew it!
221
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,451
You haven't changed, Klaus!
222
00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:01,828
You're a big phony scumbag!
223
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,455
Oh, hi, Francine.
224
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:05,183
Jeffrey, I'm about to reveal
225
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,416
my sinister plan.
226
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,520
Is my fedora
rakishly askew?
227
00:11:08,544 --> 00:11:11,481
It's a strong look,
Mr. Klaus!
228
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,965
I think it's hideous.
229
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,948
So, what?
230
00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:21,825
You hypnotized Jeff
or something?
231
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:24,101
Is it that obvious?
232
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:26,955
I'm over this.
233
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,021
No, wait!
234
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:30,250
Okay, long story short,
235
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:33,086
I learned to control people
using a technique
236
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,088
called
"hypnotic anchoring."
237
00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:36,798
Sounds boring,
and I don't get it.
238
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,032
All right.
How do I explain this?
239
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,510
Have you seen the movie
Get Out?
240
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,220
- No.
- Really?
241
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:43,388
Have you seen Parasite?
242
00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,038
- Yeah.
- Good.
243
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:47,350
Not relevant here,
but I'm glad you saw it.
244
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,852
Bong Joon-ho, man.
245
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,395
So sick.
246
00:11:50,419 --> 00:11:52,981
Anyways, I hypnotized people
to love me.
247
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:54,941
Take Jeff, for example.
248
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:57,759
First, I learned all about Jeff.
249
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,863
What makes him "tick,"
so to speak.
250
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:03,116
And I discovered
that Jeff really likes weed.
251
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,159
I do!
252
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:07,769
So I filled my notebook
with fun facts and jokes
253
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,479
about marijuana.
254
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,167
Stuff that would
make Jeff smile.
255
00:12:12,191 --> 00:12:14,443
And every time he did...
256
00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:18,822
And after several hundred
of those...
257
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,490
Who do ya love, Jeff?
258
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:22,177
I love Klaus!
259
00:12:22,201 --> 00:12:26,830
Soon, everyone in town
will think I'm so cool,
260
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:29,392
they'll be under
my absolute control.
261
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,605
This is bogus, and I'm telling
Stan about your secret lair.
262
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:38,091
Hypnotizing you was my greatest
challenge, by far.
263
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:41,696
You resent me so much,
I couldn't crack your psyche.
264
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,325
So I looked to ultimate
mind-bender Mark Wahlberg
265
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,743
for inspiration.
266
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:48,286
I'm not hypnotized.
267
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:50,103
Remember this guy?
268
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:57,170
Now, tell me, Francine...
269
00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,506
how do I look?
270
00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:05,452
Klaus, I am loving
your stupid fedora!
271
00:13:05,536 --> 00:13:08,247
A little more hypnosis.
272
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,026
What's happening?!
273
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,611
Francine, you're back!
274
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,429
- W... Where am I?
- You're in a cowboy tub.
275
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,307
I got us an Airbnb,
far away from Klaus.
276
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:30,203
Come inside. They've got a ton
of incomplete board games.
277
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:32,539
You like Trivial Pursuit
without the questions?
278
00:13:32,563 --> 00:13:34,040
Where's the rest
of the family?
279
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,792
Oh, Francine,
it's terrible.
280
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,669
You were right about Klaus
the whole time.
281
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:40,153
- He hypnotized them all!
- Where are they?
282
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,673
- Are they okay?
- I don't know.
283
00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,967
I only had room for one of you
and my luggage.
284
00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:46,678
Roger, we need
to go save them.
285
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,912
It's just the desert is
so hot during the day
286
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:51,164
and so cold at night,
it's like having to pack
287
00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:53,226
for both the beach
and skiing!
288
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:55,270
I probably didn't need
the snowboard, though.
289
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,920
That could've been Steve,
I guess.
290
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,149
I guess I could've fit
Hayley, too.
291
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:00,233
Weird.
292
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,719
I don't remember any
border checkpoints before.
293
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,406
State your business
in Langley Falls.
294
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,574
We live here?
295
00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:09,224
Better let me
handle this, Fran.
296
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:12,644
Hi, sir! Just so you know,
we love Klaus so much.
297
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,956
Klaus is the best,
is what we say.
298
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,293
The only reason we left Langley
was to spread word of Klaus.
299
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:21,195
In summary,
we love Klaus.
300
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,186
What the WTF?
301
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,021
They wanna marry Klaus?
302
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:40,797
Some more?!
That's gross!
303
00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,694
You're gross!
304
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:45,886
Drive, drive!
305
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,848
Did you hear me
call them "gross"?
306
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,141
Was that cool?
307
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,994
I feel like I'm starring
in Jackass!
308
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,061
Watch out!
309
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,407
There are few things
in this world
310
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,701
I hate more
than traveling by foot.
311
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:13,163
It's your
favorite dude, Klaus,
312
00:15:13,247 --> 00:15:16,542
telling you to have
a blessed day.
313
00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,713
Is that Klaus on TV?
314
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,299
Langley is better
than ever, Klaus.
315
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,360
Why is that?
316
00:15:25,384 --> 00:15:28,595
Well, Greg, I made everyone
think I'm cooler now,
317
00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:30,615
and the town is cooler
as a result.
318
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,201
- I don't think you're cooler.
- What?
319
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:35,435
I think
you're the coolest.
320
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:38,206
Wonderful, wonderful!
321
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,958
Do you see
what he did there?
322
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:42,192
Still, I don't like it.
323
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,323
Damn, he's hypnotized everybody.
324
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:49,491
Be careful, Franny.
325
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,261
People might think
you don't love Klaus.
326
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:52,452
Who doesn't love Klaus?
327
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,162
- Francine Smith.
- Roger!
328
00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:57,100
Sorry, Franny, but I'm a sucker
for peer pressure.
329
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,418
And the peers
are a-pressurin'.
330
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:08,093
Klauuuussss!
331
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,395
Guys, I'm back!
332
00:16:19,605 --> 00:16:22,900
Please, Stan, tell me
you haven't fallen for Klaus!
333
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:29,448
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
334
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:32,886
There she is!
335
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:36,872
Thank you, boys, for getting
this menace off our streets.
336
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,460
Where'd pink go?
337
00:16:42,753 --> 00:16:44,439
Help!
338
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:46,900
Keep it down.
You'll scare the cats.
339
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,551
Sorry for the hood.
I had to tidy up a bit.
340
00:16:49,635 --> 00:16:52,221
Trust me, this place
was a disaster.
341
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,158
You live in the sewers?
342
00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:56,910
It's not safe
up there anymore.
343
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,454
Me and Beezus just looked
at each other one day,
344
00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:02,773
and we knew it was time
to form the Resistance.
345
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:06,151
So... how's it going?
346
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:07,171
Pretty good!
347
00:17:07,195 --> 00:17:09,881
I sent a team of cats
to breach Klaus's alcove,
348
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,449
and, boy,
did they deliver.
349
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,349
Boop!
350
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:21,291
These cats are heroes.
351
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,752
Klaus had entries
for everyone in town.
352
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:26,713
"Francine Smith...
Loves drinking,
353
00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:30,193
jealous streak,
mind-controlled by air horn."
354
00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:31,945
They also found this.
355
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,363
It's a failsafe phrase
356
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,949
to deactivate everyone
Klaus hypnotized!
357
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,618
"Enough with
the hypnotism already."
358
00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:41,478
It's a good one.
Fiendishly simple.
359
00:17:41,562 --> 00:17:43,039
If you can hijack Klaus's
broadcast
360
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,667
and shout that phrase,
you'll save the town.
361
00:17:45,691 --> 00:17:47,734
You can count on me.
362
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,548
I have one more question.
363
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,240
May I play
with your cats?
364
00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:11,091
Roger was right.
365
00:18:11,175 --> 00:18:13,236
Klaus is the perfect subject.
366
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,238
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
367
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,598
You're back!
368
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,827
I'm scared, Mom.
369
00:18:20,851 --> 00:18:22,519
Why was I painting Klaus?
370
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:25,123
Because Klaus is
mind-controlling everyone
371
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,774
from the TV studio
in his alcove.
372
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:32,237
He's ruined the entire town,
and we're gonna stop him.
373
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,490
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
374
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:38,076
That's right, Klaus!
375
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,120
I know how to
deactivate everyone!
376
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,123
Code twenty-niner
in the Alcove.
377
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:44,791
Stan, what are you doing?
378
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,084
Calling for backup.
379
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:49,421
No offense, honey, but hypnosis
showed me how cool Klaus is.
380
00:18:49,505 --> 00:18:51,965
Honestly, he deserves
to be dictator of Langley.
381
00:18:52,049 --> 00:18:54,861
Klaaaaaauuuusss!
382
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:57,804
Maybe you should try
thinking Klaus is cool.
383
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,157
You just might
find you like it.
384
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,849
Why isn't this working?
385
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:04,811
You broke the hypnosis,
but you're too late.
386
00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:09,626
The belief in "cool Klaus"
is buried way too deep.
387
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,443
You lost, Francine.
388
00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:12,921
Join the mob.
389
00:19:12,945 --> 00:19:14,464
Come on!
390
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,990
I can't make them forget
that he's cool.
391
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:22,412
But what if I can make everyone
remember he's not cool?
392
00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:23,539
Capture her, Stan!
393
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:30,754
Enough with
the hypnotism already!
394
00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:37,761
Even if they're not hypnotized,
they're still gonna love me.
395
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:40,907
I'm just getting
warmed up, punk.
396
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,826
Thanks to Mark Wahlberg,
397
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:46,270
I'm now kind of trained
in basic IT.
398
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:51,942
Citizens of Langley,
you call this cool?
399
00:19:53,402 --> 00:19:55,547
Welcome back to
Klaus of Hearts.
400
00:19:55,571 --> 00:19:57,614
Oh, shit.
401
00:19:57,698 --> 00:20:00,510
On this episode,
I'm at the Hard Rock Casino,
402
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,637
alone on my birthday...
403
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:04,347
The way I've learned
to like it.
404
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,624
Meanwhile, I'm trying to
protect a bachelorette party
405
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:10,395
from some creep I hear
them whispering about.
406
00:20:10,419 --> 00:20:13,690
But the girls won't tell me
what floor their room is on!
407
00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:16,568
I ordered a buttery nipple
from the cocktail waitress,
408
00:20:16,592 --> 00:20:18,945
you know, to look like a G.
409
00:20:18,969 --> 00:20:21,990
Then I got a call
from an unknown number.
410
00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:24,951
I answered it to cement
my G status.
411
00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:27,287
And it was lucky I did,
because it turned out
412
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:30,355
to be my very
last chance to act
413
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:34,169
before the warranty
ran out on my car or truck.
414
00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:37,571
Another great birthday
in the books.
415
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:02,197
Mommy!
416
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:04,223
Have a great night!
417
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:07,976
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