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1
00:00:03,650 --> 00:00:05,820
How about this Jamaican resort?
2
00:00:05,870 --> 00:00:08,090
We can escape the chilly
Langley winter
3
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:10,480
at a heavily guarded
manmade beach!
4
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:11,610
Or we could check out
5
00:00:11,650 --> 00:00:12,900
Willie Nelson's Museum
in Nashville.
6
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,440
Dude loves weed and headbands!
7
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,880
I've heard your input,
and I propose we do...
8
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,530
none of those things!
9
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,580
You could've just
had me move that.
10
00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:25,930
The Smith clan shall vacation
in Rustic Pines!
11
00:00:28,930 --> 00:00:31,110
The quaint ski town?
12
00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,330
Where I used to go as a kid?
13
00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:35,980
I know that look on
everyone's face, Mr. S.
14
00:00:36,030 --> 00:00:37,240
They're about to yell,
15
00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:39,120
"Jeff, nobody has
any frickin' idea
16
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,730
what you're talking about!"
17
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,860
Picture it... we'll wake up
with the sun,
18
00:00:42,900 --> 00:00:46,340
ski through peaceful woods,
a mountain breeze in our hair.
19
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,260
Then, we'll retire
to a tiny log cabin
20
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,170
with no water or electricity
21
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,700
and poop in an outhouse,
like God intended.
22
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,920
Honey, thumbs up
on the fun ski stuff,
23
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,830
but thumbs down on the pooping
like an animal.
24
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,360
How about a nice hotel?
25
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,660
Vacations aren't about
fancy-pants hotels
26
00:01:05,710 --> 00:01:07,230
with robot toilets.
27
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,020
They're about getting away
from it all.
28
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,580
I'll give it a try, Stan.
29
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,800
Go with the flow,
that's what I always say.
30
00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:15,020
I guess, but this
"go" seems like it flows
31
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,370
somewhere shitty.
32
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,550
Your father has a different
idea of "fun"
33
00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:21,900
because his family grew up...
34
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:24,160
I don't want to say "poor"...
35
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,990
but with less money than
a family needs to not be poor.
36
00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,250
Poor? I don't think so.
37
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:32,340
In fact, my pops even bought me
a fake ID at age 6
38
00:01:32,390 --> 00:01:33,820
so I could sell my blood.
39
00:01:33,870 --> 00:01:35,960
In conclusion, not poor.
40
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,090
What are you guys up to?
Never mind, don't care.
41
00:01:38,130 --> 00:01:40,480
I'm turning my alcove
into a home office,
42
00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:43,660
and its gonna be sick!
43
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,030
But, seriously,
what are you guys up to?
44
00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:47,230
Can I do it, too? Pleease?
45
00:01:49,620 --> 00:01:51,280
So, "maybe," then?
46
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,630
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
47
00:01:57,670 --> 00:02:01,460
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
48
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,810
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
49
00:02:04,850 --> 00:02:08,600
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
50
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,120
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
51
00:02:14,170 --> 00:02:16,260
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
52
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,180
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
53
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,400
Anyone see "it all" around here?
54
00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:34,490
The answer is no because we
officially got away from that!
55
00:02:36,060 --> 00:02:38,540
Get a lung full of
this fresh mountain air.
56
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,930
That actually is kinda nice.
57
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:42,240
I don't know.
58
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,680
It all just smells
like squirrel farts to me.
59
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,250
And if that's not
enough nature for you,
60
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:51,860
the forecast calls
for an epic powder dump...
61
00:02:51,900 --> 00:02:53,340
a skier's paradise.
62
00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,690
Prepare for total relaxation
in 3, 2...
63
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:06,350
- That was relaxing.
- I don't get it.
64
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:07,640
There's never traffic heading into
65
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:09,440
this little nothing of a town.
66
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,490
Someone must've hit a moose
or froze to death
67
00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:13,360
in their car
or something else picturesque.
68
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,280
Welcome to heaven.
69
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,670
When I was a kid, we had a game
70
00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:21,710
to see who could touch
that sign first.
71
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,021
And we're all playing it
right now!
72
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,590
I win! Tee-hee!
73
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:29,900
Log Cabin Sign Condos?
74
00:03:29,940 --> 00:03:32,510
Awesome! Bet it has a pool!
75
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:33,940
Bet it has one of
those little pools
76
00:03:33,990 --> 00:03:35,680
with super hot water!
77
00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:37,770
- You mean a hot tub?
- Maybe.
78
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:39,690
You know, where you go like this!
79
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:44,780
- A soup bowl?
- No, that's hot tub, Mom.
80
00:03:44,820 --> 00:03:46,690
He always ends up
with some kind of GI issue.
81
00:03:46,740 --> 00:03:48,650
This place is terrible now!
82
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:50,960
Stan, my dude, relax.
83
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,750
You're not poor anymore.
You've earned a trip like this.
84
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,270
We were never poor, you idiot!
85
00:03:55,310 --> 00:03:56,970
Oh, idiot?
86
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:59,010
Would an idiot... ah!
87
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:01,580
I said, would an idiot...
88
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:03,890
Never mind.
I've ruined my quick comeback.
89
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,110
We've been in this line so long,
90
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,410
I've named all the butts
in front of us.
91
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:14,160
Droopy, Lumpy, Kinda Hot,
Mean Pumpkin.
92
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,550
And the loudmouth of
the group, Fart Butt.
93
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,340
Please tell me I'm either
Kinda Hot or Mean Pumpkin.
94
00:04:19,380 --> 00:04:22,210
Come on, be honest with yourself.
95
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,470
That chairlift line
is moving just fine!
96
00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,080
Oh, hey, guys, I found you!
97
00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:27,340
Stan,
98
00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:29,480
what are those
Fashion Don'ts on your feet?
99
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,910
My dad had these
custom-made for me
100
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,570
from our neighbor's
very expensive fence material.
101
00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:36,090
What's going on with your line?
102
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,180
- Nobody's even wearing skis!
- Don't need 'em!
103
00:04:38,220 --> 00:04:40,660
My crew is all about "après ski,"
104
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:43,190
the party scene after skiing.
105
00:04:43,230 --> 00:04:46,320
Except we also do it before
sking and instead of sking.
106
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,370
We're heading up
to a sick mountaintop club.
107
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:49,890
I got you all express passes!
108
00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:51,850
Nobody wants your party passes.
109
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:54,200
We're here to ski and name butts,
110
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,290
and we're all out of butts.
111
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,850
- I'll take a pass!
- Oh, great.
112
00:04:57,900 --> 00:04:59,770
Fart Butt gets to go up.
113
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:02,900
So, Fart Butt, is that short
for Fartholomew Buttons?
114
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,390
The ultimate home office.
115
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:10,340
Pens to sign important documents,
116
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:12,690
paperclips to clip
those documents together,
117
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:16,130
and, of course,
a big-ass landline phone.
118
00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:20,270
No dial tone?
119
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:22,920
Time to call tech support
and unleash hell!
120
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:29,060
TeleStar support, Sara speaking.
121
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,710
Hey, Sara, your
shitty company sold me
122
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,190
a defective phone!
123
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,630
I am so sorry about that, sugar.
124
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:38,200
And here I was upset
about the rain.
125
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,720
Well, it...
it's not your fault, Sara.
126
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:43,860
And rain does kinda suck.
127
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:45,940
Sorry I got so mad.
128
00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:48,340
It's okay. I understand.
129
00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:51,380
You... understand me?
130
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,950
Sure!
131
00:05:52,990 --> 00:05:54,560
This must be frustrating.
132
00:05:54,610 --> 00:05:56,170
It is!
133
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:59,260
You really get me.
134
00:05:59,310 --> 00:06:01,830
So, what are you
up to tonight, Sara?
135
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:05,050
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
136
00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,620
Oh, let me take you off speaker...
137
00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:11,620
Sara! Come back to me!
138
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,620
TeleStar support, Mindy speaking.
139
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,230
Put Sara back on!
140
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,280
I'm sorry, sir,
there's no Sara here.
141
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,110
You see, TeleStar has agents
located all over the country...
142
00:06:21,150 --> 00:06:25,030
Sara!
143
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:31,470
♪ I like to après, après ♪
144
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,820
Don't drink it, spray it!
145
00:06:34,860 --> 00:06:36,950
That's how you après ski!
146
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,780
I'm such a good skier!
147
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,960
MC Avalanche in the house!
148
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:55,930
Okay, gang, time for our first
and last run of the day,
149
00:06:55,970 --> 00:06:57,450
so let's make the best of...
150
00:06:57,490 --> 00:06:59,630
Hey!
151
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,720
Damn it, these morons
are everywhere!
152
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,760
Here, Stan, the traditional
peace offering of my people.
153
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:06,940
Join us.
154
00:07:08,850 --> 00:07:10,680
I pity you, Roger.
155
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,900
Everyone in this family
but you is content
156
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:14,550
to enjoy the wonders of nature.
157
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,430
Stan, get over here!
158
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:20,260
The bartender lady will spray
beer right in your face!
159
00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:22,480
I'm invoking vacation veto power.
160
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,170
Everyone get down here
and back in your skis!
161
00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:35,360
Sorry, y'all!
162
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:39,840
Scratchin' ain't so easy
with mittens!
163
00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:46,850
Dad, this trip sucks a fat hog.
164
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:49,020
Climbing garbage to get our skis?
165
00:07:49,070 --> 00:07:50,460
Can we just go home?
166
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,330
Hey, I'm doing this for you guys.
167
00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,680
I thought we could get away
168
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,510
and find a little quiet solitude.
169
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,510
And beautiful views...
170
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,040
and a mountain breeze...
171
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:09,740
ah!
172
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,570
You read my mind, Steve!
173
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:14,140
The rustic family ski trip
we've all been craving
174
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:16,400
is right here... at the dump!
175
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,590
Cold penis!
176
00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,500
Steve, the dump won't be
a safe place to ski
177
00:08:33,550 --> 00:08:35,810
until you clear
the household appliances!
178
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,720
Sorry, I was busy
getting this used condom
179
00:08:37,770 --> 00:08:38,860
out of my hair.
180
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:40,380
A valid excuse.
181
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,990
Honey, how's
the bunny slope coming?
182
00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,040
I think I found
some medical waste.
183
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,390
That's the spirit! My turn!
184
00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:47,560
Whee!
185
00:08:52,260 --> 00:08:55,180
Cabin 3!
186
00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:57,440
These must be the logs
from the torn-down cabins
187
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,530
I used to stay in!
188
00:08:58,570 --> 00:08:59,960
That's nice, Stan.
189
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,230
So, the kids and I
have been talking,
190
00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:04,880
and maybe it's time we...
191
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,060
Are you crying?
192
00:09:08,230 --> 00:09:10,320
It's just, I wanna thank you for
193
00:09:10,370 --> 00:09:13,190
letting me give you the vacation
I've always wanted to.
194
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,630
I love you guys.
Sorry. You were saying?
195
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,770
I was saying we should
stay here and keep...
196
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,030
- trashin' it up.
- Great idea!
197
00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:25,560
Let's all reconstruct Cabin 3!
198
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,990
You know who else built a cabin?
Abraham Lincoln.
199
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,080
He also got shot in the head,
200
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,910
but not everyone gets that lucky.
201
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:34,170
Mr. Heisler,
I'm the highest-ranking
202
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,740
support manager at TeleStar,
203
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:39,220
and I'm not able to
"bring you Sara" even if you do
204
00:09:39,260 --> 00:09:43,400
"tweet my personal info to your
millions of rabid followers."
205
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,790
Send a company-wide
e-mail to every Sara
206
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,530
and tell them
the man of their dreams
207
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,010
is searching for them!
208
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:51,710
Sir, I'm sorry you
can't figure out how
209
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,020
to use your telephone
and fell in love with the woman
210
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:56,670
who tried to help you,
but I'm hanging up now.
211
00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,370
What are you doing here?
212
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:05,200
Sometimes I miss Steve
when he's on vacation,
213
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:07,470
so I just come over and live here.
214
00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:10,300
I'm going a little crazy myself.
215
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:12,170
Yesterday I made a love connection
216
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,470
with a tech-support babe,
217
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,340
but we got disconnected,
and I can't find her.
218
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:19,610
Klaus, this is your lucky day.
219
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:21,790
Years of looking for
my deadbeat dad made me
220
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,920
an expert tracker.
221
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,140
Tell me about your call.
222
00:10:26,180 --> 00:10:28,750
Well, I was mad about my phone,
223
00:10:28,790 --> 00:10:30,750
and she was upset it was raining...
224
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:34,410
Stop. It only rained in nine
American cities yesterday.
225
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:35,930
You put on a pot of coffee,
226
00:10:35,970 --> 00:10:38,410
I'll scrub my search history
from Steve's computer.
227
00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:40,370
We've got a girl to find.
228
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:42,280
Guys, I've been thinking.
229
00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,240
Spraying champagne is played out.
230
00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:45,460
It's time to innovate.
231
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:53,380
Look at those losers
skiing on trash at the dump.
232
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,960
Oh, no! Stan is ruining
their vacation.
233
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,090
I have to save them!
234
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,700
I'm innovating, too!
235
00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:07,310
Who wants a champagne enema?!
236
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:08,530
A little later.
237
00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,490
I have to save them
a little later.
238
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,280
Guess who christened the outhouse.
239
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,280
It was me! I destroyed it!
240
00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,500
Everything's destroyed
here, Dad. It's a dump.
241
00:11:24,590 --> 00:11:27,940
The powder dump begins.
242
00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:31,990
Tomorrow, we shall ski
upon pillows of fairy dust.
243
00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:33,380
We'll need plenty of rest,
244
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,420
so it's time for everyone
to go to sleep.
245
00:11:35,470 --> 00:11:38,560
But it's so early! Nobody's tired!
246
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,860
Don't worry, I found
a gasoline-soaked rag
247
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,130
we can all share.
248
00:11:42,170 --> 00:11:43,950
I'll use it first,
and when I pass out,
249
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,220
you can remove it
from my face so I don't die.
250
00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,350
Then the next person
will take it, pass out,
251
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,700
and so forth
in a round-robin system.
252
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,010
But what about the last person?
253
00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,190
A big snowball?
254
00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:02,580
Wait. There's something in here.
255
00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:09,200
"Dearest Smiths,
I bring news of a better life"
256
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,240
just a few hundred feet above you,
257
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,720
where the champagne
flows like wine,
258
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:16,290
and the wine also flows like wine.
259
00:12:16,330 --> 00:12:18,900
There's a lotta booze up here
is what I'm saying.
260
00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:20,340
And I have a plan.
261
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,300
Did you get my big snowball note
about the plan?!
262
00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:32,570
The rain rules out everything
west of the Mississippi,
263
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:35,790
and TeleStar has no offices
north of Philadelphia.
264
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,830
You said Sara called you "sugar."
265
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,270
In a Southern accent...
The sweet kind,
266
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,880
not the swamp-person kind.
267
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:44,620
What else?
I need details, damn it!
268
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,760
She was super into me,
269
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,110
practically trying to bang me
over the phone...
270
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:51,280
No made-up details.
271
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,330
Sorry, you didn't specify.
272
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:55,630
I heard a train whistle!
273
00:12:57,770 --> 00:13:01,160
That's an Amtrak Viewliner 3850.
274
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:03,690
Says here, "Only one left
in circulation,
275
00:13:03,730 --> 00:13:06,210
runs daily from DC to Blacksburg."
276
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:08,390
And at the time you called Sara,
277
00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:11,000
it was cruisin'
right through Roanoke.
278
00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,480
My true love works in Roanoke!
279
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:16,920
They've got the best
Jersey Mike's!
280
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,480
It's a match made in heaven!
281
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,670
We're getting dusted pretty good.
282
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:31,240
I should make sure
they can breathe.
283
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,630
This isn't Steve at all!
284
00:13:35,670 --> 00:13:37,150
It's a snowsteve!
285
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,370
A steveman? A stevesnow?
286
00:13:40,810 --> 00:13:42,460
Hayley? Jeff?
287
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,680
Francine, the kids snuck out
288
00:13:45,730 --> 00:13:48,030
and replaced themselves
with snowkids!
289
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,340
Kidmen? Snowsnows?
290
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:51,300
We gotta find them.
291
00:14:06,620 --> 00:14:08,750
One, two, three...
292
00:14:08,790 --> 00:14:10,190
shot ski!
293
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,150
You've all betrayed me!
294
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:17,150
My plan worked!
Stan's ready to join the fun!
295
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:20,150
I dunno.
He's kinda got murder face.
296
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,160
Roger I get, but the rest of you
are blood relatives.
297
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,200
Well, technically,
only Steve and Hayley are,
298
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,160
but Francine and me
do it all the time,
299
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,080
and Jeff and I
became blood brothers
300
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,950
after we found that dead body
by the train tracks.
301
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,480
Sorry we left you, Dad.
It's just...
302
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,570
How do I say this?
303
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,870
Your trip sucks, and après ski
is way more fun.
304
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,350
That's exactly how you say it.
305
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,530
We tried to be nice, honey,
306
00:14:46,570 --> 00:14:48,400
but just because you grew up poor
307
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,750
and had to pretend to like
terrible vacations
308
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,620
doesn't mean we have to.
309
00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:55,010
For the last time,
we weren't poor!
310
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,970
We all shared one fork
to save time doing dishes!
311
00:14:58,020 --> 00:14:59,240
And I don't need any of you!
312
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,500
I can do a family trip
all by myself!
313
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:04,720
It's coming down heavy.
314
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,420
I can't see the trail.
315
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:11,600
Oh, God, I've lost my way!
I'm gonna die out here!
316
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,550
Wait. There's a light. I'm saved!
317
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,900
Lord, you saved me!
318
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,300
What?
319
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,740
Who needs a loving family
to enjoy things with?
320
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:34,180
Those fools have no idea
what they're missing.
321
00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:35,360
Whee!
322
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,800
Yeah!
323
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,760
Yes! Me!
324
00:15:42,370 --> 00:15:44,320
Wake up, party people!
325
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:48,810
MC Avalanche is cookin' up
fat beats and salty meats
326
00:15:48,850 --> 00:15:53,510
for your boozy brunchy pleasure!
327
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:56,080
Mimosa time, bitches!
328
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,690
Poor Stan.
329
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,080
Will you ever find what
you've been looking for?
330
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,870
This is exactly what
I've been looking for!
331
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:06,650
Yee-haw!
332
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:08,870
Haw... Haw!
333
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,610
Oh, God, oh, God!
334
00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:17,180
I'm doing it!
I'm outrunning the avalanche!
335
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:24,230
Stan got buried by
an avalanche at the dump!
336
00:16:25,410 --> 00:16:26,930
M-mittens!
337
00:16:29,110 --> 00:16:30,630
Oh, my God!
338
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,550
Après ski crew,
339
00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:35,460
I call on you to help us
find our missing friend!
340
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:43,910
- Nah.
- Nah?
341
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:45,560
Yeah, nah. We wanna keep partying.
342
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,700
This is the address.
343
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:55,960
You sure you wanna do this?
344
00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:58,310
I'm good at figuring out
where people are
345
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,840
but not so good at figuring out
where they are emotionally.
346
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,450
If it's meant to be,
it's meant to be.
347
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:22,600
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
348
00:17:46,010 --> 00:17:48,880
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
349
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,240
Not much air left.
350
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:03,770
Must take...
351
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,940
smallest breaths possible...
352
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:07,120
because running out of air...
353
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:09,770
let's just say...
354
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:11,910
isn't the best outcome...
355
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,000
for ol' Stan Smith.
356
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,960
This ski trip sucks!
357
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,650
Why doesn't our cabin
have any heat?
358
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,960
Because we're getting away
from it all, that's why!
359
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,310
Can't we go to the regular zoo?
360
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,970
This is better
than the regular zoo.
361
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:32,230
The animals are in
their natural habitat.
362
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,850
Stan, go check if there's
anything left in that.
363
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,980
This cruise sucks!
364
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,460
Why can't we leave our room?
365
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,590
Because it's not
a real cruise, Stan!
366
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,470
We're very, very poor!
367
00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:51,950
How the hell does this imbecile
not get it by now?!
368
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,860
My childhood family trips...
369
00:18:56,910 --> 00:18:58,950
actually sucked!
370
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,910
And there's a chance...
371
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,870
we were kinda...
372
00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:03,960
poor.
373
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:10,400
Stop après skiing and help me
find my papa!
374
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:16,800
Hey, gang! You guys love
partying, we wanna search!
375
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,100
What if we combine
the two and do...
376
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:20,320
a search party?
377
00:19:25,150 --> 00:19:28,030
Search party!
378
00:19:29,850 --> 00:19:32,340
- Yeah!
- I'm gonna be a hero!
379
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,390
Après Squad, fan out
and find Stan!
380
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:45,090
Par-tay!
381
00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:47,000
Yeah!
382
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:48,440
Let's find Dan!
383
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:54,310
Oh, Stan.
384
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,880
You only wanted us
to have a fun trip.
385
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,020
Look! Dad's crappy old wooden ski!
386
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:08,810
Breathe, Dad!
387
00:20:08,850 --> 00:20:10,590
Breathe your stupid
fresh mountain air!
388
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,550
- Life!
- Thanks, guys.
389
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,040
You know, while I was
trapped in there,
390
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,470
I had a lot of time
to hallucinate.
391
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,260
I've been forcing this
crappy trip on all of you.
392
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,090
I'm a failure as a parent.
393
00:20:27,130 --> 00:20:28,570
I wouldn't say that.
394
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:31,180
Sure, they only had fun
because you drove them away,
395
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:32,790
but you still gave them
396
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:35,140
a better vacation
than you had growing up.
397
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,400
I did, didn't I?
398
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,580
I broke the vicious cycle of
having to take crappy vacations.
399
00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:44,540
Let's après ski!
400
00:20:44,580 --> 00:20:46,500
Hit it, MC Avalanche!
401
00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:49,980
I don't think he's able to.
402
00:20:50,020 --> 00:20:53,760
Oh. Then maybe call an ambulance!
403
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,510
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
29201
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