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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,671
PETE: That's why I write down
my workout results.
2
00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,473
Sometimes you just need to see
the progress on paper, you know?
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:07,641
No. I don't understand
voluntary exercise.
4
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:09,009
I also don't understand why
5
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:10,911
any live band needs
a third guitarist.
6
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,414
Sometimes I feel like
we just talk at each other.
7
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,648
Here's the house where
Randy volunteers.
8
00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,484
Buckle up.
(utensil clinks on glass)
9
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,818
Votes are in, everyone.
10
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,420
The soldier care packages
for your husbands
11
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,322
overseas will be wrapped
12
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,990
in periwinkle blue
wrapping paper!
Yes!
13
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,393
Nancy, I'm aware
of Ben's nut allergy.
14
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,261
That's why we are nixing
peanut butter cups.
15
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,830
We're going with jelly beans,
and we're not looking back.
16
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,265
What is this,
an Army Wives Club?
17
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,000
They prefer "Family
Readiness Group."
18
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,735
Wow.
It's not all
fun and games.
19
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,237
I mean, he does do
some serious work.
20
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,771
What do you guys think?
21
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:41,342
This bow's big,
but this bow's bigger.
22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,576
I know.
23
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,412
Obviously, the bigger one.
24
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,348
CODY:
The army is filled with troops
on heroic missions,
25
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,517
and then there's us.
26
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,685
We take care of things at home.
27
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,787
We are the Rear Detachment.
28
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,424
Yes, we're soldiers.
29
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:04,798
So then the Wives Club
30
00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:06,066
circled up,
31
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,635
and they all started
braiding each other's hair.
32
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,637
Okay, that did not happen.
33
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,272
It ha happened.
Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,474
I don't appreciate
the term "Wives Club."
35
00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:14,875
Thank you, Sergeant Perez.
36
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,544
It's more like
"Randy's Hug Club."
37
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,312
ALL (groaning):
Oh!
38
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,047
RANDY:
Okay.
39
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,115
The Family Readiness Group
40
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,650
is full of great people
that support
41
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,885
their families overseas
and each other at home.
42
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,221
Okay, so don't just
call it Randy's...
43
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,556
Gossip Garden.
Cookie Casa.
44
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,224
Ranch house.
No, "ranch house"
45
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:31,392
is just a type of house.
46
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,893
Yeah.
PETE:
Wait a minute.
47
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,728
Who is this guy?
Sergeant Hill,
48
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,896
it's me, Private Ruiz.
49
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,965
I transferred from
Sergeant Perez's platoon.
50
00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,667
You were in my platoon?
51
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,802
Man, this place is cold.
52
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,237
PETE: Anyway,
brother, we're just
53
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,405
messing with you.
54
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,740
Have a beer.
55
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,843
I know you guys are just busting
my B's, but no booze for me.
56
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:51,512
Great.
Tomorrow's the Rear D
marksmanship test,
57
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,347
and I want to be sharp.
58
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:56,350
(all booing)
59
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,352
(burbling)
60
00:01:58,386 --> 00:01:59,753
Dobkiss does make
a good point.
61
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,522
Yeah, it's... I like it.
62
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,990
I don't want to just
pass the test.
63
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:06,093
I want to be the best soldier
Rear D has ever seen.
64
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,261
And that means winning
65
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,996
the General Murray Trophy
for top shot.
66
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,164
PEREZ:
Haven't you heard?
67
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,599
I win that trophy every year.
68
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,701
That is before I got here.
RANDY:
I'm sorry, Pete.
69
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,102
This is my year to shine.
70
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,604
So let me apologize now
71
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,439
for yelling "In your face!"
in your face
72
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,840
when I beat you tomorrow.
73
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,709
I'm not gonna mean it,
but I'm still gonna do it.
74
00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,545
Thanks for the heads-up, buddy.
(overlapping responses)
75
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,879
(sighs deeply)
76
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,349
(gunfire)
77
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,386
(snoring)
78
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,654
(gunfire)
79
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,055
(groaning)
80
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,057
Give me. Give me,
give me, give me.
81
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:39,126
(gunfire continues)
82
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,127
(grunts)
83
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,128
Ah!
84
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,730
(gunfire continues)
85
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,746
I'm here to announce the results
of the Rear D marksmanship test.
86
00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,715
But before we begin, uh,
Dobkiss, your boots are untied.
87
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:04,585
No, they're not.
Gotcha. (laughs)
88
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:05,686
Well, now that we've had
89
00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,488
a little fun,
let's get down to business.
90
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,358
The winner of the coveted
General Murray Trophy.
91
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,826
I wouldn't want to win that.
92
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,328
He's gonna give me
night terrors.
93
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,430
That statue looks like
Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.
94
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,266
It pretty much sums up
how I feel about the Army.
95
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,166
That thing's sweet.
96
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,001
This stunning trophy
97
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,170
represents General Murray's
passion for excellence.
98
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,338
Unfortunately,
99
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,574
he lost half his face
100
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,676
in a freak barbecue accident
in my backyard.
101
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,912
This will be the first of many
times you're gonna lose to me.
102
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,014
Hush. He's about
to announce your failure.
103
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,182
And the winner is...
104
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,750
Sergeant Jill Perez!
105
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,420
Yes! Eat it, Pete!
Eat it like a big old...
106
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,854
...and Sergeant Pete Hill!
Yeah!
107
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,690
Wait. What?
108
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,358
It's a tie.
A tie?
109
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,526
Congratulations.
110
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,694
You'll be sharing the trophy.
111
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,696
You got to be kidding me.
(Perez scoffs)
112
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,030
And now, the other results.
113
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,032
When I call your name,
please step forward to receive
114
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,534
your marksmanship badge.
115
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,036
Oh, hell, let's speed this up.
Randy...
116
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,371
Second place.
117
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,206
Step back.
The rest of you-- you passed.
118
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,542
What? I don't understand.
119
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,277
Oh, boy.
120
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,047
Well, this isn't
gonna be pretty.
121
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,382
Nope.
122
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,050
I bet Randy's already
doing that thing
123
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,252
where he won't make eye contact
with us.
124
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,323
You know what?
I'll talk to him.
125
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,624
CODY:
On with the ceremony.
126
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,726
Oh, hell, this is a lot
of badges.
127
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:19,960
Private Hill, since
128
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,295
you're not doing anything,
come up here
129
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,630
and help me hand out
these badges.
130
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:29,537
Private Dobkiss.
131
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,142
Congratulations.
132
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,677
Wow, it's awesome
to win something
133
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,145
when you're this hung over.
134
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,913
It's like, what can't I do?
135
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,982
Shut up, Dobkiss.
136
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,183
All right, we both know
137
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,752
we're not sharing
that ugly-ass trophy,
138
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,186
so let's settle
this right now.
139
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,422
Okay, whoever
wins gets the
trophy, but
140
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,023
whoever loses gets
a giant number two
141
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:51,191
written on their forehead.
142
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,460
Deal.
Yes.
143
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,927
But this isn't
even a true test.
144
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,429
A real soldier can shoot
under duress,
145
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,865
which I proved to great
acclaim in Afghanistan.
146
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,166
Then let's add some duress.
147
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:00,701
Have your platoon cover
our eyes while we shoot.
148
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,202
(scoffs)
Shoot blindfolded?
149
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,504
I sleep blindfolded.
150
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,240
That's the one time
that comeback doesn't work.
151
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:15,616
They're the same!
152
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,718
We tied.
We need more duress.
153
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,119
What you gonna do?!
154
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,954
You're my dirty
little boy, ain't ya?!
155
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,456
Your skin is perfect!
156
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:24,858
Your hair looks like it was
spun by Rumpelstiltskin!
157
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:26,460
Why are you still single?!
158
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:29,597
It's a tie again!
You did it!
159
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,634
Okay, leapfrog a private,
160
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,135
barrel roll,
then pop up and shoot.
161
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,303
How's that sound?
162
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,971
Like a huge
safety violation.
163
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,306
All right,
as range supervisor,
164
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,874
I'm gonna need you to
vacate the premises.
165
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,309
Come on, Barry!
166
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,645
Barry? My name is Charles.
167
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,814
Well, I used to be
in your platoon.
168
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,215
Really?
169
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,751
Cold, man. Cold.
170
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,823
Hey, buddy.
171
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,324
How are you doing?
172
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,726
Also, what are you doing?
173
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,993
I ordered this victory cake,
174
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,329
and now I'm throwing it away.
175
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,064
Don't think you need to cut it
up before you throw it out.
176
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,499
Well, it came
with this cake cutter,
177
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,001
and I just wanted to hold
a weapon I can actually use.
178
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,169
(sighs)
179
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,337
I'm sorry, Randy.
180
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,572
I just don't get it.
181
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,773
I passed
in basic training.
182
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,508
How could I have gotten
so much worse?
183
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,010
Don't beat yourself up,
but if you do, I'm here to talk.
184
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:19,346
Thanks, brother.
I really appreciate...
185
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:23,183
Since when do you care
about my feelings?
186
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:26,353
Oh, come on, I'm-I'm always up
for a brother huddle.
187
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,055
Okay, something's wrong.
188
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,123
You're acting like
you're guilty of something.
189
00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,559
Me? What? No.
Come on, let's...
190
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,026
You know, let's have...
let's have a slice of cake!
191
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,027
Oh, strawberry filling--
my favorite!
192
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,096
Okay... you think
I'm gonna sit here
193
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,364
and listen to you
sing the praises
194
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,899
of strawberry filling
when we both know
195
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,701
you've been a banana man since
Mom baked you that monkey cake
196
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,869
on your eighth birthday?!
197
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,471
What's going on, Derrick?!
198
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,205
All right, fine!
I'll tell you, okay?
199
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,707
Here's the thing.
Back in basic,
200
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,776
I kind of sort of...
201
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,214
Whoo! Yeah!
202
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,148
Feels good.
203
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,617
Yeah, baby.
204
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:57,785
All right.
205
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,219
Go Army, huh?
Yeah, brothers.
206
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,488
This is fun.
Cool.
207
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,723
You cheated for me?
208
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,392
Kind of sort of... yeah.
209
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,662
Oh... can not believe this!
210
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,063
I cannot believe this!
211
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,632
I do not believe this!
212
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,567
This is unbelievable!
213
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:14,902
Okay, calm down.
No!
214
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,069
No!
215
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,738
How could you do this to me?
216
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,306
I did it for you.
217
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,508
You're the one
who's always talking
218
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:21,942
about how you love
being a soldier.
219
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,410
I'm the one
who made that wish come true.
220
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,481
Well, stop granting my wishes,
evil genie.
221
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,517
Stop it!
222
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,085
Evil Genie...
223
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,954
I'd watch that show.
224
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:38,959
(drill whirrs briefly)
225
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,495
Hey, buddy,
you need some help?
226
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,363
There are things I can
do on my own, Derrick.
227
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,034
I can't believe
you cheated for me.
228
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,335
My whole life's been a lie.
229
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,437
Not your whole life,
just the Army part.
230
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,272
The Army part is the only part
that matters.
231
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,441
If I can't pass this test,
they might kick me out.
232
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,777
You can take a re-test.
What if I fail that?
233
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,946
Dad was in the Army,
Pete's in the Army.
234
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,515
You don't even want to be in the
Army, and you're in the Army.
True.
235
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:04,952
If I'm not in the Army...
I'm not in the family.
236
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:08,121
I never thought
about it like that.
237
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,289
Yeah, tell me about it.
238
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,624
The whole thing
just donged on me.
239
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,626
Donged?! I think
you mean "dawned."
240
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:13,694
No, I mean donged.
241
00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,529
You hit a gong,
it makes a dong sound,
242
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:16,897
and then you realize something.
243
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,399
Any other day, and I could have
a field day with this.
244
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,301
I mean, what am I gonna do
in formation tomorrow?
245
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,637
I can't look Pete in the eye.
I'm not a real soldier.
246
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:24,872
Listen, hope isn't lost.
247
00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,807
You'll take a retest,
and I'll help you.
248
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,975
Really?
249
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,142
I did it once, I'll do it again.
250
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,878
No, Derrick,
you cannot cheat for me!
251
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,312
Okay, that makes it harder.
252
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,147
I'll just have to train you.
253
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,150
Don't smile.
254
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,719
(humming)
255
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:41,221
What the hell?!
256
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:44,324
What are you fools doing
in my swim lane?
257
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,226
One of us has to win the
General Murray Trophy.
258
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,595
We couldn't use
the gun range,
259
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,096
so we had to pick another
soldier skill to compete at.
260
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,698
Don't worry, Sergeant Major.
261
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,399
We'll be out of your way in
no time. Pete's about to quit.
262
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:54,034
My varsity water polo
letterman's jacket says
263
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,669
you don't know
what you're talking about.
264
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:56,904
Get out of my pool!
265
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,772
But we're still tied!
CODY: That's an order!
266
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:02,676
I'm coming in,
and I don't swim in chop.
267
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,211
All right, you sure
this is a good time to train?
268
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,412
Isn't this usually
269
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,447
when you wife-out at the
Family Readiness Group?
270
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,616
This takes priority.
271
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,350
Besides, I got someone
to cover for me.
272
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,619
Before we get started,
273
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,088
would you ladies like me
to take my shirt off?
274
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:18,125
This'll be easy. We just have to
take your great practice results
275
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,860
and translate them to
the marksmanship test.
276
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,895
Yeah, about that.
277
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:25,432
I never really hit the targets
in practice, either.
278
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,701
What? Then why were
you so confident?
279
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:29,369
I assumed
that in the actual test,
280
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,537
adrenaline would just take over.
281
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,641
Like a mother bear
lifting a car off of a baby.
282
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:37,077
You're lucky I'm feeling
super guilty about all this,
283
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,311
'cause you're being a
real handful right now.
284
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,148
All right, walk me
through your process.
285
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,817
I assume a firm firing stance,
286
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,619
put the rifle
to my shoulder,
287
00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:48,221
and then I take aim
at the man out there.
288
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,823
Hold on. Man?
289
00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:51,224
Yeah, a man's what
I'm shooting at.
290
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,561
So, when you take aim,
you picture the target as a man?
291
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,997
Yeah. Let's-let's
call him Harold.
292
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,466
What I do is,
I get Harold in my sights.
293
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:03,570
Then I start thinking about
his wife and his three kids
294
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,505
and his day job
at the rubber factory,
295
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:08,475
and his night job at the
roller rink, and how he works
296
00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:09,843
too hard,
but he never complains.
297
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:11,645
That's just
the kind of guy he is.
298
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,813
All right, stop it.
299
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,414
I think I know
what the problem might be.
300
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,783
Yeah, Harold should demand
a raise,
301
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,184
but you've seen
the unemployment numbers.
302
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,251
Management holds
all the cards.
303
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,220
Seriously, brother,
any other day.
304
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,702
Tie.
Damn it!
305
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:44,311
Oh! Unreal!
306
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,578
(groans)
Another tie.
307
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,950
Shouldn't we be practicing?
308
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:54,154
We can't fix things out there
until we fix things up here.
309
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,289
My hair? The Army kind of
limits my options, but
310
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,826
if you want to put together a
look-book, I'll show the barber.
311
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,027
Your mind, Randy. Okay?
312
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,862
You're visualizing
your targets as people
313
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,663
and it's keeping you
from shooting them.
314
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,832
You're being too emotional.
315
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,066
(snorts): Okay.
316
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,701
I'm not emotional.
Really?
317
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:09,136
Hell, no, I'm stone-cold.
318
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:11,071
Okay, let's try a
test. Recite the plot
319
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,373
of Toy Story 3
without choking up.
320
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,474
(chuckles): Okay, fine.
321
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,309
Uh, we open on Mr. Potato Head,
322
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,678
robbing a trainful of orphans.
323
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,183
Those fuzzy-headed trolls
just wanted a better life.
324
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,752
(whimpers, cries)
325
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,086
There it is.
326
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,721
The big old cry-face.
327
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,757
I don't know what
you're talking about.
328
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,424
We're gonna drill this
until you drop your emotions
329
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,760
so you can fire your rifle.
330
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:33,827
Now try it again.
331
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,864
We open on Mr. Potato Head...
332
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,399
robbing a trainful of...
333
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,234
(blubbers)
334
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:45,005
(crying)
335
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,240
(wailing)
336
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,910
Come on, Randy, you're just
describing the opening logo.
337
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:52,445
That lamp doesn't have a family.
338
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,181
Oh, my God. Again.
339
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,283
(Randy sobbing)
340
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,618
And the toys... and
then Rex and the Slinky...
341
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,854
(wailing)
342
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,589
and the little Cowgirl...
343
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:04,724
(sobs)
344
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,459
We're not even talking,
you're just crying now.
345
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,695
It's a whole story of toys.
346
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,264
(continues sobbing)
347
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,434
Ow!
348
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,905
The boy's packing
for college,
349
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,840
but he leaves Woody
and Buzz behind.
350
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:24,111
(voice breaking): Because he
doesn't care about 'em anymore.
351
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,979
Again.
I know.
352
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:29,216
And in the end, the toys
begin their new lives
353
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,884
with Bonnie next door.
354
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,385
And who is this Bonnie?
355
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,589
She's the kindest, sweetest
girl in the whole world.
356
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,160
Who cares.
357
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:41,494
You did it, Randy.
358
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,596
You finally made it
all the way without choking up.
359
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:44,664
You're ready.
360
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,299
Does that mean I can
have an ice cream?
361
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,235
No.
362
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,502
Good.
363
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,009
Thank you for agreeing
to be our judges.
364
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,111
Sergeant Perez and I
have prepared meals
365
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,580
using traditional
Army ingredients.
366
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,748
PEREZ:
What I have for you today
367
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,584
are braised chicken thighs
in a white wine reduction
368
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,320
with caramelized shallots.
369
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,195
And I have
prepared
370
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,630
meat and potatoes.
371
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:18,798
Oh.
372
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,634
The potato has been prepared
one-ways, baked.
373
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,271
And the meat has been cooked
until it was brown.
374
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,505
Enjoy.
375
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,624
I'm tasting a seasoning
I can't quite place.
376
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,226
Is it...
377
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:47,961
salt?
378
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,629
Bingo.
379
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,131
Maybe not enough.
380
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,732
Ah, interesting.
Oh.
381
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:53,934
Hmm.
382
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,804
Sergeant Perez,
383
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,140
I love how you let the chicken
be the hero in this dish.
384
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,675
It had a sense of humor
and a real gravitas.
385
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:03,676
I vote for you.
386
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:04,978
Oh. Yes.
387
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:08,248
RUIZ: Sergeant Hill,
your brown meat dish
388
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,983
was burnt.
389
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,784
And oddly sour.
390
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,354
I vote for you.
391
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:15,989
Mmm!
392
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,525
(Dobkiss clears throat)
393
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:21,161
I always ask myself
one question:
394
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:24,197
Is this better than a calzone?
395
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,966
And the answer,
in both cases...
396
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,869
...was no.
397
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,505
Gentlemen,
398
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:33,773
let's get out of here.
399
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,508
(silverware clatters)
400
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,344
Did we just tie again?
401
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,013
My dish is so much
better than yours.
That's ridiculous.
402
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:43,516
Taste it. Eat it.
Well, I'm not gonna taste yours
unless you taste mine.
403
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:45,752
Mm?
404
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,287
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
405
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,421
Mm?
Mm?
406
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,622
You two bozos.
407
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,392
My office, 0800.
408
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,194
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
409
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,362
(knocking)
410
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,197
Sergeant Major,
you wanted to see us?
411
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,966
Oh, good God, you
both look awful.
412
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,201
Oh, well, that's because
we were up all night
counting constellations
413
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,535
to see who's better
at navigating
414
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,870
by the stars.
415
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,139
But we tied again, even
though Pete tried to cheat.
416
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,975
Orion's Beard is a thing.
No, it's not.
417
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,376
Yeah, it's not. (laughs)
Ugh.
418
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,478
A constellation
counting contest.
Yeah.
419
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,880
More like a full-fledged
flirt-fest.
420
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,415
With all due respect,
Sergeant Major,
421
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,716
That's insane.
What?!
422
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,118
You two have been using
this trophy as an excuse
423
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,487
to have a secret
soldier smooch seminar.
424
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,821
What's happening?
Why are you doing that?
425
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:22,922
It's called alliteration.
426
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,391
It makes language more colorful.
427
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,425
My point is...
428
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,327
cut it out!
429
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,729
It's unbecoming for your troops
to see you like this.
430
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:30,964
Sergeant Major,
431
00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:31,999
we're not flirting.
432
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,167
PEREZ: No.
That casual glance
433
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:35,902
you just shared says otherwise.
434
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,505
You see, your prancing
pupils polka'd p...
435
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,107
Oh, hell, I just lost it.
436
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,741
Dismissed.
437
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,277
Stop doing that,
the wind's not a factor.
438
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,014
You ready to dominate
this retest, or what?
I'm ready!
439
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,516
Got to give me a little
bit more warning before you
scream directly into my face.
440
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:50,583
Okay, Private Hill.
441
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:51,651
It's time.
442
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:52,785
Thank you, Sergeant Major.
443
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,055
Remember your training.
444
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,128
(exhales)
445
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,933
The white-hot incinerator
looms in the distance.
446
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,102
Buzz looks to Jesse...
447
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,937
and Rex...
448
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,805
and Mr. Potato Head.
449
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:18,378
They join hands and descend
into the fiery inferno.
450
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,614
Will they survive?
451
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,084
Who cares?
452
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,556
Looks good from here,
Private Hill.
453
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,324
Yes, dude, you passed.
454
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,825
Damn right I did.
455
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,529
I'm a stone-cold killer.
456
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,830
Hooah.
457
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,399
(gunshots)
458
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,968
Yeah, great.
459
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,836
Stone-cold.
460
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,340
Congratulations, Private.
461
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,841
Thank you, Sergeant Major.
462
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,412
Better luck
next time, guys.
463
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,313
We already
passed.
464
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,547
Let him have
this one, boo.
465
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,582
Okay.
466
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:56,783
Fall out.
467
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,519
PETE:
Proud of you, brother.
468
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,687
Thanks, Pete.
469
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,988
I couldn't have done
it without Derrick.
470
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,490
He really drilled me hard.
471
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,757
There's a better way
of saying that.
472
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,993
No, there's not.
You drilled me harder
473
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,496
than I've ever been
drilled in my entire life.
474
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,030
Apparently there's a much
worse way of saying that.
475
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,999
Yeah. I'm impressed.
476
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,434
I didn't think you
had it in you, but
477
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,868
you created a real soldier.
478
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,837
He put what he
has in him in me.
479
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,672
Now when I get
deployed I can fight.
480
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:20,873
Just like you.
481
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,142
Thank you, Derrick.
482
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,249
Yeah.
483
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:33,920
BOTH:
One, two, three, shoot.
484
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,054
(sighs)
Damn it.
485
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:37,457
We even have flawless
roshambo strategies.
486
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,692
We've been at this for
30 hours straight.
487
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,094
Wait, that's it.
488
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,029
Whoever falls asleep first loses
489
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,298
and gets a number two
written on their forehead.
490
00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:46,433
Sleep deprivation, I like it.
491
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,767
You know, once,
in the Korengal Valley...
492
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,769
No one cares.
493
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:50,803
This looks like a good spot.
494
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,038
Right.
Yeah.
495
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,640
People can see if we're
cheating or flirting.
496
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,641
Or flirting?
497
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,608
You just said that.
498
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:56,776
Right.
Damn it.
499
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,745
Now we're tying in talking.
500
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,779
(sighs)
501
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,748
After you.
502
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,323
Cody's crazy.
503
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:11,958
This is not flirting.
504
00:18:11,991 --> 00:18:13,960
Nope. Just staring
into your eyes
505
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,963
so I can watch
you fall asleep.
Yup.
506
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:18,831
I'm gonna scoot on back
just a little bit.
507
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:19,999
Yeah, I'll give you some space.
Yeah. Okay.
508
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,469
(clears throat)
509
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,004
Corporal Hill.
You... d-don't tell me.
510
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,806
You've convinced Dobkiss
to climb that tree again,
511
00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:28,608
knowing damn well
he can't get down.
No,
512
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,777
Sergeant Major,
it's actually about Randy.
Oh.
513
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:31,811
So you want to be praised.
514
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:34,681
Well, good work. Boom.
515
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:35,948
You've been praised.
516
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,117
And I feel it.
But about Randy?
517
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,852
I-I was really proud of him.
518
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:42,088
But as you were pinning
that badge on, I just...
519
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,157
I kind of feel like
I did the wrong thing.
520
00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,459
Passing the marksmanship test
is part of being in the Army.
521
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,494
Sergeant Major,
522
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,296
Randy is a kind,
523
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,330
empathetic, emotional guy.
524
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:52,765
And I taught him how
to shut all that off
525
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,335
so he could live this dream of
being a super soldier like Pete,
526
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:56,636
but he's just not like that.
527
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:57,670
If he's ever deployed...
528
00:18:57,704 --> 00:19:00,207
If he ever is deployed...
529
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,809
you saved his life by
teaching him to shoot.
530
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,444
I understand.
531
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,879
What I'm struggling with is...
532
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,615
I helped Randy stay in the Army
533
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,717
when maybe he doesn't
belong in the Army at all.
534
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:13,720
Come with me.
535
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,057
This is the opposite
of flirting.
536
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,359
Nothing romantic here.
537
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:20,493
Nope.
538
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:23,696
Was that a shooting star?
539
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,865
I think so.
540
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:28,335
(violin starts playing)
541
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,702
Hello, Sergeants.
542
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:30,703
Oh, don't mind me.
543
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,038
I can't practice in the barracks
544
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:33,373
without getting punched.
545
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,408
Wow. I actually
love that song.
546
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,909
(fireworks popping)
547
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,412
Mm.
Fireworks night
548
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,214
at the ballpark.
549
00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:44,584
Maybe this wasn't the
best place to do this.
550
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,754
Corporal Hill,
I understand your concerns.
551
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:50,557
But being a soldier
means many different things.
552
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,526
It's a lot more than just being
able to fire a weapon in combat.
553
00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,229
RANDY:
So...
554
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,830
How long has Ben been away?
555
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,899
Oh, gosh. Over
a year now.
556
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,570
And every night I stay up,
wondering if he's gonna be okay.
557
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:04,871
Am I crazy?
558
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,072
Not at all.
559
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,374
I know exactly how you feel.
560
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,741
When my brother
Pete was deployed,
561
00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:10,910
all I could think about
was him returning home safe.
562
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,279
Well, that
563
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,946
and Celebrity Apprentice.
(laughs)
564
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,047
What a mess, huh?
565
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:18,918
I just wish my husband knew
how much I missed him.
566
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,720
I promise you that he does.
567
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,355
And you're gonna
get through this.
568
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,423
Hey, I got through it,
569
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,091
and you are ten times
tougher than me.
570
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:27,894
Thanks, Randy.
571
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,397
(clears throat)
Randy's a fine soldier.
572
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,765
We need more men like
him Rear D, not less.
573
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,567
I see that now,
Sergeant Major.
574
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,769
He gets what this place
is all about.
575
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:37,937
As opposed to some.
576
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,472
Got it.
Understand,
577
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,641
I'm not just
complimenting Randy.
578
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:42,775
I'm insulting you.
579
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,076
Understood.
580
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:49,482
WOMAN:
Hey, Randy, I've got some stuff
581
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:51,150
for the toy drive.
All right.
582
00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,488
(Randy sighs)
583
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,625
(voice breaking):
Betty, I'm gonna need a minute.
584
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,327
(chuckles)
585
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:03,996
(yawns)
586
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,668
(sympathetically):
Mmm.
587
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,543
(snoring)
588
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,282
(whispers):
I win.
589
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,190
Good night, Number Two.
590
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:34,361
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
591
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:35,628
PEREZ:
Ow.
41352
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