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1
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:41,406
Okay. You didn't
pause the movie.
2
00:00:41,407 --> 00:00:42,640
You didn't ask me to.
3
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:44,742
I shouldn't
have to ask.
4
00:00:44,743 --> 00:00:46,927
If someone leaves the room,
you press pause.
5
00:00:46,928 --> 00:00:49,030
I mean,
we're not animals.
6
00:00:49,031 --> 00:00:51,366
You only missed a minute.
7
00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:52,900
Wait a second,
they're in Egypt now.
8
00:00:52,901 --> 00:00:54,569
How the hell did they
get out of Jersey?
9
00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:56,338
All right, fine.
I will rewind it.
10
00:00:57,673 --> 00:01:00,274
Great. I-I just saw Nigel
get killed in reverse.
11
00:01:00,275 --> 00:01:01,710
Well, what do you
want me to do?
12
00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:03,895
You stop
and then rewind.
13
00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:05,229
Then I'm gonna go
too far.
14
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:06,514
That's a small price
to pay.
15
00:01:06,515 --> 00:01:08,532
O- o-okay. You know what?
New rule.
16
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:12,070
Someone leaves the room,
you press pause.
17
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,438
Yeah.
All right.
18
00:01:15,641 --> 00:01:16,741
Hello.
19
00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:18,643
Oh, hey, Lisa.
20
00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:20,345
Yeah, I have it
in my address book.
21
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,347
Hang on one second.
22
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:23,715
Yeah.
Mm.
23
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:24,749
Yeah.
24
00:01:25,818 --> 00:01:26,852
What?
25
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,319
The wedding's off?
26
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,387
Oh,
my god.
27
00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:30,989
Tell me
everything.
28
00:01:39,648 --> 00:01:41,082
Okay, new rule.
29
00:01:49,074 --> 00:01:51,876
Doug. Doug, I am
trying to talk to you.
30
00:01:51,877 --> 00:01:53,244
What do you need?
31
00:01:53,245 --> 00:01:55,413
I- I-I just need more
hot sauce for my wings.
32
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:57,031
You have plenty right there.
33
00:01:57,032 --> 00:01:58,349
Are you kidding me?
Look at my hands.
34
00:01:58,350 --> 00:01:59,750
They're almost clean.
Sh-
35
00:01:59,751 --> 00:02:01,786
Should look like
I just delivered a baby.
36
00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:06,541
Anyway, as you may
or may not know,
37
00:02:06,542 --> 00:02:08,276
it's almost
Valentine's Day-
38
00:02:08,277 --> 00:02:09,610
Yeah- Excuse me,
could I get-
39
00:02:09,611 --> 00:02:11,712
Okay, that was
intentional right there.
40
00:02:11,713 --> 00:02:13,047
Look.
41
00:02:13,048 --> 00:02:15,200
Please try and focus.
44
00:02:18,904 --> 00:02:20,805
and I thought we could do
something special.
45
00:02:20,806 --> 00:02:23,308
Do you any id-
Okey-dokey.
46
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,910
You finished with this?
Thank you.
47
00:02:25,911 --> 00:02:27,579
Okay. There. Great, thank you.
48
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,514
Now I can focus, all right.
I'm all yours, baby.
49
00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:30,948
Lay it on me. Okay, good.
50
00:02:30,949 --> 00:02:32,400
So, Valentine's Day...
51
00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:34,986
Hold that thought. I just gotta
get a refill here. Oh, my God.
52
00:02:34,987 --> 00:02:36,287
Oh, jeez.
53
00:02:36,288 --> 00:02:37,656
Danny's here.
54
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,107
So?
Ah.
55
00:02:39,108 --> 00:02:41,109
Some girl dumped him,
and he's all depressed.
56
00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:42,810
Depressed and annoying.
57
00:02:42,811 --> 00:02:45,412
That's a rough combo.
58
00:02:45,413 --> 00:02:46,398
Hey, guys.
59
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:47,532
Hi, Danny.
60
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,667
What you up to?
61
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,701
Ah, you know,
62
00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,236
just grabbing a cold one
by myself.
63
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,406
Don't need any lady
dragging me down.
64
00:02:56,141 --> 00:02:59,461
All alone,
just the way I like it.
65
00:02:59,462 --> 00:03:01,229
Love my alone time.
In fact, if you want-
66
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,330
you know what
- take her.
67
00:03:03,499 --> 00:03:05,433
Get her out of here.
68
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:07,285
I'm kidding.
I'll see you tomorrow, man.
69
00:03:07,286 --> 00:03:09,170
Join us.
Come on, join us.
70
00:03:09,171 --> 00:03:10,138
Oh, yeah,
okay, thanks.
71
00:03:10,139 --> 00:03:11,723
You wanna order
something to eat?
72
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:13,023
Uh, nah.
73
00:03:13,024 --> 00:03:15,393
Just gonna drink
till they call me a cab.
74
00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:18,429
It's been working
pretty well.
75
00:03:18,430 --> 00:03:19,630
So Doug tells me
you and the girl
76
00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:21,032
you were dating
broke up?
77
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:24,152
God, I really thought
Porsche was the one, you know?
78
00:03:24,153 --> 00:03:25,920
Then I found out
she was stripping.
79
00:03:25,921 --> 00:03:26,788
Really?
80
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:28,273
Yeah. And not even
in a club.
81
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:30,108
Just in general.
82
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,676
I don't know what
I'm doing wrong.
83
00:03:32,677 --> 00:03:33,844
I mean...
84
00:03:33,845 --> 00:03:36,347
what was it about Doug
that attracted you?
85
00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:39,300
Actually, Danny,
very common question. Um...
86
00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:40,935
Oh, please.
87
00:03:40,936 --> 00:03:43,070
You wanted me
from the moment you saw me
88
00:03:43,071 --> 00:03:45,473
in my mesh shirt
and white jeans.
89
00:03:47,108 --> 00:03:48,726
Yeah. You're thinking
about it right now.
90
00:03:48,727 --> 00:03:50,161
You're welcome, baby.
91
00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,397
Actually,
that mesh shirt
92
00:03:53,398 --> 00:03:55,266
made you look like
a bag of onions.
93
00:03:59,538 --> 00:04:01,473
Sweet onions.
94
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,109
That you loved to peel.
95
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:06,878
And they wouldn't
make you cry...
96
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:09,013
because they, uh...
97
00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:10,615
I'm done.
98
00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:13,851
Actually, Danny,
what attracted me to Doug
99
00:04:13,852 --> 00:04:15,487
was that
he was, um...
100
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,555
He was a nice guy,
and he made me laugh.
101
00:04:17,556 --> 00:04:20,525
And, um...
he surprised me.
102
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:21,675
Really? How?
103
00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:23,661
Well, um,
one night,
104
00:04:23,662 --> 00:04:25,396
when we were first dating
- Oh.
105
00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:26,931
What?
It's adora-
106
00:04:26,932 --> 00:04:29,400
We were dating, and I wasn't
totally sold on him yet.
107
00:04:29,401 --> 00:04:31,603
And we're just out walking,
and he gets real silent.
108
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,605
And I turn to him and I go,
"What's the matter?"
109
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,906
And he says, um...
110
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:36,140
No, you tell him.
111
00:04:36,141 --> 00:04:37,141
It's nothing!
112
00:04:37,142 --> 00:04:38,710
Tell him. Tell him.
All right.
113
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:41,946
I just said, "You didn't just
save my life, brown eyes...
114
00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:44,616
you made my life
worth saving. "
115
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,968
Isn't that beautiful?
116
00:04:46,969 --> 00:04:49,170
Truck driver, poet.
Somebody signed up
117
00:04:49,171 --> 00:04:50,939
for the premium package.
118
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,974
Yes, I did.
119
00:04:52,975 --> 00:04:53,975
And you know what?
120
00:04:53,976 --> 00:04:55,409
That line
just showed me
121
00:04:55,410 --> 00:04:56,778
that Doug wasn't
just this big,
122
00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:59,948
goofy jock, you know?
123
00:04:59,949 --> 00:05:01,949
You see that right there?
Th-that's what I want.
124
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,819
Ah, you know, why can't I
find a great girl?
125
00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:06,204
I could tell you
the truth, but...
126
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:07,572
it'd feel like
a donkey kick.
127
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,274
You know what it is,
Danny?
128
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,911
Every girl you meet, you- You
say that she's it, you know?
129
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,144
I know, I know.
130
00:05:14,145 --> 00:05:16,114
And relationships aren't
like that, you know?
131
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,682
I mean, sex is important,
but you gotta be friends first.
132
00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:21,352
You gotta connect
on emotional level.
133
00:05:21,353 --> 00:05:23,054
Really?
Yeah. Right, honey?
134
00:05:23,055 --> 00:05:25,473
You know what I need?
Some blue cheese. That's all.
135
00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:29,594
Ah. Buddy, can I
get another one?
136
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,701
Just leave
the bottle.
137
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:44,476
Oh.
Hey, Danny.
138
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,277
Holly. What are you
doing here?
139
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,879
Oh, my apartment's
being fumigated,
140
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,247
so I have to be out
for the night.
141
00:05:49,248 --> 00:05:50,849
And I just broke up
with my boyfriend,
142
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,518
so there goes
crashing in his van.
143
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,153
And after I just
carpeted it. Ugh!
144
00:05:57,322 --> 00:05:59,791
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
145
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,459
I just broke up
with my girlfriend too.
146
00:06:01,460 --> 00:06:03,895
Well- I thought
she broke up with you.
147
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:06,263
What is it,
in the papers?
148
00:06:06,264 --> 00:06:07,598
Oh, don't worry
about it.
149
00:06:07,599 --> 00:06:09,600
I mean, relationships suck,
right, Danny?
150
00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,436
Ugh. Tell me
about it.
151
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,904
I mean,
I'll tell you one guy
152
00:06:12,905 --> 00:06:14,639
that'll never
let you down though.
153
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,707
Mr. Samuel Adams.
Mm-hm.
154
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,476
You know who else
is always there for you?
155
00:06:18,477 --> 00:06:19,911
Mr. Jack Daniels!
156
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:21,412
Let's go, barkeep.
157
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,554
All right, this will
just take two seconds,
158
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,222
and we'll get
right back to the office.
159
00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:32,423
Oh, no rush.
160
00:06:32,424 --> 00:06:34,726
Wednesday afternoons
my boss has his affair.
161
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,160
Thanks a lot.
162
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,828
Hi, can I help you? Yes, hi.
163
00:06:37,829 --> 00:06:40,131
I bought a beer mug
here last week,
164
00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:42,600
and I want to have
something engraved on it.
165
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,284
No problem. Let me
just get my pad. Okay.
166
00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:45,769
What are you
putting on it?
167
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,705
Oh, just something Doug
said to me
168
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:48,906
when we were
first dating.
169
00:06:48,907 --> 00:06:51,476
And, uh, I was just thinking
about it yesterday.
170
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:53,660
What did he say?
Oh, well,
171
00:06:53,661 --> 00:06:55,713
we were just out walking
and out of the blue he said, um,
172
00:06:55,714 --> 00:06:57,849
"You didn't just save my life,
brown eyes,
173
00:06:57,850 --> 00:07:01,352
you made my life
worth saving. "
174
00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:02,620
Ohh.
Ohh.
175
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:04,689
That is
so sweet.
176
00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:06,674
Isn't it? I know. I just
wanted to find a cute way
177
00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:08,559
to tell him that
I feel the same way.
178
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,528
And with the amount of beer
he drinks, um...
179
00:07:10,529 --> 00:07:11,896
he'll see it a lot.
180
00:07:11,897 --> 00:07:13,164
Okay.
Yeah.
181
00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:15,349
Okay. What would you
like on it?
182
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:17,168
Okay. Uh, right across
the front,
183
00:07:17,169 --> 00:07:18,402
I would like it to say,
184
00:07:18,403 --> 00:07:21,172
"You didn't just save my life,
brown eyes,
185
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:24,475
you made my life
worth saving. "
186
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:28,078
That's excellent.
187
00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,816
What-?
What's so funny?
188
00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:33,684
No, it's just-
I love that movie.
189
00:07:33,685 --> 00:07:35,369
What movie?
190
00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:37,021
McCormick and JoJo?
191
00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,273
You're saying that line
came from a movie?
192
00:07:39,274 --> 00:07:41,075
Yeah. Erik Estrada
plays a cop,
193
00:07:41,076 --> 00:07:43,628
and he says it at the end
to his partner, JoJo.
194
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:44,862
The monkey?
195
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:48,566
He says it to a monkey?
196
00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:49,433
Yeah.
197
00:07:49,434 --> 00:07:51,185
We'll see you back
at the office.
198
00:07:51,186 --> 00:07:52,753
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
I'll see you there.
199
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:01,980
Danny, did you hide
my lactose pills again?
200
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:07,485
You know, I'm glad you think
my condition is so funny.
201
00:08:10,188 --> 00:08:11,823
Oh. Hey, Spence.
202
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,424
Holly?
203
00:08:13,425 --> 00:08:15,643
Hey. Good morning,
buddy.
204
00:08:15,644 --> 00:08:17,044
Okay...
205
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:21,298
Oh, hey, I just wanna say
thanks again for last night.
206
00:08:21,299 --> 00:08:23,584
Oh, hey. Thank you
so much for everything.
207
00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:25,869
See you guys later.
208
00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:28,406
Hey, nice P.J.s
there, buddy.
209
00:08:28,407 --> 00:08:29,840
I like
the Western theme.
210
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:32,042
What do you got, a little
bucking bronco there? Ooh!
211
00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:34,178
I kid 'cause
I'm in love.
212
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:38,349
Did Holly spend the night?
213
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:40,068
No, no, no. She just
came here this morning
214
00:08:40,069 --> 00:08:41,069
to put on her shoes.
215
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,837
Yeah, she spent the night.
216
00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:45,573
Why?
217
00:08:45,574 --> 00:08:47,342
Well, her apartment's
being fumigated.
218
00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:48,993
I told her she could
crash on my couch.
219
00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:50,695
And then she-
She makes up some story
220
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:52,397
about it having
a busted spring
221
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,198
that made her feel
uncomfortable.
222
00:08:54,199 --> 00:08:56,067
There is
a busted spring.
223
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,402
Anyway, point is
that, uh, you know,
224
00:08:58,403 --> 00:08:59,837
I was gentlemanly enough
225
00:08:59,838 --> 00:09:02,573
to, uh, give her refuge
in my bedroom.
226
00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:03,774
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:03,775 --> 00:09:06,043
So you guys actually
slept together?
228
00:09:06,044 --> 00:09:07,828
Yup.
Emphasis...
229
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:09,597
on slept.
230
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:12,884
I- Wait- So wait a minute.
So you guys didn't-
231
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,919
No. No,
we did not.
232
00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:18,355
We didn't touch
all night.
233
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:20,524
What are you bragging about?
234
00:09:20,525 --> 00:09:23,861
See, relationships
aren't just about sex.
235
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:25,363
You gotta be friends
with someone.
236
00:09:25,364 --> 00:09:27,832
You gotta connect
emotionally, you know.
237
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,900
And the fact that she did not
sleep with me
238
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:31,735
proves she's into me
as a person.
239
00:09:40,863 --> 00:09:42,864
Hey. I was thinking
about what you said.
240
00:09:42,865 --> 00:09:44,365
You wanted to do
something special
241
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,632
for Valentine's Day.
242
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:48,736
Well, what says
I love you
243
00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:52,673
more than seeing
a Van Halen cover band...
244
00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:54,808
followed by...
245
00:09:54,809 --> 00:09:56,477
a candlelit dinner
246
00:09:56,478 --> 00:09:58,812
at the restaurant
of your choosing?
247
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:01,015
As long as
they serve chili.
248
00:10:02,851 --> 00:10:05,119
Okay. We'll see.
249
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:07,521
What's all this?
250
00:10:07,522 --> 00:10:11,092
Oh, I just got us some
takeout from Shanghai Gardens,
251
00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:12,993
and I rented us a movie
to watch.
252
00:10:12,994 --> 00:10:14,462
Oh.
253
00:10:14,463 --> 00:10:15,930
Cool!
Yeah.
254
00:10:15,931 --> 00:10:17,197
What'd y-?
What'd you get?
255
00:10:17,198 --> 00:10:18,966
Oh, just a little movie
from the '80s
256
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:20,735
that caught my fancy.
257
00:10:22,604 --> 00:10:24,539
McCormick and JoJo.
258
00:10:27,275 --> 00:10:29,944
Hang on, JoJo. Hang on!
259
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,150
McCormick,
get the hell outta there!
260
00:10:36,151 --> 00:10:37,685
JoJo's here. No way-
261
00:10:37,686 --> 00:10:39,587
This doesn't look like
the beginning.
262
00:10:39,588 --> 00:10:40,822
No, Doug,
it's more like the end.
263
00:10:40,823 --> 00:10:43,290
Don't you die on me.
264
00:10:43,291 --> 00:10:45,025
Don't you leave me!
265
00:10:45,026 --> 00:10:46,927
Let me tell you
something.
266
00:10:46,928 --> 00:10:49,529
You didn't just save
my life, brown eyes,
267
00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:51,465
you made my life
worth saving.
268
00:11:08,817 --> 00:11:11,218
Case you were wondering,
JoJo makes it.
269
00:11:11,219 --> 00:11:13,587
I can't believe you!
270
00:11:13,588 --> 00:11:15,356
Take it easy, Carrie.
271
00:11:15,357 --> 00:11:16,957
Doug, do you know how
humiliated I was?
272
00:11:16,958 --> 00:11:18,058
I mean,
there I was
273
00:11:18,059 --> 00:11:19,993
bragging about how
romantic my husband is,
274
00:11:19,994 --> 00:11:22,196
about how beautiful
this line was.
275
00:11:22,197 --> 00:11:23,464
And a clerk in the store
tells me
276
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,500
it was originally said
to a monkey!
277
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:27,568
A monkey
that knows karate.
278
00:11:27,569 --> 00:11:28,553
Oh, my God.
279
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,821
And when I think about
all the times I told this story.
280
00:11:30,822 --> 00:11:32,189
People must think
I'm an idiot.
281
00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:34,625
Carrie, hardly anyone saw
McCormick and JoJo.
282
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:36,761
It came out the same time
as Turner and Hooch
283
00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,864
and just got steamrolled.
284
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,248
Let me ask you
a question, Doug.
285
00:11:41,249 --> 00:11:42,583
When you call me brown eyes,
286
00:11:42,584 --> 00:11:45,653
are you thinking about me
or the monkey?
287
00:11:45,654 --> 00:11:48,021
Almost always you.
Okay, that's-
288
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:49,573
I'm kidding!
Come on-
289
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:51,242
This happened
10 years ago.
290
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,177
I've done tons
worse stuff since then.
291
00:11:53,178 --> 00:11:54,678
Doug, you don't
understand.
292
00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,430
Okay, when you said
that line to me,
293
00:11:56,431 --> 00:11:58,232
it was at a time when
I wasn't sure about us.
294
00:11:58,233 --> 00:12:00,301
I didn't know if I wanted
to get serious with you.
295
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,568
And do you know
296
00:12:01,569 --> 00:12:03,503
that there was a guy
that was interested in me
297
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:04,905
who was a med student
at Columbia
298
00:12:04,906 --> 00:12:06,373
and on the rowing team.
299
00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:09,844
Today he's an orthopedic
surgeon in the city.
300
00:12:09,845 --> 00:12:12,213
But I chose you.
301
00:12:13,465 --> 00:12:15,149
That's gotta sting.
302
00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:21,355
The point is, Doug,
I really liked you,
303
00:12:21,356 --> 00:12:24,191
but that line
put it over the top.
304
00:12:24,192 --> 00:12:25,826
I mean, when you
could reach down
305
00:12:25,827 --> 00:12:28,795
a- and come up with something
so heartfelt and beautiful.
306
00:12:28,796 --> 00:12:32,132
I mean, that really told me
something about you.
307
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,235
But it turns out
it was just a lie.
308
00:12:34,236 --> 00:12:36,087
I- I stole the line, oh-
But you know what?
309
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,321
Let me tell you something.
310
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:39,090
I've said so many other
beautiful things
311
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,358
that were all me. Really? Like what?
312
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,861
I- Just last week
313
00:12:43,862 --> 00:12:45,896
at Deacon and Kelly's.
314
00:12:45,897 --> 00:12:47,581
Are you talking
about when you said
315
00:12:47,582 --> 00:12:49,983
I would make
a good-looking guy?
316
00:12:50,869 --> 00:12:53,087
Yeah.
317
00:12:53,088 --> 00:12:54,288
You throw on
a denim jacket
318
00:12:54,289 --> 00:12:55,956
and you cut
your hair short,
319
00:12:55,957 --> 00:12:58,225
you got a nice
Ralph Macchio thing going.
320
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,395
And you think
that's beautiful.
321
00:13:01,396 --> 00:13:03,697
It's pretty solid.
322
00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:05,916
Look, Carrie, we've been
married for 10 years,
323
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,235
and it's working.
324
00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:09,036
You know, so I stole
a line from a movie.
325
00:13:09,037 --> 00:13:10,605
Who cares?
326
00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:12,373
Who cares?
That's the way you feel?
327
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:13,407
I- I mean that
in a good way.
328
00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:14,775
I mean, look,
when we first met,
329
00:13:14,776 --> 00:13:16,277
we had to be at our best.
330
00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:20,281
But now it's like I'm fat,
you're mean, who cares?
331
00:13:25,570 --> 00:13:27,238
I care.
332
00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,439
Oh, okay, I understand
what this is about now.
333
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,208
All right, all right,
I'm getting it now.
334
00:13:31,209 --> 00:13:32,977
You're just-
You're gonna bust my chops
335
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,545
till I come up
with another line.
336
00:13:34,546 --> 00:13:36,280
No, Doug, I don't want
another line, okay?
337
00:13:36,281 --> 00:13:38,432
Oh, well, too bad,
'cause you're getting one.
338
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:41,586
Well, you better get moving.
Blockbuster closes at 10.
339
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,971
I don't need Blockbuster.
This is gonna be all me.
340
00:13:43,972 --> 00:13:45,806
It's gonna be so touching
and heartfelt,
341
00:13:45,807 --> 00:13:47,475
you're gonna feel like
a piece of crap.
342
00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:50,711
A piece of crap!
343
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,606
Hey, guy.
344
00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:03,941
Hm.
345
00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:09,479
Uh, well,
this is awkward,
346
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,898
'cause I didn't
get you anything.
347
00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:14,051
Funny.
It's for Holly.
348
00:14:14,052 --> 00:14:16,170
You got her
a Valentine's Day gift?
349
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:17,838
Does she even know?
350
00:14:17,839 --> 00:14:18,606
I have a call in to her.
351
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,557
But she hasn't
called you back.
352
00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:23,627
All part of the dance.
353
00:14:23,628 --> 00:14:26,363
Is this
a two-person dance or...
354
00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:28,733
Okay, look, y-y-you wanna see me
talk to her?
355
00:14:28,734 --> 00:14:30,101
'Cause I'll call her
right now.
356
00:14:36,091 --> 00:14:39,960
Ah, phone machine.
She's probably screening.
357
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:42,045
Oh, hey, Hol, it's, uh-
It's me. Are you there?
358
00:14:42,046 --> 00:14:43,581
Pick up.
359
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,249
If you're there,
pick up, Holly.
360
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,583
It's me.
361
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:48,652
Pick up. Pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up-
362
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:53,640
Uh, I got about 70 dead
cockroaches under the bed,
363
00:14:53,641 --> 00:14:55,576
and I think you might have
some rat droppings
364
00:14:55,577 --> 00:14:57,044
behind
the radiator.
365
00:14:57,045 --> 00:14:58,929
Hey.
366
00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,931
Are your eyes blue?
367
00:15:02,951 --> 00:15:05,219
If you want 'em to be.
368
00:15:08,072 --> 00:15:09,073
So...
369
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,175
uh, tag, you're it.
370
00:15:14,479 --> 00:15:17,732
She's probably out getting
my Valentine's Day gift.
371
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:21,384
Yeah. That's probably
what she's doing right now.
372
00:15:21,385 --> 00:15:22,953
God.
373
00:15:22,954 --> 00:15:24,972
Oh. Okay.
374
00:15:26,207 --> 00:15:28,743
I think I know
what's going on here.
375
00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:30,994
You're down about
my relationship with Holly
376
00:15:30,995 --> 00:15:32,847
because you don't
have anyone right now.
377
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:33,864
Danny, I-
Oh.
378
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:35,333
And here I am,
walking around,
379
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:38,569
bragging and showing off
the fantastic bear I got her.
380
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,471
Okay, you're completely
delusional.
381
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:44,775
Oh. You are in so much pain,
buddy, aren't you?
382
00:15:44,776 --> 00:15:47,378
Don't worry.
It'll happen for you.
383
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:48,512
One of these days,
384
00:15:48,513 --> 00:15:51,081
you'll have
exactly what I have.
385
00:16:00,608 --> 00:16:02,008
Okay, how about this?
386
00:16:02,009 --> 00:16:03,510
"Carrie...
387
00:16:03,511 --> 00:16:06,130
"my love
for you...
388
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:07,531
"is...
389
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:08,832
good. "
390
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,853
All right,
come on, concentrate.
391
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:14,655
If my love...
392
00:16:14,656 --> 00:16:17,725
for you
was a season...
393
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,893
it would be fall...
394
00:16:19,894 --> 00:16:22,329
'cause I fell f-for you.
395
00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:27,567
I- it would be autumn,
'cause my love is...
396
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:29,003
automatic.
397
00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:33,557
Oh, my God, you sound
like a gay serial killer, man.
398
00:16:33,558 --> 00:16:34,758
Let me help you out.
399
00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:36,626
I'm a wordsmith.
400
00:16:36,627 --> 00:16:38,979
No help, okay? That's how
I got in trouble the first time.
401
00:16:40,148 --> 00:16:42,483
My God,
I got nothing here.
402
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,552
Look at this, I-I got rhymes.
That's all I got.
403
00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:46,587
"Love, dove.
404
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:48,722
"Hitler, Bette Midler. "
405
00:16:48,723 --> 00:16:50,624
What the hell
am I doing?
406
00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:52,593
Hey, Doug, do you get
any reception in here?
407
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,995
Oh, man, your phone's fine.
Holly's not gonna call.
408
00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:56,129
Yes, she is.
409
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:58,381
I'm your valentine.
410
00:16:58,382 --> 00:17:01,518
Just give me the bear,
and let's end the charade.
411
00:17:01,519 --> 00:17:03,871
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
How about this?
412
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:05,939
"You're not just who I love,
413
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,975
you're who I am. "
414
00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:11,095
That's actually
pretty good.
415
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,531
And you came up with that
all by yourself?
416
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,932
Yeah, I did.
I mean,
417
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,784
"You're not just who I love,
you're who I am. "
418
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,002
That- That's it.
That's my line.
419
00:17:19,003 --> 00:17:20,738
It's Holly.
Anyone home?
420
00:17:22,173 --> 00:17:23,307
Well, well, well.
421
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,075
Look who finally
tracked me down.
422
00:17:25,076 --> 00:17:27,377
Guess you can kiss
the bear goodbye.
423
00:17:28,546 --> 00:17:29,997
Hey, Hol.
Oh, hey, Carrie.
424
00:17:29,998 --> 00:17:32,349
I just stopped by to drop off
a Valentine's Day card
425
00:17:32,350 --> 00:17:34,802
and my bill for your dad.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
426
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,069
Hey, we better
get moving.
427
00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:37,838
I wanna wash this pesticide
out of my hair
428
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:38,939
before we hit Bennigan's.
429
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:43,560
Oh, hey, Carrie. This is Rick.
He's my exterminator.
430
00:17:43,561 --> 00:17:44,828
How nice.
431
00:17:44,829 --> 00:17:46,764
So you happy
with your current bug guy?
432
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:49,066
He's fantastic.
433
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,334
I'll keep him in mind.
Thank you.
434
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:51,735
Hey, Hol.
Hey, Danny.
435
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:54,004
Aw. Cute bear.
Bye.
436
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:55,055
Bye.
437
00:17:55,056 --> 00:17:56,390
Ho- Holly!
438
00:17:56,391 --> 00:17:58,025
Carrie, I got something
to tell you.
439
00:17:58,026 --> 00:18:00,211
You're not just who I love,
you're who I am.
440
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:01,745
Holly!
441
00:18:01,746 --> 00:18:04,515
Hey! You stole
my line!
442
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:06,633
Danny just stole my line! What?
443
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,569
You're not just who I love,
you're who I am.
444
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:09,970
That's my line.
445
00:18:09,971 --> 00:18:12,056
Doug, I told you,
I don't want another line.
446
00:18:12,057 --> 00:18:14,224
You're just saying that
'cause Danny just said it.
447
00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:16,794
'Cause if I would've said it,
it would have looked like this:
448
00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:19,663
I'm telling- You'd be
cooking me eggs in lingerie.
449
00:18:19,664 --> 00:18:22,015
Okay.
Whatever you say.
450
00:18:22,016 --> 00:18:23,801
Okay, you know what?
That- That's it.
451
00:18:23,802 --> 00:18:25,603
Forget it. I-I-I've
had it. I can't-
452
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,037
I can't do this.
453
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:32,075
There's like
50 pages here.
454
00:18:32,076 --> 00:18:33,443
Yeah, I know.
455
00:18:33,444 --> 00:18:35,912
Is that the Arby's logo?
456
00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:38,331
Part of my process.
457
00:18:38,332 --> 00:18:40,650
"Hitler, Bette Midler"?
458
00:18:40,651 --> 00:18:42,319
I don't know what
I was doing there, okay.
459
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,621
All I know is I got all these
feelings inside in a safe,
460
00:18:44,622 --> 00:18:46,089
and I'm trying to get
the combo out
461
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:47,291
before the thing goes off.
462
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,193
And I'm, like,
duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-
463
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,027
Get it out!
'Cause the love wants to flow.
464
00:18:51,028 --> 00:18:52,029
Doug.
The love-
465
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,046
Doug.
466
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,848
Honey.
- paper.
467
00:18:54,849 --> 00:18:56,634
I think I got
what I needed.
468
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,987
But, uh, I didn't come up
with a great line. I didn't-
469
00:18:59,988 --> 00:19:01,688
Because I didn't want
another line.
470
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:03,824
I just wanted you to do
something from your heart,
471
00:19:03,825 --> 00:19:05,259
and you did.
472
00:19:05,260 --> 00:19:07,828
I mean, the fact that you were
willing to work this hard-
473
00:19:07,829 --> 00:19:11,231
I mean... this means
something to me.
474
00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:12,349
Yeah, but I just-
475
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,284
I just wanted to come up
with a great line.
476
00:19:14,285 --> 00:19:17,287
Honey. And I bet you there is
gonna be something in here
477
00:19:17,288 --> 00:19:19,756
that knocks me
right off my feet.
478
00:19:19,757 --> 00:19:21,124
Really?
Yeah.
479
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:33,303
You know, uh, that there...
Yeah, no. No.
480
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:38,775
Yeah.
481
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,079
Mm.
482
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,013
No?
No.
483
00:19:44,115 --> 00:19:45,115
See, now I thought-
484
00:19:45,116 --> 00:19:46,116
Yeah.
Don't love it.
485
00:19:46,117 --> 00:19:47,317
I don't love it.
486
00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:55,459
Anything?
You know what?
487
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:57,044
I'm just gonna go
with the Arby's logo.
488
00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,572
All right!
489
00:20:30,644 --> 00:20:33,814
Here. Don't tell
anybody about this.
490
00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:35,182
Happy Valentine's Day.
491
00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:36,683
Shut up.
34287
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