All language subtitles for Family Ties S06E11 Citizen Keaton.DVDRip.NonHI.en.CBS.EN

♪♪

♪ I bet we've been
together for a million years ♪

♪ And I bet we'll be
together for a million more ♪

♪ Oh, it's like I
started breathing ♪

♪ On the night we kissed ♪

♪ And I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ And there ain't no nothing we
can't love each other through ♪

♪ What would we do,
baby, without us? ♪

♪ Sha-la-la-la. ♪

Okay, now, here's what we do.

Everyone take his
own fortune cookie.

And then we'll break our cookies

and we'll read
our fortunes aloud.

Now, Andy, be very careful
how you open that cookie.

There's an old Oriental
proverb that says,

"If you tear your fortune,
you'll have bad luck."

Here, now, watch. Watch this.

This is...

That's real good, Dad.

What's it say?

"Stop telling people...

how to open fortune cookies."

Well, I got my usual one.

"Fame, fortune and riches
are yours for the asking...

Alex."

Here goes mine.

"Alex, no more personalized
fortunes until you pay up.

Signed Mr. Wong."

Uh, what does... what
does yours say, Andy?

I ate mine.

Oh, come on, Andy.

We'll go find you
another fortune.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Well, hi!

Hello, everybody.

Well, I hope you haven't
come for dinner, Skip.

- We're finished.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Tonight's meat loaf
surprise night at my house.

Old Handelman tradition.

Just a regular meat loaf

with many different
foreign coins hidden in it.

Sounds delicious.

Skippy, can I please
tell them my news now?

Of course. I was just
getting them warmed up.

Okay. I...

Everybody, I did something today

that I never thought
I'd do before.

You wore plaids with checks?

No. Something at school.

- You wrote in pen.
- Oh!

No.

I have decided to run
for school president.

- Great idea!
- Oh, that's terrific!

- Good, honey.
- Thank you.

Wow! Tell me, Mal,
how do they decide

who's going to run
for president of Grant?

I mean, I mean, what do
you... what do you need

to qualify for that, a "D"
average and a pulse?

They're not really strict
about the "D" average.

Honey, this is wonderful,

but I got to admit
I'm a little surprised.

You've never shown any
interest in politics before.

Yeah, I know... I don't know.

It just came to
me out of nowhere.

I was sitting with a
bunch of my friends,

and they said,
"Why don't you run?"

And I said, "Are you kidding?"

And then I thought,
"Huh, I don't know.

It could be fun.
Sounds like a neat job."

So I said, "What
the heck," you know?

That's pretty much the
way Reagan decided to run.

Let me tell you one thing, Mal:

Don't take any, uh, political
wisdom from Mom and Dad.

What is that supposed to mean?

Let's face it...
Politically speaking,

you two are the kiss of death.

I mean, just look at the
candidates you supported.

Uh, McGovern, Humphrey...

uh, Mr. Excitement
himself, Walter Mondale.

Those names sound so familiar.

Do they go to Grant?

Look, Alex, we
don't get involved

in the campaigns just to win.

We do it because we feel deeply

about certain political
or... or moral issues.

It would be nice
to win occasionally.

Well, then, you should
work on Mallory's campaign,

'cause she's going to win.

Everybody at school loves her.

She's... really popular.

Skippy's my campaign manager.

Well... well, uh, no, you're...
you're well on your way.

I just thought Skippy could,
uh, help me keep in touch

with all the people at
Grant that nobody talks to.

I'm close with them.

Wait, wait.

Listen... listen to my fortune.

"Good fortune will
soon smile on you."

It's good luck for the campaign.

What does yours say, Skippy?

"You have 15 minutes to live."

How does this sound
for a campaign slogan?

- "Vote for Mallory."
- Um...

We need something
more direct, livelier.

How about just, "Vote"?

That's-that's good, Skippy,
but it doesn't say for who.

Well, you could
stand next to the sign.

But I can't be
everywhere at once.

Okay. Maybe that's it.

"Vote for Mallory.

She can't be
everywhere at once."

- Hi.
- Hi.

Mallory, congratulations.

I heard you're running
for president of Grant.

- That's great.
- Thanks.

- Too bad I can't vote for you.
- Aw.

What do you mean?

Skippy, only students at Grant

can vote in this election.

Oh, great.

Well, there goes
my grandma's vote.

What's this, Mal, material
for your campaign?

Yes, Alex. Don't look at it.

- You'll just make fun of it.
- No!

No, not at all.

No, I'm glad you're
getting involved.

I'm interested.

What, uh... what's
your campaign platform?

What's my platform, Skippy?

We're trying to run
a campaign here.

We don't have time
to build a platform.

I'll get it.

- Hi, Amy.
- Hi, Alex.

Uh, this is Amy Sussman,
Skippy's girlfriend.

- Amy, this is Lauren.
- Hi.

- Hi. How you doing?
- Sorry I'm late, guys.

Amy is my campaign treasurer.

- Hey, gang!
- Well, well, it looks like

we walked in on this big,
executive campaign meeting.

Yeah. Oh, you know, Mal,
uh, maybe I can help you.

Uh, I don't want to brag, but
I-I was president in college.

Really, Dad?

You were president
of your school?

Well, not exactly
the entire school.

I was, uh, president
of the South Campus

Aluminum Can Recycling Club.

And a damn fine one, too.

Well, uh...

Excuse me, but if... but
if Mallory's going to win,

she's going to need
something more

than a "give a hoot,
don't pollute" platform.

Oh, I like that. Can
we use it, Mr. Keaton?

- Be my guest, Skip.
- Well, good-bye.

We're going to go
pick Andy up at school.

Would you mind dropping
me off at campus?

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, no, not at all, Lauren.

It'll give me time to, uh,
tell you a little bit about

the work I did as president
of the recycling club.

Steven, I've heard that
story a million times.

Sit in the back, Elyse.

You know, I had a little slogan,
and I had a little magnet...

I think the first thing
we need is a, uh...

a good campaign strategy.

Any ideas?

I have a few ideas.

But first, I have a question.

What exactly is a
campaign strategy?

Well, a campaign
strategy is a...

Alex...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's your campaign.

You guys run with it.

Go ahead, Mal.

Uh... a campaign strategy, huh?

What's something that
you really believe in?

Like, uh, more study hours,
hard work, good grades.

No, not those.

Well, what, then?

Well, I guess I feel
that the students

should have more of a say
in what goes on at Grant.

Like, remember last
year, out of the blue,

all of a sudden, they took
out the diet soda machine?

And-and I said, "This is wrong."

A lot of people... a
lot of people agreed.

There you go, Mal.

There you go. That's
good. That's good.

That's something the
students can get behind.

Diet soda?

Well, it's not just
diet soda, Mal.

It's-it's a vision
that you stand for,

uh, to make life easier
and more pleasurable for...

weight-conscious students.

"Vote for Mal, go low-cal."

Look, Alex, I don't know if

I can get the soda
machine put back in.

And I don't want to make
promises I can't keep.

Well, you have
no place in politics.

Well, I'll tell you...
I'd vote for someone

who could get that
soda machine back.

There you go, Mal.

There you go.

I can feel the
groundswell starting.

I'll tell you something else.

I miss the low-fat
chocolate milk

with the twisty straws.

Who doesn't? Who doesn't?

I can feel it, Mal.

You're going to win this thing.

I do have another
idea about changing

the color of the drapes
in the student center.

I like it. It's hip.

It's fresh. It's contemporary.

It's what the people want.

I'm telling you, Mal, there's
only one ingredient missing here

for a winning campaign.

Let's see, we've got diet soda,
chocolate milk and drapes.

What's she missing?

Oh, Alex, I don't know.

- I'm nervous about this.
- Oh, come on, Mal.

You've got nothing
to worry about.

It's the first day on
the campaign trail.

Let's go out there
and let's get 'em, huh?

Remember our platform?

"Confidence, diet
soda and new drapes."

All right, let's go.

Hi there. Hello.

Hi. Uh, I'd like you to
meet Mallory Keaton,

uh, candidate for student
government president.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How-how... how's your sandwich?

Not bad.

Oh.

It looks a little dry.

I bet you could use a
diet soda to go with that.

I hate diet soda.

What do I do?

- Try the drapes, try the drapes.
- Oh.

Don't you think we could
use some new drapes in here?

I mean, these are so ugly.

My mother made those drapes.

Alex, why does it have
to be so complicated?

Why can't I just put up posters,

pass out buttons
and take my chances?

Because you want to win, okay?

And you're going to
win. Trust me. Trust me.

I've got every
detail worked out.

Look, honey. It's
Mallory Keaton,

our choice for student
government president.

She looks just like she
does on these buttons.

And these posters.

Mallory, is it true that
you're planning on getting

a new soda machine
for the snack bar?

And low-fat chocolate
milk with twisty straws?

Well, I was thinking about it.

Alex, what's going on?

Mallory, it's me, Skippy.

Hey!

Where is a guy supposed to
get a diet soda around this place?

And a room with
some decent drapes?

Well... you raise a
fine point, young man.

You know... you
know, Grant College

is in desperate need
of new, fresh leadership.

Hey, you are damn
right, you know,

and I don't even
go to school here.

Alex, what's going on?

Hey, Mal, it's me, Nick.

Excuse me, did you say
something about a soda machine?

Yes, she did. Yes, she did.

Uh, have you seen
Mallory's position paper?

Alex, I haven't seen
my position paper.

Look at this: "If elected,

Mallory Keaton promises to
put an end to pop quizzes."

- What?
- If you like that...

if you like that,
try number three.

"Frequent flyer bonus miles
for commuting students."

We can't do that.

Oh, come on, look
at these people.

They're delirious. They'll
do anything for you.

Just go with it. Go with it.

"Free trips to Hawaii
for all students

with passing grades in
two or more subjects!"

- Alex!
- Yeah!

Don't worry about it!
The plane will be empty.

Mallory! Mallory! Mallory!

Mallory! Mallory! Mallory...

Hey! What have
you got there, Andy?

A poster for Mallory's campaign.

Alex asked me to
hang it up in the kitchen.

Uh-huh, well, what is it, uh...

Well it's good to
see the campaign

has brought out
Alex's sense of fairness.

Yeah. Mallory wasn't
even on the first poster.

- Hi, guys.
- Hi, honey.

- Oh, did you, uh...?
- I'm so t... Oh, great!

He finally put my picture on it.

Mm-hmm.

Where have you been, honey?

Oh, all over.

Alex has the Keaton
campaign trail fully booked.

I was over on
campus this morning

passing out campaign buttons
to people in the infirmary.

Alex said I should get
them in a weakened state.

And then I was
over at the snack bar

passing out little
mustard packets with

"Let Mallory spice up
your life" printed on 'em.

Oh, here are some
extras. Here you go.

- Oh, boy.
- Thanks.

Yeah. And then, uh, we
finished it off with a lengthy stint

on the Keaton campaign truck.

- The Keaton campaign truck?
- Mm-hmm.

Mallory Keaton for

Grant College
student presidency.

Mallory's campaign
manager, Alex P. Keaton!

I want to see it!

I want to talk through
the microphone!

Come on, Andy.
We'll go take a look.

Are you enjoying the campaign?

It's tiring, but it's fun.

I mean, I've been
speaking in public.

I've met everyone on campus.

And I've... I've had a
chance to really listen

to people and find out
what they're thinking.

What are they thinking?

Well, some are thinking
about their future,

and some are concerned
about academics,

and some are just sort
of staring straight ahead.

- Well, that sounds great.
- Yeah.

It's a good experience for you.

Well, I-I think it's nice.

You know, it's a
chance for you and Alex

- to get to work together again.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, you... you haven't
worked together since...

well... well, since
you did that, uh...

When did they work
together, Steven?

Alex and Mal?

Oh, well, uh, let's see.

There was, um... let's see.

There was, uh...

So this is the first time
you've worked together, huh?

Yeah. It's been great. We're
getting along really well.

We haven't been fighting at all.

Well, I think it's wonderful.

I mean, particularly
knowing Alex,

you'd think that
he'd be, you know...

M-A-double L-O-R-Y.

That spells "Mallory."

going overboard.

Well, Mal, we've got
that new campaign poster.

I think it's going to add a new
dimension to the campaign.

Mallory Keaton for Grant College

student presidency.

If you don't vote for my sister,

I won't vote for your sister.

Hi, Mom and Dad.

Come out and see. I'm driving!

Keaton campaign headquarters.

Uh, just a second.

Uh, Alex, command post
number seven checking in.

Yeah, hi, command
post number seven.

Did you get those posters
up at Delaware Hall yet?

Well... listen, Jennifer.

I don't... I don't
care if you're tired.

Okay, give me command
post number six, will you?

Yeah, Andy... yeah, light a fire

under your sister, will you?

- Thanks.
- Uh-uh.

Command post number
six, it's almost time for bed.

Alex, Alex, shouldn't
I be doing something?

- I mean, I am the candidate.
- Absolutely.

Why don't you go over
your acceptance speech?

Oh. "This is truly
a glorious day

for freedom-loving
people everywhere."

Alex, I only promised them a
soda machine, not a revolution.

Could we tone it down?

Yeah, absolutely. Uh, Mom, um...

"This is truly a glorious day

for carbonated beverage-loving
people everywhere."

Alex, if I'm elected president,

I'm going to have to start
making some of my own decisions.

Uh, what... what
do you mean, Mal?

I'm saying things that would not
normally come out of my mouth.

That's because they're
coming out of my mouth.

Alex, I don't know if I
just want to be a puppet.

Oh! Oh, suddenly puppet's
not good enough for you.

It just doesn't feel like me.

Look, Mal, we've
come this far together.

Once you're president, you
can do whatever you want.

But for now, please,
trust me, okay?

- Alex.
- Hi.

- Hey, where were you guys?
- We went to vote.

Yeah, well, what took so long?

I got stuck in the voting booth.

I couldn't get those
little curtains to open up.

I tried to help him out, and
I got stuck in there myself.

- Hey.
- Hi. How are you?

- Hey. Hey.
- Oh, hi, Nick.

Hey! I, uh, got you
these for good luck.

Oh, thank you. That's sweet.

It was no big deal, you know.

Besides, if you get
elected president,

then I'll be the first
lady of Grant College.

I'm sure they'll use
that in all the brochures.

Hey, uh, nothing for
the campaign manager?

Just this.

No flowers? Nothing?

If you win.

Alex, quick, turn on the radio!

They're announcing
the election results!

Oh!

- Come on, Andy.
- Hey!

- Nervous, Mal?
- Oh, a little bit,

but I'm excited, too.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

This is WGRW, the
voice of Grant College.

Grant College... conveniently
located near all major highways.

Just get to the results.

We don't have the
final totals just yet

in today's student government
presidential election.

Ah, what... what, are you
having trouble counting the votes?

We're having a little
trouble counting the votes.

It's not that the
votes aren't in;

it's just that we're having
trouble counting them.

Well, we finally
got this sorted out!

The new president of Grant
College is Marsha Elkins.

What?!

Marsha Elkins.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

Mal, you were great,
really. You tried...

Speech! Speech!

Oh. Well, thanks,
everybody, for your support.

You know, you really worked
hard, and it means a lot.

Thanks to everyone
who voted for me,

and thanks to my family
and... and my brother

and campaign
manager, Alex P. Keaton.

Yeah.

He taught me to strive
hard and do my best,

and who, I'm sure, would want
me to be gracious in defeat.

Marsha Elkins...

that idiot!

I demand a recount.
I demand a recount.

I'm sorry you didn't win, Mal.

Oh, thanks. I'm fine, though.

It's really no big deal.

Oh, that's easy for you to say.

Your mother and I thought

we were finally going
to win an election.

Alex says, "If you want to win,
you have to vote Republican."

Go back to sleep.

Alex, where were you?

Oh, I was over at
the math department

trying to get the
final tally on the vote.

Took a while because they
were counting on their fingers.

Anyway, uh, they were right.

You lost by 103 votes.

We're proud of you, honey.

Takes a lot of
courage just to run.

And I know how
hard you tried, Mal.

I, uh... I've never
mentioned this before,

but the first time
I ran for president

of the South Campus
Aluminum Can Recycling Club...

I lost.

It was to Warren McCracken.

Uh, the-the interesting
thing about Warren,

he... he had a
nose for aluminum.

He... he could spot
an aluminum can at...

Give it up, Dad.

You know, Mal, this election
is not over by a long shot.

First thing in the morning,
I'm going back to that campus

and I'm going to
demand another recount.

Another recount? Why?

Because, Mal, there were

numerous voting
irregularities there.

I know. I committed them.

Look, Alex, it's over.

I mean, I-I-I ran, I tried hard,

and-and I lost, and that's it.

Why did you do it?

I mean, why did you suddenly
get so involved with my life?

I don't know, Mal. I don't know.

I guess, um... I guess I-I...

I just finally saw something
we could do together.

I mean, something
we had in common.

I just... I just wanted to
jump at the chance to do it.

Pretty soon, we're
not going to be living

under the same roof
together anymore.

Are you trying to tell me
that you're moving out?

Don't get too excited, Mal.

I'm trying to be sensitive here.

Oh, sorry.

Anyway, the fact is,
um, pretty soon, we...

we may not be seeing
each other that much.

I mean, uh, I'm going to
graduate, marry Lauren,

get a job on Wall Street,
move to New York.

Well, I'm going to
graduate, marry Nick

and get a job in
the fashion industry

and move to New York.

You aren't going to
live uptown, are you?

Downtown.

- Well, there you go.
- Yeah, right.

We won't be seeing...

Anyway, I just wanted

to make the most of the
last times we have together.

Well, you know,
it's funny, Alex.

Any... any time we try
to do something together,

it turns out to be a disaster.

No. No, that's not true.

That's not true.

We've had some very
good times together.

You remember when we were kids?

Saturday mornings, okay?

Mom and Dad would sleep late.

And we'd come down at 6:30
in the morning in our pajamas.

Right, exactly.

Uh, I was five, and
you were about seven.

Um, I'd start breakfast, and
you'd go down in the driveway

and get the Wall Street Journal.

Mom and Dad would always
leave out that box of granola,

'cause they didn't want
us to eat sugared cereals.

Right.

We used to go over to
Skippy's and get Fruit Loops.

You'd think they'd notice

we had the same box
of granola for 12 years.

Oh, you know when
else we had fun?

Uh, remember when Mom
and Dad finally decided

we could stay home
without a babysitter?

And we'd make
popcorn and watch TV?

And we were supposed to
be in bed, asleep by 11:00,

and we were too scared
to turn out the lights?

No, I... I wasn't scared.

Alex, you used to cry until
Mom and Dad came home.

I missed them.

So we'd... we'd go up to
my room and talk, and...

and I'd tell you which
boys I liked in school,

and you'd tell me which ones
had the best earning potential.

And look who you wound up with.

Yeah.

We don't talk like that anymore.

It's too bad.

Well, it's an interesting
thing, you know.

I mean... I mean, I can
argue politics with Dad

or, uh, discuss
family stuff with Mom.

Or discuss economics
with Jennifer.

But you... you understand
my emotional side

better than anybody.

Really? I didn't think
you even had one.

Come on.

Remember the night
after Ellen left for Paris?

You stayed up all
night, you know,

talking to me and
listening to me.

You understood.

Well, I'll never
forget those nights

you stayed up trying to
teach me long division.

You got a concussion

from banging your
head against the wall.

I still don't understand it.

You know, I'm going to
look back on life in this house,

and I'm going to
remember those mornings.

And I'm going to remember
the nights babysitting.

And I'm going to
remember tonight.

Me, too.

Sorry about the election,
huh? We'll get 'em next year.

Oh, not a chance.

- I got an idea.
- What?

I have an idea.

Tomorrow morning, we'll
wake up just like we used to.

We come down in our
pajamas, and we make breakfast.

Granola is still here.

Sit, Ubu, sit. Good dog.