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1
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So...
2
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Take your time.
3
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- I'm actually a decisive person.
- I'm sure.
4
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I just don't see
the word "coffee".
5
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,940
- We sell coffee.
- Then that's what I want.
6
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Okay, so we have
three different roasts...
7
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:04,060
I don't want three different roasts,
I just want coffee.
8
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,500
What would you give me
if I just ask for coffee?
9
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:09,339
I wouldn't. I would describe
the three different roasts.
10
00:01:09,419 --> 00:01:12,459
And what if I just shouted "coffee"
over your descriptions?
11
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,339
You can try that if you want.
12
00:01:15,539 --> 00:01:18,860
Look, I've run my own business
for a long time.
13
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,979
One thing I've learned,
don't overcomplicate things.
14
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Lead with the headline.
15
00:01:23,259 --> 00:01:25,940
You sell cars, say you sell cars.
16
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,259
You sell guns,
say you sell guns.
17
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,619
It doesn't even say coffee
in your sign.
18
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,940
What the hell is "Mouthfeel"?
Sounds like a sex club.
19
00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:37,020
It's the way the coffee
feels in your mouth.
20
00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,500
It's a word connoisseurs use.
21
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- You mean the taste?
- No.
22
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,419
It's distinct from the taste.
23
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,100
See, it's all way too complicated,
24
00:01:45,179 --> 00:01:47,660
even before somebody
walks through the door.
25
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,539
So you think in a gun store,
26
00:01:49,619 --> 00:01:52,020
a person walks in
and asks for a gun,
27
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,539
and that's the end
of the conversation.
28
00:01:53,619 --> 00:01:57,539
They give him a generic gun
with the word "gun" on the box.
29
00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,979
- Guns are a bad example.
- Cars.
30
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:05,500
Just give me coffee number one.
31
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:07,259
I'm not interested
in the mouthfeel.
32
00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,380
- You take milk?
- Sure.
33
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:12,460
Regular from a cow
pumped full of steroids.
34
00:02:12,539 --> 00:02:13,620
Nothing missing.
35
00:02:15,979 --> 00:02:17,299
Jay.
36
00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:19,660
- Is that an initial?
- Not really.
37
00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,060
- "Not really"?
- Just Jay.
38
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,220
What was your birth name?
39
00:02:24,299 --> 00:02:26,060
How strong is your pee flow currently?
40
00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:32,620
- Not an equivalent question!
- I think it is.
41
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:37,060
So what are you
doing around here, anyway?
42
00:02:37,139 --> 00:02:38,739
What? I'm not cool enough?
43
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,259
Honestly?
44
00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:44,299
I have an appointment.
45
00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,419
Steve and Cindy upstairs?
46
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,180
They're great.
47
00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:50,819
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey, how are you?
48
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,340
So you met my husband, Scott.
49
00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:54,780
Yeah.
50
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,019
I wouldn't put you two together.
51
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,539
- Yeah, well...
- Yeah.
52
00:02:58,620 --> 00:02:59,979
Steve and Cindy.
53
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,859
- Exactly.
- You want to come up with us?
54
00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,259
That will still only be five of us
in the room.
55
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:07,660
I'll bring your tea over.
56
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:13,979
So many questions.
57
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,419
- Yeah?
- How do you know these people?
58
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,340
You mean one person,
59
00:03:19,419 --> 00:03:22,819
who in your mind is this entire
imaginary community of friends?
60
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,259
Yes.
61
00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:26,940
My yoga class
is across the street.
62
00:03:27,979 --> 00:03:29,620
I just told you
something you didn't know.
63
00:03:29,699 --> 00:03:32,699
I was hoping you knew
I went to yoga classes.
64
00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,500
I knew you
did something stretchy.
65
00:03:35,579 --> 00:03:38,500
Okay, second question.
Let's say you need an...
66
00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:40,019
What are they called, he/she?
67
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,579
- Pronouns.
- Exactly.
68
00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,259
Say you needed a pronoun.
Which one would you use?
69
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,859
Well, I'd have
to know the context.
70
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:49,380
In the course
of an average day, I use both.
71
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,900
Funny. I'm talking about Jay.
72
00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:54,460
You want to know
if Jay is male or female?
73
00:03:55,299 --> 00:03:57,660
- Yeah, I guess.
- Hi!
74
00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:01,579
Here is your tea.
And here is your steroids.
75
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,340
- Yeah, that's good.
- Okay.
76
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:05,979
Enjoy.
77
00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:11,299
- Why do you want to know?
- Seriously?
78
00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:12,419
Yes.
79
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,259
Because it's relevant information.
80
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,780
Well, maybe if you're thinking
of hooking up,
81
00:04:16,859 --> 00:04:18,220
not if you're buying coffee.
82
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,419
What if I wanted to say "blank"
has put too much milk in this?
83
00:04:21,499 --> 00:04:23,020
Jay.
84
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,900
Jay has put
too much milk on this.
85
00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:27,619
I'm going to ask "blank"
for another cup.
86
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,979
Jay prefers "they".
87
00:04:31,419 --> 00:04:33,299
- "They"?
- Yes.
88
00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:36,780
- I'm gonna ask they for another cup?
- "Them", obviously.
89
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:40,379
- They is making me another cup.
- "They are," always.
90
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,460
You're giving a running commentary
on this entire transaction.
91
00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:45,660
I'm just trying to understand
what's going on here.
92
00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:47,580
I think you've got it.
93
00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:52,020
- So, language has no meaning.
- Of course it has meaning.
94
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,700
- "They" is plural.
- Not the way you just used it.
95
00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:57,859
- When?
- "They is plural".
96
00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:01,100
You can't use "they" unless
Jay is several people.
97
00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:03,619
Well, Jay isn't several people
and we still say "they".
98
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:06,539
- What are you going to do about it?
- What about the laws of grammar?
99
00:05:06,619 --> 00:05:07,660
They change all the time.
100
00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:13,100
See, this is why I'm not comfortable
with your choice of counselors.
101
00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:17,100
Because grammar laws changed?
Because Jay works
102
00:05:17,179 --> 00:05:20,700
in a coffee shop underneath,
but unconnected to their office?
103
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:23,739
There's a whole way
of thinking here that I...
104
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:29,499
You know, I'm retired.
I think Bernie Sanders is a lunatic.
105
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,499
I don't see anything
wrong with milk.
106
00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,379
Why can't we go
where we went before?
107
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,260
That was 20 years ago
and Jeannie retired.
108
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:42,100
But that was up in Laurel Hill.
I know what goes on there.
109
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,020
What goes on there?
110
00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,260
Golf, tennis.
None of this stuff.
111
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,419
I don't know if there's a correlation
112
00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:52,140
between good sports facilities
and good counseling.
113
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,739
Maybe. Maybe not.
114
00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:58,900
- Do you know why we're here?
- What are you talking about?
115
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,780
- Why are we here?
- For marital counseling.
116
00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:01,859
But why?
117
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,340
I probably did something bad again.
118
00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:07,419
But you have no real idea what?
119
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:11,780
No. But I look forward
to hearing about it.
120
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:14,379
And then I'll stop doing it
and we can move on.
121
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:17,059
Wait, so you're kind of patronizing me?
122
00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:20,179
Like, I have no idea why
she wants to go see a counselor for.
123
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,900
Well, I'll go along with it.
124
00:06:21,979 --> 00:06:24,260
What would have changed
if I'd asked a ton of questions?
125
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:27,660
You'd have seemed like someone
who has a stake in the relationship.
126
00:06:27,739 --> 00:06:30,859
So just turning up isn't enough
to demonstrate that?
127
00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:32,580
You're humoring me.
128
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:33,859
So can I go home again?
129
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:35,780
No.
130
00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:40,660
I just don't think the people here
131
00:06:40,739 --> 00:06:43,499
are going to be any good
for a guy like me.
132
00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:45,580
What's a guy like you?
133
00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:47,179
You know me.
You married me.
134
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:49,539
I want to hear what you'd say.
135
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,700
- Just hard working...
- Well, retired.
136
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,859
A hardworking, family guy.
137
00:06:55,939 --> 00:06:57,900
Our kids are out in the world now.
138
00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:02,499
I'm a guy who loves
his wife and his daughters.
139
00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,739
And his grandchildren.
Although the youngest...
140
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,499
Will you stop with that?
She's two years old.
141
00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,820
She's not likable.
142
00:07:11,619 --> 00:07:14,499
- When we went to see Jeannie...
- That was then.
143
00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:18,780
You asked me about now.
Anyway, I still loved my wife.
144
00:07:18,859 --> 00:07:21,739
I just did a stupid thing.
145
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,820
Well, things, as it turned out.
146
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:27,020
I know, I know. I just thought
147
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,979
that was how things
were supposed to be.
148
00:07:29,059 --> 00:07:31,220
You thought you're supposed
to sleep with other women?
149
00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:33,739
- It was different back then.
- Yeah.
150
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,660
In the '90s, when men were men.
151
00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:38,100
Okay, okay.
152
00:07:38,179 --> 00:07:41,499
We went through
all this torture with Jeannie.
153
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:45,460
And you and her tell me what
a bad guy I am, and we talk and talk.
154
00:07:45,539 --> 00:07:48,580
And here we are, like,
a quarter of a century later
155
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:51,260
and none of that
talking counted for anything.
156
00:07:53,299 --> 00:07:55,820
All that talking could
never wipe the slate clean.
157
00:07:58,460 --> 00:07:59,780
But it got us this far.
158
00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:02,179
How's your coffee?
159
00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,900
Tastes like Almond Joy.
160
00:08:07,499 --> 00:08:08,859
I mean, I like an almond joy...
161
00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:11,460
- I think I want a divorce.
- But I wanted to have coffee.
162
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,140
You first.
163
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,700
- A divorce?
- Yes.
164
00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:22,460
Seriously?
165
00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,859
We're talking to these people
because you want a divorce?
166
00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:31,580
What are we gonna talk about
if you already know?
167
00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:34,659
Well, I don't know. I think.
168
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:39,859
And there's a lot to talk about.
And if it turns out that's what I want,
169
00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:42,659
then I can help you accept it.
And we can move on with our lives.
170
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,659
And be good parents
and grandparents together.
171
00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:47,379
I don't accept it.
172
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,460
I didn't think
you would right away.
173
00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:50,739
I'm not going to accept it.
174
00:08:52,379 --> 00:08:53,420
Why not?
175
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,300
Because I love you.
176
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,340
I love you, too.
177
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:02,739
I don't think that will ever end.
178
00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:05,619
Okay, I'm not clever enough
to understand this.
179
00:09:06,619 --> 00:09:09,940
We're fine. This is crazy stuff.
180
00:09:10,019 --> 00:09:11,700
This is the coffee shop talking.
181
00:09:11,779 --> 00:09:16,300
I'd say the same thing in any golf
club or steakhouse of your choosing.
182
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,700
It's not so hard to understand.
183
00:09:21,499 --> 00:09:23,940
I just don't know
if I want to be married...
184
00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,100
To me or to anyone?
185
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:35,420
I can't imagine being married
to anyone else, either.
186
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,300
We should go.
187
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:52,220
That coffee was absurd.
188
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,899
I knew you wouldn't like it.
You should have let me describe it
14319
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