All language subtitles for State.Of.The.Union.S02e01.The.Laws.Of.Grammar.720p.WEB.x265

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,259 So... 2 00:00:47,779 --> 00:00:48,779 Take your time. 3 00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:53,740 - I'm actually a decisive person. - I'm sure. 4 00:00:53,819 --> 00:00:55,620 I just don't see the word "coffee". 5 00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:58,940 - We sell coffee. - Then that's what I want. 6 00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:01,139 Okay, so we have three different roasts... 7 00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:04,060 I don't want three different roasts, I just want coffee. 8 00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:06,500 What would you give me if I just ask for coffee? 9 00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:09,339 I wouldn't. I would describe the three different roasts. 10 00:01:09,419 --> 00:01:12,459 And what if I just shouted "coffee" over your descriptions? 11 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,339 You can try that if you want. 12 00:01:15,539 --> 00:01:18,860 Look, I've run my own business for a long time. 13 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,979 One thing I've learned, don't overcomplicate things. 14 00:01:22,059 --> 00:01:23,179 Lead with the headline. 15 00:01:23,259 --> 00:01:25,940 You sell cars, say you sell cars. 16 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,259 You sell guns, say you sell guns. 17 00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:30,619 It doesn't even say coffee in your sign. 18 00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,940 What the hell is "Mouthfeel"? Sounds like a sex club. 19 00:01:34,020 --> 00:01:37,020 It's the way the coffee feels in your mouth. 20 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,500 It's a word connoisseurs use. 21 00:01:39,339 --> 00:01:40,940 - You mean the taste? - No. 22 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,419 It's distinct from the taste. 23 00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,100 See, it's all way too complicated, 24 00:01:45,179 --> 00:01:47,660 even before somebody walks through the door. 25 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,539 So you think in a gun store, 26 00:01:49,619 --> 00:01:52,020 a person walks in and asks for a gun, 27 00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,539 and that's the end of the conversation. 28 00:01:53,619 --> 00:01:57,539 They give him a generic gun with the word "gun" on the box. 29 00:01:57,619 --> 00:01:59,979 - Guns are a bad example. - Cars. 30 00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:05,500 Just give me coffee number one. 31 00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:07,259 I'm not interested in the mouthfeel. 32 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,380 - You take milk? - Sure. 33 00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:12,460 Regular from a cow pumped full of steroids. 34 00:02:12,539 --> 00:02:13,620 Nothing missing. 35 00:02:15,979 --> 00:02:17,299 Jay. 36 00:02:17,380 --> 00:02:19,660 - Is that an initial? - Not really. 37 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,060 - "Not really"? - Just Jay. 38 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,220 What was your birth name? 39 00:02:24,299 --> 00:02:26,060 How strong is your pee flow currently? 40 00:02:28,180 --> 00:02:32,620 - Not an equivalent question! - I think it is. 41 00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:37,060 So what are you doing around here, anyway? 42 00:02:37,139 --> 00:02:38,739 What? I'm not cool enough? 43 00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,259 Honestly? 44 00:02:41,859 --> 00:02:44,299 I have an appointment. 45 00:02:44,380 --> 00:02:46,419 Steve and Cindy upstairs? 46 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,180 They're great. 47 00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:50,819 - Hey, sweetie. - Hey, how are you? 48 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,340 So you met my husband, Scott. 49 00:02:53,780 --> 00:02:54,780 Yeah. 50 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,019 I wouldn't put you two together. 51 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,539 - Yeah, well... - Yeah. 52 00:02:58,620 --> 00:02:59,979 Steve and Cindy. 53 00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:01,859 - Exactly. - You want to come up with us? 54 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,259 That will still only be five of us in the room. 55 00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:07,660 I'll bring your tea over. 56 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:13,979 So many questions. 57 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:17,419 - Yeah? - How do you know these people? 58 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,340 You mean one person, 59 00:03:19,419 --> 00:03:22,819 who in your mind is this entire imaginary community of friends? 60 00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:24,259 Yes. 61 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:26,940 My yoga class is across the street. 62 00:03:27,979 --> 00:03:29,620 I just told you something you didn't know. 63 00:03:29,699 --> 00:03:32,699 I was hoping you knew I went to yoga classes. 64 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:35,500 I knew you did something stretchy. 65 00:03:35,579 --> 00:03:38,500 Okay, second question. Let's say you need an... 66 00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:40,019 What are they called, he/she? 67 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,579 - Pronouns. - Exactly. 68 00:03:42,340 --> 00:03:45,259 Say you needed a pronoun. Which one would you use? 69 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:46,859 Well, I'd have to know the context. 70 00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:49,380 In the course of an average day, I use both. 71 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,900 Funny. I'm talking about Jay. 72 00:03:51,979 --> 00:03:54,460 You want to know if Jay is male or female? 73 00:03:55,299 --> 00:03:57,660 - Yeah, I guess. - Hi! 74 00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:01,579 Here is your tea. And here is your steroids. 75 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,340 - Yeah, that's good. - Okay. 76 00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:05,979 Enjoy. 77 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:11,299 - Why do you want to know? - Seriously? 78 00:04:11,380 --> 00:04:12,419 Yes. 79 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,259 Because it's relevant information. 80 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,780 Well, maybe if you're thinking of hooking up, 81 00:04:16,859 --> 00:04:18,220 not if you're buying coffee. 82 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:21,419 What if I wanted to say "blank" has put too much milk in this? 83 00:04:21,499 --> 00:04:23,020 Jay. 84 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,900 Jay has put too much milk on this. 85 00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:27,619 I'm going to ask "blank" for another cup. 86 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,979 Jay prefers "they". 87 00:04:31,419 --> 00:04:33,299 - "They"? - Yes. 88 00:04:33,379 --> 00:04:36,780 - I'm gonna ask they for another cup? - "Them", obviously. 89 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:40,379 - They is making me another cup. - "They are," always. 90 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:43,460 You're giving a running commentary on this entire transaction. 91 00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:45,660 I'm just trying to understand what's going on here. 92 00:04:45,739 --> 00:04:47,580 I think you've got it. 93 00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:52,020 - So, language has no meaning. - Of course it has meaning. 94 00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,700 - "They" is plural. - Not the way you just used it. 95 00:04:55,539 --> 00:04:57,859 - When? - "They is plural". 96 00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:01,100 You can't use "they" unless Jay is several people. 97 00:05:01,179 --> 00:05:03,619 Well, Jay isn't several people and we still say "they". 98 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:06,539 - What are you going to do about it? - What about the laws of grammar? 99 00:05:06,619 --> 00:05:07,660 They change all the time. 100 00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:13,100 See, this is why I'm not comfortable with your choice of counselors. 101 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:17,100 Because grammar laws changed? Because Jay works 102 00:05:17,179 --> 00:05:20,700 in a coffee shop underneath, but unconnected to their office? 103 00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:23,739 There's a whole way of thinking here that I... 104 00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:29,499 You know, I'm retired. I think Bernie Sanders is a lunatic. 105 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,499 I don't see anything wrong with milk. 106 00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,379 Why can't we go where we went before? 107 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,260 That was 20 years ago and Jeannie retired. 108 00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:42,100 But that was up in Laurel Hill. I know what goes on there. 109 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,020 What goes on there? 110 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,260 Golf, tennis. None of this stuff. 111 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,419 I don't know if there's a correlation 112 00:05:49,499 --> 00:05:52,140 between good sports facilities and good counseling. 113 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,739 Maybe. Maybe not. 114 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:58,900 - Do you know why we're here? - What are you talking about? 115 00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,780 - Why are we here? - For marital counseling. 116 00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:01,859 But why? 117 00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,340 I probably did something bad again. 118 00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:07,419 But you have no real idea what? 119 00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:11,780 No. But I look forward to hearing about it. 120 00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:14,379 And then I'll stop doing it and we can move on. 121 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:17,059 Wait, so you're kind of patronizing me? 122 00:06:17,140 --> 00:06:20,179 Like, I have no idea why she wants to go see a counselor for. 123 00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,900 Well, I'll go along with it. 124 00:06:21,979 --> 00:06:24,260 What would have changed if I'd asked a ton of questions? 125 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:27,660 You'd have seemed like someone who has a stake in the relationship. 126 00:06:27,739 --> 00:06:30,859 So just turning up isn't enough to demonstrate that? 127 00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:32,580 You're humoring me. 128 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:33,859 So can I go home again? 129 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:35,780 No. 130 00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:40,660 I just don't think the people here 131 00:06:40,739 --> 00:06:43,499 are going to be any good for a guy like me. 132 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:45,580 What's a guy like you? 133 00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:47,179 You know me. You married me. 134 00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:49,539 I want to hear what you'd say. 135 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,700 - Just hard working... - Well, retired. 136 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,859 A hardworking, family guy. 137 00:06:55,939 --> 00:06:57,900 Our kids are out in the world now. 138 00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:02,499 I'm a guy who loves his wife and his daughters. 139 00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:04,739 And his grandchildren. Although the youngest... 140 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,499 Will you stop with that? She's two years old. 141 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:08,820 She's not likable. 142 00:07:11,619 --> 00:07:14,499 - When we went to see Jeannie... - That was then. 143 00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:18,780 You asked me about now. Anyway, I still loved my wife. 144 00:07:18,859 --> 00:07:21,739 I just did a stupid thing. 145 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,820 Well, things, as it turned out. 146 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:27,020 I know, I know. I just thought 147 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,979 that was how things were supposed to be. 148 00:07:29,059 --> 00:07:31,220 You thought you're supposed to sleep with other women? 149 00:07:31,299 --> 00:07:33,739 - It was different back then. - Yeah. 150 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,660 In the '90s, when men were men. 151 00:07:35,739 --> 00:07:38,100 Okay, okay. 152 00:07:38,179 --> 00:07:41,499 We went through all this torture with Jeannie. 153 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:45,460 And you and her tell me what a bad guy I am, and we talk and talk. 154 00:07:45,539 --> 00:07:48,580 And here we are, like, a quarter of a century later 155 00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:51,260 and none of that talking counted for anything. 156 00:07:53,299 --> 00:07:55,820 All that talking could never wipe the slate clean. 157 00:07:58,460 --> 00:07:59,780 But it got us this far. 158 00:08:01,140 --> 00:08:02,179 How's your coffee? 159 00:08:05,020 --> 00:08:06,900 Tastes like Almond Joy. 160 00:08:07,499 --> 00:08:08,859 I mean, I like an almond joy... 161 00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:11,460 - I think I want a divorce. - But I wanted to have coffee. 162 00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:16,140 You first. 163 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,700 - A divorce? - Yes. 164 00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:22,460 Seriously? 165 00:08:24,140 --> 00:08:26,859 We're talking to these people because you want a divorce? 166 00:08:29,460 --> 00:08:31,580 What are we gonna talk about if you already know? 167 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:34,659 Well, I don't know. I think. 168 00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:39,859 And there's a lot to talk about. And if it turns out that's what I want, 169 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:42,659 then I can help you accept it. And we can move on with our lives. 170 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,659 And be good parents and grandparents together. 171 00:08:45,739 --> 00:08:47,379 I don't accept it. 172 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,460 I didn't think you would right away. 173 00:08:49,540 --> 00:08:50,739 I'm not going to accept it. 174 00:08:52,379 --> 00:08:53,420 Why not? 175 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,300 Because I love you. 176 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,340 I love you, too. 177 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:02,739 I don't think that will ever end. 178 00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:05,619 Okay, I'm not clever enough to understand this. 179 00:09:06,619 --> 00:09:09,940 We're fine. This is crazy stuff. 180 00:09:10,019 --> 00:09:11,700 This is the coffee shop talking. 181 00:09:11,779 --> 00:09:16,300 I'd say the same thing in any golf club or steakhouse of your choosing. 182 00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,700 It's not so hard to understand. 183 00:09:21,499 --> 00:09:23,940 I just don't know if I want to be married... 184 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,100 To me or to anyone? 185 00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:35,420 I can't imagine being married to anyone else, either. 186 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,300 We should go. 187 00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:52,220 That coffee was absurd. 188 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:56,899 I knew you wouldn't like it. You should have let me describe it 14319

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