All language subtitles for Schooled S02E08 Friendsgiving 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

LAINEY: No matter what school
you went to,

we all had those same classic
Thanksgiving traditions,

like the hand-turkey
art exhibit.

Whoa.

The harvest formal,

and the Thanksgiving
food drive.

Now, that's what
I'm talking about, Darla.

Tell your parents thanks
for giving us

eight cans
of chili paste?

Really?

LAINEY: But for us,
the most popular
Thanksgiving tradition

was our alumni flag football,
a casual game

(WHISTLE BLOWS)
where old friends
could reconnect.

Of course, Coach Mellor
treated it like the
Super Bowl.

Damn it,
Ruben Amaro Jr.!

Quit showboating,
and get your head in the game!

We're only up by 42!

Vanessa, stop trying
to catch up

with your friend
you haven't seen in 20 years,

and catch the damn pass!

Boomshakalakalaka!

Okay.
What am I looking at now?

That is my budget proposal
for this year's

Annual National All-School

Alumni Flag Football
Championship Face-Off

Mellor Bowl Extravaganza,

trademark pending.

Rick, I told you.
Stop adding exciting names.

We have to reprint
the banner ever year.

Don't worry.
I factored that
into the budget.

$100,000?

That's as low as I can go.
There is legitimately no room
for negotiation on this.

I'm not giving you a blimp
or a jumbotron, Rick.

Fine,
but I will never back down

on the halftime air show
with the Blue Angels.

I'll give you a cheese plate
and cucumber water.

Add in lemon wedges,
and we got a deal.

No.
I got cucumber-only water!

Mellor wins!
You're going down, sucker.

No, no. To be clear,
I am not coaching against
you this year.

Because I'm unbeatable?

No, because you're
a hyper-competitive meanie

who saps out
every morsel of fun.

I talked to the whole staff.
No one wants to do it.

I can do it.
Seriously?
You want to coach?

Why the surprise, Mellor?

Because
you're a science nerd

who only exercises that
smartypants brain of yours.

True, but I still
love me some football.

Well, at least we'll have
one coach out there

who can keep it sane.

"Sane" is another word
for "loser."

Good luck,
smartypants brain lady.

Ooh, trash talk.
Exciting.

No. You're supposed
to trash talk back.

Come on.

I need to battle somebody
who knows how this works.

How about you battle
your own alienating
competitive attitude?

That's good.

I'll take on
the only man in this school

who's a worthy opponent, me.

Look out, Rick Mellor,

because Rick Mellor
is coming for you.

Too late to back out?

Please don't.

Those tris.
Ooh.

Looking solid
in the tri area.

* One of these days,
you're gonna get outta here

* Live your life
and finally be free

* Go where you wanna go,
do what you wanna do

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

LAINEY: It was November 20th,
1990-something,

and the William Penn cafeteria

was observing a holiday
tradition of its own.

Nine straight days of
turkey-based dishes?

I mean, is this really
something people
are asking for?

You guys talking
turkey, huh?
(IMITATES CHICKEN)

That's a chicken.
Yeah.

Listen, you guys are lucky,

'cause this Wednesday

is the big faculty
Friendsgiving dinner,

held at my new party pad.

Eh...you know...
Eh. Eh.

Come on.

You guys complain every year
about this tradition,

but in the end,
we all have a blast, right?
Well...

Yeah.
It's cool.

That's a begrudging "yes."

It's all right.

Let's see who's gonna
bring what food.

I'm just take out

my Apple Newton Personal
Digital Assistant here.

Just gonna open my notes.

(CLICK)
Whoops.
Opened up an old note.

Gotta loop back.

Delete.

Delete.

Home screen.
Enter password.

Oh, shoot.
Delete.

And...the battery is dying.

Ignore message.

Okay, Randy G,
what do you want to bring?

Damn it.
Well, at least you stayed.

Are you sure you really want
to do all that cooking again?

Yes.
It's really important
that all the teachers

spend one night a year
just maxin' and relaxin'.

I think the problem is
everyone would rather

max and relax
with their families.

And you don't think
us teachers are a family?

Well, sure. But we're a work
family, not family family.

Well, I think that work family
is family family.

Well, most people think family
family is family family.

Okay, fine. It might not be
family family family,

but it is work family family,
which is still family.

If I promise to bring yams,
can we end this conversation?

(SNAPS FINGERS, CLAPS HANDS)
Yes. Okay.

Let me just put you
in my notes here.

L A, Shoot.
Delete.

While CB was getting
outmatched by fancy new tech,

Coach was making sure

he'd outmatch Wilma
in flag football.

Ah. There she is.

My honorable opponent
for this casual game.

Fun.
Insane fun.

And since you're new

and don't know
any of the alumni playing,

I took the liberty
of creating

two fair and
evenly matched teams.

I gave you some of
the finest athletes

to ever grace this school,

like superstar
and football legend

Deadly Dan the Man.

Then, of course,
there's Brenda Chu.

Girl's a beast on the field.

And I personally reached out
to Adam Goldfarb,

my most memorable athlete
I had back in the '80s.

What's up with his eye?

Wonky, in a good way.

The man can see
the whole field.

Ooh, I should make him
my quarterback.

Ah. Yes.

He definitely knows
what that is.

And as for my team,

just a random assortment
of gangly scrubs

like, uh,
Ruben Amaro Jr., here.

This is gonna be a hoot.

Yes, it is.

Just a silly little game
amongst old friends.

These people
are not your friends.

We must win
at all costs.

This is, without a doubt,
the biggest game of
your lives.

You do know
I'm a professional athlete

who played in
the World Series?

Well, then,
you're warmed up.

Game on!

Hey, Rick, bad news.

My star quarterback,
Adam Goldberg, called.

He said, quote,
"'Terminator 2' just came out,

"and I need to focus."

Damn it, Goldfarb.

You disappoint me athletically
even as an adult!

It's fine.
I got a solid replacement.

Dear Lord.

What's he doing here?

Oh, you two know each other?
Yeah. I know him.

That's my D-hole
big brother.

Well, that D-hole
is my QB.

Nick Mellor
is prepared to play

this bastardized version
of America's game.

Let's flag it up!

We seriously have to play
against this thing?

No, because Coach Wilma
is cheating.

You cheat, cheater.

You're the one who took
all the good players

and stuck me
with the goobers.

You know about that?

I can spot a goober
a mile away,
'cause I was a goober.

You know, I just did this
to have some fun,

but now you got me mad.

Good, 'cause I like
a little competition.

When this game is over,

you will look me in the eyes
and say, "Wilma wins."

You're going down,
little bro!

Yeah, suck it,
Coach Mellor.

Also, hi,
Coach Mellor.

You're looking lean.

Okay,
we ready for the coin flip?

No. No flip.
Not until you tell
my big brother

he can't play
in this game.

Nick's an alumni.
Of course he can play.

Sounds to me like
it's game on, bitch.

Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa!

Okay, this is not
a real game.

Let's lay off
the "bitch" talk.

My bad. Just excited
to have fun out there.

(MOUTHS WORD)
She did it again!

Wilma,
I'm a little thrown

by this whole new
competitive thing
you got going on.

New? I'm the one that drove
my kids to place first

in the citywide
academic decathlon, remember?

Yeah, but that was math.

I didn't think it would
translate to real things.

Oh, it translates.
Game on!

(MOUTHS WORD)

Hey!
I heard that!

I heard it.
I saw it.

LAINEY: Wilma had shown
a new side
of herself at school,

and I was about to see
a new side of CB at home.

Hi.
Morning.

Thought I'd swing by
on my way to school.

No, uh, come in.

Uh, do you want a Danish
or some coffee or anything?

I have neither.
Um, I'm sorry.

I'm a little bit
frazzled.

I wasn't expecting you.
Oh, bed head.

Oh, God.

Wow. Really digging
the new party pad.

Oh, yeah. Here, let me
give you the grand tour.

Here's my Sony three-disc
CD player with bass boost.

In case you get bored,
whip out the Bop It.
Beep-beep!

Super fun-guy
blow-up furniture.

I'm standing outside,
'cause I have an
outdoor patio.

Are you a fan of NBA star
Shaquille O'Neal?

Do you like kung-fu?

Well, now you can experience
both with, "Shaq Fu."

I don't know what that is,

and I don't want to find out,
so no.

I just came by
to drop off the yams

'cause I can't make
Friendsgiving tonight.

Oh, no!
Please don't bail.

I know.
I'm sorry.

But it's the one time
everyone's back in town.

Barry flew in,
and we're going to Buckets

with Erica and the JTP.

Well, thanks for the
giant mound of yams.
Really appreciate it.

Now we've got some great
leftovers for tomorrow.

Wait, tomorrow's
Thanksgiving.

Right. Yeah.

That means I'll be doing
my Thanksgiving plans

at my Thanksgiving
appointment.

You do have somewhere to go
for Thanksgiving, right?

Yeah. Of course.
I got plans with my folks.

Aren't they
in the Bahamas?

Mm. Yes.
I did tell you that.

I meant, um,
my Philly folks.

Big dinner, 16 cousins.

We're all heading over
to my Aunt Sh... Shlamma.

Aunt who?
Shaltmor?

I don't know
what you're saying.

My Aunt Sh,
Shirlimonst.

Are you saying
"Shirlimonst"?

Are you?
I think so.

Anywhoozle, still got
a ton of stuff to cook
for Friendsgiving.

You do know school starts
in an hour, right?

Oh, no worries.

I got three crock pots
on high

and the Ron Popeil
Showtime Rotisserie.

You just set it
and forget it.

Alright. Let's roll.

You're wearing pajamas.

Did forget that.

LAINEY: As CB was
setting and forgetting

his Thanksgiving plans,

Wilma and Mellor
were coaching a game

to be remembered forever,
for all the wrong reasons.

Come on, ref!

He's not even pretending
to go for the flag!

GLASCOTT: What do you
want me to do?

I told him this was just
for fun, but he won't listen.

Aah!

Sounds like your boys
have had enough, Ricky.

Never!
Everyone calm down.

This is supposed to be a
friendly game amongst friends.

Aah!
Ohh!

All right, you know what?
Time to bring in the big guns.

Fitzy, you're out!
I'm QB!

You can't play!
You're a coach!
Tell him, ref.

And an alumni.

Tell her, ref.

Well, if coaches can play,
I'm going in, too.

Flags off!

It's real football now!
(CLIPBOARD THUDS)

Game on, nerd lady!

Blue 32!

Please do not call plays
like this is a real game!

Hut, hut!

(THUD)

(GRUNTS)
Aah!

(GROANS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

Okay, that's it!
I'm calling the game!

Which means we win!

Go on! Say it!
Never!

Say it!
Say "Wilma wins"!

Is she single?

LAINEY: After the flag
football fiasco, Glascott
was ready to celebrate

the true spirit
of Thanksgiving.

We are pilgrims,
and to show peace,
we give you this first dinner.

And in return,
we give you all of our land.

Thanks for being
so giving.

Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving!

Gobble gobble, everyone.

(LAUGHS)

But seriously, I have
a big announcement to make.

We will be extending
our Thanksgiving food drive

through the weekend.

So, please bring any
leftover cans you might have.

(FEEDBACK)

Gobble gobble.

I, too,
have a big announcement.

Tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.,
3:00 p.m. central,

there will be
a flag football rematch.

Wait, what?

I'm looking for some
tough players,

could be an alumni,
a parent,

a strong uncle with soft hands
and elite escapability.

Gobble gobble.

I, too, would like
to make an announcement.

There will not be
a rematch of today's game,

as I'm officially retiring
unbeaten, unbroken,
and unbowed.

Thank you.

And I'd like to announce
that's a punk move!

Gobble gobble.

Well, I'd like to announce,
you just got to
accept the fact

that there's someone
better than you.

And I'd like to announce
that I'll take you on

any time, any place!

And my announcement
is that there will be

no more
announcements ever.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES,
AUDIENCE GASPS)

Make your way
to the nearest exit.
Gobble gobble.

LAINEY: Losing to Wilma was
something Coach would
never forget.

As for CB, he learned

you don't set and forget
a whole Thanksgiving meal.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

Bro! Your apartment's
on fire!

CB: Fire?

Okay, everyone, learn
while I'm gone, because fire!

All of it is gone.

You don't know that.

Um, maybe it's not
as bad as it looks.

Not my Sony stereo
with bass boost.

How will I boost my bass?

My fun-guy
blow-up furniture.

It's neither fun
nor blown up!

Not you too, "Shaq Fu"!

How could a simple fire

beat a 7-foot-tall
kung-fu master

who sometimes plays
professional basketball?

How?

(DISTORTED BEEP)
(DISTORTED) Bop it.

Dude, I've never seen you
actually mad before,
and it's weird.

I cannot wait to find out

what dillweed
in this building

is responsible for this.

Well, found the culprit,

LAINEY: Oh.

You're the dillweed.

Well, the good news,
you can tell the teachers
that they got their wish,

'cause Friendsgiving
is torched.

It's gonna be okay,
dude.

You can stay with me

until you figure out
what to do.

Nah.
Barry's staying with you.

I don't want to...

I'll just sleep
in my bedroom,

otherwise known as
the outdoor patio.

Oh, spider!
There's a spider.

I hate this outdoor
patio bedroom so much.

You two should be
ashamed of yourselves

for ruining that ridiculously
inaccurate Thanksgiving play.

I hate to do this,
but as head of school,

you leave me no choice.

You two are no longer allowed

to be competitive
on school grounds ever again.

You do realize that I'm, like,
in charge of sports, right?

And you just can't tell
someone not to be competitive.

I mean, this is who I am.

Okay.
Then let's get to the root

of why you both
refuse to lose,
no matter what the cost.

Well, I grew up with
four older brothers.

They loved sports,
and I loved my microscope.

They teased me
and called me a loser.

That's why, as a kid,
I began to win at all costs,

so no one would ever call me
a loser again.

Wow.

Yes,
it's very impressive.

But not as impressive
as my story.

When I was a kid,
my dream was to have a family

and to grow up to be
the dad I never had.

Until I have kids of my own,
those students that I coach,

those are my children.

And this flag football game

(VOICE BREAKING)
is the only time

Daddy gets to see
his babies.

Really was
a touching story, Rick,

almost as touching as mine.

Well, did you cry
during your story?

'Cause Mellor cried.

You don't think
Wilma can cry?

Watch this.
No!

(SOBBING)
Guys, do not compete

over who has
the sadder backstory.

But if you had to choose

who had the saddest
in this room, who would it be?

Me. I win that game every day.

So cut it out.

Okay, boss.
No more competing.

At the very least,
you have my word.

What? You think I can't
stop competing?

Not the way I can.

While I see the irony
of you two

competing over
who can compete less,

I'm good if it ends all this.

It's over.

And we all agree,
I won at losing.

Which is what
the winner would say,

which means I won
even though I lost!

No, you lost lost because

I stopped competing
10 minutes ago.

I have been looking
for you guys everywhere!

I need your help.
It's for CB.

Ugh. Is this about his
annoying Friendsgiving?

So annoying.

I liked the concept at first,
but he's annoying.

He also lost everything
in a fire.

Oh, my God!
Good guy. A good guy.

(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

Are you done? 'Cause CB
has no family out here,

and he refuses
to stay with me.

Well, he can stay with me.
I insist.

Don't you have a parrot
that swoops down

on anyone that it perceives
as a rival for
your affections?

Well, I will show photos of CB
to Feather Locklear

to let her know
we have a new houseguest.

Okay. While Glascott runs
things by his avian
life partner,

why don't we pitch in

to throw a kickass
Friendsgiving
that CB deserves?

Genius.
What do you need?

I am covering desserts,
Coop's on place settings,

Grange is covering
decorations, Johnny Atkins
has a gourd guy.

So, we're on
main course?

Exactly.
You do turkey.

Wilma, can you do
stuffing and sides?

On it.
Great.

This is perfect.

Everybody knows Mellor
makes a mean turkey

and an even meaner
cranberry sauce.
Hmm.

Not as mean as mine.

Cranberry sauce is like,
my thing.

Well, it can't
be your thing

because I said
it's my thing first.

Trust me. You do not want
to take on my sauce.

Lady, this is a war
you will not win.

LAINEY:
The battle between Coach
and Wilma raged on.

Meanwhile,
CB was in for an ambush.

Whoa.

We found
the makeshift hobo tent

you set up
under the bleachers.

Yeah, well, that's because

it wouldn't fit
on my outdoor patio.

Look, I want you to come
and stay with me

until you're back
on your feet.

Oh, no.
I don't want to impose.
I insist.

Starting tonight,
you are staying with me

and my territorial parrot

who pecks her own feathers
due to anxiety.

Put it there, roomie.
I'm gonna snap.

No, no. No snapping.
And you know why?

'Cause the whole staff
has banded together

to throw you the Friendsgiving
that you deserve.

Really?

Really.
Really.

Surprise.
Hey, hey, hey!

Why are there
so many gourds?

You said go to my gourd guy
and get the gourds.

I got the gourds.

Doesn't matter.
What matters most
is that we're all here

to celebrate you
and the magic of
Friendsgiving...

Do you mean
Friendsgi?

They gave me
three minutes, three.

Well, what really matters
is, uh,

this killer meal
we organized just for you.

Attention, teachers
of the lounge!

The world's best cranberry
sauce has arrived!

Which is mine.

Guys, where's the food
to put the sauce on?

It, um, well...
Oh.

Yeah. Did, okay.
I'll...

So, all we have for my
Friendsgiving is sauce?

My recipe is so versatile
that it presents
like a sauce...

Mine is so hearty.
...but goes down like a soup.

It eats like a meal.

Meal beats soup.

You two need to leave
right now.

No one is leaving
until we all sit down

and tell CB how thankful
we are to have him
in our lives.

Granger?
Yes.

Uh, I'm very
thankful for CB,

a man of true honor, who would
never criticize my banner.

Wow.
Johnny.

I'm also thankful
CB's here.

Because of you, bro,
I got to reconnect with Brad,

my gourd guy.

Such a solid dude.
Always comes through.

He's like CB, but just,
the best.

Really was worth having
my place burning down

so that you could
reconnect with Brad.

You're welcome.

Rick, Wilma, give some
real thanks, quick.

Yes, I am thankful that CB

is the heart and soul
of this faculty,

so kind, so caring,
so honest.

So, tell us, honestly,
whose sauce is better,

hers or mine?

I'm thankful CB's
gonna choose my sauce.

CB: Oh.
Touching stuff.

I'd like to take my turn
and thank you all

for throwing me
a Friendsgiving

that truly reflects
what we mean to each other.

Aww.
Aww.

See, silly me considered
you all my family family,

but you're not.
You're not even
my work family.

You're just a bunch of
random people that
I work with,

and it's on me for trying
to make it anything more.

But we're all here
for you.

It's the thought
that counts, right?

Let's be honest,
none of you

actually really cared
about Friendsgiving.

Enjoy the weekend
with your families.

LAINEY: After our disastrous
Friendsgiving,

I took it upon myself
to restore CB's faith
in his work family.

Morning, sunshine.
You look...awake.

I spent the night
on Glascott's couch

with a hateful parrot
staring me down.

Look, I know our half-assed,
last-minute Friendsgiving

didn't exactly make you feel
like we're there for you.

Not even a little.

Well, I still
refuse to give up.

Even though I'm broke,
I bought you a few key things

for your new party pad.

Screw having a blow-up couch,
'cause you got a
blow-up chair.

Okay, it's a beach ball,
but you can sit on it.

Sure,
your Bop It's gone, okay?

But you know
what's even better?

Cup-it.

Cup-it!
Cup-it!

And of course,
no party pad is complete

without a Swony stereo
with bass boost.

Did you just say "Swony"?

Yes. It's actually better
than Sony and costs $10.

Lainey, I really
appreciate what you did,

but this isn't on you
to fix.

It's on me for,

thinking all us
teachers were family.

Dude, we're dysfunctional
and competitive

and we let
each other down.

But if that's not family,
I don't know what is.

Okay, maybe you're
there for me.

But it's pretty clear
nobody else is.

I wouldn't be
so sure about that.

Come on.
Follow us, buddy.

There's something
you've got to see.

* I'll stand by you

* I'll stand by you *

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Oh, my gosh.

What the...

Is this all for me?

We spread the word
that you lost everything.

Oh, my God.

Turns out, everything you need
is right here in this room.

Sorry about that dinner, CB,
but we really are family.

Not just us.
Everyone in this school.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Oh.

Got to admit,
it feels good

knowing there's another
teacher in this place

who likes to win
as much as I do.

I wanted to win so badly,
I even spilled my guts
to Glascott

about all that stupid
"wanting to be a dad" stuff.

Don't worry.
I never told anyone

about how my brothers
thought I was a loser.

They couldn't be more wrong
about you.

Thanks.

And I think everyone
would agree

you're gonna make
one hell of a dad.

Ah, damn it.

You're gonna make me cry
for real this time.

It's not a competition.

LAINEY: That's the thing
about Thanksgiving.

It can make the most
competitive friends stop

and be grateful that they have
each other in their lives.

Happy Friendsgiving, Lain.

I'll see you Monday?

I'll see you tonight.
You're crashing at my place.

No. I don't want to impose
on you and Barry.

It's cool.
Barry can stay
at his mom's.

Beverly Goldberg
is more than happy

to have any of her kids back
at home for the weekend,

or forever.

Are you sure?

Of course.
You're family.

LAINEY: Even when
you've lost everything,

your family is the one thing
you'll always have.

It doesn't matter
if it's family family

or your work family,

we should just be thankful

to have the people
we love at our side,

and they'll stand by you.

Yes.

What happened when

you found out
that your house was on fire

while you were
teaching?

The intercom went off
in my room,

and they said,
"Your house is on fire."

So I ran out of the building,

and then I realized
I didn't have a car.

I walked to school
that day.

So, I ran back in,

and the receptionist at school
tossed me her keys,

and I ran out to her car,
and then I realized

I don't know
what car she had.

So then I finally
got in the car and went,

and there were firemen

throwing burning logs
through the windows.

It was crazy.

The principal of
the school realized

that I had been in class,
so they walked in,

and there were kids,
and they were still working.

That made me proud, to think
that even though
I wasn't there,

they carried on
without me.
Sweet.

There was one time,
I was walking down the street,

and a woman pulled over
in her car and said,

"I have some pots and pans
in the back."

And I still have
some of those pots and pans.

I am gonna be forever in debt
to the school community.

That's beautiful.