All language subtitles for Schooled S02E01 Dangerous Minds 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track4_[eng]

LAINEY: My first year
at William Penn,

I thought I'd really connected
with the students.

But then, over the summer,
Barry and I saw

Dangerous Minds,
starring Michelle Pfeiffer.

There are no victims
in this classroom!

LAINEY: Seeing that movie
made me realize

I could go deeper,

really get involved
with these kids,
which they need,

because they are dealing
with a lot of scary stuff.

For my second year back,
I was determined to get

all up in their business
by going full Pfeiffer.

(COOLIO'S
GANGSTA'S PARADISE PLAYS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Good.
I got your attention.

Sextuplets.
Six notes per measure.

Oh, yeah,
we're goin' there.

(STUDENTS GROAN)
Oh, come on.

Welcome to Guitar 2.
Any questions?

Yeah, why are you dressed
like Olivia Newton-John
at the end of Grease?

(LAUGHTER)
I'm not.

I'm dressed like
your worst nightmare.

A teacher who cares.

The curriculum says
the first song we're learning

is Row, Row,
Row Your Boat.

(CHUCKLES)

That's not real-life stuff.

How many of you
have ever even rowed a boat?

But was it
gently down a stream?

Exactly.

I want to teach music
that speaks to me,

like Fiona Apple.

What song speaks to you,
Bobby Maloney?

Is Row, Row, Row Your Boat
definitely off the table?

What about you,
Aaron Rubin?

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Ow!

Why would you
throw that?

As your prize
for a great answer.

Next time, you should try
throwing it to somebody

with better
hand-eye coordination.

Like my blind grandma.
(LAUGHTER)

Sure, Ronnie.
Laugh through the pain.

But having a blind grandma
sounds heavy.

If you ever want
to rap about it...

Yeah, I'd like that.

It's been hard
'cause she has
to touch my face

with her weird old-lady hands
all the time.

Veronica,
when parents are stressed,

sometimes, the children
feel the pain.

But you're a resilient
young woman.

You will get through
this kitchen remodel.

To make toast, I have to walk
all the way to the garage.

Hey, there are no victims
in this classroom.

But if you start
to feel overwhelmed,

you can call me anytime
on my new mobile phone.

555-0159.

I may take you up on that.

My parents
are picking out tile tonight,

and they're a mile apart.

Good luck.

Rick!

How was your summer?

I went zip-lining
in Costa Rica,

and I fed fresh clams
to a capuchin monkey.

Hmm.
Nobody tells you what to do
when you run out of clams.

I heard you giving out
your personal phone number
to a student.

This year, I decided
I wanna give these kids more.

Classic
second-year-teacher mistake.

They suck you in
with their needy,
little faces,

and the next thing you know,
you're at their house,

pretending to be their butler
so you can impress

some rich girl
they met at soccer camp.

On the plus side,

I did learn how to make
a mean beef Wellington.

I would totally do that.

As your mentor,
I have to say that

getting too close will end up
biting you in the ass,

like a small
but aggressive monkey
jonesing for clams.

* One of these days
You're gonna get outta here *

* Live your life
And finally be free *

* Go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do *

* Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" *

Barry, guess what.
I'm walking into the hallway.

I know!
The reception is so clear!

I said it's clear.

Wait. Hold on.
You're breaking up.

Breaking up!

No! No, no! Not us!
No, we're not breaking up!

Barry, are you crying?

(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)
Mm.

This thing is a miracle.

Wow. Looks like Lainey Lewis

joined the space program
over the summer.

Barry and I got them
so we can stay

in constant contact
with each other.

We are crushing
the long-distance-relationship
thing.

So, you guys made it
through the summer, then?

Ah. Man,
that's good.

Still going strong,
like Brad and Gwyneth.

Brad and Gwyny
are splitsville.

But they got
the same haircut!

I had a pretty
bitchin' summer.

I, uh... I did the whole
Renaissance Faire circuit.

I threw some pottery.
Oh. You all have

some Swedish butter pots
coming, by the way.

So, where's this new teacher
we're supposed to be meeting?

I just left a bunch
of unsupervised fourth-graders

to Clorox my gym mats.

Oh! Well,
here she is now.

Everyone...
C.B.: Hey!

...this is our new biology
teacher, Miss Wilma Howell.

(CHUCKLES) Hi.

I was clever enough
to steal Wilma away

from my good friend
the commandant

at Valley Forge Prep.

If you've never heard
a Marine Colonel
sobbing on the phone,

it is actually
very unsettling.

He's a good friend
and a real American hero.

What do you got there?

Treats on
the first day, huh?

Oh, are these
mochi balls?

Actually, mouse-y balls.

Frozen baby mice
I feed to my classroom snake.

That's really upsetting.

It's biology.
Circle of life.

Sadly, nothing will
shock these kids.

They see worse out there
every day

in this snake-eat-mice
world.

Do I need to put
my name on this?

Uh, I think the whole
freezer's yours now.

Uh, let me get
my lean cuisines
out of there.

What? It's how
Coop keeps it tight.

Must be a culture shock,
Wilma, coming from
a military school.

Well, if it helps
ease the transition at all,

please feel free
to call me Colonel Fun.

Oh, by the way,
Friday is Pajama Day,

and that's an order
from the colonel.

Yes!
(ALL MURMURING)

All you folks here
are all so, uh, cheerful

and nice.
C.B.: Thank you.

We're actually
trying to change
the official school motto

to "Hakuna Matata."
(CHUCKLES)

Yes, but we're getting
a surprising amount

of pushback
from Disney legal.

(EXHALES)
I'm just a little confused

as to what you have
to be so happy about.

Based on my classes so far,

your kids are
a bunch of dum-dums.

Ooh! New teacher
coming in hot!

Solid hire!

We try to steer clear
of labeling our students
"dum-dums."

Yeah, we like to refer to them
as "future achievers."

That sounds like
a nice way to say
"somebody else's problem."

Well, thank you.

I'm here to teach
hard science,

not coddle them
with pajama parties.

To be clear, the pajamas
are not for the students.

No, that's a faculty thing.

This is what I sleep in,
so I'm good to go.

LAINEY: Wilma,
I reach my students

by getting in their faces
and into their lives.

Which is why
I'm taking them all
out to Six Flags,

like Michelle Pfeiffer.

That makes
absolutely no sense.

MELLOR: This is what
I've been telling her.

You drive a bunch of kids
to the amusement park,

they start to treat you
like a chauffeur.

And that's halfway
to a butler.

Rick, I really appreciate
all the help

you gave me last year,
when I was a newbie.

It was adorable
how pathetic you were.

She was like Bambi
in that scene

where he's slipping
on the ice. (CHUCKLES)

Bambi. Clumsy idiot.

Yeah,
but I'm not slipping now,

and I don't need
a mentor anymore.

Well, as your mentor,
I'd have to advise
against that decision.

From now on,
I want to chart
my own course

by being exactly like
Michelle Pfeiffer.

You mean
like one of those teachers

that's always there
for their students

when they have
no one else to turn to?

Plus, her bone structure.
The woman is flawless.

LAINEY: It turns out
taking 30 kids to Six Flags...

Excuse us. So sorry.
LAINEY: ...was prohibitively
expensive.

Popcorn run.

LAINEY: I settled on
a more manageable
class outing.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)

(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)

Barry, guess where
you're calling me now.

I'm in a movie theater.
(LAUGHS)

Shh!

Wait, who is this?

Let me step outside.

Yeah, I'm speaking
on a mobile phone,
so I can go anywhere.

MAN: Please do!

LAINEY: Who am I talking to?

MAN: (ON SPEAKER)
This is WYSP 94.1
on your radio dial.

Your name was chosen at random
to win tickets

to see Fiona Apple
tonight at the Trocadero.

Congratulations!

Oh, my God.

Are you serious?
I love Fiona Apple.

MAN: Bring a guitar,
because you're invited

to jam with Fiona
before the show.

Just go to her tour bus
and say

"I'm ready
for my Apple jam."
And be persistent.

Security may not be familiar
with your contest prize.

Thank you so much.

I literally can die now.
(CHUCKLES)

Or at least after Fiona and I
become best friends

and record a live album
at Red Rocks.
(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)

By the way,
Lainey Lewis.

Rock star by night,
teacher star by day.

**

Oh, crap!
I forgot about the kids!

LAINEY:
Over the next few days,
CB saw more of

Wilma Howell's
teaching style

and found
he didn't quite like it.

What is going on?

That new biology teacher's
punishing us.

I couldn't explain
how the human heart works.

But who amongst us can?

Everybody in there.

Okay,
you clowns are dismissed.

Go disappoint
some other teacher.

(SIGHS) I know you meant
"clown" as an insult, Wilma,

but as a graduate
of Barnum & Bailey University,

I take that
as the highest of compliments,

so...
thank you very much.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Tom Scott.
What are you up to, man?

He's not allowed to leave
until he puts that skeleton
back together.

I got a C-minus
on my anatomy test.

That Operation game
is very misleading.

You don't think you're being
a little bit too harsh?

If anything,
I'm getting soft.

My last C-minus kid
is that skeleton.

Am I any closer,
Ms. Howell?

Tom, you've seen a person
before, right?

Well, yeah,
but only with skin on.

I've worked with your kind
at other schools, CB.

You're the "fun" teacher.

Hey, if the students
are having fun,

they don't even notice
they're learning.

Because
maybe they're not.

I'm less worried
about entertaining them

than making sure they're ready
to go out into a world

that's not in the mood
to cut them any slack.

Ms. Howell?

I don't have my report
on the circulatory system.

It's been a tough week.

My parakeet died.

We had a memorial
in the English class.

We lit candles
and we sang
On Eagle's Wings.

And I made
a clever adjustment
of the lyrics.

Yeah, we can all picture
what that adjust...

I made it
"parakeet wings."
(CHUCKLES)

This must be a painful time
for you, Debra.

I'll need you to bring me in
the dead bird, please.

What?
What kind of child

would lie about a dead pet
just to get out
of an assignment?

All of them.
Worst-case scenario,
I'm wrong,

Debra brings in the bird,
I apologize,

and we have a really cool
specimen to dissect in class.

Either the bird
or your assignment
on my desk tomorrow.

Your call.

(SCOFFS)
This is so unfair!

See? She gets it.

(SIGHS)

I can't believe
I fell for it.

I'm standing there
with my stupid guitar,

like a crazy stalker, pounding
on Fiona Apple's tour bus,

when suddenly,
I get dragged off
by her security team.

If they don't call themselves
the "Apple Corps,"

they are missing a bet.

This cruel
but ingenious prank

was obviously perpetrated by
one of your jerk-dip students.

She's doling out her number

like a teacher
who paints houses
on the weekend.

Oh. That actually
reminds me.

I gave my number
to one kid.

MELLOR: And by now,
it's being spread all over
the school like head lice.

You need to figure out
who did this

and come down on them
like a ton of bricks.

If anything,
I'm gonna come down on them

with a ton of understanding
and compassion.

You crossed a boundary
with these kids,

and you lost
their respect.

Yes, and loss of respect
is no laughing matter.

(CHUCKLES) Unless you're the
brilliant Rodney Dangerfield.

But even then,
I can sense

a certain amount of pain
behind the laughter.

This is exactly
when a mentor comes in handy.

When you finally
come to your senses, Lewis,

I'm perfectly willing
to be begged.

For the record, I think
it's great that Lainey wants

to be more open
and trusting
with the kids.

I refuse to see the world
as some dark
Darwinian hellscape

where the freezers are packed
full of dead baby mice

that are easily mistaken
for popcorn shrimp.

CB accidentally ate
one shrimp-mouse,

and now, all of a sudden,
he has a grudge against Wilma.

She's outrageously strict
with her students, John.

She's also an outrageously
great teacher, CB.

MAN: (ON RADIO)
Just go to her tour bus
and say

"I'm ready for my Apple jam."

LAINEY: Wait.
That's the radio guy.

Were you in on it?
Coop, what the hell?

No!

All I did was confiscate
this Talkboy thingie

from Aaron Rubin
in my Spanish class

'cause he kept making it
say "sacapuntas."

What does that mean?
"Pencil sharpener."

Oh!
Such a beautiful language.

It was Aaron Rubin?

Do you want me
to call him into my office?

I've been practicing my looks
of stern disapproval.

C.B.:
Are you doing it now?

'Cause it actually looks
friendlier.

I am cursed with
my grandmother's kind eyes.

I don't want
to punish Aaron.

He's having trouble
making high-school friends.

That's why he acted out.

I'm gonna sit him down
and figure out what's going on

inside that dangerous mind
of his.

He's always been
an awkward kid.

Yeah, he has
the body of a child

and the head of someone
trying to sell you insurance.

Aaron! Word's out!
Ms. Lewis knows
you pranked her!

But it's weird.
She hasn't called my parents,
no principal's office,

and get this...
When I saw her this morning,

she said...
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
"Hi, Aaron."

She's just messing with you
before she strikes.

Just like that snake
in Ms. Howell's class

plays with the mouse
before eating it.
LAINEY: Hi, Aaron.

Can I see you for a minute?

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Me and Bobby are actually
in the middle of a...

We'll finish that up later,
buddy.

Hey, Rick?
You wanted to see me?

No, Coop.
You wanted to see me.

"Coop, come see me.
Mellor."

And you are
gonna be delighted
that you decided to stop by.

Again, not my idea.

You see, the thing is,
I currently have an opening

in my stable of mentees.

Your... Your stable of what?

I'm mentoring you, man!
Congratulations!

See, currently,
as a Spanish teacher,

you are just bueno.

But I can help you
up your game

until you are
el profesor excelente.

Oh, I see. You're looking
for a rebound mentee

because Lainey Lewis
dumped you.

I've had my eye on you
for years.

You got a lot of raw talent
just waiting to be molded.

For example, let's take
a look at your current
class formation.

Now, you got
a lot of your weaker students

riding the bench
in the back.

I say you move them
down to the middle,

and you flank them
on both sides

with some of
your varsity Spanish speakers.

For example,
like that exchange
student from Barcelona.

That kid is
a friggin' natural.

You build your offense
around him,

and then you blitz
these scrubs nonstop

with the "Como estas"
and the "Como te llamas"

And you ride this kid
all the way to the postseason.

That'd be summer school.

I'm gonna be on a cruise
with my family.

Well, if you don't want it,
I can't want it for you.

Yeah, I don't want it.

You'll be back!

So, listen,
we both know

what went down
with the Fiona Apple prank.

I hate to see a good kid
getting hooked on pranks.

You're sweating, Aaron.
You want a Snapple?
Yeah, right!

I see
what you're trying to do.

There's Tabasco sauce
in there. Or wizz.

Trust me,
I have no intention
of pranking you.

That's exactly what
you would say if you were
going to prank me.

But it's also what I'd say
if I wasn't.

I get it,
you're in high school now,

and you're feeling lost
socially.

You want to know
what I turned to

to find my way
as an awkward teen?

Grab that guitar.
Let me show you
a couple chords.

What'd you do? You replace
the strings with razor wire

so when I strum it,
I slice off my fingertips?

What would I want
with your severed fingertips?

You'd wear them to
commit crimes, and then
I'd get framed for it.

Well, nice try!

I'm outta here!
Aaron!

(SIGHS)

Hey, Aaron.

I heard about that prank
you played on Ms. Lewis.

That was epic.
Really?

How'd you even dream up
something like that
fake deejay thing?

I would have just
wizzed in her beverage.

I saw an opportunity,
and like most things in life,

it's about timing
and who you know.

Totally.

Well, listen,
me and the guys
are gonna head out

to see that movie
American Pie.

You wanna come?
Oh, my God!

Me, go with you guys
to a movie

that's rated "R" for language
and adult situations?

I'm in!

Actually, Ronnie,
instead of going to the movie,

why don't you go
(BLEEP) yourself?

Whoa!

You're clearly in cahoots
with Ms. Lewis.

No idea
what you're talking about,

or what "cahoots" means.

Whatever, weirdo.

Hey, you want to catch
American Pie with us, nerd?

See you 'round, Aaron.

Wait. What?

I blew my chance
to hang with the seniors?

I tried to tell you,
there was no prank.

So I pranked myself.

And the most ingenious part,
I never saw it coming.

This is all your fault!

You giving around
your number

and trying to get in
everybody's lives?

What kind of teacher
does that?

It's too weird!

I kept waiting for you
to punish me,
like a normal teacher.

I don't wanna punish you.
I want to help you.

Well, if you wanna help me,
just leave me alone.

Okay. Wilma Howell
has gone nuts this time.

She's keeping her whole class
after school

as some kind
of a group punishment.
Standing out there

on the football field.
Look at that.

I'm sure she has her reasons.

Maybe someone
smacked their gum.

In fairness, that is also
a pet peeve of mine.

Well, your pet peeve
better not die,

or she'll make you dig it up
and bring it to class.

Okay, fine. I will go out
and have a talk with her.

I can always use another entry
into my cloud journal.

Oh, you have
a cloud journal?

GLASCOTT: Wilma,
is there some good reason

that you have
your whole class out here?

(CHUCKLES)
And trust me,
no one enjoys

pointlessly staring at the sky
more than I do.

Whoa!
Look at that one, CB.

It looks like
Pat Sajak riding a dolphin.

We'll just be
a little longer, John.

Well, you have
poor Debbie O'Donahue out here

in the direct sunlight.

That pale child will burn
standing next to a light bulb.

Yeah, hasn't Debra
been through enough,

after forcing her
to exhume her parakeet?

Look, I've been hearing
some troubling things
about your teaching methods.

Full disclosure,
mostly from me.

But also
from credible sources.

Actually, I was lying
about my parakeet.

What?
Why did you lie?

To get out
of my assignment.

Diane Para-keaton
is very much alive.

Well, we're happy
for you and the bird

but sad you felt
you had to mislead us.

But Ms. Howell
wasn't fooled.

She saw right through me
and called me on it.

So I did my report,
and I got a B-plus.

You earned a B-plus.

I am very sorry, Wilma.

You were right
and I was wrong
about Debra.

That said, I would hold
100 fake dead pet memorials

if it meant truly being there
for one grieving student.

The service you held
for my tetra fish
was deeply moving.

Well, you said
he needed a Viking funeral,

so we shot a bunch
of tiny flaming arrows

at an empty matchbox.

No, Quentin Tetra-tino
was really in there.

He died
from endocrine failure.

(VOICE BREAKING)
It was very painful.

Oh, that's great!

There you go, C.B.,
your one out of 100

that wasn't
yanking your chain.

Well, my takeaway here
is that we have

a lot of excellent teachers
at William Penn

with different approaches
to teaching.

There's more than one way
to skin a cat.

And if you stop by
my class on Tuesday,
you'll see two of them.

Okay. Uh, one other question.

Why do you have
your whole class
out here for punishment?

Oh, it's not a punishment.
It's a reward.

This class has been doing
exemplary work

in our section
on the monarch butterfly.

Look!
Coming from the trees!

(STUDENTS GASP)

C.B.: Oh, my God!

That's amazing!

It's so beautiful.

I don't mind
that it's covering up
Pat Sajak.

Hey, Rick,
you seeing this?

It's like
a butterfly wonderland.

Ah, the annual
monarch migration
down to Mexico.

Your old stomping grounds,
senor.

Nope. I'm from Toronto.

But it's a shame
they're flying
out of the sun like that.

Makes it harder to see.

Here.

Try this.

Oh.

Much better. Thanks.

You've just been mentored.

Welcome aboard.

This is a transcendent moment.
Thanks for sharing it, Wilma.

WILMA: Seems like
the kind of occasion

where some artsy type
might want to recite a poem.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(RECITING) Come, my lady.
Come, come, my lady.

You're my butterfly.
Sugar. Baby.

Come, my lady.
You're my pretty baby.

You're my butterfly...

Uh, okay.
Maybe we should wrap this up.

One more minute.
You don't want
to miss the best part.

The best part?
How can it get
any better than...

The crows!

(CROWS CAWING)
Good Lord!

They're eating
the butterflies!

Awesome!

I'm really starting
to come around on these kids.

You got
a nice school here, John.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)
Barry?

AARON: Ms. Lewis?
I-It's Aaron Rubin.

Aaron?
What's going on?

Did I win
another contest?

No. I'm in trouble.
What kind of trouble?

I got caught sneaking in
to see "American Pie."

And you called me?

My mom and dad
would kill me!

In fact, you're the only adult
I could think of to call.

You just want
to help me, right?
More than anything.

Hang tight.
I'll be right there.
(MOBILE PHONE BEEPS)

I know what
you're going to say, Rick.
I'm making a mistake,

and I'm going to end up
that kid's butler,

but I don't care.

Aaron reached out, and I'm
going to be there for him.

So prepare
that Beef Wellington recipe.

Actually,
I'm impressed, Lewis.

24 hours ago, that kid
set out to humiliate you,

and he did so
in spectacular fashion.

Well,
that's in the past.

Everybody's still
talking about it.

But you handled it
your way.

And now
Aaron is coming to you

as the person
he trusts the most.

That's huge.
You think?

Look,
I put a lot of work

into maintaining
the godlike status

I have
with these students,

but it comes at a price.

I don't connect to them
the way you do.

Maybe the second-year teacher
can teach me something.

Well, I had
an excellent mentor.

That's nice,
but you can't come back.

Coop already
took your place.

(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
(CRAZY TOWN'S BUTTERFLY
PLAYING)

(RAPPING)
* Come, my lady *

LAINEY: It was
a whole new year
at William Penn.

Was I as cool
as Michelle Pfeiffer?

No.

Was I the teacher
I wanted to be yet?

No.
But I was on my way.

* You're my pretty baby *

* I'll make your legs shake,
you make me go crazy *

* Come, my lady,
come, come, my lady *

LAINEY: And I had a lot
of wonderful teachers around

to act as role models,

each of us with our own way
of doing things.

But we all had
the same goal...

...being there
when the kids needed us most.

GLASCOTT:
The great thing
about cloud journaling

is that
every interpretation
is valid.

That one
kind of looks like
a manatee.

Nope. You're wrong.
You're way off.

That's clearly Bob Barker
putting on a sock.

I notice you tend to see
a lot of game-show hosts.

That's not
the Bob Barker who hosts
some tacky game show.

That's the Bob Barker
who tirelessly advocates

spaying and neutering
your pets.

(CHUCKLING)
Hey, look, a butterfly.

GLASCOTT:
Wrong again.

You're not good at this.

No, over there.
You see?

It's an actual
monarch butterfly.

Aw.
Sweet little guy.

He's on his way to
meet his friends on
their journey to Mexico.

Vaya con dios, amigo!

(CROW CAWING)

Uh-oh! Crow!

Fly away, little buddy!
Use some evasive maneuvers!

Do a loopty-loop!
(CAWING CONTINUES)

Ohh.
Do...

Ohh!

He neither looptied
nor looped.

Okay,
I-I'm... I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done.

(GRUNTS)

Oh, look!

That one looks like
Alex Trebek on a snowmobile!