All language subtitles for Alice.and.Jack.S01E01.WEB

Love is the best thing we have.

Maybe after we strip away all
the bullshit,

it's the only thing we have.

Alice?

Jack?

Yes.

Hi.

Well, your picture didn't lie.

Yours is an understatement.

Well, that's on purpose.
What will you have to drink?

Macallan.

So, who are you, Jack?

Who am I? Are you nervous?

A little. Aren't you?

Why don't I concretize
the question. What do you do?

Thank you.
I am a biomedical researcher.

What do you research?

Right now, Hashimoto's disease.

Why?

Why?

Do you have Hashimoto's disease? No.

Does anyone you know
have Hashimoto's disease? No.

Then why? For the glory of perhaps
one day curing Hashimoto's disease?

Not for the glory.
No, curing it will help people.

But it won't help you.
Not directly no, but...

Or anyone you know. No, but...

So, you're a crusader.

I wouldn't say that.

You should,
cause it's really adorable.

But it's kind of
a hazy reward calculus.

What? Well, let's break it down.

What do you do after you cure
Hashimoto's disease?

There's a whole bunch of us.

Yeah, but what do you do?

I move on to something else,
I guess.

Another disease? Probably.
And then what? Another one?

On and on until I die at some point,
I suppose.

Of another disease, one you've never
even thought about.

Statistically, very likely.

Yeah, after which time,
and for all eternity,

the fact that you've cured or helped
cure Hashimoto's disease or,

you know,
potentially other diseases,

won't mean anything to you

because nothing will mean anything
to you because you'll be dead.

This is my first time using the app.
Is this how it usually goes?

What actually is
Hashimoto's disease?

It's autoimmune related.

See, I could understand devoting
your life

to biomedical research if you're
going for the glory.

Can we not say glory?

Can we say, for the feeling
of having done something good?

Like a calling?

Hmm, well... Are you religious?

I don't know yet. Are you?

So, not fame or rewards, per se,

but for a feeling of
a work well done,

of a life well-lived,
of a world in some measure improved.

And that's why you do what you do?

What do you do?

I make money.

A crystal-clear reward calculus.
The clearest.

Finance business?

Bold guess in this part of town.

Any goals beyond personal wealth?

I think of it more like
a defence fund. Like a war chest.

Who are you fighting?
People like me?

No.

Everyone else.

Do you live near here?

I work around the corner.

Are you suggesting we go
to your office?

Oh, no. No, no, sorry, I wa... No.

We'll go to my apartment.

Already?

Or we'll part as friendly
acquaintances.

Either's fine by me.

That's not a choice.

Are you awake?

Are you awake?

Are you awake?

I am now, yeah.

Hi.

I want to say this in
a way that's clear but not rude.

"Get the fuck out of here"?

Basically, yeah.

Right.

I'm sorry.

No, no, it's all good.

On to the walk of shame.

I don't know why they call it the
walk of shame. You've just had sex,

they should call it the walk of
victory. The stroll of conquest.

Yeah, they absolutely should not
call it that.

Where's my sock?

Have you done this before?

Slept with a stranger?

Dressed yourself.

I have dressed myself before, yeah.

You're great.

What?

You're kind and you're handsome.

You're a good lover.

You're wonderful.

I can see why you want me to go.

Is it always like this for you?

Is what always like what?

Never mind.

Bye.

I'll call you.

Thank you, but if it's OK with you,
I'd rather you didn't.

- I'll text you?
- Hmm.

Don't do it.

Why not?

She told you not to
and she threw you out of her flat.

As far as signals go,
those are pretty clear.

There was something in the subtext.

Don't hang your hat on
subtext, mate. Subtext is dangerous.

Subtext can get you killed.

You don't understand cos you
weren't there.

It would've been weird if I was.

That would have been weird, yeah.

Right, we can go.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Want to talk about anything?

No, thank you.

Cos we can if you want.
I am your friend.

You can't be my friend
cos you're someone I pay.

Paul?

Paul!

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Are you all right?

I thought I told you not
to bloody call.

I had a breakthrough.

Psychologically or...? No!

Er, at work.

We isolated
the Hashimoto's base pair,

so we're one step closer to a cure.

Do you want to tell me about it?

I just did.

Did you want to tell me more
about it?

Yeah.

Exchange Square, 20 minutes.

What?

I'm not sure about the beard.

No? I mean, it's handsome,
that's not the issue.

You're more or less
unbreakably handsome.

But there's just something
about it.

I didn't expect to see you tonight.

Then why did you call me?

Well, I'm not sure. I didn't really
think about it, I just did it.

Are you with anyone?

No. I've been, you know,
fine on my own.

Is it the beard?

You set kind of a high bar.

So do you.

What does one thing have
to do with the other?

The night after we were...

I happened to see you.

And I was with someone else
that night.

Mm.

Have you ever been
with the same person twice?

Tonight will be the first time.

Isn't that razor made for
legs and arm pits?

It's not like they use
a different grade of steel.

Be careful.

If I were careful
with anything in this world,

I would be careful with you.

You weren't, though.

What?

You weren't careful.

I know.

I'll try to be.

I understand that...

That this is different.

You do?

Yeah, can we stop talking about it?

What the fuck?!

Are you kidding me?

Are you working tomorrow?

It's Saturday.

Do you want to do something?

Sure.

Well, then you should
probably stay.

OK.

Good then.

Is this OK?

Yeah, it's good.

Am I like a giant squid?

No.

Your heart's beating really
fast though.

Can you feel that?

Are you OK?

I think so.

Will I give it a minute?

Yeah.

That's better.

That's good.

Jack...

Jack?

Jack?

Alice?

Alice?

Alice?

Where did you go?

I got croissants.

From where?

Franz and Evans.

Almond or plain?

One of each.

And I got lattes

and I replaced your razor.

Please don't ever do that again.

Sorry, you were just...
You were sleeping so soundly.

Also, no almond.

Is almond OK for you?

Because we can share
the plain one, if you want?

I like almond.

How is the almond?

It's very good.

How's the non-almond?

It's lovely.

Do you like that one?

It's hard, isn't it, to say whether
you like something or not

cos sometimes you're really drawn
to something but

it makes you angry or,
like, depressed?

Do you know what I mean? You're
talking about the painting right?

Yes!

Yes, not people.
Well I mean, also people...

Me, it's me, isn't it?
No, it's not you...

Good morning. Hi. Hi, there.

Have you got anything by, erm,
Emily Kirby?

Kirby?

Gosh, that name does not ring
a bell. Is she British? She is.

Living or...?
Both of those things.

Would she be in our permanent
collection

or in a visiting exhibition?

Well, you'd probably know better
than I would.

Erm, sorry, there are over 30,000
pieces in our permanent collection.

And then the visiting exhibitions
can be large also.

Mmm-hmm. Is there a database?
There absolutely is a database,

but unfortunately my terminal is
misbehaving today,

I can't access the database.

Is there a terminal that isn't
misbehaving today?

Like a terminal that might
be an example to other terminals?

Er, unfortunately...

Oh, my God, please don't say
unfortunately again.

Just say, in this
£84 million building,

there's someone who can access
the bloody database.

You know what, it's absolutely fine,
thank you very much.

It's not fine.

We should just keep wandering
and see what we see.

Oh, fuck off, Jack.

Hey.

Whatever's going on with you,
get a handle on it

and figure out a way to
be a grown-up. This isn't OK.

Yeah.

This was a mistake.
This was my mistake.

Alice.

Again the clearest instructions
I've ever read.

She should work for IKEA.

She does seem pretty cool,
though.

In an...extremely troubling way.

D'you know what my father would have
said in this situation? What?

People will usually disappoint you.

Great. He didn't say always,
he said usually.

He told me to sift through
the general population

looking for the great ones
and to be wise enough to cast aside

the disappointing ones,
despite their appeal

and without rancour.
He was actually an optimist.

I mean, look, there's seven and
a half million people in this city.

There's got to be at least

a couple of hundred thousand
of them that are lovely.

We each just have to find a great
one. I did. Not really, mate.

I mean, you've got to be able to
function with them, right?

Why are we on this boat?

Cos I needed to do
something life-affirming.

Is it working?

Nope.

What is that?

What is that?

Oh, shush, shush, shush now,
hush, hush.

Lovey?

Yep?

Who's Alice?

Alice?

Er...

Who's that? She's an ex.

O-ho-ho! She's an ex.

Oh, no. D'you wanna take it?

Nah. Nah?

OK...OK.

Yeah. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye! Come here.

Here we go, now.

I mean, do you want to switch it
off?

Or hit it with a meat hammer...?
Oh, shit, sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Lesson 116, Celia - our exes
are exes for a reason.

Ha. Yes, they are.

Oh, our breakfast is on fire,
it's fully on fire. Oh, shit.

Ohhh, OK.

Fucking hell.
Oh, Daddy's silly!

He burnt the sausages. Look at him.

Is that it totally done?

Yeah. Toast?

Plain toast? Yeah.

An "ex"?
That was the term you chose?

Yeah.

Technically accurate, I guess.

Although, just out of interest,
did "catastrophe" cross your mind?

What would you have done?
Told your new wife

and mother of your new baby,
who she happened to be burping

at the time... Disaster? Shipwreck?
Any of those?

..about some other woman
who once blew a hole in your soul?

No, I would have told her everything
on the first date

and destroyed any chance
of a relationship.

OK, well, I didn't do that.

An ex. What was Chernobyl,
a mishap?

Are you finished?

For now.

Did Alice leave a voicemail?

No.

Did you call her back? No.

Do you plan to? No.

And she'll know
what that silence means,

and she'll never call me again

and we'll all continue forward
into a very nice future

instead of backsliding into
a giant vat of pain.

I can see you're untroubled.

I'm fine.

It was a non-incident.

Right.

Except she's here.

She's always here,

she's always a presence,
I don't deny it.

No, she, she's here.

Krystelle's bringing her through.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

I didn't really eat or sleep
for months after we parted.

Which is ridiculous, I know.

No.

Yes. When the ratio of
time spent with a person

to time spent broken-hearted
over that person

is like one to 60,000,
that's a little nuts.

I'm here now.

Yeah, for the moment you're here.

You know, life eats
sensitive people, Jack.

That doesn't make them...crazy.

That's good news.

My therapist said I was nuts, so...

You went to a therapist?

Yeah. That's why I said
"my therapist".

You seem to be a little sensitive

about having gone to
a therapist there. No.

I've lived with therapists, so...
Plural?

Comically, massively, plural.

My therapists
have had to go to therapists.

I probably went to your therapist.

I have recommendations too
if you need another therapist.

It's fine. I'm fine. I got better.

You did? Good.

Yeah. How?

It was circuitous.

Where did I leave off?

You weren't eating or sleeping.

That's right. I was drinking,
though.

What I can't fathom,
broadly speaking,

is how the simple act of propagating
the species can be so problematic.

Human beings should have died out

hundreds of thousands
of years ago,

and yet here we are
in charge of everything.

Are we still having a conversation,
or am I talking to myself?

Sorry. I mean, think of how many
love songs there are.

Love poems, books about love,
movies. It's fucking pathetic.

Can you imagine how far along
we'd be as a civilisation

if we just devoted
that time and energy

into something more constructive?

Mm-hmm, I think you should listen
to your friend there.

Thank you.

I mean, it's gonna happen anyway.
People are going to fuck.

Yes, they are, and thank goodness.

I mean, love's just a dopamine rush

meant to lure us into misalliance
before,

as in the case of poor Jack here,
it wanders off,

chuckling,
to bother someone else.

So I say we wise up
and dial down the drama.

I agree. I'm Donna.

Er, I'm Paul. He's mute.

Hi, Paul. You all right, Jack?

Sorry, I am, good, yes...
He's not. He's not all right,

he's, he's broken and ruined.

I'm all right, though.
I'm fresh and clean.

I've been stood up, Jack.
May I join you?

Sorry, yeah, I'd rather you just...
Yes.

In fact I'd...
I'd hack off a limb.

Paul, did you say? It is.

They started dating.

To this day, Paul ascribes
his happiness to my depression.

Oh, he loves you. Mmm.

As I watched them,
I realised something.

Life is pretty simple
for a lot of people.

They meet someone,

they fall in love
and they're all set.

No suffering,

no gnawing your own hand
to the wrist.

And I thought, "I should try that."

Or at least, be open to
the possibility of trying that.

So the next night,
instead of reading about syphilis,

I went to see a movie
to cheer myself up.

Seven Beauties.

Seven Beauties?

I know.

Let me just be clear that

that is the Italian film
about the horrors of fascism?

Yep, that's the one.

I mean, I know that now.

I didn't then.

Sorry, are you all right?

Hey, er, yes, yeah, thank you.

Sorry, I, I...
Based on the title

I thought that was gonna be a,
a romantic comedy.

Oh, no, it was, yeah,

that's just for Nazis,
that is a romantic comedy.

Mmm.

You OK? Do you need
some air or something?

Yeah. Yeah.
What, did you genuinely not like it?

I mean, I think I hated it?

OK.

I mean, obviously I'm glad
I went to see it now, but...

Oh, that's a,
that's a nice thing to say.

Because I'm not really sure
what it means.

It means I'm glad to meet you.

Oh, God, sorry. Er, I was,
I was talking about the film.

Sorry.

Er, but I, I think
what the director is saying,

she says that, er,

it should make emotional
rather than logical sense. So...

That's all the best things, maybe.

Yeah. Maybe.
All I know is that it just,

it just reaches into my chest
and moves my lungs around.

I just, I love it.

Hey. Er...

Are you hungry? Or thirsty?

Or in need of anything
that Sclater Street can provide?

Er...

That's...very Jack.

I was nervous.

I'm not judging.

You just judged.

And, it worked, by the way.
Ooh! Hmm. Did it? Yeah.

Bravo.

I mean, yeah.

Do you think Swedish people fart
as much as regular people?

If I had to guess, like, I'd say no.

But I guess there's no way
to know for sure.

Funny bunch.

Do you think we'll ever
forgive ourselves?

I don't think it's our fault.

Yeah, that's not what I asked you.

Er, do you think this is gonna,
gonna ruin things between us?

No.

Like, we're brand-new, Jack. You
know, relationships are hard enough.

I have heard that. Yeah.

Er, if it does though,
like, if it did...

..ruin things between us, I just...

Thank you for how glad
you've made me.

Cos it had been a while, you know...

So, yeah.

That'll teach me, huh?

Do you think we should...
discuss the alternatives?

There aren't any good ones.

I mean, would you consider
having a child outside of marriage?

No. Oh, my God, sorry,
I know that sounds...

really...but...

No, it's just not the life
I imagined. Look, I'm sorry.

Me neither.

So, what are you talking about,
then? Adoption?

No. I don't think I could function

knowing I had a child out in the
world that I wasn't taking care of.

Yeah, no, of course you couldn't.
Neither could I.

So, like, we have
the alternatives discussed.

I mean, do you think...

Do you think we should discuss

the alternative
to those alternatives?

No?

Oh, my God. Marriage?

No...No. No?

Jack. Jesus, are you
out of your mind?

I barely know you. I don't even know
your middle name. Cyril.

What? No? Seriously?

It's not Cyril.
I don't have a middle name.

Well, there you go.
I didn't know that.

That's my point.
We'd find things out.

Jack. OK. Look, I know
this is probably crazy...

Yeah.

This is definitely crazy... Yes.

OK? I haven't totally
thought this through. No, really?

Yeah, but if you...

If you had asked me,
when I was growing up,

what the person
that I would one day marry...

..would look like
and sound like and,

and be like...

..I would've said someone
just like you.

You barely know me.

You know, at this stage I'm just
like an outline of a person,

I'm just a sketch.

It's a pretty good sketch.

All I'm asking is in the 28 hours
between now and the thing,

that we not rule it out completely
and officially.

Cyril.

And is she?

She is.

And it's not the worst thing in
the world to be happy, you know.

I don't know,
but I will provisionally agree.

You know, I feel very lucky
to have found Lynn.

And to have been found.

We throw away our blessings
at our peril. What happened then?

Well....I called you.

And when you didn't answer
or respond,

I took it to mean that we would
never be in contact again.

Oh, so you married someone else
because I didn't answer the phone?

No.

But I took it as proof that I was
making the right decision.

Confirmation.

What are you thinking?

I wanted a great and stupid romance.

You know,
I always thought there'd be one.

Maybe it's just beginning?

No, this is backwards.

OK, so it's backwards.

OK, then, Cyril,
is there anything I should know?

Like what?

I mean, I wouldn't ask if I knew,
would I?

Nothing that matters now.

I know this isn't ideal,
by any means, but...

..wasn't it the Rolling Stones
who said, "We can't let the perfect

"be the enemy of the very good?"

Absolutely not, no.
Oh, God. That was Voltaire.

Voltaire said that? Yes.

Did the, did the Rolling Stones
say it also? No. No?

They said, "You can't always
get what you want." Quite famously.

That's probably
what I'm thinking of.

I mean, you realise this child
would have an English accent.

There's worse things.

Like what?

I can't think of any.

Is this a yes?

Well, I mean, you've swept me off
my feet, haven't you?

And eight months later,
Celia was born.

And who thought of the name?

I think I did. Why?

Just curious.

Look, I'm sorry I called you, Jack.

I'm sorry I turned up like this.

I think that I just thought that

your life had just stood still
without me.

Because mine...

..had sort of stood still
without you.

And, er...

I may have to just grow up
at some point.

Why did you want to see me?

Was it just to say hello?

My mam passed away on Thursday
of cirrhosis of the liver.

Brought on by a lifetime of me dad.

And just...

..seeing him is...

..one of the many, many things
I can't imagine facing without you.

But I will.

I'm happy for you.