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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:08,758 Hey, bud. 2 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,218 Brought you some decaf hazelnut anti-matter. 3 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,966 Just a little treat for my ol' pal, the Doorman. 4 00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,639 Headin' back down, by the way... Ahem. 5 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,539 You sure the Judge is OK with you going back to Earth so many times? 6 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,896 Oh, yeah, all good. See? 7 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,731 Still got the papers. 8 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:26,943 Shouldn't be long. 9 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,203 How are we doing, Steve? 10 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,203 I'm trying, I'm getting close. 11 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,873 Good, no pressure. 12 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,077 A-ha! 13 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,958 Someone just went down to Earth 14 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,461 and that gave me a back door to the Judge's system. 15 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,300 Now we can see everything that's happening with all four humans. 16 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,754 Excellent work, Steve. 17 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,389 Uh-oh, looks like someone's been cocooning again. 18 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,089 You know, it would be a real help if you let me know the next time you're about to... 19 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,395 Well, well, well... 20 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,653 looks like Michael's been caught with his hand in the human jar. 21 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,821 - Good one, boss! - Shut up, Glenn! 22 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,660 Morning, Teach! 23 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:28,244 Ready to discuss philosophy! 24 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,880 Obviously, I'm kidding, how was your date with Simone? 25 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,049 Spill it, sweetheart. 26 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,543 We had a great time. Thank you, again 27 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,673 for bullying me into asking her out. 28 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,046 Well, I owed it to you. 29 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:42,809 And, bonus, I realised I was practising virtue ethics 30 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,681 by helping the two of you bone down. 31 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,389 OK, not appropriate, also not a great understanding of virtue ethics. 32 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,927 - Well, we can agree to disagree. - But, if you must know... 33 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,403 it was very chaste, we didn't even kiss. 34 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:57,152 - Because you chickened out? - I did, yeah! 35 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,531 I totally chickened out and I am so mad at myself. 36 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:01,746 Well, hey... 37 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,537 Maybe it wasn't the right moment. 38 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,582 Knowing the two of you nerds, your first kiss is gonna be 39 00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,081 while reading Plato in an MRI machine. 40 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,130 Oh, hang on. 41 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:14,759 Come with me. 42 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,136 Simone, what's the one thing Eleanor and I have in common? 43 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,366 You both have a complete disregard for my office hours? 44 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:21,790 - Sorry, Reginald. - Ah, no worries. 45 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,182 Look, listen, Eleanor is 46 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,600 - an Arizona trash bag... - Yep. 47 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:25,872 - Her words, not mine. - Totally. 48 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,728 Who has a complete disregard for ethics 49 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,834 and once told me that her greatest accomplishment was 50 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,474 breaking into Charles Barkley's house. 51 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:34,978 Mm, he was on the road, I snuck in through the doggy door 52 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,859 tried on all his giant shoes... 53 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,530 One of my top five Christmases. 54 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,491 Listen, the point is... 55 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:43,369 Eleanor and I have nothing in common 56 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:47,074 except that we both almost died and it made us want to be better people. 57 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:48,908 This is my thesis idea. 58 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:52,500 I will explore the effect of near death experiences 59 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,205 on ethical decision making. 60 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,463 I will get a group of people together who have had near death experiences 61 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,386 ask them ethical questions and see if there's any commonality. 62 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:01,597 That's great. 63 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,301 Why are you yelling it at me? 64 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:07,807 Because I need your help! You and your magic brain scan machine. 65 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,770 Oh, of course! 66 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,938 A joint study with the neuroscience department. 67 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,982 We can use MRI mapping to see if 68 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,755 a near death experience alters brain function. 69 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,215 There's something there, right? 70 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,446 Definitely, I love this. 71 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,176 Great. Also, I wanted to kiss you last night 72 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,469 but I chickened out, so I'm gonna kiss you now. 73 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,733 Good, yes, I want that, please. 74 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,116 Oh, sorry Reginald. 75 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,294 - What were you saying? - Um, that I can't come to class tomorrow 76 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,461 cos my grandma died. 77 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,756 Ouf! 78 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,585 Real mood ruiner! 79 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,587 Read the room, dude! 80 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,475 Bingo! 81 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,229 OK. 82 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,563 Oh, good, you're here. 83 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:57,359 Eleanor, meet the newest member of our ethical neuroscientific study 84 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,446 Tahani Al-Jamil. 85 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,231 Hello, Eleanor. Delighted to meet you. 86 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,701 Al-Jamil, oh... you're Camila's sister! 87 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:06,869 I am, yes. 88 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,948 If you want an autograph or something, I can probably arrange it. 89 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,907 Eh, I was never really that into her. 90 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,002 No offence. 91 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:17,380 Oh, I assure you, there is none taken. 92 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,007 So, how did you come to join our team? 93 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:23,386 Well, it's a bit of a story, I suppose. 94 00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,713 It began about a year ago. 95 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,858 Well done, Tahani. 96 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,361 Who saved me? 97 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,487 Did anyone see who just saved my life? 98 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:44,111 - It was Camila! - No, it was a man, I think. 99 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,201 It was Camila! 100 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:48,282 - Camila! - No, it wasn't Camila! 101 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,949 It was someone over there. 102 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,037 Camila! Camila! Camila! 103 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,666 I had almost died. 104 00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,959 In that very moment 105 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,296 I decided to change my life. 106 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:07,509 First I cleansed myself of all the worldly possessions that had been weighing me down 107 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:11,809 like anchors: the dresses, the jewels. I gave them all to good Will. 108 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:15,722 That's what I call Prince William. Since he'd married a commoner I... 109 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,024 assumed he knew some needy people they could go to. 110 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,028 Sure. 111 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,773 Then I deleted all my celebrity contacts from my mobile. 112 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,114 Goodbye, Bono. 113 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,534 Goodbye, The Edge. 114 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,572 Goodbye, The Edge's real phone number that even Bono doesn't have. 115 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:37,369 And most importantly, I put physical distance between me and my old life. 116 00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:39,165 Book me a flight to Tibet. 117 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,126 I'm going to live in a Buddhist monastery. 118 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,915 I need to get out of the spotlight. 119 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,046 Copy that, I'll see what jets are available. 120 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,511 No, I'm flying commercial. 121 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,884 - OK, first class, I assume? - No. 122 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,467 I'm a woman of the people now. 123 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,596 Comfort plus. 124 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:01,567 And there, in that humble monastery 125 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,484 thousands of miles from the meaningless concerns of high society. 126 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,657 I embarked upon a quest for enlightenment. 127 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,495 I learned to embrace a life of simplicity. 128 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,248 I meditated. 129 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,203 I worked. 130 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,710 I gave back to Mother Earth 131 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,879 and I slept. 132 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,921 My soul had never felt so nourished. 133 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:30,050 Until one day, my former life came knocking at the open space 134 00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:33,383 where a door would have been if we were given any privacy. 135 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:34,643 Yo! 136 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,386 Is that Tahani Al-Jamil? 137 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:38,312 Man, it totes is you. 138 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,648 What up, I'm Colby, Squalor News. 139 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,106 What are you doing in this monastery? 140 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:47,484 Oh, we're doing a new show about poverty, drug lords, gun running 141 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:50,775 weird ass restaurants, skateboarding and... oh, and also genocide. 142 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,326 It's called "Society Is Effed". 143 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,848 What are you doing here, though? 144 00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:56,112 Is this where you came after your sister saved your life? 145 00:06:56,666 --> 00:07:01,252 I am living here as a way to shed my desire for attention. 146 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,129 "Toight!" That's what's up. You gotta shed that, right? 147 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,022 But listen If you ever want us to do like 148 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:08,964 a monster profile on you and your monk junk 149 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,631 would be honoured AF. 150 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:14,762 I think people would be "supes" interested in what you're doing here. For real. 151 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,051 Look, here's my card. Think about it. 152 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,597 Of course I never called him to do that profile 153 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:24,525 because I didn't pursue a life of tranquillity to get in front of a camera. 154 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,191 I did it to get out of the spotlight. 155 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,856 And that's what my book is about. 156 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,402 Shedding your need for validation from others. 157 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:43,624 Publisher says you'll hit two million copies sold by next week. 158 00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:48,044 Your "Five Hundred Eighty-Two Questions With" video was nominated for a BAFTA. 159 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,251 - Oh, that's fun. - Also, they want you for Oprah. 160 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,880 - Oprah's off the air. - No, they want you to take over for Oprah. 161 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,885 Also this investor wants to meet you. 162 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,592 I checked him out, he's legit. 163 00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,645 Tahani! 164 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,311 Gordon Indigo. 165 00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:04,523 I just have to say, you are so inspiring. 166 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:05,693 Aw... 167 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,977 - Namaste. - I mean... 168 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,063 you really have all these idiots fooled. 169 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,407 - Excuse me? - Listen. 170 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:15,072 I'm sure you're already rolling in dough from this incredible scam 171 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:16,993 but have you thought about merch? 172 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,808 Because we could, uh... we could partner here. 173 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,917 I made a fortune selling Nirvana orbs which is to say... 174 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,833 driving range golf balls that I painted silver. 175 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,965 - That's awful! - No, it's healing! 176 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:31,838 Wink! 177 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,420 I mean, you should be selling candles 178 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,214 prayer robes, meditation gum... 179 00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:39,053 whatever crap you can think of 180 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,352 - cos these people will buy it. - That is quite enough. 181 00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:43,846 And how dare you insinuate that I'm not authentic. 182 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,334 I've finished signing your headshots. 183 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,520 - Oh! Not now! - Miss Al-Jamil 184 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:48,980 it's OK. 185 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,731 You and I are the same. 186 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,696 I love what you're doing here. 187 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,607 You get to be rich and famous. 188 00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:57,489 And not have to do any of the work of helping people. 189 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,533 But I am helping people. 190 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,202 - You need to go, right now. - Suit yourself. 191 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,624 Look, if you change your mind, I'm online. 192 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:08,330 Just google, "Crystals that prevent erectile dysfunction." 193 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:12,504 I'm sorry, but Miss Al-Jamil doesn't have time 194 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:16,424 to participate in an "ethical study" at some random university. 195 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:21,058 If you want to meet her, you can sign up for the "Get Out of the Spotlight" cruise 196 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,057 with special guests Deepak Chopra and Will.I.Am... 197 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,149 Hello? 198 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,315 This is Tahani Al-Jamil. 199 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,672 Oh, uh, hi. I didn't think I'd actually get you. 200 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,608 My name is Chidi Anagonye 201 00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:38,033 and I'm doing an academic study on near-death experiences 202 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,451 and ethical decision-making. 203 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:42,113 - I read an article about you... - Will it help people? 204 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,535 That's all I want to know. Will this help people? 205 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,076 Yes, I... I, I think so. I mean... 206 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,920 - that's the goal. - Send me the info. 207 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,873 I'll be there tomorrow morning. 208 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,255 Wow. 209 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,379 How had you learned about me, I wonder? 210 00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:02,057 A professor I'd never heard of named Charles Brainman 211 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,557 sent me an article about you, said you'd be perfect for our study. 212 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,471 Well, welcome to Australia! 213 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,185 Oh, if you need a place to crash 214 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,733 while you get settled, my motel has a pull-out sofa. 215 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,771 Although, as I say that, and I look at you and your whole thing 216 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,949 realise that's absurd, and you should probably just get your own place. 217 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,619 Yes, I... I think that's, uh... best. 218 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,283 - But... but thank you! - Mm-hm. 219 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:28,958 Three down. 220 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:31,249 One to go. 221 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,468 'Sup, bud! 222 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:37,877 I've been lookin' for you! 223 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,679 - Oh, sorry, are these your rocks? - No. 224 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,094 Look, my name is Zack Pizazz 225 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,846 international talent scout. 226 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:48,099 I've been tracking your dance troupe, man. 227 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,771 I think you really got the goods! 228 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:51,773 I want you to come on down to Australia 229 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,606 and start a new crew. Alright, I'll pay for everything. 230 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,590 May have a few other obligations, but basically... 231 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:59,072 Uh, thanks, but no thanks, man. 232 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,448 I'm done with dancing. 233 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,362 But... wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa... you... you heard what my name was, right? 234 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,582 - Zack Pizazz? - My life is just kinda messed up right now. 235 00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,209 I had a really tough year. 236 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,505 I'm sorry. 237 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,836 I'm sorry. Want to talk about it? I'm a pretty good listener. 238 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,551 Well, my year... 239 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,842 started about a year ago. 240 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,351 Pillboi? I can't breathe and I'm freaking out and I'm almost out of whip-its! 241 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:31,939 - Pillboi! - Buongiorno! Buongiorno! 242 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,982 Yo! What happened? 243 00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,780 I couldn't breathe. The snorkel must have been broken! 244 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,325 Yo, that sucks! 245 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,694 - You ready to get back in there? - No, man! 246 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,329 We're not doing this no more. 247 00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,786 I almost died trying to rob a Mexican restaurant. 248 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,126 I have to change my life. 249 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,000 I know what I'm gonna do. 250 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,344 I'm gonna win this dance competition. 251 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,685 So you didn't see any other posters there? 252 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:10,848 No, don't think so, why? 253 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,771 It doesn't matter, continue. 254 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:16,017 Homies, I almost died yesterday. 255 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,435 But we've been given a second chance. 256 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:23,741 Three months from today, on this very stage, in the Carmen Electra Auditorium 257 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,115 right here at the Smith & Wesson Performing Arts Centre 258 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,571 and "A.T.V." Repair Shop 259 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,156 we are going to win this... 260 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,250 dance competition. 261 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,168 How? You ask. 262 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:40,879 By working. We are going to eat, breathe, and vape dance. 263 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,798 I want you thinking about dance 24/7. 264 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,596 That means every day you think 20 thoughts about dance 265 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,636 for seven minutes. 266 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,599 And if you can't promise me that you'll give this dance crew everything that you've got 267 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,596 then you can walk out that door... 268 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,894 right now. 269 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,610 - Yep, OK. I'm out. - What? 270 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,356 Come on, Donkey Doug! After all we've been through? 271 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:07,534 Listen, you know you're my boy, but this sounds like a lotta work. Good luck. 272 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:10,998 Pew pew! 273 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,245 Donkey Doug out! 274 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,662 Damn. That's a tough blow. 275 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,464 But, now that those guys are no longer members of our crew 276 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,713 we can legally rob their houses! 277 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,424 No, Li'l Peanut! We're gonna do this the right way. 278 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,970 No more crime! And if you don't like that, you can walk out that door... 279 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,227 right now. 280 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,689 Wh...? Gah... Come on... 281 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,064 We still got like thirty-five people, so... 282 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,353 let's get to work. 283 00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:45,523 Quick announcement. 284 00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,860 Will the owner of a 1998 Toyota Tercel 285 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,536 with golden pythons painted on both sides 286 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:55,081 license plate "GOT MILF" please see an usher? 287 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,117 Your car has exploded. 288 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,067 Alright, y'all ready for the next act? 289 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:03,757 Please give it up right now for "Dance Dance Resolution!" 290 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,108 In the six-year history of this competition 291 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,533 no crew has ever received a perfect score from our judges. 292 00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:31,072 That changed tonight. 293 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:34,072 But before we get to that, "Dance Dance Resolution" 294 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,451 has been disqualified. 295 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,408 What? No! 296 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:40,912 - Why? - Because you have 40 people on stage. 297 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:42,625 The limit is eight. 298 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,966 Also one of your members tried to carjack me on my way in here. 299 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:47,793 No, that was Donkey Doug 300 00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:51,005 and he's not a part of our crew anymore. We win. We win. 301 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,637 We win! We win! We win! 302 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,719 No, again, you are disqualified. 303 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,054 And the winner is... 304 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,147 "Panther Blood"! 305 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,145 And the winner is... 306 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,318 "Suck Monsters". 307 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,980 And the winner is... 308 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:12,109 Nobody. All teams are disqualified, due to violence. 309 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,995 OK, well... 310 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,327 We're out of rent money, so... 311 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,912 remember that thing I said about "no more crime"? 312 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:22,919 That's over now, go do crime. 313 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,083 - Yeah, he just confessed to the robbery. - Dammit! 314 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:28,135 That was easy! 315 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,593 Look, please let me go. 316 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:32,387 I only did it to pay rent for my dance crew's rehearsal space. 317 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:33,889 Oh, well then you're in luck. 318 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,808 We only arrest people for robbery if they don't have a reason. 319 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,147 Sorry it took me so long to bail you out. 320 00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,189 Nah, it was my fault. 321 00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,476 I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank the police department. 322 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,904 Man, a year ago I almost died 323 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,235 and I'm exactly the same as I was before. 324 00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,068 - A failure. - You're not a failure. 325 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,698 You're a dreamer. 326 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,663 Look, I like my job at the old folks home. 327 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,491 Those old biddies are sweet 328 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:03,494 and sometimes they give me what they think are candy 329 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,666 but are really loose Vicodin. 330 00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:10,126 But when I'm with you, I feel like the sky's the limit. 331 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:14,425 I feel like someday I'll be able to buy my own Vicodin. 332 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:19,222 And it'll never turn out to actually be laxatives. 333 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,855 Thanks, dawg. But if my life ended today 334 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:24,605 what would my legacy be? 335 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,690 Sure, I did a wheelie on a dirt bike through an entire Waffle House... 336 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,982 and I was once interviewed on the news for finding a foot on the beach 337 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:37,319 but, yo, other than that I have no truly great accomplishments. 338 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,830 Bro... 339 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,622 Bro, I'm only saying this because I love you. 340 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,122 Do you want a Vicodin right now? 341 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,038 So I walked out of that bar 342 00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:49,919 came down to this wharf 343 00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,591 threw a rock at a snake 344 00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,885 met a guy named Zack Pizazz 345 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,020 talked to him about my crazy year that I've had 346 00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,306 which started when I was locked in a safe... 347 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,553 No, that was me. 348 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,059 I'm Zack Pizazz. 349 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,436 - We're caught up now. - Oh, yeah. 350 00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:05,890 A year ago, if you had asked me 351 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,690 to run a dance crew in Atlantis... 352 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,315 - Australia. - I would have said "yes", for sure. 353 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,948 But now, and I know this sounds crazy... 354 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,694 but I'm starting to think there might be more to life 355 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:21,405 than amateur street dancing competitions. 356 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,201 It's funny, but I know exactly what you mean. 357 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:29,835 My goal in life used to be completely different too. 358 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:35,503 I used to rep this crew called... "The Demons." 359 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,838 - Wow. - I remember you guys! 360 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:41,306 Didn't you all die when someone brought a hammerhead shark into your hot tub? 361 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,055 Different demons. 362 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:47,060 The point is, I had to leave my old crew behind 363 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:50,108 you know, but I met new friends, who helped me become... 364 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,145 a better person. 365 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:57,566 Look, I know this group of people who are also searching for meaning. 366 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,270 They might be able to help you find what you're looking for. 367 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,181 What do you think? You wanna meet them? 368 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,323 Yeah, that sounds great. 369 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,455 Do we have to leave right now? 370 00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,337 My friend gave me a pill that I realised one second ago 371 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,835 was definitely a laxative... 372 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,507 No, go, go! 373 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:20,013 Well, that is the last time I'll need to head back down there. 374 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,593 So, to thank you for your help 375 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,763 I brought you back something from Earth. 376 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,927 A little token of my appreciation. 377 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:30,520 It keeps your anti-matter warmer, for longer! 378 00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,689 - It's a frog! - Yeah. 379 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,566 - There's a frog on it. - Yeah. 380 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:40,700 Right there, it's a frog! 381 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:43,449 Oh, man, it's great. It's classic. 382 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,200 Oh, this guy's a jumper, you can tell. 383 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,241 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 384 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,747 Wow, that... really went over big. 385 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,876 How's Jason? Is he still cute? 386 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,257 - Uh... he looks about the same. - That's sounds cute. 387 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,131 - Hi, guys. - Oh... 388 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,056 - Hey. - Long time no see. 389 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,471 - Yeah. - How's it going? 390 00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,012 So good. I mean, everything is going according to plan 391 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,768 and nothing is going differently from the plan. 392 00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,358 Yes, that's a very not weird way to put it. 393 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:15,819 - I'm just stretching my legs. - Oh. 394 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:19,447 Just binged like 300 episodes of NCIS 395 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,988 - Ooh! - You know, I'm not a human woman 396 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,995 that Mark Harmon can "get it". 397 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,225 You know what I'm sayin'? 398 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:29,616 Speaking of human cutie pies, how's that Chidi doing? 399 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,118 Oh, sorry, Judge. Let me just... 400 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,044 Oh, hey! You know what you would love 401 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:34,483 - if you like Mark Harmon? - Uh-huh? 402 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:37,671 "Stealing Home". He is very sexy in "Stealing Home" 403 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,697 according to the private thoughts of more than seven million Caucasian women. 404 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,429 Oh, hot tip! Thanks y'all. 405 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:45,010 - You guys wanna come with? - Ooh... 406 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,639 We can watch together, I can whip up some nachos... 407 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,932 I am incapable of eating, so... 408 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,139 Suit yourselves, party poopers. 409 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,585 Huh, party poopers! 410 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,209 I guess it'll be just me and Mark, then. 411 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,816 Naughty, naughty! 412 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:02,566 Oh, boy. Michael, we almost just got busted. 413 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,655 Yeah, but we didn't and more importantly... 414 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,279 Jason just arrived in Australia. 415 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:11,075 The four of them are finally together. Oh, we did it, Janet. 416 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:12,419 We got away with it. 417 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,414 So, this is our MRI machine. 418 00:20:17,508 --> 00:20:18,715 Oh, don't... don't touch that. 419 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,085 Each of you will get a chance in here eventually. 420 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,135 Hopefully, none of you's claustrophobic? 421 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,715 Claws-naphobic? Who would ever be scared of Santa Claus? 422 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,517 Oh, the Jewish. 423 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,895 You from Florida? 424 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:32,638 - Jacksonville. - Yeah! 425 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,106 That should be fine for me. It's roughly the same size 426 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,684 as Nicole Kidman's cryogenic anti-aging chamber 427 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:39,538 and I've never had a problem in there, so... 428 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,072 I'll be OK, too. 429 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,233 It kinda reminds me of the home tanning booth I lost my virginity in. 430 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,236 Wow. I cannot wait to take a look at these three brains. 431 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:51,407 Oh, forgot to mention. There's one more person who will be joining us. 432 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,700 Seems like a really interesting guy. 433 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,754 He was almost run over by a train a few months ago 434 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,638 heard about the study, emailed me last night. 435 00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,169 This doesn't make any sense. 436 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,843 They're all there. 437 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,546 What's going on? 438 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:07,682 Oh, no. 439 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,851 - What is it? - Something bad, Janet, something 440 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:13,938 very dark... 441 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,232 and evil. 442 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,479 Oh, yes. Come on in. 443 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:19,778 Everyone... 444 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,399 - this is Trevor. - Hey, guys. 445 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,940 It is so great to meet you. 34682

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