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1
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I still believe that they
would've become good people
2
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:12,093
if they'd just gotten a push
in the right direction.
3
00:00:13,889 --> 00:00:14,970
Oh, no!
4
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,557
It's only four people,
and it's clearly the best way to see
5
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,435
if bad people can become good
without knowing anything
6
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,346
about what's waiting for them
in the afterlife.
7
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:27,479
- OK, let's do it.
- Yes!
8
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:31,233
But there have to be strict rules.
Otherwise, the results will be tainted.
9
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:35,279
And I reserve the right to change
my mind at any point.
10
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,993
Would someone who's not an eternal being
please explain to me
11
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,121
what the f...
12
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,809
Hi. I'm Michael.
13
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:12,440
You must be the Doorman?
14
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:15,825
Ah!
15
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,401
This is wild.
16
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,694
Had no idea this was even here.
17
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:23,532
So, I have this ruling
from the Judge...
18
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,334
heading on down to Earth to reverse
the deaths of these four people.
19
00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:30,209
It's kinda tricky, you know,
it starts up a new timeline
20
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,835
so there might be some ripple effects
21
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:35,468
but it's necessary, for the...
the experiment that we're doing there.
22
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:38,968
So how long does this trip take?
23
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,719
Hope I don't get a middle seat.
24
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,558
Wow.
25
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,557
I haven't heard a joke
in 8,000 years.
26
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,139
And I still haven't.
27
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,858
That's the door to Earth.
28
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,403
Go through there,
you'll be wherever you need to be.
29
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,924
You won't have any other powers, though.
30
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,719
You wanna get around, you're just gonna
have to take a bus or something.
31
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,779
A bus?
32
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,694
Oh, boy!
33
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,370
Oh, man, I'm gonna sit
in a front-facing seat!
34
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:06,078
Or no, no,
m-maybe a sideways-facing seat!
35
00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:08,205
I'm... I'm gonna get
so motion-sick!
36
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,786
Oh, man!
37
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,691
What do I do, just grab
the key here...?
38
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:12,715
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
39
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:17,927
This key is made of the very first atoms
that came into existence in the universe.
40
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:21,890
It is one of a kind,
and cannot be duplicated. See?
41
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,309
"Do not duplicate."
42
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,478
Only I touch this key.
43
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,931
And... and what's the significance
of the keychain?
44
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:32,058
Nothing. I just like frogs.
45
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,230
I'm a frog guy.
46
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:38,319
When you need to get back here,
make sure you're alone, press this button.
47
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,026
Any questions? No? Great.
48
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,782
Knock yourself out.
49
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,002
Uh-oh.
50
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,076
I-I'm sorry, but this is an important moment
in our friendship...
51
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,327
On your right, mate!
52
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,512
Geez! Watch it, man!
53
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,514
Come down to the ground
where you belong!
54
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,977
Buongiorno!
55
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,149
Buongiorno!
56
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,448
Oh, wow!
57
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,780
I was just on Earth!
58
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,414
It was incredible!
59
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,876
The-the traffic... the pigeons!
60
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,542
And I saw this place that was at once
a Pizza Hut
61
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,214
and a Taco Bell!
62
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:41,298
I mean, oh... the mind reels!
63
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:46,428
A Pizza Hut and
a Taco Bell! Ah!
64
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:55,899
Oh, Janet, it was everything
I ever imagined.
65
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,272
I got to ride a bike.
66
00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,234
I put a coin in a thing
and got a gumball.
67
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,408
And then someone came up to me and said,
"Hot enough for ya?"
68
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,535
And you know what I said?
69
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,277
I said, "Tell me about it."
70
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,780
While I am glad
that you got to chew a gumball...
71
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,243
Oh, damn.
72
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,499
I didn't even think to chew it.
73
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,994
Missed opportunity. Shoot.
74
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,045
...did you also save their lives?
75
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,465
Yes, of course. Everyone is safe.
76
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:21,302
Including Jason.
77
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:26,214
Now, just sit back
and watch as they become better people.
78
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,016
Being good is for suckers!
79
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,059
What do you even get out of it? I quit.
80
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,221
Eat my farts, Benedict Cumberbatch.
81
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,396
Morning, Chidi!
Blueberry muffin for ya?
82
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,647
Uh... I-I don't know.
83
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:39,737
Maybe. I can't decide.
84
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,521
- You alright there, mate?
- OK.
85
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:42,907
I've made my decision.
86
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:44,941
I want to...
87
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,234
start crying!
88
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:58,208
Hey, Tahani Al-Jamil.
I'm from International Sophisticate Magazine.
89
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,464
Mind if we ask you 582 questions?
90
00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:01,628
Sounds delightful!
91
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,376
Where are we, exactly?
92
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,463
My pied-à-terre,
just off the coast of Barcelona.
93
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,927
What's one thing
people don't know about you?
94
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,555
That I was such a tomboy in high school.
95
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:12,770
See?
96
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,392
Wow! Looking good! OK, next question.
97
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,566
Who would you say is the most famous person
in your phone?
98
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,441
It's not about "who you know."
Enlightenment comes from within.
99
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,986
The Dalai Lama texted me that.
100
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,739
Kay, will you make me the happiest man
in the world
101
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,498
and agree to be my wife?
102
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,460
No.
103
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,500
Do you think my name is the letter "K"?
104
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,465
Just say yes! If we're married,
legally you can't arrest me.
105
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,963
Plus, bonus, you get half the stuff I stole!
106
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,677
Yeah, he just confessed to the robbery.
107
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,056
Dammit!
108
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:56,183
You realise what the problem is, right?
109
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,930
Yes, but there's no way to help.
110
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:03,737
Maybe there is.
111
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,490
In the afterlife, they all got better
because they helped each other.
112
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,948
And the key to that
was Chidi and Eleanor's connection.
113
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,575
If I get the two of them together,
everything else will follow.
114
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,956
- Michael, no...
- I'm gonna meet Eleanor someplace
115
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:19,711
and plant the idea in her mind
that she needs to find Chidi.
116
00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,753
Oh, and then maybe I'll visit Chidi
117
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,085
and make sure that he helps her
when she shows up.
118
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,862
I'm just gonna nudge
the two of them together.
119
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,002
Just nudgey-nudge-nudge.
120
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:29,462
The Judge was pretty clear
in her instructions
121
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:32,390
and the Judge is, you know, the Judge
122
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,643
of, you know, The Universe.
123
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,102
She'll never find out.
124
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:40,556
She spends all her time in her chambers
bingeing TV shows.
125
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,017
She's watching all of "N.C.I.S." right now!
126
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,488
Hey, there.
127
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,194
Need to head on back to Earth.
128
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,025
Hm. Travel papers?
129
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:54,533
Yeah. You know, the, uh... Judge said
to use the same ones.
130
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,828
Cos I'm, um, you know,
visiting the same people.
131
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,335
Yeah, oh yeah... I almost forgot.
Brought you a nice hot cup of anti-matter.
132
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,459
I usually only drink decaf anti-matter.
133
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,210
- Ah.
- Eh, I'll take it.
134
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,593
It's only 4:30.
135
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,878
- My shift doesn't end till nine billion.
- Oof!
136
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,015
What do I owe ya?
137
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,344
The real question, Eleanor...
138
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,017
is "what do we owe to each other?"
139
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,016
What do we owe
to each other?
140
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,270
That is the question Tim Scanlon
asked decades ago
141
00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:28,271
and it is the question I will try
to answer over the next three hours.
142
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,984
Are you Chidi Anna...
143
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,241
Kendrick?
144
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,946
Anagonye. And yes.
145
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,449
Great. Hi. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop.
146
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,040
Can we talk?
147
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:39,917
Sure.
148
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,830
OK. Uh, where do I start?
149
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,746
I'm not, like, the best person in the world.
150
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,756
I'm a trash bag from Arizona
151
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,292
which is saying something.
152
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:52,003
Our biggest exports are racist sheriffs
and HPV.
153
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,596
But about a year ago,
something crazy happened
154
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,015
and I...
155
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,099
- T'es prêt, Chidi?
- Allez-y sans moi.
156
00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,594
- Je serai là.
- D'accord.
157
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:00,688
A tout à l'heure.
158
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,394
Sorry, I've been flying for like 40 hours.
159
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,316
This is Australia, right?
160
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,820
Yes, I grew up in Senegal,
so my native language is French
161
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,824
but I went to American schools,
so I also speak English.
162
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,696
- Oh...
- And German, and Greek
163
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,028
and Latin, just in case it ever comes back.
164
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,324
Cool. I once got 12 out of 12
on a BuzzFeed quiz called
165
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,876
"Do You Know All the Slang Words
the Kardashians Invented?"
166
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,828
- Congratulations?
- Thank you.
167
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,875
I'm gonna be honest, I did cheat.
168
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:29,652
But you were saying something crazy
happened to you?
169
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,794
Yes! Uh, I almost died.
170
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,262
And it made me want to become
a better person
171
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,968
Which I did, for a while
172
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,892
but then I fell back into my old
trash bag ways...
173
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,520
but yesterday I saw your lecture,
and something just clicked.
174
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:47,934
Wait, you flew all the way here
from Arizona, just to see me?
175
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,061
You know what, don't flatter yourself, pal!
176
00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:53,569
Sorry, that's a knee jerk reaction.
Yes, that's exactly what I did.
177
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,909
And I know that seems "zonkatronic"
178
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,281
that's Khloe's word for "crazy"
179
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:03,541
but I need someone to help guide me,
morally speaking
180
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:06,999
and... I think I need it to be you.
181
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:08,336
What do you say?
182
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,214
Will you help me become a good person?
183
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:15,971
Yes.
184
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:27,056
I'll start you off with some introductory
philosophy books
185
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,517
- and then we'll meet here once a week?
- Great!
186
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,315
- Can I ask you something?
- Mm-hm.
187
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,605
Why are you helping me?
188
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,657
I'm a teacher. That's my job.
189
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:39,201
Yeah, but I'm not your student.
190
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,155
I'm just some hot rando
who walked in off the street.
191
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,031
There's gotta be another reason.
192
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,417
Yes, there is. Um...
193
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,253
I also had a near-death experience.
194
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,942
- Whoa.
- But, I mean, I don't know for sure
195
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:54,424
that I would've died,
but it was pretty nuts...
196
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,198
I-I'm sorry, but this is an important moment
in our friendship...
197
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:58,491
On your right, mate!
198
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,596
Geez, watch it, man!
199
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,884
Oh, my God!
Are you OK?
200
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,516
That... that is right
where I was standing!
201
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:09,432
I was frozen here,
unable to make a simple decision
202
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,355
and I almost got crushed
by an air conditioner.
203
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,728
This is a sign.
204
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,321
I shouldn't be
using air conditioners!
205
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,153
The Freon is awful
for the environment!
206
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,780
That's the lesson you take
from this?
207
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:22,871
Chidi...
208
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,699
Your brain is broken.
You need to fix your brain.
209
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:32,915
So, in a nutshell, I have a 3,600 page thesis
that I am nowhere near finishing.
210
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:37,802
I am absolutely paralysed by decision-making,
and it is destroying my life.
211
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,472
Yeah, I sorta got that when you couldn't
choose a chair to sit on.
212
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:44,467
Well, I-I didn't want to offend you
in case you had a favourite.
213
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:47,269
Look, I know I just kind of...
214
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,474
Nope... walked in here
215
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,311
and you don't know me at all,
but is there any way to tell
216
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,943
if my indecision is due to, uh...
a... brain... thing?
217
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,354
Oh, yeah. Sure.
218
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,364
Well, what we do is,
we make a lengthy incision
219
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:01,617
from your eyebrows to the nape of your neck
220
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,653
and we peel your face back, right?
221
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,196
Then slice your skull open.
222
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:09,125
And then I just randomly stab at your brain
with an electrified needle.
223
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,078
The fun part is,
you're awake the whole time.
224
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,047
Uh...
225
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,502
I'm kidding! No.
226
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,071
I'll just give you an MRI
and look at the part of your brain
227
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,295
that controls decision-making.
228
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,174
Oh, I... I want that!
229
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:24,465
I need to learn about my brain. Please.
230
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,432
Well, so, you just march into my office
unannounced
231
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,348
tell me your brain is broken,
then demand I drop everything
232
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,892
and just put you in the university's
$3 million MRI machine?
233
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,814
Oh, I'm sorry, I...
234
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,025
I freakin' love it!
235
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,069
You're so weird! Let's go!
236
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:43,317
- Right now?
- Oh, yeah! Come on.
237
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,369
O-OK.
238
00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:47,905
This is your hippocampus.
239
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,207
It regulates memory. Yours looks great!
240
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,376
Very strong, gorgeous hippocampus here.
241
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:58,298
This is your ventromedial prefrontal cortex,
the centre of decision-making.
242
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,877
This is where the magic happens!
Do you see how it's all lit up?
243
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:05,159
That's a flurry of activity that occurred
when I asked you to choose between
244
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,783
red and blue, and you almost passed out.
245
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,801
Is it too late to pick blue instead?
246
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,765
It is. Yeah.
247
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,224
Point is, at first glance,
your brain is very healthy.
248
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,018
Huh, there are... actual answers here.
249
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,440
Data you can observe, and learn from.
250
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,318
Yeah, man!
Science is all about getting answers.
251
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:26,402
You philosophers can spend your entire life
mulling over a single question.
252
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,116
That's why everyone hates
moral philosophy professors.
253
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,456
No offence.
254
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,123
- Nope. None taken. We suck!
- Yeah.
255
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,509
Chidi!
256
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,254
One blueberry muffin, please.
257
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:46,255
So, why do it then?
Why choose to be good, every day?
258
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:50,510
I argue that we choose to be good
because of our bonds with other people.
259
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:54,187
Simply put...
we are not in this alone.
260
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,932
Thank you.
261
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,059
Wow, Chidi!
262
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,896
You chose that muffin in less than a minute.
263
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,864
That beats your old record by...
264
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:05,278
59 minutes.
265
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,735
Henry, I feel amazing.
266
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:11,118
I am 100 pages into my new thesis
and it is some of the best writing
267
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:14,041
that I have ever done.
I haven't been this happy since...
268
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,545
Oh, wow.
269
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,833
I've never been happy. Huh!
270
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,716
Bad!
271
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,459
I'm proud of you, mate.
Must be really nice to live that way.
272
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,045
Well, that's the beauty of it -
anyone can live this way.
273
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,677
Just decide to be more decisive.
274
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:30,744
Like, what's something that you've always
wanted to do?
275
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,260
I mean, I have been putting off
getting in shape.
276
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:37,143
Then make the decision to wake up
tomorrow morning, and get in shape.
277
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,565
It is that easy.
278
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,815
- OK! Maybe I will!
- I mean, what have you got to lose?
279
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,020
Nothing!
280
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,319
Henry! What happened to you?
281
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,742
Well, I was using the leg press at the gym
282
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,783
and you know how your legs
bend a certain way?
283
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,997
My legs bend the other way now.
284
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,083
Oh, no.
285
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,826
All the tendons in my legs
snapped like violin strings.
286
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,206
And then my foot flew forwards
and I kicked myself in the face
287
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,373
which gave me a concussion.
288
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,049
This is all my fault.
289
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,880
I did this to you. I...
290
00:14:06,304 --> 00:14:08,921
Muffins! I brought blueberry muffins!
291
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,219
Oh, no, you shouldn't eat blueberries
anymore.
292
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,935
Read an article, the migrant workers
who pick them are horribly mistreated.
293
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:18,813
Gaaaaaah!
294
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,106
Morning, Chidi! Blueberry muffin for ya?
295
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,607
Uh... I... I don't know. Maybe?
296
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,521
- I can't decide.
- You alright there, mate?
297
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:28,194
OK, I've made my decision.
298
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,237
I want to...
299
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,612
start crying!
300
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:37,918
Excuse me?
301
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,246
What is the maximum number of books
that I can check out? Is it 12,000?
302
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,025
Got a wild weekend planned?
303
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,041
Well, I need to find a new topic
for my thesis
304
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,717
and I had this thing happen
that made me more decisive
305
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,531
and a few months ago,
my friend broke both of his legs
306
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,533
and it's my fault, and blueberries,
and I need help!
307
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,516
Whoo!
308
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:55,885
Maybe that help will come from
Tay Zonday's autobiography
309
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,265
"Chocolate Book"! I mean,
who's to say?
310
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,394
Mate, I've worked in this library
a long time
311
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:06,813
and I've seen a lot of academic types
with that same helpless look on their faces.
312
00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,190
They all made it through OK
313
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,650
once they learned the secret.
314
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,139
What's the secret? There's a secret?
Is the secret more books?
315
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,433
- How many more books do I need?
- It's not about books, mate.
316
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,323
It's about perspective.
317
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:22,624
Sometimes, when you're feeling helpless,
the secret is to help someone else.
318
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,504
Get out of your own head. Trust me.
319
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,874
The next time someone asks for help
320
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:28,834
say "yes."
321
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,681
A few hours later,
you walked in and asked for help.
322
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,927
Now, I don't know if this is going to solve
all of my problems
323
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,596
but it's worth a try, right?
324
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,432
Well, thank you, sexy librarian guy!
325
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:45,525
I didn't say he was sexy.
326
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,437
Oh, I know, but whenever anyone
tells me a story about their life
327
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,776
I always imagine all the people
as being super hot
328
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,185
otherwise I quickly lose interest.
329
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:53,943
Do you not do that?
330
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,402
You can do it for free.
331
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:02,209
I gotta say, I enjoyed playing the role
of "mysterious librarian".
332
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,254
And I really...
333
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:05,587
...nailed the Australian accent.
334
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,289
Uh-huh. Flawless.
335
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,341
Thank you.
336
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:12,507
But the point is, Eleanor and Chidi
are together and now we can relax.
337
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,805
Everything is finally on track.
338
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,099
Status report.
339
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:25,058
They're plugging away, but we still can't
hack into the Judge's system.
340
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,234
Damn it!
341
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:29,068
Those four humans have been on Earth
for over a year.
342
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,525
I need to know if they're getting better.
343
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,773
Can I just ask...
344
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,318
we torture like 30 billion humans.
345
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,368
Why do you care so much about these four?
346
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,541
Never mind.
347
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:42,834
Forget I asked.
348
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,457
Serves him right for questioning you, boss!
349
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,960
- I think you're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Todd.
350
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:50,592
No-no-no...!
351
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,671
Why did you do that?
352
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,969
I'm a demon. It's fun.
353
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,764
No one leaves this room until we've accessed
the Judge's system.
354
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,551
Would music help?
Should I play some music?
355
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,187
Good idea.
356
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,805
Choose something deeply terrible,
to inspire us.
357
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,607
♪ Wherever you go ♪
- Oh, yeah.
358
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:13,529
♪ Whatever you do ♪
- That's the stuff.
359
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,819
So, for Aristotle, virtue is practical.
360
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,453
"Goodness" isn't something that a person
just inherently has
361
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,749
it's something that she achieves
through her actions.
362
00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,293
- Questions?
- Uh, yeah, a few.
363
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:29,129
I wrote down, "What?", "Huh?"
364
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:33,046
and then this doodle of a burrito,
because when I first read "Aristotle"
365
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,131
I thought it was pronounced like "Chipotle."
366
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,713
Wait a minute, is it "Chippa-tottle?"
367
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:43,598
These are all great questions, but I have to
meet my thesis advisor across campus.
368
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:46,055
Oh. Uh, well, I'm headed that way too.
I'll walk with you.
369
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,435
Hey, so...
370
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:51,560
I've been trying to figure out
how to pay you back for helping me.
371
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,816
I told you, you don't owe me anything.
372
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:56,816
At home, when I want to get something nice
for one of my friends
373
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,697
it usually comes in the form of something...
374
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,246
edible.
375
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,326
You get what I'm saying? An edible thing?
376
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,540
- Please don't buy me drugs.
- OK. Copy that.
377
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:09,169
I had no choice. I was in his driveway
taking pictures when he walked out.
378
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,998
So I said, "Hey, Mister Crowe,
I'm from the gas company.
379
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,298
I loved you in Gladiator.
380
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,384
Chidi!
381
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,302
- Hey!
- Hey.
382
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:17,465
- I got a question...
- Is it "What's my thesis topic?"
383
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,221
- Because I still don't know!
- No, it's not that.
384
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,471
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys haven't met yet.
385
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,010
Um, Simone, this is Eleanor.
386
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,053
The famous Simone! Nice to meet you.
387
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,231
You too.
388
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:31,441
So, I've gotta do some MRI scans
as a control for an experiment
389
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,645
and since you loved it so much last time,
I was wondering if you could just
390
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,739
- pop back in there, help me out?
- Oh, absolutely.
391
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:39,024
Cool. OK, well,
just come by my lab at six
392
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,013
and then afterwards I can buy you dinner
as a thank you.
393
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,949
Oh, no, no, you don't have to do that.
394
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,363
Oh. OK!
395
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,991
Well, uh... I'll see ya later.
Nice to meet you.
396
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,084
You too.
397
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,583
- What?
- Uh...
398
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,958
you and Simone had some real professor dork
vibes flowing.
399
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,882
You're both teachers...
who are hot for a teacher!
400
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,763
How have you not asked her out yet?
401
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,849
Are you scared?
402
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,513
No, it's not impressive to guess
that I'm scared, Eleanor.
403
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:09,646
I'm scared of everything.
And I can't just... do things like that.
404
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,143
- Just drop it, OK?
- Well...
405
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,184
OK, just promise me you'll drop it?
406
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:15,737
OK.
407
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:16,946
I promise.
408
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,569
So, you're into Chidi, right?
409
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,068
I mean, forgive my bluntness,
but I'm usually right about these things.
410
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,371
Well, yeah, but I've made it pretty clear
a bunch of times
411
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,453
and he's never responded,
so I just assumed he wasn't interested.
412
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,871
OK, I'm all set.
413
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,791
I'm just gonna ask you
some basic questions, Chidi, uh...
414
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,463
what is one plus one?
415
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:37,207
- Two.
- What colour is the sky?
416
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,131
- Blue.
- What colour are Simone's eyes?
417
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,387
Brown. Wh... I... uh, what?
418
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,216
If you could take Simone anywhere,
on a date
419
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:47,635
where would you take her?
420
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,682
Sorry, is this part of the experiment?
421
00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:50,888
It is now. Yes.
422
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,000
Please answer the question.
423
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,232
And keep in mind
we can see your brain.
424
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,776
Next question,
you are into Simone.
425
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,904
That's not a question.
426
00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,813
So you agree, it's a fact.
427
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,235
Next question's for Simone.
428
00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,693
Simone, are you annoyed at Chidi
for waiting so long to ask you out?
429
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,745
Yes, I am.
430
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,614
Chidi, same question for you,
are you annoyed at yourself
431
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,449
for waiting so long to ask out Simone?
432
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,331
I mean, I'm annoyed with you
and I've only known you three weeks.
433
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:16,588
Yes, I am obviously
very annoyed with myself.
434
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:19,132
- Can I get out now?
- No, you can't, it'll ruin the science.
435
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,924
There's only one question left,
and you gotta ask it, bud.
436
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,593
Simone, would you like to have dinner
with me?
437
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:31,143
Wow. That is highly inappropriate.
438
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,437
Uh...
439
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,064
I'm just kidding. Yes, I would.
Thank you for asking.
440
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,567
Oh, cute!
441
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:38,769
This is a disaster!
442
00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:40,070
Michael, relax.
443
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,821
How the two of them gonna bond?
444
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,867
There were plenty of reboots where
Eleanor and Chidi weren't even soulmates
445
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,617
and he still always helped her.
446
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,071
Simone and Chidi are good together!
447
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,074
I've been running simulations
on what their kids will be like.
448
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,747
One of them is hot enough
to be on The Bachelor
449
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,579
and smart enough to never go on
The Bachelor!
450
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,543
This is not just about Chidi.
451
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,500
I've left too much to chance.
452
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,804
Until our group is back together again,
this whole thing is hanging by a thread.
453
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,259
I'm going back down.
454
00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,053
You're pressing your luck.
455
00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:11,931
If you keep disobeying Mummy,
something bad is going to happen!
456
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,765
- What?
- Oh, I don't have a mum
457
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,558
so I've been experimenting with thinking of
the Judge as my mum.
458
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:18,903
It's weird.
459
00:21:18,904 --> 00:21:19,820
- Forget it.
- OK.
460
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,233
How are you even gonna get Jason and Tahani
to Australia?
461
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,656
I have no idea. But I have to try.
462
00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:25,950
Well...
463
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:26,868
Good luck, Dad.
464
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:28,451
Nope! Also weird. Just go.
36078
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