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1
00:00:04,275 --> 00:00:07,655
Done cleansing mind and spirit
2
00:00:07,724 --> 00:00:10,862
but the body could
use a little detailing.
3
00:00:10,931 --> 00:00:12,551
Miles: What attracts
you to a man?
4
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:13,620
Definitely not this.
5
00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:15,655
Miles, what are you doing?
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,137
Pursuing the woman of my dreams.
7
00:00:17,206 --> 00:00:20,586
Pursuing... stalking...
It'’s a fine line.
8
00:00:20,655 --> 00:00:22,724
Not you. Mary quizzenberry.
9
00:00:22,793 --> 00:00:25,689
She'’s in my film
class and I love her
10
00:00:25,758 --> 00:00:28,448
and she might love me if I
ever actually spoke to her.
11
00:00:28,517 --> 00:00:30,586
So i'’m making a
documentary to learn about
12
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,896
what women find
attractive in a man.
13
00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:34,251
Miles, you Don'’t
have to do that.
14
00:00:34,275 --> 00:00:36,075
You know how to handle
yourself around a woman.
15
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,689
When I tried to introduce myself
16
00:00:37,758 --> 00:00:39,000
my palms were so sweaty
17
00:00:39,068 --> 00:00:41,862
I inadvertently spilled
fresca down her sports bra.
18
00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:42,931
Roll camera.
19
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,310
What attracts you to a man?
20
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:47,689
First off, good hygiene.
21
00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:50,068
A man'’s got to know
his way around a q-tip.
22
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,827
Cotton swabs,
check. But what else?
23
00:00:51,896 --> 00:00:54,551
He'’s got to be funny
and nice and smart
24
00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:57,758
and sexy and he'’s got
to have a killer smile.
25
00:00:57,827 --> 00:01:01,103
Reality check: That
guy does not exist.
26
00:01:01,172 --> 00:01:03,758
Oh, i'’m pretty sure he'’s
out there somewhere.
27
00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:07,379
Good night, miles.
28
00:01:07,413 --> 00:01:11,310
Good night, Sabrina.
29
00:01:11,379 --> 00:01:13,862
I'’ve already learned one thing.
30
00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:16,172
Chicks dig a guy with a camera.
31
00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:25,413
♪ Life'’s changing around me,
and i'’m gonna make it mine ♪
32
00:01:25,482 --> 00:01:31,931
♪ i'’m reaching out and
living by my rules... ♪
33
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,103
♪ Time'’s moving way too fast ♪
34
00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:39,241
♪ I wanna make it last...
35
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,758
♪ '’cause i'’m out
on my own now ♪
36
00:01:44,827 --> 00:01:49,413
♪ and I like the way it feels.
37
00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:58,172
I'’ve scoured the listings
38
00:01:58,241 --> 00:02:00,275
for every photography-
related job
39
00:02:00,344 --> 00:02:02,862
in a 20-mile radius,
redid Josh'’s resume
40
00:02:02,931 --> 00:02:04,655
and as a fallback,
got him an interview
41
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,517
with the sears family
photo department.
42
00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,106
Start sewing name
tags in his underwear
43
00:02:08,172 --> 00:02:09,492
and you'’re
officially his mother.
44
00:02:09,551 --> 00:02:11,068
Roxie, when Josh
didn'’t go to Prague
45
00:02:11,137 --> 00:02:12,344
and stayed in Boston for me
46
00:02:12,413 --> 00:02:13,758
it was a supreme
romantic gesture.
47
00:02:13,827 --> 00:02:15,000
You'’re right.
48
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,172
He could have just tattooed
your name on his butt.
49
00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,689
Yet, his staying has
an enormous backside...
50
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:20,758
Downside.
51
00:02:20,827 --> 00:02:22,551
Eventually, he'’s
going to realize
52
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:24,310
that he didn'’t
follow his dreams
53
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:26,275
and he'’s stuck
here in coffee hell.
54
00:02:26,344 --> 00:02:27,724
Tormented and miserable
55
00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:29,758
and resenting
your very existence.
56
00:02:29,827 --> 00:02:30,827
I hadn'’t gone there yet
57
00:02:30,896 --> 00:02:32,310
but thanks for the added guilt.
58
00:02:32,379 --> 00:02:34,000
Now i'’ve really
got to make sure
59
00:02:34,068 --> 00:02:35,620
that Josh has the perfect job.
60
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:36,931
Josh already has a job.
61
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,965
And I heard that
hell remark, missy.
62
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,044
She'’s just a little nervous
63
00:02:40,068 --> 00:02:41,562
about having to run
the place without him.
64
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:42,655
Oh, yeah, petrified.
65
00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:44,586
There are tons of jobs
for photojournalists.
66
00:02:44,655 --> 00:02:48,068
Almost as many as there
are for rock stars and cowboys.
67
00:02:48,137 --> 00:02:51,689
Guess what. I just got a
job as a photojournalist.
68
00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:54,448
Really? I'’m ruined!
69
00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:57,103
You are looking at the
new city desk photographer
70
00:02:57,172 --> 00:02:58,689
for the Boston citizen. Huh?
71
00:02:58,758 --> 00:02:59,827
Oh, that'’s fantastic!
72
00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:00,896
That'’s great news.
73
00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:01,965
For you, too.
74
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,965
I just walked in there
and refused to leave
75
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,827
until somebody
looked at my portfolio.
76
00:03:05,896 --> 00:03:07,931
Mike Shelby said I had
a journalist'’s instincts
77
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:08,931
and a great eye...
78
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:09,931
Mike Shelby?
79
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,793
The two-time pulitzer
prize- winning reporter
80
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,206
and editor of the citizen?
81
00:03:13,275 --> 00:03:13,827
Yeah, he'’s...
82
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:14,724
Crusader for the people
83
00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:16,033
who helped clean Boston harbor.
84
00:03:16,068 --> 00:03:16,965
Yeah, and he'’s the one who...
85
00:03:17,034 --> 00:03:19,068
Successfully fought to
preserve Indian gaming.
86
00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:21,551
Yes. He'’s my new boss.
87
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:22,551
I love him!
88
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,896
Yeah, I got that.
89
00:03:23,965 --> 00:03:25,206
Oh, i'’m so proud of you!
90
00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:26,862
Well, i'’m going to take you out
91
00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:28,517
for a big celebration dinner.
92
00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:29,586
Sounds great.
93
00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:31,206
But first we got to
stop by the paper
94
00:03:31,275 --> 00:03:32,655
so I can show you my new office.
95
00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,827
You have your own office?
96
00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:37,379
Actually, it'’s more
like my own cubby.
97
00:03:37,448 --> 00:03:39,103
This is so cute.
98
00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:43,344
All it needs is a
little personal touch.
99
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,103
Surprise. It was either this
100
00:03:45,172 --> 00:03:47,931
or those little clicky balls
that go back and forth.
101
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,275
Thank you. This is so...
102
00:03:49,344 --> 00:03:50,827
When did we take this picture?
103
00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:53,413
Oh, I can'’t believe
you'’re actually going
104
00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:54,482
to be working here.
105
00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:56,137
I know. And the rest of the time
106
00:03:56,206 --> 00:03:58,413
I get to be out in the
field on assignment.
107
00:03:58,482 --> 00:03:59,896
This is so exciting.
108
00:03:59,965 --> 00:04:02,413
Maybe in a few years
we'’ll be able to work
109
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:03,758
on the paper together.
110
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,482
You know, me a
reporter, you a...
111
00:04:09,068 --> 00:04:10,482
Josh, these mugs
are magnificent.
112
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,000
I Don'’t know when i'’ve seen
a peck of more perfect pics.
113
00:04:13,068 --> 00:04:14,827
Hey, blondie, you
playing or you talking?
114
00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:16,034
Both. Deal me in, blackie.
115
00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:18,172
I got to write a new lead
story to go with these.
116
00:04:18,241 --> 00:04:19,172
Stop the presses!
117
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:20,482
God, I love saying that.
118
00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:24,206
Copy!
119
00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,551
Breenie, this is brilliant.
120
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,241
Tell me something I Don'’t know.
121
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,241
Excuse me.
122
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,670
Can'’t you see
we'’re working here
123
00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:33,931
or Don'’t you recognize a
newsroom when you see one?
124
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,758
Uh, Sabrina, this is
my boss, Mike Shelby.
125
00:04:36,827 --> 00:04:38,137
Oh, I am so sorry.
126
00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:40,931
I was just having a
newsroom fantasy.
127
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,448
I used to have
'’em all the time.
128
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,103
Except in mine I
make a lot more money
129
00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:46,482
and I look like Robert redford.
130
00:04:46,551 --> 00:04:48,424
You know, i'’ve read
everything you'’ve ever written.
131
00:04:48,448 --> 00:04:50,931
So you'’re the one who'’s
been going through my trash.
132
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,448
Listen, as long as you'’re here
133
00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:53,827
would you mind sticking around?
134
00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:56,000
There'’s been some
activity on the police scanner.
135
00:04:56,068 --> 00:04:57,000
That'’d be incredible.
136
00:04:57,068 --> 00:04:59,310
Oh, you'’re probably
talking to Josh, huh?
137
00:04:59,379 --> 00:05:01,000
Wow, that would be fantastic.
138
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:03,689
Sabrina, I know we had plans...
139
00:05:03,758 --> 00:05:04,931
To listen to a police scanner
140
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,724
but you'’ve got one
here so you'’re all set.
141
00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:07,793
All right, see you later.
142
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,275
Or you could stick around here
143
00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:11,103
if you Don'’t mind
listening to sirens
144
00:05:11,172 --> 00:05:13,034
and eating bean
burritos with the boys.
145
00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:17,068
Bring on the beans
and bring on the boys.
146
00:05:17,137 --> 00:05:21,172
[ Garbled radio transmission]
147
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:22,620
So, long story short
148
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:25,793
I find myself sitting
in a foxhole in Kuwait
149
00:05:25,862 --> 00:05:29,862
with wolf blitzer, morley
safer and Jenny McCarthy.
150
00:05:29,931 --> 00:05:30,965
[ Both laugh]
151
00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:32,379
I Don'’t know about the troops
152
00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:33,965
but we were
certainly entertained.
153
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,103
Yeah, but nothing tops
the three-legged race
154
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:37,827
at camp David
with Henry kissinger.
155
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:40,827
Oh, yeah, we beat the
pants off mandela and tutu.
156
00:05:40,896 --> 00:05:42,310
Mike, this is amazing.
157
00:05:42,379 --> 00:05:45,034
I could listen to
your stories all night.
158
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:46,965
Yeah, and I think we just did.
159
00:05:47,034 --> 00:05:47,965
It'’s 7:00 A.M.
160
00:05:48,034 --> 00:05:49,379
I got to go to class.
161
00:05:49,448 --> 00:05:52,000
Bye. I got to go to work.
162
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:56,275
That was an easy
commute. I love this job.
163
00:05:56,344 --> 00:06:00,482
Hmm, what attracts me to a man?
164
00:06:00,551 --> 00:06:03,724
Well, first and
foremost his intellect.
165
00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:06,965
And barring that, buns of steel.
166
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,689
Let'’s get back to intellect.
167
00:06:08,758 --> 00:06:11,482
So far, my knowledge
of advanced astrophysics
168
00:06:11,551 --> 00:06:14,137
has not exactly been
a hit with the ladies.
169
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:15,517
Really?
170
00:06:15,586 --> 00:06:18,275
Well, it must be in
your presentation.
171
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,965
Miles, women like
a man who is strong
172
00:06:21,034 --> 00:06:23,137
confident and self-assured.
173
00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:24,896
You'’ve got to walk into a room
174
00:06:24,965 --> 00:06:26,724
take charge and knock them out
175
00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:28,517
with your masculine charisma.
176
00:06:28,586 --> 00:06:30,862
I'’m all over it, chicky baby.
177
00:06:30,931 --> 00:06:32,689
Good luck.
178
00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:35,482
And miles, work on the tush.
179
00:06:40,724 --> 00:06:42,241
Sabrina, it'’s 4:00.
180
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,793
Are you still waiting for Josh?
181
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,620
Yeah, ever since
he took this new job
182
00:06:46,689 --> 00:06:49,137
he'’s having trouble
breaking away from the office.
183
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:50,275
But you know, i'’m sure
184
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,827
this picnic lunch will be
perfectly good tomorrow.
185
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:55,000
As long as Josh doesn'’t mind
186
00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:57,827
his salmon salad
be salmonella salad.
187
00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:00,000
I really admire your
positive attitude.
188
00:07:00,068 --> 00:07:01,655
It'’s tough on a relationship
189
00:07:01,724 --> 00:07:03,862
when one person
has to work long hours.
190
00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:04,862
Tell me about it.
191
00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:06,551
But this job is
perfect for Josh.
192
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:07,896
I'’m totally happy for him.
193
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:09,137
I would just be happier
194
00:07:09,206 --> 00:07:10,827
if I occasionally
got to see him.
195
00:07:10,896 --> 00:07:11,827
Oh, you will.
196
00:07:11,896 --> 00:07:14,034
Josh is just paying his dues.
197
00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:16,655
I remember when
I got my first job
198
00:07:16,724 --> 00:07:19,103
interning for Leonardo da Vinci.
199
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,344
I was on call 24 hours a day.
200
00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:24,206
And my boyfriend, a
sailor, couldn'’t stand it
201
00:07:24,275 --> 00:07:25,793
and demanded that I quit.
202
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,000
So did you quit?
203
00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:29,206
Hello? Da Vinci? Mega-genius?
204
00:07:29,275 --> 00:07:31,172
I sent lover boy packing.
205
00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:33,758
Eventually, he
discovered america
206
00:07:33,827 --> 00:07:35,079
so it worked out for both of us.
207
00:07:35,103 --> 00:07:37,724
So, I just got to keep
being supportive?
208
00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:40,000
And i'’ve just got to be off.
209
00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:42,793
I know you Don'’t want any
"aunts" spoiling your picnic.
210
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,241
Get it? Got it. Go.
211
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,241
I'’m so sorry.
212
00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:46,482
I was almost out the door
213
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,241
when Mike grabbed
me to go to lunch.
214
00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:49,241
Oh, no problem.
215
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:50,838
Sabrina, Mike'’s doing
a story on the mayor
216
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,389
and he wants me to
go over there right now
217
00:07:52,413 --> 00:07:53,976
and shoot the picture.
This is really huge.
218
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,137
Bigger than huge.
219
00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:56,482
I hate to do this to you again.
220
00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:57,586
Oh, it'’s okay.
221
00:07:57,655 --> 00:07:59,758
We'’ll be together tomorrow
night at the concert.
222
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:00,724
Concert?
223
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:03,275
Remember? Dave Matthews?
224
00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:04,976
Morgan'’s new boyfriend
got us the tickets?
225
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,655
I Don'’t care about
Dave Matthews.
226
00:08:06,724 --> 00:08:08,034
I'’ll be there to see you.
227
00:08:08,103 --> 00:08:10,103
Then I better start rehearsing.
228
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,448
Hey, Mike, i'’ll see you later.
229
00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,517
I'’m going to meet
Sabrina for the concert.
230
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:18,286
At least one of us will
be having a good time.
231
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,068
Something wrong?
232
00:08:19,137 --> 00:08:21,758
I just had a big
fight with my wife.
233
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:22,724
Oh, i'’m sorry.
234
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,448
Oh, Don'’t worry about me.
235
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:26,655
I'’ll find a way to pull
it together somehow.
236
00:08:27,551 --> 00:08:30,206
You go. Go, have fun.
237
00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:32,931
No, it'’s okay.
238
00:08:32,965 --> 00:08:35,551
I totally understand
if you have to work.
239
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,896
Well, that'’s just it.
240
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:38,758
When i'’m working, it'’s great.
241
00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:40,517
Now, i'’m just sitting around
242
00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,034
listening to Mike talk.
243
00:08:42,103 --> 00:08:43,310
First it was about his wife.
244
00:08:43,379 --> 00:08:45,724
Now he'’s telling the Jenny
McCarthy in the foxhole story
245
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,000
for the fifth time this week.
246
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,000
I'’m beginning to think
247
00:08:48,068 --> 00:08:49,724
this guy just can'’t
stand to be alone.
248
00:08:49,793 --> 00:08:51,379
You have to look
at the upside, Josh.
249
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,551
One of the most important
editors in the country
250
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:54,793
considers you his confidant.
251
00:08:54,862 --> 00:08:55,862
I know. You'’re right.
252
00:08:55,896 --> 00:08:57,965
Look, i'’ll get out of
here as quickly as I can.
253
00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,551
At the very least
i'’ll still meet you
254
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:00,665
at the restaurant afterwards.
255
00:09:00,689 --> 00:09:01,689
I want to make sure
256
00:09:01,724 --> 00:09:03,137
you remember who
your boyfriend is.
257
00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:05,034
Like I could ever forget that.
258
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:06,103
[ Doorbell rings]
259
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,137
See you later.
260
00:09:11,586 --> 00:09:12,586
Harvey?
261
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,689
Sabrina? What
are you doing here?
262
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,482
I live here. What
are you doing here?
263
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:17,862
Harvey!
264
00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,655
Hey.
265
00:09:19,724 --> 00:09:21,827
Well, that answers
that question.
266
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:22,827
Morgan, I had no idea
267
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,275
you and Sabrina were roommates.
268
00:09:24,344 --> 00:09:25,424
Oh, do you two know each other?
269
00:09:25,448 --> 00:09:26,448
You could say that.
270
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,413
We sort of dated... A lot.
271
00:09:29,482 --> 00:09:31,344
Oh, thatharvey.
272
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:35,758
And the evening
takes a disastrous turn.
273
00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:37,689
Don'’t worry. Now
we'’re just friends.
274
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:40,413
I broke up with Sabrina
when I found out she was...
275
00:09:40,482 --> 00:09:42,275
Harvey, what do you
think you'’re doing?
276
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:44,344
I wasn'’t going to tell
her you'’re a witch.
277
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,310
I was just going to
say that we broke up
278
00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:48,896
when we found out we were
going to different schools.
279
00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:49,965
Give me a little credit.
280
00:09:50,034 --> 00:09:51,034
Sorry.
281
00:09:51,103 --> 00:09:52,527
So what'’s the deal
with you and Morgan?
282
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:54,586
No deal. Met her
at a fraternity party
283
00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,241
we'’ve gone out a couple times
284
00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,620
and we will be going to
the Dave Matthews concert
285
00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:00,482
just as soon as you
wiggle your finger.
286
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,620
I broke up with
Sabrina when I found out
287
00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,827
she and I were going
to different colleges.
288
00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:08,896
Oh, whew!
289
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,931
I'’d hate to think I
picked up something
290
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,413
out of the spellman reject pile.
291
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:21,344
I like a guy who'’s
a little bit dangerous.
292
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:22,413
Really?
293
00:10:22,448 --> 00:10:24,103
I'’ve never told this to anyone
294
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:25,620
but sometimes I
like to drive around
295
00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:27,034
with only a quarter tank of gas.
296
00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:28,724
Miles, there'’s
nothing I can say
297
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,310
that'’s going to make you
more attractive to women.
298
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,965
Still no Josh.
299
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,655
You have one inattentive
boyfriend, spellman.
300
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,965
He has a very important job
301
00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:40,689
and i'’m totally
on board with that.
302
00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:42,689
Believe me, as soon
as Mike can spare him
303
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:43,758
Josh will be here.
304
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,551
Josh hasn'’t spent
one moment with you
305
00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:46,620
since he got this job.
306
00:10:46,655 --> 00:10:49,103
If you keep being so "on board"
307
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:51,493
you'’re going to rationalize
your way out of a relationship.
308
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,413
No, i'’m not.
309
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:53,862
And if we'’re not
together tonight
310
00:10:53,931 --> 00:10:55,310
we'’ll be together
tomorrow night.
311
00:10:55,379 --> 00:10:57,344
I'’d rather have Josh
be successful at his job
312
00:10:57,413 --> 00:10:59,379
than jeopardize it
over a whiny girlfriend.
313
00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:01,724
There'’s nothing
wrong with being whiny.
314
00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,137
Or shrill.
315
00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:07,068
Hey, Sabrina.
316
00:11:07,137 --> 00:11:08,275
Harvey?
317
00:11:08,344 --> 00:11:10,344
Yeah, Morgan'’s new boyfriend.
318
00:11:10,413 --> 00:11:11,827
Mike?
319
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,551
Josh'’s new boyfriend.
320
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,724
Mike, this is Harvey and Morgan.
321
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,931
Hey, all.
322
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:19,931
I want to thank you
323
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,448
for letting me borrow
your boyfriend.
324
00:11:21,517 --> 00:11:23,655
But I wanted to make sure
he didn'’t miss dinner, too.
325
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,551
Well, thanks for
getting him here safe.
326
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:28,448
Of course, he
insisted I join you, so...
327
00:11:28,517 --> 00:11:31,000
There'’s always tomorrow night.
328
00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,000
Yeah. See, my wife called
329
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,724
and said I Don'’t spend
enough time at home.
330
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:39,551
Something about her
"needs," bla-bla-bla.
331
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,758
Long story short,
she threw me out.
332
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:45,000
But Josh here was kind
enough to offer me his couch
333
00:11:45,068 --> 00:11:46,655
for as long as I need it.
334
00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:48,103
Oh, that is so sweet
335
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:51,862
that you would rather stay
at Josh'’s place than a hotel
336
00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:54,034
which you can obviously afford.
337
00:11:54,103 --> 00:11:58,172
That'’s the kind of guy I
am. I'’m a people person.
338
00:11:58,241 --> 00:11:59,724
I propose a toast.
339
00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:02,862
To Mike and Josh.
340
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,931
Come on, Sabrina. Get on board.
341
00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:12,931
So, Mike'’s moving in with you.
342
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,517
He caught me off guard, okay?
343
00:12:15,586 --> 00:12:16,665
As soon as we'’re done here
344
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:18,249
i'’m telling him he
can'’t stay with me.
345
00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:19,555
More importantly, i'’m quitting.
346
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:20,655
This is way over the line.
347
00:12:20,724 --> 00:12:22,655
It isn'’t fair for me
and it isn'’t fair for you.
348
00:12:22,724 --> 00:12:24,862
You can'’t quit,
especially because of me.
349
00:12:24,931 --> 00:12:27,379
Let'’s not get into this right
now, with everybody here.
350
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:29,000
Oh, Don'’t worry about them.
351
00:12:29,068 --> 00:12:31,344
They'’ve got other
things on their mind.
352
00:12:31,413 --> 00:12:34,000
Yo, what'’s with the salt?
353
00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:35,965
'’cause I love salt.
354
00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:37,586
Me, too.
355
00:12:37,655 --> 00:12:40,689
Salt scrubs, salt
peels, salt lake city.
356
00:12:40,758 --> 00:12:42,137
Hey, did you know that salt
357
00:12:42,206 --> 00:12:43,827
is the most important compound
358
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:45,482
in the human body after water?
359
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:48,103
My whole reason for staying
in Boston was to be with you
360
00:12:48,172 --> 00:12:50,793
and with Mike hogging my
sofa, that'’s not going to happen.
361
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:53,827
Josh, I feel guilty enough
that you gave up Prague for me.
362
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,586
Just Don'’t do
anything rash, okay?
363
00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:57,206
Somehow this will all work out.
364
00:12:57,275 --> 00:12:58,310
How?
365
00:12:58,379 --> 00:13:00,344
I'’ll think of something.
366
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,551
I just haven'’t put
my finger on it yet.
367
00:13:03,620 --> 00:13:06,482
Salem: Sabrina, it'’s obvious.
368
00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:08,010
Mike is spending so
much time with Josh
369
00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:09,320
because his home
life is miserable.
370
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:10,344
You'’re right.
371
00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:11,562
I'’ve just got to find a spell
372
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:13,106
to get Mike and his
wife back together.
373
00:13:13,137 --> 00:13:14,241
Look at this.
374
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,103
An "I got you, babe" spell.
375
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:17,620
Perfect.
376
00:13:19,724 --> 00:13:21,448
They'’ve got to be kidding.
377
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:23,103
Roll with it, gypsy woman!
378
00:13:23,172 --> 00:13:24,275
The beat goes on.
379
00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:26,965
This one goes out to
Mike and Mike'’s wife.
380
00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:30,482
♪ They say we'’re young
and we Don'’t know ♪
381
00:13:30,551 --> 00:13:36,758
♪ we won'’t find
out until we grow ♪
382
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:40,344
♪ well, I Don'’t know
if all that'’s true ♪
383
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:43,172
♪ '’cause you got me, and baby ♪
384
00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:46,620
♪ I got you
385
00:13:46,689 --> 00:13:49,275
♪ babe
386
00:13:49,344 --> 00:13:55,034
♪ I got you, babe...
387
00:13:55,103 --> 00:13:56,413
All right, here you go.
388
00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:58,068
I'’ll see you in the morning.
389
00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:00,275
Whoa, you'’re not going
to bed already, are you?
390
00:14:00,344 --> 00:14:01,931
Apparently not.
391
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,310
[ Phone rings]
392
00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:04,482
Please be a telemarketer.
393
00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,103
Hello?
394
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:07,413
Uh, yeah.
395
00:14:07,482 --> 00:14:08,758
Hey, it'’s your wife, Janine.
396
00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:11,965
Yeah, well, you tell that
miserable, nagging shrew...
397
00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:13,620
♪ Babe... ♪
398
00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:15,551
That I Cherish her
with all my heart
399
00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:17,310
and my love for her is eternal.
400
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:18,586
Uh, okay.
401
00:14:18,655 --> 00:14:20,103
Better yet, let me tell her.
402
00:14:20,172 --> 00:14:22,793
Do you mind?
403
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,344
Maybe Sabrina was right.
404
00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:25,862
This really will work out.
405
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,448
[ "I got you, babe" playing]
406
00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,000
It'’s 3:00 in the morning.
407
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,241
Who'’s playing Sonny and Cher?
408
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:34,103
Hey!
409
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,965
Now, your sister
claims that a man
410
00:14:36,034 --> 00:14:37,931
should be confident
and self-assured
411
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,482
and wow the women with
his masculine charisma.
412
00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:42,655
Have you seen the
eurotrash she goes out with?
413
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:44,551
No woman with an
ounce of self-respect
414
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,620
would fall for that.
415
00:14:45,655 --> 00:14:48,275
A man needs to
be aloof, insensitive.
416
00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:50,931
If you want to get a
woman'’s attention, ignore her.
417
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
My frontal lobe is
beginning to throb.
418
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:54,251
That'’s because you'’re paying
419
00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:56,000
way too much attention
to what i'’m saying.
420
00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:58,148
Ignore me, scorn me, and
then i'’ll be yours forever.
421
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,000
Hey, I had a feeling
i'’d be seeing you today.
422
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,344
Let me guess... you'’re finally
423
00:15:04,413 --> 00:15:06,724
going to whisk me away
to that picnic in the park?
424
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:08,310
Mike and his wife
got back together.
425
00:15:08,379 --> 00:15:10,068
I know... I mean, i'’m shocked!
426
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,068
No, here'’s the shocker.
427
00:15:11,137 --> 00:15:12,586
Now she'’s hanging
around the office
428
00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:13,975
and they'’re
screaming and yelling
429
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:15,206
and putting me in the middle.
430
00:15:15,275 --> 00:15:16,310
Now I really am shocked.
431
00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:17,655
Would you excuse me a moment?
432
00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:20,172
Um, I got to help aunt hilda
with this big coffee order.
433
00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:21,896
She tends to cap
when she should frap.
434
00:15:21,965 --> 00:15:24,172
Aunt hilda, you got to help me.
435
00:15:24,241 --> 00:15:25,827
I put an "i'’ve got
you, babe" spell
436
00:15:25,896 --> 00:15:27,103
on Josh'’s boss and his wife
437
00:15:27,172 --> 00:15:28,551
and it just made things worse.
438
00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:29,758
Duh... that spell only works
439
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:32,137
if they'’re both willing to
put their stubbornness aside
440
00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:33,724
and admit that
they love each other.
441
00:15:33,793 --> 00:15:35,000
Well, if they could do that
442
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,793
then I wouldn'’t have
needed the spell.
443
00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:37,965
Double duh.
444
00:15:38,034 --> 00:15:39,931
If I could fix
relationships with a spell
445
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,793
i'’d still be with
Alexander the great.
446
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:45,620
He really was great.
447
00:15:49,931 --> 00:15:51,941
Maybe it'’s not Mike'’s
marriage that'’s the problem.
448
00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:52,965
Maybe it'’s just Mike.
449
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,206
The guy needs to get a life.
450
00:15:54,275 --> 00:15:55,586
You'’re in luck.
451
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,379
Here'’s a "get a life" spell
452
00:15:57,448 --> 00:16:01,068
guaranteed to give the
recipient a meaningful existence
453
00:16:01,137 --> 00:16:03,379
and help him
reform his priorities.
454
00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:05,551
And now it comes
in a tasty cereal form.
455
00:16:11,517 --> 00:16:13,896
But what if he doesn'’t like it?
456
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:15,034
He likes it.
457
00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:17,758
Hey, Mikey, let me have some.
458
00:16:17,827 --> 00:16:18,965
Too late.
459
00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:20,620
It'’s all gone.
460
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,241
You know what?
461
00:16:22,310 --> 00:16:24,551
I think i'’m going to
go outside for a while
462
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:26,724
take the rest of
the afternoon off
463
00:16:26,793 --> 00:16:28,482
do me some living.
464
00:16:31,931 --> 00:16:33,034
Hey, Sabrina, great news.
465
00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,551
Mike just took
the afternoon off.
466
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,689
Any chance you can
get away for a little while?
467
00:16:36,758 --> 00:16:39,275
Oh, I think I can manage it.
468
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,793
Surprise!
469
00:16:47,862 --> 00:16:49,758
Unfortunately, i'’ve
got one for you, too.
470
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:53,758
Hey, it'’s the girlfriend, and
she'’s come bearing gifts.
471
00:16:53,827 --> 00:16:55,241
I love this kid.
472
00:16:55,310 --> 00:16:57,206
I'’m running out of
spells, here, buddy.
473
00:16:57,275 --> 00:16:59,517
Mike, um, i'’m surprised
to see you here today.
474
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,206
It seems like such a perfect day
475
00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:03,034
to refocus one'’s priorities.
476
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,275
A little while ago
477
00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:06,448
I was sitting in the
park, smelling the roses
478
00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:09,172
and then it hit me... I
Don'’t need to get a life.
479
00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:11,241
I'’ve already got
one: The newspaper.
480
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,724
Doh, I should have
seen that coming.
481
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,310
You know, when I got married
482
00:17:16,379 --> 00:17:18,344
I told my wife,
"work comes first."
483
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,896
It'’s my one true passion.
484
00:17:19,965 --> 00:17:22,448
I'’m a newspaper man,
just like Josh, here.
485
00:17:22,517 --> 00:17:24,586
Look, Mike, i'’m not
like you at all, all right?
486
00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:25,724
When i'’m not on the clock
487
00:17:25,793 --> 00:17:27,758
and there'’s nothing
going on, i'’m out of here.
488
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:28,965
If you need me, then page me
489
00:17:29,034 --> 00:17:30,551
but it better be
to take a picture.
490
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,551
Listen, kid, with
that kind of attitude...
491
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:35,068
I'’ll probably be
very happy, all right?
492
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,493
If you Don'’t like
it, then fire me
493
00:17:36,517 --> 00:17:38,877
'’cause this is one newspaper
man who'’s going to get a life.
494
00:17:38,931 --> 00:17:41,758
Have you been
eating Mikey'’s cereal?
495
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:46,758
Sabrina, that picnic
was so worth waiting for.
496
00:17:46,827 --> 00:17:49,172
I'’d rather lie on a
blanket with you any day
497
00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:51,517
than watch Mike pick
black beans out of his teeth.
498
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:55,206
Aw, that'’s the sweetest
thing anyone'’s ever said to me.
499
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,586
I'’m going to go down to the
paper and clean out my cubby.
500
00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:59,793
Josh, i'’m so sorry
about your job.
501
00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:01,517
Hey, Don'’t worry
about it, all right?
502
00:18:01,586 --> 00:18:02,586
There'’ll be other jobs.
503
00:18:02,655 --> 00:18:04,620
The most important
thing is that I have you.
504
00:18:04,689 --> 00:18:06,586
You'’ve been so
great through all this.
505
00:18:06,655 --> 00:18:08,896
I mean, even when
everything got totally crazy
506
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:11,379
you just stayed calm
and didn'’t try to interfere.
507
00:18:11,448 --> 00:18:14,724
That'’s just the
kind of person I am.
508
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,553
Thanks, Sabrina, you'’re
always there for me.
509
00:18:21,137 --> 00:18:23,482
And i'’ll continue to be there.
510
00:18:27,793 --> 00:18:29,448
Well, first I got to
straighten out Mike
511
00:18:29,517 --> 00:18:30,896
then I got to get
someone in here
512
00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:32,275
to straighten out Josh'’s cubby.
513
00:18:44,586 --> 00:18:46,137
What are you doing here?
514
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,689
Maybe an "all is forgiven" spell
515
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,034
or a "starting over" spell.
516
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,896
Don'’t get your
newsprint in a wad.
517
00:18:50,965 --> 00:18:52,862
I'’ll be out of here
in two minutes.
518
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,137
Good, '’cause I Don'’t pay you
519
00:18:54,206 --> 00:18:55,379
to hang around the office.
520
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:56,655
I need you down at the docks
521
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,034
covering that industrial fire.
522
00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,413
You mean I still have my job?
523
00:18:59,482 --> 00:19:02,482
No, I just enjoy sending
people down to the docks.
524
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:05,275
Of course you
still have your job.
525
00:19:05,344 --> 00:19:07,413
Mike, I love working here
526
00:19:07,482 --> 00:19:09,137
but i'’m not apologizing
for what I said
527
00:19:09,206 --> 00:19:10,689
and i'’m not going
to be hanging out
528
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:11,931
when i'’m not on the clock.
529
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Whoo-hoo!
530
00:19:13,034 --> 00:19:14,182
[ Whispering]: I mean, Whoo-hoo.
531
00:19:14,206 --> 00:19:15,862
That'’s what I
like about you, kid.
532
00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:17,172
You stand up for yourself
533
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,068
and you do it for
the right reasons.
534
00:19:19,137 --> 00:19:21,482
In my book, that'’s what
makes a newspaper man.
535
00:19:21,551 --> 00:19:23,172
Yeah, well, I still
got a lot to learn
536
00:19:23,241 --> 00:19:25,655
and as far as i'’m concerned,
you'’re the guy to teach me.
537
00:19:25,724 --> 00:19:27,275
Yeah, well, not
tonight, all right?
538
00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:28,724
I'’m taking my wife to a play
539
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,448
and being the romantic that I am
540
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:31,965
i'’m picking her up afterward.
541
00:19:33,724 --> 00:19:35,896
Hey, I want you to
hang on to this one.
542
00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,000
Oh! Ow!
543
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:37,758
She'’s a keeper.
544
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:41,137
I know, I know.
545
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:45,862
Sabrina, you'’re not
going to believe this.
546
00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:47,000
I still have my job.
547
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:49,344
Oh, that'’s great news.
548
00:19:49,413 --> 00:19:50,172
Are you okay?
549
00:19:50,241 --> 00:19:51,310
Oh, fine.
550
00:19:51,379 --> 00:19:53,448
I just got the wind
poked out of me.
551
00:19:58,448 --> 00:19:59,689
Sabrina, you got to help me.
552
00:19:59,758 --> 00:20:01,896
Miles, I already told
you, a q-tip and a smile.
553
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,655
No, today'’s the big day.
554
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,827
Over there is Mary quizzenberry
555
00:20:06,896 --> 00:20:08,931
and in here is the
wisdom and knowledge
556
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,931
that i'’ve gleaned
from the fair sex.
557
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,827
Oh, and you want me
to videotape the moment
558
00:20:12,896 --> 00:20:14,103
when she falls into your arms
559
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,586
and you ride off
into the sunset?
560
00:20:15,655 --> 00:20:17,793
I'’ll settle for buying
her a cup of decaf.
561
00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:19,586
Okay, here goes.
562
00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:24,551
You are looking at a confident,
charismatic, clean-eared man
563
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:27,172
who'’s dangerous,
yet mysteriously aloof.
564
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:31,000
Why do I feel like
this is going to be
565
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:32,827
an incredibly short
version of the Titanic?
566
00:20:32,896 --> 00:20:35,655
Hello, i'’m...
567
00:20:35,724 --> 00:20:39,034
I'’m not going to tell
you who I am, right away
568
00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:41,655
because i'’m slightly mysterious
569
00:20:41,724 --> 00:20:44,344
but I must warn you,
i'’m also dangerous
570
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:47,551
and you could
eat out of this ear.
571
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:50,620
Ooh, I think we
just hit an iceberg!
572
00:20:50,689 --> 00:20:52,448
Want to have coffee?
573
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:54,172
Are you insane?
574
00:20:54,241 --> 00:20:57,586
There'’s absolutely no way
i'’d go out for coffee with you.
575
00:20:57,655 --> 00:21:00,241
Didn'’t think so.
576
00:21:00,310 --> 00:21:02,689
Time to bring out the lifeboats.
577
00:21:05,172 --> 00:21:06,310
Hey.
578
00:21:06,379 --> 00:21:07,137
Yeah?
579
00:21:07,206 --> 00:21:09,000
I am free for dinner tonight.
580
00:21:17,379 --> 00:21:19,275
I love a happy ending.
42431
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