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1
00:00:02,034 --> 00:00:04,413
Ah, this beautiful
Carol takes me back.
2
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:05,896
Mumsy would hum it
3
00:00:05,965 --> 00:00:07,413
while she baked gingerbread,
4
00:00:07,482 --> 00:00:10,034
till she realized that the
oven was set too high,
5
00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:11,965
and then the
screaming would start.
6
00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:14,379
Oh, I love Christmas.
7
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,448
Salem, I hate to
throw a wet yule log
8
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,793
on your warm hearth
of Christmas memories,
9
00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:21,862
but Zelda and I aren'’t
getting you an 18-wheel big rig.
10
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:23,758
But it'’s all I asked for.
11
00:00:23,827 --> 00:00:25,896
Face it. You'’re bad with gears.
12
00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:29,000
Fine. I Don'’t need your
gifts because this year
13
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:32,379
my true love is sending
me the 12 days of Christmas.
14
00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,034
Who is your true love?
15
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:35,931
Moi. i ordered it
16
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,724
from the other realm'’s
online 89-cent store.
17
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:40,310
Oh, I love the 89-cent store
18
00:00:40,379 --> 00:00:42,275
except for that
exact-change rule.
19
00:00:42,344 --> 00:00:46,586
It'’s a beautiful way for
me to tell me, "I love me."
20
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:49,724
Oh! This endless cold
snap is making mesnap.
21
00:00:49,793 --> 00:00:51,896
This is the worst time of year.
22
00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:53,862
You'’re not anti-Christmas
again, are you?
23
00:00:53,931 --> 00:00:56,793
No. I'’m anti-windy, subfreezing,
post-apocalyptic weather.
24
00:00:56,862 --> 00:00:58,206
I lovechristmas.
25
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,896
Oh. Salem, it says here
26
00:01:01,965 --> 00:01:04,586
your first 12 days of Christmas
present is about to arrive.
27
00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:08,655
Salem: Danny bonaduce!
28
00:01:08,724 --> 00:01:11,689
This is the best partridge
in a pear tree I could ask for.
29
00:01:11,758 --> 00:01:13,206
Happy holidays, everyone.
30
00:01:13,275 --> 00:01:14,793
Cool. Eggnog.
31
00:01:14,862 --> 00:01:16,344
You got any ham?
32
00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:17,448
Back...
33
00:01:17,517 --> 00:01:19,000
In the tree, bonaduce.
34
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:21,724
I got to get a better agent.
35
00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:26,310
♪
36
00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:39,241
♪ Secrets
37
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,034
♪ you'’re never gonna know ♪
38
00:01:41,103 --> 00:01:42,655
♪ you'’re never gonna get it ♪
39
00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:45,034
♪ nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
40
00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:48,758
♪ secrets, secrets
41
00:01:48,827 --> 00:01:51,448
♪ secrets.
42
00:01:51,517 --> 00:01:53,931
♪
43
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,862
Okay, I am terrified
of going outside.
44
00:01:57,931 --> 00:01:59,655
If I see my breath
one more time,
45
00:01:59,724 --> 00:02:01,310
i'’m going to smack
it upside its head.
46
00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:02,931
Man [on radio]:
And now it'’s time
47
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,551
for wwbg'’s Christmas
getaway contest.
48
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:05,872
The first caller to answer
this question correctly
49
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:07,931
will win four free tickets
for a week-long trip
50
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,344
to tropical Jamaica,
starting Christmas day.
51
00:02:10,413 --> 00:02:12,724
What? Jamaica? Four tickets?
52
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,241
One, two, three... and a mortal.
53
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:15,551
We could bring Harvey!
54
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,310
Oh, wait. We
have to win it first.
55
00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:19,103
The subject is science.
56
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,965
Oh, science... we won!
57
00:02:21,034 --> 00:02:22,310
Aunt Zelda, just answer it.
58
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:24,482
Sabrina, I Don'’t know
everything about science.
59
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:25,551
You think you do.
60
00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,068
Here'’s our question:
61
00:02:28,137 --> 00:02:30,793
What parameter measures
the relative magnitude
62
00:02:30,862 --> 00:02:34,206
of viscous forces to coriolis
forces in the rotating flow
63
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:35,827
of viscous
incompressible fluids?
64
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:37,862
Well, everyone and
his donkey knows that.
65
00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:38,862
Eckman number.
66
00:02:38,931 --> 00:02:39,862
That'’s correct.
67
00:02:39,931 --> 00:02:41,206
♪ We'’re going to Jamaica ♪
68
00:02:41,275 --> 00:02:42,517
♪ we'’re going to Jamaica. ♪
69
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:44,379
This man says we'’re
going to Jamaica.
70
00:02:44,448 --> 00:02:46,596
Oh, my gosh. Harvey and I
are going to have so much fun.
71
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:47,907
And i'’m sure
there'’s old-age stuff
72
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:49,113
for you guys to do there, too.
73
00:02:49,137 --> 00:02:50,689
Sabrina, Zelda won the tickets.
74
00:02:50,758 --> 00:02:52,827
She should pick the
mortal of her choice.
75
00:02:52,896 --> 00:02:54,586
I vote for Antonio banderas.
76
00:02:54,655 --> 00:02:55,689
Oh, please.
77
00:02:56,689 --> 00:02:57,827
Of course Harvey can come.
78
00:02:57,896 --> 00:02:59,137
Thank you, aunt Zelda.
79
00:02:59,206 --> 00:03:01,448
You'’re the greatest
aunt who ever lived. Aw.
80
00:03:01,517 --> 00:03:03,689
Don'’t worry. Second place
is nothing to be ashamed of.
81
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,965
[Bell ringing]
82
00:03:07,034 --> 00:03:09,620
So, Harvey, you have
any plans for Christmas?
83
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,000
Well, my mom'’s taking
84
00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:13,344
my little brother and
the baby to visit grandma,
85
00:03:13,413 --> 00:03:15,931
so that means it'’ll just be
me, dad and his patented
86
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,068
"the working man never
gets a break" speech.
87
00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:19,034
Fantastic. Well, I mean,
88
00:03:19,103 --> 00:03:20,251
I have a great surprise for you.
89
00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,758
Just Don'’t make
any plans for a week
90
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,068
starting Christmas day, okay?
91
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:24,586
Well, I was going to go
92
00:03:24,655 --> 00:03:26,320
to the Freddy krueger
marathon at the revival house.
93
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,904
No, no, no. Don'’t
buy tickets for that.
94
00:03:27,965 --> 00:03:30,413
Do you hear me? Don'’t
make plans. Do not make plans.
95
00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,034
Okay, I won'’t make plans.
96
00:03:32,103 --> 00:03:33,896
No, no, even planning
not to make plans
97
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:35,241
smacks of making plans.
98
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:36,448
Don'’t.
99
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,827
[Wind gusting]
100
00:03:37,896 --> 00:03:39,310
Ooh...
101
00:03:39,379 --> 00:03:42,758
Oh... I have never seen
the clock shop so busy.
102
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:44,655
My feet are killing me.
103
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,172
Oh, my cheeks are killing me.
104
00:03:47,275 --> 00:03:48,931
From smiling at the customers.
105
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,379
Pretending to be
polite is so exhausting.
106
00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:53,517
Salem: Look at
these two turtle doves.
107
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:56,034
They'’re just turtles
with wings stapled on.
108
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,965
Since when did the 89-cent store
109
00:03:58,034 --> 00:04:00,517
start selling cheap and
shoddy merchandise?
110
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:02,862
Maybe they really can fly.
111
00:04:02,931 --> 00:04:06,344
No, they'’d have to
be alive to do that.
112
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,000
Ready?
113
00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:12,275
This almost makes me
wish I wasn'’t Muslim.
114
00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:13,862
Yeah, but you'’d
miss the flat bread.
115
00:04:13,931 --> 00:04:15,113
Should we leave the tree naked?
116
00:04:15,137 --> 00:04:17,241
No, children might see it.
117
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,068
Hey!
118
00:04:29,137 --> 00:04:33,724
Sabrina, tell your aunt Zelda
that grammy'’s going to Vegas
119
00:04:33,793 --> 00:04:35,344
and she will not take me.
120
00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:38,000
So, now that Zelda
is off to Jamaica,
121
00:04:38,068 --> 00:04:41,206
i'’m spending another
Christmas alone.
122
00:04:41,275 --> 00:04:42,675
I'’m sorry. Oh, and
you can add this.
123
00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:44,206
[Blows raspberry]
124
00:04:46,827 --> 00:04:48,000
What was that?
125
00:04:48,068 --> 00:04:50,551
My principal-slash-
aunt'’s boyfriend,
126
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,551
and it'’s sort of my fault
that he'’s going to be
127
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:53,862
alone-slash-sad on Christmas.
128
00:04:53,931 --> 00:04:56,103
Yeah, see, I would have
blamed the personality.
129
00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:58,310
Maybe I should talk to him.
130
00:04:58,379 --> 00:05:01,000
[Evil laughter]
131
00:05:04,724 --> 00:05:08,413
I ho-ho-hope you
all enjoy the holidays.
132
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,310
[Cackles]
133
00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:11,448
[Laughing]
134
00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:13,931
They'’re the three
French hens I ordered,
135
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,068
and they'’re not what
I had in mind at all.
136
00:05:17,241 --> 00:05:20,241
Okay, I give up
trying to keep pace
137
00:05:20,310 --> 00:05:21,482
with teen fashion.
138
00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:22,620
It'’s for Jamaica...
139
00:05:22,689 --> 00:05:24,458
Harvey and I are going
to frolic with the fishes.
140
00:05:24,482 --> 00:05:26,068
I mean, since we can'’t gamble.
141
00:05:26,137 --> 00:05:27,700
Man [on radio]: We
interrupt this program
142
00:05:27,724 --> 00:05:28,803
to bring you a special
weather bulletin.
143
00:05:28,827 --> 00:05:29,976
Due to severe winter conditions,
144
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,251
all airports on the
eastern seaboard
145
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:32,827
have been closed indefinitely.
146
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:34,241
No! You can'’t do that!
147
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:36,896
You can'’t ruin mine
and Harvey'’s vacation!
148
00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:38,206
I know you'’re disappointed,
149
00:05:38,275 --> 00:05:39,655
but look on the bright side.
150
00:05:39,724 --> 00:05:41,068
It'’ll be a white Christmas.
151
00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:42,206
That'’s pretty cool, huh?
152
00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,931
And we'’ll all be together.
153
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,113
That'’s the important thing.
154
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,827
Oh, you'’re talking crazy talk.
155
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,517
Great. I'’ve just
been called "crazy"
156
00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:52,586
by someone in a rubber suit.
157
00:05:52,655 --> 00:05:54,965
No two snowflakes
are alike, my butt.
158
00:05:55,034 --> 00:05:58,655
You'’re all united in your
mission to ruin my Christmas!
159
00:05:58,724 --> 00:06:00,655
You know, Mark twain once said,
160
00:06:00,724 --> 00:06:02,586
"gee, this mustache itches."
161
00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,724
And he also said, "everyone
talks about the weather,
162
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:08,034
but no one does
anything about it."
163
00:06:08,103 --> 00:06:09,303
Oh, so what you'’re saying is,
164
00:06:09,344 --> 00:06:11,241
I should use my magic
to change the weather?
165
00:06:11,310 --> 00:06:12,310
What a great idea.
166
00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:13,172
Hmm.
167
00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:14,448
So that I may be able
168
00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:15,689
to travel freely,
169
00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:17,931
send the snow
away, I mean it, really.
170
00:06:19,551 --> 00:06:21,517
The snow! It stopped!
171
00:06:21,586 --> 00:06:22,896
It stopped!
172
00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:30,517
Looks like the spell went wrong
173
00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:31,896
in an unexpected way.
174
00:06:31,965 --> 00:06:34,586
How unusual.
175
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:37,000
This look is not going to
work with my new bikini.
176
00:06:39,379 --> 00:06:41,241
We'’re swamped and
we'’re shorthanded.
177
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:43,172
Why do they only
loan prisoners out
178
00:06:43,241 --> 00:06:45,724
to clean highways?
179
00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,758
Let'’s get some help
from the other realm.
180
00:06:47,827 --> 00:06:49,724
To help us cope with
the Christmas rush,
181
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,068
send us workers in a hurry...
182
00:06:51,137 --> 00:06:52,137
In other words, mush.
183
00:06:55,034 --> 00:06:56,551
You two look
like Santa'’s elves.
184
00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:59,275
The uniforms
always give us away.
185
00:06:59,344 --> 00:07:00,241
I'’m Powell.
186
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:01,862
This is pressburger.
187
00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:03,793
It says here you left
Santa'’s workshop
188
00:07:03,862 --> 00:07:05,172
over creative differences.
189
00:07:05,241 --> 00:07:06,241
Please elaborate.
190
00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,395
I Don'’t want to slam Santa,
191
00:07:07,448 --> 00:07:09,034
but let me put it
to you this way...
192
00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:10,931
He doesn'’t have much
of a sense of humor
193
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,275
when it comes to fat jokes,
not even the funny ones.
194
00:07:13,344 --> 00:07:16,137
And that kiss between me and
Mrs. Claus... there was mistletoe
195
00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:18,103
all over the workshop,
for crying out loud.
196
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,551
So tell me about
your years at Harvard.
197
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,620
Complete fabrication.
198
00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:24,586
Thank goodness. You'’re hired.
199
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:28,655
Christmas elves!
200
00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:30,931
What a great
promotional gimmick.
201
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,206
Hey, lady, sensurround
was a gimmick; We work here.
202
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:38,517
I'’m feeling a little warm.
203
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,931
Turn the air conditioning
all the way up before I melt.
204
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,137
Hurry! Okay, okay!
205
00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:44,068
Boy, whenever the
molecular structure
206
00:07:44,137 --> 00:07:45,517
of your body changes,
207
00:07:45,586 --> 00:07:47,689
you become really irritable.
208
00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:49,000
I'’m remembering
209
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:51,379
a formula I learned in
seventh-grade science.
210
00:07:51,448 --> 00:07:53,827
A burning hot electrical
bulb equals heat!
211
00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:55,137
Don'’t worry, Sabrina.
212
00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:57,758
I'’ll figure out a way
to keep you cool
213
00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:00,379
until you can figure out a
way to reverse the spell.
214
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,379
Figuring stuff out is
not our strong suit, is it?
215
00:08:04,448 --> 00:08:05,793
Hey, stop drinking that!
216
00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:08,068
That'’s my
unreconstituted right leg.
217
00:08:09,482 --> 00:08:10,482
Sabrina?
218
00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:11,517
What happened?
219
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:12,793
What'’s with the puddle?
220
00:08:12,862 --> 00:08:15,103
I, uh, had a little accident.
221
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:20,827
We can'’t reverse the spell.
222
00:08:20,896 --> 00:08:22,448
The only way to plead your case
223
00:08:22,517 --> 00:08:24,931
is to go directly to mother
nature. Can we do it now?
224
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,586
In the words of
another famous witch...
225
00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:28,448
I'’m melting!
226
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:29,965
Hello, Steve? Hurricane Steve?
227
00:08:30,034 --> 00:08:31,517
Yeah, this is mother nature.
228
00:08:31,586 --> 00:08:34,310
I need you to make a swing
through the Virgin Islands
229
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:35,551
later this week.
230
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,862
Don'’t give me any of that
231
00:08:36,931 --> 00:08:38,758
"i'’m just a tropical
storm" business.
232
00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:41,344
Get off your tailwinds and get
down there, pronto.[Knocking]
233
00:08:41,413 --> 00:08:42,827
Mother nature?
234
00:08:42,896 --> 00:08:43,724
Um...
235
00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:44,931
We'’re sorry to bother you.
236
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,793
She'’s Zelda spellman,
i'’m hilda spellman,
237
00:08:46,862 --> 00:08:49,068
and this is our
niece Sabrina. Hey!
238
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,275
Sorry for my appearance.
239
00:08:50,344 --> 00:08:52,010
I'’m a little pail right
now.[Rimshot plays]
240
00:08:52,034 --> 00:08:53,458
Oh, I know you. You'’re
the selfish little brat
241
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:54,620
who changed the weather.
242
00:08:54,689 --> 00:08:55,803
Sabrina: Yeah, but that'’s all
243
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,413
water under the bridge.
244
00:08:57,482 --> 00:08:58,941
In fact, i'’mwater under
the bridge.[Rimshot plays]
245
00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:01,379
This spell always makes
people talk in puns... I hate that.
246
00:09:01,448 --> 00:09:02,931
And you should
know that the snow
247
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,241
was stopping tonight anyway.
248
00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,586
Whoo-hoo. I'’m Jamaica-bound.
249
00:09:05,655 --> 00:09:06,793
In a thermos.[Rimshot plays]
250
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:08,241
What Sabrina did was wrong,
251
00:09:08,310 --> 00:09:10,172
but she is a
first-time offender.
252
00:09:10,241 --> 00:09:11,689
Can'’t you please
change her back?
253
00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:13,206
Teenagers are
enough of a handful
254
00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,206
without them clogging
our drainage systems.
255
00:09:15,275 --> 00:09:16,482
Oh, it is christmastime,
256
00:09:16,551 --> 00:09:18,586
and I Don'’t want to
be unseasonably mean,
257
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:19,655
so, okay.
258
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:25,551
Ah, thanks.
259
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,458
Well, i'’m sure there'’s a third
world town you need to reduce
260
00:09:27,482 --> 00:09:28,562
to rubble, so we'’d
better get going.
261
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,596
Just a minute, young lady,
262
00:09:29,620 --> 00:09:30,838
you'’re not getting
off that easily.
263
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:33,103
I'’m going to punch some
data into my super-computer,
264
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:34,793
which will scientifically decide
265
00:09:34,862 --> 00:09:36,482
the most severe
punishment for you.
266
00:09:36,551 --> 00:09:39,965
Oh, no. What terrible
fate awaits me?
267
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:42,137
Not a tornado!
268
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,482
Ow! Ow! Not hail!
269
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:48,379
Oh, no, not lightning!
270
00:09:50,137 --> 00:09:51,448
[Computer trilling]
271
00:09:51,517 --> 00:09:53,517
You must spend time
with a certain Willard kraft
272
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:54,517
and cheer him up.
273
00:09:54,586 --> 00:09:55,586
No!
274
00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:57,896
How about a little hail?!
275
00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,310
Oh, be strong, honey, be strong.
276
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:02,413
Here, wear this Christmas
tree pin on your lapel.
277
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,827
When the star on the
pin lights up like this,
278
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,416
Mr. Kraft will be
sufficiently cheered,
279
00:10:06,482 --> 00:10:07,700
and your punishment
will be over.
280
00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:09,827
Great. On top of
everything else,
281
00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:11,862
I have to wear
an ugly accessory.
282
00:10:11,931 --> 00:10:13,724
I can'’t find
Mr. Kraft anywhere,
283
00:10:13,793 --> 00:10:15,827
and i'’ve called all
his usual haunts...
284
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:17,206
His home, custer'’s steak house,
285
00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:19,137
pat Buchanan for
president headquarters...
286
00:10:19,206 --> 00:10:21,137
Have you tried westbridge high?
287
00:10:21,206 --> 00:10:23,389
Oh, come on. Being at school
during Christmas vacation...
288
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:24,689
That'’s beyond pathetic.
289
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,034
That'’s patholog...
That'’s where he is!
290
00:10:28,413 --> 00:10:29,344
[Rumbling]
291
00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:31,241
Oh-oh-oh...
292
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:33,758
It'’s the nine ladies dancing...
293
00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:35,275
Nine of the largest,
294
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:38,103
most ungraceful
ladies you'’ll ever meet.
295
00:10:38,172 --> 00:10:39,482
Knock it off!
296
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,793
Some of us are trying to
sleep away the morning!
297
00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:44,275
That'’s odd.
298
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,551
We'’re missing money
from the cash register.
299
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,172
Well, I know
you didn'’t take it,
300
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,275
and I know I didn'’t take
it, so who could it be?
301
00:10:50,344 --> 00:10:52,103
We'’re going to the
bank to make a deposit.
302
00:10:52,172 --> 00:10:53,172
We'’ll be back in five.
303
00:10:53,206 --> 00:10:54,275
See ya.
304
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,931
Who could it be?
305
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,482
[Chuckling]: Yes.
I found some kids
306
00:11:00,551 --> 00:11:03,379
that are qualified
for suspension.
307
00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:04,931
What are you doing here?
308
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,482
Uh, I just came by to see
309
00:11:06,551 --> 00:11:07,941
what your favorite kind
of Christmas food is.
310
00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:09,586
Figgy pudding. Go away.
311
00:11:09,655 --> 00:11:11,241
That'’s so funny,
because I was thinking
312
00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,113
about you this afternoon, and
I was thinking, "he looks like
313
00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,551
a figgy pudding
kind of guy," so...
314
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,896
I baked you this.
315
00:11:17,965 --> 00:11:20,310
Do you think i'’m a fool?
316
00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:21,724
Rhetorical question?
317
00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:24,482
This was not baked with
love but just to curry favor
318
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:28,620
with the man in
power, but guess what.
319
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:30,413
I'’m going to eat all of it.
320
00:11:34,103 --> 00:11:35,379
I'’ve got it.
321
00:11:35,448 --> 00:11:37,620
Powell and pressburger
stole our money.
322
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:40,620
Hilda, you always
suspect the worst in people.
323
00:11:40,689 --> 00:11:43,482
Come on, have some
faith in your fellow man.
324
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,241
But just in case
325
00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:48,137
the little hooligans
snatched the dough,
326
00:11:48,206 --> 00:11:49,827
let'’s watch the
surveillance camera.
327
00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:54,620
Even when you hire
people you Don'’t know
328
00:11:54,689 --> 00:11:55,862
on the spur of the moment,
329
00:11:55,931 --> 00:11:57,448
it can still backfire on you.
330
00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,206
Oh, it makes me so mad!
331
00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:02,551
Hilda, this is the
Christmas season.
332
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,103
We must have compassion.
333
00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,551
Zelda: Powell, pressburger,
334
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:07,413
straighten up the
back room, okay?
335
00:12:07,482 --> 00:12:08,689
Sure thing.
336
00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:10,517
"Straighten up the
back room, okay?"
337
00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:12,275
[Laughing]
338
00:12:13,551 --> 00:12:15,793
Those felonious
little rogue elves.
339
00:12:15,862 --> 00:12:17,413
Oh, come on, lighten up.
340
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:18,482
"Look at me.
341
00:12:18,517 --> 00:12:19,448
"I'’m hilda.
342
00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:20,655
"I own a clock shop.
343
00:12:20,724 --> 00:12:22,965
I pay minimum wage."
344
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:26,206
Okay. They'’re sled kill.
345
00:12:26,275 --> 00:12:28,172
[Bagpipes and drums
playing Irish music loudly]
346
00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,241
12 drummers drumming,
11 pipers piping.
347
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,517
One cat crumbling.
348
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,551
Oh... turn it off.
349
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,862
Turn it off!
350
00:12:35,931 --> 00:12:38,448
Sabrina: That was good, huh?
351
00:12:38,517 --> 00:12:39,517
Yes, it was.
352
00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:40,872
And you'’re feeling
cheerful now, huh?
353
00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:42,113
Well, I can feel
the sugar surging
354
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,000
through my body, giving
me comfort. You can?
355
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:46,034
Yes, and I can feel that now
356
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:49,137
my sugar rush is officially
over. Oh, no. We'’re getting
357
00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:51,793
further and further away
from the land of cheerful.
358
00:12:51,862 --> 00:12:54,896
I Don'’t really care
for this time of year.
359
00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:57,724
Oh, i'’m never going
to get to Jamaica.
360
00:12:57,793 --> 00:13:00,000
Oh. Okay, let'’s snap out of it.
361
00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:01,379
Who wants to go for a walk?
362
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,448
Not me.
363
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,517
Great. Let'’s go.
364
00:13:03,586 --> 00:13:05,034
No...
365
00:13:05,103 --> 00:13:07,793
I just want to remind
you two that Christmas
366
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:09,758
isn'’t just about getting stuff
367
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:12,068
or say... money.
368
00:13:12,137 --> 00:13:13,482
It'’s also about
369
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:17,551
honesty and overcoming
your bad impulses.
370
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,965
That'’s a good point.
371
00:13:19,034 --> 00:13:20,394
In fact, we'’ve
gone out of our way
372
00:13:20,448 --> 00:13:22,413
not to get drunk
during business hours.
373
00:13:24,862 --> 00:13:27,379
Oh, we'’re at zoo-zoo'’s store.
374
00:13:27,448 --> 00:13:28,965
Hi, monkey.
375
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,068
Aunt Zelda, I need to
speak with you alone.
376
00:13:31,137 --> 00:13:32,931
I can'’t hear.
377
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,689
I have tried everything.
378
00:13:34,758 --> 00:13:37,000
I was pushing him at the
park at the swings just now
379
00:13:37,068 --> 00:13:38,413
and not even so
much as a "whee!"
380
00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:39,896
You'’ve got to help me.
381
00:13:39,965 --> 00:13:42,827
Oh, honey, i'’d drop everything
in a second to help my Willard,
382
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:45,275
but according to mother
nature, i'’m not allowed to.
383
00:13:45,344 --> 00:13:48,206
It'’s your punishment
to cheer him up.
384
00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:52,241
Oh, I can hear again.
385
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:54,517
Yeah. How'’s that for
cheerful, good news?
386
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,000
[Sighs] Is this thing on?
387
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,517
Mr. Kraft, why are
you so miserable
388
00:13:58,586 --> 00:13:59,896
at christmastime?
389
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,448
Because i'’ve never
had a good one...
390
00:14:02,517 --> 00:14:04,965
At least none that
I can remember.
391
00:14:05,034 --> 00:14:06,655
Maybe I can help.
392
00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:10,724
Uh, this area is
for employees only.
393
00:14:10,793 --> 00:14:12,103
What'’s wrong with me?
394
00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:13,827
Did I just say, "what'’s
wrong with me?"
395
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,010
Because I couldn'’t hear it.
396
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,172
I'’m going to take Mr. Kraft
397
00:14:16,241 --> 00:14:17,862
back through the
grandfather time clock
398
00:14:17,931 --> 00:14:19,551
so that he can remember
a good Christmas
399
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,724
and get out of this funk
and I can go to Jamaica.
400
00:14:21,793 --> 00:14:24,655
All right, well, if you leave
him back there, I didn'’t see you.
401
00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:26,241
[Tinkling]
402
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:27,631
Mr. Kraft, uh, this
grandfather clock
403
00:14:27,655 --> 00:14:28,655
will cheer you up.
404
00:14:28,689 --> 00:14:30,000
Thank goodness,
I can hear again.
405
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:31,068
There is nothing worse
406
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:32,689
than losing your hearing!
407
00:14:32,758 --> 00:14:34,103
[Grunting]
408
00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:37,000
You see that sad,
409
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:39,448
lost, lonely looking
boy over there?
410
00:14:39,517 --> 00:14:40,586
The one with the coal?
411
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:43,310
I'’m the even more
pathetic kid next to him.
412
00:14:47,172 --> 00:14:49,000
You think this is bad?
413
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,655
You should see me a few
years from now at the orphanage.
414
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,931
Oh, no, not an orphanage.
415
00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,068
Mr. Kraft, which one are you?
416
00:15:00,137 --> 00:15:01,241
That'’s me
417
00:15:01,310 --> 00:15:03,413
on the outside, as usual.
418
00:15:03,482 --> 00:15:06,724
I didn'’t have it good
like those orphans.
419
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:08,620
Oh, how I envied them.
420
00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:10,448
Didn'’t you have
one happy Christmas
421
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:11,758
in your whole life?
422
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,379
Merry Christmas, Willard.
423
00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:15,517
A sled? Oh, boy.
424
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:18,413
I wish i'’d gotten this
beforei moved to Miami,
425
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:19,758
but I Don'’t care.
426
00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:21,413
This is great!
427
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:25,689
[Sled scraping]
428
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,586
Willard! You'’re
scratching the pavement!
429
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:32,379
That was a good Christmas.
430
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:35,103
Whoo-hoo! I'’m going to Jamaica!
431
00:15:35,172 --> 00:15:38,310
What'’s that? Uh...
432
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,758
[No audio]
433
00:15:42,827 --> 00:15:45,413
and they lived
happily every after.
434
00:15:45,482 --> 00:15:48,620
Who did? Oh, Mr. Kraft,
did you go deaf again?
435
00:15:48,689 --> 00:15:49,689
Yes.
436
00:15:49,724 --> 00:15:51,586
You know, you had that
glazed look on your face
437
00:15:51,655 --> 00:15:53,344
during my whole story
like you were in some
438
00:15:53,413 --> 00:15:54,613
reflective revealing daydream.
439
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:57,517
It was the most powerful
daydream of my life.
440
00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:59,103
You know what, Sabrina?
441
00:15:59,172 --> 00:16:00,586
I think I figured out
442
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,827
the secret to a happy Christmas.
443
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:03,827
Really? What is it?
444
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,275
Low expectations.
445
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:09,724
As long as you look at
Christmas as just one other day
446
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:13,172
in the long endless
drudgery that is life,
447
00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:17,517
then you won'’t be disappointed
when joy doesn'’t come.
448
00:16:17,586 --> 00:16:20,965
Well, i'’m glad I
could cheer you up.
449
00:16:21,034 --> 00:16:22,758
Merry Christmas.
450
00:16:22,827 --> 00:16:24,931
Yeah, mer-merry Christmas.
451
00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:32,344
[Sighs]
452
00:16:32,413 --> 00:16:35,275
Hilda, there doesn'’t seem
to be any money missing.
453
00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:38,000
Let'’s check the security
camera just to be sure.
454
00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:39,448
That Zelda woman was right.
455
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:41,517
It was wrong for us
to take that money.
456
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:42,758
Oh, the little dears.
457
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,275
They put the money back.
458
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:46,620
You see? I knew if
I just lectured them,
459
00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:48,275
it would do them some good.
460
00:16:48,344 --> 00:16:49,896
Wait. Do you see the lady
461
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,965
who just came in the store?
462
00:16:52,034 --> 00:16:53,344
Is she shoplifting?
463
00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:55,413
No, no, I think she'’s looking.
464
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:57,241
Oh, well, thank goodness
465
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:58,896
for surveillance cameras.
466
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:00,586
Yeah.
467
00:17:00,655 --> 00:17:02,827
They were onto us
about the money,
468
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:04,827
but they'’ll never miss a clock.
469
00:17:04,896 --> 00:17:06,517
I love this time of year.
470
00:17:06,586 --> 00:17:07,931
[Doorbell rings]
471
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,655
Come in.
472
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:11,310
Hey.
473
00:17:11,379 --> 00:17:12,896
Merry Christmas Eve.
474
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,310
Oh, back at ya.
475
00:17:16,137 --> 00:17:18,000
Here'’s your present.
476
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:21,965
Harvey, a diamond bracelet?
477
00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:25,000
Actually, it'’s "I can'’t
believe it'’s not diamonds."
478
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:27,241
Twice as shiny but at
a fraction of the cost.
479
00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:29,206
Well, I love it... It
will look great with
480
00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,137
my "almost onyx"
necklace you gave me.
481
00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,931
Tickets?
482
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,896
Oh, passes to the
Freddie krueger marathon
483
00:17:35,965 --> 00:17:37,758
at the revival house.
484
00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:39,965
I won'’t sleep for
a week. Thanks.
485
00:17:40,034 --> 00:17:41,379
Well, speaking of nightmares,
486
00:17:41,448 --> 00:17:43,148
do you want to try the
Christmas cookies I made?
487
00:17:43,172 --> 00:17:44,206
You bet.
488
00:17:44,275 --> 00:17:47,034
I coated my stomach
before I came over.
489
00:17:47,103 --> 00:17:48,931
Movie tickets?
490
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
Then who did she
give the extra ticket to?
491
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:52,148
[Doorbell chimes, knocking]
492
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:54,965
Oh, no.
493
00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:57,862
Zelda spellman,
you foxy Santa claus.
494
00:17:57,931 --> 00:17:59,413
A trip to Jamaica.
495
00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,827
I have never had such
an incredible present.
496
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,896
Well, you know
what a scamp I am.
497
00:18:04,965 --> 00:18:06,793
Oh, excuse me. Um,
zellie, Don'’t we need
498
00:18:06,862 --> 00:18:08,896
to speak to Sabrina alone?
499
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:10,448
Uh, be right back.
500
00:18:10,517 --> 00:18:12,482
Sabrina.
501
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:15,965
You gave Willard
kraft the extra ticket?
502
00:18:16,034 --> 00:18:17,896
And credited it to me?
503
00:18:17,965 --> 00:18:19,758
Look, Mr. Kraft is the
bane of my existence,
504
00:18:19,827 --> 00:18:21,148
but for some reason
I feel he should have
505
00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:22,655
at least one happy Christmas.
506
00:18:22,724 --> 00:18:24,000
I Don'’t know what got into me.
507
00:18:24,068 --> 00:18:25,586
It'’s called the
Christmas spirit.
508
00:18:25,655 --> 00:18:26,655
It'’s called insanity.
509
00:18:28,344 --> 00:18:30,689
Oh, I can hear again.
510
00:18:30,758 --> 00:18:32,596
I didn'’t expect
headphone-related hearing loss
511
00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:34,000
until my 40s.
512
00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:37,034
Well, I guess we'’re
Jamaica-bound.
513
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,103
Ugh! What ever happened
514
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:41,655
to the whole global
warming thing?
515
00:18:41,724 --> 00:18:43,000
Cheer up.
516
00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:45,448
I complained to
the 89-cent store,
517
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:48,068
and they sent me a
baker'’s dozen of doughnuts.
518
00:18:48,137 --> 00:18:49,862
13 crullers calling.
519
00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:51,862
Oh, yeah.
520
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,517
It'’s official.
521
00:18:54,586 --> 00:18:56,655
All airports closed.
522
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,379
Well, at least we
all get to stay here
523
00:18:58,448 --> 00:18:59,620
and have a white Christmas.
524
00:18:59,689 --> 00:19:01,344
That'’s the spirit.
525
00:19:01,413 --> 00:19:02,965
And you know what?
526
00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:05,172
If we can'’t go to Jamaica,
527
00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:06,724
then...
528
00:19:06,793 --> 00:19:09,827
We'’ll bring Jamaica here.
529
00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,241
Yeah, mon!
530
00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:14,206
[Playing reggae version
of "joy to the world"]
531
00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:15,448
Wow.
532
00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:17,896
This is way better
than a fruitcake.
533
00:19:17,965 --> 00:19:19,482
Harvey.
534
00:19:19,551 --> 00:19:22,034
Hey, even though 10,000
people are without electricity,
535
00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:23,448
i'’m happy you'’re snowed in.
536
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:25,068
I get to spend
Christmas with you.
537
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:26,517
Well, let'’s grab a refreshment
538
00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:27,965
and groove to the reggae, mon.
539
00:19:30,551 --> 00:19:33,000
Does anybody want to buy a pair
540
00:19:33,068 --> 00:19:35,241
of slightly used bermudas?
541
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:36,896
I really see this, right?
542
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:38,793
This is not another daydream?
543
00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,620
I'’m sorry about
the snow, monkey.
544
00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:43,103
I know how much you
wanted to go to Jamaica.
545
00:19:43,172 --> 00:19:44,482
I do not care.
546
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,310
I am not alone on Christmas.
547
00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:47,482
Let'’s boogie!
548
00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,241
It was a show.
549
00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:51,310
Get over it.
550
00:19:51,344 --> 00:19:53,896
There was no real Ruben Kincaid.
551
00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:56,551
[Squawking]
552
00:20:02,206 --> 00:20:03,344
Powell, pressburger.
553
00:20:05,172 --> 00:20:06,689
Oh, what a lovely gesture,
554
00:20:06,758 --> 00:20:08,931
but we actually
have a lot of clocks.
555
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,344
Not as many as you think.
556
00:20:10,413 --> 00:20:12,000
We stole this, but we'’re sorry.
557
00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:15,379
Well, the important thing
is, you righted a wrong.
558
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,137
And we heard you
had jerk chicken.
559
00:20:19,379 --> 00:20:20,827
I Don'’t mean to
pick on your elves,
560
00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:23,517
but aren'’t you mixing themes?
561
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,068
What a great Christmas.
562
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,068
But it'’s strange how
it started snowing.
563
00:20:28,137 --> 00:20:30,413
Mother nature said it
was supposed to warm up.
564
00:20:30,482 --> 00:20:32,000
Well, uh...
565
00:20:32,068 --> 00:20:33,482
Wait a minute.
566
00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:34,827
Where'’s hilda?
567
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,172
Aunt hilda?
568
00:20:36,241 --> 00:20:37,965
Yes, I admit it, i'’m selfish.
569
00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:39,275
But there was no way
570
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:41,379
I was going to Jamaica
with Willard kraft.
571
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:06,275
♪
572
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,862
All: Happy holidays, everybody!
40702
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