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1
00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:03,862
Toast is up.
2
00:00:03,931 --> 00:00:06,344
That'’s odd. We
weren'’t making toast.
3
00:00:06,413 --> 00:00:07,413
Oh, no!
4
00:00:08,482 --> 00:00:10,068
It'’s a chain letter.
5
00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:12,344
There are no metaphors in
the other realm, are there?
6
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,586
And other realm chain
letters are the worst.
7
00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:17,000
If we Don'’t immediately
send strong iron chains
8
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:18,068
to 20 other people
9
00:00:18,137 --> 00:00:19,689
horrible things will befall us.
10
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,551
Okay, so which of
my dearest friends
11
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:22,517
do I hate the most?
12
00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:23,758
Stop right there.
13
00:00:23,827 --> 00:00:26,310
Bad luck is not brought
on by silly superstitions
14
00:00:26,379 --> 00:00:27,724
like chain letters.
15
00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:29,965
You'’re right. They'’re
brought on by black cats.
16
00:00:30,034 --> 00:00:31,862
That is a hateful stereotype.
17
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:34,344
It'’s brought on by
midgets in dresses.
18
00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:36,965
Give me that.
19
00:00:37,034 --> 00:00:39,620
We are going to throw
this chain letter away
20
00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:42,172
and nothing
horrible will happen.
21
00:00:45,758 --> 00:00:48,000
I'’m sure this is
just a coincidence.
22
00:01:06,862 --> 00:01:09,862
If the in-flight movie'’s
bad, i'’m jumping.
23
00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:14,586
A "b"?! What did you get?
24
00:01:14,655 --> 00:01:16,551
A c-minus?!
25
00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:17,862
Wow... this is the first time
26
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:19,517
I ever got a better
grade than you.
27
00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:20,620
Yep. It'’s my paper.
28
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,448
"Your characters are undeveloped
29
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,137
and your plot seems contrived."
30
00:01:24,206 --> 00:01:26,137
Of course it'’s
contrived. I made it up.
31
00:01:26,206 --> 00:01:27,344
Hey, I got a c-plus.
32
00:01:27,413 --> 00:01:28,413
What did you get?
33
00:01:28,482 --> 00:01:29,655
She got a c-minus.
34
00:01:29,724 --> 00:01:31,517
Sabrina got a c-minus?
35
00:01:31,586 --> 00:01:34,413
Sabrina, the genius,
got a c-minus.
36
00:01:34,482 --> 00:01:36,896
I always feel the
"minus" part is personal.
37
00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:39,517
I'’ve never gotten a
c-minus in my whole life.
38
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:45,586
I got to talk to Mr. Franco.
39
00:01:45,655 --> 00:01:47,551
And remember to floss.
40
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:49,000
Mr. Franco, I
wanted to talk to you
41
00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,655
about this c-minus
I got on my paper.
42
00:01:50,724 --> 00:01:52,206
I'’m sure you'’ll
do better next time.
43
00:01:52,275 --> 00:01:54,172
Well, i'’m horribly
upset about it this time.
44
00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:56,103
I'’ve kind of grown
accustomed to getting a'’s.
45
00:01:56,172 --> 00:01:58,172
They really cushion the
blow when I get a pimple
46
00:01:58,241 --> 00:01:59,965
or I have to climb
the rope in gym class.
47
00:02:00,034 --> 00:02:01,931
Sabrina, everyone
gets a "c" once in a while
48
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,827
and no onecan climb
the rope in gym class.
49
00:02:03,896 --> 00:02:05,206
It'’s there to humiliate people.
50
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,689
I should have trusted my
instincts and taken metal shop.
51
00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:09,206
Hey, I got to get to gym class.
52
00:02:09,275 --> 00:02:10,206
We get to climb
53
00:02:10,275 --> 00:02:11,482
the rope today.
54
00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:14,965
[ Speaking incoherently]
55
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,413
So, to recap:
56
00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:21,310
You have done nothing to
respond to this chain letter?
57
00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:22,724
You both held your tongues.
58
00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:24,034
Excellent!
59
00:02:24,103 --> 00:02:26,517
You will find the best
way to stop a chain letter
60
00:02:26,586 --> 00:02:27,724
is to simply ignore it.
61
00:02:29,172 --> 00:02:31,965
Let'’s let the professionals
track down the culprit
62
00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:33,482
and bring him to justice.
63
00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:35,655
[ Speaking incoherently]
64
00:02:35,724 --> 00:02:36,965
You can'’t lose faith.
65
00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:39,034
Of course, if I
must say so myself
66
00:02:39,103 --> 00:02:42,793
I think all of us are
doing a pretty good job.
67
00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:45,068
Okay, ladies...
68
00:02:45,137 --> 00:02:46,344
[ Groans]
69
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:49,068
Oh...
70
00:02:49,137 --> 00:02:53,172
Well, we can'’t catch
everybody now, can we?
71
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:57,551
Sabrina... is something
bothering you?
72
00:02:57,620 --> 00:03:01,241
You look like I do when i'’ve
accidentally eaten apricots.
73
00:03:01,310 --> 00:03:02,103
Your larynx
74
00:03:02,172 --> 00:03:03,931
hasn'’t collapsed, has it?
75
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,862
No. I'’m just working
hard on this story.
76
00:03:05,931 --> 00:03:07,482
I got a c-minus on the last one.
77
00:03:07,551 --> 00:03:08,379
I heard.
78
00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:09,896
I'’m working hard to prove
79
00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:11,448
it was an aberration.
80
00:03:11,517 --> 00:03:13,551
Oh, then, i'’m sure
this one is wonderful.
81
00:03:13,620 --> 00:03:14,655
Let me hear some.
82
00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:16,793
Okay. Well, it'’s supposed
to be a genre piece
83
00:03:16,862 --> 00:03:17,862
so I picked romance.
84
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,137
"Clare looked at Robert
85
00:03:19,206 --> 00:03:20,689
"and Robert looked at Clare.
86
00:03:20,758 --> 00:03:23,103
"Clare and Robert were
looking at each other.
87
00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:24,965
"Clare didn'’t
want to fall in love
88
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:27,206
"but nothing in her
crazy life made sense
89
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,482
and she lost all
feeling in her thumbs."
90
00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:31,551
You Don'’t have to
be good at everything.
91
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,620
Mr. Kraft: Well
92
00:03:32,655 --> 00:03:33,931
if it isn'’t "c-brina."
93
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,172
[ Chortling]
94
00:03:35,241 --> 00:03:37,137
Perhaps you can
improve your grades
95
00:03:37,206 --> 00:03:38,620
by studying in detention.
96
00:03:38,689 --> 00:03:40,034
Detention?! What did I do?
97
00:03:40,103 --> 00:03:41,034
Even John Grisham
98
00:03:41,103 --> 00:03:43,241
has to pick up his trash.
99
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,551
Hmm, missy?
100
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,793
Or should I say miss-c-minus?
101
00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:47,896
[ Laughing]
102
00:03:50,758 --> 00:03:52,034
More sugar for your tea?
103
00:03:52,103 --> 00:03:54,448
This is more awkward
than when we had lunch
104
00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:55,724
with the elephant man.
105
00:03:55,793 --> 00:03:57,655
Please let me send
the chain letters
106
00:03:57,724 --> 00:04:00,034
and get rid of these
annoying curses. Please.
107
00:04:00,103 --> 00:04:02,482
No! We are taking the
postmaster'’s advice
108
00:04:02,551 --> 00:04:03,551
and notgiving in.
109
00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,206
Fine.
110
00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:07,137
Then get your big,
fat hand out of my way.
111
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,034
You get your big, fat
hand out of myway!
112
00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:10,931
Oh!
113
00:04:11,724 --> 00:04:12,103
Oh!
114
00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:13,172
Ow!
115
00:04:13,241 --> 00:04:15,586
You broke my big, fat nail.
116
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,551
Hey, shouldn'’t you be
working on your story?
117
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,655
I'’m trying to find
some stupid inspiration
118
00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:22,931
to write my stupid story.
119
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,172
I recommended she
watch this spy movie.
120
00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:26,827
Is this movie
helping you at all?
121
00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:29,034
Well, so far, it'’s about
a very handsome spy
122
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,206
who drives a sports car
123
00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:32,034
with machine guns
in the headlights.
124
00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:34,586
Beautiful women, an evil
scientist with an eye patch
125
00:04:34,655 --> 00:04:35,655
more beautiful women
126
00:04:35,724 --> 00:04:37,482
and a plot to corner
the uranium market
127
00:04:37,551 --> 00:04:38,827
but i'’m only ten minutes in.
128
00:04:38,896 --> 00:04:40,482
Maybe you'’d be more inspired
129
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:43,310
if you had the classic
accoutrements of a writer.
130
00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:46,034
Gin, night sweats
and a bad marriage?
131
00:04:46,103 --> 00:04:48,482
I was talking about my
old manual typewriter.
132
00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:51,310
It always used to inspire
me when I was in college.
133
00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:53,241
I think it'’s still
up in the attic.
134
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:54,655
Well, i'’ll try anything.
135
00:04:54,724 --> 00:04:56,068
Beats sitting around here
136
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:58,344
with Salem yelling
"bring it on, baby!"
137
00:04:58,413 --> 00:05:01,172
Every time there'’s a
woman on the screen.
138
00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,275
Okay, here goes nothing.
139
00:05:04,344 --> 00:05:06,724
Hopefully, a
well-written nothing.
140
00:05:06,793 --> 00:05:08,655
Let'’s see:
141
00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:13,379
"International spy, Derek kink,
has been given the assignment
142
00:05:13,448 --> 00:05:14,862
of stopping..."
143
00:05:14,931 --> 00:05:16,413
I need a villain.
144
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,689
"Dr. Bad..."
145
00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,689
I'’ll fix that later.
146
00:05:21,758 --> 00:05:24,482
Uh... "An evil scientist
147
00:05:24,551 --> 00:05:26,517
bent on taking
over the world..."
148
00:05:26,586 --> 00:05:28,310
Ha! I'’m good.
149
00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:32,103
Soon, my face will be on the
side of Barnes & noble bags.
150
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,034
[ Laughing]
151
00:05:39,103 --> 00:05:40,379
Hilda!
152
00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:43,241
Go away! I am mailing
these chain letters tonight
153
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,172
and getting rid
of these wolf ears!
154
00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:46,172
No! yes!
155
00:05:46,241 --> 00:05:48,586
[ Siren wailing nearby]
156
00:05:48,655 --> 00:05:51,896
[ Both howling]
157
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:56,551
Where were we?
158
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,620
Yes! no!
159
00:05:57,655 --> 00:05:58,655
Yes! No!
160
00:06:00,379 --> 00:06:02,137
I aced my story. I just know it.
161
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:03,379
I might have blown mine.
162
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:04,655
I wrote a techno thriller
163
00:06:04,724 --> 00:06:05,931
but I set it in the '’20s.
164
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:08,344
"C"?!
165
00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:09,482
But that'’s impossible!
166
00:06:09,551 --> 00:06:11,310
I typed it on a
manual typewriter...
167
00:06:11,379 --> 00:06:13,172
The same kind
William faulkner used
168
00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:15,689
when he wasn'’t passed
out drunk on the veranda.
169
00:06:15,758 --> 00:06:17,931
Well, if it makes
you feel any better
170
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,689
i'’ve gotten so many
cs, my next one'’s free.
171
00:06:20,758 --> 00:06:23,241
And if it makes
you feel any worse
172
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:25,448
I got a "b."
173
00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:28,689
Can I talk to you about this?
174
00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:29,758
Sure.
175
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:31,241
I thought this story was better
176
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,827
but it had some of the same
problems as the first one.
177
00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:35,862
Even though the spy
genre was a good choice
178
00:06:35,931 --> 00:06:37,448
the characters
didn'’t seem real.
179
00:06:37,517 --> 00:06:38,517
Didn'’t seem real?
180
00:06:38,586 --> 00:06:40,172
But I based them
all on real people.
181
00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:42,275
I mean, come on...
Dr. Bad, an evil scientist
182
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:44,689
who kills teenagers with
detention slips of death.
183
00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:46,896
Sound like a certain
"krafty" vice principal?
184
00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:49,724
You give much thought
to that name "Dr. Bad"?
185
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:52,172
"Derek kink"? Harvey kinkle!
186
00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:53,517
I mean, it was
187
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:55,482
practically nonfiction.
188
00:06:55,551 --> 00:06:57,379
That'’s not character
development.
189
00:06:57,448 --> 00:07:00,344
A good writer knows
everything about her characters:
190
00:07:00,413 --> 00:07:03,000
Their history, their
strengths and weaknesses
191
00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:04,758
andwhat motivates them.
192
00:07:04,827 --> 00:07:07,241
I put it in a nice binder.
193
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,344
Oh!
194
00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:09,551
[ Clearing throat]
195
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,103
Shirt untucked.
196
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:13,517
I drew straight from life.
197
00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:16,206
Dr. Bad?!
198
00:07:19,379 --> 00:07:21,344
Here'’s your detention slip...
199
00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:22,758
Of death...
200
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,896
[ Cackles]
201
00:07:24,965 --> 00:07:27,172
Oh, no. My characters
have come to life.
202
00:07:27,241 --> 00:07:29,793
And that means that
student'’s about to die!
203
00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:31,931
[ Explosion]
204
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,172
Oh...
205
00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:36,000
All I did was wear
my skates to school.
206
00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:44,724
And Mr. Franco said that
my characters weren'’t real.
207
00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:47,103
I'’ve got to stop Dr. Bad.
208
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,827
Ah... Lydia...
209
00:07:50,896 --> 00:07:52,379
Lydia kissenkill...
210
00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:55,551
My favorite double agent.
211
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,758
And this is my newest weapon.
212
00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:59,586
The pom bomb.
213
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:01,758
A cheerleader
tosses it at someone...
214
00:08:01,827 --> 00:08:03,103
Say, a spy...
215
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:05,655
And then, rah-rah, sis-boom!
216
00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:07,827
Oh, dear. His head came off.
217
00:08:07,896 --> 00:08:09,379
Oh! [ Giggles]
218
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:10,965
Marvelous what they can do
219
00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:14,068
with a little crepe paper
and plastic explosives.
220
00:08:14,137 --> 00:08:15,827
[ Cackles]
221
00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:18,586
Oh!
222
00:08:18,655 --> 00:08:20,275
About your crashing g.P.A.
223
00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:23,310
There'’s an enrichment
program for remedial students.
224
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,758
They have chocolate milk
225
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:27,344
and once a year, they
take a trip to the zoo.
226
00:08:27,413 --> 00:08:29,241
How did magic get into my story?
227
00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,551
I have to get home
and talk to my aunts.
228
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:32,379
Valerie!
229
00:08:32,448 --> 00:08:32,931
Vivian.
230
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000
Oh, right.
231
00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:35,068
Vivian soontodie.
232
00:08:35,137 --> 00:08:37,275
The beautiful agent who
works with Derek kink.
233
00:08:37,344 --> 00:08:38,517
And unicef.
234
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,310
We have to meet Derek.
235
00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:41,068
I'’d love to, but I really
236
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:42,137
have to get home and...
237
00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:43,862
I have a black belt
in 24 disciplines
238
00:08:43,931 --> 00:08:45,034
of oriental martial arts.
239
00:08:45,103 --> 00:08:46,620
Then clearly, i'’m
coming with you.
240
00:08:48,241 --> 00:08:49,310
Harvey?
241
00:08:49,379 --> 00:08:50,517
Kink'’s the name.
242
00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:51,827
Derek kink.
243
00:08:51,896 --> 00:08:53,965
Of the European special service.
244
00:08:55,137 --> 00:08:56,827
Pineapple smoothie?
245
00:08:56,896 --> 00:08:58,827
Derek, we have to
get to our briefing.
246
00:08:58,896 --> 00:08:59,896
Right.
247
00:08:59,965 --> 00:09:01,068
And I have to get home.
248
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:03,310
Oh, hey! You'’re making
me spill my smoothie!
249
00:09:03,379 --> 00:09:04,827
Ah... Mrs. Doohickey...
250
00:09:04,896 --> 00:09:06,620
No time for niceties, kink.
251
00:09:06,689 --> 00:09:07,896
We have the special equipment
252
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:09,551
you'’ll be needing
for this assignment.
253
00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,793
These seemingly
innocent-looking erasers
254
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,034
when clapped together
255
00:09:13,103 --> 00:09:14,827
emit a poisonous gas.
256
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,620
Chalk up another success.
257
00:09:20,689 --> 00:09:22,827
Fortunately, the effects
are only temporary.
258
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,551
Well, good luck with
your weapons and poison.
259
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,103
I'’ll just toddle along.
260
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:28,620
[ Shrieks]
261
00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:30,310
You okay?
262
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:33,379
Yeah. Um, that last scream
really cleared up my sinuses.
263
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,655
Are you going to lunch?
264
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:36,655
Can'’t. I got to go
home and figure out
265
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,551
why I forgot my lunch.
266
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,517
Zelda: I Don'’t like this show.
267
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:43,758
Do you have the remote?
268
00:09:43,827 --> 00:09:45,965
Hilda: No. I foolishly
forgot to pick it up
269
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:48,000
before I unexpectedly
grew eight feet.
270
00:09:48,068 --> 00:09:50,931
Zelda: I'’m going to blame
the altitude for your rudeness.
271
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,896
The characters in
my story are alive!
272
00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:57,586
Thank goodness my home can
be a shelter from the madness.
273
00:09:57,655 --> 00:09:59,413
Hilda: Sabrina,
could you speak up?
274
00:09:59,482 --> 00:10:01,034
It'’s hard to hear
you from up here.
275
00:10:01,103 --> 00:10:02,941
The people in my spy
story... They came to life
276
00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,424
and they'’re running
around my school!
277
00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:06,517
The only way that
could possibly happen
278
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:09,551
is if you accidentally used
hilda'’s magic typewriter
279
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:12,448
but she got rid of that
years ago, didn'’t you, hilda?
280
00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:15,034
By "get rid of," you Don'’t
mean "kept," do you?
281
00:10:15,103 --> 00:10:16,241
Hilda!
282
00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:18,010
I'’m sorry. I know I was
supposed to give it away
283
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,000
but I just... I love
writing romance stories
284
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:21,241
with myself as the heroine
285
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,931
and then watching
them come to life.
286
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,241
That isn'’t pathetic, is it?
287
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,493
Can we come up with a solution?
288
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,010
There'’s a group of
international spies
289
00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:28,034
running around my school!
290
00:10:28,068 --> 00:10:29,586
And my neck is killing me.
291
00:10:29,655 --> 00:10:33,827
Oh, dear. What kind of an
ending did you write for your story?
292
00:10:33,896 --> 00:10:35,931
Well, it was late,
and I was really tired
293
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,413
so I just had Dr. Bad...
294
00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:38,793
When this bomb goes off
295
00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:40,931
all the teenagers
will be annihilated
296
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,241
and everyone will
think they were killed
297
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,724
in a science lab experiment
gone terribly awry.
298
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:47,931
Dr. Bad...
299
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,793
You are a genius...
300
00:10:49,862 --> 00:10:51,310
An evil
301
00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:52,379
genius.
302
00:10:52,413 --> 00:10:53,344
[ Cackling]
303
00:10:53,413 --> 00:10:55,344
I had him blow up the school.
304
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:56,413
[ Both gasping]
305
00:10:59,586 --> 00:11:00,665
When you'’re working
with a magic typewriter
306
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,689
you can never let
your characters die.
307
00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:04,206
Well, I didn'’t
know I was working
308
00:11:04,275 --> 00:11:06,689
with a magic
typewriter.Right. Sorry.
309
00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:08,689
The problem is, when
your characters die
310
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,586
their real life
counterparts also die.
311
00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:12,793
Oh. And I just spent
the last two years
312
00:11:12,862 --> 00:11:14,310
foolishly making friends.
313
00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:16,000
I suggest you go up to your room
314
00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:17,344
and rewrite that ending.
315
00:11:17,413 --> 00:11:18,344
Don'’t worry.
316
00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:20,827
We'’ll help you.
317
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,413
How do you plan
for usto get upstairs?
318
00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:27,551
There. See?
319
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,137
Man, there are a lot
of frisbees on the roof.
320
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:31,586
Sabrina: I'’ve got the ending.
321
00:11:31,655 --> 00:11:34,206
Dr. Bad is about to
blow up the school
322
00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,137
but then... decides not to.
323
00:11:36,206 --> 00:11:38,517
Oh, honey, you can'’t
just force the ending.
324
00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:41,034
It has to come from
the character'’s history...
325
00:11:41,103 --> 00:11:43,517
Motivated by their
strengths and weaknesses.
326
00:11:43,586 --> 00:11:45,482
That'’s the same
thing Mr. Franco said
327
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,068
and I still find it annoying.
328
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:48,689
No, but the good news is
329
00:11:48,758 --> 00:11:50,206
if you find the right ending
330
00:11:50,275 --> 00:11:51,758
it practically writes itself.
331
00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:53,586
What is my bra
doing on the roof?
332
00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:55,206
The squirrels
needed a nut feeder.
333
00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:55,965
Sabrina
334
00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:56,965
we can help you
335
00:11:57,034 --> 00:11:58,482
write a new ending.
336
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,344
Try this: Um, Dr. Bad
337
00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:01,586
has captured Derek
338
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:04,000
and tied him to a buzz saw...
339
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:07,206
There'’s always been an
unpleasant edge to you, Dr. Bad.
340
00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:10,310
I'’m killing you just
to stop the puns!
341
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:14,655
Suddenly, Dr. Bad
turns to Lydia and says...
342
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:16,206
Turn off the saw.
343
00:12:16,275 --> 00:12:18,655
Why? Well, the way the courts
344
00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:21,172
have been cracking down
on evil geniuses lately
345
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,344
it just wouldn'’t be
practical for me to kill him.
346
00:12:23,413 --> 00:12:25,344
I'’d end up having to
pay a legion of lawyers
347
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:28,068
which i'’m sure would just wipe
out my entire retirement plan.
348
00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:29,862
That'’s a terrible ending.
349
00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:33,000
I thought it was
very contemporary.
350
00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,068
You have to come up
351
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:35,206
with a believable ending
352
00:12:35,275 --> 00:12:36,896
or your characters
will reject it.
353
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,000
What am I saying?!
354
00:12:38,068 --> 00:12:41,379
Turn the saw back on!
355
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:45,482
[ Evil laughing]
356
00:12:45,551 --> 00:12:47,620
Fictional characters can
be such prima Donnas.
357
00:12:47,689 --> 00:12:49,275
Can we get back
to the ticking bomb
358
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:51,551
that'’s going to
vaporize all my friends?
359
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:53,931
Not to mention the only
candy machine in town
360
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,310
that has nutrageous bars.
361
00:12:55,379 --> 00:12:57,448
Right. Try this: As
the other characters
362
00:12:57,517 --> 00:12:58,862
look on helplessly
363
00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,379
Derek kink and Dr. Bad
364
00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:03,000
are locked in a
fight to the death...
365
00:13:03,068 --> 00:13:07,689
Yes, I have found a worthy
opponent in you, kink...
366
00:13:07,758 --> 00:13:09,206
Much too worthy to kill.
367
00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:11,862
How about a square
dance instead?
368
00:13:11,931 --> 00:13:13,206
Delightful!
369
00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:16,275
[ "Turkey in the straw" playing]
370
00:13:19,068 --> 00:13:21,551
What? That'’s a much
worse ending than mine.
371
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,068
It'’s an unexpected twist.
372
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:25,172
Who are you people
to judge my art?
373
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:26,310
No wonder i'’m
374
00:13:26,379 --> 00:13:27,310
no good at this.
375
00:13:27,379 --> 00:13:28,551
Look at my gene pool.
376
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,827
A cat could write a
better ending than that...
377
00:13:30,896 --> 00:13:32,655
And will, if you start typing.
378
00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:35,172
Kink had surprised Dr. Bad...
379
00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:36,862
You'’re through, Dr. Bad.
380
00:13:36,931 --> 00:13:38,000
I... I...
381
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,206
I would like to ask
you to square dance.
382
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:41,517
Oh.
383
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:44,862
[ "Turkey in the straw" playing]
384
00:13:44,931 --> 00:13:45,931
Salem! salem!
385
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,275
Okay, I froze.
386
00:13:48,344 --> 00:13:49,586
Uh-oh...
387
00:13:49,655 --> 00:13:51,689
We'’re changing again.
388
00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:53,034
Oh, oh... Whoa.
389
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:54,689
Whoa!
390
00:13:56,206 --> 00:14:00,000
You had to plant rosebushes
under Sabrina'’s window.
391
00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,862
I figured something out.
392
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:03,206
Oh, the ending?
393
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:04,620
No. I'’ve figured out
394
00:14:04,689 --> 00:14:06,034
i'’m no writer. I'’m a doer.
395
00:14:06,103 --> 00:14:07,586
So, i'’m going to
go back to school
396
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:09,379
and solve this thing
myself, in person.
397
00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,862
There'’s a little something
398
00:14:12,931 --> 00:14:14,413
on your teeth, zellie.
399
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:17,206
Hey.
400
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:19,068
No spots.
401
00:14:19,137 --> 00:14:20,137
No wings.
402
00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:21,379
No webbed feet.
403
00:14:21,448 --> 00:14:23,379
Hilda, we'’ve beaten
the chain letter.
404
00:14:23,448 --> 00:14:24,655
I knew I was right
405
00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:27,172
to hold out against
that silly superstition.
406
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,896
Actually, I sent out
20 letters this morning.
407
00:14:29,965 --> 00:14:32,413
I was not going to apply mascara
408
00:14:32,482 --> 00:14:33,758
to my six new eyes.
409
00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:35,551
Oh, well, I have to admit
410
00:14:35,620 --> 00:14:38,482
it'’s kind of a relief
to be normal again.
411
00:14:38,551 --> 00:14:40,551
I liked being taller, though.
412
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:43,000
I know. You can wear
anything when you'’re tall.
413
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:46,206
[ Gasps]
414
00:14:46,275 --> 00:14:48,241
They'’re loose in
the school again.
415
00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:51,517
I'’ve got to somehow get them
together and disarm the bomb.
416
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,862
Vivian!
417
00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:55,793
Where'’s Derek?
418
00:14:55,862 --> 00:14:57,137
Huh?
419
00:14:57,206 --> 00:14:59,827
Wouldn'’t a laptop computer
be more convenient?
420
00:14:59,896 --> 00:15:01,517
Still can'’t work windows '’95.
421
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,172
Got to go.
422
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:06,206
If i'’m her weird friend
423
00:15:06,275 --> 00:15:08,275
I must be reallyweird.
424
00:15:10,931 --> 00:15:12,896
Excuse me. Even
the head cheerleader
425
00:15:12,965 --> 00:15:15,034
can'’t be in the
hallway without a pass.
426
00:15:19,620 --> 00:15:23,068
Okay... I am having
a h-heart attack
427
00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:27,034
and I have to fill out
a form for the hole.
428
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:32,551
Talk about a glamour "Don'’t."
429
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,586
Cat suits went
out six years ago.
430
00:15:34,655 --> 00:15:38,103
[ Yelling]
431
00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:47,000
I wouldn'’t start any
long books if I were you.
432
00:15:47,068 --> 00:15:48,068
Oh, no!
433
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:52,724
Uh... "Dr. Bad'’s wheelchair
434
00:15:52,793 --> 00:15:55,344
started spinning
out of control like..."
435
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,724
Whoa!
436
00:15:56,793 --> 00:15:58,862
"A wheelchair
spinning out of control."
437
00:15:58,931 --> 00:16:00,310
Run, Harvey!
438
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:04,344
Oh, why couldn'’t it have
been a magic legal pad?!
439
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:07,034
Oh, Mrs. Quick...
440
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:08,034
Mrs. Quick!
441
00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:10,241
Have you seen Libby chessler?
442
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:13,689
She brought some sort of
lethal laser device to school today
443
00:16:13,758 --> 00:16:15,034
and nearly killed me!
444
00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:16,103
Huh?
445
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:20,862
Harvey, have you seen Sabrina?
446
00:16:20,931 --> 00:16:22,206
She'’s acting...
447
00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:25,172
Is there an afternoon prom
that nobody asked me to?
448
00:16:29,275 --> 00:16:31,172
Lydia...
449
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,241
Oh!
450
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:36,068
Okay, that was weird.
451
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:41,551
All right, Don'’t
start whimpering
452
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:43,551
until you get to your office.
453
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:48,827
Don'’t start whimpering
until you get to your office.
454
00:16:48,896 --> 00:16:50,827
[ Whimpering]
455
00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:53,206
Oh, Mrs. Quick...
456
00:16:53,275 --> 00:16:54,482
I mean, Mrs. Doohickey!
457
00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:55,655
Have you seen Derek?
458
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,000
Who wants to know?
459
00:16:57,068 --> 00:16:59,482
Uh, will you hold this a second?
460
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,275
Uh, "a mysterious blonde
spy asks Mrs. Doohickey
461
00:17:02,344 --> 00:17:04,206
"for help in
locating Derek kink.
462
00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:06,137
Mrs. Doohickey
leads her to him."
463
00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:07,206
Follow me.
464
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:08,551
Oh.
465
00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:10,551
Next time, write
that Mrs. Doohickey
466
00:17:10,620 --> 00:17:12,172
carries the typewriter.
467
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,103
[ Whimpering]
468
00:17:13,172 --> 00:17:14,103
[ Screams]
469
00:17:14,172 --> 00:17:14,965
Don'’t hurt me.
470
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:15,965
Oh, god.
471
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:17,206
Mr. Kraft!
472
00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:19,172
Why are you acting
like a freshman?
473
00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:20,241
Because...
474
00:17:20,275 --> 00:17:22,241
You'’re not armed?
475
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:25,482
In that case, Ms. Chessler,
you are suspended.
476
00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:26,620
What?! yes.
477
00:17:26,689 --> 00:17:28,655
It'’s Valerie who
needs to be suspended.
478
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:29,655
She kicked me.
479
00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:30,827
Well, that...
480
00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:33,206
That would explain
your strange behavior.
481
00:17:33,275 --> 00:17:36,103
Hmm, Ms. Birckhead fries.
482
00:17:36,172 --> 00:17:37,344
Come on.
483
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:41,689
[ Gasping]
484
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,206
Oh, dear.
485
00:17:43,275 --> 00:17:44,551
Uh, substitute teacher.
486
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:47,137
I Don'’t think she
looks like you at all.
487
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:48,862
The psychic was right.
488
00:17:48,931 --> 00:17:51,034
I wasseparated at birth.
489
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:52,482
Oh!
490
00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:53,551
Aah!
491
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:54,793
Keep her away from me.
492
00:17:54,862 --> 00:17:56,482
She has poison chalk dust.
493
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:57,931
I Don'’t even have gum.
494
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,068
What is going on
at this school today?
495
00:18:00,137 --> 00:18:01,689
Oh, it'’s a pretty
normal day, Libby.
496
00:18:01,758 --> 00:18:03,793
Although, I did learn I
have an exact duplicate.
497
00:18:03,862 --> 00:18:05,517
She just ran down
the hall with Sabrina.
498
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,689
You know, every
time anything strange
499
00:18:07,758 --> 00:18:09,379
happens around this school
500
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:11,551
the trail always
leads to Sabrina...
501
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,206
Or to janitor Bob, but
we know that Sabrina
502
00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:16,034
is still in the country. Hmm?
503
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:17,965
Come on.
504
00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:22,689
Derek, Dr. Bad
has planted a bomb.
505
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:24,034
An explosive situation.
506
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,862
I know where it
is. Come with me.
507
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:26,931
Dynamite idea.
508
00:18:26,965 --> 00:18:28,827
And you can cool
it with the puns.
509
00:18:28,896 --> 00:18:31,241
Look, what happened
between us was wrong.
510
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,241
Sabrina'’s my best friend
511
00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:33,590
and you'’re her boyfriend and...
512
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:34,965
When did you
change your clothes?
513
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:36,379
A couple of days ago?
514
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,275
Ms. Birckhead, I am suspending
you for attacking Libby.
515
00:18:39,344 --> 00:18:41,206
What?! when did you
change your clothes?
516
00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:43,551
Mr. Kraft, what did you do
with your wheelchair? What?
517
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:44,827
Oh, look!
518
00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:46,000
There'’s Sabrina!
519
00:18:46,068 --> 00:18:47,206
Who'’s that with her?
520
00:18:47,275 --> 00:18:48,448
Somebody who looks like...
521
00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:49,551
Harvey?
522
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:50,551
Libby: And you?
523
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:51,551
Mrs. Quick: And me!
524
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:52,758
Hi!
525
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,482
I could'’ve been pulling
down 80 grand a year
526
00:18:57,551 --> 00:18:59,137
selling gold over the phone
527
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,620
but no, I had to teach.
528
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:01,620
Okay.
529
00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:02,965
Turn it off.
530
00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:04,206
Delighted.
531
00:19:04,275 --> 00:19:06,482
What'’s the procedure
here, Mrs. Doohickey?
532
00:19:06,551 --> 00:19:07,758
I only make things blow up.
533
00:19:07,827 --> 00:19:10,000
I Don'’t know how to
stop them from blowing up.
534
00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:11,724
I Don'’t know which wire to cut.
535
00:19:11,793 --> 00:19:14,172
Oh, no. My characters
Don'’t know what to do.
536
00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:15,862
That'’s because they Don'’t know
537
00:19:15,931 --> 00:19:17,896
why they'’re doing
what they'’re doing.
538
00:19:17,965 --> 00:19:20,068
Darn character development!
539
00:19:20,137 --> 00:19:21,689
Um, okay. "Derek kink'’s father
540
00:19:21,758 --> 00:19:24,379
"wanted him to go into
the family business, corn,
541
00:19:24,448 --> 00:19:25,724
"but kink loved science.
542
00:19:25,793 --> 00:19:27,275
"Against his family'’s wishes
543
00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:29,862
he joined the bomb-disposal
unit of the FBI."
544
00:19:29,931 --> 00:19:31,551
Does anyone have a pair
545
00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:34,000
of 178 millimeter
insulated wire cutters?
546
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:40,655
[ Blowing]
547
00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:42,551
I believe you are
all my prisoners.
548
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,137
Sabrina: You Don'’t understand!
549
00:19:44,206 --> 00:19:45,965
There'’s only a
few seconds left.
550
00:19:46,034 --> 00:19:47,862
If-if Derek doesn'’t
disarm the bomb
551
00:19:47,931 --> 00:19:49,482
we'’re all going to die!
552
00:19:49,551 --> 00:19:51,517
Then we will all die together!
553
00:19:51,586 --> 00:19:53,517
[ Evil laughing]
554
00:20:01,655 --> 00:20:02,965
Sabrina spellman
555
00:20:03,034 --> 00:20:05,827
this is Mr. Kraft. Come out with
your hands behind your head.
556
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:07,724
Dr. Bad: Don'’t move!
557
00:20:09,413 --> 00:20:10,448
Well, come on, kinkle.
558
00:20:10,517 --> 00:20:12,344
A separated shoulder
won'’t hurt you.
559
00:20:12,413 --> 00:20:13,413
Harvey: Oh!
560
00:20:13,482 --> 00:20:14,379
I'’ll help.
561
00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,034
Hey!
562
00:20:17,413 --> 00:20:19,068
The wire! The wire!
563
00:20:19,137 --> 00:20:20,620
Derek: I'’ve got it!
564
00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:24,275
Kraft: This is all going on your
permanent record, young lady!
565
00:20:24,344 --> 00:20:26,551
[ Typing] "The end."
566
00:20:28,206 --> 00:20:29,827
[ Grunting]
567
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,689
Three weeks detention
568
00:20:31,758 --> 00:20:33,827
starting this afternoon.
569
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,689
Another happy ending.
570
00:20:41,827 --> 00:20:43,044
So, I saved the
school from blowing up
571
00:20:43,068 --> 00:20:44,286
and I rewrote my
story in detention.
572
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,510
The teacher gave me a b-minus.
573
00:20:45,551 --> 00:20:46,941
It'’s not an "a," but
it'’s not a "c," either.
574
00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,724
I always feel the
minus part is personal.
575
00:20:48,793 --> 00:20:50,103
I'’m just glad you realized
576
00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:51,931
that because you'’re
not great at something
577
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,482
doesn'’t mean you
can'’t learn from it
578
00:20:53,551 --> 00:20:54,689
and have fun with it.
579
00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:56,379
That'’s what I always
say about dating...
580
00:20:56,448 --> 00:20:57,586
But I never learn anything
581
00:20:57,655 --> 00:20:58,586
and I Don'’t have fun.
582
00:20:58,655 --> 00:21:00,482
Wait a minute.
So, you'’re saying
583
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:01,896
i'’m not a great writer?
584
00:21:01,965 --> 00:21:03,344
Well...
585
00:21:03,413 --> 00:21:04,413
You see...
586
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:05,379
[ Bell dings]
587
00:21:05,448 --> 00:21:07,344
Oh, my. There'’s toast.
588
00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:09,689
Oh, it'’s from the
other realm postmaster.
589
00:21:09,758 --> 00:21:11,103
He says they
590
00:21:11,172 --> 00:21:13,793
caught the person who
started that chain letter
591
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:15,862
and he'’s been dealt
with accordingly.
592
00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:17,689
Good. What kind of a foul fiend
593
00:21:17,758 --> 00:21:18,758
would abuse the mails?
594
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:21,379
I was just reaching
out to people.
595
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:23,310
Oh, dear, the postmaster
596
00:21:23,379 --> 00:21:24,862
also says that because we sent
597
00:21:24,931 --> 00:21:26,068
chain letters ourselves
598
00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:27,517
we have to be punished, too.
599
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:28,862
But...
600
00:21:28,931 --> 00:21:29,862
I loved you
601
00:21:29,931 --> 00:21:31,034
in the wizard of oz.
602
00:21:31,103 --> 00:21:32,586
"Fly! Fly!"
41587
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