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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,724
Great.
2
00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:07,103
Friday afternoon,
no one around...
3
00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:08,344
Levitation spell.
4
00:00:11,275 --> 00:00:12,862
Follow me.
5
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:18,448
Heavy reading.
6
00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:20,068
It looked like your book bag
7
00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:21,758
was just floating behind you.
8
00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:22,758
[ Laughs]
9
00:00:22,827 --> 00:00:23,965
Wouldn'’t I love that.
10
00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:27,551
But I...
11
00:00:27,620 --> 00:00:30,551
All right, that'’s the
last time I buy minoxodil
12
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,137
out of somebody'’s trunk.
13
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,620
Giddyap.
14
00:00:51,689 --> 00:00:53,793
Oh, I need a horse.
15
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,103
Hey, guess what?
16
00:00:58,172 --> 00:01:00,379
I was the 23rd caller
to the radio station
17
00:01:00,448 --> 00:01:03,034
and I won two tickets
to the Lisa loeb concert.
18
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:04,034
You'’re kidding!
19
00:01:04,103 --> 00:01:05,137
I'’ve devoted my life
20
00:01:05,206 --> 00:01:06,448
to being the 23rd caller.
21
00:01:06,517 --> 00:01:08,758
But i'’m a purist... I
never use speed dial.
22
00:01:08,827 --> 00:01:10,724
You want to go?
They'’re great seats.
23
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:12,862
You mean we can
actually see the band?
24
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:14,448
I can'’t. Why?
25
00:01:14,517 --> 00:01:15,827
I went out twice last week
26
00:01:15,896 --> 00:01:17,103
and I promised my aunts
27
00:01:17,172 --> 00:01:19,034
i'’d stay in and do
some schoolwork.
28
00:01:19,103 --> 00:01:20,896
It'’s not like I have a lot.
29
00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:23,827
The seats are right
next to the speakers.
30
00:01:23,896 --> 00:01:27,724
Oh, man! That'’s where
the fights usually break out.
31
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,275
Never puts anything away...
32
00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:33,413
Leaves mail everywhere...
33
00:01:35,724 --> 00:01:37,724
I Don'’t want to know.
34
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:39,896
You need something?
35
00:01:39,965 --> 00:01:41,689
You in a better mood?
36
00:01:41,758 --> 00:01:43,724
I'’m just irritated with hilda.
37
00:01:43,793 --> 00:01:47,103
Sometimes I feel like i'’m
living with a small child...
38
00:01:47,172 --> 00:01:50,103
Except this child can
reach the high cabinets.
39
00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:52,344
You know, maybe
you should talk to her.
40
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,103
And I think it would be
best if I wasn'’t around.
41
00:01:55,172 --> 00:01:56,379
And amazingly enough
42
00:01:56,448 --> 00:01:59,034
Harvey is willing to take
me away to a concert.
43
00:02:00,827 --> 00:02:03,172
You want to know the
time... Friday at 9:00.
44
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:05,689
Weren'’t you staying
home to work this weekend?
45
00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,068
Possibly.
46
00:02:07,137 --> 00:02:09,103
You said you had
a lot of work to do.
47
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:10,931
You'’re paraphrasing, but yes.
48
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,344
And didn'’t you promise
49
00:02:12,413 --> 00:02:15,034
not to even ask permission
to go somewhere?
50
00:02:15,103 --> 00:02:18,931
That aunt hilda'’s
a real pain, huh?
51
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,000
I went to a bad movie and
a 99 cent store with Valerie
52
00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:24,482
and for that I have to
miss a free concert?
53
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:26,103
I'’ll feel sorry for you tonight
54
00:02:26,172 --> 00:02:29,137
when i'’m sleeping in my
wicker basket by those paint cans.
55
00:02:29,206 --> 00:02:32,655
Where does aunt Zelda get off
holding me to what I agreed to?
56
00:02:32,724 --> 00:02:34,758
What is that famous expression?
57
00:02:34,827 --> 00:02:38,172
"If at first you Don'’t
succeed, try another aunt."
58
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,689
That doesn'’t sound honest.
59
00:02:39,758 --> 00:02:41,931
You want honest, or
do you want to go out
60
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,310
and bleed from your ears
61
00:02:43,379 --> 00:02:44,551
with Harvey?
62
00:02:47,344 --> 00:02:48,586
Lose something?
63
00:02:48,655 --> 00:02:50,103
My mind, possibly.
64
00:02:50,172 --> 00:02:51,586
I bought a new pair of shoes.
65
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:54,655
I left them on this table for
ten seconds, and they'’re gone.
66
00:02:54,724 --> 00:02:56,413
They didn'’t walk
off by themselves
67
00:02:56,482 --> 00:02:58,275
but in this house,
it could happen.
68
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,517
I know what happened.
69
00:02:59,586 --> 00:03:00,586
Zelda.
70
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:02,310
She'’s a compulsive neat freak.
71
00:03:02,379 --> 00:03:04,827
Back during the plague,
she used to get upset
72
00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:07,793
if people didn'’t leave
their dead in neat, tidy rows.
73
00:03:07,862 --> 00:03:09,344
Speaking of neat, Harvey won
74
00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:11,137
these incredible
concert tickets.
75
00:03:11,206 --> 00:03:13,172
Wow! I thought I
should ask permission.
76
00:03:13,241 --> 00:03:15,000
You know my
motto: Life'’s short...
77
00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:16,275
Wait a minute.
78
00:03:16,344 --> 00:03:18,896
Did you talk to "the
queen of clean" about this?
79
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:19,896
Aunt Zelda?
80
00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:21,206
Well, sort of.
81
00:03:21,275 --> 00:03:23,862
She was busy complaining
about how messy you are.
82
00:03:23,931 --> 00:03:24,965
That woman.
83
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:27,103
I'’ll bet she said no.
84
00:03:27,172 --> 00:03:29,931
No. She did not say no.
85
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,758
Well, then, note your
exits and bring me a t-shirt.
86
00:03:32,827 --> 00:03:34,758
All right! Thanks, aunt hilda.
87
00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:36,413
[ Lisa loeb'’s "I do" playing]
88
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:37,413
Can you hear?
89
00:03:37,482 --> 00:03:38,620
What?
90
00:03:38,689 --> 00:03:40,000
Can you hear?
91
00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,689
I only brought a dollar!
92
00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:44,413
What? ♪ you can'’t
hear it, but I do... ♪
93
00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,965
Harvey: Good night, Sabrina!
94
00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:49,172
[ Car horn honking]
95
00:03:57,689 --> 00:03:58,931
Sabrina...
96
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000
Still up?
97
00:04:02,655 --> 00:04:03,931
I'’ll take that as a yes.
98
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,724
Who brewed the storm?
99
00:04:05,793 --> 00:04:07,896
Hey, how was the concert?
100
00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:09,413
You knew she was going?
101
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,551
Yeah. I told her
that she could go.
102
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,517
Should I not have?
103
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,896
You said she didn'’t say no.
104
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,034
Which was true.
105
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:20,620
Technically.
106
00:04:20,689 --> 00:04:22,172
I see what happened here.
107
00:04:22,241 --> 00:04:23,758
You didn'’t like my answer
108
00:04:23,827 --> 00:04:27,068
so you went behind my
back to my irresponsible sister.
109
00:04:27,137 --> 00:04:28,206
What?
110
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:30,724
I am just as
responsible as you are.
111
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:32,344
Hey, i'’m trying to sleep.
112
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:34,689
Why can'’t you act
like a normal family
113
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,517
and argue on the front lawn?
114
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,103
If you were really responsible
115
00:04:38,172 --> 00:04:40,551
Sabrina would not have
gone to that concert.
116
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,034
If you weren'’t a
stick-in-the-mud
117
00:04:42,103 --> 00:04:43,689
she wouldn'’t have
had to come to me.
118
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,344
I'’m stuck in the mud
119
00:04:45,413 --> 00:04:46,413
because of your mess.
120
00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:47,793
Door!
121
00:04:47,862 --> 00:04:48,965
[ Slamming]
122
00:04:49,034 --> 00:04:50,137
Thanks.
123
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,482
I was just going to get that.
124
00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:54,620
So, if there'’s no new business
125
00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:56,965
then that concludes this meeting
126
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:59,620
of the science club.
127
00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,827
Oh! Uh... uh... I know this is
128
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:03,482
non-science club business
129
00:05:03,551 --> 00:05:05,103
but I was just wondering...
130
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,586
My parents are going
away for the weekend
131
00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:10,068
and, you know, we
have that big-screen TV
132
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:11,379
and the indoor pool...
133
00:05:11,448 --> 00:05:13,655
Empty-house party!
134
00:05:13,724 --> 00:05:15,137
[ All clamoring]
135
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,310
Great! Why can'’t
gordy'’s parents
136
00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:20,931
have a couples therapy
weekend when i'’m notgrounded.
137
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,034
Hey, did you hear
about gordy'’s party?
138
00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:25,413
I bet the cops will
be there before 10:00.
139
00:05:25,482 --> 00:05:26,482
I can'’t go.
140
00:05:26,517 --> 00:05:27,448
You haveto go.
141
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:28,965
You'’ll have nothing in common
142
00:05:29,034 --> 00:05:31,137
with the entire student
body if you Don'’t.
143
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,137
I mean...
144
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,310
I'’ll still like you
145
00:05:33,379 --> 00:05:35,448
but I Don'’t think
we'’ll have anything
146
00:05:35,517 --> 00:05:37,448
to talk about.
147
00:05:39,068 --> 00:05:40,000
No!
148
00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:41,448
Oh, but everyone'’s going.
149
00:05:41,517 --> 00:05:43,689
I even think the
custodial staff is coming.
150
00:05:43,758 --> 00:05:45,413
No. No fun.
151
00:05:45,482 --> 00:05:47,586
This isn'’t fun. It'’s
a matter of survival.
152
00:05:47,655 --> 00:05:48,965
If I Don'’t go
153
00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:51,344
i'’ll be president of the
geeks anonymous...
154
00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:52,862
Only I won'’t be anonymous.
155
00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:55,137
Then I hope god
grants you the Serenity
156
00:05:55,206 --> 00:05:58,241
to know that my answer is
something you can'’t change.
157
00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:02,034
So you went home during lunch?
158
00:06:02,103 --> 00:06:04,103
Your aunt hilda'’s
still saying no?
159
00:06:04,172 --> 00:06:05,551
Now she'’s moved on
160
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:09,206
to "no way" and "ask again
and you'’ll never see sunlight."
161
00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:10,275
Hi, Harvey.
162
00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:12,517
Sabrina, I heard
Ellen Healy can'’t go
163
00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:13,758
to the party either
164
00:06:13,827 --> 00:06:16,241
so she'’s transferring
to another school.
165
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:17,517
It'’s just a dumb party!
166
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,482
Right. And new year'’s Eve, 1999
167
00:06:19,551 --> 00:06:22,413
will be just another
night of hats and horns.
168
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,448
But Don'’t worry.
169
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,310
I'’ll be there to keep
Harvey company.
170
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:32,827
This party will be so
big, she'’ll never find me.
171
00:06:33,896 --> 00:06:35,586
[ Stomps foot]
172
00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:38,000
Zelda: Where is
my carbolic acid?
173
00:06:38,068 --> 00:06:39,137
[ Sighs]
174
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:40,448
Hilda.
175
00:06:40,517 --> 00:06:43,482
I can'’t ask aunt Zelda
to let me go to that party.
176
00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:44,689
Do it.
177
00:06:44,758 --> 00:06:45,931
Do it!
178
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,068
Okay, i'’m going in.
179
00:06:47,137 --> 00:06:48,896
Aunt Zelda?
180
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:50,068
Yes?
181
00:06:50,137 --> 00:06:51,586
I'’ll make this quick.
182
00:06:51,655 --> 00:06:54,620
Uh, the president of the
science club is having a...
183
00:06:54,689 --> 00:06:55,965
Wh-what?
184
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:56,724
The science club.
185
00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:58,655
Oh.
186
00:06:58,724 --> 00:07:00,034
I love the science club.
187
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,586
I wish your aunt hilda
had had more science.
188
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,620
I think it makes a
person organized.
189
00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:07,655
Oh, well, I tried to talk
to her about this, but...
190
00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:09,517
She grew distracted
by something shiny?
191
00:07:09,586 --> 00:07:11,379
That'’s a good one, aunt Zelda.
192
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:12,620
You'’re pretty funny.
193
00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,482
Well, you can tell me.
194
00:07:14,551 --> 00:07:15,793
I love science.
195
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:18,310
Okay, well, um,
see, this Saturday
196
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:21,241
the science club is
having a special...
197
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:21,965
Meeting?
198
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:23,275
Yes.
199
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:25,586
People will be meeting.
200
00:07:25,655 --> 00:07:26,862
Well, you go, then.
201
00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:29,241
Women and science,
Sabrina... That'’s the future.
202
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:30,310
You go
203
00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:32,206
and be the brightest one there.
204
00:07:32,275 --> 00:07:33,862
Um...
205
00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,000
Okay!
206
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,517
[ Rock music blaring]
207
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:43,862
Aren'’t you glad you
didn'’t miss this party?
208
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,517
What?
209
00:07:57,137 --> 00:07:58,517
Hello, Sabrina.
210
00:07:58,586 --> 00:07:59,965
I'’m sorry. I'’m so sorry.
211
00:08:00,034 --> 00:08:01,931
But before you ground me again
212
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,379
I think you should know
213
00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:04,931
that the trend these days
214
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,689
is to factor in time served.
215
00:08:06,758 --> 00:08:08,206
What will you do to me?
216
00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:10,172
Under the circumstances...
217
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,034
The only thing we can do.
218
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:17,103
You'’re throwing me out?
219
00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:19,379
No. I'’m moving out.
220
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:23,586
This is a very odd punishment.
221
00:08:26,034 --> 00:08:27,793
You guys can'’t split up.
222
00:08:27,862 --> 00:08:29,000
Look what'’s happened.
223
00:08:29,068 --> 00:08:30,965
We'’re not good
parents together.
224
00:08:31,034 --> 00:08:32,724
This is all my fault.
225
00:08:32,793 --> 00:08:35,551
Nonsense. You'’re just
one of a multitude of things
226
00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:36,793
we disagree on.
227
00:08:36,862 --> 00:08:39,068
I'’ve already picked
out a lovely townhouse.
228
00:08:39,137 --> 00:08:40,172
I loathe townhouses.
229
00:08:40,241 --> 00:08:41,827
See? We even disagree on that.
230
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,310
You'’ll come and stay
with me this weekend.
231
00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:46,724
Well, see you, zeldy.
232
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,172
Bye, hildy.
233
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:53,034
I can'’t believe this happened.
234
00:08:53,103 --> 00:08:54,689
I can'’t believe you tricked me
235
00:08:54,758 --> 00:08:56,482
into letting you
go to that party.
236
00:08:56,551 --> 00:08:58,758
Well, you know, now
that aunt hilda'’s gone
237
00:08:58,827 --> 00:09:00,827
why Don'’t we just
blame it all on her
238
00:09:00,896 --> 00:09:01,896
and call it a night?
239
00:09:04,034 --> 00:09:05,724
[ Half-hearted giggle]
240
00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:10,275
Welcome to chez hilda.
241
00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:14,517
It didn'’t look like
this when I moved in.
242
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:16,517
I did a little
remodeling with magic.
243
00:09:16,586 --> 00:09:19,724
You areaware this looks
exactly like aunt Zelda'’s place?
244
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,172
It'’s the exact opposite.
245
00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:23,103
Plus, I added a doily.
246
00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:25,034
I hate it.
247
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:26,586
I'’ll show you your room.
248
00:09:26,655 --> 00:09:28,517
How can you?
It'’s just like home.
249
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,862
'’cause I hate change
250
00:09:29,931 --> 00:09:32,034
and it smells like
sweat and spit.
251
00:09:32,103 --> 00:09:33,103
That'’s you.
252
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,137
Oh.
253
00:09:35,172 --> 00:09:36,275
Oh, hi. Hey.
254
00:09:36,344 --> 00:09:37,827
What are you doing here?
255
00:09:37,896 --> 00:09:39,896
Just checking out your new digs.
256
00:09:39,965 --> 00:09:42,068
Can'’t quiz you
if I can'’t find you.
257
00:09:42,137 --> 00:09:43,758
Mind if I use your shower?
258
00:09:43,827 --> 00:09:44,827
Go ahead.
259
00:09:44,862 --> 00:09:46,448
Just Don'’t use my razor again.
260
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:49,379
Hurry up and unpack.
261
00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:50,689
I'’ll take you to school
262
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,689
and then i'’ll get
ready for the party.
263
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:53,310
Party?
264
00:09:53,379 --> 00:09:54,379
Yeah.
265
00:09:54,413 --> 00:09:55,862
I'’m having a housewarming.
266
00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:58,655
I'’ll need to zap in chips,
decorations, guests...
267
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,793
I'’d better go make a list.
268
00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:04,310
Don'’t forget the quinine water.
269
00:10:04,379 --> 00:10:05,482
A fun party.
270
00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:07,965
Could this get any worse?
271
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:09,448
Sure, it'’s a little weird
272
00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:12,689
but, you know, moving between
two houses has its upside.
273
00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:14,310
I hear travel broadens you.
274
00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:16,482
[ Sobbing]
275
00:10:16,551 --> 00:10:19,206
I'’m a latchkey kitty.
276
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:21,689
[ Blowing nose]
277
00:10:23,965 --> 00:10:25,103
Hey.
278
00:10:25,172 --> 00:10:26,620
Hey, that'’s my lunch!
279
00:10:26,689 --> 00:10:28,068
I have a message for you:
280
00:10:28,137 --> 00:10:30,965
You'’re summoned to a
meeting of the witches'’ council.
281
00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:32,896
I wanted to run an idea by you:
282
00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,000
Reserved seating
in the cafeteria
283
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:38,137
but... here'’s the best
part... Only for cheerleaders.
284
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:40,413
Now? But i'’m at...
285
00:10:40,482 --> 00:10:42,206
[ Echoing]: School!
286
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,310
Fascinating.
287
00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:45,275
I'’ll have to get
back to you on that.
288
00:10:57,620 --> 00:11:00,413
My ex-wife is behind this.
289
00:11:00,482 --> 00:11:02,103
I just know it.
290
00:11:04,551 --> 00:11:06,000
Why am I here?
291
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:08,000
Oh, parking ticket? Beheading?
292
00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:09,068
I didn'’t ask.
293
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:10,862
This custody hearing regarding
294
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:13,241
Sabrina spellman
will come to order.
295
00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,448
I'’m already in custody.
296
00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:16,241
My parents turned
my witch training
297
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:18,448
over to my two aunts,
and I live with them.
298
00:11:18,517 --> 00:11:19,586
Your aunts are kaput.
299
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,965
The witches'’ council
insists you reside
300
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:23,379
in only one household.
301
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:24,000
Why?
302
00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,655
Check...
303
00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,172
Article 12, section 15.
304
00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:29,034
Because you say so?
305
00:11:29,103 --> 00:11:30,310
Now, you have to choose
306
00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:32,137
which aunt you
wish to live with.
307
00:11:32,206 --> 00:11:33,862
This choice
308
00:11:33,931 --> 00:11:36,862
will affect the rest of
your life, so choose wisely.
309
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,241
Who'’s it going to be?
310
00:11:39,310 --> 00:11:41,862
You want me to decide now?
311
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,689
You'’ve lived with
them over a year.
312
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:45,379
You must have a favorite by now.
313
00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:46,448
So, spill it.
314
00:11:46,482 --> 00:11:47,482
I got a squash game.
315
00:11:47,551 --> 00:11:49,344
I love them both.
316
00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:50,931
This is a court of law.
317
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,379
This is not a greeting
card company.
318
00:11:54,413 --> 00:11:56,517
We'’ll reconvene later
319
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:58,000
for your decision.
320
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,620
Ready?
321
00:12:01,689 --> 00:12:02,586
You'’re going down!
322
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,931
Come on! Come on!
323
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,310
Well, come on, then.
324
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:07,000
Oh, that'’s it? No help?
325
00:12:07,068 --> 00:12:09,551
I hope you both get...
326
00:12:09,620 --> 00:12:11,551
Squash elbow!
327
00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:15,137
[ Soft classical music playing]
328
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:24,655
[ Upbeat rock music playing]
329
00:12:24,724 --> 00:12:26,275
Whoo!
330
00:12:27,482 --> 00:12:30,379
[ Soft classical music playing]
331
00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:31,758
That'’s...
332
00:12:35,413 --> 00:12:37,655
[ Upbeat rock music playing]
333
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:40,379
Whoo!
334
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:45,068
[ Soft classical music playing]
335
00:12:52,448 --> 00:12:55,172
[ Upbeat rock music playing]
336
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:02,172
[ Soft classical music playing]
337
00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:11,103
[ Upbeat rock music playing]
338
00:13:17,793 --> 00:13:19,034
So, Sabrina, I trust
339
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:20,379
you'’ve made up your mind
340
00:13:20,448 --> 00:13:21,586
which aunt to live with.
341
00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:22,793
I can'’t decide.
342
00:13:22,862 --> 00:13:25,172
We'’ll just have to
forget the whole thing.
343
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:27,172
We should Grant
you a "what if" spell.
344
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,137
What'’s a "what if"?
345
00:13:28,206 --> 00:13:29,137
It allows you
346
00:13:29,206 --> 00:13:30,620
to look into the future
347
00:13:30,689 --> 00:13:32,862
and see what might
happen if, say...
348
00:13:32,931 --> 00:13:36,793
You never brushed your
teeth, or if dogs took shorthand.
349
00:13:36,862 --> 00:13:37,689
I see.
350
00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,379
Like what if Keenan and kel
351
00:13:39,448 --> 00:13:40,448
won the lottery?
352
00:13:43,137 --> 00:13:45,413
Where did you put the ticket?!
353
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:48,000
What are you doing?!
354
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:48,862
I got hungry.
355
00:13:48,931 --> 00:13:50,689
Keep looking!
356
00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:55,931
Ooh! Oh! Oh, uh, yes!
357
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,620
Hey, kel! Kel, man,
I found the ticket!
358
00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:02,310
[ Scatting]
359
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:05,655
Hey, kel! Man, I found the ti...
360
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:07,000
[ Sobbing]
361
00:14:07,068 --> 00:14:09,275
Bite?
362
00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:11,206
Okay, let me try a "what if."
363
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:12,344
Uh, what if...?
364
00:14:12,413 --> 00:14:13,482
Excuse me.
365
00:14:13,551 --> 00:14:14,965
This is the remote.
366
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:16,413
We'’ve gone digital.
367
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:20,275
Okay, let me try again.
368
00:14:20,344 --> 00:14:23,172
Uh, what if I went to
live with aunt hilda?
369
00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:30,379
Harvey! Hey, grab some wheels
370
00:14:30,448 --> 00:14:31,586
out of the dining room.
371
00:14:31,655 --> 00:14:33,344
Let'’s mountain
bike up the stairs.
372
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:34,551
No, thanks.
373
00:14:34,620 --> 00:14:36,655
I just wondered what
happened to you.
374
00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:38,758
We were supposed
to get married, right?
375
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:39,931
I figured you forgot.
376
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:40,931
No, no, no.
377
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,379
You gave me a license to sign.
378
00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:45,689
It'’s around here somewhere.
379
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:49,137
Oh, here it is.
380
00:14:49,206 --> 00:14:50,379
Sorry about the gum.
381
00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:51,965
It'’s not too late, is it?
382
00:14:52,034 --> 00:14:54,206
Yeah. I gave you
that three years ago.
383
00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:56,103
Man, i'’m so disorganized.
384
00:14:56,172 --> 00:14:57,793
Well, you'’re here now.
385
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,310
Let me grab my coat.
386
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:00,379
Sabrina
387
00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:01,413
i'’ve moved on.
388
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:03,000
I married someone else.
389
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,310
And you didn'’t call?
390
00:15:04,379 --> 00:15:05,379
I did.
391
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:06,965
You told me you'’d call me back
392
00:15:07,034 --> 00:15:09,000
after you finished
your game of Tetris.
393
00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:10,000
How'’s that going?
394
00:15:10,068 --> 00:15:10,758
Mmm.
395
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:11,931
I came here because
396
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,689
I wanted you to meet my wife.
397
00:15:13,758 --> 00:15:15,000
Honey?
398
00:15:15,896 --> 00:15:16,896
[ Shrieking]
399
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,206
All right.
400
00:15:18,275 --> 00:15:19,827
She'’s alive.
401
00:15:20,689 --> 00:15:21,793
Can we go now?
402
00:15:21,862 --> 00:15:23,344
You want to meet
403
00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:24,413
our little one?
404
00:15:26,517 --> 00:15:27,655
Ew!
405
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,275
I Don'’t think I need to see
406
00:15:31,344 --> 00:15:33,517
what would happen
if I choose aunt Zelda.
407
00:15:33,586 --> 00:15:35,586
Let'’s assume it'’d
be better than that.
408
00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,172
Never assume.
409
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,137
Two parts citric acid
410
00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:42,034
one part noodles...
411
00:15:42,103 --> 00:15:43,103
Sabrina?
412
00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,137
Come on in, Libby.
413
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,758
I'’ve come for my weekly supply
414
00:15:48,827 --> 00:15:50,551
of your anti-aging cream.
415
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:52,620
Sure. Here you go.
416
00:15:52,689 --> 00:15:53,965
What do you say?
417
00:15:54,034 --> 00:15:55,793
Sabrina'’s the best.
418
00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,034
I'’m a freak.
419
00:15:57,103 --> 00:15:59,931
Okay, i'’m helping mankind
420
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,793
and keeping Libby
on a short leash.
421
00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:03,448
There'’s more.
422
00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:05,517
Kraft: Sabrina!
423
00:16:05,586 --> 00:16:07,344
Come in, Mr. Kraft.
424
00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:11,241
I'’ve come for my weekly
jar of anti-aging cream.
425
00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,793
Here you go.
426
00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:17,379
Thanks so much for letting
me be a part of your experiment
427
00:16:17,448 --> 00:16:20,068
but now, you be
honest with me now.
428
00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:22,827
I'’m in the placebo
group, aren'’t I?
429
00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:23,827
Not necessarily.
430
00:16:23,896 --> 00:16:25,793
You could be part of group "c."
431
00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:27,586
They'’re getting aging cream.
432
00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:28,793
But probably not.
433
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,655
If you were, you'’d
have suffered
434
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:31,896
some loss of hearing.
435
00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:33,655
Oh, thank you very much.
436
00:16:33,724 --> 00:16:35,379
I just got these shoes.
437
00:16:35,448 --> 00:16:36,448
Okay, well...
438
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:37,655
See you next week.
439
00:16:37,724 --> 00:16:38,724
Hopefully.
440
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:41,000
Say hi to Sabrina
if you see her.
441
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,137
So, my science is going well
442
00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:44,379
but i'’m still alone.
443
00:16:44,448 --> 00:16:46,413
Harvey: Sabrina, could
you hand me my book
444
00:16:46,482 --> 00:16:47,413
if you'’re not busy?
445
00:16:47,482 --> 00:16:48,896
Harvey and I are together!
446
00:16:48,965 --> 00:16:50,931
I'’m definitely
voting for aunt Zelda.
447
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,206
No problem, honey.
448
00:16:55,758 --> 00:16:58,827
You know, as soon as I finish
these next 49 experiments
449
00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:00,758
i'’m going to find
out not just how
450
00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:02,068
but why you dissolved.
451
00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:04,103
No rush, but I would
like to be let out
452
00:17:04,172 --> 00:17:05,655
of the anti-aging experiment.
453
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:06,448
Why?
454
00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:07,517
Because I think
455
00:17:07,551 --> 00:17:08,827
it'’s keeping me alive.
456
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:11,310
You'’ve seen both scenarios.
457
00:17:11,379 --> 00:17:13,655
What is your decision?
458
00:17:13,724 --> 00:17:16,448
I definitely Don'’t want to
live with Keenan and kel.
459
00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:18,689
I Don'’t know.
460
00:17:18,758 --> 00:17:19,931
I'’ll give you one day
461
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,034
but that'’s it.
462
00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,172
If you haven'’t made
a decision by then
463
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:25,000
i'’ll be forced to pick for you.
464
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:27,551
And i'’m thinking orphanage.
465
00:17:29,655 --> 00:17:31,482
Salem, I can'’t just choose one!
466
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,793
I have to find a way
467
00:17:32,862 --> 00:17:35,862
to get aunt hilda and
aunt Zelda back together.
468
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,551
Is there a spell that
would force them
469
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:39,793
to share a spleen?
470
00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:41,620
Okay. How about
if I find something
471
00:17:41,689 --> 00:17:44,448
that they both love and
Cherish and put it in danger?
472
00:17:44,517 --> 00:17:47,172
What are you going to do to me?
473
00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:48,172
Not you.
474
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:49,137
Me.
475
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:50,310
Oh, thank goodness.
476
00:17:50,379 --> 00:17:51,862
But I amwilling to help.
477
00:17:51,931 --> 00:17:53,827
I could push you
down the stairs.
478
00:17:55,379 --> 00:17:57,275
Aunt hilda?!
479
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,620
Aunt hilda, I think
I might be sick.
480
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:00,862
That makes two of us.
481
00:18:00,931 --> 00:18:02,379
Oh, let'’s get you to Zelda.
482
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,586
Crisis management
is not my strong suit.
483
00:18:04,655 --> 00:18:07,413
Do you mind riding in the back?
484
00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:09,655
Well, the good news is, no lice.
485
00:18:09,724 --> 00:18:13,689
The bad news: Not even enough
hair for a decent comb-over.
486
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:15,896
Aunt hilda, will
you stay the night?
487
00:18:15,965 --> 00:18:16,862
Yes, honey.
488
00:18:16,931 --> 00:18:18,551
Do you mind, Zelda?
489
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:19,896
Oh, not at all.
490
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,172
I'’d appreciate it.
491
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:23,793
I'’m going to go make
you some nice noodle soup.
492
00:18:23,862 --> 00:18:26,137
I put that under
"c" for chicken.
493
00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,931
Or was it "p" for poultry?
494
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,103
I'’d better help.
495
00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:31,896
Salem, it'’s working.
496
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:34,517
They'’ll be back
together in no time.
497
00:18:34,586 --> 00:18:37,379
I'’ve been sizing up
their spleens just in case.
498
00:18:37,448 --> 00:18:40,172
Zelda: Thank you
for coming so quickly.
499
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:41,689
We need a specialist.
500
00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:44,068
Oh, no, they called the doctor!
501
00:18:44,137 --> 00:18:47,448
I was against this
plan from the beginning.
502
00:18:47,517 --> 00:18:49,379
I thought she was a specialist.
503
00:18:49,448 --> 00:18:51,689
Hilda: She is... a
specialist in hairdressing.
504
00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:52,862
She thinks you have
505
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:54,620
a follicle problem.
506
00:18:54,689 --> 00:18:56,482
I think my brain
might be sweating.
507
00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,896
Ah!
508
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,551
Are we in
509
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:03,896
the neighborhood?
510
00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:05,344
No! It'’s horrible!
511
00:19:05,413 --> 00:19:08,068
Oh, well, listen, Don'’t worry.
512
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,241
It can be fixed.
513
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:11,103
Listen...
514
00:19:11,172 --> 00:19:12,241
I'’m going to need
515
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:14,482
a bucket of ice, some
antiseptic ointment
516
00:19:14,551 --> 00:19:16,931
and I need Sabrina
to sign a release form.
517
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,689
And, uh, why Don'’t
you turn up the stereo.
518
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,551
It helps drown out the screams.
519
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,034
Stop! I can fix it myself!
520
00:19:23,103 --> 00:19:24,103
Would restraints help?
521
00:19:24,172 --> 00:19:25,000
It was a spell!
522
00:19:25,068 --> 00:19:26,137
I was just trying
523
00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:27,793
to get you guys back together
524
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,137
because I Don'’t like
us not being a family.
525
00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:31,344
You did what?!
526
00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:32,724
Look, if I were sick
527
00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:35,275
could I do this?
528
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:36,344
[ Laughing]
529
00:19:36,379 --> 00:19:38,137
Okay, so i'’m no Ken Berry.
530
00:19:38,206 --> 00:19:40,413
Sabrina, we have a
confession to make.
531
00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,000
We didn'’t really split up.
532
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:44,310
You live in two different
houses because...?
533
00:19:44,379 --> 00:19:46,758
We pretended to split
up to help you learn
534
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:48,862
that we'’re better
parents as a unit.
535
00:19:48,931 --> 00:19:51,241
You shouldn'’t pit us
against one another.
536
00:19:51,310 --> 00:19:53,241
You couldn'’t tell
me this because...
537
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:54,862
We did, and you responded
538
00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:57,517
by sneaking off to
the science club party.
539
00:19:57,586 --> 00:19:59,413
I have no response
for that because...
540
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:00,551
You know we'’re right.
541
00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:01,689
But why did
542
00:20:01,758 --> 00:20:03,724
the cat have to suffer, huh?
543
00:20:03,793 --> 00:20:04,862
[ Sobbing]
544
00:20:04,931 --> 00:20:06,965
Wait. This couldn'’t
have been a ruse.
545
00:20:07,034 --> 00:20:09,241
I was called before
the witches'’ council.
546
00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:12,896
And we were happy to help.
547
00:20:12,965 --> 00:20:16,689
It'’s been a slow month, and
i'’ve got teenagers at home.
548
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,586
Your full-service organization.
549
00:20:18,655 --> 00:20:20,137
And now, if you'’ll excuse me
550
00:20:20,206 --> 00:20:22,172
i'’ve got to go
deal with a little boy
551
00:20:22,241 --> 00:20:23,931
who won'’t wash behind his ears.
552
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,724
This time, I get
to be a matador.
553
00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:31,034
Well, i'’ve certainly
learned my lesson.
554
00:20:31,103 --> 00:20:34,448
But are we all aware
that he did not fix my hair?
555
00:20:34,517 --> 00:20:37,137
And now aren'’t you
glad you'’re grounded?
556
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:38,793
[ Giggles]
557
00:20:41,344 --> 00:20:43,344
Thanks for returning
Sabrina'’s book.
558
00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:44,413
It'’s kind of funny.
559
00:20:44,482 --> 00:20:46,034
My grandmother'’s
been wanting me
560
00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:47,103
to see someone.
561
00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:48,965
I'’m sure you'’ll
meet someone nice
562
00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:50,379
when you least expect it.
563
00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:52,862
No. This is "see
someone" as in psychiatrist.
564
00:20:52,931 --> 00:20:54,586
Admittedly, I have been seeing
565
00:20:54,655 --> 00:20:56,000
quite a few strange things
566
00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:57,000
here and there.
567
00:20:57,068 --> 00:20:58,103
Mostly here.
568
00:20:58,172 --> 00:21:00,931
I Don'’t know what
you'’re referring to.
569
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,827
Well, strange sparkly things
570
00:21:02,896 --> 00:21:05,586
and paper dissolving
and staircase slides
571
00:21:05,655 --> 00:21:08,000
and a townhouse
that looks identical
572
00:21:08,068 --> 00:21:09,551
to this victorian home.
573
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:11,551
Oh, you Don'’t
need a psychiatrist.
574
00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,310
You just have a wonderfully
active imagination.
575
00:21:14,379 --> 00:21:15,586
You probably feel so free
576
00:21:15,655 --> 00:21:17,034
to let yourself go around us
577
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:19,103
because we'’re so
relaxed and comforting.
578
00:21:19,172 --> 00:21:20,241
And normal.
579
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:21,344
Good. We'’re normal.
580
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,000
Sabrina: Quit
complaining, Salem.
581
00:21:23,068 --> 00:21:24,137
I think you look cute.
582
00:21:24,206 --> 00:21:26,344
Hilda: Anything else?
583
00:21:26,413 --> 00:21:30,655
Uh... no. No.
584
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:32,724
I'’m not happy.
585
00:21:32,793 --> 00:21:35,172
[ Creaking]
39358
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