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1
00:00:01,260 --> 00:00:03,130
(bell rings)
2
00:00:03,130 --> 00:00:04,470
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,470 --> 00:00:05,930
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:05,940 --> 00:00:08,970
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:10,440
♪ By the time I grab my books ♪
6
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,010
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
7
00:00:12,010 --> 00:00:15,480
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
8
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:20,480
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:22,950
♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪
10
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,190
♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪
11
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,220
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
12
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:28,790
♪ Riding low in my chair ♪
13
00:00:28,790 --> 00:00:30,230
♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪
14
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:33,730
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it'll be all right ♪
15
00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:38,700
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
16
00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:55,020
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
17
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:58,020
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
18
00:00:58,020 --> 00:01:02,860
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
19
00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:09,560
- This week's topic in
speech class is entitled
20
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,570
My Best Friend.
21
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,840
- All right, our next
public talker will be, uh,
22
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:15,770
Mr. A.C. Slater.
23
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:17,340
You ready or what?
24
00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:19,270
- Oh by the way, our
speech teacher got sick
25
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,780
and Coach Rizzo is filling in.
26
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:22,780
- I'm ready.
27
00:01:22,780 --> 00:01:23,810
- Hey, move me.
28
00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,350
(audience laughs)
29
00:01:25,350 --> 00:01:26,350
- Okay.
30
00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:27,950
Listen up.
31
00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:30,850
My best friend is somebody
I've known a long time.
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00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:33,420
We've traveled all over
the world together.
33
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,190
He speaks my language.
34
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,660
No matter what happens,
35
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,960
he's always there for me.
36
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:41,160
(audience laughs)
37
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,030
He's true blue, except
when he's green or brown,
38
00:01:44,030 --> 00:01:47,670
because you see, my best
friend is my chameleon, Artie.
39
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,410
(everyone aws)
40
00:01:54,410 --> 00:01:56,380
- Hey, I am deeply touched here.
41
00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:01,020
(sentimental music)
42
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,450
- Hey guys, watch
what Artie can do.
43
00:02:03,450 --> 00:02:05,390
All right now Artie, come on,
44
00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:06,220
give me a nosey.
45
00:02:07,190 --> 00:02:08,420
(audience laughs)
46
00:02:08,430 --> 00:02:11,390
- (laughs) Slater,
that was great.
47
00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:13,290
- Hey, well I'll
give you a nosey too.
48
00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:15,400
- That was a great
trick, Slater.
49
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,700
How'd you get him to do that?
50
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,670
- Well, Screech, it
took a lot of patience
51
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,840
and a lot of flies.
52
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:21,670
- Do you mind?
53
00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:23,040
I'm eating.
54
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,270
- You want to hold him, preppy?
55
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,670
- No, thanks.
56
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:29,010
I'd prefer holding
something cute and female.
57
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:31,010
- Oh buy a poodle, okay?
58
00:02:31,010 --> 00:02:33,180
(audience laughs)
59
00:02:33,180 --> 00:02:34,680
- I think he's cute.
60
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,020
How'd you end up with a
chameleon as a pet anyway?
61
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:38,490
- Well actually, Artie found me
62
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,860
when my dad was stationed
in the Philippines.
63
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:44,290
Since then we've been
through 14 schools together.
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00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:47,090
He's the only friend I
haven't had to say goodbye to.
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00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,700
- So why don't
you two go steady?
66
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:52,470
- Screech, you love animals.
67
00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:53,730
How about watching Artie for me
68
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,940
while I go to San
Diego this weekend?
69
00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:58,440
- Will you really trust
me to chameleon-sit?
70
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,670
- Well I trust anyone
71
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,680
who names all the
ants on his ant farm.
72
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:05,280
- Naming them was easy.
73
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,580
It's remembering their
birthdays that's tough.
74
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,990
Is Artie here on any
kind of special diet?
75
00:03:11,990 --> 00:03:13,890
- Nah, just flies, bugs,
76
00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:16,460
anything you'd find stuck
to the windshield of a car.
77
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:17,690
- That's it, I'm out.
78
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:22,630
- Oh, Screech, don't
forget Artie's chew toy.
79
00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:23,800
(audience laughs)
80
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,530
- How cute.
81
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:28,040
- Come on, let's go
catch him some dinner.
82
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,070
- I gotta go too.
83
00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:33,140
Hey Jessie, I'll see you
tonight at 7:00, right?
84
00:03:33,140 --> 00:03:34,180
- For what?
85
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,380
- My speech!
86
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:36,640
You said you were
gonna help me with it.
87
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,710
- Oh, I'm sorry,
Kelly, I forgot.
88
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,850
My mother's picketing
an oil company tonight.
89
00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:44,020
I promised I'd chain myself
to a super unleaded pump.
90
00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:48,820
- Opportunity knocks.
91
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:50,090
I think I'll answer it.
92
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:53,660
I would be glad to help you
with your speech, Kelly.
93
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:55,060
- Really, Zack?
94
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,630
Why?
95
00:03:56,630 --> 00:04:00,030
- Because I'm a generous,
caring individual,
96
00:04:01,610 --> 00:04:03,340
and she's gorgeous.
97
00:04:03,340 --> 00:04:05,810
(audience laughs)
98
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,040
So what do you think?
99
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,010
We make a cute couple, don't we?
100
00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:10,250
(knocking on the door)
101
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,080
Ah.
102
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:16,480
Here's the beautiful
creature now.
103
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,060
(audience laughs)
104
00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,490
Screech, what are you doing?
105
00:04:22,490 --> 00:04:23,520
No wait, what are you...
106
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,030
Kelly's on her way over!
107
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,830
- Zack, you gotta watch Artie
for the rest of the weekend.
108
00:04:26,830 --> 00:04:28,230
My other pets love him.
109
00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:29,060
- So what's wrong with that?
110
00:04:29,070 --> 00:04:31,030
- They love to eat him.
111
00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:32,000
- Hi Zack.
112
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,670
I'm sorry, are you busy?
113
00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:34,940
- Well no.
114
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,440
Screech was just leaving.
115
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,170
- Well remember to
give him lots to drink
116
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,610
and no flies after 9:00.
117
00:04:39,610 --> 00:04:40,880
It gives him gas.
118
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,110
(audience laughs)
119
00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:44,250
- I'll keep it in mind, bye.
120
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,510
- Hi Artie.
121
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,380
I bet you miss your
little buddy Slater.
122
00:04:47,380 --> 00:04:48,850
Oh yes you do.
123
00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:50,220
- Kelly, why don't you
just put Artie down
124
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,020
and we'll work on
your speech, okay?
125
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:57,390
- Where do we start?
126
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:59,760
- All right, most important
thing about public speaking
127
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,230
is eye contact,
128
00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:03,770
and you want to pick a point
in the audience to focus on.
129
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:04,670
- Okay, like what?
130
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:06,870
- How about me?
131
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,670
(audience laughs)
132
00:05:08,670 --> 00:05:11,010
Now usually a short
greeting works well.
133
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,140
- Hi.
134
00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:13,110
- Hi.
135
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,380
- Hi!
136
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,710
(audience laughs)
137
00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:16,580
- Hi, Jessie.
138
00:05:16,580 --> 00:05:17,610
Bye, Jessie.
139
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:18,550
- Wait wait, wait wait,
140
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,280
am I interrupting something?
141
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,110
- Not anymore.
142
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,620
Bye bye.
143
00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:22,680
- Jessie, I thought you were
gonna picket the oil company.
144
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:23,580
- Oh we never got there.
145
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:24,850
We ran out of gas.
146
00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:27,390
Mom refused to fill
up out of principle.
147
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:30,160
- Well this is great.
148
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,360
Now you can help me with
my speech like we planned.
149
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,190
- Sure, let's go.
150
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,460
- See ya.
151
00:05:33,460 --> 00:05:34,330
(audience laughs)
152
00:05:34,330 --> 00:05:36,960
(humorous music)
153
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,170
- Hey Lisa.
154
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,100
Have you seen Slater?
155
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,340
He's supposed to be back today.
156
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,770
- No, and get that
thing away from me.
157
00:05:41,770 --> 00:05:43,370
The only time I come
this close to lizard skin
158
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,340
is when Anne Klein
puts a buckle on it.
159
00:05:46,610 --> 00:05:47,610
- Hi!
160
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,540
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, guys.
161
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,210
- Oh, is that little Artie?
162
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:50,140
Open the box.
163
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,380
I want to say good morning.
164
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:53,010
- Okay, but be quiet,
he's still sleeping.
165
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,080
He stayed up late last night
166
00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,750
to watch Godzilla on TV.
167
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:58,520
(audience laughs)
168
00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,820
- He looks so peaceful
when he sleeps.
169
00:06:00,820 --> 00:06:02,290
- Oh please,
170
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,460
you're going gaga over
something that burps bugs.
171
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,030
- I think he looks
a little pale.
172
00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:09,500
- Maybe he's sick.
173
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,200
- Why would he be sick?
174
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,370
Hey Screech, come here.
175
00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:13,600
Take a peek at Artie.
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Does he look any
different to you?
177
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- No.
178
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,070
- See.
179
00:06:17,070 --> 00:06:18,270
- Except for the
fact that he's dead.
180
00:06:19,310 --> 00:06:21,040
- Artie's dead?
181
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,810
(troubled music)
182
00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:27,180
Come on, you guys,
let's not panic.
183
00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,350
I mean, maybe he's
not really dead.
184
00:06:29,350 --> 00:06:31,450
I took him to English
class this morning.
185
00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:34,150
I get it, he's
probably bored stiff.
186
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,990
(audience laughs)
187
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,860
- Nope, he's as
stiff as a board.
188
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:43,430
(audience laughs)
189
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:45,500
- Should we try CPR?
190
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:48,340
(audience laughs)
191
00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:51,610
- Bad idea.
192
00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,780
- We should do something!
193
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,410
I mean, he was
Slater's best friend!
194
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,650
- Artie, why'd you have to die!
195
00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:02,280
(audience laughs)
196
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:03,520
- Lisa, you hated him.
197
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,250
- I know, but I didn't want
the slimy little thing to die.
198
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:11,130
- I just remembered
199
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,160
I left your window
open last night, Zack.
200
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,430
Artie probably caught a chill.
201
00:07:14,430 --> 00:07:15,960
This is all my fault!
202
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:16,800
- No, it's not.
203
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:17,730
It's my fault!
204
00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,570
I put him under a hot desk lamp!
205
00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:20,740
- It's all my fault.
206
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,640
I left him with Zack.
207
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,310
Should've known
he would kill him.
208
00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,480
- I didn't kill him.
209
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,210
- Well maybe none of us did.
210
00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:30,140
Hey, I know!
211
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,280
He probably died of old age!
212
00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:33,410
- Yeah.
213
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,150
- You think Slater
will blame us?
214
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,350
- Here's our chance to find out.
215
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:38,520
- [Girls] Bye!
216
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,360
(audience laughs)
217
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:46,330
- Hey guys.
218
00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:47,500
- Hi. (laughs)
- Hey. (laughs)
219
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,960
- So, how was, uh, San Diego?
220
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,930
- It was great, but I
really missed Artie.
221
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,700
- Really?
- Where is he?
222
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,940
- Oh, well, he's, uh,
223
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,870
I let him stay over at
Zack's place last night,
224
00:07:57,870 --> 00:07:59,710
and, uh, well, take it Zack.
225
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,210
(audience laughs)
226
00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:04,680
- Well Slater,
uh, he's not here.
227
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,380
- You left him at your place?
228
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:09,620
- Well yeah, uh,
he's still sleeping.
229
00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:10,550
- Let me tell you.
230
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:12,620
Artie's a real sound sleeper.
231
00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:15,160
When he's out, he's
dead to the world.
232
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,230
- Couldn't have said
it better myself.
233
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:20,660
(audience laughs)
234
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:21,900
- You know what?
235
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,800
Let's ditch class
and go get him.
236
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,670
I can't wait to see
the little fella.
237
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:27,030
- Oh yes you can.
238
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,470
(audience laughs)
239
00:08:28,470 --> 00:08:30,270
- Oh hey, I got a better idea.
240
00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:31,740
I'll go pick him
up at lunchtime,
241
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,170
and, uh, I'll meet
you at the Max.
242
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,540
- Okay.
243
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,180
Hey Zack,
244
00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,310
thanks for watching
Artie for me.
245
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,350
- Yeah, sure.
246
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,080
- Well that was easy.
247
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:44,590
- Yeah.
248
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,250
Now all we have to do is
bring Artie back to life.
249
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,090
(audience laughs)
250
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,060
- It's a miracle, Zack.
251
00:08:54,060 --> 00:08:55,900
- Yeah, it's a miracle we
found a pet shop nearby
252
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,130
that sold chameleons.
253
00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:00,840
Hey, looks exactly
like Artie, doesn't he?
254
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,440
- Yeah, he's a dead ringer.
255
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,670
(audience laughs)
256
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:05,740
- There's my boy.
257
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,340
Come to papa, Artie.
258
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:12,210
- Gee, Screech, look how
happy Artie is to see Slater.
259
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,280
- Slater, golly, welcome back.
260
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,550
- Yeah, you were
probably wondering
what happened to Artie.
261
00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:18,750
- No, he wasn't.
262
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,520
- See, we had a slumber
party last night
263
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:21,920
and Artie was our
guest of honor.
264
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,260
- Yeah.
265
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:24,290
- Lucky guy.
266
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:25,630
What's in the shoebox?
267
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:26,630
- Artie.
268
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:27,630
- Yeah, Artie.
269
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:30,970
- But Artie's right here.
270
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,430
- That's Artie?
271
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,770
- Yeah.
272
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,770
So how can this be Artie too?
273
00:09:36,770 --> 00:09:37,640
- Uh.
- Uh.
274
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,470
- Uh.
275
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:39,540
- [Girls] Zack?
276
00:09:39,540 --> 00:09:41,410
(audience laughs)
277
00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:44,980
- Because, uh, that's,
uh, that's Artie,
278
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:46,410
short for
279
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,450
Artesia,
280
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:49,020
(audience laughs)
281
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,790
Artie's date for
the slumber party.
282
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,190
- Wait a second.
283
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:55,720
Something weird
is going on here.
284
00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:58,690
I don't think either
of these is Artie.
285
00:09:58,700 --> 00:09:59,530
- You don't?
286
00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:00,860
- No.
287
00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,330
- All right, now what
happened, preppy?
288
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,600
Where's Artie?
289
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,700
Don't tell me you lost him.
290
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,230
- That's one way of putting it.
291
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,570
- Well don't worry about it.
292
00:10:09,570 --> 00:10:10,740
You know what?
293
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:11,670
He's probably
still in your room,
294
00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:12,970
just don't know where to look.
295
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,640
Hey, I'll come by after
wrestling practice
296
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:15,610
and we'll find him.
297
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,350
- Slater's bound to find
out about Artie eventually.
298
00:10:23,350 --> 00:10:24,350
- Yeah.
299
00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:26,590
Think he'll pin it on us?
300
00:10:26,590 --> 00:10:28,260
(audience laughs)
301
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,460
(dreamlike music)
302
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,690
- All right, move!
303
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,130
(audience laughs)
304
00:10:34,130 --> 00:10:36,830
(menacing music)
305
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:39,970
Face front so the witness
can take a good look at you.
306
00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:44,070
- Witness?
307
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:45,010
What witness?
308
00:10:47,610 --> 00:10:48,840
- Me!
309
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,310
I!
310
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:51,580
You remember me.
311
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:54,850
The guy in the shoebox
with the stiff neck.
312
00:10:54,850 --> 00:10:57,580
(audience laughs)
313
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:58,490
- I know my rights!
314
00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,420
What's the charge?
315
00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,760
- Reptilicide!
316
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,320
Killing a friend's chameleon!
317
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,260
- Yeah, yeah, he's guilty.
318
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,460
Give him a lifetime of
solitary confinement!
319
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,470
- Eh, take that,
you wimpy seven!
320
00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:16,200
(troubled music)
321
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:19,870
- Or maybe the charge is
322
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,910
leaving a poor
defenseless chameleon
323
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:24,050
in the path of a drafty window.
324
00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:27,450
- I didn't do it on purpose!
325
00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,350
- I'm still dead, toots.
326
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:31,190
(audience laughs)
327
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,090
Put her on ice for a long time.
328
00:11:34,090 --> 00:11:36,690
(dreamlike music)
329
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:37,960
(audience laughs)
330
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,130
- Or was the crime
leaving Artie here
331
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:43,100
under the relentless
heat of a desk lamp?
332
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,970
- It was a soft white bulb, sir.
333
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,200
- She always was a
hot little number!
334
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,470
You're gonna fry for this, baby.
335
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,040
Tss!
336
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,280
- Ow, ow!
337
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,640
Ow, ow!
338
00:11:56,650 --> 00:11:57,950
Ow!
339
00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:00,880
- Or was it just dirty
looks that did him in?
340
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:05,020
- Uh, her looks could kill.
341
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:07,520
- Oh please forgive me.
342
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,490
I'll never wear
lizard skin again.
343
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,560
- Sorry, it's polyester
for you, princess.
344
00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:19,830
(audience laughs)
345
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,070
- The real crime is
not what you did,
346
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,740
but what you didn't do.
347
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,770
You didn't tell
Slater the truth!
348
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,680
- Sir, we didn't
want to hurt him.
349
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,810
I mean, maybe we were wrong,
350
00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:34,820
but what else could we do?
351
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:38,020
(audience laughs)
352
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:41,260
(knocking on the door)
353
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,690
Slater, I didn't
expect you so soon.
354
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:47,490
- Oh, well I left
practice early.
355
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,260
Couldn't wait to see Artie.
356
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:51,170
All right, now
come on out, buddy.
357
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,630
Boy, he's good at
hiding, (laughs)
358
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:53,930
but I always find him.
359
00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:57,140
All right, now come out, Artie.
360
00:12:57,140 --> 00:12:58,640
- Look, Slater,
361
00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,240
I don't think you're gonna
find Artie this time.
362
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:01,410
- You know what?
363
00:13:01,410 --> 00:13:03,810
I bet he's just
hiding under the bed.
364
00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:05,350
- Slater.
365
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:06,580
- Hey.
366
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:08,480
Geez, preppy.
367
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,990
It's like a sporting
goods store under...
368
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,850
Ah. (laughs)
369
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,920
What's this?
370
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,090
(audience laughs)
371
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:16,920
- Uh, (laughs)
372
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,330
it came with my wallet.
373
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,930
(audience laughs)
374
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,730
- All right, now
come on out, Artie.
375
00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:24,770
- Come on, Slater.
376
00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:25,600
Look, it's no use.
377
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:26,830
Artie's not there.
378
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,800
- I bet he's just
in your closet.
379
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:29,640
- Slate.
380
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:34,040
(knocking on the door)
381
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,110
What are you guys doing?
382
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,710
He's in the closet.
383
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,710
(audience laughs)
384
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,020
- What's everybody doing here?
385
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,290
- Slater.
386
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:51,660
Something happened to
Artie while you were gone.
387
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,130
- What do you mean?
388
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:54,800
What is he, sick, hurt?
389
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,570
- I'm sorry, Slater.
390
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,040
- About what?
391
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,240
It's just a dead lizard.
392
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:08,810
Gotta hit the showers.
393
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,180
(bell rings)
394
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:19,690
- All right, let's get started.
395
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,520
First up will be, uh,
396
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,720
hey, Miss Dollface
Kapowski over here.
397
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,130
- Oh cut it.
398
00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:25,960
- Come on.
399
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,230
Step up to the plate.
400
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,830
Knock one out of the park.
401
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,330
- Speech speech speech!
402
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:34,670
- Thank you, Slater, for your
enthusiastic display of, uh,
403
00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:35,500
enthusiasm.
404
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:38,910
- My speech is about
my best friend.
405
00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:40,910
His name is Freddy,
my German Shepherd.
406
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:42,710
- (laughs) Oh please.
407
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:46,310
Come on, everybody knows pets
don't count as best friends.
408
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,150
- Hey Slater,
409
00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:48,420
the lady's talking here.
410
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:51,790
So talk.
411
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,320
(audience laughs)
412
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:55,390
- As I was saying, I've had
Freddy since he was a puppy.
413
00:14:55,390 --> 00:14:58,060
Whenever I come home, he's
right there wagging his tail.
414
00:14:58,060 --> 00:14:59,930
- (laughs) Well if
you came to my house,
415
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,930
I'd be wagging my tail too.
416
00:15:01,930 --> 00:15:03,360
(students laugh)
417
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,630
- Hey Slater,
418
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,270
since when did you
become a comedian?
419
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,770
- Since around Tuesday at 2:00.
420
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,010
(students laugh)
421
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:13,210
- One more peep out of you
422
00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:14,840
and you're going to
the principal's office.
423
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,210
You got that?
424
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:18,050
- [Students] Oh.
425
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,380
- Peep peep.
426
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:20,680
(audience laughs)
427
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,680
- You're outta here!
428
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:28,490
- I understand you were
disrupting Coach Rizzo's class.
429
00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:29,920
Now this just doesn't sound like
430
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,790
the A.C. Slater that I know.
431
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:34,730
What's going on?
432
00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:38,200
- Nothing.
433
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,830
- You are not leaving
here, young man,
434
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,640
until you tell me
what's eating you.
435
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:49,010
(audience laughs)
436
00:15:49,010 --> 00:15:49,940
(knocking on the door)
437
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:50,780
Yes?
438
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:53,680
- Mr. Belding, can I
have a word with you?
439
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,450
- Not now, Zack, I'm
busy with Slater.
440
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:57,350
- It's about Slater, sir.
441
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:58,590
- Just butt out, preppy!
442
00:15:58,590 --> 00:15:59,850
It's none of your business!
443
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:02,990
- It's about his pet
chameleon, Artie.
444
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,890
- He's think it's
our fault it died.
445
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,700
- Is that what
this is all about?
446
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,630
- Look, Slater,
447
00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:11,500
nobody wanted Artie to die.
448
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,430
It just happened.
449
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,700
- All right, all right.
450
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,530
Thank you, boys.
451
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,600
I'll take it from here.
452
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:21,040
I'm sorry, Slater.
453
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,880
I know what it is to lose a pet.
454
00:16:25,010 --> 00:16:27,510
For years I had two parakeets.
455
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,120
I named them Sonny and Cher.
456
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,020
One day when I changed
the water, I don't know,
457
00:16:33,020 --> 00:16:35,420
I must've left the cage
door open or something,
458
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:36,620
because when I came back,
459
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,790
Sonny was there, but
Cher had flown the coop.
460
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,100
Always hard to love
someone you love,
461
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:44,830
isn't it, son?
462
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,070
- It just isn't fair!
463
00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:50,870
- Well life isn't always
fair, and neither is death,
464
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,370
but that's life.
465
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,840
(audience laughs)
466
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,310
- I never thought
about him dying.
467
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:57,580
- When I was your age,
468
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,150
I didn't think about
those things either.
469
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,720
- I really miss him.
470
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,350
- That's okay.
471
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,500
It's still okay,
472
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,300
it's just a little too tight.
473
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:19,300
(audience laughs)
474
00:17:19,300 --> 00:17:20,370
Slater, help!
475
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:27,170
You okay?
476
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,440
- Yeah.
477
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,310
Thank you, Mr. Belding.
478
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,150
I'm starting to feel
a little better.
479
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:36,450
- Slater, I think it's time
that you said goodbye to Artie.
480
00:17:37,820 --> 00:17:40,590
- I think it's a little
too late for that, sir.
481
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:44,020
- No no no, let's give him
the funeral that he deserves.
482
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,790
- Funeral?
483
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:46,630
- Uh-huh.
484
00:17:47,860 --> 00:17:48,700
- Yeah.
485
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:50,600
That'd be nice.
486
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,540
(sweet music)
487
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:55,940
- Welcome, friends of Artie.
488
00:17:57,370 --> 00:18:00,740
We are here to pay our final
respects to a true friend,
489
00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:02,340
a good companion,
490
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,140
and a well-respected reptile.
491
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,810
He was a creature
among creatures,
492
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:09,480
not an enemy in the world.
493
00:18:09,490 --> 00:18:10,580
- Except the hoot owl!
494
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,590
- All right, except
the hoot owl.
495
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:17,590
Now at this time
496
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:19,760
is there anyone who would
like to share an Artie moment?
497
00:18:25,700 --> 00:18:28,000
- Artie was many
things to many people.
498
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,800
He was a gentle soul.
499
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:32,610
He never hurt a fly,
500
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,840
well except for when
he was eating them.
501
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,410
(audience laughs)
502
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:38,310
But the best thing
about Artie was
503
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,120
he was color-coordinated.
504
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,850
He could go with anything
in your wardrobe.
505
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:46,690
(audience laughs)
506
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,760
- I never actually knew Artie.
507
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,960
I never met him.
508
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,230
I saw him one time,
but we didn't converse.
509
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:03,740
However, if I had known
him, I would've missed him.
510
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,740
I'm making a donation
in Artie's name
511
00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:09,410
to, uh, save the lizards, huh?
512
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:12,850
(audience laughs)
513
00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:14,080
- That's great.
514
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:16,120
- Thank you, Coach.
515
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,850
Screech has written
a song about Artie
516
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:20,390
that Jessie will now sing.
517
00:19:22,390 --> 00:19:25,960
(Jessie clears her throat)
518
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,300
♪ Oh Artie boy ♪
519
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:34,300
♪ The bugs the
bugs are buzzing ♪
520
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,170
♪ There's gnats and ants ♪
521
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:40,440
♪ Mosquitoes on the fly ♪
522
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:45,450
♪ And there'll be time for
breakfast lunch and dinner ♪
523
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:53,490
♪ In that big chameleon's
banquet in the sky ♪
524
00:19:58,690 --> 00:20:00,330
- Now before we
conclude our services,
525
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:02,060
is there anyone else
who would like to
526
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:04,100
say a few words about Artie?
527
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:04,900
- I would.
528
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:14,210
Artie.
529
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:15,810
Pal.
530
00:20:15,810 --> 00:20:17,080
I don't know what to say,
531
00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:19,210
except
532
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:22,150
I miss you.
533
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,520
You were my best buddy.
534
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,450
For a long time you
were my only buddy.
535
00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:30,420
But now I realize I have friends
536
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:32,430
who care about me
as much as you did.
537
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,100
(Coach Rizzo sniffles)
538
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,160
(audience laughs)
539
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,900
Don't worry about me, Artie.
540
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:38,700
I'll be okay.
541
00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:42,700
Here.
542
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:44,800
Take this with you.
543
00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:48,710
(audience laughs)
544
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:51,580
Goodbye, Artie.
545
00:20:58,420 --> 00:20:59,820
- That concludes the ceremony.
546
00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:06,030
The procession will now
continue to the boys' bathroom
547
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:08,400
for burial at sea.
548
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,230
(audience laughs)
549
00:21:12,670 --> 00:21:15,400
♪ Oh Artie boy ♪
550
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,470
♪ The bugs the
bugs are buzzing ♪
551
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,440
♪ There's gnats and ants ♪
552
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:26,880
♪ Mosquitoes on the fly ♪
553
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:31,890
♪ And you'll be there for
breakfast lunch and dinner ♪
554
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:39,230
♪ In that big chameleon's
banquet in the sky ♪
555
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:49,770
("Saved by the Bell
Theme" by Scott Gale)
36997
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