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1
00:00:01,330 --> 00:00:03,200
(bell ringing)
2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,470
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,470 --> 00:00:06,070
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:09,200
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,940
♪ By the time I grab my books ♪
6
00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:12,510
♪ I give myself a look ♪
7
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:15,610
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
8
00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:20,620
♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,920
♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪
10
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,450
♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪
11
00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:27,290
♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪
12
00:00:27,290 --> 00:00:28,990
♪ Riding low in my chair ♪
13
00:00:28,990 --> 00:00:30,390
♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪
14
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:33,900
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it will be alright ♪
15
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:38,870
♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
16
00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:40,300
♪ Yow ♪
17
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:43,100
(energetic music)
18
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:55,280
♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
19
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:58,250
♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
20
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:03,090
♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
21
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,930
(upbeat music)
22
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:18,640
- Screech?
23
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,210
(audience laughing)
24
00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:23,610
- Good morning Zack.
25
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:24,450
(audience laughing)
26
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:25,280
- Oh hi, Kevin.
27
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,180
Can I come in?
28
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:27,520
- Sure, I'm dressed.
29
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,950
(audience laughing)
30
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:30,990
- So where's Screech?
31
00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:34,290
- He's in the bathroom, shaving.
32
00:01:34,290 --> 00:01:36,460
(audience laughing)
33
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:38,260
- Come on, what's he shaving?
34
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:39,160
His cat?
35
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,300
(audience laughing)
36
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:44,100
- No, he only shaves
his cat on Halloween.
37
00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:46,800
(audience laughing)
38
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,840
- Oh hi, Zack.
39
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,100
- Hey Screech.
40
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,110
- Where's the aftershave
lotion, Kevin?
41
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:53,580
- We don't have any, you're
not using a blade yet.
42
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,780
(audience laughing)
43
00:01:55,780 --> 00:01:57,480
- Screech, we're going
to be late for school.
44
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,710
What are you doing?
45
00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,250
- Growing up before
your very eyes,
46
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,480
but some people don't
notice the elderly.
47
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:09,160
- Are you sure he didn't
drink the aftershave?
48
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,390
(audience laughing)
49
00:02:10,390 --> 00:02:12,090
- No, yesterday was
Screech's birthday
50
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,000
and guess who forgot.
51
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,430
- Oh no, how could
I have forgotten?
52
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:18,430
- You, how about me?
53
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,930
I'm programmed to remember.
54
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,970
- Maybe you had one of those
24 hour computer viruses.
55
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:25,710
- I hope it wasn't robot rot.
56
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,910
(audience laughing)
57
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:29,880
- Okay, let's go.
58
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,010
- Hey Screech, happy birthday!
59
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,520
Better late than never, huh?
60
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,720
- Ha, you told him, didn't you?
61
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,650
- Excuse, I got to
go to the bathroom.
62
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,520
(audience laughing)
63
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,120
(upbeat music)
64
00:02:47,860 --> 00:02:50,370
- Oh Slater, would
you be so kind
65
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,970
as to help a damsel in distress?
66
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:55,070
- Lisa, are you all right?
67
00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:57,140
- Be a dear and
disengage my locker.
68
00:02:59,610 --> 00:03:01,910
(thudding)
69
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,440
Thank you,
70
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,010
I always have depended on
the kindness of strangers.
71
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,680
- Okay now, Lisa, why
are you acting like this?
72
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:10,650
- Oh, I'm trying out
for the drama festival.
73
00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:12,550
Do you believe me
as a Southern Belle?
74
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,020
- No, but I believe you
as Northern Ding-dong.
75
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,530
(audience laughing)
76
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,860
- We're all trying out
for the drama festival.
77
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:23,600
I'm auditioning as Joan of Arc.
78
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,630
- Hey, doesn't she
die in the play?
79
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,670
- Yes.
80
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:27,740
- Go for it.
81
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,700
(audience laughing)
82
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,240
Hey, what part are
you playing, Kelly?
83
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,210
- Eliza Doolittle,
from My Fair Lady.
84
00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:36,780
The rine in spine sties
minely on the pline.
85
00:03:36,780 --> 00:03:38,310
(audience laughing)
86
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,680
- Well babe, you can stand
under my umbrella anytime.
87
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:41,620
(audience laughing)
88
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,650
- Oh Slater, maybe later.
89
00:03:43,650 --> 00:03:45,020
(audience laughing)
90
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:46,420
- No loitering in the halls.
91
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:49,020
- Says who?
92
00:03:49,030 --> 00:03:50,960
- Says me, I'm the hall monitor.
93
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,330
- (gasps) You scare
my hair, skinny.
94
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:55,600
(audience laughing)
95
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:56,560
- You'll sing a different tune
96
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,930
when I throw you in detention.
97
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:59,470
- I don't know a different tune,
98
00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:02,200
I had a hard enough time
learning that one, love.
99
00:04:02,210 --> 00:04:03,040
(audience laughing)
100
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:03,870
- Some sick chick.
101
00:04:05,310 --> 00:04:06,670
- Ooh.
102
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,040
Hi Screech, how's it going?
103
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,410
- Ha, too little, too late.
104
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:12,980
(audience laughing)
105
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,780
- We've got to do something
about Screech's birthday.
106
00:04:14,780 --> 00:04:16,980
- We forgot it,
isn't that enough?
107
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,420
(audience laughing)
108
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:19,590
- Look, Screech is our
friend and we let him down.
109
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:21,660
We have to make it up to him.
110
00:04:21,660 --> 00:04:24,390
- Okay, what are we going to
do for the cute, little geek?
111
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,360
(audience laughing)
112
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,000
- Well, it's got to be
something really special
113
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,600
to make up for not
remembering his birthday.
114
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,570
- Why don't we send
him to Disney World?
115
00:04:32,570 --> 00:04:34,370
(audience laughing)
116
00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:35,400
- We can't afford that.
117
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:36,800
- We could if we mailed him.
118
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,870
(audience laughing)
119
00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:39,670
- Wait, I've got it.
120
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,210
This is genius.
121
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:44,250
Today, we'll give
Screech a surprise party.
122
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,380
- But his birthday
was yesterday.
123
00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:47,950
- That's the surprise.
124
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:49,750
- Now this will make
Bayside history.
125
00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:52,090
It won't be just
any surprise party,
126
00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:54,420
it'll be the most daring
birthday party ever.
127
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,290
- Oh, sounds exciting.
128
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,090
- Wait, I don't know about
this, it sounds dangerous,
129
00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,190
I'm getting nervous.
130
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,630
(audience laughing)
131
00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:01,830
- Oh, will someone shoot her
with a tranquilizer dart?
132
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:03,430
(audience laughing)
133
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,900
- Now we're going
to give Screech
134
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:08,700
a surprise party here at
school, during sixth period.
135
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:10,310
And do you know where
it's going to be?
136
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,510
In Belding's office.
137
00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:14,880
(audience laughing)
138
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:15,940
- Belding's office?
139
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:17,210
That's impossible!
140
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:19,050
- Oh come on, Jessie,
don't you understand?
141
00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:20,520
No guts, no glory.
142
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,650
Hey, the bigger the challenge,
143
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,620
the more it will
mean to Screech.
144
00:05:23,620 --> 00:05:25,290
- Look, I am class president,
145
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:27,760
I could be ruined
here at Bayside.
146
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,320
- Yeah, let's risk it.
147
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,390
- [Zack] All right.
148
00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:32,830
- Zack, this is crazy.
149
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,530
How you going to get
Belding out of his office?
150
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:37,470
- I'm not, Bayside's three
finest actresses are.
151
00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:40,600
(audience laughing)
152
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,670
Trust me.
153
00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:42,500
Hey Max.
154
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,310
- What's up, Zack?
155
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:46,940
Can you make us a
birthday cake for Screech?
156
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:48,480
- Oh, when do you need it?
157
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:49,440
- Yesterday.
158
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:50,280
(audience laughing)
159
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,950
- Ask me tomorrow.
160
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:53,450
Well maybe I can help.
161
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:55,850
I just happen to have my
Magical Cookbook with me.
162
00:05:55,850 --> 00:05:57,990
Ooh. (laughs)
163
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,420
- Huh, but there's
no cake in there?
164
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:03,760
- Well maybe it's not ready yet.
165
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,030
(bell dinging)
166
00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:10,500
I think it's done.
167
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,070
(audience laughing)
168
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:13,330
- [Zack] All right!
169
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,370
- Whoa.
170
00:06:14,370 --> 00:06:15,240
- Can I taste it?
171
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,310
(laughing)
172
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:21,380
- Whoa.
- Wow.
173
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,550
- (laughs) You better
wait and let it cool off.
174
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,780
(audience laughing)
175
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:29,650
- Okay, but there's still
one big problem, Preppy.
176
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,090
How are we going to
pull this party off
177
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,990
with Nasty Neil
patrolling the halls?
178
00:06:33,990 --> 00:06:35,320
- We'll have to eliminate him.
179
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,520
- Hey, count me out.
180
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,160
I'm not killing
anyone for Screech.
181
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,030
(audience laughing)
182
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:42,800
- Look Slater, all we got
to do is record Neil's voice
183
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,670
on this tape recorder and
he's hall monitor history.
184
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:47,130
- All right.
185
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:47,970
Go.
186
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:49,800
- Slow down, idiot.
187
00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,580
- What did you say?
188
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:56,910
- Slow down, dummy.
189
00:06:58,280 --> 00:06:59,180
- Thanks.
190
00:07:06,490 --> 00:07:08,490
- Oh you guys don't
stand a chance,
191
00:07:08,490 --> 00:07:10,260
I'm going to win
that drama festival.
192
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:13,530
- Oh no way, my Joan Of Arc
will light up the stage.
193
00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:14,960
- Only if they burn
you at the stake.
194
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,160
(girls shouting)
195
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,000
- Hey girls!
196
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:18,830
Hey girls!
197
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:19,670
- [Girls] Yeah?
198
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,000
- Shut up and move it.
199
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000
- Ooh.
200
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,270
- You can't talk
to us like that.
201
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:25,070
- Yeah, you're just
a jerk with a badge.
202
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,970
- Look I've had
enough of your lip.
203
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,440
- And we have all
we need of yours.
204
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,450
(audience laughing)
205
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:38,650
- (laughs) Hey Neil, can
I ask you a question?
206
00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:39,990
- Hurry up, I
don't have all day.
207
00:07:39,990 --> 00:07:41,820
- Now you can tell me the truth,
208
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,220
what do you really think of me?
209
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,690
- You're a creep.
210
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,790
- (laughs) I was
hoping you'd say that.
211
00:07:50,330 --> 00:07:52,900
(upbeat music)
212
00:07:56,370 --> 00:07:57,340
- Mr. Dewey?
213
00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:58,170
- Present.
214
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,410
(audience laughing)
215
00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:00,910
- I sent 14 more kids
to detention today, sir.
216
00:08:00,910 --> 00:08:02,610
- Detention's too crowded,
217
00:08:02,610 --> 00:08:05,710
maybe we should bring back
the death penalty. (laughing)
218
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,050
(audience laughing)
219
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,580
Little Vice Principal humor.
220
00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:13,720
(bell ringing)
221
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:20,500
Fasten your seat belts,
we're about to blast off
222
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,030
into the magic
kingdom of Algebra.
223
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:23,930
(audience laughing)
224
00:08:23,930 --> 00:08:25,330
- Mr. Dewey?
225
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,870
Would you explain that
quadratic equation on page 58?
226
00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,740
- Why not, it'll kill some
time before the bell rings.
227
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,810
(audience laughing)
228
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,640
- [Neil] Hurry up, I
don't have all day.
229
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:40,310
- Relax Neil, some of us
learn faster than others.
230
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,620
- Mr. Dewey?
231
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:42,550
- [Mr. Dewey] Where was I?
232
00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:44,320
- [Neil] Shut up and move it.
233
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,290
(audience laughing)
234
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:47,050
- What did you say?
235
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,590
- Nothing Mr. Dewey, honest.
236
00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:51,830
- Neil, don't mess
with the Dew-man.
237
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,460
(audience laughing)
238
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:56,600
- [Neil] Look, I've
had enough of your lip.
239
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,600
- Say what?
240
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,700
- [Neil] You're a creep.
241
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,100
(audience laughing)
242
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:02,740
- I'm so mad I could spit nails.
243
00:09:02,740 --> 00:09:04,540
(audience laughing)
244
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:06,440
- But Mr. Dewey, I
didn't say anything.
245
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,280
- Hey Neil, we all
heard your voice.
246
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,810
- But--
247
00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,750
- The only butt I want to
see is yours in detention!
248
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:13,650
And you won't be
needing this anymore.
249
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:14,480
Out!
250
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:16,950
(audience laughing)
251
00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:19,150
- Mr. Dewey, I think
the next hall monitor
252
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,520
should be someone who's
fair, decent, and honest.
253
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,490
Someone we really care about.
254
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:26,060
- I'm a teacher, I
can't be hall monitor.
255
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,490
(audience laughing)
256
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,330
- He means Screech, sir.
257
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,570
- Screech?
258
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,900
- Mr. Dewey, I'd like
to officially place
259
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,770
Screech's name in nomination.
260
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,240
- Yeah!
261
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,040
- [Students] Screech, Screech,
Screech, Screech, Screech,
262
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,970
Screech, Screech,
Screech, Screech!
263
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:43,910
- Well Screech, now that
you're hall monitor,
264
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:45,480
just remember who put you there.
265
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,450
- You're right, I'll
never forget Mr. Dewey.
266
00:09:48,450 --> 00:09:49,820
- Hey, not him, me.
267
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:51,690
I think a permanent hall pass
268
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:53,490
would be a nice way
of saying thank you.
269
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:55,060
- Sure Zack.
270
00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:57,360
- Thanks Screech, you're a pal.
271
00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,800
- Consider it an early
birthday present.
272
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,330
(bell ringing)
273
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,930
Duty calls!
274
00:10:03,930 --> 00:10:05,830
Hey, hey, excuse me!
275
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,800
No running in the halls!
276
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,400
Hey, can't you read!
277
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,310
- Yeah I can read.
278
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:15,080
- Good, save me a
seat in the library.
279
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,080
(audience laughing)
280
00:10:19,220 --> 00:10:21,650
- Alright now, Preppy,
everything is set.
281
00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:23,380
We own the halls.
282
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,620
Now all we have to do is get
Belding out of his office.
283
00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:29,620
- The girls are taking
care of that as we speak.
284
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,790
(chiming)
285
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,460
(phone ringing)
286
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,370
- Hello, Belding speaking.
287
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:43,270
- Oh Mr. Belding, you're
like sunshine on a rainy day.
288
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,670
I'm in desperate
need of a favor.
289
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,410
- Okay, but who is this?
290
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,840
- I'm one of your students,
291
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:51,680
just a poor little old magnolia
who's lost at the mall.
292
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,810
- Now, now, now,
now, just stay calm
293
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:54,920
and tell me your name.
294
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:57,950
- Why speak of names, mon amie,
295
00:10:57,950 --> 00:11:00,120
when we can speak of amor.
296
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,620
- What is this?
297
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,560
If you don't tell me who
you are, I can't help you.
298
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,060
- Me old man told me
never to give me name
299
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,530
to a stranger over the phone.
300
00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:09,930
- Now who's on the line?
301
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,530
Is this some kind of a prank.
302
00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:13,800
- Sir, I would never
prank a Yankee,
303
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,100
I'm a split personality
304
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:16,400
and my other two personalities
305
00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:18,170
are holding me against
my will at the mall.
306
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:19,010
- Am not?
307
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:19,840
- Am too.
308
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,080
- I believe you.
309
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,540
But I need your name
so I can help you.
310
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:26,310
- Um, you may call
me by Babette,
311
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,950
and you can call me
Betty Jo, Bobby Sue, Ann.
312
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,620
- Betty Jo, Bobby Sue, Ann?
313
00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:34,860
- The name's Eliza, love.
314
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,620
- Alright, alright,
alright look.
315
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:39,690
I know, I'll look for you in
front of the corn dog stand.
316
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,900
Now stay put, all of you .
317
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:43,200
- I will.
318
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,030
- I will.
319
00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:44,870
- I won't.
320
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:46,930
(audience laughing)
321
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,400
- Multiple personalities,
I can't believe it.
322
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,940
I have a sports car, I
hope they'll all fit.
323
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:54,210
(audience laughing)
324
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,340
(phone ringing)
325
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,310
- Hello?
326
00:11:57,310 --> 00:11:59,050
- Little Lamb, this is Jackal.
327
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,920
(audience laughing)
328
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:10,890
The balding eagle
has left his nest.
329
00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:13,390
(audience laughing)
330
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,000
(upbeat music)
331
00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,740
(bell ringing)
332
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:26,140
(Screech groaning)
333
00:12:26,140 --> 00:12:26,970
- [Screech] Geez!
334
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,740
(Screech groaning)
335
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,750
(audience laughing)
336
00:12:35,650 --> 00:12:37,550
- Job got you down, Screech?
337
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:40,490
(audience laughing)
338
00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:41,690
- Well this isn't so bad,
339
00:12:41,690 --> 00:12:44,420
except Muffin Sangria's
wearing heels today.
340
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,390
I think she gave me
an extra bellybutton.
341
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,030
(audience laughing)
342
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:49,560
- Screech, there was
a time when I was
343
00:12:49,570 --> 00:12:51,630
a puny, little run like you.
344
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,270
Hard to believe, huh?
345
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:54,740
(audience laughing)
346
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:55,770
- You?
347
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,070
Get out of here!
348
00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:59,940
- To be tough, you
have to think tough.
349
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:03,310
Personally, I think of
myself as Dirty Harry.
350
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:04,680
(audience laughing)
351
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,980
Go ahead, make my day.
352
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:08,980
(audience laughing)
353
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:12,250
- Wow, think I could
be a Dirty Harry, too?
354
00:13:12,260 --> 00:13:15,320
- You have to find
your own hero, son.
355
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:16,960
- Yeah.
356
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,390
(lighthearted music)
357
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:20,290
- We're going out
Saturday night.
358
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,930
- I'm not going out with you.
359
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,130
- Okay, forget Saturday.
360
00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:26,630
We're going out right now.
361
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,500
- (gasps) Help, help, isn't
there anyone who can save me?
362
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,870
(suspenseful music)
363
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,540
- I'll save you.
364
00:13:35,540 --> 00:13:36,710
- Who's that?
365
00:13:36,710 --> 00:13:38,080
- It's Robo-Screech.
366
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,810
- Hall monitor of the future.
367
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,580
- And my hero.
368
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:46,750
- You have three
seconds to unhand her.
369
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,650
- Get lost.
370
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,760
- Two seconds.
371
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:49,760
One second.
372
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:53,560
(triumphant music)
373
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,260
(audience laughing)
374
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:56,760
- [Lisa] Robo-Screeh,
I love you.
375
00:13:56,770 --> 00:13:59,200
- You have three
seconds to kiss me,
376
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,600
two seconds, one second.
377
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,700
- [Lisa] Oh Robo-Screech.
378
00:14:02,710 --> 00:14:06,070
- Hey, no kissing in the halls.
379
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:06,910
- Says who?
380
00:14:07,910 --> 00:14:08,840
Scanning.
381
00:14:08,850 --> 00:14:10,710
(imitates machine boinging)
382
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:12,210
Doofus at 10 paces.
383
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:13,480
- I want to be
hall monitor again.
384
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,820
I'm here to get my job back.
385
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:16,620
- Impossible.
386
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,150
- Oh yeah?
387
00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,190
- Draw.
388
00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,320
(students screaming)
389
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,320
(suspenseful music)
390
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,760
(lasers zapping)
391
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:34,170
(audience laughing)
392
00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,140
- I love this job.
393
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,910
(chiming)
394
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:40,940
- I can do it, Mr. Dewey,
395
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:43,010
you can count on Screech Powers.
396
00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,510
- I'm deeply moved.
397
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,080
In case you need it,
I'm giving you the power
398
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,250
to send all lawbreakers
directly to detention.
399
00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:52,850
(bell ringing)
400
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,160
Mr. Dewey, the bell has rung.
401
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,830
You should be in class.
402
00:14:59,830 --> 00:15:02,730
(audience laughing)
403
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,430
Here's your late slip.
404
00:15:05,430 --> 00:15:06,430
(audience laughing)
405
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,200
- You're firm but fair.
406
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,700
(audience laughing)
407
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:12,270
(upbeat music)
408
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,210
- You guys, we're
running out of time.
409
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:16,880
When are you going to decorate?
410
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,550
- We already did.
411
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,580
(audience laughing)
412
00:15:20,580 --> 00:15:22,320
- Festive.
413
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,390
- Just trust us, when
the party starts,
414
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,190
you'll say wow guys
this place looks great.
415
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:27,020
- Yeah.
416
00:15:27,020 --> 00:15:28,560
- Well it better be soon
417
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,460
because Lisa and Kelly went
to The Max to get the cake.
418
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,730
Oh and I'll be right back with
the recyclable paper plates
419
00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,660
and biodegradable
plastic spoons.
420
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:36,400
(audience laughing)
421
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,330
(upbeat music)
422
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,830
- What is taking Jessie so long?
423
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,370
- Well knowing her, she probably
stopped to save a whale.
424
00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:45,410
(audience laughing)
425
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:46,940
- Where is she?
426
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,640
And Kelly and Lisa should
have been here by now too.
427
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,540
Belding will be back any minute
428
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:51,880
and the ice cream will melt.
429
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,480
How are we going
to have a party?
430
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,180
- Hey, pull yourself
together Preppy.
431
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:57,220
You're whining.
432
00:15:57,220 --> 00:15:59,250
(audience laughing)
433
00:15:59,260 --> 00:16:01,520
- It's my party and
I'll whine if I want to.
434
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,260
(audience laughing)
435
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:07,130
- You're making Jessie
look better every minute.
436
00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:07,960
(audience laughing)
437
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,060
Look, I'll go find her.
438
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,230
- Yeah.
- Okay?
439
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,970
- Oh Screech, have
you seen Jessie?
440
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:17,670
- Yeah, she's in detention
441
00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,470
and you'll be there too.
442
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,110
Unless you show
me your hall pass.
443
00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:23,340
- What?
444
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,680
- You heard me, let
me see your pass.
445
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,350
- I don't have one.
446
00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:30,220
- All right,
against the lockers.
447
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:32,220
Spread 'em!
448
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:35,220
(audience laughing)
449
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,530
- (laughs) Hey cut
it out, that tickles.
450
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,690
(audience laughing)
451
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,200
- Pipe down, don't
make me hurt ya.
452
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,730
- Oh yeah, you and who else?
453
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:47,800
- My deputy.
454
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:51,710
(audience laughing)
455
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,640
- Now Screech, you don't
know what you're doing.
456
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,740
- Yeah I do.
457
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,210
I got to go do more of it.
458
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:00,880
(audience laughing)
459
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,480
- You better watch it, Slater,
460
00:17:02,490 --> 00:17:05,690
he's still bummed out
about his birthday.
461
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,290
(somber music)
462
00:17:10,790 --> 00:17:12,630
(upbeat music)
463
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,900
(knocking)
464
00:17:16,630 --> 00:17:18,930
(audience laughing)
465
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:20,100
- What's the password?
466
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,640
- Come on Zack, open the door.
467
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,070
- Now that's not it.
468
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,410
- Better say it.
469
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:30,680
- Zack Morris is the most
awesome guy in the world.
470
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,850
He is so hot, I just want to
be with him forever, okay?
471
00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:36,920
- Hey you missed stud
muffin, close enough.
472
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,520
(audience laughing)
473
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,020
Come on, come on, come on.
474
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:43,260
- Zack, that is the dumbest
password I've ever heard.
475
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,790
- Hey you're just
jealous because you
didn't get to say it.
476
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:48,060
(audience laughing)
477
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,600
- Where's Jessie and Slater?
478
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,100
- We thought they were with you.
479
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,200
- Oh great, that's
half the guest list.
480
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,440
You finish setting up here
481
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,000
and we'll go find them,
time is running out.
482
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,670
- So is the ice cream.
483
00:17:58,670 --> 00:18:00,840
(audience laughing)
484
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:01,680
Here.
485
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,350
Okay, you hit the library
and I'll check the cafeteria.
486
00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:08,180
- Got ya.
487
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,020
- Well, well, well,
aren't we in a hurry.
488
00:18:13,020 --> 00:18:14,250
- Screech.
489
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,960
- I'm booking you
up for speeding.
490
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,420
(audience laughing)
491
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,090
- Screech, aren't you taking
this hall monitor thing
492
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:20,930
a little too seriously?
493
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:25,000
- Lady, some things you're
supposed to take seriously,
494
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,170
like remembering a
loved one's birthday!
495
00:18:28,170 --> 00:18:30,070
(audience laughing)
496
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:31,810
- You got influence,
talk to him.
497
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:33,010
- [Lisa] Must I?
498
00:18:33,010 --> 00:18:34,440
- Yes, and you know why.
499
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:40,780
- Screech, you know how you're
always asking me on a date
500
00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:42,450
and I always say no.
501
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:43,720
- Yeah?
502
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,620
- Well, maybe if you
ask me this weekend,
503
00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,790
I just might give you
a different answer.
504
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,820
- You mean if I let you too
go, you'll go out with me?
505
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:52,830
(audience laughing)
506
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,900
- Yes, hunk of mine.
507
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,430
- Okay, that's it, Toots,
508
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,570
bribing an officer on
top of everything else.
509
00:19:00,570 --> 00:19:01,400
- But Screech!
510
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:02,440
- You too, Sparkle Puss.
511
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,300
Next stop, detention.
512
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,280
- Hey Screech, you can't
take them to detention.
513
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,650
You'll ruin everything.
514
00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:14,520
- I'm the law of this town, Mr.
515
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,050
I can do what I please.
516
00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:17,650
(audience laughing)
517
00:19:17,650 --> 00:19:20,220
(upbeat music)
518
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:23,290
(audience laughing)
519
00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:24,790
- How are we going to get out
of here and throw the party?
520
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:27,630
- We're just going to have
to make up some excuses.
521
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:30,560
- Hey watch this.
522
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:34,700
Mr. Dewey, I just remembered
I left my gym locker open.
523
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,140
You know, someone might
take my wrestling jersey.
524
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:38,610
Can I be excused?
525
00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:41,440
- Wrestle topless,
it'll drive them wild.
526
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,810
(audience laughing)
527
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:47,180
- Mr. Dewey, I'm
not feeling so well.
528
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:49,450
Can some of my friends help
me to the school nurse?
529
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:50,980
- She's home sick.
530
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,050
I wish I were, sit down.
531
00:19:53,060 --> 00:19:54,350
(audience laughing)
532
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,790
- Mr. Dewey, we
don't belong here.
533
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:58,260
- That's what they all say.
534
00:19:58,260 --> 00:20:00,560
(audience laughing)
535
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,330
- Well that's it,
the party's over.
536
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:06,370
(bell dinging)
537
00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,970
- This is Miss Johnson.
538
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:09,900
Mr. Belding's secretary.
539
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:11,240
Will the following students
540
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,210
please report to the
Principal's office immediately.
541
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,680
- Miss Johnson?
542
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,410
She must be new here.
543
00:20:17,410 --> 00:20:18,510
- I'm new here.
544
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,850
So let me get these names right.
545
00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:25,850
Jessie Spano, A.C. Slater,
Lisa Turtle, Kelly Kapowski,
546
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,760
and, uh, Screech Powers.
547
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,990
- You heard her, clear out.
548
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:34,460
The rest of you can watch
me practice my tae kwon do.
549
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:36,130
(audience laughing)
550
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:38,830
(Mr. Dewey grunting)
551
00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,170
(audience laughing)
552
00:20:40,170 --> 00:20:42,700
(upbeat music)
553
00:20:43,870 --> 00:20:46,410
- Ah come on in,
I'm good, aren't I?
554
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,740
Come on, give me five.
555
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:50,380
- Save it Preppy.
556
00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:53,280
We just saw Belding's car
pulling in to the parking lot.
557
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,320
- After all this we don't
even have time for a party.
558
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,320
- Yes we do, just
not a long one.
559
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,260
(audience laughing)
560
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,860
- All right,
where's Mr. Belding?
561
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:10,100
- Look Screech, we're sorry
we forgot about your birthday.
562
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:12,400
- And we're even sorrier
we made you hall monitor.
563
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,970
(audience laughing)
564
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:15,030
- But you're still our friend.
565
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:15,970
- So.
566
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,000
- Surprise!
567
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,200
- [All] Happy Birthday!
568
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,610
- All right, Screech.
569
00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:22,210
(upbeat music)
570
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,550
- Oh, I love it.
571
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,220
(audience laughing)
572
00:21:35,220 --> 00:21:37,620
(upbeat music)
573
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,560
- You guys are giving
me a birthday party
574
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,400
after I put you
all in detention?
575
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,260
- Well Screech, we love ya.
576
00:21:43,270 --> 00:21:45,970
- If I had the right
circuits, I'd cry.
577
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:47,600
(audience laughing)
578
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,340
- Sorry I let being hall
monitor go to my head.
579
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:52,110
You guys are the best
friends a guy could ever--
580
00:21:52,110 --> 00:21:53,470
- Shut up, Screech,
there's no time.
581
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,470
- All right.
582
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:55,480
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
583
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,480
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
584
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,480
♪ Happy birthday dear Screech ♪
585
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,310
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
586
00:21:58,310 --> 00:21:59,110
(audience laughing)
587
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:00,050
- Quick, make a wish.
588
00:22:00,050 --> 00:22:01,210
- There aren't any candles.
589
00:22:01,220 --> 00:22:02,220
- That's right, then
don't make a wish.
590
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:03,480
- Ooh, that cake
looks delicious.
591
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:04,320
- Oh it is.
592
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,190
- Trust us.
593
00:22:05,190 --> 00:22:06,020
- And gifts.
594
00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:06,850
- Yes.
595
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:09,560
(audience laughing)
596
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,590
- All right, Screech.
597
00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:11,690
This is from me.
598
00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:12,990
- Ooh, I wonder what it is?
599
00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:14,260
- It's a chemistry set.
600
00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:15,160
- A sweater.
601
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,000
- A pair of sunglasses.
602
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,260
- A calculator.
603
00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:18,700
- A compass for when I
tell you to get lost.
604
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,870
(audience laughing)
605
00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:22,100
- I bet they were beautiful.
606
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:24,040
- Okay that's it,
let's clean up.
607
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,640
(upbeat music)
608
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,720
- Wow, I don't know what to say.
609
00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:40,120
- Oh good, we don't have
time to hear it. (laughs)
610
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,690
(upbeat music)
611
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,070
(upbeat music)
41515
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