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1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:02,960
(bell ringing)
2
00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,600
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,070
♪ And the 'larm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:06,070 --> 00:00:09,200
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:12,040
♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪
6
00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:15,940
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
7
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:20,950
♪ It's all right 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
8
00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:22,850
♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪
9
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,390
♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪
10
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:27,520
♪ And my dog at all my
homework last night ♪
11
00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,290
♪ Riding low in my chair, she
won't know that I'm there ♪
12
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:33,960
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow, it'll be all right ♪
13
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,930
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
14
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:55,280
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
15
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:58,450
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
16
00:00:58,460 --> 00:01:03,290
♪ It's all right, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
17
00:01:06,230 --> 00:01:08,800
(upbeat music)
18
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:18,110
- Every 16 year old guy
dreams about two things.
19
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,240
That's one.
20
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,510
(audience laughing)
21
00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:23,910
And the car I don't
have is the other,
22
00:01:23,910 --> 00:01:25,010
but I'm working on it.
23
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,580
- Hey, Zack, come
here, here's one.
24
00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:30,920
A 1985 red Ferrari
convertible, mint condition.
25
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,160
Hey, only $185,000.
(audience laughing)
26
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:38,060
- I don't have $185,000.
27
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:39,260
- Well, I know that.
28
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:40,600
You have to talk 'em down.
29
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,730
(audience laughing)
30
00:01:42,730 --> 00:01:45,070
- Hey, how much money have
you really got, Preppy?
31
00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:46,370
- Well, let's put it this way.
32
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:48,240
When I get my $10
allowance on Saturday,
33
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,210
I still owe my dad 11.
34
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:51,810
(audience laughing)
35
00:01:51,810 --> 00:01:53,210
- Why don't you ask
your dad for a raise?
36
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:57,010
- Or get 20,000 more fathers.
(audience laughing)
37
00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,410
- You guys, there's this maniac
38
00:01:58,420 --> 00:02:00,250
named Jessie right behind me.
39
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,020
Now, whatever you do,
don't mention the yearbook.
40
00:02:03,020 --> 00:02:04,520
- Why?
41
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:05,420
- Well, because she hasn't
come up with a theme yet
42
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,650
and she's freaking out.
43
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,130
- Hey, mama.
44
00:02:11,130 --> 00:02:12,560
I got your favorite.
45
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:14,030
French fries with mayonnaise.
46
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,360
- No way, I couldn't
eat a thing.
47
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:18,030
I'm totally stressed
about the yearbook.
48
00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:20,400
- Shh, don't mention
the yearbook.
49
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,740
(audience laughing)
50
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:24,070
- Look, I'm in charge
of the yearbook
51
00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:26,170
and Belding's on my
case to make it great.
52
00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,510
- Hey, I thought
you weren't hungry.
53
00:02:28,510 --> 00:02:29,340
- I'm not.
54
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:33,250
(audience laughing)
55
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,180
Look, I'm serious.
56
00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:36,120
Last year's yearbook was awful.
57
00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,290
- Hey, I bought one of
these when I first got here.
58
00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:40,360
I had to scope out
the babe situation.
59
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,960
- You are so shallow,
you can't judge a person
60
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,590
by a picture of their face.
61
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,960
- Yeah, you're right, I
couldn't even see their legs.
62
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,060
(audience laughing)
63
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:51,570
- Yeah, this is a real turkey.
64
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,000
Do you have any gravy?
65
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,470
(audience laughing)
- Okay, hot shot.
66
00:02:54,470 --> 00:02:55,970
You'll have an opportunity
to make it better
67
00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:57,870
at today's yearbook meeting.
68
00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,280
- You're on the
yearbook committee?
69
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,480
- All right, so
where we're headed
70
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,240
with this committee
is that we're--
71
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,810
- Oh, sorry I'm late,
just pretend I'm not here.
72
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,250
(audience laughing)
73
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:08,750
- Zack, if you want
credit for this committee,
74
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:10,650
you are going to
have to participate.
75
00:03:12,690 --> 00:03:13,950
- Now, as we all
know, last year,
76
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:16,490
there were a few unsold
copies of the yearbook.
77
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:17,960
- A few?
78
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,960
Kids transferred just so they
wouldn't have to buy one.
79
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,230
(audience laughing)
80
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:23,360
- Exactly, so that's
why we need to make
81
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,070
this yearbook the best ever.
82
00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,440
- Wouldn't take much.
(audience laughing)
83
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,440
- Look, what we need is an idea
84
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,210
that'll make this puppy sell.
85
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:32,440
Any suggestions?
86
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,580
- Let's use holograms.
(audience laughing)
87
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:38,150
Everyone's picture'll just
leap right off the page.
88
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,520
- Ollie, isn't that a
little expensive, you know?
89
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,050
Moose, how about you?
90
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:47,820
- Uh, I'm fine.
(audience laughing)
91
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:48,620
How are you?
92
00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:52,260
- Uh, no, no, the yearbook.
93
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:56,560
- Okay, I'll buy one.
(audience laughing)
94
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,070
- Sandy.
95
00:03:58,070 --> 00:04:01,870
Sandy!
(audience laughing)
96
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:03,500
- Will you turn that music off?
97
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:08,510
- It's not music, it's a book
on tape, a real classic, dude.
98
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,850
I mean, sir dude.
(audience laughing)
99
00:04:12,850 --> 00:04:15,580
- The Little Engine
That Could, Part Two.
100
00:04:15,590 --> 00:04:17,120
(audience laughing)
101
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:20,090
- Books on tape, doesn't
anyone read anymore?
102
00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:21,720
- No, sir, that's why I suggest
103
00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:23,120
not having a yearbook at all.
104
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,430
- Oh, brilliant, I knew
I could count on you.
105
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:28,430
- No, really, a video yearbook.
106
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:32,170
- Hey, I love it, it's so now.
107
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:33,170
(audience laughing)
- Like I said,
108
00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:34,600
I knew I could count on you.
109
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,640
- Hey, no sweat.
110
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,040
- Then it's settled.
111
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,170
I'll inform your teachers
112
00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,840
that you'll be
missing a few classes.
113
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,340
- Miss classes?
- Miss classes?
114
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,280
- Miss classes?
(audience laughing)
115
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,950
- Then I withdraw my offer.
116
00:04:45,950 --> 00:04:47,050
I'm here to learn.
117
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:51,390
- Mr. Belding, honored
committee members,
118
00:04:51,390 --> 00:04:53,490
I will make the
ultimate sacrifice.
119
00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:58,160
I will shoot the video yearbook.
120
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,630
(upbeat music)
121
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,200
Hey, Slater, you ready?
122
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,270
This is your video
profile for the yearbook.
123
00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:07,600
- Hey, I was born
ready, Preppy, come on.
124
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,140
- Right.
125
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:09,970
Lights.
126
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,370
Action.
127
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,810
(audience laughing)
128
00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:18,750
- It looks like he
was born camera shy.
129
00:05:19,750 --> 00:05:20,580
- Figures.
130
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,350
What's your name?
131
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,250
- Uh, my name?
132
00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:28,160
My name is A.C. Slater.
133
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,530
- I bet it feels good to be
captain of the football team.
134
00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,400
- Oh, I bet it does.
135
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,830
(audience laughing)
136
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:38,270
- Is there any
message you'd like
137
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:40,600
to leave the graduating class?
138
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:44,240
- Goodbye.
(audience laughing)
139
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,270
- Cut.
140
00:05:45,270 --> 00:05:46,370
I think we got enough.
141
00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:50,580
- Hey, Preppy, I was a little
nervous, could you tell?
142
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:51,850
- You, nervous?
143
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:53,110
Nah.
144
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,880
- I'll just send in the
next victim, all right?
145
00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:57,620
- Hey, Screech, this is great.
146
00:05:57,620 --> 00:05:59,620
We get to shoot the video
while all these other suckers
147
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,860
have to go to class.
148
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,290
- Hi, Zack, I'm so proud of you.
149
00:06:02,290 --> 00:06:04,260
This video yearbook
is so excellent.
150
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,930
- Well, thanks, Kelly, now
just stand by the backdrop
151
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,360
and we'll shoot your profile.
152
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,900
Go for it.
153
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:13,170
- Hi, I'm Kelly Kapowski and
I am proud to be the captain
154
00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:16,240
of the girl's volleyball team,
softball team, and swim team.
155
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,810
I'm also head cheerleader.
156
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:21,010
B-A-Y-S-I-D-E, go Bayside!
157
00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:22,780
(audience laughing)
(cheering)
158
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,280
- Now, who do you love?
159
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,080
- I love you.
160
00:06:26,780 --> 00:06:28,280
- Cut, perfect.
161
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:29,750
How about a movie on Saturday?
162
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,020
- Oh, I'd love to, but
my parents are going out,
163
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:32,750
so yours will have
to drive, see ya.
164
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:36,590
- Gee, Zack, you'll have
a great time double dating
165
00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:39,290
with your parents.
(audience laughing)
166
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,330
- Me next.
167
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:41,730
- Ah, you do this one, Screech.
168
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,830
I gotta figure out
how to get a car.
169
00:06:43,830 --> 00:06:45,070
- No problemo.
170
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,300
Lisa, doll face, go be
beautiful by the scenery.
171
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,610
- Oh, I can't stand over there.
172
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:55,440
That backdrop clashes
with my outfit.
173
00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:58,410
- Kill the attitude, sweetie.
(audience laughing)
174
00:06:58,420 --> 00:06:59,250
- Hello.
175
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,680
My name is Lisa Turtle.
176
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,450
I'm the founder of the fashion
team and the shopping squad.
177
00:07:03,450 --> 00:07:07,590
My hobbies include dating,
guys, and dating guys.
178
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:09,990
(audience laughing)
179
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:10,990
- And cut.
180
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:11,930
- How was I?
181
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,560
- Delightfully shallow.
182
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,530
- And you're delightfully dorky.
183
00:07:15,530 --> 00:07:17,000
(audience laughing)
184
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,100
- You know, Zack, I bet every
guy will want to date her
185
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,640
when they see this.
186
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,700
- Screech.
187
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:26,140
That's how I'll get
money for a car.
188
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:28,540
You and I will make
a video dating tape
189
00:07:28,550 --> 00:07:31,050
and sell it to every
lonely guy in town.
190
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,480
- Why would we want
lonely guys to date us?
191
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,620
(audience laughing)
192
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,080
- No, you simp.
193
00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:39,250
We'll make a video dating
tape of pretty girls.
194
00:07:39,260 --> 00:07:41,320
- Oh, now that makes sense.
195
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,490
- Right.
196
00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,090
Next.
197
00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:47,230
- Like, hi, my name is Liz Bass
198
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:49,530
and I, like, totally
love everything.
199
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,430
- [Zack] What's your
idea of a perfect guy?
200
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,000
- Oh my gosh, all right.
201
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,510
I like a guy who's,
like, tall, dreamy,
202
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:59,710
and spends all of
his money on me.
203
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,510
(audience laughing)
204
00:08:01,510 --> 00:08:03,010
- Hey, Screech, this is great.
205
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:08,320
- Yo, I'm Spike,
no teams, no clubs,
206
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,550
I hate school and I
wanna be a rocker.
207
00:08:11,550 --> 00:08:13,920
(riffing)
208
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,790
- [Zack] What's your
idea of a dream date?
209
00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:20,460
- Jon Bon Jovi setting
my hair on fire.
210
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:23,000
(riffing)
(audience laughing)
211
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,230
- Zack, she scares me.
(audience laughing)
212
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,570
- All right, Screech, now just
use the best looking girls.
213
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:31,440
Then, add some music and plaster
214
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,770
their phone numbers
across the screen.
215
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:34,380
- Got it.
- All right.
216
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,940
Oh, and tomorrow,
we'll take these tapes
217
00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,440
to every high school around.
218
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,580
And, Screech, remember,
just the prettiest girls.
219
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:43,750
- Yeah, I'm no dummy.
(audience laughing)
220
00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:46,320
(upbeat music)
221
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:52,560
- Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, oh my.
222
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:53,830
Look at--
- Wow.
223
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,330
Do you have enough
money for a car yet?
224
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:58,800
- No, but I will once we
go to, now, let's see this,
225
00:08:58,800 --> 00:08:59,930
Woodlands High.
226
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,240
Uni High.
227
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,740
Hey, Grant High.
228
00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:05,870
Yeah, and St. Murray's
Reform School.
229
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,610
They haven't seen
a girl in years.
230
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:11,850
(upbeat music)
(audience laughing)
231
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:14,950
- So, by the time
the 20th guy called,
232
00:09:14,950 --> 00:09:17,950
I smashed the telephone
with my guitar.
233
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:19,890
Pretty cool feedback, actually.
234
00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:24,290
(audience laughing)
235
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,630
- Oh my gosh, you guys,
it's, like, so totally rad.
236
00:09:26,630 --> 00:09:29,960
I must have been asked out
by like every dude in L.A.
237
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,200
(audience laughing)
238
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,370
- You see, Screech,
the tape really works.
239
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:34,100
The girls are getting calls.
240
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,370
- I don't know, Zack,
kinda feel slime ball-y.
241
00:09:36,370 --> 00:09:37,570
- Yeah.
242
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,010
Isn't it great?
(audience laughing)
243
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:41,940
You know, maybe I'll test drive
a Corvette this afternoon.
244
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:44,550
(upbeat music)
245
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:49,150
- What are you looking at?
246
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,650
- I think your
tongue must be the
247
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:54,760
strongest muscle in
your entire body.
248
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,260
- Excuse me?
249
00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:58,830
- Your phone was busy for
over three hours last night.
250
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,160
What was it, save the
whales pledge week?
251
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,660
(audience laughing)
- No, I just happen
252
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,800
to get a lot of calls from
a lot of total strangers
253
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,430
who all wanted to
go out with me.
254
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,600
- Oh, and just how
many total strangers
255
00:10:08,610 --> 00:10:09,700
are we talking about here?
256
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,310
- I don't know, 15, 20?
257
00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:14,610
- And you talked to all of
'em, Ms. Love The World?
258
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:15,810
- Look, you don't own me.
259
00:10:15,810 --> 00:10:17,480
I can speak to
whomever I choose.
260
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,350
- Look, as long as you're
going out with me--
261
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:22,920
- The Max, where Bayside's Elite
262
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,220
have good times and bad burgers.
263
00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:28,220
(audience laughing)
264
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,130
Why, there's the captain
of the football team
265
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:35,160
and student body president
having a romantic lunch.
266
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:35,960
- [Both] Shut up!
267
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,170
(audience laughing)
268
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,930
- Oh, gosh, what a
surprise, Screech,
269
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,200
they're fighting as usual.
270
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,540
- This jealous jughead
thinks he owns me.
271
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:46,040
- No, I don't!
272
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,210
I just don't want you going
out with 50 guys, okay?
273
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:49,780
- I am not going out with them.
274
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,050
I don't even know
them, they just called.
275
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:54,620
- Right.
- Excuse us.
276
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:58,050
Did you put Jessie
on the dating video?
277
00:10:58,050 --> 00:10:59,850
- Well, yeah, I
mean, she is a girl.
278
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,520
- Well, who else
did you put on it?
279
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,860
- So, Friday, I have
a date with Wayne
280
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:06,590
and then Saturday I
have a date with Garth,
281
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,130
but that's only
because he begged me.
282
00:11:08,130 --> 00:11:10,630
And then Sunday, I have a
day date and a night date
283
00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:13,030
with guys from schools
I've never even heard of.
284
00:11:13,870 --> 00:11:15,140
- Tell me you didn't.
285
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,370
(audience laughing)
- You know, me too.
286
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:17,600
I got so many phone
calls last night,
287
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,670
I have to unplug my phone.
288
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,540
Did you know there's a St.
Murray's Reform School?
289
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,280
(audience laughing)
290
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,480
- You're dead.
291
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,110
- Hi, Zack, how's
yearbook coming along?
292
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,280
- Oh, yeah, Zack.
293
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,920
Mr. Belding's been
pressuring me to see it.
294
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,220
- Uh, it's going great.
295
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,790
We're almost finished,
as a matter of fact,
296
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:34,690
we gotta go work
on it right now.
297
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:36,890
(audience laughing)
- I thought I was dead.
298
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:37,830
- Move it, now.
299
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,490
- Ow, ow, ow.
300
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,730
Let go, let go, let go.
(audience laughing)
301
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:41,960
Ow, ow.
302
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,460
Ow, ow, ow, let
go, let go, let go.
303
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:46,730
- You are, without a doubt,
304
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,040
the dumbest human
being on earth.
305
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,940
- Well, you hired me,
what does that make you?
306
00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:52,110
(audience laughing)
307
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:53,710
- Just put the tape in.
308
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:56,240
- Which one, we have the dating
tape and the yearbook tape.
309
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:58,180
- The dating tape.
310
00:11:58,180 --> 00:12:00,720
- Hi, I'm Kelly
Kapowski and I'm proud--
311
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,650
- [Screech] To be your
date, tonight or any night,
312
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,550
don't be afraid to call
just because she's the--
313
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,250
- Head cheerleader!
314
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:09,820
- [Screech]
555-4314, call Kelly.
315
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:11,790
Kelly wants you to
call today because--
316
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:15,130
- I love you.
(audience laughing)
317
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,230
- Pretty good, huh?
318
00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:20,630
- Oh, good, you're still here.
319
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,140
We thought we'd get a sneak
preview of the yearbook.
320
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:24,300
- Well, we're still
working on it.
321
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,110
- Well, why don't you show
us what you got so far?
322
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:27,780
- Yeah, I can't wait to
see what I look like.
323
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,640
- All right, fine, fine, here.
324
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:32,550
(audience gasping)
325
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:33,980
Here, enjoy, we've
got work to do.
326
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:38,790
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
(audience laughing)
327
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,620
I thought we were done, Zack,
I mean, what's left to shoot?
328
00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:45,190
- You if we can't stop those
guys from calling Kelly.
329
00:12:45,190 --> 00:12:46,390
Come on.
330
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,960
- Zack, Zack, when
can I see that video?
331
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,260
- Oh, which video, sir?
332
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:51,330
- Well, the yearbook
video, of course.
333
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,270
- Oh, I thought he meant the--
(audience laughing)
334
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,840
- Uh, Jessie's watching it in
the yearbook right now, sir.
335
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:57,940
- Great, carry on.
336
00:12:57,940 --> 00:12:58,910
- All right.
- What?
337
00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:01,610
- Come here.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
338
00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:03,840
(audience laughing)
339
00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,580
- Oh, hi, I'm Jessica Spano.
340
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:08,250
This video is a first to Bayside
341
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:11,090
and as student body
president, I'm very excited--
342
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,350
- [Screech] About going
on a date with you
343
00:13:12,350 --> 00:13:14,190
when she's just a
phone call away.
344
00:13:14,190 --> 00:13:16,560
They call her Legs
and you can too!
345
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,290
(audience laughing)
346
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:21,060
- I have seen enough.
347
00:13:21,060 --> 00:13:24,300
- Well, I haven't, I want to
see mine again, I look great.
348
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:26,900
- Lisa, Zack Morris
has exploited you
349
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:28,640
and every girl at Bayside.
350
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,640
That's wrong!
351
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:33,540
- But I got a lot of dates.
(audience laughing)
352
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:34,980
- You know what, he
probably made a fortune
353
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,040
selling these videos
all over town.
354
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,180
- You mean he's making
money off of me?
355
00:13:39,180 --> 00:13:41,180
Now, that's wrong.
356
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:42,450
- Let's kill him.
357
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,650
- Yeah, let's tear him
into little pieces.
358
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:47,120
- And then let's take those
little pieces and expel them.
359
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,120
- Right.
360
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:48,960
(audience laughing)
361
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,420
- Wait a second.
362
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,690
- Aren't you coming?
363
00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:53,330
I mean, you should be
madder than all of us.
364
00:13:53,330 --> 00:13:54,800
- Oh, I'm furious.
365
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,160
But killing Zack isn't the
answer, he'll just do it again.
366
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,570
- Oh, and I suppose
you have a better idea?
367
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:01,140
- Listen, guys, you
don't date Zack Morris
368
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,340
without learning a few tricks.
369
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,970
Let's teach him a
lesson he won't forget.
370
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:07,610
- Hey, okay.
- Yeah.
371
00:14:07,610 --> 00:14:10,180
(upbeat music)
372
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:15,420
- We need a way to stop those
guys from calling Kelly.
373
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:17,220
- Why don't we dress
like phone repairmen,
374
00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:19,150
go into her house, and
take all their phones?
375
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,390
(audience laughing)
376
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:22,760
- Why don't you go make
a hungry shark happy?
377
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,160
- I sense an anger in you, Zack.
378
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,730
- Oh, there you are, Zack, look.
379
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:28,800
We've gotta talk.
380
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,830
- Yikes!
381
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,570
- Talk, uh, about what?
382
00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:34,470
- I am so ticked off.
383
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:36,340
Somebody gave out
Jessie's phone number
384
00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:38,140
and told everybody
she's available.
385
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:41,780
- Oh, who would do
something that stupid?
386
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,950
(audience laughing)
387
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:45,980
- I don't know.
388
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:48,480
But when I find this guy,
389
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,820
I'm just gonna slam
him against the wall.
390
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,390
(banging)
(audience laughing)
391
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:54,120
And I'm gonna slap him silly.
392
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,190
Then you know what
I'm gonna do, Zack?
393
00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,130
Know what I'm gonna do?
394
00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,560
I'm gonna take a pair of pliers
395
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:04,660
and I'm gonna pluck out all
of his little nose hairs.
396
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:05,500
(banging)
- Ow!
397
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,100
- What's wrong
with you, Screech?
398
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,600
- Wrong, with me?
399
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:12,440
Oh, nothing, never been better.
400
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,040
- Slater, aren't
you overreacting?
401
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,740
- Zack, this guy has given
out Kelly's number, too.
402
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:18,910
How come you're not mad?
403
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,450
- Oh, he was.
404
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:22,250
I mean, he is.
405
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,250
I mean, he will be.
(audience laughing)
406
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,420
- Well, I am mad, Slater,
407
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:27,050
I just don't think
violence is the answer.
408
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,560
I mean, this whole thing
could be a misunderstanding.
409
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,230
- Yeah, well, he won't
misunderstand this.
410
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,860
(audience laughing)
411
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,900
- Do you think he's bluffing?
412
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:43,770
(dramatic music)
413
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:46,710
- I wonder how much money
Zack is making off of us.
414
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:49,440
- Oh, well, you can bet
it's enough to buy a car.
415
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:50,910
- Oh, yeah, well you can bet
416
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:53,310
he'll be driving me to school
for the rest of his life.
417
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,020
(audience laughing)
- Shh, here he comes.
418
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,520
- Hi, girls, how you doing?
419
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,690
- Don't ask.
- Terrible.
420
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:01,760
- Why, what's wrong?
421
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,190
- What's wrong?
422
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,660
What's wrong?!
423
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:05,890
I'll tell you what's wrong.
424
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:07,260
Whoever gave out
our phone numbers,
425
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:10,030
it's completely
messing up our lives.
426
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:10,970
- Well, I thought you were happy
427
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,930
'cause you got so many dates.
428
00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:14,600
- Well, I was, but
I got so many calls
429
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,770
my father took away my phones.
430
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,970
(audience laughing)
- I'm sorry, Lisa.
431
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:21,080
Well, Jessie, are you
still getting calls, too?
432
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,680
- No, they've stopped.
433
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,310
- Well, then, is everything
okay with Slater?
434
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,210
- No, he dumped me,
he's gone berserk.
435
00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:28,450
He's beating up every
guy he thinks likes me.
436
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:31,620
- Hey.
437
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,120
What happened to you guys?
438
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,290
- Slater thought we
were hitting on Jessie,
439
00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:38,230
so he starts to hit on us.
440
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,590
- And I have
incredible pain, too.
441
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:45,600
(audience laughing)
(bell ringing)
442
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,410
- Screech!
443
00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,880
Did Slater do that to you?
444
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,450
- Oh, no, these are fakes,
445
00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:03,680
that way Slater'll
think he already got me.
446
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,650
Here, put one on,
you'll be safer.
447
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:09,620
- [Belding] Attention,
Zack Morris.
448
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:12,160
This is your
principal, Mr. Belding.
449
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,430
Please report to my
office immediately.
450
00:17:15,430 --> 00:17:17,330
- Well, at least Slater
won't find me in there.
451
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:18,830
See you guys.
452
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,600
(giggling)
(audience laughing)
453
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,040
- [Belding] Come in.
- You wanted to see me, sir?
454
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,240
- Yes, Zack.
455
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,740
The school board
wants to see a copy
456
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:29,240
of the yearbook tonight, so
I'll need a finished copy
457
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,210
by 3 o'clock.
458
00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:32,810
- 3 o'clock, but, sir.
459
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,820
(audience laughing)
460
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:38,350
Sir, what happened to your eye?
461
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:39,820
- Oh, I had an
unfortunate incident
462
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,460
with Slater this morning.
463
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,920
The boy is out of control.
464
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,830
(buzzing)
465
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:47,960
Yes?
466
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,030
- [Woman] Mr. Belding,
Kelly Kapowski
467
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:51,270
and Vince Montana are here.
468
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,000
- Vince Montana?
469
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,230
- Send them in.
470
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,800
This'll just take
a second, Zack.
471
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,540
(audience cheering)
472
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:01,940
- What do you want?
473
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:07,110
- Kelly, what are you doing?
474
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,980
- The same thing she
was doing in class.
475
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:13,820
They have been caught
making out all over school!
476
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:16,220
And he doesn't even go here.
477
00:18:16,230 --> 00:18:17,960
- But, Kelly, I thought
you were my girlfriend.
478
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,830
- Oh, yeah, I meant to
talk to you about that.
479
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,600
This is Vince, one of
the guys who called me.
480
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,330
You've been replaced.
481
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,530
- Who's the dweeb?
482
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,200
- Just some old mistake.
483
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,100
(audience laughing)
484
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:28,270
- I don't believe it.
485
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,970
Hey, get your hands off her!
486
00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:33,040
- There you are, Zack!
487
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,980
I've been looking all
over for you, you--
488
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,780
- Time out!
489
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,780
(audience laughing)
490
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,680
Man, this is horrible.
491
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:41,920
I just meant to get a car.
492
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,150
If I don't find a
way out of this,
493
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:44,720
my life at Bayside is over.
494
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:52,030
(audience laughing)
495
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,190
Time in.
496
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,200
- Oh, oh, Mr.
Belding, I'm sorry!
497
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,170
(dramatic music)
498
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,870
- Hey, guys, what's
going on here?
499
00:19:00,870 --> 00:19:02,470
- We all got
invitations from Zack
500
00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:04,370
asking us to be here at three.
501
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:06,870
- Yeah and he's not here and
there's no hors d'oeuvres.
502
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,580
What kind of party is this?
(audience laughing)
503
00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,680
- Hey, the way he disappeared
from your office, Mr. B,
504
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,610
I'll be surprised if
he ever shows his face
505
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:14,680
around here again.
506
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,390
(audience laughing)
507
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,860
- Screech, where's Zack?
508
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,990
- Well, I don't know, but I
found this tape in my locker.
509
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,530
I think I'm supposed to
play it for everybody.
510
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:28,460
- What makes you think that?
511
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,100
- It says play it for everybody.
512
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:33,100
(audience laughing)
513
00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,310
- Hi, I'm Zack Morris,
514
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:40,070
sole member of the
slime ball team.
515
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,880
I guess you all know about
the video dating tape.
516
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,280
Well, I'm sorry, I never
meant to hurt anybody.
517
00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:50,580
Kelly, you were
right to dump me.
518
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,420
I don't deserve to have
you as my girlfriend.
519
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,260
But then, neither does Vince.
520
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:57,390
Screech.
521
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,630
- It's the friendship
ring I gave him.
522
00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:04,030
- Hey, Screech,
give her a tissue.
523
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:07,400
- Okay, Zach.
(audience laughing)
524
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:17,210
(audience laughing)
525
00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:19,480
(coughing)
526
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,520
(audience laughing)
527
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:27,290
(audience laughing)
528
00:20:27,290 --> 00:20:30,120
- Jessie, Mr. Belding,
you trusted me
529
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,260
to produce Bayside's
video yearbook.
530
00:20:32,260 --> 00:20:33,790
- What were we thinking?
531
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,230
- What were you thinking?
(audience laughing)
532
00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:38,000
I'm sorry I betrayed your trust,
533
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,600
but I did finish the yearbook.
534
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:47,510
Now, as far as
sales are concerned,
535
00:20:47,510 --> 00:20:49,510
I used the money I made
from the dating tapes
536
00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:52,310
to buy copies of the video
yearbook for the whole school.
537
00:20:53,350 --> 00:20:55,420
(audience laughing)
538
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,050
Don't worry, Screech, they'll
be delivered Monday morning.
539
00:20:58,050 --> 00:20:59,850
- Oh, good, I
thought I lost 'em.
540
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,260
- I'm sorry for
messing up your lives,
541
00:21:03,260 --> 00:21:05,130
but you'll never
have to see me again
542
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,260
'cause I'm going to
a military school.
543
00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:08,090
(dramatic music)
544
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,800
Goodbye forever.
545
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:14,100
(audience sighing)
546
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:17,070
- I can't believe it,
he's finally gone!
547
00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:19,210
- It's like a dream come true!
548
00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:20,340
- Free at last!
549
00:21:20,340 --> 00:21:21,210
- All right!
550
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:23,110
(cheering)
551
00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:25,810
- What, oh, man, I
can't believe you guys!
552
00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:27,450
(audience laughing)
553
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,680
What, it's not like
it's the worst thing
554
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,580
I've ever done before,
I said I was sorry.
555
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:32,090
I even got you yearbooks.
556
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:33,920
What more do you want?
557
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,160
- [All] Gotcha!
558
00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:37,460
(audience laughing)
559
00:21:37,460 --> 00:21:40,190
(dramatic music)
560
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:47,130
(upbeat music)
40311
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