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1
00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,130
(bell ringing)
2
00:00:03,130 --> 00:00:04,670
♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪
3
00:00:04,670 --> 00:00:06,270
♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪
4
00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:09,070
♪ I don't think I'll
ever make it on time ♪
5
00:00:09,070 --> 00:00:10,540
♪ By the time I grab my books ♪
6
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:12,110
♪ And I give myself a look ♪
7
00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:15,510
♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪
8
00:00:15,510 --> 00:00:20,520
♪ It's alright, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
9
00:00:21,420 --> 00:00:22,920
♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪
10
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,250
♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪
11
00:00:24,250 --> 00:00:27,320
♪ And my dog ate all
my homework last nite ♪
12
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:28,720
♪ Riding low in my chair ♪
13
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,290
♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪
14
00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:33,730
♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow, it'll be all right ♪
15
00:00:33,730 --> 00:00:38,600
♪ It's alright, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
16
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,570
(lively rock music)
17
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,050
♪ It's alright, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
18
00:00:55,050 --> 00:00:58,150
♪ It's alright, 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪
19
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:02,990
♪ It's alright, 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪
20
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,300
(lively rock music)
21
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,410
- Science projects
are due this week.
22
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:20,540
I'm working with Jessie on
a micro listening device.
23
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:21,510
We're the perfect team.
24
00:01:21,510 --> 00:01:22,440
She works hard.
25
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,780
I hardly work.
26
00:01:23,780 --> 00:01:25,910
(audience laughing)
27
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,180
- Ah, Mr. Morris,
28
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,580
shouldn't we be working
on our science project?
29
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,790
- I'm sorry, Mr. Tuttle,
30
00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:33,650
but science just
doesn't turn me on.
31
00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:37,390
- Oh, hooey, science is
the ultimate turn on.
32
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:38,330
Let me show you.
33
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,160
Walk this way.
34
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:45,330
(audience laughing)
35
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:46,500
What have we here?
36
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,670
Intrigue us with your ingenuity.
37
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:51,170
- The ultimate bike
riding accessory.
38
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,140
A portable bug zapper.
39
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:54,780
- [Boy In Mask] You can
peddle as fast as you want
40
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:56,380
without swallowing flies.
41
00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:58,950
- All right, Morris,
let's hustle.
42
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,220
Now look, what is
this fascinating
43
00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:05,690
phenomenon of physicality?
44
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:06,950
- It's a love machine, sir.
45
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,460
- I've been called that.
46
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,090
- Yeah, you've been
called a lot of things.
47
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:11,190
(Kelly chuckles)
48
00:02:11,190 --> 00:02:12,460
(audience laughing)
49
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:13,930
- If two people have any
feeling for each other,
50
00:02:13,930 --> 00:02:15,630
this machine would tell us.
51
00:02:15,630 --> 00:02:19,270
- Affection detection,
a fine selection.
52
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:22,740
Now, onto more
tantalizing topics.
53
00:02:22,740 --> 00:02:23,770
- [Zack] Mm.
54
00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:27,070
(audience laughing)
55
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,840
- Why look, whirling
wheels of wonderment.
56
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,410
- Whoopee, wow, and wazoo!
57
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:33,410
(audience laughing)
58
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:36,150
- Mr. T., you're
looking at gas powered,
59
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:39,520
turbo charged
limousines for the feet.
60
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,020
- Like, these blaster blades
61
00:02:41,020 --> 00:02:43,490
are gonna totally rewrite
the books on speed skating.
62
00:02:43,490 --> 00:02:45,360
Are there any books
on speed skating?
63
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,590
(audience laughing)
64
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,960
- Excuse us, class.
65
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,630
Sorry for the
interruption, Mr. Tuttle.
66
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:51,270
- Not as sorry as I am.
67
00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:52,470
(audience laughing)
68
00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:54,840
- I have a new student
for your class.
69
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,770
I'd like for all of you
to meet Jennifer Wade.
70
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:58,610
- Hi!
71
00:02:58,610 --> 00:03:00,040
- Good morning.
72
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,880
- Whoa, Slater, check
out the new girl, Slater.
73
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,250
- Just shh.
74
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,450
- I'm serious,
man, check her out.
75
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:09,380
- Shh, preppy, shut
up, I'm in big trouble.
76
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,490
That's my girlfriend
from Germany.
77
00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:14,090
(bell ringing)
78
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,000
(audience laughing)
79
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,460
- Ladies, ladies, I want you
80
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,400
to make sure that
Jennifer feels at home.
81
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,000
You see, her
father's in the Army,
82
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,100
and she's never been to
school here in the states.
83
00:03:29,110 --> 00:03:30,410
- We got it covered,
Mr. Belding.
84
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,270
- Yeah, don't worry,
she's in great hands.
85
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,940
- Thanks for
everything, Mr. Belding.
86
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,810
I mean it's really
good to be home.
87
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:37,680
- Any time, Jennifer,
and remember,
88
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,350
here at Bayside, the
principal's door is always open.
89
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:44,690
(door thudding)
90
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,720
(audience laughing)
91
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,320
It's open if I wanna
go in right now,
92
00:03:50,590 --> 00:03:52,830
but I don't (clears throat)
93
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:53,960
(audience laughing)
94
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,660
- Um, so, you're from Germany.
95
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,000
Welcome to our country.
96
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,340
English is an easy
language to learn.
97
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:03,740
- Thank you, but I already know.
98
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,270
- See, you're learning fast.
99
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:07,810
(audience laughing)
100
00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:09,880
I'll be right back.
101
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,380
I'm going to what we
Americans call a locker.
102
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,150
(audience laughing)
103
00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:18,290
- And he is what we
Americans call an idiot.
104
00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:22,020
(audience laughing)
105
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:23,220
- So, when my family moved,
106
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,430
and Jennifer and I
never really broke up.
107
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:26,690
- So, wait a minute.
108
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,430
Now, you're saying you
have two girlfriends?
109
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:30,470
So, what's the big
deal, that's great.
110
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,600
- Yeah, well, Jessie
won't think it's great.
111
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,100
- That's a good point.
112
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,740
- Look, you've gotta help me
keep Jennifer and Jessie apart
113
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:37,440
util I can figure
out what to do.
114
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,840
- No problem.
115
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,980
- Hey guys, come on
over and meet Jennifer.
116
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,880
- Albert Clifford, is that you?
117
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,050
- Albert?
118
00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,420
- Clifford?
119
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,590
(Zack chuckles)
(audience laughing)
120
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,420
- That's why I
shortened it to A.C.
121
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:54,260
- [Zack] Oh.
122
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,520
- I can't believe it.
123
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:58,160
I mean it's so good
to see you, Albert.
124
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,660
You go to school here?
125
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,030
- Ah, yeah, yeah, it's
great to see you too, Jen.
126
00:05:02,030 --> 00:05:03,530
- You two know each other?
127
00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:06,070
- Sure looks like Al and
Jen know each other, Jess.
128
00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:07,600
(audience laughing)
129
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,040
- Ah, Jennifer and I used to
live next door to each other
130
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,570
on my dad's Army base.
131
00:05:10,570 --> 00:05:11,970
- Really, that's amazing.
132
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,640
- Well, why don't we hear more
about little Alby over lunch.
133
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,150
- We can't, we have Student
Council meeting, you know that.
134
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:21,750
- Oh, where has my mind gone?
135
00:05:21,750 --> 00:05:23,790
- My dad asks me
that all the time.
136
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,990
(audience laughing)
137
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,060
- Hey guys, listen, why
don't Zack, Screech, and I
138
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:29,220
take Jennifer to The Max?
139
00:05:29,230 --> 00:05:30,860
- That is a great idea, Slater.
140
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:31,760
- Yeah.
141
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:32,760
- Bye.
142
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:33,700
- Bye, guys.
143
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,430
(Kelly and Jessie giggling)
144
00:05:34,430 --> 00:05:35,660
- See ya's.
145
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,160
Jen listen, you go
ahead with them,
146
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,200
and I'll catch up with you
in a few minutes, okay?
147
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,130
- Okay.
148
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,300
- All right, see you later.
149
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,240
- Now, don't worry,
foreign lady.
150
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,100
I'll read the menu for you.
151
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,440
(audience laughing)
152
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,440
(lively rock music)
153
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:52,950
- Now remember, Screech,
154
00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,180
you can't let Jennifer find out
155
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:56,050
that Slater is Jessie's
boyfriend, all right,
156
00:05:56,050 --> 00:05:57,220
so don't say a word.
157
00:05:57,220 --> 00:05:59,150
- Okay, can I burp?
158
00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:00,360
(audience laughing)
159
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,060
- Don't even open
your mouth, all right.
160
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,700
- Oh, hey guys, are the
hamburgers any good here?
161
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:10,530
- Mm mm.
162
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:13,370
(audience laughing)
163
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,800
- Yeah, the
hamburgers are great.
164
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,570
So, you and Slater were
going steady in Germany?
165
00:06:17,570 --> 00:06:19,110
- For 14 months.
166
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:20,340
- Oh.
167
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:21,580
- And then his dad
got transferred.
168
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,110
- Wanna tell ya,
if I were Slater,
169
00:06:23,110 --> 00:06:24,210
I'd let my dad move and I
would've stayed with you.
170
00:06:24,210 --> 00:06:25,410
- (chuckles) Oh, thanks.
171
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,480
You know, when Albert left,
172
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,720
we made one of those promises
173
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,590
that we wouldn't go out
with anyone else ever.
174
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:31,420
- Oh (sighs).
175
00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:32,250
- Can you believe that?
176
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,290
- Mm hmm.
177
00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:36,690
(audience laughing)
178
00:06:36,690 --> 00:06:38,460
- Hey Jen, remember this shirt?
179
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:39,960
You gave it to me.
180
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,130
- (chuckles) Yeah,
it still looks good.
181
00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:44,600
- Hey guys, thanks for keeping
Jennifer company for me.
182
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,670
You probably have some
things you wanna do now.
183
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:50,370
- Uh, no, we're fine
right here, big Al.
184
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:52,270
(audience laughing)
185
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,410
- Beat it, Zack.
186
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:54,810
- Yes.
187
00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:57,310
- Great news, Student
Council meeting was canceled.
188
00:06:57,310 --> 00:06:58,850
- [Slater] Why?
189
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:00,650
- Jessie slammed her gavel on
Ronald Geekman's hand so hard,
190
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:01,680
that his retainer flew out,
191
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,050
and hit Mr. Belding in the eye.
192
00:07:03,050 --> 00:07:04,790
(audience laughing)
193
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,020
- It was an accident.
194
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,220
Besides, Geekman's
got a big mouth.
195
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,360
- Yes, well, I'll, I'll
see you guys later.
196
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,730
- Well wait, where
you guys going?
197
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,130
The food hasn't even come yet.
198
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,360
Sit, stay, eat.
199
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,700
(audience laughing)
200
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,830
- So, Jennifer,
tell us all about
201
00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:18,800
Albert Clifford back in Germany.
202
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,940
- Oh gosh, no one wants to
hear about boring old me.
203
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,170
- Yes, we do.
204
00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,170
Did Slater have a
lot of girlfriends?
205
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,110
- Oh, not a lot, just one.
206
00:07:26,110 --> 00:07:28,210
- Uh, um, Slater,
you Jennifer and I,
207
00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,640
we should really go
see how Mr. Belding is.
208
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,580
I've heard retainer
wounds are very dangerous.
209
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:32,850
- Oh, excruciating.
210
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,450
- Oh stay, the big
baby's all right.
211
00:07:34,450 --> 00:07:37,350
- You know, I'm curious
about Albert myself.
212
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,550
Is he a big man on
campus here too?
213
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,460
- Oh yeah, Slater's quarterback
of the football team.
214
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,120
- Yeah, and don't forget
captain of the wrestling team.
215
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,690
- And his girlfriend Jessie's
president of the school.
216
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:49,460
(audience laughing)
217
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,470
- So, you two are
going together?
218
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:53,300
- Yeah.
219
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,000
- Oh, gosh, look at the time.
220
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,740
I have to go meet my guidance
counselor now, excuse me.
221
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:02,040
- Well gee, guys,
we gotta go too.
222
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,550
Come here, come here.
223
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,680
I told you not to tell Jennifer
about Slater and Jessie.
224
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,680
- So, I forgot, sue me.
225
00:08:08,690 --> 00:08:11,690
(audience laughing)
226
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,890
Love machine
experiment number two.
227
00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,560
(love machine buzzing)
228
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,430
Contrary to popular belief,
229
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:22,800
peanut butter and jelly
230
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,830
have no visible
feelings for each other.
231
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,430
(audience laughing)
232
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,240
- You know, that Jennifer's
a really sweet girl.
233
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,570
I'd like to spend some time
with her and get to know her.
234
00:08:31,570 --> 00:08:33,370
- Yeah, I wouldn't
mind that myself.
235
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:37,110
(chuckles) Let's finish
this first, there we go.
236
00:08:38,210 --> 00:08:39,910
- Hey, Screech, could
you help us out?
237
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,850
Zack and I finally finished
our micro listener,
238
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:43,780
but we need someone
to test its range.
239
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,690
- See now, we hid the
device in this pen,
240
00:08:45,690 --> 00:08:47,220
so all you need to do is
walk through the halls,
241
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,060
and it should pick up any
conversation around you.
242
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,360
- Always the guinea
pig, never the guinea.
243
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,830
(audience laughing)
244
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:57,160
- Well, you could've told
me you had a girlfriend.
245
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,170
- Well, I never expected
to see you again, Jen.
246
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,840
I didn't know what to do,
247
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,500
but the minute I saw you,
248
00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,610
it was like nothing had changed.
249
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:06,010
- I feel the same way.
250
00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:09,640
- Ah look, this isn't
a smart place to talk.
251
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,850
Why don't you give
me your phone number,
252
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,680
and I'll call you tonight, okay?
253
00:09:12,680 --> 00:09:13,950
- Okay.
254
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,150
- Hey, Screech, let
me borrow this pen.
255
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:16,850
- Oh, but it's not
really a pen, Slater.
256
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:18,620
- Hey, if it has ink, it'll do.
257
00:09:18,620 --> 00:09:20,860
Here Jen, right
down your number.
258
00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:24,060
- Oh, but, got, oh, oh my gosh.
259
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,690
(audience laughing)
260
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,260
- Why does he want her number?
261
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:29,260
- Well, the micro
listener works just fine.
262
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:30,770
Let's call it a day.
263
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,300
- Move it or lose it.
264
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,570
(audience laughing)
265
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:35,100
- Boy, I never
expected my girlfriend
266
00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:37,870
to show up from half
way around the world.
267
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:39,370
- Girlfriend?
268
00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:41,880
- Well, yeah, sure, she's a
girl and she's an old friend.
269
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,380
There, feel better?
270
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,580
- Outta my way.
271
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,080
I'm gonna break
his cheating heart.
272
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,080
- (sighs) Boy, can't let my
good friends, Jessie and Slater,
273
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,590
break up over a girl,
274
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,190
especially one I'd like to date.
275
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:01,460
- I'm dead, Jessie's
gonna rip my eyes out,
276
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,460
punch my face in,
277
00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:03,860
then break up with me.
278
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,170
It's her usual pattern.
279
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:06,430
(audience laughing)
280
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,370
- Look, Slater, the
only way out of this
281
00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:08,570
is for you to tell Jessie
282
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:10,200
that it's over between
you and Jennifer.
283
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,040
- Yeah, but it's not.
284
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,470
that's the problem.
285
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,110
What am I gonna do?
286
00:10:14,110 --> 00:10:16,280
- Well, you gotta make up
your mind who you really want.
287
00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,850
- Right, who do I want?
288
00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,310
(audience laughing)
289
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,550
- All right, let's do a
little comparison shopping.
290
00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:22,680
Now, first you have Jennifer.
291
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,690
I mean she's very, very average.
292
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,090
Then there's Jessie.
293
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:28,760
I mean she's bright, beautiful,
extremely above average.
294
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,760
Your sweet, loving, mama.
295
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,600
- Yeah, yeah, she is
my mama, isn't she?
296
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,460
- Well, there's your
decision, dump Jennifer.
297
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,260
- Right.
298
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,530
- Yes.
299
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,640
- Wrong, oh preppie, I
don't know what I want.
300
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,240
Come on, slap some
sense into me.
301
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,640
- Would you get ahold
of yourself, Slater.
302
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:45,710
(hands thudding)
303
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,540
(audience laughing)
304
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:48,840
- You know what?
305
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:49,810
If there was only
some way Jennifer
306
00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,150
wasn't such a threat to Jessie.
307
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:52,450
- Yeah, yeah, you know what?
308
00:10:52,450 --> 00:10:53,980
You need some guy
to ask Jennifer out
309
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:55,380
to take the heat
off you for awhile.
310
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:57,920
- Right, but where am
I gonna find this guy?
311
00:10:59,120 --> 00:10:59,920
(audience laughing)
312
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,220
Preppie, how about you?
313
00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:05,630
(audience laughing)
314
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:08,830
- Woosh, Slater, I
just came from school.
315
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,330
Jessie's on a rampage.
316
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:12,700
She spray painted death
to Slater on your locker.
317
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,140
(audience laughing)
318
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,940
- No problem, Screech, Zack's
gonna ask Jennifer out,
319
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,040
so Jessie won't be jealous.
320
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,310
I'm home free.
321
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,980
- I'll ask again.
322
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:24,650
Why did you want
her phone number?
323
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:25,880
- Could you loosen
up a little bit.
324
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,850
I'm loosing vision
in my right eye.
325
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:29,480
(audience laughing)
326
00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:31,550
- Tell me now
before I get angry.
327
00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:33,590
- Okay, I needed the number,
328
00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:34,790
because I couldn't bring myself
329
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:37,690
to tell her in person
that it was over.
330
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,560
- Then it's definitely over?
331
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:40,630
- Absolutely (coughs).
332
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,070
Now, will you pop
the back of my neck,
333
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,630
so that my Adam's apple
snaps back into place?
334
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,070
(audience laughing)
335
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:49,040
(hand thuds)
336
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,370
(audience laughing)
337
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:51,170
- Bye, sweetie.
338
00:11:57,510 --> 00:12:02,220
Zack, I want you to
ask Jennifer on a date.
339
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:04,020
- Me, date Jennifer (chuckles)?
340
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,550
(audience laughing)
341
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,390
But why?
342
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:12,160
- I wanna test big
Al's true feelings.
343
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,430
If my jerk from Germany
344
00:12:13,430 --> 00:12:16,400
sees you with Jennifer
and doesn't care,
345
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,660
then I know he's mine.
346
00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:22,500
- Okay, but only because we're
friends and you're paying.
347
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,500
(audience laughing)
348
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,470
- Screech!
349
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:25,710
(head thuds)
350
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:26,870
I feel terrible.
351
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,740
I mean, Jessie won't talk to me.
352
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,080
- Oh, don't worry.
353
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,280
The minute you and Zack
354
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,610
show up on your fake
date at The Max,
355
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:33,680
Jessie will like you again,
356
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,520
and Slater will be off the hook.
357
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,020
- What fake date?
358
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,290
- The one Slater asked
Zack to take you on,
359
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,660
but shh, don't let
Jessie find out.
360
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,030
(audience laughing)
361
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,960
- Date Zack, huh?
362
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,100
Okay, if Albert wants
me to date Zack,
363
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,470
then I'll teach him a
lesson he'll never forget.
364
00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:58,140
(lively music)
365
00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,440
- Look who's here.
366
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,180
- Look who's here, yeah,
it's Zack and Jennifer.
367
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,110
- Hi, guys, you
all know Jennifer.
368
00:13:04,110 --> 00:13:04,950
- [Jessie] Hi.
369
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,180
- Hi.
370
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:07,580
- Look, I hope you
guys don't mind,
371
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:08,380
but I kind of plan on
Jennifer and I sitting alone.
372
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:09,580
- Oh, I don't mind.
373
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,450
Do you mind, Slater?
374
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:11,850
- No, I don't mind.
375
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:17,220
(audience laughing)
376
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:23,560
- Oh, look at the way
they're holding hands.
377
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,200
- What can I get you guys?
378
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,370
- Well, how about one burger
and we'll meet at the pickle?
379
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,440
(audience laughing)
380
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,470
- Can you rush that order?
381
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,040
- Yeah.
382
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:34,640
(mellow music)
383
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,190
- It's gettin' hot
and heavy over there.
384
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,520
- Boy, Zack didn't
waste any time,
385
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,960
but I guess there's
nothing wrong
386
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,120
with Zack dancing with
Jennifer, is there, Slater?
387
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,590
- No, I'm happy
they're hitting it off,
388
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,700
(chuckles) real happy.
389
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,630
- If you'll excuse me,
I'll be right back.
390
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,400
You're doing great.
391
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,040
- Hold me closer, Zack.
392
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,110
- Only if you insist.
393
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:13,050
- May I cut in?
394
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,020
- Sure.
395
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,480
- (chuckles) Thank you.
396
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,620
Jen, uh listen, I thought maybe
after I dropped off Jessie,
397
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,860
I'd come by your
house and we can talk.
398
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,890
- Well, you better call first,
399
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:25,930
because I'm going to
the beach with Zack.
400
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,060
- Wait right here.
401
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:29,900
Be right back.
402
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,770
Hey, a walk on the beach?
403
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:34,970
What're you doing?
404
00:14:34,970 --> 00:14:36,940
- I'm just trying to
make it look convincing.
405
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:38,110
- Yeah, well, you're supposed
406
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:39,670
to be convincing
Jessie, not Jennifer.
407
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,680
- Now, our next presenters
are Kelly and Screech,
408
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,450
and the Love Detector.
409
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:49,180
- [Slater] All
right, begin Screech.
410
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:51,520
- [Boy] Yes.
411
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,620
- [Zack] Pretty neat, Screech.
412
00:14:54,620 --> 00:14:56,460
- When two people are
hooked up to the machine,
413
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:57,890
their feelings for each other
414
00:14:57,890 --> 00:15:00,160
are registered on the front
scale, any volunteers?
415
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,660
- How about Zack and Jennifer?
416
00:15:02,770 --> 00:15:05,000
- Ingenious idea.
417
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,130
Fly lovebirds to the meat-meter.
418
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:10,140
(audience laughing)
419
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:14,840
- [Screech] Wow Jennifer,
you have soft, lovely hands.
420
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,310
- They're mine, nimwad.
421
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,480
(audience laughing)
422
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:18,310
- Sorry, Zack.
423
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:22,750
Our subjects are connected.
424
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,290
Kelly, hit the juice.
425
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:30,260
(machine ringing and buzzing)
426
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:31,690
- Very compatible.
427
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,590
- Oh, way to go,
preppie, thanks a lot.
428
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,900
I ask you to do me one favor,
429
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,860
and you wind up
stealing my girlfriend.
430
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,600
(audience scoffs)
431
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,100
- She's still your girlfriend?
432
00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:44,700
- Ah, well, I mean
my old girlfriend,
433
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:45,970
but, but, you see.
434
00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:48,710
I don't know.
435
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,780
It's all this stupid
machines fault.
436
00:15:49,780 --> 00:15:51,450
(machine ringing and buzzing)
437
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,910
(audience laughing)
438
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,350
Jessie, wait, I.
439
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,550
(mellow music)
440
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,360
- That's it, me and the
neanderthal are through.
441
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:12,270
- Jessie, Slater didn't try
to deliberately hurt you.
442
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:14,800
He just got caught
in a weird situation.
443
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,070
- Well, he could've come to me!
444
00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:18,510
He could've told me the truth!
445
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:21,640
I happen to be a very
understanding person, you know.
446
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:23,040
(foot thuds)
447
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:23,880
(audience laughing)
448
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,380
- I sense that.
449
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:26,810
You know, you're the only
one who's gonna lose,
450
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,280
if you break up with Slater.
451
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,480
You'll just be driving
him back to Jennifer.
452
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:34,390
- That's where he wants to be.
453
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,790
- You don't know that for sure.
454
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:41,300
Maybe they should go on a date
to see how they really feel.
455
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,830
- What?
456
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:47,000
- Jessie, sometimes you
have to let go of a person
457
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,540
to find out if there's
something there to hold onto.
458
00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:52,940
- I don't wanna lose Slater.
459
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:54,670
I love him.
460
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,980
(mellow music)
461
00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:12,290
- Jessie, Jessie, look.
462
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,000
I should've told you
from the beginning.
463
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,200
I'm sorry I hurt you.
464
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,930
- Do you still like Jennifer?
465
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,770
- That doesn't really matter.
466
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:25,770
You're my girl now.
467
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:31,650
- No, Slater, look, it's obvious
468
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:34,210
that you and Jennifer have
feelings for each other.
469
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,620
You need to go out and
see what's really there.
470
00:17:39,390 --> 00:17:40,220
- Are you sure?
471
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,430
- Yeah, but if you pick her,
I get to keep your jacket.
472
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,530
(audience laughing)
473
00:17:47,530 --> 00:17:50,000
- Mama, you're the greatest.
474
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,700
- Just remember that on
your date, Albert Clifford.
475
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,770
(mellow music)
476
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:02,940
- Hey, you sure you
wanna sit up front, Jen?
477
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,450
- Mm hmm.
478
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,680
- We always used to sit in
the back at the Berlinoplex.
479
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,380
- I know, but I like
to sit closer now.
480
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,950
(lively music)
481
00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,790
- Yeah, I like to
sit closer too.
482
00:18:22,430 --> 00:18:25,430
(audience laughing)
483
00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:27,430
- No, I changed my mind.
484
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,440
I don't wanna go through
with this anymore.
485
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,600
(audience laughing)
486
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:31,070
- Look, my romantic
future depends
487
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,710
on what happens here tonight.
488
00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,580
Besides, you like Jennifer too.
489
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,780
You wanna see her
end up with Slater?
490
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,480
- No, but come on,
491
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,580
why do I have to dress
up as the old lady?
492
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,020
- Because the support hose we're
cutting off my circulation.
493
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:44,620
Now, stop complaining.
494
00:18:44,620 --> 00:18:46,620
We got the senior
discount, didn't we?
495
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:50,260
(audience laughing)
496
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:51,460
(feet thudding)
497
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:54,460
(audience laughing)
498
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,900
What do you think?
499
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:04,640
Does it look like
they're bonding?
500
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,870
- No way, they're still eating
popcorn from separate tubs.
501
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:08,710
(audience laughing)
502
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:09,540
- Shh!
503
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:10,380
- Sorry, sonny.
504
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,950
(audience laughing)
505
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:14,450
- You're gonna love
this movie, Jen.
506
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:16,850
I heard Mel Gibson
is great in it.
507
00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:19,090
- Actually, I'm getting
tired of Mel Gibson.
508
00:19:19,090 --> 00:19:20,950
I like Kevin Costner now.
509
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,790
- Kevin Costner?
510
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:22,920
- Mm hmm.
511
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,730
- Yeah, he's okay, I guess.
512
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:26,560
- What'd they say?
513
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,390
I can't hear them.
514
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,430
- I don't know.
515
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:29,530
My girdle's killing me.
516
00:19:29,530 --> 00:19:32,530
(audience laughing)
517
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:39,410
- Can I help you with something?
518
00:19:39,410 --> 00:19:41,510
- Well, you just back up there,
519
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:43,010
because see, I
have mace in here.
520
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:44,180
- Sorry.
521
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:45,180
- Yes, you should be,
522
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:46,410
because it's people like you
523
00:19:46,420 --> 00:19:47,650
that don't make it
safe for us anymore.
524
00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:50,650
(audience laughing)
525
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:52,550
- What're you doing?
526
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,790
You're gonna blow it.
527
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:55,090
- Great, you just
broke your bra.
528
00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:57,060
(audience laughing)
529
00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:58,790
- Move down, sweetie.
530
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:10,370
Hey, it's fun being together
like this again, isn't it, Jen?
531
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:13,610
- If you don't mind, I like
being called Jennifer now.
532
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,210
- Oh, I'm sorry.
533
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:16,840
- That's okay, Alby.
534
00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:21,620
- While we're on name changes,
it's A.C. now, not Alby,
535
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,280
and please can Clifford.
536
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,490
- Great, I can't hear them.
537
00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:28,220
- Well, it doesn't
look so good from here.
538
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,390
- (groans) Ow.
539
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:32,660
- What's wrong?
540
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,030
- My neck hurts.
541
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:36,260
Someone twisted it this morning.
542
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,030
- Well here, let
me rub it for you.
543
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,600
- Oh, great.
544
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,770
- Oh, my gosh,
they're gonna kiss.
545
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,640
- I can't take this anymore.
546
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,910
- Wait, oh geez, whoa.
547
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:51,380
(feet thuds)
548
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:54,350
(audience laughing)
549
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,820
- Kelly, check out
that old couple.
550
00:20:59,820 --> 00:21:01,820
They keep making weird noises.
551
00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:03,860
(Zack and Jessie moaning)
552
00:21:03,860 --> 00:21:06,990
- Excuse me, is there
anything I can do for you?
553
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,630
- Yeah, do you have anything
on the menu for a broken heart?
554
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:13,800
- Oh, we're fine, Kelly,
just a little depressed.
555
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,870
- Zack, Jessie, is that you?
556
00:21:15,870 --> 00:21:17,000
(audience laughing)
557
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:19,070
- Yeah, we got
dressed in disguises,
558
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:21,440
so we could spy on
Jennifer and Slater's date.
559
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,410
- That's terrible,
what happened?
560
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:26,150
- We left right before
they started making out.
561
00:21:26,150 --> 00:21:29,080
(Zack moans)
562
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,320
- Hey, Kelly, excuse me, folks.
563
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,520
Have you seen Zack and Jessie?
564
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,850
We need to talk to them.
565
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,230
(audience laughing)
566
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:48,970
- You mean you were the two
old geezers in the movies?
567
00:21:48,970 --> 00:21:50,040
(audience laughing)
568
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,710
- We apologize for spying.
569
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,310
I realize now that the two of
you were meant for each other.
570
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:59,950
- No, Jen and Albert Clifford
were meant for each other,
571
00:21:59,950 --> 00:22:01,550
but they grew up.
572
00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:02,750
- Yeah, we found out
573
00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:05,520
that Jennifer and
A.C. are just friends.
574
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:07,120
You're my girl.
575
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,860
(audience sighs)
576
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,360
(audience laughing)
577
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,830
- So (chuckles), Jennifer,
578
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,670
I guess this kinda makes
you available now, huh?
579
00:22:22,670 --> 00:22:24,370
- Yeah, kind of.
580
00:22:24,370 --> 00:22:25,210
- Yeah.
581
00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:26,870
- Zack, I was wondering,
582
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,170
do you like Kevin Costner?
583
00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:31,510
- Oh yes, he's great.
584
00:22:31,510 --> 00:22:33,550
He's almost cooler than
that Mel Gibson guy.
585
00:22:33,550 --> 00:22:34,550
(audience laughing)
586
00:22:34,550 --> 00:22:36,050
- Do you know a cute blond guy
587
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:37,980
who'd like to take me to
the movies tomorrow night?
588
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:41,190
- Well, I'm your man if I
don't have to wear this girdle.
589
00:22:41,190 --> 00:22:44,190
(audience laughing)
590
00:22:47,660 --> 00:22:50,800
(lively guitar music)
41534
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