All language subtitles for Saved by the Bell S03E15 Date Auction_track3_[eng]

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up
in the morning ♪

♪ And the alarm
gives out a warning ♪

♪ And I don't think I
ever make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books ♪

♪ And I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in
time to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test ♪

♪ I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate all my
homework last night ♪

♪ Riding low in my chair ♪

♪ She won't know
that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in
tomorrow it will be alright ♪

♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪

(upbeat theme music)

♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪

♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the ♪

♪ It's alright 'cause
I'm saved by the bell ♪

- Every student council meeting
has one thing in common -

screaming teenagers.

(students talking loudly)

- Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, please.

Now, does anyone
else have anything

to bring before the council?

- I do.

The cheerleading squad
desperately needs $600

for new uniforms.

- Well, let's give them $200
and make them wear bikinis.

(cheers and laughs)

- Good one, Zack.

- Don't encourage him,
he should be caged.

(audience laughs)

- I support the cheerleaders.

They represent our high school.

Their uniforms should
have the dignity

these ladies deserve.

(group applauds and cheers)

- Oh, yeah.

- Wait a minute now,
$600 is a lot of money.

- We have money.

How healthy is our
treasury, Wendy?

- It's on life support;
they've sent for a priest.

(laughter)

- Well, I'm afraid
the numbers never lie.

Maybe next year girls.

- Any other motions?

- Yeah, let's see the
cheerleaders in motion.

(cheers and laughter)

- I'm sorry, Jessie,
I'll never laugh again.

(laughter)

- How hard can it
be to raise $600?

- Okay, the floor is
open for suggestions.

- Well, how 'bout
a date auction?

I bet a lot of girls would
bid on Zack and Slater.

- Yeah, we could auction off
dates to the spring dance.

- Auctioning off dates
is sexist flesh peddling

and should be
strictly forbidden.

- All in favor?

- Aye!

(audience laughter)

(upbeat music)

- Did you see the way
Brian looked at me

when he said we were dignified?

He likes me.

- He likes you?

What are you talking about?

He just ignored you completely.

- You noticed it too?

I love it when they
play hard to get.

(audience laughs)

- I can't believe you
two voted against me.

I mean, auctioning off dates

is just a glorified meat market.

- Quit beefin', woman.

I'm single and I'm
after a prime hunk.

(audience oooohs and cheers)

- Hey, I bet I bring in more
cash than you at the auction.

- Yeah, well dream on Curly.

It will be the easiest
money I'll ever make.

- Oh yeah, watch
Dr. Love operate.

(audience laughs)

Claudia, how much would you pay
to go out on a date with me?

Now, take your time babe,
big numbers are tough.

(audience laughs)

- $50 not to date you.

(audience laughs)

- Beat that, knuckleheads.

(audience laughs)

(bell rings)

- Slater, we've gotta stop
this disgusting sexist,

dehumanizing auction.

- Come on Jessie, lighten up.

It'll be fun.

Besides, you can bid on me.

- It's just the principle; I
can't believe my own boyfriend

doesn't even support me.

Go ahead, sell your muscles,

but I'm not going
to bid on them.

(locker slams)

(audience ooohs)

- It's not good to be
afraid of your girlfriend.

(audience laughs)

- Hey Lisa, what do
you think of this?

(audience laughs)

- I think it will scare
the fleas off my dog.

(audience laughs)

Hi Brian.

It was really nice of you
to support the cheerleaders.

- It was nothing.

- What are you reading?

- The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

- Oh, a football book.

(audience laughs)

- No, the hunchback
didn't make the team.

(audience laughs)

This is a classic.

- Ever read Confessions
of a Mall Queen?

It's a classic too!

(audience laughs)

- Shucks, I'm afraid
I missed that one.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, don't worry, I
can lend you my copy.

(audience laughs)

So does your girlfriend mind
that you're in the auction?

- I don't have a girlfriend.

- Alright!

(audience laughs)

- Excuse me?

- I mean it's
alright to be single.

It's my favorite
quality in a man.

(audience laughs)

- Yeah, well, if
you'll excuse me,

I have to go to
a French lecture.

- Well, as they say in
France, bye bye baby.

(audience laughs)

- Sure.

(audience laughs)

- Ah, Linda, Linda, Linda,
what a beautiful name.

- It is, but mine is Lydia.

(audience laughs)

- Lydia, Lydia, Lydia, oh
it's so much nicer than Linda.

The date auction is
just a few days away.

Did you make any decisions yet?

- Not yet.

- Well, maybe you
need some coaching.

- Hi, can I get
you guys anything?

- Not unless you have a
date with Lydia on the menu.

(upbeat music and laughter)

- Now, about this date auction.

Anyone of you sweeties
dare bid on my Slater,

I'll hunt you down in the
streets like a rabid dog.

(locker slams)

Thank you, have a nice day.

(audience laughs)

(audience cheers)

- Come on Jessie, lighten up.

This date auction's
for a good cause.

- And besides, the
guys wanna do it,

so it's not sexist, it's sexy.

(audience laughs)

- You both make interesting
points, really fascinating,

but if either of you bid
on Slater, you're dead.

You got me?

(locker slams)

(audience ooohs)

- Who put sandpaper
on her toilet seat?

(audience laughs)

(upbeat music)

- Our next hunk to be
auctioned off is Herbert Hotus.

(audience laughs)

Herbert is Sergeant at
Arms of the Insect Club.

(audience laughs)

We'll start the bidding at $5.

Do I hear five,
gimme gimme five.

(sighs)

Going once, twice, sold to
Maris Clement for 15 cents.

(audience laughs)

- I didn't even expect that.

(audience laughs)

(audience awwws)

- Our next participant
is a straight A student

and Vice President of
the Student Council.

He is our very
own Brian Watkins.

(cheers)

- This one's mine.

Let the games begin.

(audience laughs)

- Do I hear a $5 donation?

- $5.

- Uh, $20.

- $25.

- $30, you top that
and I'll tell everyone

at school about
your training bra.

(audience laughs)

- I have $30 going
once, going twice.

(audience laughs)

You are promised to
Lisa Turtle for $30.

- Charge him please.

(audience laughs)

(applause)

- Next up, A.C. Slater!

(applause)

- Show 'em those biceps son.

Yeah, we'll start
the bidding at $5.

(audience laughs)

Okay, give me $4.

- Jessie, bid on him.

- Get real, missy.

- $3?

(audience laughs)

- Poor Slater, he
looks so embarrassed.

I bid $10.

(crowd reacts)

- I have $10, going
once, going twice,

you are promised
to Kelly Kapowski.

(applause)

- Slater, I forbid you
to go out with Kelly.

- Hey, she bid fair and square.

I guess I have a date for
the dance and you don't.

(audience ooohs)

- That's what you think, buster.

- Alright, our next eligible
hunk is one of my favorites.

- I bid $25 bucks.

- Sold.

(audience laughs)

We'll grow to love each other.

(audience laughs)

(applause)

- Our next participant
needs no introduction,

Zack Morris, come on down.

(loud cheering)

Okay, okay, now do I have $5?

- Baby, you've got $25.

- $30.

- I have $30, do I hear $35?

- $35.

- $40.

- Whoa, we've got heat
at $40, do I hear $50?

Anyone, $50?

- $50!

(audience laughs)

- I bid $75.

(crowd ooohs)

- Wow, $75.

Going once, going twice ...

- $100!

(crowd cheers)

- $100.

Wow, where do you kids get
your allowances anyway?

$100, going once, going twice,

Zack Morris, you are
promised to Wendy Parks.

(crowd cheers)

(upbeat music)

(audience laughs)

- Hi Brian.

Are you as excited
about the dance as I am?

- Certainly.

- Maybe we can even go
out before the dance.

- I don't think so, Lisa.

I mean, face it, we don't
have anything in common.

- Oh, well that's not true.

I mean we both
live in California,

we're both attending
the same school,

we're both ...

- Different.

I don't care about
fashion and you'd be bored

reading Catcher in the Rye.

- No, I wouldn't,
I love baseball.

(audience laughs)

- It's not about baseball, Lisa.

You see, it's about

alienation.

- Oh, I loved Alien Nation.

It was my favorite TV show.

(audience laughs)

- No Lisa, I gotta go.

Excuse me.

(audience cheers)

- Zack, hi, I saved us a table.

- Awww.

- You did?

- Yeah, lunch, remember?

We're going to talk
about the dance.

- Ah, well I'll leave
you two lovebirds alone.

- Zack, I am so
excited about our date

that I haven't been able to eat,

but I guess that's
good for me (laughs).

(audience laughs)

- Look, Wendy, I really
can't have lunch today.

- What's wrong?

- Oh, oh it's my back.

It's an old track injury.

(audience laughs)

I have to go to the doctor.

- You seemed fine earlier.

- Well, you never know
when it's going to hit.

- Is there anything I can do?

- Well, you can pray for me.

(audience laughs)

- Slater, I need to know
what you think about me.

You know, the real
me, the person.

- Okay, you're pretty,
you're fun at parties

and you never have bad breath.

(audience laughs)

- Anything else, a bit deeper?

- Okay, you're a great dancer.

- That's it.

- Well, yeah, I guess so.

- Then it's true.

I am an airhead.

- Lisa?

(audience awwws)

Boy, this is definitely
not my day with women.

(audience laughs)

(upbeat music)

- I'd like to report the new
uniforms have been ordered

with the money raised
at the auction.

(audience laughs)

Try and make these last,
Miss Rah Rah Sis Boom Bleh.

(audience laughs)

Meeting adjourned.

- Jessie's still mad at me.

Let's call the date off.

- No way.

Look, she started this and I'm
going to teach her a lesson.

- Sorry I'm late, I
was in the library,

reading up on
Tolstoy or Tolstoy,

as it is often pronounced
in Eastern Europe.

- What's with Lisa?

- The nail polish fumes must
have gotten to her head.

(audience laughs)

- Hello Brian.

- Lisa, is that you?

- (laughs) Of course it's me.

- You've really been
reading Tolstoy?

- I just loved Anna Karenina.

I cried at the end when she
threw herself under the train.

- Lisa, I'm impressed.

- Well, you inspired
me to become

a more serious student, Brian.

- Really?

Well, here let me help
you with those books.

I know a quiet little
corner in the library

where we can both read together.

- I hope I'm dressed right.

(audience laughs)

I mean the library
might be chilly.

- You can borrow my sweater.

(audience ooohs)

- Hi Zack, feeling better?

- Ah, well the doctors all
feel with intense acupuncture

needle therapy, deep tissue
massage and vitamin B shots,

I might recuperate and
live a normal life,

but of course, I won't
be able to dance.

- Well, I called your
house to see how you were

and your Mom said that
you were out surfing.

- Well, I was body surfing.

You see you have to
lie down to do that.

- Is this all so you don't have

to go to the dance
with me, isn't it?

- No, Wendy.

- Because I don't look
like Lydia or Kelly

or Elle McPherson.

- Wendy?

- Look, I've heard the
"I'm sick" excuses before,

but I thought you
were different.

I'll have more fun going
to the dance by myself.

At least I'll be with
someone who's honest.

(audience applause)

- Descartes was my
favorite philosopher.

He said, "I think,
therefore I am".

- Well yes, but I ask,
if I think not, am I not?

(audience laughs)

I think not.

Don't ya think?

(audience laughs)

- Lisa, I was wrong about you.

Your brainteasers
are driving me wild.

- Well, I've always
loved philosophy.

For example, what is art?

Are we art?

Is art art?

- Um, excuse me Lisa,
phone call, it's Art.

(audience laughs)

- Have you heard
yourself lately?

- Yeah, I'm good, aren't I?

Brian really likes the
new intellectual me.

- Brian isn't liking
the real Lisa.

He's liking some fake,
phony philosopher.

- Well, yeah, but this
phony has a boyfriend.

The old Lisa didn't.

- Zack, you've gotta help me.

Screech is driving me crazy.

- Yep, you and everyone else.

(audience laughs)

- He thinks he's
in love with me.

He keeps sending me
bouquets but no flowers.

(audience laughs)

And instead of candy, he
brings leftovers from home.

(audience laughs)

- Hello there, my
fairest, tallest,

no so long-legged
feminist, rrarrr.

(audience laughs)

- Help.

- I brought you something
to chew on between classes -

Mom's meatloaf, enjoy!

(audience moans)

- Ah, he's such a geek.

What's everyone going to
think when they see us

together at the dance?

- Oh, come on Jessie.

Screech may act like a crash
test dummy, but underneath,

he's a great guy.

- He's going to humiliate me
in front of the whole school.

I've got to get out of this.

- Jessie, you made a commitment.

You'll break dorky little
heart if you back out now.

(audience laughs)

- I sound stuck up
and awful, don't I?

- You sure do.

- You're right, I should give
the little booger a chance.

(audience laughs)

I mean, Wendy's not
exactly your type

but you're going with her.

- Uh, yeah right.

- Well then I'll do it.

Thanks, Zack, but you
take the meatloaf.

(audience laughs)

(upbeat music)

(audience laughs)

- What happened to
your date, Herbie?

- She told me she suddenly
had to move to Europe.

(audience laughs)

- Mine too.

What a coincidence!

Yeah, where's your date Morris?

- She decided not to go with me.

- That's not good.

You need to come up
with a better excuse.

(audience laughs)

- Yeah, like she joined
the space program.

(audience laughs)

- Hey, Wendy, where
have you been?

I've been looking
all over for you.

- I was at home.

What did you think, that
I suddenly moved to Europe

or joined the space program?

(audience laughs)

- Look, I'm sorry
about what I did,

but I'd like to dance with you.

- I guess that would be okay.

What changed your mind?

- Well, I made a commitment
to you and I want to keep it.

Boy, I sound like Oprah.

(audience laughs)

I just feel guilty
about dumping you.

- Oh, that's nice but I
don't want to be your date

because you feel guilty.

Thanks anyway, but I'd rather
hang out by the finger foods.

(audience laughs)

- When they need their algebra
done, they always come back.

(audience laughs)

- You know, Lisa, I used to
tell people they could see

the sunset if they
looked through your ears,

but you've changed.

- Well, I want you
to respect me, Brian.

I only go to foreign films now

and yesterday I
started French lessons.

- French lessons?

Parlez vous francais?

- Not yet, but I
love French toast!

(audience laughs)

It was a joke.

(audience laughs)

- Oh yes, and a
rather funny one too!

- You know Brian, instead of
that cello concert tomorrow,

I was thinking maybe we
could go to the mall?

- The mall?

Oh, I get it, you're
joking again (laughs).

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

- You really miss
Jessie, don't you?

- Come on, what makes
you say that Jessie?

- You see, you've been
calling me that all night.

We haven't moved in 20 minutes
and this is a fast dance.

(applause)

- Kelly, you better get ready
to show off the new uniforms.

- Slater, you gonna
be okay alone?

- Sure Jessie.

- He'll be fine.

Come on Slater, let's
go get some punch.

- Sure Mr. Jessie.

(audience laughs)

- Well that Spano's
one amazing chick.

Really gets my mojo going.

(audience laughs)

- I know she's
one terrific girl.

- You mean you miss her?

- Look, I don't want to
talk about it, Screech.

- Slater, are you okay?

Well, hang in there
you big galoot.

(audience laughs)

Jessie, get out on the
dance floor with Slater.

- What about us?

- Try to forget about me.

You're breaking his heart, mama.

(audience laughs)

- Hi there.

Mama's back.

(audience awws)

- Oh, look at Slater and
Jessie are back together.

Let's go talk to them.

- Talk to that Neanderthal?

Get real.

And Jessie's worse, what a
pseudo-intellectual neurotic.

(audience laughs)

- Don't you like
any of my friends?

- Are you kidding?

Worst of all, Zack,
even sleep requires

too much thinking for him.

(audience laughs)

You know, Lisa, I think it's
time you made some new friends.

- Well, excuse me for breathing.

I've had enough of you
Mister Too-Much-Attitude.

(audience cheers)

- What are you doing?

- Being moi.

Here's something I learned in
French class, au revoir creep!

(audience laughs)

- Attention everyone, attention!

Your captain of the cheerleading
squad, Kelly Kapowski!

(crowd cheers)

- This cheer's for you Bayside!

We needed new uniforms,

you knew we did,

so we banded together
and decided to bid.

They feel so good,
they fit so right.

Thank you, Bayside,
you're outta sight!

(crowd cheers)

- Alright kids, this is the
last dance, make it memorable.

(slow dance music)

- Hey Wendy, the dance is
almost over, whattya say?

- I thought we went over
this Zack, you don't have to.

- Give me a break, I want to.

(slow dance music)

- Mind of I cut in?

- Go ahead, it's alright.

- Oh, no thanks.

Wendy's my date tonight,
but we'll look for you

later at The Max.

- The Max?

You're asking me
out after the dance?

- Well yeah, we might
even have some fun.

I mean, if that's okay.

- No, fun is good, I like fun.

(audience laughs)

- And I like you.

(slow dance music)

(upbeat theme music)