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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,108 - guys with kidsis taped in 2 00:00:06,239 --> 00:00:08,108 Front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,676 - all right, 4 00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:09,676 I got my wrapkin on! 5 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,177 Everybody gather round. 6 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,545 - I wish 7 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,545 I had a wrapkin on. 8 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,813 Standing here 9 00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:13,813 Like a jerk, 10 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:18,118 All wrapkin-less 11 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:18,118 At a wrapkin launch party. 12 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,420 - all right, with the press 13 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:20,420 Of this button here, 14 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,556 The wrapkin website 15 00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:23,556 Will officially go live. 16 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,825 Now, I started the wrapkin 17 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:25,825 With the simple belief 18 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,727 That children, 19 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,727 Above all else, 20 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:31,564 Are disgusting, 21 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:31,564 Filthy little creatures. 22 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,366 All right? 23 00:00:31,598 --> 00:00:33,366 So I said to myself-- 24 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,402 - yippity doo! 25 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,803 - that's not what I said. 26 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,605 - shh, shh, shh. 27 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,605 - shh, shh, shh. 28 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:40,273 - it's one of violet's toys. 29 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:41,474 It's been going off 30 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:41,474 For three days, 31 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,709 And we can't find it. 32 00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,444 - hey, hey! 33 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,120 Back to me. 34 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:46,120 All right? 35 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,281 Because you are gonna wanna 36 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,281 Tell your friends 37 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,583 That you were here 38 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:50,583 When you saw this. 39 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,819 - all my friends 40 00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:52,819 Are playing paintball. 41 00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:57,390 - let it go. 42 00:00:52,852 --> 00:00:57,390 We said no. 43 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,592 [victorious music] 44 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:59,592 Voila! Look at that. 45 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,595 - this looks amazing! 46 00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,595 - yeah. 47 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,230 - wow, honey. 48 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,230 This could actually work! 49 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,232 - mm-hmm. 50 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,232 - oh, my god. 51 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,901 - what? 52 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:10,770 - what if this actually works? 53 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,473 H-how are you gonna do this 54 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:13,473 And take care of the kids? 55 00:01:13,506 --> 00:01:14,474 Oh, no, no, no, no. 56 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:15,909 - hey! Ho! 57 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,610 Easy. 58 00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:17,610 That's my computer. 59 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:20,447 It's not the necklace box 60 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:20,447 from pretty woman. 61 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,820 - you're gonna need 62 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,820 To hire some help, okay? 63 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,884 Because I am not 64 00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,884 Staying home with them. 65 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,654 No offense. 66 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,255 - I get it. 67 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,558 - hey, look, 68 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,558 I'm not gonna hire someone 69 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,726 To raise my kids, 70 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,726 All right, baby? 71 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,259 I'm gonna do both. 72 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,563 - there is no way 73 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,563 You can raise the kids 74 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,232 And launch a business. 75 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,900 You're already slacking 76 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,900 Since you started working again. 77 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,801 Huh? 78 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:47,207 I pulled a raisin out of that 79 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:47,207 Fat fold under robbie's chin. 80 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,808 It was hard. 81 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,311 It had been there awhile. 82 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,246 - yeah, but it's always good 83 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,246 To have some emergency snacks 84 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,315 Tucked away. 85 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,315 I could-- 86 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:57,350 I could probably comb 87 00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:57,350 An entire graham cracker 88 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,753 Out of freddie's hair 89 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,753 Right now. 90 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,288 - how did you get 91 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,288 In this conversation? 92 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:05,425 - I'm a guest of gary's. 93 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,760 - baby, nick gets me. 94 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,762 And he knows 95 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,762 That I can do it all. 96 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:09,963 I'm not like 97 00:02:08,794 --> 00:02:09,963 All the others, baby. 98 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,299 I'm a rare breed. 99 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,801 - well, we'll see, 100 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,801 Won't we? 101 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,369 - yes, you will. 102 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:17,804 And when you do see, 103 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,806 I won't even tell you 104 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,806 "I told you so." 105 00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:24,310 I'll just give you 106 00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:24,310 A look like this. 107 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:26,513 - yippity doo! 108 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:28,415 - we will find you. 109 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,618 - this does not end well 110 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:31,618 For you, toy! 111 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,421 - * life is 112 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:34,421 How you live it * 113 00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,389 - * ooh * 114 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,925 - * wake up 115 00:02:36,423 --> 00:02:38,925 Where you want to be * 116 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:40,527 - * hey, hey * 117 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,529 - * you and me * 118 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,529 - * ooh * 119 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,365 - * we're happy * 120 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,365 - * ooh, hey * 121 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,701 - * we need our friends 122 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,701 Like the sun * 123 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,402 - * everybody singin' * 124 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,539 - * why would you walk 125 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,539 When you can run? * 126 00:02:52,572 --> 00:02:53,940 - * everybody singin' * 127 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,976 - * why would you walk 128 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,976 When you can run? * 129 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,417 - hey, apartment. 130 00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,417 I'm home. 131 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:08,521 - hey, chris. 132 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:08,521 - apartment? 133 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,457 Oh! 134 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,457 Wha--what are you doing here? 135 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,580 - hey, I had to get away 136 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,580 From the toy, 137 00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:15,195 So I came down here 138 00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:15,195 To take a nap. 139 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,563 How are 140 00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,563 Your parents doing? 141 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,640 - oh, exhausting. 142 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,833 They insist 143 00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:19,833 That I'm not happy in new york, 144 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,401 And they want me 145 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,401 To move back home 146 00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:23,203 And live in my old bedroom, 147 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,473 Which they haven't touched 148 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:26,473 Since I left for college. 149 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,907 I love them, 150 00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,907 But they're driving me crazy. 151 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,709 All their attention 152 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,709 Is focused on me. 153 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,770 Lookit, lookit. 154 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,770 I found another gray hair. 155 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:32,579 - okay. 156 00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:32,579 - you see that? 157 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:33,646 - how do you manage 158 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,914 To work showing 159 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,914 Your chest off 160 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,916 Into every conversation? 161 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,752 - I'm just saying 162 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,752 It sucks being an only child. 163 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,987 - yeah, tell me about it. 164 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,987 - you're not an only child. 165 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:42,722 - no, I know, 166 00:03:41,870 --> 00:03:42,722 But if you had a sibling, 167 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,491 Then you could complain to them 168 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,491 About your parents, 169 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,920 And I wouldn't have to keep 170 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,920 Smelling salts on me 171 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,964 To stay awake 172 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,964 During our conversation. 173 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,734 - chris... 174 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,569 Ernie can't scribble. 175 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,570 - what are you 176 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:57,570 Talking about? 177 00:03:57,603 --> 00:03:58,938 - well, he was on a playdate 178 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,730 With that kid 179 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,730 Who looks like danny devito. 180 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,242 - oh! 181 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,242 I love that kid. 182 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,612 - okay, well, he was scribbling, 183 00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,612 So I gave ernie a crayon. 184 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,715 Nothing, not one scribble. 185 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,715 And I looked it up. 186 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,550 Children start scribbling 187 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,550 At age one, 188 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,218 And ernie is-- 189 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,218 He's older than one. 190 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,920 - yeah, well, I mean, you know, 191 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,920 So he's not scribbling. 192 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,689 Not every kid his age 193 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:15,689 Scribbles. 194 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,490 - freddie scribbles. 195 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,392 Scribbles all the time. 196 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,496 In fact, I'd say 197 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,496 He's on the verge of doodling. 198 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,964 All right, guys, 199 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,964 I am late to go help gary 200 00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:26,800 Sell his wrapkin, 201 00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:26,800 So... 202 00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:29,636 Just a little-- 203 00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:29,636 There we go. 204 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,271 Um, and I'm gonna be 205 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:31,271 Back here around 5:00 206 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:32,505 To take another nap. 207 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,506 So if you guys 208 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:33,506 Could not be here, 209 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,476 That would be great. 210 00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:38,780 - [sighs] 211 00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,246 Chris, we need to get ernie 212 00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:40,246 Some help, okay? 213 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,383 He is not even in school yet, 214 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,383 And he's already falling behind. 215 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,850 We have preschool interviews 216 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,850 Coming up, 217 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,253 And if he doesn't get 218 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,253 Into a good preschool 219 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,788 He doesn't get 220 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,788 Into a good high school, 221 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,457 He doesn't get 222 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,457 Into a good college. 223 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,759 - imagine if freddie 224 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,759 Goes to yale 225 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:56,496 And ernie 226 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:56,496 Doesn't even get in. 227 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,665 - oh, my god. 228 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:58,665 Now I'm getting a nosebleed! 229 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,668 - oh. 230 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:02,869 - ah. 231 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,504 Excuse me, ma'am, 232 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,504 How much 233 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,390 Is this t-shirt 234 00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,390 With the guitar on it? 235 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,507 - $120. 236 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,310 - wonderful! 237 00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:13,947 [mouths words] 238 00:05:14,470 --> 00:05:15,949 - good afternoon! 239 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,752 Perhaps do you sell 240 00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:18,752 A disposable smock 241 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,870 Or a bib for adults 242 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,870 To keep their children 243 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,822 From getting 244 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,822 Their clothes dirty 245 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,825 Like I have with 246 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,825 This unfortunate juice stain? 247 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,610 - mm, I'm sorry. 248 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,610 I don't believe we do. 249 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,630 - you know, that is a shame 250 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:30,630 Because I, 251 00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,132 A local millionaire, 252 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,134 Would buy thousands 253 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,134 Of such a product 254 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,870 If you had them. 255 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,872 - forgive me 256 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,872 For eavesdropping, 257 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,874 But are you familiar 258 00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,874 With the wrapkin? 259 00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,442 - no. 260 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,745 What, pray tell, 261 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,745 Is a wrapkin? 262 00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,113 - this is nice. 263 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,150 [whispering] 264 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:50,150 Reel it in! 265 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,619 The wrapkin does exactly 266 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,619 What you need it to do. 267 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,880 It's a disposable smock 268 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,880 That keeps your clothes clean 269 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,990 While your children's hands 270 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:56,990 Aren't. 271 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,625 Made in america. 272 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:00,326 Puerto rico counts. 273 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,896 - that actually sounds like 274 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,896 A really great idea. 275 00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,564 Uh, do you have a website? 276 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,767 - I do, I do. 277 00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,767 It's called thewrapkin.Com. 278 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,203 - well, it sounds like you two 279 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,203 Have some business to discuss. 280 00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,138 So long, gary. 281 00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,138 - what? 282 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,441 - stranger. 283 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,820 - man, it was great day 284 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:22,820 Of sales today, 285 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,510 Except for that last one 286 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:25,510 Where you pretended to be who? 287 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,540 - baron von lichtenstein, 288 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:32,359 Sole heir 289 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:32,359 To the romanian zinc fortune. 290 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,562 - mom, this is boring. 291 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,980 - I told you, whoever finds 292 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,980 The toy that's making the noise 293 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,967 Will become 294 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,967 My favorite kid. 295 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,671 Violet, I'm pulling for you. 296 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:44,671 But really, anyone can win! 297 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,639 - everybody having fun? 298 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,639 - no. 299 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,174 All: no! 300 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:51,111 - I'm actually having 301 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:51,111 An okay time. 302 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,646 - emily, I'm sorry we're late, 303 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,646 But we got on a hot streak. 304 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,548 I promise 305 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,548 I'll be on time tomorrow. 306 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,283 - oh, I am not watching 307 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,283 Your kids again. 308 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,518 - what? 309 00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,652 - you told marny 310 00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,652 That you could do it all. 311 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,210 Me watching 312 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,210 Your children 313 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,890 Is not doing it all, 314 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,890 Okay? 315 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,391 You're just gonna have 316 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,391 To hire somebody. 317 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,159 - look, I refuse 318 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,159 To get help. 319 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,280 - then what am I? 320 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:11,310 - a friend 321 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:11,310 That I'm taking advantage of. 322 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,133 All right, all right. 323 00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,133 No problem. 324 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,135 I'll figure it out. 325 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,135 I have to. 326 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,370 I told marny 327 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,370 That I was a rare breed, 328 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,439 Then I gave her this look. 329 00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:22,308 - yippity doo! 330 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,712 - it's coming 331 00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:25,712 From inside the pillow! 332 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,414 - toy! 333 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,648 How many pillows 334 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,648 Have to die 335 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:32,519 Before you show yourself? 336 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:38,580 - so your primary concern 337 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:38,580 Is that he doesn't scribble. 338 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,392 - that's correct. 339 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,427 He is not currently, 340 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,297 Nor has he ever scribbled. 341 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,166 - does his response time 342 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:46,166 Seem slow to you? 343 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,636 Sometimes, I feel like 344 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,636 His response time is slow. 345 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,338 - do you think that too? 346 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,338 - yeah. 347 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,572 - yes, okay. 348 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,572 Over here. 349 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,740 - hey, hey! 350 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,740 - over here, over here. 351 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,408 - hey, buddy. 352 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,408 Hey, buddy. 353 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,770 - over here, over here, 354 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,770 Over here, over here. 355 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,478 - okay, okay. 356 00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,478 Thank you! 357 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:01,214 Thank you. 358 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,490 There's nothing wrong 359 00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,490 With his response time, 360 00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:06,119 And his small motor skills 361 00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:06,119 Are on par for a child his age. 362 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,420 - are you sure? 363 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:08,788 Because nick's kid 364 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:08,788 Is scribbling, 365 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,623 And he's an idiot. 366 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,426 Nick, not the kid. 367 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,426 Maybe the kid. 368 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,495 - the best thing 369 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,495 You can do for ernie 370 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,310 Is to let him develop 371 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,310 At his own pace. 372 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,466 - so what 373 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,466 I'm hearing you say 374 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,401 Is that we should 375 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,401 Just let him fall behind. 376 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,470 - that is 377 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,470 Your expert advice. 378 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,172 - listen, I'm sensing 379 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,172 That you're the type of parents 380 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,174 Who fault on the side 381 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,174 Of overreacting. 382 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:31,378 - oh, come-- 383 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:31,378 - [scoffs] 384 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,216 - but what you really 385 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,216 Need to do here, 386 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,484 For everybody's benefit, 387 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,818 Is to relax 388 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,818 And give ernie some space. 389 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,654 - well, what do you know? 390 00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,290 You don't know anything. 391 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,658 - well, I know 392 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,658 That I have a phd 393 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,360 In child psychology 394 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,360 From duke, 395 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:51,531 And I know that 396 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:51,531 I don't take your insurance. 397 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,767 - all right, come on, boys. 398 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:53,767 Hurry up! 399 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,735 It's after 6:00, 400 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,735 All right? 401 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,871 We have a lot to do 402 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,871 Before your mom gets home. 403 00:08:57,904 --> 00:08:59,639 Go, go, go, go! 404 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,750 - got your text. 405 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:02,750 Let's do this. 406 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,210 - all right, good, man. 407 00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,210 Help me bathe the twins. 408 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:08,114 I already stripped 'em down 409 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:08,114 In the elevator. 410 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,749 Got it? 411 00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,749 You got that one? Go. 412 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,251 Hold him up, hold him up, 413 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:11,251 Hold him up. 414 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,485 All right! 415 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,320 Gotta get him, 416 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,320 Gotta get him, get it. 417 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,322 All right. 418 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,858 Yeah, there we go. 419 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,858 Put him in there. 420 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,393 Okay, get this one. 421 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,395 Get that one. 422 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,395 Hurry up, yeah. 423 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,230 Yeah, he's a tough one, man. 424 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,230 Yeah. 425 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,433 Crack open his fat roll for me. 426 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,433 - all right. 427 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,568 - 'cause marny--she's gonna 428 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,568 Check when she comes home. 429 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,770 All right, gotta get it. 430 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,770 I gotta get it. 431 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,906 [phone chimes] 432 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,906 Uh-oh, uh-oh. 433 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,809 Somebody's calling. 434 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:35,809 Oh. 435 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,477 All right, this is a text 436 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:37,477 From the doorman. 437 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,812 He says marny's on her way up. 438 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:38,812 Okay, look. 439 00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,547 Hey, boys. 440 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,549 Mom doesn't have to know 441 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,549 Anything about this, all right? 442 00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:45,285 - or doesshe? 443 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,520 - oh. 444 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:47,520 He's shaking you down. 445 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,556 I love this kid. 446 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,690 - all right, here. 447 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,493 Take this. 448 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,493 And you, you take this. 449 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,395 And there's 450 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,395 An extra five in it 451 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,299 If you can find a way to tell 452 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,299 Your mom that I'm a rare breed. 453 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,300 There she is, 454 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:00,300 Put it away. 455 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,835 Put it away. 456 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,835 - hey, everyone. 457 00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:02,836 - hey, baby. 458 00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:04,604 - hey, gary. 459 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:07,540 How did it go today? 460 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,609 Did you do it all? 461 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,611 - I did. 462 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,247 Made some sales, 463 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,247 Took care of my boys. 464 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,583 Isn't that right, boys? 465 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,718 - oh, yeah. 466 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,718 Dad's the best! 467 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:22,389 - he really is a rare-- 468 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:22,389 - rare breed. 469 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,765 - four days in a row, 470 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:31,765 Dad. 471 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,833 You've been late 472 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,833 For four days in a row. 473 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,770 - I know, but your mother still 474 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,770 Doesn't need to know about this. 475 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,340 - it's getting harder and harder 476 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,340 For me to keep my mouth shut. 477 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:44,310 - cut me some slack, man. 478 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:44,310 Have I missed a payment? 479 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,747 Come on, let's go! 480 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,747 Let's go! 481 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:49,516 Where are the twins? 482 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,519 Gj, hit that button, man! 483 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:52,519 Hit that button! 484 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:56,489 Ahh! Ahh! 485 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:56,489 Okay. 486 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,891 All right, look. 487 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,891 I gotta run downstairs. 488 00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,793 You guys stay here. 489 00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,793 Here's my wallet. 490 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,929 Take as much as you need 491 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,929 To keep quiet about this! 492 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,798 [panting] 493 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,801 Oh! Gj, robbie. 494 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,670 Ahhh! 495 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:11,771 - looking for something? 496 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,908 - ahhh! 497 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:16,409 Oh, god, this is worse! 498 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,945 This is worse 499 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,945 Than losing them! 500 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,919 - so let me 501 00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:25,919 Get this straight. 502 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,487 You were lying to me, 503 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,491 And you were paying my children 504 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,491 To lie to me. 505 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,427 Gary, look, if you refuse 506 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,427 To get help with the kids, 507 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,996 You're just gonna have 508 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,996 To give up the wrapkin. 509 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:40,367 - I know, baby, you're right. 510 00:11:37,970 --> 00:11:40,367 Too bad though. 511 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,936 You know, the wrapkin really 512 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,936 Started to make some money. 513 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,938 You know, I was thinking, 514 00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,938 If all went well, 515 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,873 I can rent that house 516 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:46,873 On nantucket for the summer 517 00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:51,111 Like you always wanted. 518 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,113 - you mean the house 519 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,113 With the dock? 520 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,415 Where you can dangle your feet 521 00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:55,415 In the water 522 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,917 And drink the wine 523 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,917 While the sun goes down? 524 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,190 - yeah. 525 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,520 - let me reflect 526 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,857 On this new information 527 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,857 For a moment. 528 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,360 The wrapkin stays. 529 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,462 And you are getting help 530 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,462 With the kids. 531 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:10,497 - all right, baby. 532 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,965 But I don't wanna miss out 533 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:13,133 On all the big moments 534 00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:13,133 With the twins 535 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,934 Like I did 536 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,934 With clark and yoda. 537 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,469 - oh, sweetheart, 538 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,469 I'm just talking 539 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:19,572 About an extra set of hands 540 00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:19,572 In the afternoon. 541 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,142 You're not gonna miss 542 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,142 Anything. 543 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,443 - I don't know. 544 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,412 You know, 545 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,412 Maybe I can still find a way 546 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:26,713 To do it all myself. 547 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,314 - oh, really? 548 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,314 - mm-hmm. 549 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,840 - describe for me 550 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,840 The last meal that you prepared 551 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,454 For your beloved children. 552 00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:37,891 - cheese. 553 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,194 - and where 554 00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,194 Did you serve it? 555 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:44,230 - bathtub. 556 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,965 - I can't take it. 557 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,434 I don't know 558 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,434 What's worse, 559 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,300 Hearing the toy 560 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,300 Or waiting to hear the toy. 561 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,872 - shh, shh, shh, 562 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,872 Shh, shh, shh! 563 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:57,444 I think 564 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:57,444 It's listening to us. 565 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,446 - hey. 566 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,446 Hey, where's freddie? 567 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,547 Freddie! 568 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,547 - hey! 569 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,248 Shh! 570 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,248 We just put him to bed. 571 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,416 - well, wake him up, okay? 572 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,251 I need him to show ernie 573 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,251 How to scribble. 574 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,920 I've scribbled for him, 575 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,920 Sheila's scribbled for him. 576 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,188 We think he just needs 577 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,188 To see it from a peer, okay? 578 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,189 Freddie! 579 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,590 - hey! 580 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,590 - hey, hey! 581 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,192 If you want freddie 582 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,192 To tutor you on scribbling, 583 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,259 You're gonna have 584 00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:13,259 To make an appointment 585 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,894 Like everybody else. 586 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,163 - what did 587 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,163 The specialist say? 588 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,932 - the specialist 589 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,932 Said he's perfect, 590 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,670 But if he was perfect, 591 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,670 He'd be scribbling. 592 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,469 - okay, you know what, 593 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:22,469 Give me the kid. 594 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,170 Give me the kid. 595 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,170 You're gonna ruin this child. 596 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,338 - what are you 597 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,338 Talking about? 598 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:26,906 - you took him 599 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:26,906 To a specialist, 600 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,375 And he said 601 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,375 He was perfect, 602 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,310 And you and sheila still 603 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,310 Won't leave him alone? 604 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,344 You're gonna 605 00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,344 Make this kid crazy. 606 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,645 He's only 15 months old. 607 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,614 - we are just trying 608 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,614 To be good parents. 609 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,216 - well, with all of 610 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,216 Your attention focused on him, 611 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,840 Ernie doesn't stand a chance, 612 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,840 Right? 613 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,860 Oh, my god, look! 614 00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,322 Baby gray hair. 615 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,157 - oh, my god. 616 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,592 Is that-- 617 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,592 Is that what I'm doing? 618 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,427 Am I becoming my parents? 619 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,427 Come here. 620 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,363 - no. 621 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:50,363 No, I'm not saying that. 622 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:55,235 You're a hundred times worse 623 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:55,235 Than your parents. 624 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:57,637 - I'm home! 625 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,240 Oh, hi, christine. 626 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,574 All right! 627 00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,610 This is good. 628 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,212 You boys are doing 629 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,212 Your homework. 630 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:09,149 The twins aren't greeting people 631 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:09,149 In the lobby. 632 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,118 This is all working out 633 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,254 Just like I told daddy 634 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,254 It would. 635 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,570 - oh, my god! 636 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,570 Look! 637 00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:18,258 - [gasps] 638 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,260 Robbie! 639 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,262 You're taking 640 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,262 Your first steps! 641 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:23,530 [laughing] 642 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,498 Oh, my god. 643 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,167 You're taking 644 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,167 Your first steps, 645 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,335 And your daddy 646 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,335 Is missing it. 647 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,703 No, no, no, no, no, 648 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,703 Sit down! 649 00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:32,720 No, no, no, no. 650 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,107 Knock that off, 651 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,107 Knock that off. 652 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,442 You'll have plenty of time 653 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,442 To walk 654 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,445 On the beach 655 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,445 In nantucket. 656 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,614 Look, your father doesn't need 657 00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:41,614 To know about any of this. 658 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:45,151 - or doeshe? 659 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,120 - fine! 660 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:51,491 What's the going rate 661 00:14:47,153 --> 00:14:51,491 For a cover-up around here? 662 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,660 - there you go. 663 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,660 - hey. 664 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,528 - hi. 665 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,528 What are you doing here? 666 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,230 - uh, I need to talk to you 667 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,230 About something. 668 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,232 What's...This? 669 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,232 - oh, we're hammering. 670 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:03,269 Puzzle time 671 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:03,269 Was not a success. 672 00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:05,305 Now, we're hammering. 673 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,140 There you go. 674 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,140 - okay, uh, sheila, 675 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,442 I've been thinking a lot 676 00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:09,442 About what's best for ernie. 677 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,277 - mm. 678 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,277 - the thing is, 679 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,912 You know how my parents are 680 00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,912 Constantly driving me crazy... 681 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,314 - yes. 682 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,314 - and all I ever wanna be able 683 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,116 To do is call up 684 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,116 My brother or my sister 685 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,517 And say, "Hey, it's your turn 686 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,517 To deal with them," 687 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,319 But I can't 688 00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,319 Because I'm an only child? 689 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,687 - yeah, well, there's nothing 690 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,687 You can do about that. 691 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,323 - true, 692 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,323 But I can help ernie. 693 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,920 When we're both old 694 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,920 And driving him crazy, 695 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,161 Wouldn't it be great 696 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,161 If he had a sibling 697 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,697 To help share 698 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,697 The burden of us? 699 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,298 - what are you saying? 700 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,800 - I'm saying 701 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,800 I think you and I 702 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:38,271 Should have 703 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:38,271 Another child together. 704 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,807 I assume your silence 705 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,807 Is you trying to figure out 706 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,143 Where you are 707 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,143 In your cycle. 708 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,852 - you and I are just gonna 709 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,852 Drive him more and more crazy, 710 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:55,588 And he needs a sibling 711 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:55,588 He can turn to. 712 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,757 - we're preparing him 713 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,757 For the future. 714 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,126 We're not driving him crazy. 715 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,861 - oh, really? 716 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,861 - yeah. 717 00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,630 - if this is how we react 718 00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,630 When he can't scribble, 719 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,232 What happens when he doesn't win 720 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,232 Student body president? 721 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,868 - oh, he'll win. 722 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,868 I've already written his speech. 723 00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:11,638 It's fantastic. 724 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,808 - okay, sheila, we wouldn't be 725 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,808 Doing this for us. 726 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,242 We'd be doing it 727 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,242 For ernie. 728 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,440 I know 729 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:18,440 That it's unexpected. 730 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,879 - oh, yeah, unexpected 731 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:23,717 Is when I find myself loving 732 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:23,717 Steve harvey's new talk show. 733 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,952 This is ridiculous. 734 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:27,620 - just... 735 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,956 Think about it, okay? 736 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,258 - [sighs] 737 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:33,927 Okay, ernie. 738 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:39,532 Let's just shake off 739 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:39,532 That cuckoo conversation. 740 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,301 And let's get back to it. 741 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,570 Now, here we go. 742 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,570 Hammer the nail. 743 00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,205 Remember the rhyme. 744 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,273 Hammer the nail, 745 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,273 Get into yale! 746 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,760 Hammer the nail, get into yale! 747 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,112 Hammer-- 748 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,112 Ow! Ernie! 749 00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,882 Oh, god. 750 00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,251 Am I driving you crazy? 751 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,200 Am I? 752 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,388 Oh. 753 00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,189 Oh, honey, oh. 754 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,858 I am so sorry. 755 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,858 I am so sorry. 756 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,827 Come here, come here. 757 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,897 Oh, I will never 758 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:11,897 Make you crazy again, okay? 759 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:15,702 Ooh, I can't promise that. 760 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:18,338 - I'm home! 761 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,400 What's going on, everybody? 762 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,742 - nothing. 763 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,278 And if you think 764 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,278 Something's going on... 765 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:28,848 [scoffs] Then you're reading 766 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:28,848 This situation wrong. 767 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,784 - great. 768 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,784 [laughing] 769 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,356 [robbie babbles] 770 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,356 - [gasps] 771 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,958 - [gasps] 772 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,958 Oh, my god! 773 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,795 Robbie's walking! 774 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,640 Robbie's walking! 775 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,640 Oh, my god, I didn't miss it. 776 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,199 I did it! 777 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,199 I did it all! 778 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,934 - yes! 779 00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:49,269 - awesome! 780 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,404 He's never taken 781 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,404 Any first steps before. 782 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:56,760 - yeah! These are totally 783 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:56,760 His first steps. 784 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,130 - huh. 785 00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:01,681 [laughs nervously] 786 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:05,819 So these aren't 787 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:05,819 His first steps. 788 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,654 - what are you talking about? 789 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,550 - I know these boys. 790 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:14,270 Before they lied for you, 791 00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:14,270 They lied for me. 792 00:18:14,270 --> 00:18:16,229 I can't believe 793 00:18:14,270 --> 00:18:16,229 I missed robbie's first steps. 794 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,798 See, this is the thing 795 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,798 That I was worried about. 796 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,670 - look, gary, 797 00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:21,670 Don't be upset. 798 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:24,337 Y-you can still see gary jr. 799 00:18:21,101 --> 00:18:24,337 Take his first steps. 800 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,272 We'll keep him strapped 801 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,272 In a stroller 802 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,308 Until we're in nantucket. 803 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,343 - you know, baby, 804 00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,343 No matter how much money 805 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,846 We could possibly make 806 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:32,846 With the wrapkin, 807 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,215 It's not worth it. 808 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,850 This is why 809 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,850 I'm a stay-at-home dad, 810 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,351 So I won't miss moments 811 00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,351 Like this. 812 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,860 - well, hey, 813 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,756 Instead of hiring somebody 814 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,756 To help you with the kids, 815 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,859 Why don't you hire someone 816 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:45,859 To help you with the wrapkin? 817 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,427 [robbie babbles] 818 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,427 - yeah. 819 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,729 I think I-- 820 00:18:49,763 --> 00:18:51,970 Yeah! 821 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:54,267 Yeah, I like that. 822 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,437 Yeah, I can have an employee. 823 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,437 [chuckles] 824 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,473 "Where's my raise?" 825 00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,473 "I'm sick today." 826 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,375 "I need natural light." 827 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,375 Shut up! 828 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,377 You're fired! 829 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,377 Whoo! 830 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:08,214 I like that. 831 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:08,214 [laughing] 832 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,170 - hey. 833 00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:12,719 - so let's say ernie 834 00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:12,719 Does need a sibling. 835 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,870 Why couldn't one of us 836 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,870 Get remarried 837 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,488 And have a baby 838 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,488 With them? 839 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,123 - I don't know 840 00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,123 If I wanna get remarried. 841 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,460 The last woman I had a baby with 842 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:20,460 Took all my money. 843 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,464 - well, what about me? 844 00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:24,464 I could get remarried. 845 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,932 - [scoffs] By the time 846 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,932 A guy makes it 847 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:27,367 Through your vetting process, 848 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,469 Ernie will be so old, 849 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,469 He'll be asking me 850 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:33,340 Why weird hairs 851 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:33,340 Are growing out of his neck. 852 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,443 And I'll say, "That's just 853 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,443 How the men in our family roll." 854 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,179 - fine. 855 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:42,115 But if we do this, 856 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:42,115 We're going to a lab. 857 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,117 Our bodies 858 00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,117 Are not touching. 859 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,552 - no! 860 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,287 No, no, no. 861 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:47,287 Of course not. 862 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,956 I served my time 863 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,956 In there. 864 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:56,763 So are we-- 865 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:56,763 Are we really gonna do this? 866 00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:00,500 - for ernie. 867 00:19:56,796 --> 00:20:00,500 - for ernie. 868 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:16,483 Apartment, 869 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:16,483 We're having another baby! 870 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,419 - these are all your toys. 871 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,419 - yes. 872 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,121 - which one of them 873 00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,121 Makes that noise? 874 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,822 - I told you, 875 00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,822 I don't know. 876 00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:25,191 - you have to know! 877 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,860 - well, you see, 878 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,860 The problem here 879 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,528 Is that you have 880 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,528 Too many toys. 881 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,196 See, when I was your age, 882 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,196 I had one nintendo, 883 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,431 And I had, 884 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,431 Like, ten games. 885 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,199 And I cherished them all... 886 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,100 Until I got 887 00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,100 A sega genesis. 888 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:36,369 And then I had, like, 889 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:36,369 All the games for that, 890 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,710 Which was, 891 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,710 Like, 12 games. 892 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,506 Oh, my god, 893 00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,506 how good was altered beast? 894 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,474 Oh, my god. 895 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,474 - nick. 896 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,476 - what? 897 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,476 What point am I making? 898 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:47,213 - she has too many toys. 899 00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:47,213 - stop having so many toys! 900 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:51,818 Go to your room and think 901 00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:51,818 About all the toys you've got! 902 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,486 Seriously, 903 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,486 how good was altered beast? 904 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,989 That game was amazing. 905 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,989 Sometimes you were, like, a man. 906 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,223 Sometimes 907 00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:57,223 You're a super wolf. 908 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:00,860 - yippity doo! 909 00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:02,829 - oh, crap! 910 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,864 It's the talking bottle opener 911 00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,864 Your mother gave us 912 00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:07,600 When she was following 913 00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:07,600 The rodeo! 914 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,536 - the bottle opener! 915 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,536 Oh! 916 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:11,905 And we blamed violet. 917 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,840 Now we have to apologize 918 00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:13,840 To her. 919 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,876 - we can't do that. 920 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,876 We'll lose all authority. 921 00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:19,212 How about this? 922 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,547 First time we catch her 923 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,547 Drinking with her friends, 924 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,249 We'll be super cool 925 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,249 About it. 926 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,251 - yeah, but what if she 927 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,251 And her friends don't drink? 928 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,887 - then we raised a nerd. 929 00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:31,291 - you are 930 00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:31,291 Some kind of mother. 53927

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