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- guys with kidsis taped in
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Front of a live studio audience.
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- babies coming through!
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- oh...
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- mm!
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They were here first.
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- you know, there's
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A chucky cheese in brooklyn.
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- doesn't have a full bar.
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- yeah, who wants to hang out
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With all those kids?
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- hey, guys, so check this out.
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Last night I asked yoda
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To put his shoes away.
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He told me, "You have arms,
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Do it yourself."
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So I sent him to his room.
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He doesn't care.
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He likes his room.
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Nothing I do works anymore.
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What's the cutoff age
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For leaving your kid
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On the firehouse doorstep
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No questions asked?
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- gary, he's got your number.
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Yoda knows you're a pushover.
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- I think you should just have
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Marny deal with him
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'cause she is scary.
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Yeah, she's the only person
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I write thank you notes to
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Because she will say something.
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- I am not gonna have my wife
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Fight my battles for me.
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I know what I need to do.
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I need to break yoda,
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Just like my father broke me.
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Oh, that man was intimidating.
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He was so intimidating...
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You know what, I'm--I'm not
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Gonna say anything
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Because I don't want it
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To get back to him.
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- yeah, I hear ya.
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My dad broke me too.
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Broke me of some pretty bad
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Study habits.
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- I forgot to tell you
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That chris here grew up
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in pleasantville.
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As you can imagine,
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It was quite pleasant.
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- well, I didn't.
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All right,
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No more mr. Nice guy.
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I can be tough.
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Like, smoke him out.
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Crush the rebellion!
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No child left behind.
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- now you're just throwing out
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Random phrases.
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- each one teach one!
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Down with dope, up with hope!
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Give a hoot, don't pollute!
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Stop, drop, and roll!
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Ooh, all right.
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Nice things.
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- * life is how you live it *
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* where you go
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And where you wanna be *
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* you and me *
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* we're happy *
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* we need our friends
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Like the sun *
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* why would you walk
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When you can run *
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* everybody sing along *
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* why would you walk
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When you can run *
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- you know, these sunday night
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Dinners are great.
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Dinnertime has been
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Kind of lonely since the divorce
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And I feel--ow!
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- you told me to punch you every
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Time you bum people out
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With your stupid divorce.
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- yeah.
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- oh, did I hurt your neck,
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You little baby?
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- no.
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My neck hurts because ernie
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Won't fall asleep
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Unless I sleep
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In a chair next to him.
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- wait, you're sleeping
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In a chair next to ernie?
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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You can't do that.
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You have to sleep train him.
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You know, we got this book.
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[snaps fingers]
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It saved our lives.
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- uh, whogot that book?
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uh, garygot that book, okay?
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Better parent.
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- [laughs]
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Uh, thank you, marny,
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But you can keep your book.
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I've tried everything.
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This kid just cannot
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Be sleep trained.
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- okay.
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That's crap.
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Any baby can be sleep trained.
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- gary, this bridge
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Is incredible.
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Who made this?
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- oh, school project.
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Clark and I did it.
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All me.
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Here you go, baby.
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- thanks.
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- so, how did your bridge
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Turn out?
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- what are you talking about?
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The assignment was just to
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Answer four questions
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About the brooklyn bridge.
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- oh, looks like someone
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Forgot to read
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The back
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Of the assignment sheet.
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- oh, they printed
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On both sides?
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I'm so sick
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Of these dumb teachers
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Who are fresh out of college
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Trying to save the environment.
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- your bridge is going down.
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- you don't have
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The time or the stuff.
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- yeah, I do.
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- no, you don't.
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[belly laughs]
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- [burps]
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[all laugh]
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- yoda.
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- what?
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You do it all the time.
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- hey, not when other people
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Are around.
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- whatever.
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- excuse me?
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- just relax, gary.
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- hold on there, daddy.
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Hoo, let's not make a big deal
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Out of this.
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- I...
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Marny, I'm sorry.
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Might I have a word with you in
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The library, please?
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- library?
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You mean the bookcase?
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- yes.
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- marny, you can't undermine me
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Like this, all right?
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This kid
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Is getting out of control.
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- okay, calm down.
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I'll handle it.
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- no. I'm the one who stays
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At home with the kids all day.
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He needs to listen to me.
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Look, I know you think
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You're helping,
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But the only way that you can
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Really help right now
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Is to butt out.
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- oh, I see.
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Okay.
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You obviously don't need me
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So--no, no, I will indeed
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Butt out.
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You come with me, little ernie.
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Ooh.
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- where you going?
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- to sleep train this thing.
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- okay, well, uh,
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When the host steals your baby
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I guess it's time to go.
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- I think, uh, we're gonna be
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Heading out too.
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We have some work to do.
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And, uh, once you get
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A look at my bridge
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You're gonna wanna throw
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Yourself off of your bridge.
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- oh, really?
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- really.
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- really?
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- all right.
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We'll be leaving before we start
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The world's first arts
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And crafts rumble.
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- hey, clarky, why don't you
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Go brush your teeth
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And get ready for bed, man?
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Hey, where do you think
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You're going?
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Hmm? You haven't finished
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Your dinner.
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- I'm not eating this.
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- oh, yes, you are.
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And you're not gonna get out
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Of that seat
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Until that plate is clean.
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Oh, so you wanna play
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The waiting game, huh?
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Well, I was built
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To wait things out.
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See that tooth right there?
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Yep, I chipped it
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Four years ago.
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And I'm not getting it fixed.
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Because I'm waiting
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For it to grow back.
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- all right,
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I'm not playing around.
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In this box, I have
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All of your favorite toys.
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And if you don't eat
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Your dinner,
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I'm gonna throw them all away.
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Okay.
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- not mine.
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- hmm?
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- don't like it anymore.
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That's broken.
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That's yours.
241
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- you know what?
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Eat your dinner!
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[baby cries]
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- okay.
245
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Okay, go in now.
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Let him know everything is fine
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But don't pick him up
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Or he'll never go to sleep.
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- okay, I will not pick him up.
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00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,860
Now, I know it looks like
251
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I picked him up,
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00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,895
But he's actually holding me
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Right now, so...
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- chris, you are not
255
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Taking this seriously.
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Here.
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You know,
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Ernie is not the problem.
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You are.
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I think you should leave.
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- but I live here.
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All this stuff is mine.
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That baby is mine.
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- okay, I'm a mother
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Of four, okay?
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You have to listen to me.
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- okay, okay, um,
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I see what's happening here.
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Uh, gary told you
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To butt out down there
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And so now you're butting in
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Up here.
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- [scoffs]
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[laughs]
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Oh, my god, I am so sorry.
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You're right.
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00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,872
- no, no, no, it's okay.
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It's okay.
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I appreciate the effort.
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- I know. No.
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- thank you for stopping by.
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- oh, let me say good night,
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Little ernie--
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[sniffs]
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Do you smell smoke?
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- marny.
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- this baby
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Is getting sleep trained!
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Okay, where's the book?
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Because this kid
291
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:23,570
Is seriously messed up.
292
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,241
Why are you still
293
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,241
At the dinner table?
294
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,510
- I'm teaching him a lesson.
295
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,380
- the boy has school
296
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,380
In the morning.
297
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,716
I tried to tell him.
298
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,818
- can I see you in the foyer?
299
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,688
- you mean the welcome mat?
300
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,528
- look, I've got this
301
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,528
Under control.
302
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,830
If it takes all night,
303
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,830
I'll break him.
304
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,733
- gary, you are not keeping
305
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,733
My kid up all night.
306
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,835
No, no, no. Besides,
307
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,835
You can't even
308
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,737
Physically stay up
309
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,737
Past 11:00.
310
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:01,875
How many times have I found you
311
00:08:57,771 --> 00:09:01,875
Asleep on the toilet
312
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,376
With a mouthful of listerine?
313
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:06,646
- look, I started this,
314
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:06,646
All right?
315
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,140
And I have to see it through
316
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,916
Or I'll lose all authority
317
00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,916
With this kid.
318
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,686
- well, then you've
319
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,686
Really backed yourself
320
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,721
Into a corner, haven't you?
321
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,322
You've got one hour.
322
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:19,559
Then I'm putting him to bed.
323
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:25,310
I'll put this whole building
324
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:25,310
To bed if I have to.
325
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:28,802
- hey, marny, uh,
326
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:28,802
Since you still won't let me
327
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,837
Back into my apartment,
328
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,837
Could you do me a favor
329
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,572
And just unplug my ipod?
330
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,400
I don't like to overcharge it,
331
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,400
You know?
332
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,842
It shortens
333
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,842
The life of the battery.
334
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,812
- dad, mom found
335
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,812
The purple paint.
336
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,780
Let's paint it purple.
337
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,683
- hey, great, yeah.
338
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:44,718
You know what?
339
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,919
Maybe not for this bridge,
340
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,587
But definitely for the next one.
341
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,550
You have such good ideas.
342
00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,792
- it's her bridge.
343
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:53,793
Hey, violet.
344
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:54,894
You know who used to commute
345
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,963
From brooklyn to manhattan?
346
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,963
- who?
347
00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,330
- cinderella.
348
00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,978
All right, honey, come on.
349
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,413
Let's get your pajamas on.
350
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:18,918
- you have no business
351
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:18,918
Being in this world.
352
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,887
- guys, I need your help.
353
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,790
- hey, your wife locked me out
354
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,790
Of my apartment.
355
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,458
- oh, yeah, she's known
356
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,458
To do that.
357
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,327
Clarky, yoda,
358
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,327
Sit down right there.
359
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,363
I need to talk to these guys.
360
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,365
Look here, man.
361
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,334
The kid hasn't budged, right?
362
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,635
And I'm running out of time.
363
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,604
Chris, if you
364
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,604
Were acting like yoda,
365
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,638
What would your father
366
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,638
Have done?
367
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,600
- oh, man.
368
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,741
He would have sent me
369
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,741
To bed 15 minutes early
370
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,377
And only sang me two songs.
371
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,380
- okay...Nick?
372
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,615
- yoda and I go way back.
373
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,500
Maybe I should talk to him.
374
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:51,818
He might be more
375
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:51,818
Receptive to someone
376
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,953
He hasn't seen cry
377
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:53,953
during the movie up.
378
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:59,526
- they couldn't have a baby.
379
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,828
- hey, buddy.
380
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,828
- hey, nick.
381
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,664
- yeah. Butting heads
382
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,664
With your old man?
383
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,833
Yeah.
384
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:11,710
You know, guys like us, yoda,
385
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:11,710
We don't like to conform.
386
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,730
We're rebels.
387
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:15,175
Emily, she tells me
388
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:15,175
Not to bring the quilt in
389
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,110
From the bed to the sofa,
390
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,110
But I do.
391
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,879
I'll snuggle
392
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,879
Right the hell up with it.
393
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:25,685
But, uh, you gotta ask yourself,
394
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:25,685
Is it worth it?
395
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,880
Now, I just wanna
396
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,880
Throw out there,
397
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,123
What would happen if you ate up
398
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,123
All the food on your plate
399
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,692
And then we all just moved on
400
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:32,692
With our lives?
401
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,495
- why don't you tell that
402
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,495
To someone who cares?
403
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,898
- excuse me?
404
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:44,104
- mind your own business, nick.
405
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:47,107
- okay.
406
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,948
We, uh, we are not as close
407
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,948
As I had assumed.
408
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,516
- you wanna help me break him?
409
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,485
- more than anything.
410
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,226
- all right, yoda.
411
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,610
You've had your chance.
412
00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:09,529
I'm done being nice.
413
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:14,234
We went out and got
414
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:14,234
All of your favorite things.
415
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,469
Now, if you wanna join in
416
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,469
On the fun,
417
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:21,508
All you have to do
418
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:21,508
Is finish what's on your plate.
419
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,409
- I got peeps, yoda.
420
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,643
I'm mushing 'em together
421
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:25,512
To make one
422
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:25,512
Super-mega-awesome peep
423
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,582
And I'm putting it
424
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:29,582
In my mouth, yoda.
425
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,910
- fine.
426
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:40,527
Have it your way, yoda.
427
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,729
Chris? Music.
428
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,498
[cat daddy
429
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,498
By the rej3ctz plays]
430
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:51,504
* *
431
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:54,441
- that's right, yoda.
432
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,109
We're gonna eat
433
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,109
Your favorite snacks
434
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,445
And do you favorite dance.
435
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,613
The cat daddy.
436
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,553
- I did not
437
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:06,553
Just learn this today.
438
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,154
- come on.
439
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,123
Left turn, right turn,
440
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,123
Wheelchair, wheelchair.
441
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,392
Left turn, right turn,
442
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,392
Wheelchair, wheelchair.
443
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,561
- you're doing it all wrong!
444
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,729
- well, then,
445
00:13:14,594 --> 00:13:15,729
Finish your dinner
446
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,597
And come show us
447
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,597
How to do it right.
448
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,199
Are we gonna do
449
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,199
The whole song or...
450
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:20,500
- we learned the whole song.
451
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,202
We're gonna do the whole song.
452
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,304
- chris is having no luck
453
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,304
Getting past gary!
454
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,339
He turns to pass to yoda,
455
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,339
But he doesn't
456
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,142
'cause he can't, 'cause he won't
457
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,142
Finish his dinner! Oh!
458
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,543
He feints around the couch.
459
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,545
He moves for the dunk.
460
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,545
He dunks it!
461
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,582
- [inhales]
462
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,251
[high-pitched]
463
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,251
The first rule of fight club:
464
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,819
You don't talk
465
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,819
About fight club.
466
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,355
- [laughs]
467
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:46,459
- ready?
468
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:46,459
- ready.
469
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,362
- [laughs]
470
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,231
Indoor slip 'n slide.
471
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,632
In your face!
472
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,434
Oww!
473
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:57,303
- [shouting]
474
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,338
- uhh!
475
00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,439
- he's sliding home!
476
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,775
- and he's out! He's out!
477
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:04,110
- [trumpets]
478
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,612
- oh!
479
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,680
[all cheer]
480
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,785
- [inhales]
481
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,287
[high-pitched]
482
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,287
Look at him.
483
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,555
He's about to break.
484
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:19,459
- why you keep waking me up?
485
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,327
- hey, son,
486
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,327
'cause you're my ringer.
487
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,163
All right?
488
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,163
There's nothing worse
489
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,597
Than when your brother's
490
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,597
Having fun and you're not.
491
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:25,598
Look at this.
492
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:28,601
- awesome!
493
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,437
- get ready to start.
494
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,606
I got you, let's go,
495
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,606
Clarky, let's go!
496
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,608
[cheers and applause]
497
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:36,876
- well done.
498
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,311
- go long, chris, go long!
499
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:39,379
[wood splinters]
500
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,381
[all groan]
501
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,387
- dad, you ruined it!
502
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,324
- [mocking]
503
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,324
And it's due tomorrow!
504
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,326
- hey, clarky, I'm sorry.
505
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,427
It was an accident.
506
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,529
- you're such a butthole, dad.
507
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,765
- hey, you don't ever
508
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,765
Speak to me like that.
509
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,835
Get over here.
510
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,510
- [high pitched]
511
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:10,510
Dude...
512
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,911
This hasn't worn off yet.
513
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,513
I think I took too much.
514
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,349
I think
515
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:16,349
I took too much!
516
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,621
- now I've lost control
517
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,621
Of both of them.
518
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:23,223
- maybe this'll help.
519
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,891
Um, one time my dad
520
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,891
Did get really mad at me.
521
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,693
It was during high school.
522
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,560
I was drinking a soda
523
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,429
In the backseat
524
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,429
Of his brand-new car.
525
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:30,397
I wasn't supposed to,
526
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,233
But I had
527
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,233
just stared in pippin
528
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:38,672
And it had gone to my head.
529
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,840
Anyhow, I spilled it,
530
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,840
And he didn't say anything.
531
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:44,310
He just looked at me,
532
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:44,310
And he handed me the keys
533
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,546
And he said
534
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,546
"I bought this car for you,
535
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,715
And it's your stain now."
536
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:53,353
That always stayed with me.
537
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:57,657
- tell it again, chris.
538
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:01,394
- when did smacking your child
539
00:15:57,691 --> 00:16:01,394
Fall out of fashion?
540
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,363
- hey, come on, gary.
541
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,310
Even back then,
542
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,310
You wouldn't have done that.
543
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:06,499
You're not that kind of dad.
544
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,767
- gary, you're the kind of dad
545
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,336
That you give
546
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,336
Piggyback rides,
547
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,706
And you make
548
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,706
Mediocre school projects.
549
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,708
You are not intimidating,
550
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,708
But that's okay
551
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,644
Because you have
552
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,644
Someone in your life who is,
553
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,714
And she is right upstairs.
554
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,916
- you're right.
555
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:25,652
I don't have to be my father.
556
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,540
I married my father!
557
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,827
[knock on door]
558
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,628
- [whispers]
559
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,628
What?
560
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,629
- is he asleep?
561
00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,698
- nope!
562
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:41,735
You've ruined your baby.
563
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,471
- hi, buddy.
564
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,471
Ohh.
565
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,773
- what is wrong with you?
566
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,775
Don't you want him to sleep?
567
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,243
Don't you wanna sleep?
568
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,912
- you know, the truth is,
569
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,912
I don't mind
570
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,781
Sleeping in
571
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,781
The chair next to him.
572
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,683
I don't get to see him
573
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,683
As much as I'd like to
574
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,418
And it gives us a little extra
575
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,418
Time together.
576
00:16:58,451 --> 00:16:59,619
You know?
577
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,787
- yeah.
578
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,787
- yeah.
579
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,790
- well, I guess
580
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,790
I could see that.
581
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,724
You know, sometimes
582
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,724
If I'm working late,
583
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:08,795
When I come home I climb right
584
00:17:05,759 --> 00:17:08,795
Into bed with one of the boys.
585
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,396
- exactly, exactly.
586
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,833
You know, I mean,
587
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:13,833
Ever since the divorce, I--
588
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,669
- why are you here?
589
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,738
- ooh.
590
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,377
- do you recall
591
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,377
How I told you to butt out?
592
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,813
I need you to butt back in.
593
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,500
- happy to, sweetheart.
594
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,819
- that's it?
595
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,487
- oh, no.
596
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,689
That's not it.
597
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,424
- ah.
598
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,424
- mm.
599
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:41,494
You're gonna be hearing about
600
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:41,494
This for a long time.
601
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:45,565
Ooh, scares me
602
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:45,565
To think about it.
603
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,640
What the hell
604
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,640
Happened in here?
605
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,808
- yeah. Okay.
606
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:55,508
And on that note,
607
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,477
I'm gonna hand this off to gary.
608
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,479
Marny, thank you
609
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,479
So much for dinner.
610
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:03,483
Mwah. Here's a note
611
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:03,483
To convey my appreciation.
612
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,855
- you two.
613
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,459
Why are you giving your dad
614
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,459
So much trouble?
615
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,762
You have no idea
616
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,762
How good you have it.
617
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,797
Your dad goes to all your
618
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,797
Baseball games.
619
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,499
He gives you ice cream
620
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,499
For dinner.
621
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,669
Your father stays home
622
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,669
With you by choice.
623
00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:26,390
Even I won't do that.
624
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,875
You two have the greatest dad
625
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,875
In the world
626
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:33,460
And you will
627
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:33,460
Show him some respect.
628
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,788
- sorry, dad.
629
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,123
- it's all right, son.
630
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,824
Go to bed.
631
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:48,928
- I've been trying to!
632
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:55,935
- and you, I want you to help
633
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:55,935
Your father clean up this mess.
634
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:58,710
Now.
635
00:19:02,609 --> 00:19:05,879
- baby.
636
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:09,916
Thanks for butting back in.
637
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,654
- is this a slip 'n slide?
638
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:18,825
- oh, yeah.
639
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,270
- ugh.
640
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:27,500
- yoda.
641
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:29,502
Come here, son.
642
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,572
What's been going on with you
643
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:32,572
Lately, man?
644
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,750
Because this isn't
645
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,750
The yoda that I know.
646
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,744
- you're always telling me
647
00:19:35,108 --> 00:19:37,744
To do stuff.
648
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,113
- you're the oldest.
649
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,815
I was the oldest.
650
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,917
It sucks.
651
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,860
All right?
652
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,860
But it's not gonna change.
653
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:50,560
We need to work together
654
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:50,560
On this, all right?
655
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,891
Because when you're grown up,
656
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:55,610
I want us to be like chris
657
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:55,610
And his father.
658
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,696
I want us to be friends,
659
00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:56,696
You know?
660
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,932
- okay, gary.
661
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,868
- don't you do that.
662
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,690
- I'm sorry, dad.
663
00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:04,537
I'm going to bed.
664
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,774
- no. Absolutely not.
665
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,750
All right.
666
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:11,945
You still have
667
00:20:09,109 --> 00:20:11,945
Some explaining to do.
668
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,647
What was wrong
669
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,647
With my cat daddy?
670
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:18,718
- everything. You looked
671
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:18,718
Like a sick horse.
672
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:20,987
- sick horse, huh?
673
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:22,856
Look at this.
674
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,859
This is a super-duper-mega peeps
675
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,859
Going in your mouth.
676
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,560
Open up.
677
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,560
Open up!
678
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,696
Uh-huh!
679
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,696
- [giggling]
680
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,731
- now go and get cleaned up.
681
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,739
- [humming triumphant tune]
682
00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:41,241
Huh?
683
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,900
What do you think?
684
00:20:43,430 --> 00:20:46,112
- it's nice, daddy.
685
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:51,251
- I don't think
686
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:51,251
She really meant that.
687
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,153
- no.
688
00:20:53,186 --> 00:20:54,154
- well...
689
00:20:54,187 --> 00:20:57,190
- but the important thing is...
690
00:20:57,223 --> 00:21:00,293
You beat your adult friend
691
00:20:57,223 --> 00:21:00,293
At a first grade project.
692
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,264
- okay.
693
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,266
You know, hey, violet,
694
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:09,269
This bridge
695
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:09,269
Is not finished yet.
696
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,837
- really?
697
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:10,837
- really.
698
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:14,808
Don't you think that this would
699
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:14,808
Look so much better
700
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:16,109
If it was purple?
701
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,211
- with feathers and glitter?
702
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,379
- yeah!
703
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,748
Just like
704
00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,748
It was originally designed.
705
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:25,118
Oh.
706
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,886
Pretty!
707
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:27,887
- [giggles]
708
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:31,224
- oh, god.
709
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,792
So pretty.
710
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,299
[clucking]
42043
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