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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
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There was a
piece in the paper.
4
00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:44,000
A man lost his job and hid itfrom his wife for six months.
5
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,166
She only found out
when she phoned
6
00:02:49,291 --> 00:02:51,000
the police to
describe the man she'd
7
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:52,958
just seen driving away her car.
8
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,125
Curious post
coital conversation.
9
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:04,208
I was wondering
why we hadn't tried
10
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:09,541
these athletic postures whenwe were both a bit more supple.
11
00:03:13,375 --> 00:03:17,458
And it struck me,
supposedly he's
12
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:21,791
spending the rest of the
afternoon in the library
13
00:03:21,916 --> 00:03:23,000
because he's lost his job.
14
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,041
Is this a ploy to get meback into the office, hm?
15
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,041
Hm.
16
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:37,166
Not if you don't want to go.
17
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,125
I have to.
18
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,833
Of course, partners
don't lose their jobs.
19
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:54,416
Hope.
20
00:03:54,541 --> 00:03:56,416
Energy.
21
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,500
Libido.
22
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:05,583
But on the jobs, they don'tmake an example for me.
23
00:04:05,708 --> 00:04:09,291
I'm going to see
a client in Redby.
24
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,375
Again?
25
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,291
Not again.
26
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:14,958
Different client,
same inconvenience.
27
00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:16,000
Keep me something hot.
28
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,333
I'll have it when I get back.
29
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:21,583
Looks like the buggers have beencheating on their income tax.
30
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:24,958
Think I can magic
them out of it.
31
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:26,666
I can't, of course.
32
00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:29,250
We're sending books to Moscowfor the parents committee.
33
00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:30,458
I wanted you to pick some out.
34
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:33,791
Well, don't
send any of mine.
35
00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,291
When did you last read a book?
36
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:26,666
Come on then.
37
00:05:26,791 --> 00:05:27,666
There.
38
00:05:27,791 --> 00:05:29,166
Good boy.
39
00:05:29,291 --> 00:05:30,166
Off you go.
40
00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:00,125
Careful.
41
00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:05,083
Good boy.
42
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:45,000
Come in.
43
00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:46,500
Right.
44
00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:47,500
Thank you.
45
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:28,958
Peter.
46
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,541
You've caught me.
47
00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:31,875
Not another late night.
48
00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:36,625
Still got soap in your ear.
49
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,708
What?
50
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,583
See you.
51
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:54,291
Hi.
52
00:07:54,416 --> 00:07:55,208
Hello.
53
00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:03,916
Good day?
54
00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:04,833
No.
55
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,833
He asked where you were.
56
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:25,458
He wants to see you.
57
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:29,750
Used to getting what
he wants, is he?
58
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:35,000
His friend said theremight not be another chance.
59
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:35,875
Chance to what?
60
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,083
Brynfield nursery.
61
00:10:13,208 --> 00:10:17,083
This is the Brynfield
Nursery again.
62
00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:19,333
Look, please say something,even if it's only goodbye.
63
00:10:23,541 --> 00:10:25,208
That's the third
time this morning.
64
00:10:58,083 --> 00:10:59,458
Who?
65
00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:04,166
Mrs.-- I'm sorry.
66
00:11:04,291 --> 00:11:06,208
I think you must
have made a mistake.
67
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,666
Well, let's try andcorrect it then, shall we?
68
00:11:09,791 --> 00:11:10,583
I'll book a table.
69
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,333
Mad.
70
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:22,125
As nutty as a fruit cake.
71
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:24,625
A complete stranger
phones all yesterday
72
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,708
and can't bring
herself to speak,
73
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:29,916
then accuses me of havingan affair with her husband.
74
00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:33,666
Says we ought to be civilized,and can we meet for lunch to,
75
00:11:33,791 --> 00:11:35,208
uh, discuss the situation.
76
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:38,958
I'm almost tempted to go.
77
00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:06,208
Excuse me.
78
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:14,041
Are you saving this
seat for someone.
79
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:14,958
Yes.
80
00:12:15,083 --> 00:12:15,875
Sorry.
81
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:16,791
It's mine.
82
00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:17,666
I'm very late.
83
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:21,750
Hello.
84
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,166
I'm Steve.
85
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,750
Do you think I could
have a sip of your wine?
86
00:12:33,875 --> 00:12:34,666
I'm in a bit of a state.
87
00:12:40,416 --> 00:12:43,458
She sent you instead
of coming herself.
88
00:12:43,583 --> 00:12:44,875
What are you, her brother?
89
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,375
Friend?
90
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,916
If it's a joke, it's
not a very good one.
91
00:12:49,041 --> 00:12:50,250
It's not a joke.
92
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,250
I'm the person you
want to talk to.
93
00:12:58,291 --> 00:13:00,666
Would you like tosee the wine list, sir?
94
00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:02,500
A bottle of dry
house white, please.
95
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:03,416
I'll order later.
96
00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:09,000
You had no idea, had you?
97
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:15,958
What I mean about me.
98
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:16,833
I mean, about Keith.
99
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,083
I'd always assumed
wives sensed when
100
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:25,166
their husband were bisexual.
101
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:32,791
We met three months ago.
102
00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:55,750
He was sitting on his ownin a gay pub one lunchtime.
103
00:13:55,875 --> 00:14:00,000
New face, wearing a city suit.
104
00:14:00,125 --> 00:14:00,916
Apparently married.
105
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,166
I knew at once he
needed protecting.
106
00:14:07,291 --> 00:14:10,208
From himself, if nothing else.
107
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:12,916
I recognized the look of someonewho's inches away from being
108
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:13,916
beaten up and robbed.
109
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,875
Actually, I'm glad you found.
110
00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:27,791
Why?
111
00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:30,458
I've insisted we
only do safe sex.
112
00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:33,458
He has to accept that.
113
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:40,916
But not long ago, he and Iwere talking about ourselves.
114
00:14:41,041 --> 00:14:45,125
About the past.
115
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,708
Keith told me about
a promiscuous period
116
00:14:47,833 --> 00:14:51,083
three years ago.
117
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:53,791
He was very down at the time.
118
00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:56,291
He behaved as if the riskof AIDS didn't exist.
119
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:07,958
And anyway, I thought that youand he were sleeping apart.
120
00:15:08,083 --> 00:15:10,916
A convenient conclusion
to jump to, I suppose.
121
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,750
He rang you once from my flat,and from the way he spoke,
122
00:15:18,875 --> 00:15:24,458
I guessed that you mightstill be sleeping together.
123
00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,625
Is that a question?
124
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:30,125
It is important.
125
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,291
More so for you, I think.
126
00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:35,666
We're married.
127
00:15:35,791 --> 00:15:38,375
We do make love.
128
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:39,541
Unprotected?
129
00:15:43,541 --> 00:15:52,083
Two, sometimes three
afternoons a week
130
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:53,291
for the last three months.
131
00:15:57,208 --> 00:16:00,750
Before that, not so often.
132
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:02,083
Nowhere near so often.
133
00:16:05,666 --> 00:16:08,625
Very imaginative sex, too,most unusual for Keith.
134
00:16:11,833 --> 00:16:12,875
You should write a manual.
135
00:16:19,291 --> 00:16:23,125
You're trying to tell
me I might be infected.
136
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,666
Two years ago, I'd
have said, what's
137
00:16:24,791 --> 00:16:27,250
the point of being tested.
138
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:31,875
But now, if you
were HIV positive,
139
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,625
there's a lot more help.
140
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:38,250
Why should you care about me?
141
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:39,500
I'm a carer.
142
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:40,666
It's my nature.
143
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:41,833
Has it really
been three months?
144
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,291
And still?
145
00:16:53,291 --> 00:16:55,458
When I told yourcolleague I was civilized,
146
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:59,000
I didn't mean as
civilized as this.
147
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:01,250
You'll excuse me if I leave now.
148
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:08,750
Look, will you take my number?
149
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:11,208
What for, to compare notes?
150
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:12,666
Only safe sex, you said.
151
00:17:12,791 --> 00:18:15,625
There's no need for guilt.
152
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:16,500
Is he?
153
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:21,333
Not until late.
154
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,791
No.
155
00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:27,000
We won't wait supper.
156
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:30,500
Thank you, Marie.
157
00:20:33,250 --> 00:20:35,125
Mom?
158
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:44,708
Mom?
159
00:20:48,083 --> 00:20:50,416
Mom?
160
00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,375
Mom?
161
00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:00,708
What are you doing?
162
00:21:03,750 --> 00:21:04,958
Just trying to get
things sorted out.
163
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:11,250
I'd offer to help,
but I think our methods
164
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:12,500
would be incompatible.
165
00:21:16,291 --> 00:21:19,500
I just need a moment.
166
00:21:25,125 --> 00:21:26,666
You always look at
me when I come home.
167
00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:30,833
I will in a minute.
168
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:38,750
How's that?
169
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,375
I was thinking of going
away for a few days.
170
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:47,291
Can you cope?
171
00:21:47,416 --> 00:21:48,875
Can't even work the microwave.
172
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,291
I'd better stay then.
173
00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:04,083
I must say
that I've missed you
174
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:05,833
and all your letters
and care packages.
175
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:07,791
And I'm looking forward togetting back
176
00:22:07,916 --> 00:22:09,791
some of your favorite
pieces of music.
177
00:22:09,916 --> 00:22:13,250
So without much further ado,here's a letter from Mrs.--
178
00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:53,833
Is he with you?
179
00:22:53,958 --> 00:22:54,708
No.
180
00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,000
Not at the moment.
181
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,458
Have you seen him?
182
00:22:57,583 --> 00:22:59,625
No, I don't mean that.
183
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:02,083
I just need to know ifyou've told him that we met.
184
00:23:04,791 --> 00:23:05,583
No.
185
00:23:05,708 --> 00:23:08,208
That's up to you.
186
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:09,625
My
son's taking the Oxford
187
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:11,666
entrance exam this term.
188
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,708
I can't move him.
189
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:17,333
I can't go anywhere
at the moment.
190
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,250
It's all rather a mess.
191
00:23:18,375 --> 00:23:20,625
I don't know what to do.
192
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:22,125
Yes.
193
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,083
I understand.
194
00:23:24,208 --> 00:23:26,708
I'm
glad one of us does.
195
00:23:26,833 --> 00:23:27,833
Sorry to have bothered you.
196
00:24:04,750 --> 00:24:07,708
Should have stayed.
197
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:08,958
At least for his birthday.
198
00:24:13,416 --> 00:24:18,208
I always end up
doing what you want.
199
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,500
You're the one who
gets his own way.
200
00:24:56,416 --> 00:24:57,166
Anna?
201
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:02,625
Anna!
202
00:25:05,333 --> 00:25:06,125
Anna!
203
00:25:12,708 --> 00:25:14,958
All you need to know
is I'm not leaving you.
204
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,375
Aren't you going
to be late for work?
205
00:26:13,125 --> 00:26:14,791
Is this what they
call unmaking house?
206
00:26:34,041 --> 00:26:36,708
You've forgotten the
sweater I bought you.
207
00:26:38,541 --> 00:26:40,375
Whatever you thought you mightgain isn't going to happen.
208
00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:41,833
Do you understand?
209
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,416
What are your plans
for the rest of the day?
210
00:27:20,541 --> 00:27:22,500
I intend to be humored.
211
00:27:22,625 --> 00:27:23,416
Oh my god.
212
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:29,541
Who's been knocking you about?
213
00:27:29,666 --> 00:27:30,458
None of your business.
214
00:27:43,625 --> 00:27:45,666
Two men being physical
with each other.
215
00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:48,416
I won't put it any
stronger than that.
216
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:52,208
It is a violence against nature.
217
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:56,916
A man always wants a
son, if he's honest.
218
00:27:57,041 --> 00:28:01,708
Waiting until he can affordthe very best for him.
219
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:04,750
And the anxiety.
220
00:28:04,875 --> 00:28:08,583
Now nothing.
221
00:28:11,625 --> 00:28:14,708
How did you expect
me to accept that?
222
00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:17,916
He's gobbed in our faces.
223
00:28:18,041 --> 00:28:18,791
Cut him out.
224
00:28:18,916 --> 00:28:20,041
Make a clean break.
225
00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:20,916
That's best.
226
00:28:21,041 --> 00:28:23,500
That's the only way.
227
00:28:23,625 --> 00:28:25,000
Did you say something?
228
00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,458
No.
229
00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:30,375
No.
230
00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:40,791
I'm doing my walk down fromthe very back of the stage,
231
00:28:40,916 --> 00:28:43,416
the heel-licking
darkness behind me
232
00:28:43,541 --> 00:28:47,000
getting deeper with each step.
233
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:51,750
And the light draws me forwards.
234
00:28:51,875 --> 00:28:56,041
When I get to the footlights,I can feel the warmth from them
235
00:28:56,166 --> 00:29:01,500
creeping up my legs andsee the flesh-tinted gels
236
00:29:01,625 --> 00:29:05,041
winking up at me in welcome.
237
00:29:05,166 --> 00:29:07,625
Like all those white
corpses fighting off
238
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:08,500
the enemy invaders.
239
00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:21,583
I can see the exit signs, thedress circle, the balcony.
240
00:29:21,708 --> 00:29:24,583
The gods packed solid
with well-hung Greeks.
241
00:29:28,416 --> 00:29:33,666
I can see the gilt cherubscavorting among the ruby velvet
242
00:29:33,791 --> 00:29:40,083
and the hundreds and hundredsof beautiful, young, male faces
243
00:29:40,208 --> 00:29:43,125
all looking up at me likethe flags of all nations.
244
00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:53,583
And now the audience
is really going wild.
245
00:29:53,708 --> 00:29:56,875
They're standing and
waving their arms,
246
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,458
cheering and whistling
and stomping their feet.
247
00:30:01,583 --> 00:30:04,250
And I haven't even
opened my mouth.
248
00:30:04,375 --> 00:30:06,166
Just as well.
249
00:30:06,291 --> 00:30:07,166
Why?
250
00:30:07,291 --> 00:30:08,416
You need more mouthwash.
251
00:30:29,125 --> 00:30:30,125
Oh, you're so dominant.
252
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:31,000
Enough.
253
00:30:31,125 --> 00:30:32,041
Stop it.
254
00:30:32,166 --> 00:30:33,041
I love it.
255
00:30:48,250 --> 00:30:53,375
Well, finally the
cheering subsides.
256
00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:55,208
I get the nod from
the conductor,
257
00:30:55,333 --> 00:30:59,875
and just as I'm filling my driedprune lungs to gasp out My Way,
258
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,833
a thought occurs to me.
259
00:31:01,958 --> 00:31:05,916
That you've been fuckedstupid by your entire audience.
260
00:31:06,041 --> 00:31:06,791
So.
261
00:31:18,875 --> 00:31:20,166
Drum rolls.
262
00:31:20,291 --> 00:31:25,083
The follow spot changing
color, blue, red, green,
263
00:31:25,208 --> 00:31:27,666
amber for the final thrust.
264
00:31:27,791 --> 00:31:29,916
And after the g-string
has floated out over
265
00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:31,875
their heads to land on acherub holding up the balcony,
266
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,583
I wake up--
267
00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:35,500
You wake up shivering withthat bloody shit stained duvet
268
00:31:35,625 --> 00:31:36,958
on the floor and
a pain in the ass.
269
00:31:39,833 --> 00:31:40,583
Sorry.
270
00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:45,750
When?
271
00:31:45,875 --> 00:31:47,375
When what?
272
00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:50,708
Did I tell you?
273
00:31:50,833 --> 00:31:51,708
Does it matter?
274
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:58,000
Just before we opened
our birthday cards.
275
00:32:48,208 --> 00:32:49,625
Who were they?
276
00:32:49,750 --> 00:32:50,958
Men.
277
00:32:51,083 --> 00:32:52,750
They were just man I
sought comfort from.
278
00:32:52,875 --> 00:32:54,250
Comfort!
279
00:32:54,375 --> 00:32:55,875
That's what you were sodesperately searching for,
280
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:56,916
was it?
281
00:32:57,041 --> 00:33:00,083
And you couldn't get it at home!
282
00:33:00,208 --> 00:33:03,666
Look, if I knew what I wanted,none of what you so graphically
283
00:33:03,791 --> 00:33:05,208
described need have happened!
284
00:33:05,333 --> 00:33:07,333
And you still need
comfort, do you?
285
00:33:07,458 --> 00:33:08,708
People change.
286
00:33:08,833 --> 00:33:10,125
Needs change.
287
00:33:10,250 --> 00:33:13,166
Why did I lose my
home and my son because
288
00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:15,000
of your sexual appetite?
289
00:33:15,125 --> 00:33:17,541
Did I leave you?
290
00:33:17,666 --> 00:33:20,125
Not necessarily.
291
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,000
Let's consider an alternative.
292
00:33:28,791 --> 00:33:32,250
Might not be exactly whatyou're searching for,
293
00:33:32,375 --> 00:33:33,500
but it's a fair copy.
294
00:33:36,625 --> 00:33:37,958
Safe sex, too.
295
00:33:38,083 --> 00:33:39,666
I think you'll agree.
296
00:33:39,791 --> 00:33:42,375
The assistant considered safetya very strong selling point.
297
00:33:50,625 --> 00:33:53,916
For god's sake, tell me why!
298
00:33:54,041 --> 00:33:56,541
Even your boyfriend is worriedyou might have infected me.
299
00:34:36,958 --> 00:34:38,708
You said I ought to
get myself tested.
300
00:34:42,125 --> 00:34:45,666
Everyone makes
their own decisions.
301
00:34:45,791 --> 00:34:48,625
Why warn me then
in the first place?
302
00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:51,916
How could you decide
when you didn't know?
303
00:34:52,041 --> 00:34:54,958
Salve your conscience, andit might just pay dividends.
304
00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,916
Who for?
305
00:34:57,041 --> 00:35:00,250
For you, if I had left him.
306
00:35:00,375 --> 00:35:01,125
But you haven't.
307
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:04,250
Yet.
308
00:35:10,708 --> 00:35:14,250
Why did he do it?
309
00:35:14,375 --> 00:35:17,083
Have you asked him?
310
00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:19,500
All this talk of not
being his true self.
311
00:35:22,166 --> 00:35:24,375
How the hell do you find
the meaning of life,
312
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:28,250
groping some
stranger in the dark?
313
00:35:28,375 --> 00:35:30,458
You don't.
314
00:35:30,583 --> 00:35:34,125
It's a strong compulsion,and like most drugs,
315
00:35:34,250 --> 00:35:36,916
it only gives temporary relief.- From what?
316
00:35:37,041 --> 00:35:37,833
One's self.
317
00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:38,916
One's situation.
318
00:35:41,500 --> 00:35:42,291
Sorry.
319
00:35:45,750 --> 00:35:47,750
No, you're not.
320
00:35:47,875 --> 00:35:49,458
You're safe.
321
00:35:49,583 --> 00:35:50,916
You know more about
him than I do,
322
00:35:51,041 --> 00:35:52,666
and you were clever enoughto protect yourself.
323
00:35:52,791 --> 00:35:54,291
Why should you be sorry?
324
00:35:54,416 --> 00:35:56,375
He isn't even your
problem any more, is he?
325
00:35:59,750 --> 00:36:00,541
Is he still yours?
326
00:36:04,083 --> 00:36:04,833
Oh, yes.
327
00:36:04,958 --> 00:36:05,750
I think so.
328
00:36:05,875 --> 00:36:08,166
Don't you?
329
00:36:08,291 --> 00:36:09,875
It may have been only
a registry office,
330
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,000
but I agreed to every word.
331
00:36:14,125 --> 00:36:19,500
It was-- it was an
informed decision.
332
00:36:19,625 --> 00:36:23,208
Now I need to know
that-- I have to know.
333
00:36:26,541 --> 00:36:28,291
I'm just so frightened.
334
00:36:44,875 --> 00:36:47,250
Up and down.
335
00:36:47,375 --> 00:36:48,750
Keep breathing.
336
00:36:48,875 --> 00:36:52,708
That's it.
337
00:37:25,375 --> 00:37:27,708
There's a whole world ofnew experience out there,
338
00:37:27,833 --> 00:37:31,708
just waiting, foot
rot being one of them.
339
00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:35,541
You have to be careful.
340
00:37:35,666 --> 00:37:37,250
How many lessons have you had?
341
00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:39,333
Only three so far.
342
00:37:39,458 --> 00:37:42,250
I keep scraping my
toe on the bottom.
343
00:37:42,375 --> 00:37:43,916
Well, they won't let
us into the deep end
344
00:37:44,041 --> 00:37:45,875
until they're quite
sure we can float.
345
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,708
Everything all right?
346
00:37:51,833 --> 00:37:53,375
Yes.
347
00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:54,458
Yes, of course.
348
00:37:54,583 --> 00:37:55,875
Then what are you doing here?
349
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,208
It isn't my birthday.
350
00:37:57,333 --> 00:37:58,416
Certainly isn't Christmas.
351
00:38:01,666 --> 00:38:02,833
I just wanted to see you.
352
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:06,833
Nothing special.
- Peter working hard?
353
00:38:09,583 --> 00:38:13,208
Keith behaving himself?
354
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,625
What makes you ask that?
355
00:38:15,750 --> 00:38:18,375
Just the way you
look, as if you're
356
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:19,666
about to burst into tears.
357
00:38:22,791 --> 00:38:24,958
You can if you want.
358
00:38:25,083 --> 00:38:27,458
No one will notice in here.
359
00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:29,125
The chlorine makes
all their eyes smart.
360
00:38:38,375 --> 00:38:41,041
I thought I might
visit Mum's grave.
361
00:38:41,166 --> 00:38:43,958
Isn't that what people do whenthey've been given bad news?
362
00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:45,583
Visit aging parent.
363
00:38:45,708 --> 00:38:49,666
Retrace their steps
back to the womb.
364
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:50,833
Take a look at
where they've come
365
00:38:50,958 --> 00:38:52,375
from before they
settle themselves
366
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:54,666
to where they're going.
367
00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:56,166
I haven't got a womb.
More's the pity.
368
00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:57,041
Always wanted one.
369
00:38:59,708 --> 00:39:01,541
Womb envy isn't fashionable.
370
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,791
It's not lumps, then?
371
00:39:06,916 --> 00:39:08,208
No, of course not.
372
00:39:08,333 --> 00:39:09,916
You have regular checks,
sensible girl like you.
373
00:39:12,958 --> 00:39:14,250
No breast lumps?
374
00:39:17,250 --> 00:39:18,083
Hm.
375
00:39:18,208 --> 00:39:19,000
Another woman, perhaps?
376
00:39:21,458 --> 00:39:24,333
Accountacy is so lucrative,he's keeping two families?
377
00:39:24,458 --> 00:39:26,750
Dad, why can't you justenjoy the fact that I'm here?
378
00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:31,166
You get rid of
that haunted look,
379
00:39:31,291 --> 00:39:32,916
and I'll enjoy its replacement.
380
00:39:38,833 --> 00:39:41,875
It's important for you tofeel you'll be able to cope
381
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,708
should the result be positive.
382
00:39:44,833 --> 00:39:47,041
Can anyone be sure of that?
383
00:39:47,166 --> 00:39:48,416
No.
384
00:39:48,541 --> 00:39:49,625
But you should have
time to think about it.
385
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:55,958
I thought you wanted
people to be tested.
386
00:39:56,083 --> 00:40:00,083
We don't want people
to rush into it.
387
00:40:00,208 --> 00:40:03,875
I'm not rushing, believe me.
388
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:04,791
Do you have children?
389
00:40:08,625 --> 00:40:10,166
One son.
390
00:40:10,291 --> 00:40:12,791
He's 18.
391
00:40:12,916 --> 00:40:15,083
Why do you believe you
may have been at risk?
392
00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:23,458
My husband had unsafe
sex three years ago.
393
00:40:23,583 --> 00:40:25,375
Now will you please just
take a blood sample?
394
00:40:28,166 --> 00:40:29,625
Is he also going to be tested?
395
00:40:35,666 --> 00:40:37,041
Have you discussed it?
396
00:40:41,625 --> 00:40:43,000
He had sex with men.
397
00:40:46,541 --> 00:40:49,666
Quite a lot of men.
398
00:40:49,791 --> 00:40:51,125
I don't have a total.
399
00:40:55,625 --> 00:41:00,916
It went on over a period
of about six months,
400
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:04,666
and included unprotected
anal sex with enough men
401
00:41:04,791 --> 00:41:06,208
to have caught the
virus many times.
402
00:41:11,791 --> 00:41:17,875
Since then, he and Ihave had unprotected sex,
403
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,125
also many times.
404
00:41:54,125 --> 00:41:56,375
Anna, please.
405
00:41:56,500 --> 00:41:57,583
Don't stay in here
again tonight.
406
00:42:03,208 --> 00:42:05,250
Don't upset Peter.
407
00:42:05,375 --> 00:42:07,916
Look, with his entrance
exam so close--
408
00:42:08,041 --> 00:42:08,833
Don't upset Peter?
409
00:42:22,125 --> 00:42:23,500
Have you been for the test?
410
00:42:30,125 --> 00:42:30,916
When?
411
00:42:33,541 --> 00:42:35,125
When will you know?
412
00:42:35,250 --> 00:42:38,208
In about 10 days.
413
00:42:38,333 --> 00:42:41,375
If I go back for it.
414
00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,041
You mean you
might not go back?
415
00:42:44,166 --> 00:42:47,500
Most probably I will.
416
00:42:47,625 --> 00:42:50,000
Unless--
417
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,333
How do you know who to approach?
418
00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:14,416
How do you avoid propositioningsomeone who isn't gay?
419
00:43:14,541 --> 00:43:16,500
Someone who might turn
nasty and beat you up?
420
00:43:22,875 --> 00:43:27,125
Most of the time, Iwait until I'm approached.
421
00:43:35,458 --> 00:43:38,583
It's easier to be
generous or demanding
422
00:43:38,708 --> 00:43:40,416
when-- when you're anonymous.
423
00:43:43,458 --> 00:43:44,250
Not being judged.
424
00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:56,583
There are very few words,and the hollow feeling
425
00:43:56,708 --> 00:44:00,541
goes away for a little while.
426
00:44:00,666 --> 00:44:02,708
But Steve was different.
427
00:44:06,583 --> 00:44:09,875
He was just someone who
reminded me of a friend
428
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,875
at school.
429
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,375
Someone who looked after me.
430
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,166
I used to think I was
rather good at that.
431
00:44:24,375 --> 00:44:29,375
I go with another man inthe dark, in-- in a toilet,
432
00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,500
wherever, it's just as much me.
433
00:44:33,625 --> 00:44:34,833
It's part of me.
434
00:44:38,958 --> 00:44:43,583
Mike, the man
who counseled me,
435
00:44:43,708 --> 00:44:47,916
said he'd be happy to
see you at any time.
436
00:44:48,041 --> 00:44:50,333
No obligation.
437
00:44:50,458 --> 00:44:51,250
Just to chat.
438
00:44:54,166 --> 00:44:55,125
What do you think about it?
439
00:45:00,041 --> 00:45:01,958
But then if you wait
and I test positive,
440
00:45:02,083 --> 00:45:04,291
there'll be no need for youto think about it, will there?
441
00:45:20,625 --> 00:45:22,541
Don't go.
442
00:45:22,666 --> 00:45:23,458
I've decided.
443
00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:30,708
I don't understand you.
444
00:45:30,833 --> 00:45:33,083
You understanding
isn't important anymore.
445
00:45:36,083 --> 00:45:40,875
Your love, if you had any,might have been a help.
446
00:46:02,166 --> 00:46:02,958
I'll see you later.
447
00:46:12,958 --> 00:46:13,750
Hello?
448
00:46:16,791 --> 00:46:17,666
It's Anna.
449
00:46:20,791 --> 00:46:24,000
Steve said he'd mentioned me.
450
00:46:24,125 --> 00:46:25,125
He said you'd be expecting me.
451
00:46:28,125 --> 00:46:31,083
It it all right to come in?
452
00:46:31,208 --> 00:46:31,958
Hello?
453
00:46:57,458 --> 00:46:59,166
This is all I have.
454
00:46:59,291 --> 00:47:03,291
Please take it,
and do not use gas.
455
00:47:03,416 --> 00:47:04,625
Sorry?
456
00:47:04,750 --> 00:47:07,458
James Thurber, The
Night the Bed Fell.
457
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:15,000
Steve said you wouldn't
mind my dropping by.
458
00:47:15,125 --> 00:47:17,750
I thought he was at leastgoing to introduce us.
459
00:47:17,875 --> 00:47:20,208
It's better like this.
460
00:47:20,333 --> 00:47:21,083
Me Jim.
461
00:47:24,625 --> 00:47:26,000
Anna.
462
00:47:26,125 --> 00:47:29,416
Minus your banner.
463
00:47:29,541 --> 00:47:30,416
Take a pew.
464
00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:41,750
Well, I'll show you mine
if you'll show me yours.
465
00:47:46,708 --> 00:47:48,750
Is he yours?
466
00:47:48,875 --> 00:47:50,333
I'm not into
possessions anymore.
467
00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:52,875
Are you?
468
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,333
I meant I'd show you my life.
469
00:47:56,458 --> 00:47:59,333
That was part of it.
470
00:47:59,458 --> 00:48:00,333
Me at 19.
471
00:48:04,625 --> 00:48:06,083
I'm sorry.
472
00:48:06,208 --> 00:48:07,666
Why?
473
00:48:07,791 --> 00:48:10,916
Who would want to be 19 again,with all those hormones.
474
00:48:11,041 --> 00:48:12,333
Having to fight people off.
475
00:48:15,833 --> 00:48:17,333
Now I get the
unemployed scaffolder
476
00:48:17,458 --> 00:48:19,333
next door to come in oncea fortnight for a hand job.
477
00:48:33,791 --> 00:48:35,208
That was my hell freak period.
478
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:40,833
Lasted almost until Brian died.
479
00:48:50,041 --> 00:48:50,916
Buzzing.
480
00:48:51,041 --> 00:48:51,833
Buzzing.
481
00:48:51,958 --> 00:48:54,000
Christ.
482
00:48:54,125 --> 00:48:54,916
What should I do?
483
00:48:55,041 --> 00:48:56,166
What's wrong?
484
00:48:56,291 --> 00:48:58,000
It's a-- it's a
sudden-- sudden surge
485
00:48:58,125 --> 00:49:00,208
of drugs through the veins.
486
00:49:00,333 --> 00:49:01,875
Happens sometimes.
487
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,875
Scares the hell out of me.
488
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:07,041
Oh, Christ!
489
00:49:07,166 --> 00:49:08,000
Sorry.
490
00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:08,875
Here.
491
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:16,791
There is no warning,
and I never know when.
492
00:49:16,916 --> 00:49:17,666
It'll pass.
493
00:49:17,791 --> 00:49:18,583
You'll be all right.
494
00:49:20,583 --> 00:49:23,250
Dark, oh, shit.
495
00:49:23,375 --> 00:49:24,875
I'm really frightened.
496
00:49:27,958 --> 00:49:30,708
Wha-- wha-- what-- what I'msuppose-- what I'm supposed
497
00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:34,333
to do to stop the fear.
498
00:49:34,458 --> 00:49:38,916
I'm supposed to visualize itwaking up whole macho T cells.
499
00:49:39,041 --> 00:49:41,125
All four of them.
500
00:49:41,250 --> 00:49:42,750
Can you name them?
501
00:49:42,875 --> 00:49:43,791
What?
502
00:49:43,916 --> 00:49:45,000
Give them names, the T cells.
503
00:49:45,125 --> 00:49:46,166
Then you'll be able to see them.
504
00:49:46,291 --> 00:49:47,166
No.
No.
505
00:49:47,291 --> 00:49:48,708
I can't.
506
00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:50,875
Cause they're just-- they'rejust dots in your blood,
507
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,250
tiny tadpole things.
508
00:49:52,375 --> 00:49:53,333
Try.
509
00:49:53,458 --> 00:49:54,958
Macho, you said.
510
00:49:55,083 --> 00:49:56,500
What-- what humans are macho?
511
00:49:56,625 --> 00:49:57,916
Make them human.
512
00:49:58,041 --> 00:50:02,041
Uh, uh, do-- Ameri--
American life guards.
513
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,375
Good.
514
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:04,333
Doing press ups?
515
00:50:04,458 --> 00:50:05,250
No.
516
00:50:05,375 --> 00:50:06,708
No.
517
00:50:06,833 --> 00:50:09,791
They're-- they're writingMother's Day cards.
518
00:50:09,916 --> 00:50:15,458
Theodore's got black, curlyhair and eyelashes I'd kill for.
519
00:50:15,583 --> 00:50:20,291
Ty-- Tyrone's blonde, witha palm tree of chest hair.
520
00:50:20,416 --> 00:50:21,708
And who are the other two?
521
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:26,583
Uh, Tobias, Torquil,
Two Ton Tennessee.
522
00:50:26,708 --> 00:50:27,625
That's five.
523
00:50:27,750 --> 00:50:28,791
You've been holding out on me.
524
00:50:37,208 --> 00:50:40,041
Better?
525
00:50:40,166 --> 00:50:43,875
Passing-- it's
just passing off now.
526
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:44,791
Thanks.
527
00:50:48,291 --> 00:50:52,166
Now that we've been formallyintroduced, how about me
528
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,708
making us both some coffee?
529
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:55,291
In-- in a minute.
530
00:50:58,833 --> 00:51:00,666
I just want to make
sure it's all gone.
531
00:51:10,625 --> 00:51:11,458
Where's your mother, Jim?
532
00:51:14,791 --> 00:51:18,250
I don't see her often.
533
00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:19,208
She thinks I'm a slut.
534
00:52:02,916 --> 00:52:04,375
- What's wrong, Mum?
- This is.
535
00:52:26,541 --> 00:52:27,791
Is he waiting
in the park again?
536
00:52:39,041 --> 00:52:41,500
What's in the case?
537
00:52:41,625 --> 00:52:44,791
I've come to stay
until you're better.
538
00:52:47,916 --> 00:52:49,125
Do you know how
to protect yourself?
539
00:52:56,208 --> 00:52:57,083
I can learn.
540
00:53:02,166 --> 00:53:03,416
Look at this!
541
00:53:03,541 --> 00:53:05,583
It's so bloody dishonest.
542
00:53:05,708 --> 00:53:07,708
It just reinforces
prejudice against people
543
00:53:07,833 --> 00:53:09,750
who actually have AIDS.
544
00:53:09,875 --> 00:53:10,875
Them and us.
545
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:14,958
Them queers and drug users.
546
00:53:15,083 --> 00:53:18,458
Irene, would you be kind andget Mrs. Reynolds a cup of tea.
547
00:53:18,583 --> 00:53:20,375
It's an attempt to
frighten teenagers
548
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:21,833
away from sex altogether!
549
00:53:27,708 --> 00:53:30,291
The light's so low I canhardly see what I brought.
550
00:53:33,833 --> 00:53:35,958
Did you tell him
what I look like?
551
00:53:36,083 --> 00:53:37,458
How could I?
552
00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:41,375
I've only ever seen youin the dark before today.
553
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:42,791
What did you tell him?
554
00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:50,958
That you'd lost
a lot of weight.
555
00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:53,250
And the lesions?
556
00:53:53,375 --> 00:53:56,916
I didn't mention those.
557
00:53:57,041 --> 00:53:59,958
Or that I was
forgetting things?
558
00:54:00,083 --> 00:54:00,958
Dementing.
559
00:54:04,583 --> 00:54:05,458
Are you?
560
00:54:15,041 --> 00:54:17,916
I didn't know about that.
561
00:54:18,041 --> 00:54:19,375
You seem all right to me.
562
00:54:23,375 --> 00:54:28,041
You think if he knew that I'malso going blind he might come?
563
00:54:28,166 --> 00:54:29,750
While I can still see him.
564
00:55:55,833 --> 00:55:57,708
Thanks.
565
00:55:57,833 --> 00:55:59,791
Hello.
566
00:55:59,916 --> 00:56:00,708
Hi.
567
00:56:35,875 --> 00:56:38,541
I thought you didn't
like this place.
568
00:56:38,666 --> 00:56:39,500
I guessed you'd be here.
569
00:56:42,500 --> 00:56:45,958
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
570
00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:50,083
Look, I don't know whatI'm doing, where I'm going,
571
00:56:50,208 --> 00:56:52,000
or anything.
572
00:56:52,125 --> 00:56:56,000
I don't need a death sentence should worry.
573
00:57:05,625 --> 00:57:07,625
What did you really
come here for, ay?
574
00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:08,833
What do you want from me?- Nothing.
575
00:57:08,958 --> 00:57:10,333
I don't want anything.
- Yes, you do.
576
00:57:10,458 --> 00:57:11,541
You want me to comfort you.
577
00:57:11,666 --> 00:57:13,208
Be gentle, kind, understanding.
578
00:57:13,333 --> 00:57:14,750
You want me to tell you thatit's all right to be scared.
579
00:57:14,875 --> 00:57:16,125
Is that such a terrible thing?
580
00:57:16,250 --> 00:57:17,833
I'm not Anna.
581
00:57:17,958 --> 00:57:19,333
And I'm not a fucking saint.
582
00:57:19,458 --> 00:57:22,666
I don't need to understandyou or even like you.
583
00:57:22,791 --> 00:57:24,875
I don't think you'd find
my pity very helpful.
584
00:57:35,916 --> 00:57:38,208
Back at 17.
585
00:57:38,333 --> 00:57:42,041
Off to London every day.
586
00:57:42,166 --> 00:57:46,791
You told me once about thegirls you traveled with.
587
00:57:46,916 --> 00:57:49,291
Working girls, you
called them, didn't you?
588
00:57:52,416 --> 00:57:55,916
I was very slow to catchon to what they worked at.
589
00:57:58,833 --> 00:58:01,291
Little devil.
590
00:58:01,416 --> 00:58:03,791
Claimed London was the
only place he'd find
591
00:58:03,916 --> 00:58:07,291
the reference books he needed.
592
00:58:07,416 --> 00:58:11,166
I used to come across the oddexercise book and drawings
593
00:58:11,291 --> 00:58:13,833
that he drew.
594
00:58:13,958 --> 00:58:18,291
What with him not having gotinto college or anything,
595
00:58:18,416 --> 00:58:20,125
we didn't take it seriously.
596
00:58:29,333 --> 00:58:31,541
I suppose I didn't want
to think about what
597
00:58:31,666 --> 00:58:33,958
you were really doing.
598
00:58:34,083 --> 00:58:37,000
Why don't you ask him?
599
00:58:37,125 --> 00:58:38,416
No point now, is there?
600
00:58:41,875 --> 00:58:44,125
Best not to know
about such things.
601
00:58:50,125 --> 00:58:53,333
What about Over the Rainbow?
602
00:58:53,458 --> 00:58:54,250
Cliche.
603
00:58:58,333 --> 00:59:02,750
There's a Mozart Mass ind-minor I'm rather fond of,
604
00:59:02,875 --> 00:59:04,916
but it's too long.
605
00:59:05,041 --> 00:59:09,041
Never forget the three
minute attention span.
606
00:59:09,166 --> 00:59:10,958
The home help may wantto visit less often if she
607
00:59:11,083 --> 00:59:12,833
knows you're going to stay.
608
00:59:12,958 --> 00:59:14,750
It might be best not
to be too specific
609
00:59:14,875 --> 00:59:16,041
till we see how things go.
610
00:59:26,458 --> 00:59:30,416
I-- I thought he
was on his own here,
611
00:59:30,541 --> 00:59:31,708
apart from one or two friends.
612
00:59:38,166 --> 00:59:41,291
He's not going to let on howpleased he is you came, Mary.
613
00:59:41,416 --> 00:59:42,291
Not yet.
614
00:59:49,791 --> 00:59:50,875
Got it!
615
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,208
Got what?
616
00:59:52,333 --> 00:59:53,833
Closing Number.
617
00:59:53,958 --> 00:59:55,583
I saw it on a documentary.
618
00:59:55,708 --> 00:59:57,666
Terry, his name was.
619
00:59:57,791 --> 01:00:02,500
At the end, when the coffinslides past a little curtain,
620
01:00:02,625 --> 01:00:06,083
we'll have a hand in
a black glove-- elbow
621
01:00:06,208 --> 01:00:09,250
length with a diamante
bracelet-- come back
622
01:00:09,375 --> 01:00:12,000
through the curtain
and wave goodbye.
623
01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:12,916
What do you think?
624
01:00:15,791 --> 01:00:18,125
How did he get
what-- what he's got?
625
01:00:23,750 --> 01:00:26,458
Like anyone gets it.
626
01:00:26,583 --> 01:00:27,375
By being unlucky.
627
01:00:31,375 --> 01:00:34,583
Steve, I've got
this great idea.
628
01:00:34,708 --> 01:00:37,291
I've got this great
idea for the program.
629
01:00:37,416 --> 01:00:38,500
What program?
630
01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:39,416
Not now, Jim.
631
01:00:39,541 --> 01:00:40,916
Later, OK?
632
01:00:41,041 --> 01:00:43,250
I've changed my mindabout the closing number.
633
01:00:43,375 --> 01:00:46,333
Tell him about it later.
634
01:00:46,458 --> 01:00:47,458
No, now.
635
01:00:47,583 --> 01:00:49,541
He has to remember.
636
01:00:49,666 --> 01:00:52,250
We're talking about
my funeral service.
637
01:00:52,375 --> 01:00:53,708
Cremation.
638
01:00:53,833 --> 01:00:54,958
I don't want to be buried.
639
01:00:55,083 --> 01:00:56,708
It's too claggy.
640
01:00:56,833 --> 01:00:58,583
One thing at a time, Jim.
641
01:00:58,708 --> 01:00:59,958
What's the matter with you?
642
01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:02,666
It's no big deal.
643
01:01:02,791 --> 01:01:04,333
Gran did it.
644
01:01:04,458 --> 01:01:06,333
Don't you remember?
645
01:01:06,458 --> 01:01:09,000
It's exactly what me Gran did.
646
01:01:09,125 --> 01:01:09,916
Yes.
647
01:01:10,041 --> 01:01:11,291
That's right.
648
01:01:11,416 --> 01:01:15,791
When she knew that they
couldn't ,
649
01:01:15,916 --> 01:01:18,166
she chose all her own hymns.
650
01:01:18,291 --> 01:01:19,833
Right.
651
01:01:19,958 --> 01:01:23,000
Well, I'm doing the same,except it won't all be hymns.
652
01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:26,333
Right at the end, we'll havethis black diamante glove--
653
01:01:26,458 --> 01:01:28,208
No.
654
01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:30,375
No.
655
01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:31,375
Great idea.
656
01:01:31,500 --> 01:01:32,333
But no.
657
01:01:38,916 --> 01:01:39,875
Oh, well.
658
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,125
Back to the drawing board.
659
01:01:42,250 --> 01:01:43,041
Can't win them all.
660
01:02:09,541 --> 01:02:12,875
It's time.
661
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:14,458
Well, I want to be early.
662
01:02:21,083 --> 01:02:22,458
Wish me luck.
663
01:02:22,583 --> 01:02:23,958
Good luck, darling.
664
01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:36,250
I'll come out with you.
665
01:02:46,333 --> 01:02:49,500
Well, you'll be all right.
666
01:02:49,625 --> 01:02:50,458
I promise.
667
01:02:57,875 --> 01:03:01,916
I just know.
- And you?
668
01:03:02,041 --> 01:03:05,583
Is-- what about you two?
669
01:03:05,708 --> 01:03:07,708
Oh, we'll be all right.
670
01:03:07,833 --> 01:03:09,625
Nothing to worry about.
671
01:03:09,750 --> 01:03:11,208
Yeah.
672
01:03:11,333 --> 01:03:12,125
See you.
673
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,958
You're really going
for result today?
674
01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:47,833
This afternoon.
675
01:03:47,958 --> 01:03:51,333
What about Peter ?
676
01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:53,958
Peter's got nothing
to do with it.
677
01:03:54,083 --> 01:03:55,500
He doesn't know, and he won't.
678
01:04:05,958 --> 01:04:07,250
Steve said he'd drive me.
679
01:04:10,333 --> 01:04:11,666
Can't you drive yourself?
680
01:04:17,708 --> 01:04:19,000
Which was stronger,
your need to be
681
01:04:19,125 --> 01:04:20,958
married or wanting to marry me?
682
01:04:24,541 --> 01:04:27,041
I love you.
683
01:04:27,166 --> 01:04:27,958
Still do.
684
01:04:31,166 --> 01:04:34,916
I wasn't sure
about love at first.
685
01:04:35,041 --> 01:04:36,208
Shy.
686
01:04:36,333 --> 01:04:38,833
Lonely.
687
01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:43,375
Brought up in a close, lovingfamily, and out of my element.
688
01:04:46,875 --> 01:04:49,833
Do you remember how we madea joke about my fear of sex?
689
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:57,875
I knew I was wrong to marrywithout being in love, you see.
690
01:05:02,333 --> 01:05:07,833
The guilt. All the bloody guilt.
691
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:11,458
And then when Peter
was born, and you
692
01:05:11,583 --> 01:05:14,416
were such a good father.
693
01:05:14,541 --> 01:05:17,125
Still are.
694
01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:21,125
And the three of
us were so close.
695
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:22,541
I loved you for that.
696
01:05:25,541 --> 01:05:32,791
And for the sex, too, of course,after I learned to enjoy it.
697
01:05:32,916 --> 01:05:36,250
It was wonderful.
698
01:05:36,375 --> 01:05:40,208
And all thanks to
your gentleness.
699
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:41,125
your patience.
700
01:05:46,041 --> 01:05:50,250
When we found I couldn'thave any more after Peter,
701
01:05:50,375 --> 01:05:53,750
it was our problem.
702
01:05:53,875 --> 01:05:54,708
We faced it together.
703
01:05:57,333 --> 01:06:01,625
We faced most thingstogether in the beginning.
704
01:06:01,750 --> 01:06:02,583
Do you remember?
705
01:06:06,208 --> 01:06:07,708
I don't know what's
happened to that.
706
01:06:19,500 --> 01:06:20,791
Wish me luck.
707
01:07:07,708 --> 01:07:09,000
Hello.
Come in.
708
01:07:09,125 --> 01:07:09,958
Take a seat.
709
01:07:47,750 --> 01:07:48,750
Good afternoon,
710
01:07:48,875 --> 01:07:49,875
ladies and gentlemen.
711
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:51,416
The buffet car is now open.
712
01:07:51,541 --> 01:07:54,458
We have a wide selectionof freshly made sandwiches,
713
01:07:54,583 --> 01:07:57,958
cakes and biscuits, teas,
coffees, hot chocolates,
714
01:07:58,083 --> 01:07:59,458
and .
715
01:09:07,458 --> 01:09:09,208
You've kicked him
out, haven't you?
716
01:09:09,333 --> 01:09:10,791
No.
717
01:09:10,916 --> 01:09:14,166
He wouldn't just take offlike that without a word.
718
01:09:14,291 --> 01:09:15,625
Not now.
719
01:09:15,750 --> 01:09:17,875
Not when I'm in the
middle of all this.
720
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:20,166
It's too
complicated to explain.
721
01:09:20,291 --> 01:09:21,208
Look, I'm not a child!
722
01:09:25,125 --> 01:09:27,833
Look at it!
723
01:09:27,958 --> 01:09:29,875
This is me.
724
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:33,708
This is all I'm allowed,
all I'm good for.
725
01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:37,375
Passing bloody exams to
make my parents proud.
726
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:41,041
But of course, I'm not
going to pass, am I?
727
01:09:41,166 --> 01:09:47,333
I can't-- I can'tremember a bloody thing!
728
01:09:52,750 --> 01:09:55,083
10 Days ago, I
was tested for HIV.
729
01:09:58,958 --> 01:10:01,000
He left because I wasgetting the result today.
730
01:10:11,375 --> 01:10:12,208
What are you on about?
731
01:10:17,708 --> 01:10:19,750
Three years ago, he
put himself at risk.
732
01:10:22,500 --> 01:10:24,583
One night stands.
733
01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:27,875
Anonymous sex in lavatories.
734
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,125
That kind of thing.
735
01:10:31,250 --> 01:10:33,083
Now he's out there
somewhere, too scared
736
01:10:33,208 --> 01:10:37,583
to be tested and convincedthat we're both HIV positive.
737
01:10:42,166 --> 01:10:43,000
I am sorry.
738
01:10:47,875 --> 01:10:49,708
I had hoped you
wouldn't have to know.
739
01:10:53,083 --> 01:10:56,541
I don't believe a word of it.
740
01:10:56,666 --> 01:10:58,875
You're just afilthy-minded, lying bitch.
741
01:12:08,583 --> 01:12:10,958
Can I help you?
742
01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,291
This was my school.
743
01:12:12,416 --> 01:12:14,583
Really?
744
01:12:14,708 --> 01:12:19,250
I'm an old boy, Reynolds,Allenby House, '64 to '69.
745
01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:20,500
Good.
746
01:12:20,625 --> 01:12:21,500
Excellent.
747
01:12:24,583 --> 01:12:28,458
Well, if you'll excuse me.
748
01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:31,958
What do you teach?
749
01:12:32,083 --> 01:12:32,916
Communications studies.
750
01:12:38,041 --> 01:12:39,416
We didn't have that.
751
01:15:03,250 --> 01:15:06,541
Shall I go and look for him?
752
01:15:06,666 --> 01:15:07,500
He's 18.
753
01:15:07,625 --> 01:15:08,791
He's making a gesture.
754
01:15:08,916 --> 01:15:09,791
He'll be back.
755
01:15:51,541 --> 01:15:54,291
So much for Oxford.
756
01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:56,125
Isn't it rather futile,
punishing someone
757
01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:58,916
who isn't around to be hurt?
758
01:15:59,041 --> 01:16:02,708
How do you know
who I'm punishing?
759
01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:04,416
I could have covered for you.
760
01:16:04,541 --> 01:16:06,333
I could have said you were illand hadn't had time to phone
761
01:16:06,458 --> 01:16:07,625
the school.
762
01:16:07,750 --> 01:16:09,666
As it was, I didn't
know what to say.
763
01:16:09,791 --> 01:16:11,375
When have you ever?
764
01:16:20,041 --> 01:16:22,833
You mustn't cry.
765
01:16:22,958 --> 01:16:24,416
It's not the end of the world.
766
01:16:24,541 --> 01:16:25,791
Not if you like someone.
767
01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:31,833
No one is going
to know, are they?
768
01:16:31,958 --> 01:16:33,500
You mustn't tell.
769
01:16:33,625 --> 01:16:35,916
Anyone.
770
01:16:36,041 --> 01:16:38,375
Ever.
771
01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:41,958
No one must ever
know what we did.
772
01:16:42,083 --> 01:16:42,833
Promise?
773
01:17:00,625 --> 01:17:01,458
The postmark is Yeovil.
774
01:17:04,541 --> 01:17:06,583
It's near where
he went to school.
775
01:17:06,708 --> 01:17:07,500
I could find him.
776
01:17:07,625 --> 01:17:09,000
Bring him home.
777
01:17:09,125 --> 01:17:09,958
How would you find him?
778
01:17:10,083 --> 01:17:12,458
He could be anywhere.
779
01:17:12,583 --> 01:17:14,791
Mark an area on the map
and just keep looking.
780
01:17:20,375 --> 01:17:23,708
You're right to go.
781
01:17:23,833 --> 01:17:25,208
Steve might drive you.
782
01:17:34,250 --> 01:17:37,958
My test was
negative, by the way.
783
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:40,000
But not conclusive.
784
01:17:40,125 --> 01:17:42,333
It has to be done again inthree months to be sure.
785
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:28,000
Always remember
that he dumped me.
786
01:18:28,125 --> 01:18:31,166
That being jealous of somethingafter the event is obsessive.
787
01:18:34,666 --> 01:18:36,833
Did you think I'd have
two heads or something?
788
01:18:36,958 --> 01:18:38,250
No.
789
01:18:38,375 --> 01:18:40,750
I knew that one would
be more than sufficient.
790
01:18:44,375 --> 01:18:46,916
I was simply wondering whatyou and Dad talked about.
791
01:18:47,041 --> 01:18:48,458
If he was here
now, I expect we'd
792
01:18:48,583 --> 01:18:50,291
be discussing what a bloodyfool you were to throw
793
01:18:50,416 --> 01:18:52,375
away the chance of Oxford.
794
01:18:52,500 --> 01:18:55,125
The whole of life isn't going tostop because of this, you know.
795
01:19:00,875 --> 01:19:02,000
Mom.
796
01:19:02,125 --> 01:19:03,416
Mom.
797
01:19:03,541 --> 01:19:04,875
Mom.
798
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:05,958
Keeley, wait a minute.
799
01:19:06,083 --> 01:19:06,916
I'm talking.
800
01:19:07,041 --> 01:19:08,791
Now, stand there.
801
01:19:08,916 --> 01:19:10,250
Sorry, .
802
01:19:10,375 --> 01:19:12,250
Never guess you
would .
803
01:19:12,375 --> 01:19:13,625
- Emma.
- Emma?
804
01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:14,875
Yeah, Emma Davis.
805
01:19:16,291 --> 01:19:17,375
She used to be in
my class at school.
806
01:19:17,500 --> 01:19:19,458
Sit at the back. .
807
01:19:19,583 --> 01:19:20,833
- No!
- Yeah.
808
01:19:20,958 --> 01:19:22,416
You are joking.
809
01:19:22,541 --> 01:19:24,208
I couldn't believe itmyself, but I know .
810
01:19:27,291 --> 01:19:29,166
Yes. .
811
01:19:29,291 --> 01:19:30,250
Oh, yeah.
812
01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:32,041
Oh, yeah.
813
01:19:32,166 --> 01:19:33,416
Everyone's .
814
01:19:33,541 --> 01:19:35,875
She was pregnant before
he met .
815
01:20:01,833 --> 01:20:03,708
Oh, my god!
816
01:20:04,833 --> 01:20:08,208
Oh, Jim!
817
01:20:08,333 --> 01:20:09,208
Oh!
818
01:20:09,333 --> 01:20:10,708
What's he got?
819
01:20:10,833 --> 01:20:11,708
Tell me!
820
01:20:11,833 --> 01:20:14,208
What's he ill with?
821
01:20:14,333 --> 01:20:16,666
Are you all right?
822
01:20:16,791 --> 01:20:18,666
You better tell me what'sthe matter with him.
823
01:20:18,791 --> 01:20:20,708
He He shouldn't be
allowed out, you know.
824
01:20:20,833 --> 01:20:21,791
It's disgusting.
825
01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:24,250
Just look at him.
826
01:20:24,375 --> 01:20:25,666
You should keep him indoors!
827
01:20:35,208 --> 01:20:36,166
Hi.
828
01:20:36,291 --> 01:20:37,166
This is Steve.
829
01:20:37,291 --> 01:20:38,333
I'm not here at the moment.
830
01:20:38,458 --> 01:20:39,833
Please leave a message.
831
01:21:14,250 --> 01:21:15,250
Thanks for bringing me.
832
01:21:15,375 --> 01:21:16,125
Any time.
833
01:21:44,166 --> 01:21:46,625
Now, we're going to haveto replace all nourishment
834
01:21:46,750 --> 01:21:48,125
you wasted in that shop.
835
01:21:51,625 --> 01:21:53,583
Just a little liquid then, hey?
836
01:21:57,333 --> 01:22:00,375
Something for the
T cell boys, stuck
837
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:01,875
out there in all that heat.
838
01:22:05,958 --> 01:22:07,333
Something for Steve.
839
01:22:10,958 --> 01:22:12,041
How about your mother, then?
840
01:22:21,791 --> 01:22:25,708
I know what you're holdingout for, you bastard.
841
01:22:25,833 --> 01:22:28,083
You want to see amiddle-class housewife beg.
842
01:22:39,416 --> 01:22:41,791
Dad.
843
01:22:41,916 --> 01:22:43,291
You won't get rid of
me as easy as that.
844
01:22:46,250 --> 01:22:49,000
Where are you living?
845
01:22:49,125 --> 01:22:51,291
Peter, please, go home.
846
01:22:51,416 --> 01:22:52,791
Can't.
847
01:22:52,916 --> 01:22:54,833
No transport.
848
01:22:54,958 --> 01:22:57,708
Catch a bus or take
the train from Yeovil.
849
01:22:57,833 --> 01:22:59,125
Not unless you come with me.
850
01:23:02,541 --> 01:23:04,708
At least talk about it.
851
01:23:04,833 --> 01:23:07,500
I deserve that much, surely.
852
01:23:07,625 --> 01:23:08,750
I can't explain
anything to you.
853
01:23:08,875 --> 01:23:12,250
I haven't asked you to.
854
01:23:12,375 --> 01:23:15,333
That's not what I want.
855
01:23:15,458 --> 01:23:16,916
Please.
856
01:23:17,041 --> 01:23:18,875
Show me where you're staying.
857
01:23:26,291 --> 01:23:27,625
I'm just going to
put the belts on you,
858
01:23:27,750 --> 01:23:31,000
Jim, keep you nice and safe.
859
01:23:31,125 --> 01:23:33,416
You just bring what he'llneed and don't worry.
860
01:23:33,541 --> 01:23:37,375
We've had lots of practicegetting him out of here.
861
01:23:37,500 --> 01:23:38,875
All right, Jim.
862
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:40,833
We're going to take youdown to the ambulance now.
863
01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:58,208
Everything
seemed so vivid.
864
01:23:58,333 --> 01:24:01,208
Leaning against the school wall,waiting to be asked to join in.
865
01:24:06,708 --> 01:24:09,416
If you feel cold, we
could light a fire.
866
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:10,416
I'm not cold.
867
01:24:21,208 --> 01:24:24,416
He always laughed a lot.
868
01:24:24,541 --> 01:24:28,333
Found ordinary things funny.
869
01:24:28,458 --> 01:24:29,833
The attraction of
opposites, really.
870
01:24:32,916 --> 01:24:38,500
He was good at most
subjects, except maths.
871
01:24:38,625 --> 01:24:40,291
Sports, too.
872
01:24:40,416 --> 01:24:44,583
He always liked team games.
873
01:24:44,708 --> 01:24:46,541
Tough and confident.
874
01:24:46,666 --> 01:24:47,500
I admired that.
875
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:52,791
Almost a year older, and
wanted to protect me.
876
01:24:56,375 --> 01:24:57,750
His body was so warm.
877
01:25:07,250 --> 01:25:08,583
I felt cold badly in those days.
878
01:25:13,166 --> 01:25:14,500
Even in the summer.
879
01:25:17,583 --> 01:25:19,916
During holidays
I wore two vests.
880
01:25:23,541 --> 01:25:28,083
Kept a squash ball he'dgiven in my trouser pocket,
881
01:25:28,208 --> 01:25:32,375
turning it over and over anddigging my fingernails into it.
882
01:25:35,375 --> 01:25:39,208
Sad, guilty child,
counting off the days.
883
01:25:44,250 --> 01:25:46,583
In the end, it doesn'tmatter who you love, does it?
884
01:25:49,625 --> 01:25:51,458
The only important thing
is to be capable of it.
885
01:25:57,041 --> 01:25:59,458
You sure you don't feel cold?
886
01:25:59,583 --> 01:26:01,958
No, I don't.
887
01:26:02,083 --> 01:26:03,416
I'm really quite warm.
888
01:26:06,958 --> 01:26:08,666
You're coming home with
me now, aren't you?
889
01:27:32,416 --> 01:27:33,208
I'm sorry.
890
01:27:36,291 --> 01:27:38,500
He left you a message.
891
01:27:38,625 --> 01:27:41,958
He says if you wear that old,green jacket to the funeral,
892
01:27:42,083 --> 01:27:43,583
he'll come back and haunt you.
893
01:28:53,791 --> 01:28:54,666
Satisfied?
894
01:28:59,291 --> 01:29:03,208
You thought he was a
prostitute, didn't you?
895
01:29:03,333 --> 01:29:07,125
Well, when he came to
London, he was studying
896
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:10,000
at the reference libraries.
897
01:29:10,125 --> 01:29:12,958
Steve told me.
898
01:29:13,083 --> 01:29:14,583
Wouldn't have
mattered what he was.
899
01:30:10,375 --> 01:30:11,583
Look at all these people.
900
01:32:12,750 --> 01:32:16,000
I've applied to
be a volunteer.
901
01:32:16,125 --> 01:32:18,750
I might have offered myservices to the Samaritans
902
01:32:18,875 --> 01:32:23,250
or the Citizens Advice Bureau,but I think I've discovered
903
01:32:23,375 --> 01:32:26,583
a way to please my son.
904
01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:30,250
Pathetic, really, but
one must have something.
905
01:32:39,916 --> 01:32:43,625
If you want to be part
of this family again,
906
01:32:43,750 --> 01:32:47,000
then you must be tested.
907
01:33:09,541 --> 01:33:11,541
You have all been at
risk of HIV infection
908
01:33:11,666 --> 01:33:15,708
at some point in your lives,but you haven't really
909
01:33:15,833 --> 01:33:19,291
taken it seriously.
910
01:33:19,416 --> 01:33:24,833
Either you've noticed moreabout HIV and AIDS in the media,
911
01:33:24,958 --> 01:33:26,500
and you've been
thinking about it
912
01:33:26,625 --> 01:33:29,708
more over the past few monthsbecause you've been having
913
01:33:29,833 --> 01:33:31,333
little unexplained illnesses.
914
01:33:34,875 --> 01:33:36,083
They've been getting
more frequent,
915
01:33:36,208 --> 01:33:39,250
and your doctor
can't explain why.
916
01:33:39,375 --> 01:33:40,750
So you start to worry about HIV.
917
01:33:44,875 --> 01:33:48,458
So you go to a localclinic, discuss it further,
918
01:33:48,583 --> 01:33:49,875
and the doctor takes
some of your blood.
919
01:33:53,416 --> 01:34:01,083
The ask you to come back inabout a week for the result.
920
01:34:01,208 --> 01:34:03,416
So you wait.
921
01:34:03,541 --> 01:34:05,625
And it's the longest
wait of your life.
922
01:34:08,750 --> 01:34:12,375
Finally, you go
back for the result.
923
01:34:12,500 --> 01:34:16,250
The doctor sits you down
and says, I'm sorry.
924
01:34:16,375 --> 01:34:17,708
It's positive.
925
01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:34,541
I couldn't get used
to coming second.
926
01:34:34,666 --> 01:34:37,125
I hated him sometimes.
927
01:34:37,250 --> 01:34:38,291
Often.
928
01:34:38,416 --> 01:34:41,333
I have to say that.
929
01:34:41,458 --> 01:34:45,000
But I never wanted his death.
930
01:34:45,125 --> 01:34:48,041
I never wished for that.
931
01:34:48,166 --> 01:34:51,208
I think you did, Frank.
932
01:34:51,333 --> 01:34:52,750
It doesn't matter now.
933
01:34:58,791 --> 01:35:02,291
You get into the habit ofchecking yourself out, looking
934
01:35:02,416 --> 01:35:04,125
for anything that
might be unusual to try
935
01:35:04,250 --> 01:35:06,916
and keep on top of any problemsof opportunistic infections.
936
01:35:10,208 --> 01:35:13,291
Then one day, you
notice a small lesion.
937
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:16,125
It might be on the
back of your leg.
938
01:35:16,250 --> 01:35:19,125
Perhaps on your trunk.
939
01:35:19,250 --> 01:35:24,166
Kaposi's sarcoma on its own israrely a direct cause of death,
940
01:35:24,291 --> 01:35:26,833
not like pneumonia or aviral infection that might
941
01:35:26,958 --> 01:35:28,625
affect your eyes or your brain.
942
01:35:31,541 --> 01:35:34,791
But it is a very
visible condition.
943
01:35:34,916 --> 01:35:36,250
Everyone will know.
944
01:35:40,166 --> 01:35:42,958
The small blotches get bigger.
945
01:35:43,083 --> 01:35:47,958
In time, months, perhaps years,you may have as many as three
946
01:35:48,083 --> 01:35:49,208
or four hundred lesions.
947
01:36:03,083 --> 01:36:04,958
Look into your
mirrors now, please.
948
01:36:12,916 --> 01:36:15,291
And consider these questions.
949
01:36:17,750 --> 01:36:18,541
How do I feel?
950
01:36:22,500 --> 01:36:23,250
Who can I tell?
951
01:36:28,166 --> 01:36:29,250
What do I want?
59995
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