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1
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,584
Must you? Just here?
2
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,462
... three, two, one!
3
00:01:03,546 --> 00:01:05,547
Happy New Year!
4
00:01:48,051 --> 00:01:49,385
I do.
5
00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:55,058
It now gives me
great pleasure to pronounce you...
6
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:58,812
Excuse me.
7
00:02:11,618 --> 00:02:14,078
You all right?
8
00:02:14,538 --> 00:02:16,622
I'm fine.
9
00:02:16,707 --> 00:02:19,292
- Something lodged?
- Nothing.
10
00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:20,960
- Water.
- What?
11
00:02:21,044 --> 00:02:22,878
A glass of water, please.
12
00:02:22,963 --> 00:02:25,006
- Where's the water?
- I don't know.
13
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,596
Oh, dear.
14
00:02:31,681 --> 00:02:33,515
He's getting it from the font!
15
00:02:34,309 --> 00:02:35,475
Mmm.
16
00:02:43,652 --> 00:02:45,611
Jesus Christ. Sorry.
17
00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:49,574
- So sorry. Where were we?
- "I now pronounce you."
18
00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:51,993
- I now pronounce you.
- Yeah.
19
00:02:55,331 --> 00:02:58,708
- No, thank you.
- I now pronounce you...
20
00:02:58,792 --> 00:03:01,169
...husband and wife.
21
00:03:08,762 --> 00:03:09,762
Look at them.
22
00:03:09,846 --> 00:03:12,681
- Aren't they adorable?
- Yes.
23
00:03:13,475 --> 00:03:15,684
I give it a year.
24
00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:34,788
And for those of you who don't know me,
25
00:03:34,872 --> 00:03:36,873
and especially if we meet in the bar later,
26
00:03:36,957 --> 00:03:39,377
my name is,
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
27
00:03:39,961 --> 00:03:42,046
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
28
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,131
Fornication...
29
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:45,966
I'll read that again.
30
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,593
For an occasion...
31
00:03:47,677 --> 00:03:48,719
like this,
32
00:03:48,804 --> 00:03:51,931
I want to make sure I keep up
the traditions of being a best man.
33
00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:54,975
Apparently I need to get the groom
to the church on time. Tick.
34
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:57,603
I need to remember the rings. Did that.
And I need to...
35
00:03:57,687 --> 00:04:00,106
have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey!
36
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:05,070
I... To be fair, I wrote these, um...
before I knew they...
37
00:04:05,196 --> 00:04:06,947
I would never have sex with a...
38
00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:09,157
Maybe when they're older.
Never say never.
39
00:04:09,242 --> 00:04:11,410
And keep away from Paedo Rog! Ha-ha!
40
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:12,911
All right, Paedo?
Nice to have you.
41
00:04:12,995 --> 00:04:14,579
He's come a long way. Good lad.
42
00:04:15,249 --> 00:04:19,001
It's great to see so many people turn up
to see Josh finally tie the knot.
43
00:04:19,086 --> 00:04:20,545
And about time, too.
44
00:04:20,629 --> 00:04:22,755
Nat's got it all.
She's brilliantly clever,
45
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,216
apparently really delivers in the bedroom.
46
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:28,010
Like mother like daughter, eh?
He knows what I'm talking about.
47
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:29,095
And I don't know about you,
48
00:04:29,179 --> 00:04:31,764
but I feel she could easily be a model,
I think we'll agree,
49
00:04:32,099 --> 00:04:34,142
if it wasn't for her nose.
50
00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:36,686
When I first saw her beaver...
51
00:04:36,770 --> 00:04:38,688
...ing away... Beavering away,
52
00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:40,857
cooking Josh a meal,
I knew she was a real catch.
53
00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:44,611
Um, I've got no idea why
her previous boyfriend cheated on her,
54
00:04:44,696 --> 00:04:46,113
but, uh, I'm glad he did.
55
00:04:46,197 --> 00:04:47,656
Cheers to him, wherever he may be.
56
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,324
Probably shagging.
57
00:04:49,409 --> 00:04:51,703
But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat.
58
00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:53,913
You're a real eight out of ten, love.
I mean that sincerely.
59
00:04:54,290 --> 00:04:56,624
And we're delighted you and Josh
have found each other.
60
00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:58,710
So, everyone, please, raise your glasses
61
00:04:59,128 --> 00:05:01,546
as we say a little toast to Nat and Josh.
62
00:05:01,755 --> 00:05:03,715
To Nat and Josh!
63
00:05:09,138 --> 00:05:10,722
Nat is literally gonna
be cringing right now.
64
00:05:10,806 --> 00:05:13,141
She hates being the centre of attention.
65
00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,852
It is impossible to imagine anyone
66
00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:18,771
looking more beautiful
than you do today, Nat.
67
00:05:18,856 --> 00:05:21,149
And I know how much you love
being the centre of attention.
68
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:22,860
That's just one of the things
that makes us so different.
69
00:05:23,153 --> 00:05:24,570
Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer.
70
00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:27,240
I'm laissez-faire, you're anal.
71
00:05:27,325 --> 00:05:28,366
Hey, you dirty sod!
72
00:05:29,327 --> 00:05:30,410
On you go.
73
00:05:30,495 --> 00:05:32,287
I think it's fine for a man to wear Crocs,
74
00:05:32,371 --> 00:05:35,081
and you've made it abundantly
clear you do not.
75
00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:37,751
I know it's only been seven months,
76
00:05:37,835 --> 00:05:41,963
and some of you think that we're crazy
for getting married, but...
77
00:05:42,632 --> 00:05:47,135
all I know is, from the
first moment I saw you,
78
00:05:47,220 --> 00:05:49,846
I knew that yours was the only face
79
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:51,890
and the only voice...
80
00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:55,143
- that I would ever need again.
- Aw!
81
00:05:55,228 --> 00:05:56,853
'Cause in that moment,
everything just changed.
82
00:05:56,938 --> 00:06:00,148
Everything just seemed to fit so perfectly.
83
00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:01,776
Wahey!
84
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:05,197
And I'm so lucky that I feel like
I'm only just getting to know you.
85
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,910
Ladies and gentlemen,
86
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,787
here's to us.
87
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,415
- Here's to us.
- Cheers!
88
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,774
Are you happy?
89
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,568
The happiest.
90
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,364
The best two hours and
36 minutes of my life.
91
00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,954
You know, I had this terrible fear
92
00:06:52,038 --> 00:06:55,416
that you were gonna
do some sort of novelty dance.
93
00:07:03,592 --> 00:07:05,926
Get it on quickly, get it on quickly.
I'm so sorry, Nat.
94
00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:41,255
- You can't say those things.
- Don't be a player hater.
95
00:07:41,340 --> 00:07:43,466
Seriously, mate.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
96
00:07:43,592 --> 00:07:44,634
Am I right? Put it there, mate.
97
00:07:48,723 --> 00:07:50,432
- Ready?
- Yeah.
98
00:08:08,285 --> 00:08:10,411
Aw. That's nice.
99
00:08:14,124 --> 00:08:17,126
Listen, son, you know
it's not easy, don't you?
100
00:08:17,836 --> 00:08:20,755
- The first year is the worst.
- Okay.
101
00:08:20,839 --> 00:08:22,256
- It's true.
- Thank you.
102
00:08:22,341 --> 00:08:24,093
If you can make it through
the first year of marriage,
103
00:08:24,177 --> 00:08:26,887
- you can make it through anything.
- Yeah.
104
00:08:27,597 --> 00:08:29,932
You know, there were times
when your father was late home
105
00:08:30,016 --> 00:08:32,768
- I used to fantasise he'd been killed.
- Did you?
106
00:08:32,852 --> 00:08:34,186
- Mmm.
- That's nice.
107
00:08:34,270 --> 00:08:36,105
Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA.
108
00:08:36,356 --> 00:08:37,731
Strange, strange.
109
00:08:37,774 --> 00:08:39,942
But things got better
because we love each other.
110
00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:42,236
Tremendous, tremendous.
111
00:08:51,038 --> 00:08:53,039
- Shall we go, yeah? This is weird.
- Yes, it's a bit weird.
112
00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:00,214
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
113
00:09:09,391 --> 00:09:12,059
- So, that was nine months ago.
- Mmm.
114
00:09:12,561 --> 00:09:16,313
And I think even then we knew instinctively
115
00:09:16,398 --> 00:09:17,690
something wasn't quite right.
116
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,900
You realised you'd married beneath yourself.
117
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,570
You thought you could be
with someone better-looking,
118
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,322
better body, perhaps a professional man?
119
00:09:25,407 --> 00:09:26,992
- Uh, no.
- No.
120
00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:31,872
No, no, I think we were both in love
with the idea of being in love.
121
00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:37,003
You know, and we're at that age
where we're ready to find "the one".
122
00:09:37,087 --> 00:09:39,505
And don't tell me, Josh,
you opened that closet door,
123
00:09:39,590 --> 00:09:40,882
didn't want to live that lie any more.
124
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:42,633
I picked up on it the moment you sat down.
125
00:09:42,718 --> 00:09:45,261
Tricks of the trade.
You know, you can tell by the shoes.
126
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:49,474
No! Oh, Christ, no, no, no, no,
I'm completely straight.
127
00:09:49,892 --> 00:09:51,559
Couldn't be less gay.
I mean, I don't even like...
128
00:09:51,643 --> 00:09:53,394
touching my own penis.
129
00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:58,316
Right, so were there terrible
sexual problems?
130
00:09:58,525 --> 00:10:01,152
Does he have tremendously niche desires?
131
00:10:01,612 --> 00:10:02,820
Did he want to touch you here?
132
00:10:06,116 --> 00:10:07,951
- Uh...
- Never with a pen.
133
00:10:10,288 --> 00:10:12,582
Look, Nat's amazing, obviously.
She's wonderful.
134
00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:14,793
And I think we both really want
to make this work.
135
00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:15,919
But is it possible
136
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:18,379
that some people
just aren't supposed to be married?
137
00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:20,632
Truthfully, there's just something
in our marriage
138
00:10:20,716 --> 00:10:22,258
that hasn't quite...
139
00:10:22,343 --> 00:10:24,177
- Clicked.
...jelled.
140
00:10:30,851 --> 00:10:32,477
So? Was it like a dream?
141
00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:34,854
Well, we ticked every wedding box.
142
00:10:34,939 --> 00:10:37,774
Cake, sweaty uncles dancing to Queen.
143
00:10:37,858 --> 00:10:40,568
People we thought were dead
flying in from Canada.
144
00:10:40,653 --> 00:10:42,570
It was very wedding-y, right?
145
00:10:42,655 --> 00:10:43,988
It was so romantic.
146
00:10:44,073 --> 00:10:45,406
It was just like a Hugh Grant film.
147
00:10:45,616 --> 00:10:47,619
- It was amazing, wasn't it?
- Mmm!
148
00:10:47,703 --> 00:10:49,496
Did you like all the flowers?
We got the most...
149
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,831
I'm sorry,
150
00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:52,749
but can we do this at lunch?
151
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:54,793
- Right. Absolutely, Helen.
- Thanks.
152
00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:56,837
Ruthlessly efficient, as always.
153
00:10:56,921 --> 00:10:57,963
We should not be talking about
154
00:10:58,047 --> 00:10:59,923
- lace halter necks on company time.
- No.
155
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:04,010
- What's the story?
- While you were on your holiday,
156
00:11:04,178 --> 00:11:05,387
I took the initiative
157
00:11:05,513 --> 00:11:07,722
and I started gathering
ideas for Guy Harrap.
158
00:11:08,099 --> 00:11:11,518
He's taken over his father's
industrial solvent and bleach empire.
159
00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:16,398
You weren't here, but he basically wants
to make solvents and bleach sexy.
160
00:11:16,482 --> 00:11:18,441
Fuck off.
161
00:11:20,611 --> 00:11:23,114
Is that my dirty little slut of a wife?
162
00:11:23,991 --> 00:11:24,991
Hey!
163
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,325
What are you doing?
164
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:28,287
Uh, middle of a meeting. What's up?
165
00:11:28,496 --> 00:11:31,456
Maybe I'm just missing
the sexiest wife in the universe.
166
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:34,751
- Not working today?
- I've got writer's block.
167
00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:39,131
I can't work out whether to call
my main character Ezra
168
00:11:39,382 --> 00:11:41,967
- or David.
- Um, David.
169
00:11:42,051 --> 00:11:43,719
I was at school with an
Ezra who got expelled
170
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,137
for punching a swan in the throat.
171
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:47,055
Who said the second novel would be tricky?
172
00:11:48,099 --> 00:11:49,141
Anything else?
173
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:51,977
No, no, no. I'll see you at three.
174
00:11:52,061 --> 00:11:53,562
Love...
175
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,230
...you.
176
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,984
Sorry, that was my husband.
177
00:11:58,068 --> 00:11:59,527
He has writer's block.
178
00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:01,487
Did I mention that he
was a writer, of books?
179
00:12:01,572 --> 00:12:03,615
- Only about a million times.
- Yeah, Clare mentioned it,
180
00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:05,867
but I've never heard of him.
181
00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,332
Sorry, sorry.
182
00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:13,667
You do realise you're not going
any faster than walking, don't you?
183
00:12:13,752 --> 00:12:15,836
You've got all the superficial
trappings of a run
184
00:12:15,921 --> 00:12:18,088
but there's people walking
much faster than you.
185
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:20,424
You're just expending
a lot of surplus energy.
186
00:12:20,592 --> 00:12:22,593
Thank you for that analysis.
187
00:12:22,677 --> 00:12:23,969
How late are we?
188
00:12:24,054 --> 00:12:27,139
Well, you, my little friend,
are 10 minutes early.
189
00:12:27,223 --> 00:12:29,934
I told you the wrong time because I knew
you'd never be on schedule.
190
00:12:30,602 --> 00:12:32,686
- Right.
- Mmm!
191
00:12:32,771 --> 00:12:35,649
I'm just trying to work out
if I find that endearing
192
00:12:35,733 --> 00:12:39,277
or it makes me want to bludgeon you
to death with a shovel.
193
00:12:39,362 --> 00:12:41,029
- No, it's endearing.
- I think it's a shovel.
194
00:12:41,113 --> 00:12:43,281
- It's endearing.
- Do we have a shovel?
195
00:12:43,366 --> 00:12:46,618
Well, firstly, a hearty "mazoltov"
for your marriage.
196
00:12:47,453 --> 00:12:48,621
- I think it's "mazel tov", isn't it?
- Thank you.
197
00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:50,748
- Mmm?
- I always thought it was "mazel tov".
198
00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:52,291
I don't know, I'm not Jewish.
199
00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:53,751
Oh.
200
00:12:54,419 --> 00:12:58,965
But, as you know, whilst everything
may seem so happy now,
201
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:01,384
of course you could be
struck down at any time.
202
00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:05,429
Cancer. Heart disease. Meningitis.
203
00:13:05,555 --> 00:13:07,181
Hit by a truck.
204
00:13:07,265 --> 00:13:08,684
Bam!
205
00:13:09,477 --> 00:13:13,438
I had a client who was kicked to death
by a group of disaffected youths
206
00:13:13,523 --> 00:13:14,898
high on meow meow.
207
00:13:14,983 --> 00:13:17,150
She'd just left the house to get potatoes.
208
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,820
- Just potatoes.
- Shit.
209
00:13:19,904 --> 00:13:21,154
And the tragedy was,
210
00:13:21,239 --> 00:13:23,031
she hadn't thought to make a will.
211
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:25,784
Or a Tesco home delivery.
212
00:13:25,868 --> 00:13:26,994
What?
213
00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:28,997
Yeah.
214
00:13:29,665 --> 00:13:32,333
She was only identifiable
by her dental records.
215
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,836
Why, what had they done to her?
216
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,671
They'd made impressions of her teeth.
217
00:13:38,716 --> 00:13:40,633
Still, fortunately, you two have had
the presence of mind
218
00:13:40,718 --> 00:13:41,759
to plan for your future.
219
00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:44,221
So, have you considered what would happen
220
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:46,724
if either of you fell into a persistent...
221
00:13:46,808 --> 00:13:49,476
- ... vegetatative state?
- A what, sorry?
222
00:13:49,561 --> 00:13:51,478
Persistent vegetatative state.
223
00:13:51,563 --> 00:13:54,231
Mmm. One too many
T's there. "Vegetative."
224
00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:59,820
Have you considered what would happen
if you fell into...
225
00:13:59,904 --> 00:14:00,988
one of these guys?
226
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,741
Just pillow talk, really.
227
00:14:05,035 --> 00:14:07,119
No, I think we did decide
that we'd both like to be left to die.
228
00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:09,789
Excellent, yes.
We just switched off my aunt.
229
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:11,416
- I'm sorry.
- Aw.
230
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,501
No, it's all right.
It's no quality of life.
231
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,170
And we freed up a socket for a lava lamp.
232
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:16,463
Ah.
233
00:14:16,547 --> 00:14:17,630
It's transformed the lounge.
234
00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:18,757
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
235
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,134
Largely losing her, to be fair.
236
00:14:21,511 --> 00:14:24,472
Now, can we go through a few of these?
Just give me a yes or no.
237
00:14:24,556 --> 00:14:27,558
Are we switching the life support off?
238
00:14:27,642 --> 00:14:28,684
Brain dead?
239
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:32,438
- Switch it off.
- Switch it off. Get it off.
240
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,565
Locked-in syndrome?
241
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,276
That's the one where you're paralysed
but you can still wink.
242
00:14:37,903 --> 00:14:39,111
It's all the...
243
00:14:39,738 --> 00:14:41,989
It's the dribble, isn't it,
that I couldn't handle.
244
00:14:42,074 --> 00:14:44,450
- Constantly mopping up phlegm.
- I wouldn't want that.
245
00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:46,410
You wouldn't want that.
That's why you're murdering your wife.
246
00:14:47,579 --> 00:14:48,662
So, are you switching it off?
247
00:14:48,747 --> 00:14:49,956
- Sorry, what are you doing?
- Off!
248
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:51,333
- Switch it off, yeah.
- Off she goes!
249
00:14:51,417 --> 00:14:53,126
Night-night.
250
00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:57,465
Um, brain-damaged and vegetative.
251
00:14:57,549 --> 00:14:59,050
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
252
00:14:59,426 --> 00:15:00,968
Um, brain stem undamaged.
253
00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:03,930
So you're breathing,
you're swallowing, you're fine,
254
00:15:04,014 --> 00:15:07,016
but you are still literally
a shell of a person
255
00:15:07,101 --> 00:15:10,770
with no capacity for any emotion or thought.
256
00:15:11,730 --> 00:15:13,564
Much like my Susan.
257
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,441
My little joke.
258
00:15:17,986 --> 00:15:19,821
- Off, off.
- Off, yeah, off.
259
00:15:19,905 --> 00:15:23,783
Get that off, off, off, off!
260
00:15:25,327 --> 00:15:26,619
Well, this is slightly more depressing
261
00:15:26,703 --> 00:15:27,870
- than I'd imagined.
- Oh, no. Come one.
262
00:15:27,955 --> 00:15:30,164
And you haven't even received my bill yet.
263
00:15:31,919 --> 00:15:33,336
That's a good 'un. That is a good 'un.
264
00:15:40,344 --> 00:15:42,846
An electric peppermill?
265
00:15:42,930 --> 00:15:44,764
I can't believe you got
an electric peppermill.
266
00:15:45,516 --> 00:15:47,684
We thought we had to have
at least one dinner party
267
00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:49,435
to use all the crap we got bought.
268
00:15:50,229 --> 00:15:51,563
At least that's a useful gift.
269
00:15:51,772 --> 00:15:53,565
D'you know what I mean?
I hate those gifts where someone says,
270
00:15:53,649 --> 00:15:54,691
"Do you know what I've done for you?
271
00:15:54,775 --> 00:15:56,151
"I've donated to charity
on your behalf."
272
00:15:56,235 --> 00:15:58,069
"Have you? Really?" Bollocks to that.
273
00:15:58,154 --> 00:16:00,655
If I'm getting married, why should some
African fella get a couple of goats?
274
00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,282
I want a fucking smoothie maker,
d'you know what I mean?
275
00:16:05,077 --> 00:16:07,413
- Did you get them goats?
- Four of them.
276
00:16:07,497 --> 00:16:08,539
- Four goats?
- Yeah.
277
00:16:08,623 --> 00:16:10,166
That's a lovely gift, that,
because they need goats.
278
00:16:12,253 --> 00:16:13,670
African fella's pleased.
279
00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:17,299
Go on, tell us about your honeymoon.
280
00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:20,010
It was lovely. It was idyllic.
281
00:16:20,094 --> 00:16:21,386
Morocco's beautiful.
282
00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:22,804
- Amazing place, yeah.
- Yeah.
283
00:16:22,889 --> 00:16:24,181
It was just a bit long, really.
284
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:25,265
I was really sad when we came back.
285
00:16:25,349 --> 00:16:27,851
Well, things hit a low point
when we found ourselves
286
00:16:27,935 --> 00:16:30,103
in the Essaouira Museum
of Leather Manufacturing
287
00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:33,273
discussing if we had a superpower,
what would it be?
288
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:36,359
I actually really enjoyed that.
I thought that was really fun.
289
00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:37,944
I think if I was gonna have any superpower,
290
00:16:38,154 --> 00:16:39,779
it would be the ability to speak Spanish.
291
00:16:39,906 --> 00:16:42,158
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
Because you could say stuff like,
292
00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:44,785
- Hola, gazpacho.
- You just said it.
293
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,370
- You're saying it now.
- Oh, wow.
294
00:16:46,455 --> 00:16:47,872
Hmm.
295
00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:50,291
Not strictly speaking a superpower,
though, is it, really?
296
00:16:50,375 --> 00:16:52,127
Otherwise everyone in Brazil
would be superheroes.
297
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:53,754
Mmm, true.
298
00:16:54,130 --> 00:16:55,589
They speak Portuguese in Brazil.
299
00:16:56,674 --> 00:16:57,674
You cock.
300
00:17:00,011 --> 00:17:01,929
- Mmm?
- Keep it for the car.
301
00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,264
Um, so... Wait, so, Josh,
302
00:17:04,349 --> 00:17:06,266
- what did you choose?
- Boring, really. Super-strength.
303
00:17:06,351 --> 00:17:08,018
That's what I would choose, too!
304
00:17:08,269 --> 00:17:11,230
I think it would be so handy
to be able to open, like, jam jars.
305
00:17:11,314 --> 00:17:13,440
Jam jars! That's exactly...
Isn't that exactly what I said?
306
00:17:13,524 --> 00:17:15,943
- That's exactly what you said.
- That's exactly what I said.
307
00:17:16,027 --> 00:17:17,069
- That's so funny.
- That is so funny.
308
00:17:17,153 --> 00:17:19,906
Are we eight years old, all of a sudden?
This is what children talk about.
309
00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,449
All right, Nat, calm down,
we were only having a joke.
310
00:17:21,533 --> 00:17:22,700
Yeah, joke's over.
311
00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:25,286
Ooh. "Grounds for divorce dot com."
312
00:17:26,038 --> 00:17:29,499
Shut up, you "bell-end dot-co-dot-uk".
313
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:32,419
To be honest, I'm not sure
you could get a divorce
314
00:17:32,504 --> 00:17:34,129
because I'm not even sure
you're officially married.
315
00:17:34,214 --> 00:17:35,464
Because they never officially split up.
316
00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:40,803
- What?
- What?
317
00:17:40,887 --> 00:17:42,054
They never officially split up.
318
00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,389
What are you talking about?
319
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,017
You never officially broke up, did you?
320
00:17:47,394 --> 00:17:51,939
Yeah, actually it's, um...
it's pretty funny, really,
321
00:17:52,023 --> 00:17:56,152
because, um, when I left for Africa,
322
00:17:56,237 --> 00:17:57,904
we sort of never formally ended it.
323
00:17:57,989 --> 00:17:59,030
Never formal.
324
00:18:01,075 --> 00:18:03,201
We just sort of... We left it open.
325
00:18:03,286 --> 00:18:04,411
Wide open.
326
00:18:04,495 --> 00:18:05,704
Then I ended up being gone for four years.
327
00:18:05,788 --> 00:18:08,206
- About four years...
- But what's four years, really?
328
00:18:13,588 --> 00:18:14,755
I've told you this.
329
00:18:15,924 --> 00:18:18,843
- Nat. Nat.
- Hmm?
330
00:18:18,927 --> 00:18:20,094
I've told you this.
331
00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:24,682
He wasn't happy, though,
I'll tell you, that time.
332
00:18:24,766 --> 00:18:28,185
Honestly, we used to refer to 2008
as the sort of... as the "lost year".
333
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:30,355
- Mate.
- He would just sit there in his pants.
334
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,150
You know, drinking and playing
Grand Theft Auto, masturbating.
335
00:18:33,276 --> 00:18:34,443
No!
336
00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:36,570
Sometimes all three at once.
337
00:18:36,654 --> 00:18:37,904
That's an impressive thing.
I couldn't do that.
338
00:18:37,989 --> 00:18:39,656
I could practise for ages,
I wouldn't be able to do that.
339
00:18:39,741 --> 00:18:40,782
Imagine that on Britain's Got Talent.
340
00:18:44,203 --> 00:18:48,332
Nat, I'm really sorry
about that, back there.
341
00:18:48,416 --> 00:18:49,624
I just... I thought that you knew.
342
00:18:49,709 --> 00:18:52,711
Oh, no, don't be silly.
It was years ago.
343
00:18:52,795 --> 00:18:55,923
2008, I was still using
"LOL" un-ironically
344
00:18:56,008 --> 00:18:57,050
and wearing ballet flats.
345
00:18:59,636 --> 00:19:01,929
Look at those.
You look really cute in those.
346
00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:04,140
- Thanks, thanks.
- Pretty.
347
00:19:04,809 --> 00:19:06,143
Um...
348
00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:08,645
Yeah, well, you know,
it really was a long time ago
349
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,147
and we were both so young.
350
00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:12,274
We were so different back then.
351
00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,110
And now he's married
to the coolest woman on the planet.
352
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:16,487
You're sweet.
353
00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:19,156
I thought,
"I've got it made, I married a doctor."
354
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,241
And then you realise,
you're gonna wake up every day
355
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,826
to the same hairy ears.
356
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:26,330
The same slightly deformed fungal toenail.
357
00:19:26,414 --> 00:19:27,998
And you're gonna have
to listen to that weird,
358
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,917
ear-throat-clearing sound they make
359
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:31,377
every day until you are dead.
360
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,841
And the same penis.
361
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,305
I may, literally, never
see another penis again.
362
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,349
Unless it's a small child's.
363
00:19:44,976 --> 00:19:47,395
Or if you get sexually assaulted.
364
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:58,489
And Josh's is lovely. You know,
we have an incredible sex life.
365
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:00,741
But that's not the point, you know.
366
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,785
I love Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album.
367
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,830
I wouldn't necessarily want to only
listen to that for the rest of my life.
368
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,040
Yeah. Oh, honey, I've been there.
369
00:20:08,583 --> 00:20:10,626
I mean, you'll listen to it a lot
in the beginning.
370
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,086
You'll listen to it
in all different sorts of places.
371
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,047
You'll listen to it in the car,
372
00:20:14,132 --> 00:20:15,883
in the disabled toilet cubicle
in the McDonald's in Egham,
373
00:20:17,386 --> 00:20:19,303
in your unconscious granny's hospital room.
374
00:20:20,139 --> 00:20:22,473
- Granny Mary?
- It's what she would have wanted.
375
00:20:23,851 --> 00:20:24,976
But then, you know,
376
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,144
you're just gonna get to the point
377
00:20:26,228 --> 00:20:28,146
where you're not that bothered
about listening to music at all.
378
00:20:28,689 --> 00:20:30,773
You just play it on birthdays,
379
00:20:30,858 --> 00:20:33,234
or when you're very, very drunk.
380
00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:34,777
Or...
381
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:37,613
if someone shows you a Justin Bieber video
382
00:20:37,698 --> 00:20:38,865
when you're in the office
383
00:20:38,949 --> 00:20:42,743
and, you know, all you can
then think about is that.
384
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,789
Isn't he, like, 15?
385
00:20:47,249 --> 00:20:48,833
Oh, he'd know what to do.
386
00:20:50,752 --> 00:20:52,921
I'd ruin Bieber.
387
00:20:53,381 --> 00:20:56,426
You would. You would ruin him.
388
00:20:58,846 --> 00:21:01,347
Fuck.
It's the soundtrack to my marriage.
389
00:21:01,432 --> 00:21:03,349
Don't get married, you.
Too late for you.
390
00:21:07,605 --> 00:21:09,147
Penny for them.
391
00:21:10,024 --> 00:21:12,358
Your thoughts. How you doing?
392
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:13,860
Hey, Danny.
393
00:21:19,617 --> 00:21:21,326
Let's get the party started.
394
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,453
Get comfy. Get comfy.
395
00:21:37,803 --> 00:21:40,263
You know, I shouldn't really tell you
this, but I was talking to Josh...
396
00:21:40,348 --> 00:21:42,015
...and, um,
397
00:21:42,475 --> 00:21:45,894
he said that the sex between him and Nat
398
00:21:45,978 --> 00:21:47,270
is amazing.
399
00:21:47,355 --> 00:21:49,898
He said that it blows everything
he's had in the past out the water.
400
00:21:49,982 --> 00:21:51,191
Out of the water!
401
00:21:51,275 --> 00:21:54,945
- Wow. That is tremendous news.
- Tremendous news for him,
402
00:21:55,029 --> 00:21:56,321
- he's really pleased, yeah.
- It's... Yeah.
403
00:21:57,782 --> 00:21:59,991
I suppose that's not really your thing,
is it? Sex and sexiness.
404
00:22:00,159 --> 00:22:02,369
You're more...
How would you describe yourself?
405
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,665
Kind of "kind," do you know what I mean?
Charitable.
406
00:22:07,334 --> 00:22:09,627
It's a shame, in a way,
that they couldn't put...
407
00:22:09,711 --> 00:22:13,256
your brain in her body. D'you know
what I mean? That would be amazing.
408
00:22:13,340 --> 00:22:15,299
Although what would you be left with?
You'd be left with, like...
409
00:22:15,384 --> 00:22:16,635
Ooh, you'd be left with
her brain in your body.
410
00:22:16,719 --> 00:22:19,763
Imagine that.
Just rampaging around, out of control.
411
00:22:19,847 --> 00:22:22,182
"What's that?
412
00:22:22,267 --> 00:22:23,392
"Oh, my God, it's like Frankenstein,
413
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,852
"but with, like, boobs."
414
00:22:25,937 --> 00:22:29,189
Villagers coming out
with pitchforks and torches. "Kill it!"
415
00:22:30,024 --> 00:22:32,734
- It'd be just terrifying.
- It would be terrifying.
416
00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,695
It would be horrible.
417
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:37,531
No. Joking, joking. I'd do you.
418
00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:41,244
- If you wanted. You know.
- Thank you.
419
00:22:41,328 --> 00:22:45,373
If I had to make a top-10
of women I know that I would do,
420
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:47,500
you'd be in that list.
421
00:22:47,585 --> 00:22:49,586
Number seven. All right?
422
00:22:49,670 --> 00:22:51,504
- Thank you. Thanks, Danny.
- Seriously.
423
00:22:52,548 --> 00:22:55,633
Do you want to get a drink sometime?
Maybe pop out and get a drink sometime?
424
00:22:55,759 --> 00:22:57,678
Um, I... No.
425
00:22:57,762 --> 00:23:00,055
- Yeah?
- No.
426
00:23:00,140 --> 00:23:01,599
You say no, I say yes.
427
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:06,270
So, remember to play up
our ethical credentials.
428
00:23:06,354 --> 00:23:08,022
Don't mention the BP campaign.
429
00:23:08,106 --> 00:23:11,233
And let's emphasise the online campaign
we did for Greenpeace.
430
00:23:11,318 --> 00:23:12,484
Our job is to convince people
431
00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:14,654
his solvents won't render the planet
a barren, lifeless husk
432
00:23:14,739 --> 00:23:17,198
- unfit for future generations.
- Piece of piss.
433
00:23:17,283 --> 00:23:18,491
How are we gonna do that, then?
434
00:23:18,576 --> 00:23:20,410
Well, if he's a cheapskate like his dad,
435
00:23:20,536 --> 00:23:22,579
we suggest making the
typeface green and yellow
436
00:23:22,663 --> 00:23:25,999
and sticking some sort of
sunflower or butterfly on the logo.
437
00:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,125
It's textbook.
438
00:23:27,543 --> 00:23:29,044
Depressingly, you could be right.
439
00:23:30,004 --> 00:23:32,380
I expect he'll be some
sort of tasteless Yank,
440
00:23:32,465 --> 00:23:34,382
obsessed with how we're all so quaint,
441
00:23:34,467 --> 00:23:35,967
spell "colour" with a "u",
442
00:23:36,052 --> 00:23:39,764
worship Benny Hill and then
say "awesome" a lot.
443
00:23:39,890 --> 00:23:42,308
Yeah. And he'll probably do
that Austin Powers accent.
444
00:23:42,392 --> 00:23:43,809
You know the one. "Yeah, baby!"
445
00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:46,020
I didn't watch that film
446
00:23:46,104 --> 00:23:47,647
because it's absolutely not my cup of tea.
447
00:23:47,731 --> 00:23:50,484
And then plump for whatever
turns out to be the cheapest option.
448
00:23:50,568 --> 00:23:51,610
That's my prediction.
449
00:23:53,821 --> 00:23:56,782
- You're not eating today?
- There's a lot of mercury in that.
450
00:23:57,116 --> 00:23:58,367
Then why don't you get a fucking sandwich?
451
00:23:58,451 --> 00:24:00,035
I am gonna get a fucking sandwich, Clare,
452
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:01,203
but I'm not gonna have one with bread in it
453
00:24:01,287 --> 00:24:02,871
because I'm a coeliac. You know that.
454
00:24:03,665 --> 00:24:05,290
So I was thinking about your book.
455
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,833
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
456
00:24:06,918 --> 00:24:10,462
I reckon that I prefer
"Ezra" to "David" as a name.
457
00:24:11,047 --> 00:24:14,216
There was a David at school who,
if you paid him 50 cents,
458
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,051
was prepared to lick anything.
459
00:24:16,135 --> 00:24:18,137
- Literally anything.
- Let's talk about it over dinner
460
00:24:18,222 --> 00:24:21,057
because Nat's out tonight,
another work thing.
461
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:22,558
I'm starving.
462
00:24:23,435 --> 00:24:25,229
I mean, obviously, it's all relative.
463
00:24:25,313 --> 00:24:26,647
I feel their plight.
464
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,524
I only had a Kinder Bueno for lunch.
465
00:24:28,608 --> 00:24:30,901
Mmm, I can't tonight.
I'm going out with Charlie.
466
00:24:31,194 --> 00:24:34,113
What, again?
That's the third time in two weeks.
467
00:24:34,322 --> 00:24:36,073
You're counting?
468
00:24:36,116 --> 00:24:37,366
Sorry to interrupt.
469
00:24:37,450 --> 00:24:38,992
Those articles you wanted from this morning.
470
00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:40,786
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
471
00:24:42,288 --> 00:24:44,039
So, what, am I just supposed to stay home
472
00:24:44,124 --> 00:24:45,541
in the hopes you've got a free night?
473
00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:46,875
No.
474
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:48,711
I just don't want to see you
getting hurt, that's all.
475
00:24:52,173 --> 00:24:53,590
Is that him?
476
00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:54,967
Yeah.
477
00:24:55,051 --> 00:24:58,054
Well, I see someone managed
to find a Burger King out in Sudan.
478
00:25:06,732 --> 00:25:08,524
I've just seen Guy Harrap in reception!
479
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:11,110
And I would jump on him
like a bouncy castle.
480
00:25:11,194 --> 00:25:12,653
Remember to take off your shoes,
and no somersaults.
481
00:25:12,738 --> 00:25:14,238
- I need your ring.
- What?
482
00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,906
- We really need this account.
- Are you on drugs?
483
00:25:16,032 --> 00:25:18,284
Come on, it's not like you're gonna
jump into bed with the man.
484
00:25:18,368 --> 00:25:19,618
Clare!
485
00:25:19,703 --> 00:25:20,786
What's up?
486
00:25:21,872 --> 00:25:23,497
- Guy Harrap.
- Hello.
487
00:25:23,582 --> 00:25:24,665
Who we got here?
488
00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:27,084
Natasha Redfearn, Accounts Director.
489
00:25:27,169 --> 00:25:28,169
- Sweet.
- Hi.
490
00:25:28,253 --> 00:25:29,920
Is there anything we can offer you?
491
00:25:30,005 --> 00:25:33,007
Hot diggity dog, I love
the way you say that.
492
00:25:33,091 --> 00:25:34,759
Huh? The way she says that? "Offer"?
493
00:25:34,843 --> 00:25:36,344
Off... Can you say that again?
494
00:25:36,429 --> 00:25:37,971
- Oh...
- "Offer" me.
495
00:25:38,390 --> 00:25:39,599
Um, offer.
496
00:25:39,683 --> 00:25:41,225
There it is. There it is.
497
00:25:41,310 --> 00:25:42,393
- Here, give me some of that.
- Oh.
498
00:25:42,478 --> 00:25:44,437
- All right. Pound it.
- Yes. Oh.
499
00:25:44,897 --> 00:25:47,398
I got an idea. Let's sit down,
let's talk some business. Huh?
500
00:25:48,066 --> 00:25:50,777
Mr Harrap, we're delighted
that you've come to us
501
00:25:50,861 --> 00:25:52,445
to take Harraps Solvents forward
502
00:25:52,571 --> 00:25:55,573
and rebrand in the fresh challenges
presented by the new media climate.
503
00:25:55,949 --> 00:25:58,451
Awesome. Totally awesome. Bingo, huh?
504
00:25:59,953 --> 00:26:02,038
We're very pleased with some of the concepts
505
00:26:02,122 --> 00:26:03,873
we've come up with
for the new incarnation of Harraps.
506
00:26:03,957 --> 00:26:07,668
Yeah, as long as you don't fob me off
with some yellow-and-green font.
507
00:26:08,295 --> 00:26:10,505
I mean, how many times
have we seen that, right?
508
00:26:10,589 --> 00:26:12,049
Yes, exactly. No.
509
00:26:12,342 --> 00:26:13,550
Too many! Far...
510
00:26:13,635 --> 00:26:16,553
What we were pla...
What we were thinking is to take...
511
00:26:18,556 --> 00:26:21,100
- a holistic approach...
- Mmm-hmm.
512
00:26:21,977 --> 00:26:26,064
...focusing on the core brand values
of integrity...
513
00:26:26,148 --> 00:26:27,190
Integrity.
514
00:26:27,691 --> 00:26:28,942
Got it. Thank you.
515
00:26:29,068 --> 00:26:30,819
...responsibility...
516
00:26:36,575 --> 00:26:38,409
- that epitomise...
- Mmm.
517
00:26:38,577 --> 00:26:40,745
...what Harraps stands for.
518
00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:42,831
Harraps. That's very good.
519
00:26:46,126 --> 00:26:50,464
Well, to be honest, at Oxford,
my economics professor
520
00:26:50,549 --> 00:26:53,300
favoured a fully integrated
four-quadrant strategy
521
00:26:53,426 --> 00:26:55,761
cohesive across all media,
522
00:26:55,846 --> 00:26:58,013
presenting an instantly accessible,
523
00:26:58,098 --> 00:27:00,851
aesthetic, philosophical
and commercial identity
524
00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:04,312
consistent with an ethical
contemporary market leader
525
00:27:04,397 --> 00:27:08,316
whilst embracing its legacy of integrity.
526
00:27:08,484 --> 00:27:09,526
Yeah, baby!
527
00:27:09,610 --> 00:27:11,278
That's Austin Powers.
528
00:27:12,405 --> 00:27:14,281
I love that film.
529
00:27:14,448 --> 00:27:17,117
- I'm so sorry, I just...
- I know.
530
00:27:17,201 --> 00:27:22,080
You thought I was a tasteless Yank
obsessed with how quaint you all are.
531
00:27:22,164 --> 00:27:24,250
That's so quaint.
532
00:27:24,334 --> 00:27:26,460
It's incredibly embarrassing.
533
00:27:26,545 --> 00:27:28,671
But we have plenty of
other proposals to show you.
534
00:27:28,755 --> 00:27:32,133
No, I don't need to see them.
These things aren't done in boardrooms.
535
00:27:32,801 --> 00:27:35,386
We should get to know
each other, Miss Redfearn.
536
00:27:35,470 --> 00:27:37,805
A holistic approach, as you say.
537
00:27:40,268 --> 00:27:42,185
Well, agreed, but, uh,
538
00:27:42,270 --> 00:27:45,439
but from the outset, you should
know that I've just got, um...
539
00:27:52,405 --> 00:27:55,824
another account that I have to focus on
for the next few days.
540
00:27:56,284 --> 00:27:57,951
- It's been a pleasure.
- Thanks.
541
00:27:58,287 --> 00:28:00,288
- I'm so sorry again for the...
- No, please.
542
00:28:00,372 --> 00:28:03,708
Bye.
543
00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:18,765
When we first met, I just thought
Josh was exactly what I needed.
544
00:28:18,849 --> 00:28:20,351
You know, I felt...
545
00:28:20,435 --> 00:28:23,228
so safe, and then...
546
00:28:26,107 --> 00:28:27,358
I think what she's trying to say is,
547
00:28:27,442 --> 00:28:29,401
is that the everyday reality of marriage
548
00:28:29,486 --> 00:28:31,403
started to overtake the fairytale,
549
00:28:31,488 --> 00:28:33,781
- the fantasy, right?
- Ooh, hark at you.
550
00:28:34,075 --> 00:28:36,534
Somebody swallowed
a copy of Eat, Pray, Love.
551
00:28:36,827 --> 00:28:39,788
No, I think as... we...
552
00:28:41,415 --> 00:28:43,041
I'm gonna have to take this.
553
00:28:44,251 --> 00:28:45,293
Yep, fine, I'm in a session.
554
00:28:47,129 --> 00:28:49,047
Can't you pick them up?
555
00:28:49,882 --> 00:28:51,257
Give me two minutes.
556
00:28:51,342 --> 00:28:53,718
Talk about your feelings
or your father or something.
557
00:29:04,564 --> 00:29:07,233
Coming up on Cash in the Attic,
558
00:29:07,317 --> 00:29:10,195
a delightful silver brooch
made by a celebrated war hero.
559
00:29:10,989 --> 00:29:12,572
The bin's full.
560
00:29:13,282 --> 00:29:14,866
- Can you take it out?
- Yeah.
561
00:29:15,368 --> 00:29:18,036
The One Tree Hill omnibus is about to start.
562
00:29:18,121 --> 00:29:21,123
Lauren's about to tell Jake
that baby Connor's not his.
563
00:29:27,422 --> 00:29:31,758
Oh, Christ.
Your husband is so adorable.
564
00:29:36,014 --> 00:29:38,140
Yes. He really is.
565
00:29:38,224 --> 00:29:40,100
So ostentatious.
566
00:29:43,022 --> 00:29:44,564
Have you seen my phone?
567
00:29:44,648 --> 00:29:46,942
No. When did you last have it?
568
00:29:47,068 --> 00:29:49,153
Well, if I knew that,
it wouldn't be lost, would it?
569
00:29:49,237 --> 00:29:51,155
That's the point of something being lost.
570
00:29:54,117 --> 00:29:55,617
You're always here.
571
00:29:56,453 --> 00:29:58,370
Why are you always here?
572
00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,960
Come and have a look at this video
of a monkey fucking a bullfrog.
573
00:30:06,963 --> 00:30:08,505
He's killed it!
574
00:30:09,424 --> 00:30:10,799
He's killed it by fucking it!
575
00:30:31,073 --> 00:30:33,491
Seriously, Nat.
Seriously, hang on a sec.
576
00:30:33,575 --> 00:30:35,951
Why do you never get the
words to a song right?
577
00:30:37,662 --> 00:30:38,913
Does it really matter?
578
00:30:38,997 --> 00:30:41,749
What, "I've travelled the world
in generic jeans"?
579
00:30:41,833 --> 00:30:43,501
Really? Come on.
580
00:30:44,127 --> 00:30:47,338
I was just singing.
Didn't realise it was so important.
581
00:30:47,464 --> 00:30:49,298
Do you really think that
Annie Lennox is singing about
582
00:30:49,382 --> 00:30:51,926
whether she happened to travel
the world in Levis or Wranglers?
583
00:30:54,096 --> 00:30:55,763
Okay. Wow.
584
00:30:58,392 --> 00:31:00,268
And while we're at it,
Elton John isn't singing,
585
00:31:00,353 --> 00:31:02,605
"Hold me close and
tie me down, sir."
586
00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:05,900
Kurt Cobain isn't singing,
"Here we are now in containers."
587
00:31:05,984 --> 00:31:09,195
If you can't sing it right,
don't sing at all. It's idiotic.
588
00:31:10,030 --> 00:31:12,240
Says the man dressed as a pea.
589
00:31:20,249 --> 00:31:24,085
I can't believe we're having
the same fucking row!
590
00:31:25,129 --> 00:31:28,214
Oh! Not listening!
Not listening! Not listening!
591
00:31:28,882 --> 00:31:30,258
No! Fuck you!
592
00:31:30,342 --> 00:31:34,304
Oh, my God, you're such an arsehole!
593
00:31:34,389 --> 00:31:36,640
Yes, you are!
You are such a cock-sucking,
594
00:31:36,724 --> 00:31:39,226
shit-stabbing, fucking arsehole!
595
00:31:39,310 --> 00:31:43,273
I could just fucking stab
you right in the eyes!
596
00:31:44,233 --> 00:31:46,109
What the fuck are you looking at?
597
00:31:46,193 --> 00:31:47,819
You could do with a fuck!
598
00:31:48,362 --> 00:31:50,196
No, not you! Nobody wants to fuck you!
599
00:31:50,281 --> 00:31:52,615
You fucking frigid arsehole!
600
00:31:53,075 --> 00:31:54,742
Yeah, fuck you!
601
00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:00,623
So, here we are.
602
00:32:01,208 --> 00:32:03,418
The hub of the Harraps empire.
603
00:32:04,753 --> 00:32:06,087
What do you think?
604
00:32:06,547 --> 00:32:08,799
Hopefully, you can see why I wanted you
to check this place out.
605
00:32:08,925 --> 00:32:13,721
It's state-of-the-art and responsible
for a turnover last year of 37 million.
606
00:32:13,763 --> 00:32:19,560
If you squirted air from a large space
into a slightly smaller space last year,
607
00:32:19,603 --> 00:32:22,605
chances are you did it through one of these.
608
00:32:23,441 --> 00:32:25,442
Every time I squirt out a little bit of air,
609
00:32:25,484 --> 00:32:27,152
I'll think of you.
610
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,282
That sounded weird,
but you know what I mean.
611
00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:34,618
Yeah, sure.
612
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,915
There's someone I want you to meet.
613
00:32:39,957 --> 00:32:43,461
Janet's been working here
for, what, 42 years?
614
00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:45,755
Forty-three in June. Hello.
615
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,967
Yep, my grandfather exploited her,
my father exploited her,
616
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:51,135
now I get to exploit her.
617
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:54,764
He's a good lad, this one.
He takes care of us.
618
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:57,975
You won't find anybody here
with a bad word to say about him.
619
00:32:58,101 --> 00:32:59,143
Except Sarah.
620
00:32:59,770 --> 00:33:01,979
But she's a proper shithouse.
621
00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:03,272
Really?
622
00:33:03,523 --> 00:33:06,151
He just needs to settle down,
start a family.
623
00:33:06,444 --> 00:33:08,153
So, what do you think?
624
00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:09,988
- Wife material?
- Definitely.
625
00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:11,448
Better than the last one.
626
00:33:11,491 --> 00:33:12,991
You should see some of the...
627
00:33:13,117 --> 00:33:14,785
Yeah, I could dock your wages
for insubordination.
628
00:33:14,827 --> 00:33:16,119
Get back to work.
629
00:33:16,162 --> 00:33:20,166
Clostridium acetobutylicum
doesn't acidogenically ferment itself.
630
00:33:24,004 --> 00:33:26,631
It looks like you've got
the Janet seal of approval.
631
00:33:26,674 --> 00:33:28,883
I'm not sure I'm the marrying type.
632
00:33:29,051 --> 00:33:32,345
You realise you'd be the heir
to a solvents fortune.
633
00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,138
And that's not to be sniffed at.
634
00:33:34,181 --> 00:33:36,349
Literally, it could result in convulsions,
635
00:33:36,392 --> 00:33:37,809
coma, severe brain damage,
636
00:33:37,851 --> 00:33:39,560
and in some cases, mental retardation.
637
00:33:41,397 --> 00:33:44,858
They do all seem remarkably happy here.
Is it the fumes?
638
00:33:45,902 --> 00:33:48,237
These people, they're like family to me.
639
00:33:48,363 --> 00:33:50,197
I've grown up on this factory floor.
640
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,825
I spent every summer here since I was two.
641
00:33:53,410 --> 00:33:57,038
If you're good to people,
people will be good to you.
642
00:33:57,873 --> 00:34:01,376
It's what my dad taught me.
It's what I want to teach my kids.
643
00:34:03,170 --> 00:34:05,005
And I want to end all wars and cure cancer.
644
00:34:43,254 --> 00:34:45,589
- All right?
- Yeah. What?
645
00:34:46,090 --> 00:34:48,759
You really... You don't have to come
tonight if you don't want to.
646
00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:50,594
No, I want to be there.
Your husband should support you.
647
00:34:51,429 --> 00:34:52,429
You look incredible.
648
00:34:52,472 --> 00:34:53,972
I warn you, you'll be bored to tears
649
00:34:54,098 --> 00:34:56,099
'cause I'm gonna have to network all night.
650
00:34:56,142 --> 00:34:58,060
That's the cab. Seriously.
651
00:34:59,270 --> 00:35:01,646
- Last chance to bail.
- No, I want to go. I love a party.
652
00:35:01,773 --> 00:35:03,815
Uh, will I need a coat? Is it cold out?
653
00:35:03,941 --> 00:35:05,444
Why do you always ask me that?
654
00:35:05,779 --> 00:35:08,280
How should I know if you need a coat?
655
00:35:08,406 --> 00:35:10,991
I've been outside today,
you've been outside today.
656
00:35:11,117 --> 00:35:15,079
I have precisely the same amount
of meteorological information as you do.
657
00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:21,960
Josh!
658
00:35:30,261 --> 00:35:33,138
I wouldn't want to be stuck behind him
going through airport security.
659
00:35:42,024 --> 00:35:44,984
Because it's all metal.
660
00:35:45,486 --> 00:35:47,321
He's so funny, your husband.
You've got a good one there.
661
00:35:47,364 --> 00:35:48,656
Thanks, that's sweet.
662
00:35:50,867 --> 00:35:53,369
Why don't you, um, go and mingle?
663
00:35:53,495 --> 00:35:54,787
There's a band upstairs.
664
00:35:55,288 --> 00:35:57,832
No, I think I'm gonna stay here.
But you go, mingle, enjoy yourself.
665
00:35:59,668 --> 00:36:02,336
Are you staying here because you think
you have a good joke about that photo?
666
00:36:03,296 --> 00:36:04,338
What?
667
00:36:05,507 --> 00:36:06,507
You are!
668
00:36:07,008 --> 00:36:09,510
You're staying here so you can
say that joke about the photo.
669
00:36:09,553 --> 00:36:11,846
It's a good joke.
I actually have a couple.
670
00:36:11,972 --> 00:36:13,889
Wouldn't want to be behind him
going through airport security.
671
00:36:16,184 --> 00:36:17,894
At least, if you went out with him,
672
00:36:18,020 --> 00:36:19,563
you'd always have a little place
to hang your coat.
673
00:36:21,691 --> 00:36:23,066
I'm Josh Moss. Nice to meet you.
674
00:36:23,192 --> 00:36:24,818
- Hi.
- Ooh! She's gone.
675
00:36:26,572 --> 00:36:28,698
You could put your keys
on there, couldn't you?
676
00:36:30,868 --> 00:36:34,704
I think that's just what happens
when you sleep next to an open sewer.
677
00:36:35,038 --> 00:36:37,999
Had amoebic dysentery. Twice.
678
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:39,375
In Rwanda at one point,
679
00:36:39,418 --> 00:36:42,378
I was actually defecating
pieces of my colon.
680
00:36:52,765 --> 00:36:53,891
Miss Redfearn.
681
00:36:55,518 --> 00:36:56,685
Guy!
682
00:36:58,354 --> 00:37:00,772
Lovely to see you. I er...
I didn't realise you were here.
683
00:37:00,899 --> 00:37:03,025
You know, it's actually
good that I ran into you
684
00:37:03,067 --> 00:37:05,068
because I was thinking about
some of those community outreach...
685
00:37:05,195 --> 00:37:07,071
Could we take one night
off from talking shop?
686
00:37:07,907 --> 00:37:10,950
Am I allowed to say you're
looking incredible?
687
00:37:11,076 --> 00:37:12,702
Technically, no.
688
00:37:12,745 --> 00:37:14,412
That would constitute sexual harassment.
689
00:37:14,538 --> 00:37:17,707
You're right. The rules and regulations
on that are very strict these days.
690
00:37:17,750 --> 00:37:22,462
I actually have a copy of the Sexual
Discrimination Act 2007 in my hotel room
691
00:37:22,588 --> 00:37:24,047
if you'd like to come back and peruse it.
692
00:37:25,549 --> 00:37:27,927
Although Christmas parties
don't really count.
693
00:37:29,763 --> 00:37:31,597
They're an opportunity to tell the person
694
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,140
you've had a secret crush on all year
695
00:37:33,266 --> 00:37:36,101
how you really feel about them.
696
00:37:38,813 --> 00:37:40,773
Aren't they?
697
00:37:41,274 --> 00:37:42,775
Are they?
698
00:37:42,817 --> 00:37:44,485
Of course.
699
00:37:44,611 --> 00:37:47,822
I think protocol and decorum
go right out the window.
700
00:37:48,616 --> 00:37:49,824
I mean, look at that guy.
701
00:37:51,410 --> 00:37:52,452
That is embarrassing.
702
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:54,287
Who is he?
703
00:37:54,413 --> 00:37:55,997
Leave him alone, he's just had a few.
704
00:37:56,123 --> 00:37:57,916
Hang on.
He's attempting the Beyoncé booty shake.
705
00:37:57,959 --> 00:38:01,419
Either that or he's being
sodomised by the Invisible Man.
706
00:38:01,462 --> 00:38:03,839
Oh, he's just had a few too many cocktails.
707
00:38:03,966 --> 00:38:05,341
He's wasted.
708
00:38:06,093 --> 00:38:08,469
- Having a good time.
- Yeah, sure is.
709
00:38:11,682 --> 00:38:13,474
Oi, oi!
710
00:38:14,643 --> 00:38:17,603
Hold on.
Look out, here comes twinkle toes.
711
00:38:17,646 --> 00:38:19,188
He's making a beeline.
712
00:38:19,314 --> 00:38:21,107
I got your back,
I'll just say I'm your boyfriend.
713
00:38:21,149 --> 00:38:22,275
- No, you don't have to do that.
- It's fine.
714
00:38:24,528 --> 00:38:26,821
This party's amazing. So much fun.
715
00:38:27,489 --> 00:38:29,992
Guy Harrap. Pleased to meet you.
716
00:38:30,785 --> 00:38:34,663
Oh! The solvents guy!
717
00:38:35,164 --> 00:38:37,833
How are you? Nice to meet you.
He's so handsome, isn't he?
718
00:38:40,713 --> 00:38:42,380
Whoo!
719
00:38:42,506 --> 00:38:44,340
Bollocks.
720
00:38:46,385 --> 00:38:47,677
Sorry.
721
00:38:48,012 --> 00:38:49,178
Come on!
722
00:38:49,722 --> 00:38:50,722
Is that...
723
00:38:50,848 --> 00:38:52,724
Yeah, I suppose that's what
office parties are for, huh?
724
00:38:52,850 --> 00:38:54,058
That's hilarious!
725
00:38:54,184 --> 00:38:56,853
Free booze and a chance
to make out with the boss.
726
00:38:57,187 --> 00:38:58,521
Well, I'm technically self-employed,
727
00:38:58,647 --> 00:39:01,858
so I'll just have to settle for
a can of Budweiser and a wank.
728
00:39:02,359 --> 00:39:03,401
Charming.
729
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,571
Can I ask the sexiest woman in the room
for a dance?
730
00:39:06,697 --> 00:39:07,739
Listen, I...
731
00:39:07,865 --> 00:39:10,492
We're actually talking business.
So, maybe later.
732
00:39:14,498 --> 00:39:16,708
Shouldn't you be busting a move?
733
00:39:30,848 --> 00:39:32,724
You almost have to admire him
for giving it a go.
734
00:39:32,767 --> 00:39:34,351
You owe me one.
735
00:39:35,603 --> 00:39:37,562
How about we make our excuses?
736
00:39:37,605 --> 00:39:39,272
I have a table on hold at Nobu.
737
00:39:39,398 --> 00:39:41,399
No, I can't, I've a...
738
00:39:42,068 --> 00:39:44,361
I should go.
I think I need some fresh air.
739
00:39:44,737 --> 00:39:46,071
Sure.
740
00:39:47,573 --> 00:39:49,617
Hang on, I'm swapping hands.
741
00:39:51,079 --> 00:39:55,957
So, you had an extra naan
and two glasses of wine,
742
00:39:56,084 --> 00:39:58,293
so you owe an extra four pounds.
743
00:39:58,419 --> 00:39:59,753
Drew...
744
00:39:59,879 --> 00:40:02,589
...you had the mango lassi,
so that's an extra three pounds.
745
00:40:03,257 --> 00:40:06,927
I swear, the mass graves in Mogadishu
weren't as awful as this.
746
00:40:07,095 --> 00:40:08,595
Do you want to bail?
747
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:10,597
Did you have the chicken jalfrezi?
748
00:40:10,932 --> 00:40:12,432
I want to stay. It's fun.
749
00:40:12,558 --> 00:40:14,726
No, I've said hello to everybody I need to.
750
00:40:14,769 --> 00:40:16,728
It's just gonna get messy
and it's no fun being a spectator.
751
00:40:16,771 --> 00:40:19,648
I wouldn't like to be stood
behind him at airport security.
752
00:40:19,774 --> 00:40:22,442
That was my joke! He stole it!
753
00:40:22,568 --> 00:40:24,277
He's taking credit for my humour.
Should I say something?
754
00:40:24,404 --> 00:40:25,780
Jesus, Josh!
755
00:40:26,615 --> 00:40:28,408
When did you turn into such a prat?
756
00:40:29,076 --> 00:40:32,788
Stay. Dance like a fucking idiot,
tell your stupid jokes. I'm going home.
757
00:40:34,457 --> 00:40:36,959
That hoop in his ear,
he could hang his house keys on it.
758
00:40:47,470 --> 00:40:49,179
God, you are so sexy.
759
00:40:50,473 --> 00:40:51,974
You're so sexy.
760
00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:53,308
Thanks.
761
00:40:58,857 --> 00:41:01,985
Hey, that's it, honey, slide in,
room for one more. Huh?
762
00:41:02,153 --> 00:41:04,279
Hey, Alexandra.
763
00:41:07,324 --> 00:41:08,491
You look really nice.
764
00:41:09,994 --> 00:41:12,037
Different from work.
765
00:41:12,289 --> 00:41:15,374
Do you two want to have a little hello kiss?
766
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,376
- Um, hello.
- That's it.
767
00:41:18,295 --> 00:41:19,378
Hi.
768
00:41:19,838 --> 00:41:20,880
Mmm, that's it.
769
00:41:21,173 --> 00:41:24,383
Did you guys like that dinner tonight?
770
00:41:25,552 --> 00:41:28,387
Did you go for the rice or the naan?
771
00:41:29,347 --> 00:41:30,514
I went for the naan.
772
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:32,016
Yeah? Mmm!
773
00:41:32,142 --> 00:41:34,018
You are so naughty.
774
00:41:34,352 --> 00:41:36,312
Why are you so naughty?
775
00:41:36,354 --> 00:41:39,649
I don't know, Charlie, why is that?
776
00:41:39,692 --> 00:41:42,027
Did your mom smoke during her pregnancy?
777
00:41:43,696 --> 00:41:45,530
Oh, okay.
778
00:41:46,157 --> 00:41:47,407
All right.
779
00:41:47,533 --> 00:41:49,659
That's it. Yeah, I like that.
780
00:41:50,328 --> 00:41:51,662
Threesome.
We're going to have a threesome.
781
00:41:51,705 --> 00:41:52,914
We're having a threesome.
782
00:41:53,749 --> 00:41:55,041
Let's go.
783
00:41:55,667 --> 00:41:58,211
- Chloe's climbing aboard.
- That's it.
784
00:41:58,921 --> 00:42:01,714
Here we go. Oh, yeah.
785
00:42:01,882 --> 00:42:04,175
Oh! Oh, yeah.
786
00:42:04,218 --> 00:42:05,927
Chloe's on top now.
787
00:42:06,053 --> 00:42:07,428
The cherry on top.
788
00:42:07,554 --> 00:42:08,888
Oh, yeah.
789
00:42:09,014 --> 00:42:11,432
Oh, yeah. Now she's on the bottom.
790
00:42:11,892 --> 00:42:14,269
Chloe loves being on bottom.
791
00:42:14,395 --> 00:42:15,395
Oh, yes.
792
00:42:15,855 --> 00:42:19,066
Yes, squeeze my breast.
That feels amazing.
793
00:42:19,192 --> 00:42:20,567
N�o para, Charlie.
794
00:42:21,069 --> 00:42:22,402
Yeah, Charlie,
795
00:42:22,529 --> 00:42:24,738
I can speak another language as well.
796
00:42:24,864 --> 00:42:26,532
Me Ilamo Chloe, Charlie.
797
00:42:27,784 --> 00:42:30,244
Yo tengo un hermano!
798
00:42:31,539 --> 00:42:32,914
- That's it.
- Okay.
799
00:42:32,957 --> 00:42:34,374
Okay. Yeah, that's it.
800
00:42:34,416 --> 00:42:35,959
Chloe's in the middle now.
801
00:42:36,961 --> 00:42:38,253
Okay.
802
00:42:38,379 --> 00:42:41,422
Oh, yes. It feels amazing, doesn't it?
803
00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:43,216
Feels so good.
804
00:42:46,971 --> 00:42:49,765
God, you're strong, Alexandra.
805
00:42:50,892 --> 00:42:51,892
Yes.
806
00:42:54,229 --> 00:42:55,229
Down here again.
807
00:42:56,273 --> 00:42:59,316
Oh, yeah, put your fingers in my mouth.
I love that.
808
00:43:00,610 --> 00:43:03,946
Especially after Indian. It's amazing.
809
00:43:04,406 --> 00:43:05,614
Excuse me.
810
00:43:05,949 --> 00:43:07,616
Excuse me. No!
811
00:43:08,326 --> 00:43:10,244
All right. Enough!
812
00:43:10,787 --> 00:43:12,497
I am leaving!
813
00:43:13,082 --> 00:43:15,083
You people, you're sick!
814
00:43:20,756 --> 00:43:22,132
I actually forgot my skirt.
815
00:43:22,258 --> 00:43:24,135
I'm sorry.
816
00:43:30,142 --> 00:43:32,643
Okay, thanks. Thanks, everybody.
817
00:43:33,979 --> 00:43:37,023
And FYI, you both still
have your underwear on.
818
00:44:16,523 --> 00:44:20,026
Hey, it's Chloe.
I really need to speak to you.
819
00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,369
- Hey.
- Hi, it's me.
820
00:44:30,037 --> 00:44:32,664
I demand you let me in. I've got coffee
821
00:44:32,707 --> 00:44:34,041
and a bag of those little sweets you like
822
00:44:34,167 --> 00:44:35,669
that look like mini fried eggs.
823
00:44:39,715 --> 00:44:43,093
It was humiliating, degrading.
824
00:44:45,012 --> 00:44:48,014
I don't even know how I got myself
into that position.
825
00:44:48,057 --> 00:44:50,433
I am not a threesome person.
826
00:44:51,352 --> 00:44:53,603
I don't know what bits to touch when.
827
00:44:53,729 --> 00:44:55,355
Listen, fuck him.
828
00:44:56,065 --> 00:44:57,565
If he doesn't realise how amazing you are,
829
00:44:57,692 --> 00:44:58,733
then he's an idiot.
830
00:45:00,027 --> 00:45:01,778
- He doesn't deserve you.
- Yeah, right.
831
00:45:01,904 --> 00:45:03,113
I mean, look at me.
832
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,365
I'm in a rented flat
833
00:45:05,408 --> 00:45:09,577
wearing a SpongeBob
SquarePants dressing gown,
834
00:45:09,620 --> 00:45:11,872
eating a mixture of animal fat and sugar
835
00:45:11,915 --> 00:45:14,209
made to look like a fried egg.
836
00:45:15,253 --> 00:45:16,253
I'm 32 years old.
837
00:45:16,629 --> 00:45:20,090
Yeah, and you've spent
your whole life doing things
838
00:45:20,216 --> 00:45:23,802
which make everybody else
look shallow, trivial and pointless.
839
00:45:24,470 --> 00:45:26,763
I think it's slightly more important
to be able to limit
840
00:45:26,806 --> 00:45:28,640
the spread of an epidemic
841
00:45:29,434 --> 00:45:31,393
than know how to conduct yourself
in a threesome.
842
00:45:33,062 --> 00:45:34,104
You do?
843
00:45:34,272 --> 00:45:37,315
I mean, for the purposes
of this conversation, sure.
844
00:45:43,948 --> 00:45:47,660
Honestly, I just want someone
to look after me for a change.
845
00:45:48,078 --> 00:45:49,245
Well, I'll look after you.
846
00:45:51,081 --> 00:45:52,123
You can't.
847
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,419
You've already got someone to look after.
848
00:46:07,599 --> 00:46:11,268
Listen, I'm completely all right.
849
00:46:12,479 --> 00:46:14,646
I promise not to end it all.
850
00:46:15,148 --> 00:46:17,941
I don't even own a razor. I wax.
851
00:46:18,943 --> 00:46:20,819
I think it's pretty hard
to wax yourself to death.
852
00:46:24,366 --> 00:46:26,534
You can leave. I'm okay.
853
00:46:26,660 --> 00:46:28,369
No, it's all right.
854
00:46:29,288 --> 00:46:31,956
I'm putting off my Christmas shopping.
855
00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:35,795
I'm trying to figure out what to buy Nat.
856
00:46:37,798 --> 00:46:39,173
What does she like?
857
00:46:39,966 --> 00:46:41,050
I've no idea.
858
00:46:42,677 --> 00:46:45,471
I was thinking casserole dishes, maybe.
859
00:46:46,723 --> 00:46:50,017
I simply cannot let you get your new wife
860
00:46:50,143 --> 00:46:51,811
- casserole dishes for Christmas.
- Why?
861
00:46:51,853 --> 00:46:53,020
I mean...
862
00:46:54,147 --> 00:46:55,856
- Let me help you out.
- A griddle pan.
863
00:46:55,982 --> 00:46:57,192
- No!
- A set of knives.
864
00:46:57,235 --> 00:46:59,820
Enough. I'm gonna go and get changed.
865
00:47:05,660 --> 00:47:06,910
Thanks, Josh.
866
00:47:07,537 --> 00:47:08,870
Ah, it's all right.
867
00:47:16,046 --> 00:47:17,880
Excuse me. Thank you.
868
00:47:21,635 --> 00:47:23,010
- Hey.
- Hello.
869
00:47:25,139 --> 00:47:27,014
- You okay?
- Mmm-hmm. Can I ask...
870
00:47:27,516 --> 00:47:28,850
why we're meeting in your hotel?
871
00:47:28,892 --> 00:47:30,810
You do know I'm not going
up to your room, don't you?
872
00:47:31,353 --> 00:47:34,523
Oh! No, of course not. Purely business.
873
00:47:34,732 --> 00:47:36,567
No sexual tension whatsoever.
874
00:47:36,651 --> 00:47:40,195
No undercurrent of erotic electricity
875
00:47:40,238 --> 00:47:43,240
between two ludicrously attractive
single people.
876
00:47:43,575 --> 00:47:45,993
None. Absolutely not.
877
00:47:46,411 --> 00:47:47,744
Good.
878
00:47:47,871 --> 00:47:49,746
It's your time you're paying for.
879
00:47:49,831 --> 00:47:52,374
So, we need to lock down
a date for the website.
880
00:47:52,417 --> 00:47:55,252
It's just there are some tiny kittens
up in my room
881
00:47:55,379 --> 00:47:57,881
playing adorably with a ball of wool.
882
00:47:58,257 --> 00:48:00,925
- If you're interested.
- Cat faeces makes you go blind.
883
00:48:01,051 --> 00:48:04,095
- I'm not going to your room.
- Okay. You win.
884
00:48:04,221 --> 00:48:08,684
We'll work and completely ignore the
palpable sizzle of sensual possibility
885
00:48:08,768 --> 00:48:10,853
every time our bodies accidentally touch.
886
00:48:13,273 --> 00:48:15,608
I've booked a boardroom down the hall.
887
00:48:16,443 --> 00:48:17,568
Shall we?
888
00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,904
Yeah, basically, I'm looking
for something for my wife.
889
00:48:19,946 --> 00:48:23,282
You know, pair of pants
and a brassiere, perhaps.
890
00:48:23,366 --> 00:48:27,119
Something that's long-lasting
and practical.
891
00:48:27,787 --> 00:48:29,788
Goodness, is that man-made fibre?
892
00:48:29,915 --> 00:48:32,541
Or is it, um, natural?
893
00:48:32,626 --> 00:48:35,461
Or is it a mixture of the two?
Because that's often the way these days.
894
00:48:35,587 --> 00:48:37,797
Helps with, um, durability and so on.
895
00:48:37,924 --> 00:48:39,466
I mean, that's a lovely bit of kit.
Look at that.
896
00:48:39,592 --> 00:48:41,259
That's a formidable gusset.
You could not break that.
897
00:48:41,302 --> 00:48:44,138
- Were you looking for a panty?
- Christ. Am I...
898
00:48:45,807 --> 00:48:46,891
A panty.
899
00:48:46,975 --> 00:48:48,643
Uh...
900
00:48:48,894 --> 00:48:50,561
He has trouble with
the word "panty", I think.
901
00:48:50,646 --> 00:48:53,397
No, I don't. "Panty."
I'm looking for a panty, mon ch�ri.
902
00:48:53,482 --> 00:48:56,275
A portion of your finest panties, milord.
903
00:48:57,277 --> 00:49:00,321
Right.
Um, perhaps I should just ask you.
904
00:49:00,447 --> 00:49:01,656
After all, you are standing right here.
905
00:49:03,450 --> 00:49:05,826
Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm not his wife.
906
00:49:06,119 --> 00:49:08,329
- No way.
- I'm just helping out,
907
00:49:08,455 --> 00:49:10,998
making sure he doesn't buy
his actual wife vouchers.
908
00:49:11,124 --> 00:49:12,250
Well, you can't actually go wrong with vouchers.
909
00:49:12,334 --> 00:49:14,001
Christ, is that really the price?
910
00:49:16,506 --> 00:49:18,590
I could buy half an 18-litre
dehumidifier for that.
911
00:49:18,675 --> 00:49:20,260
- Sir.
- Yes.
912
00:49:20,344 --> 00:49:22,262
We like to celebrate the erotic here.
913
00:49:22,346 --> 00:49:24,806
Celebrate.
"One-nil. Oy-oy! I scored a goal."
914
00:49:24,848 --> 00:49:26,683
- You don't need to be ashamed.
- I'm not ashamed of anything.
915
00:49:26,767 --> 00:49:28,685
- Embrace it.
- I'll embrace you.
916
00:49:28,769 --> 00:49:29,852
I didn't mean that, I'm really sorry.
917
00:49:30,688 --> 00:49:33,356
It's all right. Why don't you tell me...
918
00:49:33,691 --> 00:49:35,984
- Yeah?
...what turns you on?
919
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,697
Uh... What turns me on?
920
00:49:41,115 --> 00:49:42,699
I don't... What, really?
921
00:49:44,868 --> 00:49:47,120
I, uh, I like it...
I like it when she...
922
00:49:49,540 --> 00:49:53,626
dresses up like a policewoman, or estate agent.
923
00:49:55,130 --> 00:50:00,302
We haven't met,
and she forces me to do things to her
924
00:50:01,220 --> 00:50:03,722
that I would never normally do.
925
00:50:06,058 --> 00:50:07,976
- Right.
- Yeah.
926
00:50:09,061 --> 00:50:11,896
I was thinking more along the lines of lace.
927
00:50:11,981 --> 00:50:13,064
Were you?
928
00:50:13,190 --> 00:50:14,733
- Satin?
- Satin.
929
00:50:15,484 --> 00:50:16,484
Fishnets?
930
00:50:16,569 --> 00:50:20,238
Fishnets, the fish of the sea.
Fish of the sea. A trawlerman.
931
00:50:20,323 --> 00:50:23,908
I once saw a trawlerman.
932
00:50:24,744 --> 00:50:26,077
You must know the lucky lady.
933
00:50:26,746 --> 00:50:28,330
Any thoughts?
934
00:50:28,414 --> 00:50:30,415
You're as useless at all this sexy stuff
as I am, aren't you?
935
00:50:30,917 --> 00:50:34,086
You're happy with a thermal nightie,
a Stieg Larsson and a nice milky tea.
936
00:50:36,923 --> 00:50:40,927
I'm just gonna go have a browse.
Leave you to it.
937
00:50:42,764 --> 00:50:44,431
Oh, this is nice.
938
00:50:44,557 --> 00:50:46,767
They also have a wonderful restaurant.
939
00:50:46,851 --> 00:50:49,770
I wouldn't think of staying
anywhere else when I'm in London.
940
00:50:50,229 --> 00:50:56,443
So, what is our strategy
when it comes to online awareness?
941
00:50:56,861 --> 00:51:00,447
So, the idea is to drive the consumer
to the site through...
942
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:05,118
Oysters?
943
00:51:06,205 --> 00:51:07,288
Seriously, Guy.
944
00:51:07,956 --> 00:51:10,583
They must have run out of Highland shortbread.
945
00:51:11,752 --> 00:51:14,962
To drive consumers to the site
through a unified multiplatform...
946
00:51:18,259 --> 00:51:21,136
A unified multiplatform approach,
accessible with...
947
00:51:25,100 --> 00:51:27,810
Yes, go on. Platforms, that was good.
948
00:51:28,311 --> 00:51:33,148
Well, traditional media
should not be ignored, either.
949
00:51:34,109 --> 00:51:36,235
Doves? Really?
950
00:51:36,986 --> 00:51:38,821
I think you're amazing, Nat.
951
00:51:38,947 --> 00:51:41,615
I know it's unprofessional and clich�, but...
952
00:51:41,659 --> 00:51:43,243
I'm married.
953
00:51:43,953 --> 00:51:45,495
What?
954
00:51:46,288 --> 00:51:48,331
I'm married. I have a husband.
955
00:51:51,252 --> 00:51:54,170
How can you?
Why didn't you say something?
956
00:51:54,296 --> 00:51:56,464
For all this time, you didn't think to tell me?
957
00:51:56,507 --> 00:52:00,261
I didn't say anything because
I thought we'd get the account if...
958
00:52:01,513 --> 00:52:03,305
if I flirted with you.
959
00:52:03,348 --> 00:52:06,851
And then I liked flirting with you
too much for any of this to stop.
960
00:52:06,977 --> 00:52:09,854
Well, this wouldn't be happening
if you were happy with your husband.
961
00:52:10,647 --> 00:52:12,022
What am I supposed to say?
962
00:52:12,649 --> 00:52:15,860
I can't leave him, he'd be destroyed.
Look, I'm really sorry,
963
00:52:15,986 --> 00:52:18,363
but that dove's getting
awfully close to the ceiling fan.
964
00:52:19,157 --> 00:52:20,866
Who is this guy? Do you have children?
965
00:52:21,451 --> 00:52:23,994
- How long have you been married?
- Look, that's irrelevant. He's...
966
00:52:24,036 --> 00:52:25,871
He's dependable and...
967
00:52:28,207 --> 00:52:29,541
...and he's kind and safe,
968
00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:32,127
and I can't throw that all away for you.
969
00:52:32,211 --> 00:52:34,671
I mean, you're charming and twinkly.
970
00:52:36,299 --> 00:52:39,135
Look, you're a Ferrari and he's a Volvo,
and right now...
971
00:52:41,805 --> 00:52:43,389
I just need to be behind the wheel of a Volvo.
972
00:52:43,849 --> 00:52:45,558
I need...
973
00:52:48,187 --> 00:52:49,395
I need reliability
974
00:52:49,813 --> 00:52:54,026
and to be able to get from A to B
safe and unhurt.
975
00:52:54,319 --> 00:52:55,402
Oh! God!
976
00:52:55,737 --> 00:52:57,237
Dove down, dove down!
977
00:52:57,363 --> 00:52:59,990
It's okay, I think it's just stunned.
Can you...
978
00:53:00,074 --> 00:53:02,034
- Do you want me to stop now?
- Yes.
979
00:53:02,076 --> 00:53:04,161
Listen, Nat. I'm not giving up.
980
00:53:04,412 --> 00:53:06,580
From the minute I met you
I've thought of nothing else.
981
00:53:06,664 --> 00:53:10,083
Do you think I care if our logo
has a drop shadow or is italicised? No.
982
00:53:10,418 --> 00:53:12,836
I'm looking for excuses to see you.
983
00:53:12,921 --> 00:53:14,087
Come on.
984
00:53:14,172 --> 00:53:16,089
And I'm not twinkly.
985
00:53:16,716 --> 00:53:18,342
I don't twinkle with anyone else.
986
00:53:19,595 --> 00:53:21,596
You make me twinkly.
987
00:53:24,099 --> 00:53:26,017
Ugh! God!
988
00:53:26,101 --> 00:53:28,437
That's supposed to be lucky.
989
00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:31,398
Look, as might be evident, I've never
done this kind of thing before,
990
00:53:31,441 --> 00:53:35,528
but I would regret it forever
if I didn't try everything I could.
991
00:53:36,029 --> 00:53:39,907
Married or not, I need to be with you, Nat.
992
00:53:42,744 --> 00:53:44,537
Mind... Mind, um... Sorry.
993
00:53:45,121 --> 00:53:48,082
I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
994
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,377
Sorry.
995
00:53:58,260 --> 00:54:01,221
Perhaps in hindsight
you shouldn't have gone with the doves.
996
00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:02,806
Thanks.
997
00:54:05,602 --> 00:54:07,436
- You like those, sir?
- Uh, yeah.
998
00:54:07,646 --> 00:54:10,982
Crotchless. Interesting, lovely, yeah.
Do you get much of a call for those?
999
00:54:11,108 --> 00:54:12,984
- Shit.
- Everything all right in there?
1000
00:54:13,110 --> 00:54:15,570
Yeah, I just...
I think this hook is caught.
1001
00:54:15,654 --> 00:54:17,488
Yeah, I got it.
Uh, yeah, I have to admit
1002
00:54:17,656 --> 00:54:20,575
I'm not very good with
buttons or zips or that sort of thing.
1003
00:54:20,659 --> 00:54:22,910
Usually I... Holy fucking shit.
1004
00:54:24,913 --> 00:54:26,163
I mean, who needs a dehumidifier, right?
1005
00:54:26,832 --> 00:54:30,585
Sure, I get a bit of condensation on my
bedroom window sometimes, but it's fine.
1006
00:54:31,003 --> 00:54:33,629
- Will you just close the...
- Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry.
1007
00:54:34,172 --> 00:54:36,340
- Um...
- Look, were they always like that?
1008
00:54:36,466 --> 00:54:38,968
'Cause, I mean, they're unbelievable.
1009
00:54:39,011 --> 00:54:43,683
I just thought that
I would try something unpractical.
1010
00:54:45,352 --> 00:54:49,480
Do you think that Nat
would like something like this, or...
1011
00:54:49,523 --> 00:54:51,107
Nat?
1012
00:54:51,191 --> 00:54:54,694
Oh, of course.
Yeah, she'd look really nice.
1013
00:54:56,363 --> 00:54:58,156
She'd look good.
1014
00:54:58,198 --> 00:54:59,532
Um...
1015
00:54:59,867 --> 00:55:01,451
Yeah, but I think maybe the...
1016
00:55:01,535 --> 00:55:02,952
- I don't know if it's...
- What is it?
1017
00:55:03,037 --> 00:55:05,204
I don't know if it's caught on the tag.
1018
00:55:06,206 --> 00:55:07,373
I don't know what I did.
1019
00:55:07,458 --> 00:55:09,500
Your hair's in the way, I'm just gonna...
1020
00:55:18,053 --> 00:55:20,554
You know those, um,
1021
00:55:21,057 --> 00:55:24,225
strips that they put in pants...
1022
00:55:25,227 --> 00:55:27,228
if you want to try them on?
1023
00:55:28,648 --> 00:55:32,233
Do you think that's to prevent
against gonorrhoea or chlamydia?
1024
00:55:33,903 --> 00:55:36,696
That's the one these days, Chlamydia.
That's...
1025
00:55:36,739 --> 00:55:39,240
Or so I've... so I've read.
1026
00:55:55,926 --> 00:55:58,094
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
1027
00:55:58,178 --> 00:56:01,515
No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
1028
00:56:01,599 --> 00:56:04,184
Excuse me, sir, will you be paying for that?
1029
00:56:06,270 --> 00:56:07,938
Christ, I expect so.
1030
00:56:08,356 --> 00:56:09,439
I'm sorry.
1031
00:56:09,565 --> 00:56:11,942
I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know
how I feel about you
1032
00:56:12,026 --> 00:56:15,320
- and I don't want to let you slip away.
- It's very complicated.
1033
00:56:15,446 --> 00:56:17,614
- Chloe, that was really bad.
- I know.
1034
00:56:17,699 --> 00:56:20,534
I mean, not the kiss or the visuals,
that was lovely,
1035
00:56:20,785 --> 00:56:22,911
- but I'm married.
- I know.
1036
00:56:23,121 --> 00:56:25,288
Oh, great, it's goddamn Beyonc�.
1037
00:56:25,540 --> 00:56:28,042
What?! Fuck!
1038
00:56:28,127 --> 00:56:30,461
- Beyonc� is my husband!
- What?
1039
00:56:30,546 --> 00:56:32,213
Beyonc� is my husband!
1040
00:56:32,798 --> 00:56:33,965
- Beyonc� is Josh.
- Him?
1041
00:56:34,091 --> 00:56:35,466
Yes.
1042
00:56:36,093 --> 00:56:37,385
Nat!
1043
00:56:38,554 --> 00:56:40,304
- Hello, darling!
- How weird!
1044
00:56:40,472 --> 00:56:42,474
- What a treat.
- How are you?
1045
00:56:43,143 --> 00:56:44,893
- Hi, Chloe.
- Hi.
1046
00:56:45,145 --> 00:56:47,604
- Guy, right?
- Yeah. Josh?
1047
00:56:47,647 --> 00:56:48,981
Yeah, that's right. Nice to see you.
1048
00:56:49,107 --> 00:56:52,317
Guy, this is Chloe.
She's a wonderful, uh...
1049
00:56:52,485 --> 00:56:53,652
charity worker.
1050
00:56:53,737 --> 00:56:55,154
- Hi.
- Hi.
1051
00:56:55,321 --> 00:56:57,114
Yeah, we were just doing
some Christmas shopping.
1052
00:56:57,157 --> 00:56:58,490
We were just having a meeting around the corner.
1053
00:56:58,616 --> 00:56:59,950
- Oh, were you?
- Yeah.
1054
00:56:59,993 --> 00:57:02,328
- Nice.
- Yeah.
1055
00:57:04,331 --> 00:57:06,750
- Did you have fun last night?
- Oh, it was awesome, awesome.
1056
00:57:06,834 --> 00:57:10,003
Did you manage to get lucky with the ladies?
1057
00:57:10,629 --> 00:57:14,007
No. Actually,
the girl I had my eye on blew me off.
1058
00:57:14,175 --> 00:57:16,426
I ended up alone in the hotel
with a mini sleeve of Pringles
1059
00:57:16,510 --> 00:57:18,470
watching Malaysian golf on Eurosport.
1060
00:57:18,512 --> 00:57:20,930
That's hilarious.
1061
00:57:25,937 --> 00:57:28,022
I find that incredibly difficult to believe.
1062
00:57:28,190 --> 00:57:29,315
Well, it's true, it's true.
1063
00:57:29,441 --> 00:57:30,941
What, a man as good-looking as you?
1064
00:57:31,026 --> 00:57:35,821
Fabulous face, amazing hair, wonderful teeth.
1065
00:57:35,864 --> 00:57:37,866
- A real hunk of spunk.
- Thank you.
1066
00:57:37,950 --> 00:57:41,328
Amazing skin, that's what...
Hasn't he got incredible skin?
1067
00:57:42,205 --> 00:57:44,164
- You do.
- Thank you.
1068
00:57:44,207 --> 00:57:45,874
It's inspirational.
1069
00:57:47,168 --> 00:57:49,002
Chloe's single. Aren't you?
1070
00:57:50,046 --> 00:57:51,630
And she's American.
1071
00:57:51,714 --> 00:57:53,882
- And you're... you could...
- ... ride the subway
1072
00:57:54,008 --> 00:57:56,551
and have a malt at the Five and Dime.
1073
00:57:56,677 --> 00:57:57,803
If that takes your fancy.
1074
00:57:59,013 --> 00:58:00,722
If you want to.
1075
00:58:00,848 --> 00:58:02,891
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1076
00:58:03,017 --> 00:58:04,727
Poor Chloe could probably think
of nothing worse,
1077
00:58:05,062 --> 00:58:07,063
but maybe if we all went out together sometime,
1078
00:58:07,189 --> 00:58:09,732
- that could be cool.
- Ooh!
1079
00:58:10,067 --> 00:58:12,568
You could set that up,
couldn't you, Nat? Is that all right?
1080
00:58:12,653 --> 00:58:16,907
Yes, yes, absolutely.
I will organise it. I'll organise it.
1081
00:58:16,991 --> 00:58:18,075
Awesome.
1082
00:58:18,159 --> 00:58:19,326
- Great.
- Okay.
1083
00:58:19,410 --> 00:58:21,078
- Dinner after Christmas.
- Dinner.
1084
00:58:21,204 --> 00:58:23,247
Yeah, sarsaparilla and hot dogs all round.
1085
00:58:23,581 --> 00:58:25,749
- Very nice to meet you.
- You, too. You, too.
1086
00:58:28,670 --> 00:58:33,257
Things really hit a low point around Christmas.
1087
00:58:33,842 --> 00:58:36,426
His family's so weird.
1088
00:58:37,762 --> 00:58:39,930
- That's not nice.
- They are. Come on.
1089
00:58:40,348 --> 00:58:44,269
I caught your mother googling,
"Can cat urine be used as fertiliser?"
1090
00:58:44,353 --> 00:58:46,938
She's got lots of cat urine.
She might as well use it.
1091
00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:49,733
Why the fuck has she got lots of cat urine?
1092
00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:52,695
Hey! Merry Christmas!
1093
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:55,030
At least my family are friendly.
1094
00:58:55,115 --> 00:58:57,616
- Nat!
- Hi, Mum. You all right?
1095
00:58:58,201 --> 00:59:00,870
You didn't exactly endear yourself
with the charades debacle.
1096
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:03,455
Here we go.
1097
00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:07,751
- Play.
- Television.
1098
00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:11,714
Four words. First word.
1099
00:59:12,424 --> 00:59:14,466
- Unconscious.
- Dead.
1100
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:17,636
- Tapping. Computer.
- Hanging. Vera Duck.
1101
00:59:17,762 --> 00:59:19,138
- Letters.
- Braille.
1102
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,098
- Red.
- Impotent! Thick!
1103
00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:22,433
- Stupid.
- Man.
1104
00:59:22,475 --> 00:59:23,559
- Effeminate.
- Husband?
1105
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,146
- Annoying idiot.
- Father?
1106
00:59:25,272 --> 00:59:27,481
Disappointment. Shame. Regret.
1107
00:59:27,566 --> 00:59:28,649
- Profession.
- Lazy.
1108
00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:30,776
Doctor. "Doctor," thank you.
1109
00:59:30,819 --> 00:59:33,487
"Doctor" is not the first thing
you think of when you look at him.
1110
00:59:33,614 --> 00:59:35,573
- Four words. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde!
- Doctor Zhivago.
1111
00:59:35,657 --> 00:59:37,783
Quick, quick, quick, you've got a minute!
1112
00:59:37,826 --> 00:59:39,118
Go, go, go!
1113
00:59:39,161 --> 00:59:41,913
- Second word.
- Sounds like... sister.
1114
00:59:42,497 --> 00:59:44,165
- Nat.
- Fit. Sexy.
1115
00:59:44,249 --> 00:59:46,459
- Young girl?
- Wife. Uh, woman.
1116
00:59:46,793 --> 00:59:49,337
Nat, bat, sat, rat, cat, hat.
1117
00:59:49,421 --> 00:59:51,339
Wife. Beautiful. Uh... The splits!
1118
00:59:51,465 --> 00:59:53,132
- Cellist!
- Cello!
1119
00:59:53,175 --> 00:59:55,843
- Hilary and Jackie.
- Family. Family.
1120
00:59:56,511 --> 00:59:57,845
- What are you...
- Barren.
1121
00:59:57,971 --> 01:00:00,974
Baron M�nchhausen! Sorry, no. Um...
1122
01:00:02,936 --> 01:00:04,603
Um...
1123
01:00:06,106 --> 01:00:07,273
Vagina.
1124
01:00:08,108 --> 01:00:11,527
Pussy. Minge. Twat. Foo-foo.
1125
01:00:11,779 --> 01:00:14,322
Clunge. Uh, growler.
1126
01:00:14,365 --> 01:00:15,448
Quim.
1127
01:00:15,532 --> 01:00:17,700
Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim!
1128
01:00:17,785 --> 01:00:19,369
Dr Quim and his Casebooks!
1129
01:00:19,787 --> 01:00:21,871
- Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.
- That's it.
1130
01:00:23,290 --> 01:00:24,958
- Get away from me.
- What?
1131
01:00:26,043 --> 01:00:27,710
You all right, Mother?
1132
01:00:27,836 --> 01:00:29,128
What else rhymes with "Quinn"?
1133
01:00:29,797 --> 01:00:31,005
Sounds like "chin"?
1134
01:00:31,882 --> 01:00:33,466
Sounds like "bin".
1135
01:00:33,550 --> 01:00:35,134
Yeah, all right, bloody Lionel Blair.
1136
01:00:35,386 --> 01:00:37,054
Look, I was tired.
1137
01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:39,515
I'd hardly slept, I wasn't thinking straight
1138
01:00:39,557 --> 01:00:42,226
because your evil stepdad
had put me in that bedroom.
1139
01:00:42,352 --> 01:00:44,561
Just to punish me.
1140
01:00:44,729 --> 01:00:47,399
I would argue that you got
a better night's sleep
1141
01:00:47,525 --> 01:00:49,859
than I did at your parents' house.
1142
01:00:49,902 --> 01:00:50,902
- Oh, Brian!
- Elaine!
1143
01:00:51,028 --> 01:00:53,029
Oh, Brian, you know just what I like!
1144
01:00:53,072 --> 01:00:55,240
- Tits or face? Tits or face?
- Tits.
1145
01:00:56,867 --> 01:00:57,909
Wrong answer!
1146
01:00:57,994 --> 01:01:00,996
- Oh, Brian! Oh, my God.
- Sorry, darling.
1147
01:01:01,414 --> 01:01:02,747
Yeah, well, your parents made it perfectly clear
1148
01:01:02,873 --> 01:01:03,873
what they thought of me.
1149
01:01:04,667 --> 01:01:06,876
- What have you got?
- Fantastic!
1150
01:01:06,919 --> 01:01:09,587
- Digital photo frame.
- Wonderful!
1151
01:01:09,714 --> 01:01:11,757
You just put a memory stick in
and it makes a slide show.
1152
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,759
We've got our camera on us,
we'll have to try it out later.
1153
01:01:13,802 --> 01:01:15,803
That is fabulous. "ReKapture."
1154
01:01:15,929 --> 01:01:17,722
My go? Thank you. Who's this from?
1155
01:01:17,764 --> 01:01:19,056
Mum and Dad!
1156
01:01:19,599 --> 01:01:21,100
Cracking.
1157
01:01:24,438 --> 01:01:26,231
How to be a Successful Writer.
1158
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:29,151
And, um, Stop Wasting Your Life.
1159
01:01:31,112 --> 01:01:32,779
- Good idea.
- Unbelievable.
1160
01:01:32,822 --> 01:01:34,906
- My family hate him...
- They hate me.
1161
01:01:35,116 --> 01:01:36,783
...his family get under my skin,
1162
01:01:36,909 --> 01:01:39,619
and, at a time when we should have
felt happy and close,
1163
01:01:40,163 --> 01:01:41,496
I couldn't have felt more distant.
1164
01:01:44,375 --> 01:01:46,501
Explain again what your book's about.
1165
01:01:46,587 --> 01:01:50,631
Well, my hero is a young
history professor called Ezra
1166
01:01:50,758 --> 01:01:53,718
who, with the help of
a young American aid worker,
1167
01:01:53,802 --> 01:01:57,805
discovers this man in Borneo
who claims to be Muhammad.
1168
01:01:59,058 --> 01:02:02,977
So it's a meditation, really,
on the veracity and origins of faith.
1169
01:02:03,062 --> 01:02:05,271
If he ever gets round to finishing it.
1170
01:02:05,397 --> 01:02:07,107
Oi!
1171
01:02:07,984 --> 01:02:09,485
Another drink, Josh?
1172
01:02:09,611 --> 01:02:10,903
Oh, that'd be lovely, thank you.
1173
01:02:22,625 --> 01:02:24,959
Oh, that's gorgeous.
1174
01:02:26,003 --> 01:02:28,338
- Ice?
- Uh, yes, please.
1175
01:02:29,006 --> 01:02:30,256
Mmm.
1176
01:02:30,341 --> 01:02:32,342
That's sweet.
1177
01:02:34,637 --> 01:02:36,304
Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?
1178
01:02:36,347 --> 01:02:37,931
- No, thank you, I'm fine.
- I have to help!
1179
01:02:38,015 --> 01:02:39,349
Oh!
1180
01:02:40,142 --> 01:02:41,267
Mince pie, Alec?
1181
01:02:42,478 --> 01:02:44,020
- No, thank you.
- Are you sure?
1182
01:02:44,146 --> 01:02:45,438
Why are you standing like that?
1183
01:02:45,523 --> 01:02:46,816
Just offering Alec a mince pie.
1184
01:02:46,858 --> 01:02:48,109
He doesn't want a mince pie.
1185
01:02:48,193 --> 01:02:49,819
- You don't... You don't?
- No.
1186
01:02:51,363 --> 01:02:52,780
Just stand up.
1187
01:02:54,491 --> 01:02:57,034
That's that market we went to in Taroudant.
1188
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:58,954
- Let me see, darling.
- Yes.
1189
01:02:59,038 --> 01:03:01,331
Um, it was gorgeous,
they had the most incredible figs.
1190
01:03:01,374 --> 01:03:03,375
I'm sure nobody wants to hear about the figs.
1191
01:03:03,459 --> 01:03:05,168
Because it wasn't very...
Look at the cat!
1192
01:03:05,211 --> 01:03:06,628
Fucking little cocksucker.
1193
01:03:07,380 --> 01:03:08,547
Give this back to me.
1194
01:03:09,382 --> 01:03:10,674
Give it!
1195
01:03:11,968 --> 01:03:13,385
Just sit down.
1196
01:03:15,179 --> 01:03:16,388
Goodness me.
1197
01:03:16,514 --> 01:03:18,682
- Is it still working?
- Yes.
1198
01:03:18,724 --> 01:03:23,353
This is the town square. They had
snake charmers and performing monkeys.
1199
01:03:23,479 --> 01:03:25,188
Oh! That looks so magical.
1200
01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:27,692
Me with a monkey.
1201
01:03:27,860 --> 01:03:29,569
Darling, you look so sweet.
1202
01:03:30,571 --> 01:03:33,239
Oh! Me trying on those slippers.
They were very pretty.
1203
01:03:33,323 --> 01:03:34,741
They look it.
1204
01:03:35,577 --> 01:03:36,660
Us having cocktails.
1205
01:03:36,744 --> 01:03:38,829
There was a beautiful bar
at the top of the hotel.
1206
01:03:38,913 --> 01:03:40,414
We'd go there every evening.
1207
01:03:40,832 --> 01:03:42,875
Us having more cocktails.
1208
01:04:08,277 --> 01:04:09,778
It was a junior suite.
1209
01:04:09,905 --> 01:04:12,281
Uh... Not terribly expensive.
1210
01:04:13,116 --> 01:04:16,577
Lovely view of the orchards.
In fact, you can... If you just...
1211
01:04:16,786 --> 01:04:19,747
You can just see in the
background there, the... Phwoar.
1212
01:04:21,750 --> 01:04:23,584
That's doggy style.
1213
01:04:24,669 --> 01:04:26,587
Nat's favourite. Isn't it, Nat?
1214
01:04:36,014 --> 01:04:37,806
Why don't I drive?
1215
01:04:38,350 --> 01:04:39,683
You drive like you've got a vagina.
1216
01:04:39,768 --> 01:04:42,645
You could do.
Or I could glue myself to a deckchair
1217
01:04:42,729 --> 01:04:44,188
and you could kick me down a stairwell.
1218
01:04:44,272 --> 01:04:47,025
Both about as enjoyable.
Both about as likely to happen.
1219
01:04:47,610 --> 01:04:49,820
Why do you do it?
1220
01:04:49,905 --> 01:04:52,365
Why are you still together?
You hate each other.
1221
01:04:52,449 --> 01:04:55,201
Of course we do, but that's marriage.
1222
01:04:56,203 --> 01:04:58,204
I mean, you embrace the hatred.
1223
01:04:59,289 --> 01:05:01,165
And I married a man who wears driving gloves.
1224
01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:02,541
Actually helps you get purchase.
1225
01:05:02,626 --> 01:05:04,710
Don't say "purchase".
1226
01:05:04,962 --> 01:05:08,589
But how do you know that the hate
won't outweigh the love?
1227
01:05:08,674 --> 01:05:11,175
How do you know there's not
someone better out there for you?
1228
01:05:11,260 --> 01:05:13,761
Well, Christ, there is.
Of course there is.
1229
01:05:14,680 --> 01:05:16,639
But marriage is about living
with the imperfections, isn't it?
1230
01:05:16,723 --> 01:05:18,766
I mean, look at that stupid ginger face.
1231
01:05:19,810 --> 01:05:21,728
It's true. I'd miss her.
1232
01:05:21,813 --> 01:05:23,605
Look at those beautiful eyes, big warm heart.
1233
01:05:23,690 --> 01:05:25,732
You know, she hasn't aged a day since I met her.
1234
01:05:25,817 --> 01:05:29,779
And as you get to know each other more,
well, you love each other more.
1235
01:05:30,114 --> 01:05:31,823
No, don't you try and kiss me.
1236
01:05:36,620 --> 01:05:38,371
- Did you forget something?
- Yeah.
1237
01:05:39,581 --> 01:05:41,916
- We're gonna hit traffic, you know.
- Yeah, you will.
1238
01:05:45,629 --> 01:05:46,713
Tonight should be interesting.
1239
01:05:46,797 --> 01:05:48,965
They could be really right for each other.
1240
01:05:49,049 --> 01:05:51,926
Because Chloe's so sweet,
and Guy seems all right.
1241
01:05:52,011 --> 01:05:54,387
What do you think? What about that?
1242
01:05:54,513 --> 01:05:55,848
No?
1243
01:05:56,224 --> 01:05:57,474
Yeah.
1244
01:05:57,559 --> 01:06:01,270
Chloe's lovely.
I don't know how you let her slip away.
1245
01:06:01,604 --> 01:06:03,355
What, Chloe? No!
1246
01:06:04,357 --> 01:06:06,775
She's too nice. She's too perfect.
1247
01:06:06,860 --> 01:06:08,986
A little of Chloe goes a long way.
1248
01:06:09,070 --> 01:06:10,780
Yeah, I mean, she can be kind of grating.
1249
01:06:10,865 --> 01:06:13,742
Totally. This one? Rugby?
1250
01:06:14,910 --> 01:06:15,994
No?
1251
01:06:16,579 --> 01:06:19,831
But Guy, I mean, he's quite a catch.
He's just your type, really.
1252
01:06:19,915 --> 01:06:23,418
No, he's too slick for his own good.
1253
01:06:23,961 --> 01:06:25,337
Bit too American.
1254
01:06:26,088 --> 01:06:28,048
You're my type.
I don't really go for good-looking.
1255
01:06:28,674 --> 01:06:30,008
Oh.
1256
01:06:34,556 --> 01:06:38,017
Hi. Great to see you.
You're looking very sexy.
1257
01:06:38,101 --> 01:06:39,352
And, Nat, you look good, too.
1258
01:06:43,982 --> 01:06:45,191
Uh, you two pop yourselves down.
1259
01:06:45,275 --> 01:06:46,567
I'm gonna nip off to the little boys' room.
1260
01:06:46,651 --> 01:06:49,153
See if I can find myself some little boys.
1261
01:06:49,237 --> 01:06:51,490
Obviously not.
Just gonna go for a quick wee.
1262
01:06:51,574 --> 01:06:52,616
Not the other.
1263
01:06:54,952 --> 01:06:56,745
Sorry about that.
1264
01:07:03,628 --> 01:07:05,712
So, is tonight not a bit weird?
1265
01:07:05,797 --> 01:07:08,049
Do you promise not to get insanely jealous?
1266
01:07:09,802 --> 01:07:11,135
Honestly.
1267
01:07:12,096 --> 01:07:15,348
Chloe is fantastic. You'll love her.
1268
01:07:16,016 --> 01:07:20,520
She's the best. The best!
She's so kind. Wonderfully kind.
1269
01:07:20,604 --> 01:07:22,939
- Mmm. Mmm.
- And pretty. She's very pretty.
1270
01:07:23,023 --> 01:07:25,983
Definitely, she's so pretty.
Hundred percent.
1271
01:07:31,282 --> 01:07:32,783
Hey, Chloe, you're here.
1272
01:07:32,867 --> 01:07:35,869
Yeah. Look, if this is weird, I can go.
1273
01:07:35,995 --> 01:07:39,206
It's just that, you know, you set it up
and you didn't seem to mind.
1274
01:07:39,290 --> 01:07:40,999
No, I don't mind, it's not weird.
Why would I find it weird?
1275
01:07:41,084 --> 01:07:44,129
Listen, the bloke's a bit of a twat,
but you might like him.
1276
01:07:44,672 --> 01:07:46,798
Oh, yeah! I love a twat.
1277
01:07:46,882 --> 01:07:48,925
Single girl, looking for a guy.
1278
01:07:49,009 --> 01:07:51,302
No non-twats considered.
1279
01:07:51,387 --> 01:07:52,637
Oh, shit. Okay, they've seen us.
1280
01:07:53,973 --> 01:07:55,807
Let's go do this.
1281
01:07:55,891 --> 01:08:00,061
Okay, final game.
It's Brits one, Yanks one.
1282
01:08:00,146 --> 01:08:02,981
We owe this to our great nation
to win this, Chloe.
1283
01:08:03,065 --> 01:08:04,315
- Let's do it.
- Yes, sir!
1284
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:06,818
Just look at us. We're all getting on
like a house on fire.
1285
01:08:06,902 --> 01:08:08,653
I've never really understood that phrase.
1286
01:08:08,737 --> 01:08:09,779
Exactly why is it good
1287
01:08:09,864 --> 01:08:12,741
to get on like a house on fire? I mean,
there might be small kids left inside.
1288
01:08:12,826 --> 01:08:13,909
- Think of them.
- I know!
1289
01:08:13,994 --> 01:08:16,495
And the possibility of asphyxiation...
1290
01:08:16,580 --> 01:08:18,623
Or at the very least,
the loss of any no-claims bonus.
1291
01:08:20,001 --> 01:08:21,334
It's just a metaphor.
1292
01:08:21,419 --> 01:08:23,879
It means something that's
uncontrollable, has momentum.
1293
01:08:24,005 --> 01:08:25,964
Exactly. So, tell me this.
1294
01:08:26,048 --> 01:08:28,383
What would be the first thing
you'd save in a fire? Let me guess.
1295
01:08:28,885 --> 01:08:30,635
- Jimmy Choos.
- Your wedding ring.
1296
01:08:32,430 --> 01:08:34,306
Well, obviously my wedding ring.
1297
01:08:34,390 --> 01:08:36,808
But I've got two hands, haven't I?
1298
01:08:36,893 --> 01:08:38,393
She does love that ring.
1299
01:08:38,978 --> 01:08:41,563
The first thing I noticed about you.
Wasn't it?
1300
01:08:59,375 --> 01:09:00,417
Sorry, Nat. Excuse me.
1301
01:09:07,008 --> 01:09:08,050
Fuck off.
1302
01:09:09,302 --> 01:09:10,636
Yeah, that's too bad.
1303
01:09:11,095 --> 01:09:13,222
I'd probably rescue that necklace that I got you
1304
01:09:13,306 --> 01:09:15,098
when we got engaged in Venice.
1305
01:09:15,183 --> 01:09:17,309
That's sweet. It's beautiful.
1306
01:09:19,312 --> 01:09:20,854
How about you, Chloe?
1307
01:09:20,980 --> 01:09:23,649
I'm guessing something sentimental, emotional?
1308
01:09:24,484 --> 01:09:25,526
Um...
1309
01:09:25,610 --> 01:09:27,402
- It's your shot, Guy.
- Sorry?
1310
01:09:27,487 --> 01:09:30,240
- It's your shot, mate.
- Sorry.
1311
01:09:30,324 --> 01:09:32,576
You wouldn't really head for the shoes,
though, would you, Chloe?
1312
01:09:32,661 --> 01:09:34,328
Fashion's not really your thing.
1313
01:09:34,621 --> 01:09:36,664
Why would it be?
I mean, look at her.
1314
01:09:36,790 --> 01:09:37,998
She'd make anything look fantastic.
1315
01:09:39,501 --> 01:09:42,169
- She'd make a sack look incredible.
- Thanks.
1316
01:09:42,254 --> 01:09:43,379
Good shot.
1317
01:09:43,463 --> 01:09:46,632
Yeah, it's like, what's the opposite of,
"You cannot polish a turd"?
1318
01:09:46,925 --> 01:09:48,634
She's an already polished turd.
1319
01:09:48,927 --> 01:09:51,512
She's a turd buffed to a high sheen.
1320
01:09:52,430 --> 01:09:53,681
Thanks.
1321
01:09:54,224 --> 01:09:55,266
Unlucky, pal.
1322
01:09:55,350 --> 01:09:56,767
Yeah, honestly, if the stuff burnt up,
1323
01:09:56,851 --> 01:09:59,687
I think I'd just view it
as a chance to start over,
1324
01:09:59,771 --> 01:10:04,149
you know, have a new adventure. I'm not
too bothered by material possessions.
1325
01:10:04,234 --> 01:10:06,695
All right, come down on it a bit.
1326
01:10:07,113 --> 01:10:08,530
Come on.
1327
01:10:08,614 --> 01:10:10,323
And use your arm to go back and forth with it
1328
01:10:10,408 --> 01:10:11,658
so you really get a nice pumping action.
1329
01:10:12,285 --> 01:10:13,411
Then go through the ball,
1330
01:10:13,495 --> 01:10:15,454
and you want to hit it on the edge there.
1331
01:10:15,539 --> 01:10:17,290
Ah, ah, ah! If you put the cue
1332
01:10:17,541 --> 01:10:19,083
between your thumb and your first finger,
1333
01:10:19,167 --> 01:10:21,294
you'll find it easier to get...
That's it.
1334
01:10:21,336 --> 01:10:24,297
Now get this moving before you take the shot.
1335
01:10:24,381 --> 01:10:25,381
Come down a bit lower on it.
1336
01:10:26,133 --> 01:10:28,175
Don't take the...
Come on, not that low.
1337
01:10:29,011 --> 01:10:32,305
That's it.
Now play through the ball, and breathe.
1338
01:10:34,391 --> 01:10:35,683
There's no point, is there?
1339
01:10:35,767 --> 01:10:38,352
If we're not gonna do it properly,
it's like, what's the point?
1340
01:10:38,437 --> 01:10:39,812
- There's no point in playing, is there?
- Nice try.
1341
01:10:39,896 --> 01:10:41,690
Oh, I think it's my shot.
1342
01:10:41,774 --> 01:10:43,150
I think Chloe's right.
1343
01:10:43,234 --> 01:10:47,487
I mean, nice things is great,
but ultimately, so what?
1344
01:10:47,572 --> 01:10:49,573
As long as the people you love are safe.
1345
01:10:50,491 --> 01:10:51,742
That's it. You got that?
1346
01:10:52,869 --> 01:10:54,078
Good shot, Chloe.
1347
01:10:54,163 --> 01:10:55,580
Did you see that?
1348
01:10:55,664 --> 01:10:57,457
That was... Wow!
1349
01:10:57,541 --> 01:10:59,792
I can't believe it. Oh!
1350
01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:03,004
- It'll never happen again.
- Oh, it will. Be positive.
1351
01:11:03,088 --> 01:11:05,673
No. Once in a lifetime.
1352
01:11:06,508 --> 01:11:09,010
It's so sweet,
what you said about that necklace.
1353
01:11:09,094 --> 01:11:10,094
Yeah.
1354
01:11:10,179 --> 01:11:13,014
- I should wear it more often.
- Okay. What do you think?
1355
01:11:13,098 --> 01:11:16,268
- I think you're good on your own.
- Oh, you touched the cue ball.
1356
01:11:16,353 --> 01:11:17,728
- Oh.
- So...
1357
01:11:17,812 --> 01:11:19,396
- Really?
- I mean, if you want to play proper...
1358
01:11:19,481 --> 01:11:21,357
No, it's fine if you want to...
1359
01:11:21,441 --> 01:11:22,900
- Okay.
- Sorry.
1360
01:11:22,984 --> 01:11:24,401
- Happens all the time, don't worry.
- I'm sorry.
1361
01:11:24,486 --> 01:11:25,653
It's two shots if...
1362
01:11:25,737 --> 01:11:28,238
- No, no, it's cool. You...
- All right. No, no. No, go ahead.
1363
01:11:28,323 --> 01:11:29,698
- I don't want to be a dick about it...
- No!
1364
01:11:29,783 --> 01:11:30,783
- Too late.
- Are you sure?
1365
01:11:30,867 --> 01:11:31,950
- Take your two shots.
- Fine.
1366
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,162
- Well, that was fun.
- Yeah.
1367
01:11:34,246 --> 01:11:35,872
We should do it again.
What do you say, Josh?
1368
01:11:35,956 --> 01:11:37,499
Give you Brits a chance for revenge?
1369
01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:40,251
Oh, yeah, 'cause...
When my elbow's a bit better,
1370
01:11:40,336 --> 01:11:41,961
I'll be able to give you
a much better game. Probably win.
1371
01:11:42,046 --> 01:11:43,713
Yeah, that sounds fun.
1372
01:11:43,798 --> 01:11:44,881
Can I walk you to your car?
1373
01:11:45,007 --> 01:11:47,592
Oh, you know, I'm just gonna catch a cab,
1374
01:11:47,677 --> 01:11:49,511
but you can wait with me if you like.
1375
01:11:49,595 --> 01:11:51,304
- Be my pleasure.
- Okay.
1376
01:11:51,389 --> 01:11:54,350
Actually, Guy, do you mind
if I quickly grab you for two minutes?
1377
01:11:54,434 --> 01:11:56,560
Just to talk packaging before the meeting.
1378
01:11:56,895 --> 01:11:58,020
Is that okay?
1379
01:11:58,855 --> 01:12:00,856
- Sure.
- Thanks. Sorry.
1380
01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:03,693
Well, I could help you get a cab, if you want.
1381
01:12:04,027 --> 01:12:05,152
And I'll wait with you.
1382
01:12:06,988 --> 01:12:08,698
Okay, yeah.
1383
01:12:10,242 --> 01:12:12,118
- I had a blast, partner.
- Oh!
1384
01:12:12,202 --> 01:12:14,371
We are what make our nation great.
1385
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:17,457
I'd like to check out that Kandinsky
thing you were talking about.
1386
01:12:17,542 --> 01:12:19,459
That sounds very interesting.
1387
01:12:20,002 --> 01:12:21,545
Thank you.
1388
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:26,049
Aw, that's nice. All right?
1389
01:12:26,134 --> 01:12:27,760
Okay, I'll see you back at the flat.
1390
01:12:27,845 --> 01:12:29,971
All right. All the best.
1391
01:12:32,433 --> 01:12:33,850
I presume we need to make a decision
1392
01:12:33,934 --> 01:12:37,019
on the LinkWorth tender for the branding.
1393
01:12:37,771 --> 01:12:38,813
What are your thoughts?
1394
01:12:44,653 --> 01:12:47,196
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I thought you said that this...
1395
01:13:00,170 --> 01:13:02,714
Oh, Christ, even your underwear's amazing.
1396
01:13:07,595 --> 01:13:09,763
It's a little fiddly.
1397
01:13:10,765 --> 01:13:12,515
Just rip it off. Just rip it!
1398
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,267
There it is!
1399
01:13:15,728 --> 01:13:19,773
That Guy's so dull. He's so bland.
1400
01:13:20,357 --> 01:13:21,858
You don't like him, do you?
1401
01:13:22,193 --> 01:13:23,485
Taxi!
1402
01:13:24,612 --> 01:13:25,945
No?
1403
01:13:28,032 --> 01:13:31,534
What's going on, Josh?
What are we even doing?
1404
01:13:32,953 --> 01:13:35,039
What do you mean? Taxi!
1405
01:13:36,082 --> 01:13:38,000
Your light's on! Put your light...
1406
01:13:38,294 --> 01:13:39,669
His light was on. Why would...
1407
01:13:41,422 --> 01:13:43,757
You realise I love you, don't you?
1408
01:13:44,467 --> 01:13:46,718
I'm in love with a man who just got married
1409
01:13:46,803 --> 01:13:49,095
and we're both pretending that it's fine.
1410
01:13:49,430 --> 01:13:50,847
Tonight was so fucked-up!
1411
01:13:50,932 --> 01:13:52,307
Taxi!
1412
01:13:55,728 --> 01:13:58,271
No, no.
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. No.
1413
01:13:58,356 --> 01:14:00,148
No, no, no, you don't do that.
1414
01:14:00,233 --> 01:14:02,234
That's not how decent people behave, is it?
1415
01:14:02,318 --> 01:14:04,611
How is society supposed to function
1416
01:14:04,695 --> 01:14:07,989
with people like you dragging us into a cesspit?
1417
01:14:08,366 --> 01:14:09,741
Mmm? We're not animals!
1418
01:14:10,159 --> 01:14:13,328
- Sorry, we just didn't see you.
- Didn't realise it was your taxi.
1419
01:14:13,412 --> 01:14:15,582
- Please, take it.
- Take it, you can have it.
1420
01:14:15,667 --> 01:14:17,668
So sorry. I'm sorry.
1421
01:14:18,461 --> 01:14:19,753
What am I supposed to do?
1422
01:14:19,838 --> 01:14:22,422
I can't just walk out of a marriage
after nine months.
1423
01:14:22,507 --> 01:14:23,715
Why not?
1424
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:26,718
Pride? Afraid of what people will say?
1425
01:14:27,679 --> 01:14:31,181
Figure out what you actually
want to fight for, Josh.
1426
01:14:31,599 --> 01:14:32,850
When I went to Africa,
1427
01:14:32,934 --> 01:14:35,394
I convinced myself that we were too young
1428
01:14:35,478 --> 01:14:37,062
and somebody better would come along,
1429
01:14:37,146 --> 01:14:39,147
but they never did and they still haven't.
1430
01:14:39,858 --> 01:14:43,277
And now, every time I see you, I think,
1431
01:14:43,361 --> 01:14:44,903
why didn't you stop me?
1432
01:14:45,989 --> 01:14:48,156
Why didn't you fight?
1433
01:14:51,829 --> 01:14:53,663
This has to stop.
1434
01:14:54,498 --> 01:14:56,584
I can't see you any more.
1435
01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:59,378
You're married.
1436
01:14:59,963 --> 01:15:03,507
I can't see you any more.
1437
01:15:17,272 --> 01:15:19,356
- Dinner and a show, was it?
- As it happens.
1438
01:15:19,441 --> 01:15:21,317
Yeah? Nice.
1439
01:15:21,401 --> 01:15:22,860
Sorry.
1440
01:15:40,797 --> 01:15:42,214
We need to talk.
1441
01:15:42,716 --> 01:15:44,759
We do, yeah.
1442
01:15:46,011 --> 01:15:48,012
I don't know what's happening here,
1443
01:15:48,764 --> 01:15:50,389
but it's been nine months
1444
01:15:51,558 --> 01:15:52,767
and neither of us is happy
1445
01:15:54,311 --> 01:15:55,895
and I don't know how to change things.
1446
01:15:56,229 --> 01:15:59,190
I just never imagined that marriage
would be this difficult, you know?
1447
01:16:01,152 --> 01:16:03,403
I don't want to be Hugh and Naomi.
1448
01:16:03,488 --> 01:16:05,989
I don't want to constantly row
over whether the bin's full or not.
1449
01:16:06,074 --> 01:16:08,492
I don't see what's wrong with compacting
the rubbish to make more space...
1450
01:16:08,576 --> 01:16:11,328
- I'm not rowing about the bin again.
- Neither am I.
1451
01:16:14,958 --> 01:16:19,337
Look, if you want to walk away, I understand.
1452
01:16:20,381 --> 01:16:21,631
Well, is that what you want?
1453
01:16:22,091 --> 01:16:23,508
That's not what I'm saying.
1454
01:16:23,592 --> 01:16:25,259
Because it sounds like
you don't want to make it work.
1455
01:16:27,221 --> 01:16:28,471
Stop putting words into my mouth.
1456
01:16:28,555 --> 01:16:30,223
You're the one who said marriage was difficult.
1457
01:16:30,432 --> 01:16:32,934
Yeah, but I didn't say anything
about walking away.
1458
01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:36,939
So, if you want to give up...
1459
01:16:38,108 --> 01:16:39,400
I'm not the one giving up.
1460
01:16:39,693 --> 01:16:41,026
Well, nor am I.
1461
01:16:41,611 --> 01:16:42,736
Well,
1462
01:16:42,862 --> 01:16:43,946
good.
1463
01:16:44,239 --> 01:16:46,073
That's good.
1464
01:16:50,161 --> 01:16:52,287
So what do we do?
1465
01:16:52,956 --> 01:16:55,124
So, that's why we've come here today.
1466
01:16:55,959 --> 01:16:57,042
We've hit our low point,
1467
01:16:57,127 --> 01:17:00,672
but we're committed
to making our marriage succeed.
1468
01:17:02,758 --> 01:17:04,718
You should just cut your losses now
1469
01:17:04,802 --> 01:17:07,303
before your life becomes a series of squabbles
1470
01:17:07,430 --> 01:17:09,472
about who's meant to pick the kids up,
1471
01:17:09,557 --> 01:17:14,603
who put the King's Speech DVD
back in the Sound of Music DVD case.
1472
01:17:15,063 --> 01:17:16,981
I suppose, if you really want to make it work,
1473
01:17:17,107 --> 01:17:20,985
you could try focusing on making it to a year.
1474
01:17:22,362 --> 01:17:25,573
Commit to a life with each other
for the next three months.
1475
01:17:49,391 --> 01:17:50,516
What is it?
1476
01:17:51,018 --> 01:17:52,935
Is it a film?
1477
01:17:53,020 --> 01:17:54,395
- How many words?
- Novel?
1478
01:17:54,480 --> 01:17:56,481
Well, you must know how many words there are.
1479
01:17:56,565 --> 01:17:58,357
Sounds like?
1480
01:18:21,758 --> 01:18:24,260
I understand you're looking to sell.
1481
01:18:27,223 --> 01:18:28,890
I'm from Foxtons.
1482
01:18:42,780 --> 01:18:43,988
Boom, boom.
1483
01:19:15,481 --> 01:19:19,526
So, this time last year,
you'd been Mrs Moss for...
1484
01:19:19,610 --> 01:19:22,028
Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty...
1485
01:19:22,113 --> 01:19:24,072
...an hour and eight minutes.
1486
01:19:24,907 --> 01:19:27,033
We made it.
1487
01:19:27,577 --> 01:19:29,411
One year.
1488
01:19:30,538 --> 01:19:32,914
We should be proud of ourselves.
1489
01:19:37,921 --> 01:19:39,589
Ta-da.
1490
01:19:40,592 --> 01:19:44,761
I thought I'd bring out the big guns
for a special occasion.
1491
01:19:45,597 --> 01:19:47,931
- Could you help do me up?
- Yeah.
1492
01:19:58,818 --> 01:20:00,360
I think two of these hooks are broken.
1493
01:20:01,988 --> 01:20:03,906
- Oh. Really?
- Yeah, I think so.
1494
01:20:03,990 --> 01:20:08,493
- God. Um, let me fix it.
- All right.
1495
01:20:22,761 --> 01:20:25,638
Hon, I've just remembered
I've got to do something. Um...
1496
01:20:26,223 --> 01:20:29,308
I'll see you at the restaurant.
Tell Hugh and Naomi, okay?
1497
01:20:29,559 --> 01:20:33,020
Sure. I'll see you there.
1498
01:21:04,012 --> 01:21:06,639
You know, you haven't even
told me where we're going yet.
1499
01:21:07,516 --> 01:21:09,809
I wanted to surprise you.
1500
01:21:18,318 --> 01:21:21,196
Surprise!
1501
01:21:22,115 --> 01:21:23,198
What's going on?
1502
01:21:23,283 --> 01:21:25,033
I wanted to organise a little party for you.
1503
01:21:25,326 --> 01:21:27,411
A year is a big achievement.
1504
01:21:27,495 --> 01:21:28,912
Where is your stupid husband?
1505
01:21:35,878 --> 01:21:37,921
Did you remember your passport?
1506
01:21:39,299 --> 01:21:40,590
Here.
1507
01:21:40,675 --> 01:21:42,343
Is this human trafficking?
1508
01:21:42,428 --> 01:21:45,513
You're not gonna keep it
and sell me to a gang of Albanians
1509
01:21:45,597 --> 01:21:47,807
who'll make me pleasure 25 truck drivers a day
1510
01:21:47,891 --> 01:21:50,977
at some port in Belgium
for me to earn it back, are you?
1511
01:21:51,061 --> 01:21:53,896
No, no. Absolutely not.
1512
01:21:54,565 --> 01:21:56,357
It's a terrible situation, though.
1513
01:21:57,068 --> 01:21:58,777
Those women...
1514
01:21:59,571 --> 01:22:04,199
I can't help but think they all just
started life as someone's little baby.
1515
01:22:06,953 --> 01:22:08,078
He's still not picking up.
1516
01:22:09,414 --> 01:22:10,539
He's never usually late.
1517
01:22:10,623 --> 01:22:13,042
God, can we start without him?
I'm starving.
1518
01:22:13,126 --> 01:22:14,585
We've been here forever.
1519
01:22:14,669 --> 01:22:16,920
I can't believe he's late
for our first-anniversary dinner.
1520
01:22:17,088 --> 01:22:18,464
I can't believe you even made it...
1521
01:22:18,548 --> 01:22:20,549
...to your first-anniversary dinner.
1522
01:22:21,092 --> 01:22:22,302
- What?
- Hmm?
1523
01:22:22,428 --> 01:22:23,428
Mmm?
1524
01:22:26,182 --> 01:22:30,435
Well, one year is pretty remarkable,
1525
01:22:30,644 --> 01:22:33,397
given that you two are completely
ill-suited for one another, isn't it?
1526
01:22:33,482 --> 01:22:35,358
I mean, no one thought
you were gonna make it a month,
1527
01:22:35,442 --> 01:22:36,484
much less a year.
1528
01:22:36,568 --> 01:22:37,610
Really?
1529
01:22:37,652 --> 01:22:40,321
I didn't actually think you'd make it
past the honeymoon, honestly.
1530
01:22:40,405 --> 01:22:41,697
I thought you'd fuck a Moroccan.
1531
01:22:41,782 --> 01:22:42,823
- Whoa.
- I really did.
1532
01:22:42,908 --> 01:22:43,908
And I wouldn't have blamed you
1533
01:22:43,992 --> 01:22:45,868
because they're very beguiling, the Moroccans.
1534
01:22:45,952 --> 01:22:49,288
If you sort of like the swarthy gentleman.
1535
01:22:49,623 --> 01:22:51,624
- Thanks. And no, I don't.
- That's not your thing?
1536
01:22:51,708 --> 01:22:53,542
- No.
- Ooh. A bit racist?
1537
01:22:53,627 --> 01:22:55,961
I bet you'd do it. You'd do it
with a foreign fellow, wouldn't you?
1538
01:22:56,380 --> 01:22:58,130
What about the Chinese fellows?
1539
01:22:58,256 --> 01:23:00,383
Because they've not got
a great reputation as lovers.
1540
01:23:00,467 --> 01:23:03,345
But they must be doing something right,
because there's billions of them.
1541
01:23:03,471 --> 01:23:05,263
You've got your Germans. Ach!
Very efficient.
1542
01:23:05,348 --> 01:23:08,476
Like
a machine, just... In and out.
1543
01:23:08,602 --> 01:23:10,311
"I vill annex your vagina!
1544
01:23:10,396 --> 01:23:12,397
"And then Poland!"
No, forgive and forget.
1545
01:23:12,481 --> 01:23:14,065
But d'you know what?
I don't know about you,
1546
01:23:14,149 --> 01:23:16,609
I've never met someone
who's had sex with an Eskimo.
1547
01:23:16,693 --> 01:23:18,319
Be good, wouldn't it?
Because they'd start with the noses
1548
01:23:18,404 --> 01:23:20,488
and then they'd, ooh, get down,
you know, with the...
1549
01:23:21,281 --> 01:23:24,784
Do you think they do that down there?
Not using the... Just... On the nose.
1550
01:23:26,078 --> 01:23:27,829
I bet you've had a few of them, yeah.
And him.
1551
01:23:27,913 --> 01:23:29,080
No, good luck to you.
1552
01:23:30,165 --> 01:23:33,209
- Thanks.
- But, I mean, you did it. One year!
1553
01:23:33,293 --> 01:23:34,419
- Yay!
- Yay!
1554
01:23:34,503 --> 01:23:36,170
Don't you clap.
1555
01:23:37,089 --> 01:23:39,090
Go on, give that twat of a husband another call.
1556
01:23:39,174 --> 01:23:40,258
Don't use your phone, use mine.
1557
01:23:40,342 --> 01:23:43,220
Because sometimes he avoids you if he
sees your name come up on the caller ID.
1558
01:24:22,345 --> 01:24:25,515
Oh, God. Happy anniversary!
1559
01:24:29,812 --> 01:24:31,813
Naomi arranged it.
1560
01:24:33,191 --> 01:24:34,983
Happy one year.
1561
01:24:35,818 --> 01:24:37,235
I need to tell you something, Nat.
1562
01:24:39,530 --> 01:24:41,740
I just think you're the most incredible woman.
1563
01:24:42,033 --> 01:24:44,117
- Aw!
- How about that?
1564
01:24:44,202 --> 01:24:46,119
So beautiful.
1565
01:24:46,496 --> 01:24:49,456
And smart and bright and funny.
1566
01:24:50,208 --> 01:24:51,291
You're perfect.
1567
01:24:52,376 --> 01:24:54,712
- You're the perfect wife.
- Aw, sweet.
1568
01:24:58,050 --> 01:24:59,133
But just not for me.
1569
01:25:01,053 --> 01:25:03,429
I've waited my whole life
for the right girl to show up.
1570
01:25:03,847 --> 01:25:05,599
And it turns out that you weren't it.
1571
01:25:06,100 --> 01:25:09,269
I don't find the way that you crinkle
your nose when you laugh adorable,
1572
01:25:09,354 --> 01:25:10,646
the way you flick your hair,
1573
01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:12,231
- it's quite frankly irritating.
- Hear, hear.
1574
01:25:12,315 --> 01:25:14,316
I wanted to cherish everything about you,
1575
01:25:14,400 --> 01:25:17,361
but it just didn't happen.
1576
01:25:19,614 --> 01:25:21,406
So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
1577
01:25:22,408 --> 01:25:23,951
Natasha Moss...
1578
01:25:25,411 --> 01:25:26,745
will you divorce me?
1579
01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:30,500
Yes.
1580
01:25:30,584 --> 01:25:33,169
Yes. Yes! I will!
1581
01:25:33,254 --> 01:25:35,004
- I absolutely will!
- That's so amazing!
1582
01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:36,839
- Do you really mean it?
- Absolutely!
1583
01:25:36,924 --> 01:25:40,009
I've been waiting for this moment
for months, hoping it would happen.
1584
01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:41,386
I can't believe that you asked me.
1585
01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:42,929
Why didn't you just say something, then?
1586
01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,933
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I thought it would break your heart.
1587
01:25:46,268 --> 01:25:49,645
You've made me the happiest woman in the world.
1588
01:25:50,772 --> 01:25:51,814
I love you.
1589
01:25:52,148 --> 01:25:53,274
But you're not in love with me.
1590
01:25:53,358 --> 01:25:55,526
No! God, no.
1591
01:25:55,610 --> 01:25:57,486
Unequivocally not in love with you.
1592
01:25:57,862 --> 01:26:00,030
The opposite. The opposite of love.
Misery.
1593
01:26:00,115 --> 01:26:02,032
Me, too!
1594
01:26:02,784 --> 01:26:04,952
I can't believe we felt the same for so long.
1595
01:26:05,036 --> 01:26:08,832
Well, listen, now we have the rest of our lives
1596
01:26:09,208 --> 01:26:10,500
not to be together.
1597
01:26:13,588 --> 01:26:14,921
Cheers?
1598
01:26:15,006 --> 01:26:17,257
Look, this is amazing, it's magical.
1599
01:26:17,341 --> 01:26:18,508
It's better than I could ever have imagined,
1600
01:26:18,593 --> 01:26:20,385
but there's somewhere else
that I really need to be right now.
1601
01:26:20,469 --> 01:26:22,596
Oh, go! Seriously, go.
Do you need money for a cab?
1602
01:26:22,680 --> 01:26:23,722
No, I'm all right, I'm in the car,
1603
01:26:23,806 --> 01:26:25,725
but it was a nightmare trying to park,
so I'm basically in a...
1604
01:26:25,809 --> 01:26:28,936
Oh, God, stop it. Stop it.
It's so boring.
1605
01:26:29,021 --> 01:26:30,730
- It's just, the car's in your name...
- It's so boring.
1606
01:26:30,814 --> 01:26:32,898
- We should sort that out, actually.
- It's so boring. I don't care.
1607
01:26:32,983 --> 01:26:35,067
- All right, but...
- Honestly. Just go.
1608
01:26:48,499 --> 01:26:51,335
I will never have to see you again.
1609
01:26:52,420 --> 01:26:53,920
Ever.
1610
01:26:59,010 --> 01:27:00,510
Taxi!
1611
01:27:16,570 --> 01:27:17,946
Ta-da!
1612
01:27:18,531 --> 01:27:20,115
Oh, wow!
1613
01:27:20,200 --> 01:27:22,743
I've always wanted to go to Aachen.
1614
01:27:24,746 --> 01:27:27,289
No, uh, we're going to Paris.
1615
01:27:27,415 --> 01:27:28,666
Paris.
1616
01:27:29,668 --> 01:27:32,628
Ah! Okay. Joke!
1617
01:27:33,213 --> 01:27:34,755
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
1618
01:27:48,688 --> 01:27:50,689
- I'm thinking two kids.
- Oh!
1619
01:27:50,773 --> 01:27:53,651
- Guy Junior and Gaia.
- Wait! Wait, stop!
1620
01:27:54,736 --> 01:27:55,861
- Stand back.
- Oh, my God.
1621
01:27:57,239 --> 01:27:58,864
I can't be without you, Chloe.
1622
01:27:59,449 --> 01:28:01,033
I think about you every second of the day.
1623
01:28:02,452 --> 01:28:03,577
I need to be with you.
1624
01:28:04,121 --> 01:28:05,371
And I know you want to be with me as well.
1625
01:28:05,455 --> 01:28:06,622
What the hell are you doing?
1626
01:28:06,707 --> 01:28:09,166
You can't just turn up
and try and steal my girlfriend away.
1627
01:28:09,251 --> 01:28:11,419
You're married. You're a married man.
1628
01:28:11,461 --> 01:28:13,129
You should get out of here, creep.
1629
01:28:13,547 --> 01:28:14,547
I split up with Nat.
1630
01:28:14,631 --> 01:28:16,966
- You split up with Nat?
- You split up with Nat?
1631
01:28:17,342 --> 01:28:19,969
Ever since you came back into my life,
I've known that I had to be with you.
1632
01:28:21,972 --> 01:28:24,557
When I lie in bed,
I think about the way that you laugh.
1633
01:28:25,142 --> 01:28:28,187
I can't work because I can't stop
imagining our lives together.
1634
01:28:29,106 --> 01:28:32,608
You're everything that I've ever wanted in a...
1635
01:28:34,153 --> 01:28:36,779
- Nat?!
- Josh? What...
1636
01:28:39,032 --> 01:28:40,908
What? What?
1637
01:28:41,118 --> 01:28:42,410
Okay, sorry.
1638
01:28:44,496 --> 01:28:47,790
Nat, we spoke about this, didn't we?
1639
01:28:48,333 --> 01:28:50,042
- It's not gonna work out.
- No, I, uh...
1640
01:28:50,127 --> 01:28:51,461
- Actually, I'm...
- I'm not gonna change my mind.
1641
01:28:51,587 --> 01:28:53,963
- I don't care what you say.
- I'm, uh...
1642
01:28:55,007 --> 01:28:57,592
- I'm not here to see you.
- What are you doing?
1643
01:28:58,010 --> 01:28:59,469
I'm actually not here to see you.
1644
01:28:59,553 --> 01:29:01,387
What do you mean,
you're not actually here to see me?
1645
01:29:02,347 --> 01:29:03,849
Him!
1646
01:29:04,225 --> 01:29:05,517
- Really?
- And you...
1647
01:29:05,894 --> 01:29:07,854
- Her, yeah.
- Her, of course.
1648
01:29:07,938 --> 01:29:09,397
You're perfect for each other.
1649
01:29:09,482 --> 01:29:12,567
And I always thought he was much more
the kind of guy that you should go for.
1650
01:29:12,651 --> 01:29:14,277
Do you remember when I said to you
when I was trying to...
1651
01:29:14,361 --> 01:29:15,945
Oh, I do remember that!
I remember when you said that,
1652
01:29:16,030 --> 01:29:17,614
and at the time, I agreed.
1653
01:29:17,740 --> 01:29:18,782
And I thought in my mind,
1654
01:29:18,866 --> 01:29:20,033
"I think he's right,
I should be with him."
1655
01:29:20,117 --> 01:29:22,911
That's what I wanted.
1656
01:29:22,995 --> 01:29:25,288
Ah! And here we are.
1657
01:29:25,664 --> 01:29:26,748
Here we are.
1658
01:29:27,458 --> 01:29:30,460
And where were you?
Had you been explaining
1659
01:29:30,544 --> 01:29:32,462
- the bit about us...
- Us breaking up, yeah.
1660
01:29:32,588 --> 01:29:34,798
I was just explaining to Chloe
why I was in love with her.
1661
01:29:36,926 --> 01:29:40,721
Okay, is it just me,
or is this unbelievably awkward?
1662
01:29:40,806 --> 01:29:41,972
Look at that.
1663
01:29:42,057 --> 01:29:43,891
She's got that dry sense of humour
that you like.
1664
01:29:43,975 --> 01:29:45,893
I mean, I just don't have that.
1665
01:29:45,977 --> 01:29:50,106
And this guy, forget about it.
Unbelievable.
1666
01:29:50,733 --> 01:29:52,901
Proper grade-A hunk.
1667
01:29:52,985 --> 01:29:54,444
I could just drink you in.
1668
01:29:55,029 --> 01:29:56,488
Thanks.
1669
01:29:58,074 --> 01:30:02,244
But this lady here, she's incredible.
1670
01:30:03,162 --> 01:30:05,914
And you make her eyes light up
in a way that I never could.
1671
01:30:10,920 --> 01:30:12,921
Would you mind...
1672
01:30:13,005 --> 01:30:15,091
No, no, uh... please.
1673
01:30:15,843 --> 01:30:17,051
Would it be all right if I...
1674
01:30:17,135 --> 01:30:18,511
Of course.
1675
01:30:19,304 --> 01:30:20,721
Thank you.
1676
01:30:26,395 --> 01:30:27,854
- Thank you.
- Oh!
1677
01:30:27,938 --> 01:30:30,023
- That's nice.
- Sorry.
1678
01:30:31,776 --> 01:30:34,236
No, not you, we don't want to do that.
1679
01:30:34,320 --> 01:30:36,780
Never again. Come around this side.
1680
01:30:36,865 --> 01:30:38,532
Hi.
1681
01:30:45,415 --> 01:30:47,291
- This is a bit weird.
- This is weird, isn't it?
1682
01:30:47,375 --> 01:30:48,792
- Yeah.
- We'll go.
1683
01:30:48,877 --> 01:30:50,628
- Let's go over here.
- No, we'll go.
1684
01:31:37,970 --> 01:31:39,721
- Who had the chicken feet?
- I did.
1685
01:31:39,805 --> 01:31:41,306
You had the chicken feet.
1686
01:31:41,390 --> 01:31:43,683
- We didn't have a starter.
- No, no.
1687
01:31:43,768 --> 01:31:46,019
And we didn't have the champagne.
1688
01:31:46,103 --> 01:31:49,565
We spent �45,000 on a wedding to your prick son!
1689
01:31:49,650 --> 01:31:52,860
You can chip in for a bit of fucking dim sum!
1690
01:32:22,558 --> 01:32:23,892
All right, pause, pause, pause.
1691
01:32:23,977 --> 01:32:25,018
I'll tell you what we'll do.
1692
01:32:25,103 --> 01:32:28,605
We'll make a list of
pros and cons, right, of Nat.
1693
01:32:28,690 --> 01:32:32,735
Pros. Number one, body.
1694
01:32:32,820 --> 01:32:35,738
Excellent. I've seen it nude, loved it.
1695
01:32:35,823 --> 01:32:37,533
I beg your pardon?
When have you seen it nude?
1696
01:32:37,826 --> 01:32:40,244
Well, when we were
down in that place in Cornwall,
1697
01:32:40,328 --> 01:32:42,121
I sort of walked in
when she was getting changed.
1698
01:32:42,205 --> 01:32:43,580
- What do you mean, you walked in...
- "Accidentally."
1699
01:32:43,665 --> 01:32:45,874
- What's that? What's that?
- Hey, listen, I'll tell you,
1700
01:32:45,959 --> 01:32:49,169
you lock your door
or these peepers will come a-roving.
1701
01:32:49,337 --> 01:32:52,172
All right, mate? That's the way I roll.
1702
01:32:52,257 --> 01:32:53,924
You know that, she should know that.
1703
01:32:54,009 --> 01:32:56,301
What about that she's, um...
1704
01:32:57,554 --> 01:32:59,096
- Kind...
- Boring.
1705
01:32:59,180 --> 01:33:00,764
...and warm.
1706
01:33:00,849 --> 01:33:02,808
Warm?
Put the radiator on if you want warm.
1707
01:33:02,892 --> 01:33:04,893
And, um, good with kids.
1708
01:33:05,020 --> 01:33:07,187
So was Michael Jackson.
Look at that marriage. It didn't last.
1709
01:33:08,857 --> 01:33:09,857
Yeah, but I love her.
1710
01:33:09,941 --> 01:33:11,443
- Love.
- Well, I do.
1711
01:33:11,527 --> 01:33:12,737
Yeah, sounds a bit gay.
1712
01:33:13,196 --> 01:33:14,447
We can get back out there like the lads.
1713
01:33:14,531 --> 01:33:16,949
Like the old days, you know?
The Terrible Two.
1714
01:33:17,034 --> 01:33:18,034
Do you know what I mean?
1715
01:33:18,118 --> 01:33:19,952
"Lock up your daughters.
And your mothers."
1716
01:33:20,037 --> 01:33:21,287
I'm not fussy.
1717
01:33:21,621 --> 01:33:23,664
Every time I open my mouth
when I'm around her, she's like,
1718
01:33:23,749 --> 01:33:25,916
"No, don't say that.
You can't say that.
1719
01:33:26,001 --> 01:33:27,043
"You can't do that.
1720
01:33:27,377 --> 01:33:30,296
"Put your trousers on! Put your
trousers on! We're in a restaurant!"
1721
01:33:30,380 --> 01:33:32,631
- Oh, shut up.
- Well, she's...
130944
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