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1
00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,636
Alan, do you ever fantasize
when we're making love?
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:10,590
Well, occasionally l pretend
that l'm better looking.
3
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,389
What about you?
4
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:17,997
Sometimes l imagine we're
in the middle of a big department store.
5
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,029
Having sex?
6
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,714
No, shopping.
7
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,750
Why would l fantasize about having sex
while l'm having sex?
8
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,353
Do you think about ham and cheese
when you're eating a sandwich?
9
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,115
Can't argue with that.
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,273
What you thinking?
11
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:45,315
Nothing really. l just--
l got a call from Jake's school today.
12
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:48,074
You know who called me?
Jessica Murray.
13
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,229
Oh, who's that?
14
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,595
A friend of mine.
15
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,715
Yeah, well. . . .
16
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,953
Anyway, Jake's mom and l have to go to
a parent-teacher conference tomorrow. . .
17
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,190
. . .and l don't really know
what it's about.
18
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,199
Hey, do you ever pretend
your toes are little people?
19
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,032
What? No.
20
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:15,035
Sometimes l make believe they're
different families playing Family Feud.
21
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,357
All right, let's meet our champions.
22
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:23,595
He goes to market, she stays home,
please welcome the Piggy family.
23
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,079
Hi, everybody.
24
00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:30,598
You're going down Piggy family.
You're going down.
25
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,318
-Hey.
-Hey.
26
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,553
He's shooting 5 1 percent
from beyond the arc. That's pretty good.
27
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,713
How's it going?
28
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,279
Forget it, Alan.
29
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:59,238
l only do the apr�s-sex chat
with people l've just had sex with.
30
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,756
Come on. She's playing
Family Feud with her toes.
31
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,959
l don't care if she's playing banjo
with her nipples.
32
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,636
l need to communicate
after lovemaking. l need to share.
33
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,314
You should have thought of that
before boinking a girl. . .
34
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,038
. . .with the lQ of Tickle Me Elmo.
35
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,316
Fine.
36
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,679
Hey, Berta. How's it going?
37
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:23,909
Back off, zippy.
38
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,550
You want pillow talk,
you gotta spoon me first.
39
00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,118
l suppose l could talk about
his grades again. . .
40
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,955
. . .but l think we all agree
that ship has pretty much sailed.
41
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,835
So why did you wanna see us?
42
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:58,755
Well, l'm concerned
that even outside of the classroom. . .
43
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:02,390
. . .Jake has no interest in anything
that goes on around here.
44
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:07,111
Now, hang on. He speaks very highly
of your hot lunch program.
45
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:12,914
Well, l was talking more about hobbies
or extracurricular activities.
46
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,957
Well, l don't know about his father. . .
47
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,918
. . .but l've tried to share
some of my interests with him.
48
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:22,198
Unfortunately, he's a little young
to drink in the dark and bitch about men.
49
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,036
You know. . .
50
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:34,069
. . .l was kind of lacking in focus
when l was his age too. . .
51
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,310
. . .till l got bit by the old theater bug.
52
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,040
Too bad you didn't get bit
by the old rabid squirrel.
53
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,797
You know, l'm organizing
a drama club.
54
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,679
Would that be something
Jake would have any interest in. . .
55
00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,115
. . .or do you think he gets
enough drama at home?
56
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,152
All the world's a stage.
57
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,719
And we are merely players.
58
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,833
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.
59
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,032
She say what l'm in trouble for?
60
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,952
Nope.
61
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,429
Boy, it's the not knowing
that drives you crazy.
62
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,797
Yeah, like a pregnancy test.
63
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,552
Yeah.
64
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,790
l don't get it.
65
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,232
Yes. ln your face, Opie.
66
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,993
This game stinks.
67
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,752
No, you stink at it.
68
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,639
That was my lunch money.
69
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,473
Oh, your lunch money,
why didn't you tell me?
70
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,871
Boo-freaking-hoo. Pack a sandwich.
71
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,873
Okay, Jake, well, we talked
to Miss Sheffield.
72
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,439
l'm sorry.
73
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:47,149
-What are you sorry about?
-l'm. . . .
74
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,154
l'm sorry l interrupted you. Go ahead.
75
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,753
lt would be a good idea if you got
involved in extracurricular activities.
76
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,239
Oh, okay.
77
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,994
Great, great.
We'll talk about it at home.
78
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,595
Do you know
what an ''extracurricular activity'' is?
79
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,593
Who cares? l'm off the hook.
80
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:26,957
-What do you think?
-What was this all about?
81
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,759
-lt's choreography.
-lt's gay.
82
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,839
Okay.
Forget about the movements.
83
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,433
-Just try singing the song.
-No.
84
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,353
-Why not?
-Because it's gay.
85
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:38,909
Don't encourage him.
86
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,389
Don't make him sing
Gilbert and Sullivan.
87
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,515
He needs something to audition for the
school musical. You teach him a song.
88
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,352
-Why don't you let him choose?
-Jake.
89
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,877
-Tell you uncle what you wanted to sing.
-lt's called ''Whup That Stanky Ho. ''
90
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,639
All right. There's gotta be
some middle ground here.
91
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,471
-You like classic rock, right?
-Yeah.
92
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,073
Okay, well, pick a band.
93
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,154
How about Queen?
94
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,118
Oh, good. l was afraid
he was gonna pick something gay.
95
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,551
Doesn't sound right.
96
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,154
You heard it too, huh?
97
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,718
-You sure you played all the right notes?
-Yes, l'm sure.
98
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,235
lt doesn't sound anything like
Queen's version.
99
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,790
No, it doesn't.
100
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,191
Why don't you work on it.
We'll try again tomorrow.
101
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,838
Yeah, why don't l do that.
102
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,592
The kid's a double threat:
103
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,990
tone-deaf and arrogant.
104
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,159
-Hey.
-Where have you been?
105
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,548
Kandi called for you.
106
00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,358
Oh, l had to work late.
107
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,119
Yeah, one of my regular patients
had a crisis.
108
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,989
His name is Roger, he had
a couple of vertebrae pinching a nerve.
109
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,071
-Too bad.
-Nice guy, you'd like him.
110
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,311
He restores old cars. Well, it's
actually more a hobby than a job.
111
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,994
He works at Staples.
His name is Roger.
112
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,913
-Alan.
-Yeah?
113
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,752
Why are you lying to me?
114
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,278
l don't know. l really suck at it.
115
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:32,915
You do indeed.
116
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,039
Don't you care where l was?
117
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,631
Why would l start now?
118
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,119
Oh, come on, l really need to get this
off my chest.
119
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,872
All right, go ahead.
120
00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,308
-l was with another woman.
-Okay, okay, see, that's a good lie.
121
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,918
No, no. l really was
with another woman.
122
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,750
Seriously?
123
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,230
You're already doing a hot 22-year-old
and you're cheating on her?
124
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:01,909
Yes.
125
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,390
l am so proud of you.
126
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,828
-What?
-Who's the dog? My brother's the dog.
127
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,992
Come on, dog. Come on, dog.
Howl with me.
128
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,115
No, stop howling and let me explain.
129
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,952
There's nothing to explain.
130
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,590
You're sleeping with two women
at the same time. You're a big old dog.
131
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,115
No, l haven't been sleeping
with the other woman.
132
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,479
l've been seeing Jake's teacher.
133
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,915
All we do is talk.
134
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,479
l don't know how to explain it.
We have so much in common.
135
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,108
l mean, she's divorced.
She has a kid Jake's age.
136
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,838
She reads. She likes the theater.
137
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,116
Yeah, yeah. But you're not
sleeping with her?
138
00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,239
-Why would l when l've got Kandi?
-l don't know. Because you can?
139
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,754
lt's not that kind of a relationship.
lt's intellectual.
140
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:09,153
So take her to a museum, enjoy
the exhibits and do her in the restroom.
141
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,474
-You're missing the point.
-No, you're missing the point.
142
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,392
Not getting laid, it's not cheating.
143
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:18,394
-Then why do l feel so guilty?
-That's easy. Because you're an idiot.
144
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,799
l guess l always thought that one woman
was supposed to fulfill all my needs.
145
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,712
Oh, that's an old wives' tale.
146
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,919
Started to protect the interests of,
you guessed it, old wives.
147
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,079
So you're saying the whole concept
of monogamy is a fraud.
148
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,152
-The institution of marriage is a sham?
-No, no, no.
149
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,551
l'm just saying, bang the teacher.
150
00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:43,751
Why does he make everything
so complicated?
151
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,908
Here we go.
152
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,674
''Blunderbuss. ''
153
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,149
Very elegant use of my ''under. ''
154
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,389
Thank you.
155
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,957
Boy. l have more vowels
than a Honolulu phone book.
156
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,512
You're so clever, Alan.
157
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,911
Thank you. You am smart too.
158
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:13,915
-Hey, Alan, can l talk to you for a sec?
-Sure. Excuse me.
159
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,638
Hurry back.
160
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,029
What's up?
161
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,590
-You tell me.
-Nothing, we're just playing Scrabble.
162
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:23,875
And you're right.
163
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,669
-There's nothing to feel guilty about.
-Good to know. Because Kandi's here.
164
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,431
Oh, okay.
165
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:35,949
lt's not a problem.
Here's what we do.
166
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,873
-We?
-Come on, work with me.
167
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,509
You go cover for me with Kandi
and l'll get Francine the hell out of here.
168
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,671
But there was nothing
to feel guilty about.
169
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,593
You know that and l know that,
now go lie to Kandi about it.
170
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,757
Fine, l'll tell her you went to Staples
to see Roger.
171
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,717
Who?
172
00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,959
-Hey, why don't we walk on the beach.
-What about the game?
173
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,395
Screw the game, l concede.
You win, well-played.
174
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,356
All right.
175
00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:08,033
lt is a beautiful night.
176
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,953
Yeah, yeah. Let's go enjoy it
on the beach. Chop-chop.
177
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,309
-Kandi?
-What?
178
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,118
Alan must have slipped out.
179
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,999
-You're lying to me, Charlie.
-No, l'm not.
180
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,718
Oh, okay.
181
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,996
Wait, wait. Don't you wanna know
where he is?
182
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,993
-Where who is?
-Alan.
183
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,594
Sure, why not.
184
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:37,317
All right. The truth is. . .
185
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,994
. . .Alan is out trying to find
the perfect gift for you.
186
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,593
-Really?
-Yes.
187
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:46,038
He wants to surprise you
with something extremely expensive.
188
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:48,994
Can you give me a hint?
189
00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,673
Well, let's see.
190
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,910
lt's something
that's a girl's best friend. . .
191
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,799
. . .and looks good
wrapped around their neck.
192
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,357
l'm getting a monkey?
193
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,873
No, no. Sweet Lord.
194
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,632
A diamond necklace.
195
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,195
That's nice too.
196
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,990
Just remember,
you didn't hear it from me.
197
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,991
Then who did l hear it from?
198
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,795
Nobody.
199
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,076
When he gives it to you,
act surprised.
200
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,470
Don't worry, l'll be really surprised.
201
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,995
Good. Good. Good.
202
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,720
So will he.
203
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,832
That's-- That's-- That's terrific.
204
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,389
-Do you wanna hear it again?
-No.
205
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,516
We don't want you
to strain your voice.
206
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:10,830
Do you think l'm gonna do okay
at the audition?
207
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,639
-You never know how these things go.
-Yeah.
208
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,793
Just hope l have
a decent piano player.
209
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,200
l thought you were working with him.
What's the problem?
210
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,669
Okay, there's a technical term
we musicians use.
211
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,959
Jake stinks.
212
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,032
Well, is there anything we can do?
213
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,158
We can hope ''stinks''
suddenly becomes popular.
214
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,390
But l wouldn't count on it.
215
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:41,030
Oh, by the way, you need
to buy Kandi a diamond necklace.
216
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,679
What?
217
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,752
You told me to cover.
l said you were out buying her jewelry.
218
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,478
That's all you could think of?
219
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:52,159
Well, l could think of a lot of things
but only one made me laugh.
220
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,838
l can't afford to buy her jewelry.
221
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,191
l know.
222
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,552
That's what makes it funny.
223
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,594
Must have been so expensive.
224
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,990
Yeah.
225
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:15,312
You do realize this entitles you
to extra-special bonus sex.
226
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,275
What is extra-special bonus sex?
227
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,360
lt's whatever you want it to be.
228
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:24,675
That sounds like fun.
229
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,873
Go away.
230
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,189
Okay, l'll just play Scrabble
till you're ready.
231
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,318
Give me a sec.
232
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,871
Please don't tell me Francine is here.
233
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,073
Okay.
234
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,912
Wait, wait, wait.
235
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,069
Francine is here?
236
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,310
-Yeah, you want me to cover for you?
-Yes.
237
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,708
l'm on it.
238
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,758
Wait. Charlie, l'm begging you.
239
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,148
No more jewelry.
240
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,198
Don't worry. lt's not funny twice.
241
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,958
Sorry, he must have gone out.
242
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,273
Oh, okay. Tell him l stopped by.
243
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,710
Francine, wait.
244
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:13,915
l can't do this.
245
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:15,549
Do what?
246
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,872
l'm not a good liar.
247
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,868
l know where he is,
l'm just not supposed to tell you.
248
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,995
The thing is, Alan does
a lot of charity work.
249
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,318
-Really?
-Oh, yeah.
250
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,951
Right now he's down
at the nursing home. . .
251
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,236
. . .giving sponge baths to old people.
252
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:39,430
They don't go out a lot
so they tend to get dusty.
253
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,069
l had no idea.
254
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,872
ln fact, just the other night
he was down on skid row. . .
255
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,112
. . .teaching salsa dancing
to crack addicts.
256
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,319
Oh, my goodness.
257
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,233
They have the energy,
they just lack the focus.
258
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,630
But l think-- l think what he's
proudest of is his work with the kids.
259
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,394
He takes runaways forced to live
on the streets. . .
260
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,755
. . .and teaches them how to live
in the woods.
261
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:11,839
l don't really see the point but those
little urchins seem to thrive in the wild.
262
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,070
lt's like he's a saint.
263
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,073
You must be so proud to have him
as your brother.
264
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,433
Well, truth be told,
he does bring me a lot of joy.
265
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,231
Thank you for telling me this, Charlie.
266
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,470
You're welcome.
267
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,029
Just promise you won't
embarrass him bringing it up.
268
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:33,318
Not a word.
l just hope l can be worthy of him.
269
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,791
And the plot moistens.
270
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:46,552
Oh, that's terrific, buddy.
l am so proud of you.
271
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,711
Yeah, sure, l'll tell him.
272
00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,838
Oh, all right. Love you. Bye-bye.
273
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,115
Guess what.
274
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,192
Jake just got the lead
in the school musical.
275
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,873
The lead?
276
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,998
What happened, did every other kid
in school get mono?
277
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,312
No, l think it was Francine.
278
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,233
l think she cast Jake
because of our relationship.
279
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,393
You mean it's gotten physical?
You're sleeping his way to the top?
280
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,917
No, no.
Nothing happened between us.
281
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:17,311
-But l think she's fallen for me.
-Really?
282
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,913
What makes you think that?
283
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,916
Well, l had lunch with her today
and she was looking at me with. . .
284
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,718
. . .l don't know. . .
285
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,189
. . .worship in her eyes.
286
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,032
Like l was some kind of--
287
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,357
-Saint?
-Yes, yes.
288
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,309
How did you know?
289
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,037
That's how l think of you.
290
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,839
Very funny. l've been
doing my best not to lead her on. . .
291
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,278
. . .but l guess l just underestimated
my allure.
292
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,229
Say that again.
293
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,917
-What?
-That last part.
294
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,150
You mean,
l underestimated my allure?
295
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,751
Yeah, that's it.
296
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,551
l'm sorry, am l missing something?
297
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,872
No, not a thing.
298
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,155
Well, good.
299
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,709
You see, Alan. That's how you lie.
300
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,510
Pretty exciting, huh? Opening night.
301
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,430
Well, having seen the previews,
l'm betting closing night too.
302
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,951
Boy, this brings back memories.
303
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,351
Sixth grade was the happiest
two years of my life.
304
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,359
lt's the finger.
305
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,996
Excuse me.
306
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,595
So, Kandi, what's your
favorite musical?
307
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,478
The trombone.
308
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,871
l can't believe you brought her here.
309
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,758
l had to, Jake invited her.
310
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,997
ls that a diamond necklace?
You never gave me a diamond necklace.
311
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,789
Yeah, well, you never gave me
extra-special bonus sex.
312
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,279
-Hi, Charlie.
-Hi.
313
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,556
-Who's this?
-This? Oh, this is Kandi.
314
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,153
Hi, l'm with Alan.
315
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,553
Are you one of those young people
he takes care of?
316
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,759
Yep, yep, yep. Good old Saint Alan.
Just can't do enough for the kids.
317
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,036
Look at this diamond necklace
he gave me.
318
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,831
He gave you a diamond necklace?
319
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,039
Don't get the wrong idea,
it wasn't to get me to have sex.
320
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:25,438
l was already doing
everything he wanted.
321
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,353
l am as shocked as you are.
322
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,553
What was that about?
323
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,632
Funny story. l'll tell you later.
324
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,711
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325
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,871
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