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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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[Door bell]
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00:00:04,102 --> 00:00:05,838
- Ding dong.
- Hey, Mom.
4
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:10,576
Ellie! Grandma's here! She's
gonna take you to school!
5
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:13,632
And before you say anything, yes,
I'm wearing this jacket today.
6
00:00:13,633 --> 00:00:16,268
Oh, if you say so. What is that, taupe?
7
00:00:16,269 --> 00:00:20,774
No, it's British military khaki,
and stop making that face because...
8
00:00:20,775 --> 00:00:23,390
I'm not changing it.
9
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,843
What? What are you... what are
you pointing that face at now?
10
00:00:25,844 --> 00:00:30,133
Nothing. I'm just standing here being
a person, looking at a filthy kitchen.
11
00:00:30,134 --> 00:00:33,351
Ellie was supposed to do the dishes last
night, but she must have fallen asleep.
12
00:00:33,352 --> 00:00:35,686
Tight ship you're running, leftenant.
13
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:38,400
Well, I'm not hearing that all day.
14
00:00:38,401 --> 00:00:42,226
- Did you make your bed?
- If you don't open my door, yes.
15
00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:45,391
Sorry I overslept. We stayed
up late watching Westside Story,
16
00:00:45,392 --> 00:00:47,831
and didn't get to bed until
after the dance murders.
17
00:00:47,832 --> 00:00:50,901
[Snaps fingers rhythmically]
18
00:00:50,902 --> 00:00:53,837
[Snaps fingers rhythmically]
19
00:00:53,838 --> 00:00:55,805
Pow, pow, dig-a-dig-a pow, pow!
20
00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:58,307
Oh, you got me!
21
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:01,744
Thank you. The Sean
Harrison breakfast players.
22
00:01:01,745 --> 00:01:05,048
By the way, I need your credit card to
rent a snowboard for my trip this weekend.
23
00:01:05,049 --> 00:01:07,030
- Yeah, my wallet's upstairs.
- Weekend trip?
24
00:01:07,031 --> 00:01:09,811
Ellie and some friends are going
snowboarding for the first time.
25
00:01:09,812 --> 00:01:13,705
- I'm so excited!
- [High pitched scream]
26
00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:16,824
Oh, my God, she has your scream.
27
00:01:16,825 --> 00:01:19,227
So she oversleeps,
doesn't do her chores,
28
00:01:19,228 --> 00:01:21,496
and instead of grounding her,
you give her a credit card?
29
00:01:21,497 --> 00:01:25,233
You should do play-by-play
for the Chicago bummers.
30
00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:27,468
I'm just saying, she
doesn't take you seriously.
31
00:01:27,469 --> 00:01:28,951
She takes me seriously.
32
00:01:28,952 --> 00:01:31,219
You're just jealous because I'm fun,
33
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:34,542
whereas you withheld approval if I
didn't alphabetize the spice rack.
34
00:01:34,543 --> 00:01:37,363
Oh, you loved it.
35
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,047
Yeah, I did.
36
00:01:40,048 --> 00:01:45,125
But I can be plenty tough on
Ellie if I have to be. Trust me.
37
00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,905
Honey, I need you to do
these dishes now, please.
38
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:51,157
- But I'll be late for school.
- That's valid. Off you go.
39
00:01:51,158 --> 00:01:55,298
You're as soft as a baby's bottom.
40
00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:56,697
[Sighs]
41
00:01:56,698 --> 00:01:58,932
Ellie, hang on.
42
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:01,133
You're gonna have to
chip in more around here.
43
00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:02,534
Whatever. I'll see you at dinner.
44
00:02:02,535 --> 00:02:05,705
No, I'll see you at dinner,
because tonight you're gonna cook.
45
00:02:05,706 --> 00:02:08,474
And if you don't, you don't get
to go on your trip this weekend.
46
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:10,209
What? That's insane.
47
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:14,388
That is insane, but it's happening
now because I just said it.
48
00:02:14,389 --> 00:02:16,482
Fine, I'll be in the car.
49
00:02:16,483 --> 00:02:19,417
Oh, and your new taupe
jacket is trying too hard.
50
00:02:19,418 --> 00:02:22,958
It's British military khaki.
51
00:02:23,365 --> 00:02:24,814
Did you see that?
52
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,993
I am one bad ass bottom.
53
00:02:27,994 --> 00:02:30,895
That, um... that came out wrong.
54
00:02:30,896 --> 00:02:33,097
You're never gonna take that trip away.
55
00:02:33,098 --> 00:02:35,532
It's too important to her.
Here's what's gonna happen.
56
00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:38,035
There'll be no meal tonight,
but you'll let her go anyway,
57
00:02:38,036 --> 00:02:40,624
and then she'll know
what a pushover you are.
58
00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:44,477
I am trying so hard not to dangle
you off the balcony right now.
59
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:46,398
[
]
60
00:02:48,346 --> 00:02:50,647
So, either Ellie's
gonna cook dinner tonight
61
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,882
or she doesn't get to go on
her ski trip this weekend.
62
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:55,952
I can be bad cop. I've done it before.
63
00:02:55,953 --> 00:02:57,720
At certain costume parties.
64
00:02:57,721 --> 00:02:59,695
Okay, that was naughty cop.
65
00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:02,197
But if you ground Ellie you're
gonna have to stay in town,
66
00:03:02,198 --> 00:03:04,135
and we're supposed to
go to Courtney's wedding.
67
00:03:04,136 --> 00:03:05,927
Oh, my God, I forgot
that's this weekend.
68
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:08,045
I need you there.
She's my oldest friend.
69
00:03:08,046 --> 00:03:11,203
You know how much I hate her.
70
00:03:11,204 --> 00:03:13,601
How did you pick now to
go all tough on Ellie?
71
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:16,434
Because my Mom made me.
72
00:03:16,435 --> 00:03:18,151
But she's right.
73
00:03:18,152 --> 00:03:20,364
Ellie should pitch in
more, make some meals.
74
00:03:20,365 --> 00:03:23,811
She has to learn that food just doesn't
magically appear every time you're hungry.
75
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:26,580
- Your lunch is here.
- Oh, thank God.
76
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,816
I'm starving. Thank you, Stavros.
77
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,151
- $28.50.
- Yeah.
78
00:03:30,152 --> 00:03:32,153
Hello, my future girlfriend, Liz.
79
00:03:32,154 --> 00:03:33,721
It's not happening, Stavros.
80
00:03:33,722 --> 00:03:37,456
For you. For me it has already begun.
81
00:03:37,457 --> 00:03:40,560
Things were so much less stressful
with Ellie when I was the weekend Dad.
82
00:03:40,561 --> 00:03:41,661
Here. I need some change.
83
00:03:41,662 --> 00:03:44,111
You're doing fine,
Sean. Ellie loves you.
84
00:03:44,112 --> 00:03:47,548
I know, but I want her to keep liking
me and if I ground her, she'll hate me.
85
00:03:47,549 --> 00:03:49,710
Parenting is not a popularity contest.
86
00:03:49,711 --> 00:03:52,836
Children need boundaries.
87
00:03:52,837 --> 00:03:54,974
They're not the only ones.
88
00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:59,042
For instance, I know a certain delivery
guy who thinks he's a family therapist.
89
00:03:59,043 --> 00:04:01,451
Liz, we will be more
firm with our children.
90
00:04:01,452 --> 00:04:06,384
Yes, we will argue, but we
will never go to bed angry.
91
00:04:06,385 --> 00:04:09,220
Hey, Sean, I was hoping I
could skip out early on Friday.
92
00:04:09,221 --> 00:04:11,392
Our band's got our biggest gig ever.
93
00:04:11,393 --> 00:04:13,735
Sure, we'll cover for you.
Follow your dreams, man.
94
00:04:13,736 --> 00:04:15,413
Can't be a bird if you don't fly.
95
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:17,514
Ostrich.
96
00:04:18,281 --> 00:04:20,865
Okay ostriches don't fly, but
the point is you can leave early.
97
00:04:20,866 --> 00:04:22,050
- Thanks, Sean.
- Yeah.
98
00:04:22,051 --> 00:04:24,530
Chicken, turkey, penguin.
99
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:27,051
Sean, a word.
100
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:31,875
Sean, I overheard you
giving Hunter time off.
101
00:04:31,876 --> 00:04:34,064
Why don't we all just skip
out at noon like the French
102
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,622
and spend our days having
tiny sandwiches and affairs?
103
00:04:37,623 --> 00:04:41,304
I know you're being sarcastic,
but that sounds amazing.
104
00:04:41,305 --> 00:04:43,138
Sean, as your mentor...
105
00:04:43,139 --> 00:04:46,222
- Mentor?
- You're welcome.
106
00:04:46,223 --> 00:04:49,591
I'm going to give you a piece of advice
to make your employees more productive.
107
00:04:49,592 --> 00:04:52,394
You have got to stop coddling them
and start messing with their heads.
108
00:04:52,395 --> 00:04:55,082
Keep them off balance and paranoid.
I'm thinking about firing you.
109
00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:59,000
No, I'm not. Am I? You don't know.
110
00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:02,203
Max, you don't get the best out
of people by playing mind games.
111
00:05:02,204 --> 00:05:04,172
You have to be honest and encouraging
112
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:08,359
like my imaginary Father,
Tim Gunn, on Project Runway.
113
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,342
It sounds to me like
someone would like to wager.
114
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,653
How does that sound like that?
115
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:15,149
You're on!
116
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:19,181
I will bet you that I can get Hunter
to voluntarily skip his precious gig
117
00:05:19,182 --> 00:05:21,239
and beg me to work all weekend.
118
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,506
And just to make it more interesting,
119
00:05:23,507 --> 00:05:26,037
I will even get him to throw one
of your beloved muffins at you.
120
00:05:26,038 --> 00:05:27,091
[Sniffs]
121
00:05:27,092 --> 00:05:30,930
Um, let's call that your muffin now.
122
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,600
And I don't wanna treat Hunter like
a lab rat in some deranged experiment.
123
00:05:34,601 --> 00:05:36,435
Oh, goody. That'll be my job.
124
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,537
You may set the terms of the wager.
125
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,008
[Chuckles]
126
00:05:40,009 --> 00:05:41,598
All right, fine.
127
00:05:41,599 --> 00:05:44,079
If you fail and Hunter goes to his gig,
128
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,571
then you have to say one nice
thing to everyone in the office.
129
00:05:46,572 --> 00:05:49,572
Oh, ha ha! Fiendish.
130
00:05:49,581 --> 00:05:52,732
And if I succeed, you must
tell one mean truth to everyone.
131
00:05:52,733 --> 00:05:56,848
And neither one of us can tell Hunter
what we're doing, that would spoil the fun.
132
00:05:56,849 --> 00:05:58,292
What fun?
133
00:05:58,293 --> 00:05:59,324
Exactly!
134
00:05:59,325 --> 00:06:04,125
What fun... we will
have... when we do this!
135
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,851
[
]
136
00:06:07,795 --> 00:06:09,360
Hunter.
137
00:06:09,361 --> 00:06:12,964
Big H. The H-bomb. There he is.
138
00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:16,100
I understand that Sean gave you some
time off to pursue your musical dreams.
139
00:06:16,101 --> 00:06:19,408
- I hope that's okay, Max.
- Oh, absolutely.
140
00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:20,649
Dreams are important.
141
00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:23,205
In fact, why don't you take
the rest of today off as well?
142
00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:24,534
Why would I do that?
143
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:27,390
Well... Sean's been telling me
how important your music is to you.
144
00:06:27,391 --> 00:06:29,192
I want you to have
plenty of time to prepare,
145
00:06:29,193 --> 00:06:34,037
so go and write the next
"We Built This City".
146
00:06:34,038 --> 00:06:36,784
But you never want people
to leave early, Max.
147
00:06:36,785 --> 00:06:38,633
Oh, no, but Sean has convinced me
148
00:06:38,634 --> 00:06:41,203
that you need to fly free
like a beautiful songbird.
149
00:06:41,204 --> 00:06:45,044
So go. Go and don't look back.
150
00:06:49,971 --> 00:06:53,271
I said don't look back.
151
00:06:55,235 --> 00:07:00,935
Oh, I shall peel back your
skull and snack on your mind.
152
00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:04,011
Hey, Mom, what are you doing here?
153
00:07:04,012 --> 00:07:07,260
I came by to see if Ellie had
made dinner. It appears she hasn't.
154
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,796
Thank God I have an
emergency burrito in my purse.
155
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,665
Ellie, come down here, please.
156
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,670
Let's not jump to conclusions.
157
00:07:14,671 --> 00:07:18,671
Maybe she'll walk down the
stairs carrying a giant ham.
158
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,605
You see how you've boxed yourself in?
159
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,067
You take away her trip,
she'll be impossible.
160
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:26,245
If you back down, she'll know
she can do whatever she wants.
161
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:31,183
She'll end up with more rings in
her nose than a shower curtain.
162
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:34,085
Hi, Dad. Hi, Grandma. I
know, dinnertime. I'm on it.
163
00:07:34,086 --> 00:07:36,087
Oh, thank God. You see this?
164
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,723
My responsible child. My perfect child.
165
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:40,558
My Julia Child.
166
00:07:40,559 --> 00:07:42,939
And you were worried.
167
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,763
But I knew all along she
would rise to the challenge,
168
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:48,699
put the effort in, and make
us a delicious, homemade...
169
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:51,520
[Can opener whirs]
170
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:56,754
Oh, crap, she's half-assing it
with a can of soup, isn't she?
171
00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:58,341
Hey, hey.
172
00:07:58,342 --> 00:07:59,409
Soupie!
173
00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:01,811
- Yes?
- Honey, I'm sorry, okay,
174
00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:05,147
but opening a can of Daddy's
special flu and hangover soup
175
00:08:05,148 --> 00:08:08,417
does not count as making dinner.
176
00:08:08,418 --> 00:08:10,119
Oh! And so...
177
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,460
Finish her.
178
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,456
I'm afraid your weekend trip is...
179
00:08:14,457 --> 00:08:17,202
No, no, no, wait. No. You
didn't tell me the rules.
180
00:08:17,203 --> 00:08:21,861
I didn't know I was supposed
to make some big, fancy meal.
181
00:08:21,862 --> 00:08:23,262
You're right! She's right.
182
00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:25,615
You can't punish someone
who didn't know the rules.
183
00:08:25,616 --> 00:08:28,836
That's how I got out of getting
caned for chewing gum in Singapore.
184
00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:32,112
Okay, one more chance. Tomorrow
night, if you don't make a dinner
185
00:08:32,113 --> 00:08:35,759
that takes some effort,
your trip is off.
186
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:41,660
Fair enough. Because I just realized
this is a can of stewed tomatoes.
187
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:46,486
I know, I know, she blew it,
but I didn't tell her the rules.
188
00:08:46,487 --> 00:08:48,512
You're right, you're right.
189
00:08:48,513 --> 00:08:51,491
She should have figured it
out, but I was tough on her.
190
00:08:51,492 --> 00:08:53,594
Okay, maybe not that tough.
191
00:08:53,595 --> 00:08:58,943
But if she doesn't make dinner tomorrow
night by 7:30 sharp, that's it, no trip.
192
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:03,744
You don't believe me?
Come tomorrow and see.
193
00:09:03,974 --> 00:09:06,974
What? Something else?
194
00:09:07,302 --> 00:09:10,842
I've said too much already.
195
00:09:17,416 --> 00:09:20,476
"To Hunter from Max"?
196
00:09:21,316 --> 00:09:23,589
Why would Max leave
me a box of muffin mix?
197
00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:24,795
Open it.
198
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:28,396
Maybe there's a ring inside.
199
00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:31,415
Sean!
200
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,732
Max left me a box of muffin mix on my
desk, then he sent me home early yesterday.
201
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:37,589
What the hell's going on? Am I
supposed to make him muffins now?
202
00:09:37,590 --> 00:09:40,103
I cannot tell you.
Just don't get paranoid.
203
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:42,205
- So something is going on?
- I cannot say that.
204
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,174
- But you did say that.
- I cannot say.
205
00:09:44,175 --> 00:09:46,322
- What's happening?
- Okay.
206
00:09:46,323 --> 00:09:49,648
Look, I know how much you love
music, so go to your gig on Friday.
207
00:09:49,649 --> 00:09:53,015
But whatever you do, do
not throw a muffin at me.
208
00:09:53,016 --> 00:09:55,017
Why would I throw a muffin at you?
209
00:09:55,018 --> 00:09:58,258
[Whispers] I cannot say.
210
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,886
[
]
211
00:10:02,313 --> 00:10:03,503
I got your email.
212
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:06,346
What do you mean if Ellie doesn't
cook dinner tonight you're gonna have
213
00:10:06,347 --> 00:10:09,760
to ground her, stay at home with her
this weekend, and miss the wedding?
214
00:10:09,761 --> 00:10:11,205
What part didn't you understand?
215
00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:14,641
Because it's arguably the
clearest email I've ever written.
216
00:10:14,642 --> 00:10:16,176
Oh, I understood it.
217
00:10:16,177 --> 00:10:18,814
But if I have to go to
Courtney's wedding without a date,
218
00:10:18,815 --> 00:10:21,581
I'm going to screw the groom,
wear the wedding cake as a hat,
219
00:10:21,582 --> 00:10:24,867
and hang myself in the photo booth.
220
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:28,054
[Laughs] That's gonna
be a funny picture.
221
00:10:28,055 --> 00:10:30,359
Now, come on. I need your help.
222
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,361
Pretend to be Ellie so I
can practice being tough.
223
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:34,062
Why should I help you?
224
00:10:34,063 --> 00:10:37,065
Because you're my friend and that's
what friends do for each other?
225
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:38,700
All right, Sean.
226
00:10:38,701 --> 00:10:40,068
You want my help, you got it.
227
00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:42,270
But teenage girls can be savages.
228
00:10:42,271 --> 00:10:45,118
They fight dirty. You ready for that?
229
00:10:45,119 --> 00:10:48,710
Enough trash talk. Let's just do this.
230
00:10:48,711 --> 00:10:51,579
Hi, honey, I'm home, and
I don't see any dinner.
231
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:55,182
I made it, but then I gave it to a
homeless person who needs it more.
232
00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:57,883
Prove I didn't.
233
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,488
She... she... she wouldn't say that.
234
00:11:00,489 --> 00:11:05,392
Oh, I'm just getting
warmed up. [Snaps] Again.
235
00:11:05,393 --> 00:11:08,896
Hi, honey, I'm home and I don't
see any dinner, so no trip.
236
00:11:08,897 --> 00:11:11,398
[Gasps] That's a bag of crap, Dad!
237
00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:15,239
You're a big, fat bag of crap!
238
00:11:16,454 --> 00:11:20,009
Wow, she's a lot more hostile
than I remember, but, I'll play.
239
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:21,947
Okay, honey, I know you're mad...
240
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,550
Yeah, I'm mad because my
Mom took a job in New York
241
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,210
and I chose to stay here with
you, and I totally regret it
242
00:11:27,211 --> 00:11:29,425
because all you care about
are your stupid rules,
243
00:11:29,426 --> 00:11:31,150
and you don't understand me at all.
244
00:11:31,151 --> 00:11:37,051
And now you have to punish me
because you're Grandma's little bitch!
245
00:11:37,423 --> 00:11:40,592
Oh, what's the matter? You
gonna cry? Daddy gonna cry now?
246
00:11:40,593 --> 00:11:43,243
Oh, my God. Yes!
247
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:47,744
Wow! If she says any of that, I'm dead.
248
00:11:48,738 --> 00:11:54,638
Well, then why risk it? Come
to the wedding, we'll have fun.
249
00:11:56,441 --> 00:11:58,876
Okay, remember, you're
here for moral support,
250
00:11:58,877 --> 00:12:02,279
not to talk me into letting Ellie slide
so I can go to the wedding with you.
251
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:06,846
Got it. Moral support. That's
what "plus ones" do, Sean.
252
00:12:06,847 --> 00:12:09,291
Way to keep swinging.
253
00:12:09,292 --> 00:12:12,232
I smell... [inhales]
254
00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:15,058
Nothing. I smell nothing.
255
00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:17,594
I can't believe this. She
didn't make dinner again!
256
00:12:17,595 --> 00:12:18,790
Ellie!
257
00:12:18,791 --> 00:12:21,496
Wait! Maybe there's
something in the oven.
258
00:12:21,497 --> 00:12:23,110
Ellie.
259
00:12:23,111 --> 00:12:26,891
Oh, look. A beautiful casserole.
260
00:12:28,337 --> 00:12:30,341
- And your plan is...
- Half-baked.
261
00:12:30,342 --> 00:12:34,009
Which is more than I can say
for her pretend casserole.
262
00:12:34,010 --> 00:12:38,294
Damn it! Now I have to be bad cop.
Why does she put me in this position?
263
00:12:38,295 --> 00:12:41,515
Sorry, there was an emergency. Sarah
got into this huge fight with her Mom.
264
00:12:41,516 --> 00:12:44,084
She was super-upset. I
couldn't just leave her.
265
00:12:44,085 --> 00:12:46,753
- Ellie, we had a deal.
- I know, and I blew it.
266
00:12:46,754 --> 00:12:49,489
And you blew it, so you
may not go on your trip.
267
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,547
- I understand.
- No matter how much you fight me.
268
00:12:51,548 --> 00:12:52,955
- I'm not fighting you.
- Or blame it on your friend Sarah.
269
00:12:52,956 --> 00:12:54,480
- I'm not blaming Sarah.
- You may not...
270
00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:57,563
Go on my trip? I know.
271
00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:59,465
I gave you plenty of chances.
272
00:12:59,466 --> 00:13:00,759
Sean...
273
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,860
I think something's happening here.
274
00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:06,864
I think Ellie's...
taking responsibility.
275
00:13:06,865 --> 00:13:10,434
I gotta say, El, this is not
how I would have played it.
276
00:13:10,435 --> 00:13:12,491
Tell me what's going on.
277
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:13,667
[Sighs]
278
00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:15,540
Sarah's always getting
out of doing her chores,
279
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:17,850
and her parents are always
mad and fighting with her.
280
00:13:17,851 --> 00:13:19,585
I just don't want us to be like that.
281
00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:25,486
I blew it, so I'm just gonna accept my
punishment and try not to screw up again.
282
00:13:28,729 --> 00:13:32,296
Oh, my God, you're fantastic child.
283
00:13:32,297 --> 00:13:34,928
I wanna be fun Dad,
but when you slack off,
284
00:13:34,929 --> 00:13:37,303
I turn into harsh Dad,
which makes me feel like...
285
00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:39,279
- Sorry, Dad.
- Yes! "Sorry Dad".
286
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:43,241
Who then turns into
Kahlua and vodka Dad.
287
00:13:43,242 --> 00:13:45,568
No, I meant I'm sorry.
288
00:13:45,569 --> 00:13:51,089
I'll do more without you
having to bug me. I promise.
289
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,640
Good. [Pat pat]
290
00:13:53,641 --> 00:13:54,786
You can go on your trip.
291
00:13:54,787 --> 00:13:57,753
- What? Really?
- Yes. Because I believe in you.
292
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,119
Hey!
293
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,479
We all get to go away this weekend!
294
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,061
Come on, let's go out and
celebrate. My part of dinner's on me.
295
00:14:04,062 --> 00:14:06,988
Wait, wait, wait. We can't
go out. My Mom's coming over.
296
00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:08,801
If she sees that you
didn't cook dinner and I
297
00:14:08,802 --> 00:14:10,768
didn't ground you, I'll
never hear the end of it.
298
00:14:10,769 --> 00:14:12,401
You're right. Even after you're dead,
299
00:14:12,402 --> 00:14:16,072
she's gonna write a note
and slip it in your casket.
300
00:14:16,073 --> 00:14:18,788
And, yes, I think she's
going to outlive you.
301
00:14:18,789 --> 00:14:22,144
All right, we'll order Greek food from the
place on the corner and say you made it.
302
00:14:22,145 --> 00:14:24,646
Shish kebob, rice salad... you
can make those things, right?
303
00:14:24,647 --> 00:14:27,482
If they show up at the door, I could.
304
00:14:27,483 --> 00:14:32,403
Where was that "can do"
attitude two days ago?
305
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:35,050
[
]
306
00:14:35,532 --> 00:14:37,257
[Knocking on door]
307
00:14:37,258 --> 00:14:40,678
Look what I made for you.
308
00:14:40,794 --> 00:14:42,762
Muffins. For me.
309
00:14:42,763 --> 00:14:44,091
You betcha.
310
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,765
How dare you!
311
00:14:45,766 --> 00:14:48,432
That... right there is
an unexpected reaction.
312
00:14:48,433 --> 00:14:50,580
I assumed that when you gave
me the muffin mix, you...
313
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,563
I did not give you muffin mix.
314
00:14:52,564 --> 00:14:55,473
I hate muffins. Muffins
killed my Grandmother.
315
00:14:55,474 --> 00:14:57,709
- They what now?
- She worked at a bakery.
316
00:14:57,710 --> 00:15:00,408
She was adding blueberries to
the vat, and she lost her footing.
317
00:15:00,409 --> 00:15:02,925
They say a batter death
is a peaceful death, but...
318
00:15:02,926 --> 00:15:04,680
Try telling that to an
old woman whose lungs
319
00:15:04,681 --> 00:15:06,784
are filling with blueberries and yeast.
320
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:09,284
But there was a note on the box
that said it was from you, Max.
321
00:15:09,285 --> 00:15:11,189
A clever forgery!
322
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,457
Obviously, someone is trying
to get you to offend me
323
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:14,982
perhaps so that I will fire you.
324
00:15:14,983 --> 00:15:15,997
Fire me?
325
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,418
Oh, no, but who would
want to get you fired, and
326
00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:23,453
who would know about my
tragic muffin history? Nobody.
327
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:24,701
Except Sean.
328
00:15:24,702 --> 00:15:26,931
- It couldn't be Sean.
- No, no, no, no.
329
00:15:26,932 --> 00:15:28,370
He loves you. Although...
330
00:15:28,371 --> 00:15:29,318
Although what?
331
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,273
No, no, no, no, no! Couldn't be Sean.
332
00:15:31,274 --> 00:15:32,875
- Although...
- What!
333
00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:35,184
Well, he does keep saying
that you've got to fly free
334
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,092
and pursue your musical dreams.
335
00:15:37,093 --> 00:15:38,981
Maybe he thinks the only
way that you'll do that
336
00:15:38,982 --> 00:15:40,548
is if you're forced out of the nest.
337
00:15:40,549 --> 00:15:42,381
But I don't want to leave the nest.
338
00:15:42,382 --> 00:15:44,219
And I don't want you to.
339
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,369
But clearly... Sean does.
340
00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:48,690
Well, Sean is wrong! I love the nest.
341
00:15:48,691 --> 00:15:52,060
The nest has health care and
25% off returned merchandise!
342
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:54,413
I know, but like Sean says,
you are better than this place!
343
00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:58,180
No, I am not. I'm exactly
equal to this place.
344
00:15:58,181 --> 00:16:00,234
- Go to your gig!
- You can't make me.
345
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:01,432
I'm not going anywhere.
346
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:06,273
In fact, I'm gonna stay
here and work all weekend!
347
00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,517
Good for you.
348
00:16:07,518 --> 00:16:09,519
Now, get these muffins out of my sight.
349
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,481
I'm so mad at Sean for manipulating
both of us, I might just...
350
00:16:12,482 --> 00:16:15,065
throw one at him, which would
be enormously satisfying. But...
351
00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:18,432
- it's not my fight.
- No, it is not. It's mine.
352
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:19,867
Remember!
353
00:16:19,868 --> 00:16:25,390
People who don't live in
glass houses do throw muffins.
354
00:16:25,391 --> 00:16:28,031
It makes sense.
355
00:16:30,555 --> 00:16:33,134
Okay. Now the kitchen looks
like a meal's been made.
356
00:16:33,135 --> 00:16:36,035
Okay, quick, walk through this.
357
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,336
Ah! Culinary lies by Calvin Klein.
358
00:16:38,337 --> 00:16:40,176
[Knock at door]
359
00:16:40,177 --> 00:16:42,097
- Come in!
- Delivery.
360
00:16:42,098 --> 00:16:43,998
Oh, Stavros, my man, come
in here, quick, quick!
361
00:16:43,999 --> 00:16:46,601
I gotta get this stuff on plates.
My Mom gets here in ten minutes.
362
00:16:46,602 --> 00:16:49,580
Hello, Sean, beautiful
Liz, unruly daughter.
363
00:16:49,581 --> 00:16:52,384
Unruly? What do you
tell people about me?
364
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:55,720
Just focus on your job, please. This is
why the Greek economy's falling apart.
365
00:16:55,721 --> 00:16:57,588
$52.50.
366
00:16:57,589 --> 00:16:59,523
Great. Here.
367
00:16:59,524 --> 00:17:02,644
Why is the door open?
368
00:17:03,094 --> 00:17:05,675
Mom! You're early.
369
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:10,236
Hey, everybody, great
news... Mom's early!
370
00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:12,962
Ooh. Something smells
good. Who's this one?
371
00:17:12,963 --> 00:17:14,270
This? Um...
372
00:17:14,271 --> 00:17:15,976
This is Stavros.
373
00:17:15,977 --> 00:17:17,507
He is Greek.
374
00:17:17,508 --> 00:17:20,459
Uh huh. And why is he here?
375
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:22,291
Because...
376
00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:23,746
He's Liz's boyfriend.
377
00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,787
[Crash]
378
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,235
Opa! We're all happy!
379
00:17:30,236 --> 00:17:32,756
- Opa!
- Opa!
380
00:17:33,684 --> 00:17:36,127
True! He's my boyfriend.
381
00:17:36,128 --> 00:17:38,648
Hands off, Lorna!
382
00:17:38,649 --> 00:17:41,663
Ellie made this Greek
feast in Stavros's honor.
383
00:17:41,664 --> 00:17:44,700
- All by myself.
- Well, wonderful, darling.
384
00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:49,981
So, Stavros, how long have
you and Liz been dating?
385
00:17:51,803 --> 00:17:55,043
Six weeks this Thursday.
386
00:17:57,879 --> 00:18:00,314
She got her heel
caught in a sewer grate.
387
00:18:00,315 --> 00:18:02,362
I saved her life and now...
388
00:18:02,363 --> 00:18:04,943
We are lovers.
389
00:18:07,622 --> 00:18:11,297
While this dinner was to
honor Stavros for his bravery,
390
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,099
unfortunately, he has to go.
391
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,500
I can stay.
392
00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:19,916
Liz, woman, come to me.
393
00:18:20,419 --> 00:18:23,299
I miss your touch.
394
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:28,921
[Laughing] Oh, Stavvles!
395
00:18:28,922 --> 00:18:30,643
You're so great.
396
00:18:30,644 --> 00:18:32,578
I love it when you wear tank tops
397
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:37,799
and the straps get all
lost in your shoulder hair.
398
00:18:39,732 --> 00:18:43,452
So... what do you do, Stavros?
399
00:18:45,318 --> 00:18:48,326
I am a family therapist.
400
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:49,296
[Laughs]
401
00:18:49,297 --> 00:18:51,395
A therapist? Wow.
402
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:55,364
So what would you say to a Father who
never wants to discipline his daughter?
403
00:18:55,365 --> 00:18:57,285
And what would you say to a Mother
404
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:59,888
who thinks she knows
everything about parenting?
405
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,862
And what would you say to a man
whose daughter doesn't cook dinner,
406
00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:05,041
but instead of grounding
her because he can't,
407
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:10,622
orders Greek food and tries
to pass it off as homemade?
408
00:19:11,656 --> 00:19:17,220
I'd say it all means it's time
for you to get your arm off me.
409
00:19:17,221 --> 00:19:19,678
And for me to pay you
and send you on your way.
410
00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:22,152
My only regret is I
didn't order Chinese food,
411
00:19:22,153 --> 00:19:24,847
because Ping Li would have nailed this!
412
00:19:24,848 --> 00:19:28,363
Liz, we will laugh about
this on our honeymoon...
413
00:19:28,364 --> 00:19:32,934
Okay, so Ellie did screw up, but she
took responsibility, and I'm proud of her.
414
00:19:32,935 --> 00:19:34,857
But the deal was you were
supposed to ground her.
415
00:19:34,858 --> 00:19:38,940
No, the deal is she's my daughter,
and I have to do what feels right.
416
00:19:38,941 --> 00:19:41,800
And so far, it's working,
because she's a great kid.
417
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:44,378
So guess what. I'm not grounding her.
418
00:19:44,379 --> 00:19:45,712
I'm grounding you!
419
00:19:45,713 --> 00:19:47,484
- What?
- You heard me.
420
00:19:47,485 --> 00:19:50,116
You cannot give me advice for one week.
421
00:19:50,117 --> 00:19:52,673
That's not fair. I
didn't know the rules.
422
00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:56,622
What? What was that? You
wanna go for two weeks?
423
00:19:56,623 --> 00:19:57,707
Whatever.
424
00:19:57,708 --> 00:20:00,126
- Excuse me?
- Okay, fine!
425
00:20:00,127 --> 00:20:02,962
I will not voice an opinion
about anything for one week.
426
00:20:02,963 --> 00:20:04,820
Excellent! Let's eat.
427
00:20:04,821 --> 00:20:07,132
Ellie slaved all day not making this.
428
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:12,353
Wait till you see what I
didn't make for dessert.
429
00:20:14,107 --> 00:20:15,774
Are you all set for this weekend?
430
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:17,101
Did you pack your dancing shoes?
431
00:20:17,102 --> 00:20:20,433
Uh... I'm never not wearing them.
432
00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:22,848
I'm so happy you're coming with me!
433
00:20:22,849 --> 00:20:24,588
Now dancing to all the single ladies
434
00:20:24,589 --> 00:20:29,749
will be fun instead of
just a pointed observation.
435
00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:34,793
Oh, no. Hunter, I said whatever
you do, do not throw a muffin at me!
436
00:20:34,794 --> 00:20:37,981
Then maybe you shouldn't have given me
that muffin mix and made me think that it
437
00:20:37,982 --> 00:20:40,401
was from Max so that I would
get fired for reminding him
438
00:20:40,402 --> 00:20:44,902
of his Grandmother's
tragic batter death!
439
00:20:45,674 --> 00:20:48,772
Wow, Max has been busy.
440
00:20:48,773 --> 00:20:50,373
Oh. I win.
441
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,599
And if memory serves, the
terms of our wager dictate
442
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,678
that you now must tell
everyone one mean truth.
443
00:20:56,679 --> 00:20:59,048
[Lightly] Come, come.
444
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:01,550
Workers... gather 'round.
445
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:07,236
Sean has something mercilessly frank
to say to everyone in this room.
446
00:21:07,237 --> 00:21:10,417
All right. Here we go.
447
00:21:10,893 --> 00:21:15,033
Max, I think you dye your moustache.
448
00:21:16,132 --> 00:21:18,943
Shut up. Meeting adjourned. Disperse.
449
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:24,844
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450
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