All language subtitles for Sean Saves the World s01e07 The Good, the Bad and the Sean.eng

Subs created by: David Coleman.

[Door bell]

- Ding dong.
- Hey, Mom.

Ellie! Grandma's here! She's
gonna take you to school!

And before you say anything, yes,
I'm wearing this jacket today.

Oh, if you say so. What is that, taupe?

No, it's British military khaki,
and stop making that face because...

I'm not changing it.

What? What are you... what are
you pointing that face at now?

Nothing. I'm just standing here being
a person, looking at a filthy kitchen.

Ellie was supposed to do the dishes last
night, but she must have fallen asleep.

Tight ship you're running, leftenant.

Well, I'm not hearing that all day.

- Did you make your bed?
- If you don't open my door, yes.

Sorry I overslept. We stayed
up late watching Westside Story,

and didn't get to bed until
after the dance murders.

[Snaps fingers rhythmically]

[Snaps fingers rhythmically]

Pow, pow, dig-a-dig-a pow, pow!

Oh, you got me!

Thank you. The Sean
Harrison breakfast players.

By the way, I need your credit card to
rent a snowboard for my trip this weekend.

- Yeah, my wallet's upstairs.
- Weekend trip?

Ellie and some friends are going
snowboarding for the first time.

- I'm so excited!
- [High pitched scream]

Oh, my God, she has your scream.

So she oversleeps,
doesn't do her chores,

and instead of grounding her,
you give her a credit card?

You should do play-by-play
for the Chicago bummers.

I'm just saying, she
doesn't take you seriously.

She takes me seriously.

You're just jealous because I'm fun,

whereas you withheld approval if I
didn't alphabetize the spice rack.

Oh, you loved it.

Yeah, I did.

But I can be plenty tough on
Ellie if I have to be. Trust me.

Honey, I need you to do
these dishes now, please.

- But I'll be late for school.
- That's valid. Off you go.

You're as soft as a baby's bottom.

[Sighs]

Ellie, hang on.

You're gonna have to
chip in more around here.

Whatever. I'll see you at dinner.

No, I'll see you at dinner,
because tonight you're gonna cook.

And if you don't, you don't get
to go on your trip this weekend.

What? That's insane.

That is insane, but it's happening
now because I just said it.

Fine, I'll be in the car.

Oh, and your new taupe
jacket is trying too hard.

It's British military khaki.

Did you see that?

I am one bad ass bottom.

That, um... that came out wrong.

You're never gonna take that trip away.

It's too important to her.
Here's what's gonna happen.

There'll be no meal tonight,
but you'll let her go anyway,

and then she'll know
what a pushover you are.

I am trying so hard not to dangle
you off the balcony right now.

[
]

So, either Ellie's
gonna cook dinner tonight

or she doesn't get to go on
her ski trip this weekend.

I can be bad cop. I've done it before.

At certain costume parties.

Okay, that was naughty cop.

But if you ground Ellie you're
gonna have to stay in town,

and we're supposed to
go to Courtney's wedding.

Oh, my God, I forgot
that's this weekend.

I need you there.
She's my oldest friend.

You know how much I hate her.

How did you pick now to
go all tough on Ellie?

Because my Mom made me.

But she's right.

Ellie should pitch in
more, make some meals.

She has to learn that food just doesn't
magically appear every time you're hungry.

- Your lunch is here.
- Oh, thank God.

I'm starving. Thank you, Stavros.

- $28.50.
- Yeah.

Hello, my future girlfriend, Liz.

It's not happening, Stavros.

For you. For me it has already begun.

Things were so much less stressful
with Ellie when I was the weekend Dad.

Here. I need some change.

You're doing fine,
Sean. Ellie loves you.

I know, but I want her to keep liking
me and if I ground her, she'll hate me.

Parenting is not a popularity contest.

Children need boundaries.

They're not the only ones.

For instance, I know a certain delivery
guy who thinks he's a family therapist.

Liz, we will be more
firm with our children.

Yes, we will argue, but we
will never go to bed angry.

Hey, Sean, I was hoping I
could skip out early on Friday.

Our band's got our biggest gig ever.

Sure, we'll cover for you.
Follow your dreams, man.

Can't be a bird if you don't fly.

Ostrich.

Okay ostriches don't fly, but
the point is you can leave early.

- Thanks, Sean.
- Yeah.

Chicken, turkey, penguin.

Sean, a word.

Sean, I overheard you
giving Hunter time off.

Why don't we all just skip
out at noon like the French

and spend our days having
tiny sandwiches and affairs?

I know you're being sarcastic,
but that sounds amazing.

Sean, as your mentor...

- Mentor?
- You're welcome.

I'm going to give you a piece of advice
to make your employees more productive.

You have got to stop coddling them
and start messing with their heads.

Keep them off balance and paranoid.
I'm thinking about firing you.

No, I'm not. Am I? You don't know.

Max, you don't get the best out
of people by playing mind games.

You have to be honest and encouraging

like my imaginary Father,
Tim Gunn, on Project Runway.

It sounds to me like
someone would like to wager.

How does that sound like that?

You're on!

I will bet you that I can get Hunter
to voluntarily skip his precious gig

and beg me to work all weekend.

And just to make it more interesting,

I will even get him to throw one
of your beloved muffins at you.

[Sniffs]

Um, let's call that your muffin now.

And I don't wanna treat Hunter like
a lab rat in some deranged experiment.

Oh, goody. That'll be my job.

You may set the terms of the wager.

[Chuckles]

All right, fine.

If you fail and Hunter goes to his gig,

then you have to say one nice
thing to everyone in the office.

Oh, ha ha! Fiendish.

And if I succeed, you must
tell one mean truth to everyone.

And neither one of us can tell Hunter
what we're doing, that would spoil the fun.

What fun?

Exactly!

What fun... we will
have... when we do this!

[
]

Hunter.

Big H. The H-bomb. There he is.

I understand that Sean gave you some
time off to pursue your musical dreams.

- I hope that's okay, Max.
- Oh, absolutely.

Dreams are important.

In fact, why don't you take
the rest of today off as well?

Why would I do that?

Well... Sean's been telling me
how important your music is to you.

I want you to have
plenty of time to prepare,

so go and write the next
"We Built This City".

But you never want people
to leave early, Max.

Oh, no, but Sean has convinced me

that you need to fly free
like a beautiful songbird.

So go. Go and don't look back.

I said don't look back.

Oh, I shall peel back your
skull and snack on your mind.

Hey, Mom, what are you doing here?

I came by to see if Ellie had
made dinner. It appears she hasn't.

Thank God I have an
emergency burrito in my purse.

Ellie, come down here, please.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Maybe she'll walk down the
stairs carrying a giant ham.

You see how you've boxed yourself in?

You take away her trip,
she'll be impossible.

If you back down, she'll know
she can do whatever she wants.

She'll end up with more rings in
her nose than a shower curtain.

Hi, Dad. Hi, Grandma. I
know, dinnertime. I'm on it.

Oh, thank God. You see this?

My responsible child. My perfect child.

My Julia Child.

And you were worried.

But I knew all along she
would rise to the challenge,

put the effort in, and make
us a delicious, homemade...

[Can opener whirs]

Oh, crap, she's half-assing it
with a can of soup, isn't she?

Hey, hey.

Soupie!

- Yes?
- Honey, I'm sorry, okay,

but opening a can of Daddy's
special flu and hangover soup

does not count as making dinner.

Oh! And so...

Finish her.

I'm afraid your weekend trip is...

No, no, no, wait. No. You
didn't tell me the rules.

I didn't know I was supposed
to make some big, fancy meal.

You're right! She's right.

You can't punish someone
who didn't know the rules.

That's how I got out of getting
caned for chewing gum in Singapore.

Okay, one more chance. Tomorrow
night, if you don't make a dinner

that takes some effort,
your trip is off.

Fair enough. Because I just realized
this is a can of stewed tomatoes.

I know, I know, she blew it,
but I didn't tell her the rules.

You're right, you're right.

She should have figured it
out, but I was tough on her.

Okay, maybe not that tough.

But if she doesn't make dinner tomorrow
night by 7:30 sharp, that's it, no trip.

You don't believe me?
Come tomorrow and see.

What? Something else?

I've said too much already.

"To Hunter from Max"?

Why would Max leave
me a box of muffin mix?

Open it.

Maybe there's a ring inside.

Sean!

Max left me a box of muffin mix on my
desk, then he sent me home early yesterday.

What the hell's going on? Am I
supposed to make him muffins now?

I cannot tell you.
Just don't get paranoid.

- So something is going on?
- I cannot say that.

- But you did say that.
- I cannot say.

- What's happening?
- Okay.

Look, I know how much you love
music, so go to your gig on Friday.

But whatever you do, do
not throw a muffin at me.

Why would I throw a muffin at you?

[Whispers] I cannot say.

[
]

I got your email.

What do you mean if Ellie doesn't
cook dinner tonight you're gonna have

to ground her, stay at home with her
this weekend, and miss the wedding?

What part didn't you understand?

Because it's arguably the
clearest email I've ever written.

Oh, I understood it.

But if I have to go to
Courtney's wedding without a date,

I'm going to screw the groom,
wear the wedding cake as a hat,

and hang myself in the photo booth.

[Laughs] That's gonna
be a funny picture.

Now, come on. I need your help.

Pretend to be Ellie so I
can practice being tough.

Why should I help you?

Because you're my friend and that's
what friends do for each other?

All right, Sean.

You want my help, you got it.

But teenage girls can be savages.

They fight dirty. You ready for that?

Enough trash talk. Let's just do this.

Hi, honey, I'm home, and
I don't see any dinner.

I made it, but then I gave it to a
homeless person who needs it more.

Prove I didn't.

She... she... she wouldn't say that.

Oh, I'm just getting
warmed up. [Snaps] Again.

Hi, honey, I'm home and I don't
see any dinner, so no trip.

[Gasps] That's a bag of crap, Dad!

You're a big, fat bag of crap!

Wow, she's a lot more hostile
than I remember, but, I'll play.

Okay, honey, I know you're mad...

Yeah, I'm mad because my
Mom took a job in New York

and I chose to stay here with
you, and I totally regret it

because all you care about
are your stupid rules,

and you don't understand me at all.

And now you have to punish me
because you're Grandma's little bitch!

Oh, what's the matter? You
gonna cry? Daddy gonna cry now?

Oh, my God. Yes!

Wow! If she says any of that, I'm dead.

Well, then why risk it? Come
to the wedding, we'll have fun.

Okay, remember, you're
here for moral support,

not to talk me into letting Ellie slide
so I can go to the wedding with you.

Got it. Moral support. That's
what "plus ones" do, Sean.

Way to keep swinging.

I smell... [inhales]

Nothing. I smell nothing.

I can't believe this. She
didn't make dinner again!

Ellie!

Wait! Maybe there's
something in the oven.

Ellie.

Oh, look. A beautiful casserole.

- And your plan is...
- Half-baked.

Which is more than I can say
for her pretend casserole.

Damn it! Now I have to be bad cop.
Why does she put me in this position?

Sorry, there was an emergency. Sarah
got into this huge fight with her Mom.

She was super-upset. I
couldn't just leave her.

- Ellie, we had a deal.
- I know, and I blew it.

And you blew it, so you
may not go on your trip.

- I understand.
- No matter how much you fight me.

- I'm not fighting you.
- Or blame it on your friend Sarah.

- I'm not blaming Sarah.
- You may not...

Go on my trip? I know.

I gave you plenty of chances.

Sean...

I think something's happening here.

I think Ellie's...
taking responsibility.

I gotta say, El, this is not
how I would have played it.

Tell me what's going on.

[Sighs]

Sarah's always getting
out of doing her chores,

and her parents are always
mad and fighting with her.

I just don't want us to be like that.

I blew it, so I'm just gonna accept my
punishment and try not to screw up again.

Oh, my God, you're fantastic child.

I wanna be fun Dad,
but when you slack off,

I turn into harsh Dad,
which makes me feel like...

- Sorry, Dad.
- Yes! "Sorry Dad".

Who then turns into
Kahlua and vodka Dad.

No, I meant I'm sorry.

I'll do more without you
having to bug me. I promise.

Good. [Pat pat]

You can go on your trip.

- What? Really?
- Yes. Because I believe in you.

Hey!

We all get to go away this weekend!

Come on, let's go out and
celebrate. My part of dinner's on me.

Wait, wait, wait. We can't
go out. My Mom's coming over.

If she sees that you
didn't cook dinner and I

didn't ground you, I'll
never hear the end of it.

You're right. Even after you're dead,

she's gonna write a note
and slip it in your casket.

And, yes, I think she's
going to outlive you.

All right, we'll order Greek food from the
place on the corner and say you made it.

Shish kebob, rice salad... you
can make those things, right?

If they show up at the door, I could.

Where was that "can do"
attitude two days ago?

[
]

[Knocking on door]

Look what I made for you.

Muffins. For me.

You betcha.

How dare you!

That... right there is
an unexpected reaction.

I assumed that when you gave
me the muffin mix, you...

I did not give you muffin mix.

I hate muffins. Muffins
killed my Grandmother.

- They what now?
- She worked at a bakery.

She was adding blueberries to
the vat, and she lost her footing.

They say a batter death
is a peaceful death, but...

Try telling that to an
old woman whose lungs

are filling with blueberries and yeast.

But there was a note on the box
that said it was from you, Max.

A clever forgery!

Obviously, someone is trying
to get you to offend me

perhaps so that I will fire you.

Fire me?

Oh, no, but who would
want to get you fired, and

who would know about my
tragic muffin history? Nobody.

Except Sean.

- It couldn't be Sean.
- No, no, no, no.

He loves you. Although...

Although what?

No, no, no, no, no! Couldn't be Sean.

- Although...
- What!

Well, he does keep saying
that you've got to fly free

and pursue your musical dreams.

Maybe he thinks the only
way that you'll do that

is if you're forced out of the nest.

But I don't want to leave the nest.

And I don't want you to.

But clearly... Sean does.

Well, Sean is wrong! I love the nest.

The nest has health care and
25% off returned merchandise!

I know, but like Sean says,
you are better than this place!

No, I am not. I'm exactly
equal to this place.

- Go to your gig!
- You can't make me.

I'm not going anywhere.

In fact, I'm gonna stay
here and work all weekend!

Good for you.

Now, get these muffins out of my sight.

I'm so mad at Sean for manipulating
both of us, I might just...

throw one at him, which would
be enormously satisfying. But...

- it's not my fight.
- No, it is not. It's mine.

Remember!

People who don't live in
glass houses do throw muffins.

It makes sense.

Okay. Now the kitchen looks
like a meal's been made.

Okay, quick, walk through this.

Ah! Culinary lies by Calvin Klein.

[Knock at door]

- Come in!
- Delivery.

Oh, Stavros, my man, come
in here, quick, quick!

I gotta get this stuff on plates.
My Mom gets here in ten minutes.

Hello, Sean, beautiful
Liz, unruly daughter.

Unruly? What do you
tell people about me?

Just focus on your job, please. This is
why the Greek economy's falling apart.

$52.50.

Great. Here.

Why is the door open?

Mom! You're early.

Hey, everybody, great
news... Mom's early!

Ooh. Something smells
good. Who's this one?

This? Um...

This is Stavros.

He is Greek.

Uh huh. And why is he here?

Because...

He's Liz's boyfriend.

[Crash]

Opa! We're all happy!

- Opa!
- Opa!

True! He's my boyfriend.

Hands off, Lorna!

Ellie made this Greek
feast in Stavros's honor.

- All by myself.
- Well, wonderful, darling.

So, Stavros, how long have
you and Liz been dating?

Six weeks this Thursday.

She got her heel
caught in a sewer grate.

I saved her life and now...

We are lovers.

While this dinner was to
honor Stavros for his bravery,

unfortunately, he has to go.

I can stay.

Liz, woman, come to me.

I miss your touch.

[Laughing] Oh, Stavvles!

You're so great.

I love it when you wear tank tops

and the straps get all
lost in your shoulder hair.

So... what do you do, Stavros?

I am a family therapist.

[Laughs]

A therapist? Wow.

So what would you say to a Father who
never wants to discipline his daughter?

And what would you say to a Mother

who thinks she knows
everything about parenting?

And what would you say to a man
whose daughter doesn't cook dinner,

but instead of grounding
her because he can't,

orders Greek food and tries
to pass it off as homemade?

I'd say it all means it's time
for you to get your arm off me.

And for me to pay you
and send you on your way.

My only regret is I
didn't order Chinese food,

because Ping Li would have nailed this!

Liz, we will laugh about
this on our honeymoon...

Okay, so Ellie did screw up, but she
took responsibility, and I'm proud of her.

But the deal was you were
supposed to ground her.

No, the deal is she's my daughter,
and I have to do what feels right.

And so far, it's working,
because she's a great kid.

So guess what. I'm not grounding her.

I'm grounding you!

- What?
- You heard me.

You cannot give me advice for one week.

That's not fair. I
didn't know the rules.

What? What was that? You
wanna go for two weeks?

Whatever.

- Excuse me?
- Okay, fine!

I will not voice an opinion
about anything for one week.

Excellent! Let's eat.

Ellie slaved all day not making this.

Wait till you see what I
didn't make for dessert.

Are you all set for this weekend?

Did you pack your dancing shoes?

Uh... I'm never not wearing them.

I'm so happy you're coming with me!

Now dancing to all the single ladies

will be fun instead of
just a pointed observation.

Oh, no. Hunter, I said whatever
you do, do not throw a muffin at me!

Then maybe you shouldn't have given me
that muffin mix and made me think that it

was from Max so that I would
get fired for reminding him

of his Grandmother's
tragic batter death!

Wow, Max has been busy.

Oh. I win.

And if memory serves, the
terms of our wager dictate

that you now must tell
everyone one mean truth.

[Lightly] Come, come.

Workers... gather 'round.

Sean has something mercilessly frank
to say to everyone in this room.

All right. Here we go.

Max, I think you dye your moustache.

Shut up. Meeting adjourned. Disperse.

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