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1
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Long ago in a distant land...
2
00:00:04,349 --> 00:00:08,979
...I, Aku, the shape-shiftingmaster of darkness...
3
00:00:09,154 --> 00:00:12,681
...unleashed an unspeakable evil.
4
00:00:12,858 --> 00:00:18,125
But a foolish samurai warriorwielding a magic sword...
5
00:00:18,297 --> 00:00:22,097
...stepped forth to oppose me.
6
00:00:24,469 --> 00:00:26,232
Before the final blow was struck...
7
00:00:26,405 --> 00:00:31,342
...I tore open a portal in time,and flung him into the future...
8
00:00:31,510 --> 00:00:33,740
...where my evil is law.
9
00:00:33,912 --> 00:00:38,144
Now the fool seeksto return to the past...
10
00:00:38,317 --> 00:00:43,152
...and undo the future that is Aku.
11
00:02:32,464 --> 00:02:34,398
Remember me?
12
00:02:36,468 --> 00:02:37,867
Watch it!
13
00:02:44,976 --> 00:02:46,603
Time to go.
14
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:51,849
Sorry to cut your fight short
with those bounty hunter robots...
15
00:02:52,017 --> 00:02:54,008
...but l got a wee problem.
16
00:02:54,186 --> 00:02:56,780
Me wife's been kidnapped.
17
00:02:59,357 --> 00:03:01,325
-You are married?
-Aye.
18
00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:03,358
To the most beautiful bonny lass...
19
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:06,463
...that ever blessed the ground
with her footstep.
20
00:03:06,631 --> 00:03:09,065
l must save her before the moon is full.
21
00:03:09,234 --> 00:03:11,566
That is tomorrow night. Where is she?
22
00:03:11,737 --> 00:03:14,137
The Castle of Boon.
23
00:03:15,507 --> 00:03:19,500
The Celtic Master of the Hunt
plans to devour her.
24
00:03:19,678 --> 00:03:22,146
She's so dainty and sweet...
25
00:03:22,314 --> 00:03:24,782
...and frayed so easy!
26
00:03:26,585 --> 00:03:31,079
And the Master of the Hunt
is so very scary.
27
00:03:34,893 --> 00:03:36,884
Try and calm yourself.
28
00:03:37,062 --> 00:03:38,393
l cannot.
29
00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:40,929
l can't save her on me own.
30
00:03:41,099 --> 00:03:46,264
And l am forbidden by ancient custom
to seek help from warriors of me own clan.
31
00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:52,775
l alone am no match for the army
of Celtic demons infesting the castle.
32
00:03:52,944 --> 00:03:56,175
But there is a loophole
in the ancient custom.
33
00:03:56,348 --> 00:03:59,181
Me clan Druid rolled the bones.
They said:
34
00:03:59,351 --> 00:04:01,444
''Seek the help of a stranger.''
35
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:05,454
You're the only stranger l know,
and you're as strange as they come, laddie.
36
00:04:05,624 --> 00:04:06,955
And powerful too.
37
00:04:07,125 --> 00:04:09,059
Together, you and me...
38
00:04:09,227 --> 00:04:13,288
...we could save my wife
before it's too late.
39
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:19,797
How can l refuse a friend in need?
40
00:04:19,971 --> 00:04:22,269
Aye, l knew l could count on you, laddie.
41
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,533
Let's go. Time's a-wasting.
42
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:28,145
-Where?
-The Highlands. Where else?
43
00:04:36,221 --> 00:04:39,122
Me wife has blond hair like spun gold...
44
00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:40,519
...smooth as silk.
45
00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:43,160
Sometimes she lets me brush it.
46
00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:47,765
Her eyes are like the glittering blue sea.
l can stare into her eyes for days.
47
00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:53,337
And her voice would make angels jealous,
such divine, melodious tunes.
48
00:04:53,505 --> 00:04:56,065
Her lips, like two sweet roses.
49
00:04:56,241 --> 00:04:58,334
And can she tell a joke.
50
00:04:58,510 --> 00:05:02,378
And she does this thing with her ear.
lt makes me laugh.
51
00:05:03,114 --> 00:05:06,174
-Did l mention her hair?
-Yes.
52
00:05:20,098 --> 00:05:21,690
We've arrived.
53
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,094
The Highlands.
54
00:05:36,948 --> 00:05:40,884
lt's so beautiful, just like me wife.
55
00:05:44,489 --> 00:05:47,549
l just get overcome thinking about her.
56
00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:50,126
How can l live without me bonny wife?
57
00:05:50,295 --> 00:05:52,422
l suggest we waste no time crying then.
58
00:05:52,597 --> 00:05:54,064
Aye.
59
00:05:54,532 --> 00:05:57,228
l'm coming, sweetie!
60
00:06:14,986 --> 00:06:16,920
There. My clan castle.
61
00:06:17,088 --> 00:06:21,286
We can rest there
before attacking the Castle of Boon.
62
00:06:24,863 --> 00:06:27,923
l'm back, you Gaul Druid totties!
63
00:06:48,086 --> 00:06:49,644
Go on.
64
00:06:49,821 --> 00:06:52,654
l'm just here for a wee bit.
65
00:06:56,628 --> 00:06:58,789
Hold fast, laddies. He's with me.
66
00:06:58,964 --> 00:07:02,297
-He's the stranger that will help me.
-This one?
67
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:04,731
l am honored to meet you all.
68
00:07:06,037 --> 00:07:09,473
-What's he doing?
-Don't know. Maybe he dropped something.
69
00:07:09,641 --> 00:07:14,374
-Take a look at them pajamas he has on.
-Aye, he's a strange one, all right.
70
00:07:14,546 --> 00:07:16,878
Must be close to his bedtime.
71
00:07:17,048 --> 00:07:20,347
Or he had not done his laundry.
72
00:07:22,487 --> 00:07:24,421
That's enough!
73
00:07:24,589 --> 00:07:27,319
Let's have a little respect.
74
00:07:27,492 --> 00:07:30,518
-But he is wearing a dress.
-Shut it!
75
00:07:30,695 --> 00:07:31,992
And you too!
76
00:07:32,163 --> 00:07:35,132
This man is the bravest man
l have ever known.
77
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,598
We faced Aku's bounty hunters
together...
78
00:07:37,769 --> 00:07:40,704
...and together we'll fight
the Celtic demons...
79
00:07:40,872 --> 00:07:45,639
...destroy the Master of the Hunt
and rescue me wife.
80
00:07:48,246 --> 00:07:50,237
l think they like you now, laddie.
81
00:08:10,969 --> 00:08:12,732
Here comes the food.
82
00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:17,469
-This is food?
-Aye.
83
00:08:17,642 --> 00:08:19,906
lt's haggis.
84
00:08:25,283 --> 00:08:27,581
And what is haggis?
85
00:08:27,752 --> 00:08:31,188
Sheep's stomach stuffed
with meat and barley!
86
00:08:31,356 --> 00:08:32,653
Stop!
87
00:08:37,796 --> 00:08:40,959
-Who is that?
-Cathbad, the clan Druid.
88
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:46,495
What language is that?
89
00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:49,572
He speaks our most ancient tongue.
90
00:09:00,819 --> 00:09:02,980
Basically, the Druid thinks you're a softy.
91
00:09:03,154 --> 00:09:07,523
So as not to disgrace the clan,
you must pass the test of manhood.
92
00:09:07,692 --> 00:09:10,126
Well, what does that mean, ''softy''?
93
00:09:10,295 --> 00:09:13,924
They don't know you like l know you.
Look, you got nothing to worry about.
94
00:09:14,099 --> 00:09:15,327
You'll pass.
95
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,627
What is this test exactly?
96
00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,599
You gotta throw a rock.
97
00:09:19,771 --> 00:09:22,001
You can throw a rock, can't you?
98
00:09:30,815 --> 00:09:33,875
We're in good shape.
Angus' throw stank.
99
00:09:34,052 --> 00:09:38,148
Just throw this wee stone past Angus',
and you'll pass the test.
100
00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:42,657
-ls this necessary?
-Aye, l'm afraid so.
101
00:10:01,212 --> 00:10:03,112
But that was his warm-up throw.
102
00:10:03,281 --> 00:10:06,580
Cathbad says l have to find
a stronger stranger.
103
00:10:06,751 --> 00:10:08,309
There is no time for that.
104
00:10:08,486 --> 00:10:12,286
Me poor wife will be an ingredient in stew.
105
00:10:12,457 --> 00:10:14,823
No, she won't.
106
00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:19,955
Excuse me.
How many stones do you weigh?
107
00:10:20,131 --> 00:10:23,532
Twenty stone.
What's it to you, fancy pants?
108
00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:28,729
-You are a mighty fellow.
-Aye, that l am.
109
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,222
You did it! He said you pass.
110
00:10:51,396 --> 00:10:54,524
-l thought it was something like that.
-We can go now.
111
00:10:54,699 --> 00:10:57,327
Stranger, stranger, stranger!
112
00:11:00,238 --> 00:11:02,729
-ls your clan always that wild?
-Aye.
113
00:11:02,907 --> 00:11:06,343
That's why l never stay at home.
l'm the mellow one.
114
00:11:06,511 --> 00:11:08,843
-You can put me down now.
-Oh, no.
115
00:11:09,013 --> 00:11:12,710
l'm carrying you all the way there.
lt's the least l can do.
116
00:11:12,884 --> 00:11:16,411
-lt is quite unnecessary.
-Shut it!
117
00:11:34,806 --> 00:11:39,004
The Castle of Boon.
118
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:41,410
All right, let's charge.
119
00:11:41,579 --> 00:11:44,946
Wait, friend. lt will not be that easy.
120
00:11:45,116 --> 00:11:46,947
But there are no guards.
121
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:49,109
So it would seem.
122
00:12:00,298 --> 00:12:03,131
Celtic demons.
123
00:12:10,508 --> 00:12:12,976
Only seven. We can take seven easy.
124
00:12:13,144 --> 00:12:15,135
Seven because l tossed a rock.
125
00:12:15,313 --> 00:12:17,042
lf we were to assault the castle...
126
00:12:17,215 --> 00:12:20,241
...we would surely be overwhelmed
by vast numbers of those things.
127
00:12:20,418 --> 00:12:22,978
Fine. Then how do we get in?
128
00:12:26,291 --> 00:12:29,692
lf l fall to me doom,
tell my wife l loved her.
129
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,469
Are we gonna sneak around here all night,
or are we gonna fight?
130
00:12:49,647 --> 00:12:53,640
lt would be unwise to seek a battle
before we have secured your wife.
131
00:12:53,818 --> 00:12:55,342
What? Oh, no.
132
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,818
We have to get her out of here, laddie.
133
00:12:57,989 --> 00:12:59,650
They're already stirring the broth.
134
00:12:59,824 --> 00:13:04,227
And my wife is gonna be the main
ingredient before the moon rises.
135
00:13:04,395 --> 00:13:06,829
lf we split up,
we could cover more ground.
136
00:13:06,998 --> 00:13:09,694
But we should not separate
in case of trouble.
137
00:13:09,867 --> 00:13:13,064
Perhaps, then, we should
disguise ourselves as demons.
138
00:13:13,237 --> 00:13:14,670
What do you think?
139
00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:17,501
-l believe l have found your wife.
-Where?
140
00:13:17,675 --> 00:13:20,075
That tower. ln the window.
141
00:13:20,244 --> 00:13:23,338
-lt's her. Oh, my beauty.
-Come on.
142
00:13:24,449 --> 00:13:26,883
My buttercup! My love bunny!
143
00:13:27,385 --> 00:13:29,410
l'm here to save thee.
144
00:14:11,362 --> 00:14:12,590
Bonny button?
145
00:14:21,305 --> 00:14:22,897
Muffin.
146
00:14:23,074 --> 00:14:27,408
Don't you ''muffin'' me,
you ripe end of a baboon!
147
00:14:27,578 --> 00:14:30,411
You disappear without a word
for two years, only to show up...
148
00:14:30,581 --> 00:14:33,482
...because l'm kidnapped,
leaving me in this sty for a month...
149
00:14:33,651 --> 00:14:35,812
...till you get the gall enough
to come save me!
150
00:14:35,987 --> 00:14:37,215
Wait till the last minute!
151
00:14:37,388 --> 00:14:40,289
What have you been doing,
you pimple-faced dilly worm?
152
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:42,653
Some husband you are. Oh, big warrior.
153
00:14:42,827 --> 00:14:45,591
l think no.
l'll tell you where you've been.
154
00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:48,231
Tossing rocks with
your good-for-nothing dullards.
155
00:14:48,399 --> 00:14:50,765
Too busy to save the love of your--
156
00:14:55,239 --> 00:14:57,264
Now l've seen everything.
157
00:14:57,442 --> 00:14:59,603
ls this who you've been wasting
your time with?
158
00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:03,508
Some wiry maypole wearing an ugly dress
and tasteless slippers?
159
00:15:03,681 --> 00:15:05,740
l swear on chatelain's
mighty chest hairs...
160
00:15:05,917 --> 00:15:08,078
...l've got wooden spoons
brighter than you!
161
00:15:08,252 --> 00:15:10,777
And to think l married
the only Scot in Scotland...
162
00:15:10,955 --> 00:15:13,788
...who'd bring a candlestick in a slip
to his wife's rescue...
163
00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:16,290
...instead of a whole clan
of bumbling brutes.
164
00:15:16,461 --> 00:15:19,225
No, l get just two bumbling brutes.
165
00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:24,027
Well, one bumbling brute and some kind
of fashion-inept sheepherder.
166
00:15:24,202 --> 00:15:26,932
-But, lovely lump, the Druid said--
-The Druid?
167
00:15:27,104 --> 00:15:30,801
Who listens to a man wearing
an ant skull on his head?
168
00:15:30,975 --> 00:15:32,203
-But he--
-Shut it!
169
00:15:32,376 --> 00:15:34,401
-Yes, dear.
-We should go.
170
00:15:34,579 --> 00:15:37,946
Oh, what a grand idea.
171
00:15:38,115 --> 00:15:40,982
You must be the brains, l suppose.
172
00:15:41,152 --> 00:15:43,143
-lt is just common sense.
-lt is, huh?
173
00:15:43,321 --> 00:15:45,653
Well, how are you planning to get me out?
174
00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:47,484
l hope silently.
175
00:15:47,658 --> 00:15:51,059
Well, l stubbed my toe.
l cannot walk. lt hurts.
176
00:15:51,229 --> 00:15:52,992
Oh, poor sugar pot.
177
00:15:54,999 --> 00:15:57,058
Got any ideas, Aristotle?
178
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:07,436
-How are you doing, puddle-ducky?
-This rescue stinks!
179
00:16:16,387 --> 00:16:18,412
l've never been so humiliated
in me life!
180
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:22,047
l have a dullard for a husband
with a scrawny tree for a sidekick.
181
00:16:22,226 --> 00:16:25,423
-l'd be better off saving meself.
-Forgive me.
182
00:16:25,596 --> 00:16:28,588
You almost dropped me,
you gown-wearing fashion reject.
183
00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:30,427
-Perhaps if we trade places....
-Aye.
184
00:16:30,601 --> 00:16:32,000
Oh, that's grand.
185
00:16:32,169 --> 00:16:35,627
But does me worm-brained husband care
that a stranger can peek up me dress?
186
00:16:35,806 --> 00:16:37,740
No, he don't care a speck.
187
00:16:37,909 --> 00:16:42,243
-ls that better?
-No, you fling-pooed backyard tottie.
188
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:45,644
Walking with jolts of searing pain
coursing up me leg would be better.
189
00:16:45,816 --> 00:16:50,617
Do you think before you open your mush,
or does it come out on its own?
190
00:16:59,196 --> 00:17:01,130
Oh, way to go, boys.
191
00:17:01,299 --> 00:17:04,063
l suppose walking us right into
the whole blethering army...
192
00:17:04,235 --> 00:17:05,668
...was part of the plan?
193
00:17:07,238 --> 00:17:10,696
Well, don't just stand there.
Defend me.
194
00:17:37,435 --> 00:17:40,268
You call that fighting?
l've seen cranky sheep more vicious.
195
00:17:42,106 --> 00:17:43,403
Oh, l'm sure that hurt them.
196
00:17:43,574 --> 00:17:46,600
Why not give them all a cup of tea
and a biscuit to choke on.
197
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:52,439
You two couldn't fight your way
out of a garden party of old ladies.
198
00:17:54,251 --> 00:17:57,846
l've baked haggis more lethal than you.
199
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:01,986
So many.
200
00:18:02,293 --> 00:18:05,558
ls that it? Some warriors you two are.
201
00:18:06,864 --> 00:18:11,198
-Have any ideas, laddie?
-Resign ourselves to becoming soup.
202
00:18:12,269 --> 00:18:16,171
lt's been a high time fighting
side by side with you, laddie.
203
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:19,104
l am honored to die at your side.
204
00:18:19,276 --> 00:18:21,642
Are you two done being sissies?
205
00:18:21,812 --> 00:18:24,542
Silence.
206
00:18:24,749 --> 00:18:26,478
The moon is full.
207
00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:31,953
Destroy the men and throw
the fat female in the pot.
208
00:18:32,323 --> 00:18:34,655
Fat? Fat?
209
00:18:34,825 --> 00:18:36,622
l'm not fat!
210
00:18:36,794 --> 00:18:39,558
l'm stout!
211
00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:41,789
Silence!
212
00:19:31,582 --> 00:19:35,211
-lmpressive.
-Aye, that's me wife.
213
00:20:06,484 --> 00:20:08,281
That's it then?
214
00:20:08,452 --> 00:20:10,113
Now let's go home.
215
00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:11,948
Oh, angel.
216
00:20:13,457 --> 00:20:15,948
Oh, my buttercup, you were grand.
217
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,925
My wee life would be darkness
without you.
218
00:20:19,096 --> 00:20:23,123
-You're sweet-talking me?
-Aye.
219
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:26,269
Don't ever stop, love. Don't ever stop.
220
00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:27,995
Oh, darling.
221
00:20:32,476 --> 00:20:34,967
Oh, you're a sweet man
to come rescue me.
222
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:37,114
l couldn't have done it
without me friend.
223
00:20:37,281 --> 00:20:39,181
Come here, laddie. Meet me wife.
224
00:20:39,350 --> 00:20:42,114
Wife, this is me friend.
225
00:20:42,286 --> 00:20:46,382
-l am honored.
-Oh, pleasure's mine, sir.
226
00:20:46,557 --> 00:20:48,787
You fight with great strength
and passion. l--
227
00:20:48,959 --> 00:20:51,393
Oh, enough of that.
Give me a hug, laddie.
228
00:20:51,562 --> 00:20:53,928
What a nice lad. A wee bit skinny.
229
00:20:54,098 --> 00:20:57,829
l'll fatten you up with a good helping
of me famous haggis recipe.
230
00:20:58,002 --> 00:20:59,902
What is haggis?
231
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:03,039
-Sheep's stomach stuffed with--
-Sheep's stomach stuffed with--
232
00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:06,567
You said it, lassie.
233
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,710
How can l repay you, laddie?
234
00:21:11,882 --> 00:21:14,908
-Friends carry no debts.
-Aye.
235
00:21:15,085 --> 00:21:19,044
-lnvite him to supper, dear.
-You're invited to supper.
236
00:21:19,223 --> 00:21:22,750
-Seems we must find an alternate way out.
-Why?
237
00:21:22,927 --> 00:21:25,589
This doorway is so very small,
and your wife is so very--
238
00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:26,923
What?
239
00:21:27,097 --> 00:21:29,065
Run!
240
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,079
Don't squash him, muffin!
241
00:21:52,256 --> 00:21:54,315
He's a friend of mine!
242
00:22:44,742 --> 00:22:46,733
[ENGLlSH]
243
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:51,333
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