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1
00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:03,369
You can't assume too much about anything
from the outside.
2
00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:06,090
Like a house... you have
to get inside and explore.
3
00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:08,352
You never know
what you might find.
4
00:00:08,688 --> 00:00:09,743
Hey, mom, i think
that this might be
5
00:00:10,006 --> 00:00:11,359
one of our more successful
showings ever.
6
00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:14,337
I found ham and that mustard
that i love so much.
7
00:00:17,059 --> 00:00:18,534
And as usual,
i'm doing all the work.
8
00:00:19,957 --> 00:00:21,285
You know, i should have
just left you in the car
9
00:00:21,541 --> 00:00:23,309
with some water
and cracked a window.
10
00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:25,190
Well,
i'm starving, okay?
11
00:00:25,509 --> 00:00:27,853
- We have been here all day.
- We've been here 20 minutes!
12
00:00:28,301 --> 00:00:30,957
I am just trying
to build a business
13
00:00:31,860 --> 00:00:32,741
that we can be proud of.
14
00:00:33,277 --> 00:00:35,776
But you know, i'm not angry.
I-i'm just disappointed.
15
00:00:36,357 --> 00:00:38,285
Okay. I am not 5 years old.
16
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,110
Do you really think that
that's gonna work?
17
00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:43,831
Because it's...
it's not gonna work.
18
00:00:45,688 --> 00:00:48,058
Okay, fine.
I'll try harder. God!
19
00:00:48,537 --> 00:00:49,594
You got mustard
on your face.
20
00:00:51,193 --> 00:00:52,090
Go away from me!
21
00:00:55,609 --> 00:00:56,113
Okay.
22
00:00:58,697 --> 00:01:00,705
Hello. Welcome. I'm samantha.
23
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,035
- Would you please sign in?
- Lindsey.
24
00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:05,282
Hi.
We really like the house.
25
00:01:05,657 --> 00:01:07,449
Oh, good, good.
Let's see what we have here.
26
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:10,521
It's nice. It's, uh, very much
like one we're interested
27
00:01:10,786 --> 00:01:13,827
- over in elk ridge.
- Elk ridge?
28
00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,364
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
29
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,300
- You do not want to live in elk ridge.
- Why? What's wrong with elk ridge?
30
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,780
What isn't
wrong with elk ridge?
31
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,356
Look, lindsey,
you seem a lot like me,
32
00:01:23,724 --> 00:01:27,548
and walnut valley is really
the place for people like us.
33
00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:28,853
People like us?
34
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,612
You mean because elk ridge
is a black neighborhood?
35
00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:33,164
What? Wait. It is?
36
00:01:33,573 --> 00:01:34,969
- As if you didn't know.
- No. I...
37
00:01:35,289 --> 00:01:36,988
- people like you make me sick.
- No, i don't!
38
00:01:37,429 --> 00:01:38,700
What did... what did i do?
39
00:01:39,069 --> 00:01:40,889
- Roger?
- I don't understand what you're...
40
00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:42,234
this is my husband.
41
00:01:43,361 --> 00:01:46,579
Oh. Hi. Hello.
Look, i-i really...
42
00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:48,643
i didn't know about elk ridge.
I've never even been there.
43
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:50,547
Okay? Not that i wouldn't
go there. It's just that...
44
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:53,234
look, i'm just trying
to sell you a house, okay?
45
00:01:53,682 --> 00:01:58,307
I mean, i love black...
african... american...
46
00:01:59,114 --> 00:02:00,187
black people.
47
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,042
You want a ham sandwich?
Wait a minute.
48
00:02:04,419 --> 00:02:06,354
Ham... that's not offensive,
is it? Right? Mom!
49
00:02:07,218 --> 00:02:08,218
I don't even
want to be doing this!
50
00:02:09,746 --> 00:02:11,611
Samantha who 212
51
00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:15,911
Synchro : Flolo
Transcript : yyets.net
52
00:02:17,067 --> 00:02:19,333
They called me a racist.
53
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:22,532
I am not racist.
I voted obama, you know?
54
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:26,633
I-i watch "oprah." My life
is full of black people.
55
00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,833
Mrs. Butterworth...
she's technically black.
56
00:02:28,834 --> 00:02:31,100
Do you actually know
any black people?
57
00:02:31,101 --> 00:02:34,333
I feel like i know oprah.
58
00:02:34,334 --> 00:02:37,399
So what? What, if i don't
know any black people,
59
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,432
then i'm automatically
a racist?
60
00:02:39,433 --> 00:02:42,833
It's not like you have
any black friends, right? Uh, five. No, four now.
61
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,866
Shondra and i
had a falling out
62
00:02:44,867 --> 00:02:47,367
when i didn't invite her
to my kwanzaa party, but...
63
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,666
don't look at me. I'm dating
tony dane... black and gay.
64
00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:52,566
Two birds.
Wait a minute.
65
00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:55,499
Before the accident, did i do
anything that was racist?
66
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:58,300
No. A black guy,
a white guy and two asians
67
00:02:58,301 --> 00:03:00,866
were in the mailroom
one day. Okay.
68
00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:03,133
You fired them all.
69
00:03:03,134 --> 00:03:06,866
Oh. I'm sorry. I thought
you were telling me a joke.
70
00:03:06,867 --> 00:03:09,532
Ooh! Andrea,
your boyfriend's on tv!
71
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:12,200
Oh! Oh, turn it up, turn it up.
Maybe he'll mention me.
72
00:03:12,201 --> 00:03:15,033
Well, it looks like
pro basketballer tony dane
73
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:17,833
is giving new meaning
to the term "swish."
74
00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,933
Caught here by paparazzi,
the great dane
75
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:22,367
is making a full-court press
76
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,033
on an unidentified
male companion.
77
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:28,432
Representatives for dane could
not be reached for comment,
78
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:31,100
but an unnamed source
within the organization
79
00:03:31,101 --> 00:03:34,466
did confirm that thatho
was taken last night. Oh, my god. It's all over...
80
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:38,200
the private jets, thparties,
the club openings.
81
00:03:38,201 --> 00:03:40,200
Oh, sweetie,
it's gonna be okay.
82
00:03:40,201 --> 00:03:43,933
I-i'm sure you'll find another
gay guy to pretend to love you.
83
00:03:43,934 --> 00:03:46,133
Not like this one.
84
00:03:46,134 --> 00:03:47,699
Hey.
85
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,033
Ms. Newly.
86
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:51,333
Frank.
87
00:03:51,334 --> 00:03:53,432
Frank! You're black!
88
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,432
Shh! Keep it quiet. I'm trying
to get off for passover.
89
00:03:56,433 --> 00:04:00,033
No! No, i thought i didn't
have any black friends,
90
00:04:00,034 --> 00:04:03,033
but you're black,
and we're friends.
91
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,933
No, ma'am.
92
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,633
No? 'cause you...
you seem kind of black.
93
00:04:07,634 --> 00:04:09,466
I mean we are not friends.
94
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,432
Of course we are.
W-we see each other every day.
95
00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:14,432
We talk. We're friends.
96
00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:18,200
What's my last name?
97
00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:20,566
It's, um...
98
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:23,333
where am i from?
What's my wife's name?
99
00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:25,532
What's my son's name?
100
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,200
Marcello.
Close. I don't have a son.
101
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:32,699
Fine.
I'm not sure what it is you're doing, miss newly, but don't.
102
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:36,000
Friendships grow through time
and shared experiences.
103
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,166
You carry my groceries.
104
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,100
You sign for my packages.
105
00:04:40,101 --> 00:04:43,300
I mean, if those aren't
shared experiences, then i... good night, ms. Newly.
106
00:04:43,301 --> 00:04:45,966
Samantha.
Ms. Newly.
107
00:04:45,967 --> 00:04:48,599
Frank, seriously,
you don't think we're friends?
108
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,367
Because that's
just not okay with me.
109
00:04:51,368 --> 00:04:52,966
You know what?
110
00:04:52,967 --> 00:04:57,599
I'm not gonna stop
until you and i are true-blue,
111
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,633
pick-me-up-in-the-middle-
of-the-night,
112
00:04:59,634 --> 00:05:01,833
drive-me-to-the-airport,
113
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,866
hold-my-hair-back-when-i-puke
kind of friends.
114
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:07,432
But i've already done
all those things for you.
115
00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:39,900
Not as friends.
116
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:13,932
Hey.
117
00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:16,300
Oh, hey.
Look at that on your lip.
118
00:05:16,301 --> 00:05:19,400
That's, uh, it's, uh...
oh, shoot, what is that called?
119
00:05:19,401 --> 00:05:22,266
It's, um, it's like a mustache
but not one.
120
00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:25,500
Joke all you want,
but you don't have a say in it.
121
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:32,899
You're not my girlfriend.
And apparently, you don't plan on having one.
122
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:35,133
Hi, frank. Wassup?
123
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:38,667
Hey, todd,
it's my friend frank.
124
00:05:38,668 --> 00:05:41,400
Is there any reason why
you wouldn't come down
125
00:05:41,401 --> 00:05:43,966
and sign for this?
Because all the fun is up here.
126
00:05:43,967 --> 00:05:46,133
Come on. Join us.
We've got food,
127
00:05:46,134 --> 00:05:49,099
and we have fun.
We got frank. It's "f" day.
128
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:52,999
I can think of many other words
that begin with "f,"
129
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,700
but i'd get fired.
"Fired"... there's another "f."
130
00:05:55,701 --> 00:05:57,400
Sam?
Yeah?
131
00:05:57,401 --> 00:06:00,667
You didn't order
my black bean sauce again. I'm sorry.
132
00:06:00,668 --> 00:06:02,667
You always make sure
your order's right,
133
00:06:02,668 --> 00:06:05,133
but you never think of me.
I always think of you.
134
00:06:05,134 --> 00:06:08,799
Mm.
I just think of myself first. Some people find that adorable.
135
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,366
Well, frank doesn't.
He'll come around.
136
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:13,999
He won't come around. He doesn't
want to be your friend. Yeah, well, you know what?
137
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,700
He also didn't want to drag out
our dead christmas tree,
138
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,832
but he did that.
I'll wear him down. Why is this your project?
139
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:21,832
Because for
the last two years,
140
00:06:21,833 --> 00:06:23,832
i have been walking
past that man,
141
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,300
and i know nothing about him.
What does that say about me?
142
00:06:26,301 --> 00:06:28,633
Exactly. About you.
143
00:06:28,634 --> 00:06:31,033
You want more friends?
144
00:06:31,034 --> 00:06:34,400
Maybe think of their needs,
what they want. You know what? You're right.
145
00:06:34,401 --> 00:06:36,767
And what frank wants
is to be left alone.
146
00:06:36,768 --> 00:06:43,533
I'm gonna bake him a pie.
147
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:48,233
♪ my friend frank ♪
148
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:53,433
♪ how are you tonight? ♪
149
00:06:53,434 --> 00:06:57,199
oh, hi. Can you please hold
this for a second, please? Give me the purse.
150
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,899
No, i've got the purse fine.
Just... can you hold the pie? Give me the purse. Hurry up.
151
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:02,767
What? Oh, no.
Come on. No.
152
00:07:02,768 --> 00:07:05,333
I can't have you
do this right now. Oh, when would be
153
00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:07,500
No, you don't understand
what i'm going through,
154
00:07:07,501 --> 00:07:10,333
and i really... i cannot
have you reinforcing
155
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:12,433
a racial stereotype, okay?
I'm really sorry.
156
00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,700
You know, if you can't look
past the color of my skin
157
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,700
and see me as a man
stealing your purse,
158
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:19,266
i feel sorry for you.
How about this... give me your address,
159
00:07:19,267 --> 00:07:23,366
and then i'll send you
something later? Okay, uh, it's 4-2-2...
160
00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,366
What? No!
I just got the... but i...
161
00:07:25,367 --> 00:07:28,700
there's a card in there
for fra... for frank.
162
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:30,767
Hello, andrea.
163
00:07:30,768 --> 00:07:32,633
Hello, gin.
164
00:07:32,634 --> 00:07:35,099
Andrea, it's me.
Heard about tony.
165
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,133
You passed on
a relationship with me
166
00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:38,999
to be with a gay guy.
167
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,966
Believe me, that's the least
of the reasons i passed on you.
168
00:07:41,967 --> 00:07:44,966
Wow, it must be rough knowing
you turned a guy gay.
169
00:07:44,967 --> 00:07:47,966
I didn't turn anyone gay.
Hey, i'm not judging, okay?
170
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,700
In fact, i'm willing
to let you try it out on me. Tony was already gay.
171
00:07:51,701 --> 00:07:54,199
He asked me to pretend
to be his girlfriend.
172
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,700
Okay, so what was
in it for you? What do you think?
173
00:07:57,701 --> 00:08:00,166
The limos, the parties,
174
00:08:00,167 --> 00:08:02,533
photographs in "us" weekly.
175
00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,199
I was so airbrushed
and pretty...
176
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,033
and happy.
177
00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:08,700
And now it's all gone.
178
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,667
I'm meeting
with his people tomorrow
179
00:08:10,668 --> 00:08:12,667
so they can give me
the big kiss-off.
180
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:15,166
I think i'm gonna miss
the airbrushing the most.
181
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:17,333
Man, you are so afraid
to be with someone.
182
00:08:17,334 --> 00:08:19,866
What are you talkin' about...
afraid?
183
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:23,099
Of being seen by someone
who sees what you need
184
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,033
and can really
give it to you...
185
00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:27,366
to take you in his arms
186
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:48,733
and really, truly love you.
187
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:51,866
You want your olive back?
188
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,932
Frank, you didn't have
to call the police.
189
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,866
I only told you
that i got mugged
190
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,199
because i needed a ride home.
I want this guy caught.
191
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,600
My family lives
in this neighborhood.
192
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:02,600
You do not live
in this neighborhood.
193
00:09:02,601 --> 00:09:06,199
What are you doing
in this neighborhood? You're welcome
194
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,199
What a nice friend.
I did not ask you for pie.
195
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,533
I did not ask you for balloons.
I did not ask to be your friend.
196
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:15,033
You're talking like
a dr. Seuss character.
197
00:09:15,034 --> 00:09:19,033
Just a little bit.
Look, why don't we both just admit what this is all about?
198
00:09:19,034 --> 00:09:21,533
What?
You're only pursuing this so you can ease your guilt
199
00:09:21,534 --> 00:09:24,300
about not having
a black friend. No, that is not true!
200
00:09:24,301 --> 00:09:27,300
I just want to be your friend,
frank. Period.
201
00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:29,166
It's not about color.
202
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:31,966
That is everybody else's
hang-up. I have no guilt.
203
00:09:31,967 --> 00:09:35,366
Okay?
Thank you for coming, officers.
204
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,099
This here is ms. Newly,
the victim. Yeah.
205
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:41,600
Hello, ma'am. Can you tell us
what your attacker looked like? Hi.
206
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:49,066
Yeah. He... he, um...
207
00:09:49,067 --> 00:09:51,566
white guy.
208
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,700
Very white.
209
00:09:53,701 --> 00:10:28,832
Blindingly so. Yeah.
210
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,499
Morning, frank.
211
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:05,966
Uh, could you... could you
call me a cab to my mom's house?
212
00:10:05,967 --> 00:10:10,166
I'm sorry. Todd is still
picking up my car at your house.
213
00:10:10,167 --> 00:10:12,200
And he's just taking forever.
214
00:10:12,201 --> 00:10:14,200
He thinks
it's really funny
215
00:10:14,201 --> 00:10:17,499
to change all my radio stations
to gospel.
216
00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,633
♪ hallelujah! ♪
217
00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:22,599
sorry.
218
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,166
Thank you for the pie.
219
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,100
Oh. You're welcome.
220
00:10:28,101 --> 00:10:29,866
Was it good?
221
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:32,866
The important thing is
you were reaching out,
222
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:34,666
and i'm sorry.
223
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:36,833
I've become accustomed
to shutting people out.
224
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:39,566
To your offer of kindness,
225
00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:42,000
then you wouldn't have
needed to go to my home,
226
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:44,333
and you wouldn't
have been attacked.
227
00:10:44,334 --> 00:10:46,432
Did you try the pie?
228
00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:49,000
The important thing is...
229
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:49,633
if you still want
to be friends,
230
00:10:49,634 --> 00:10:51,432
que seamos amigos.
231
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:54,300
I suppose that would be okay,
ms. Newly.
232
00:10:54,301 --> 00:10:57,367
Thok..
233
00:10:57,368 --> 00:10:59,100
what?
234
00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:01,100
Samantha.
235
00:11:01,101 --> 00:11:03,699
Yay!
Oh! No, no. Get off of me. No. Come on.
236
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,499
Oh, yes. I'm gonna grab...
237
00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:10,133
so... mr. Tony dane couldn't
be bothered to show up, huh?
238
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:12,766
Fine. Let's do this.
239
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,133
First, i get to keep
all the gifts.
240
00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:17,333
Second, i still want
to go to the grammys.
241
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:20,699
I was looking forward to that.
And i don't care how
242
00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,966
you arrange it, but i want
to meet tiger woods,
243
00:11:22,967 --> 00:11:25,966
james gandolfini
and captain jack sparrow. Are you finished?
244
00:11:25,967 --> 00:11:28,466
And i want to carry
the olympic torch. Okay, now.
245
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:30,432
Here's our counteroffer.
246
00:11:30,433 --> 00:11:33,100
Andrea belladonna,
247
00:11:33,101 --> 00:11:41,532
will you marry tony dane?
248
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:44,666
Hey. Hey!
Where's your hideous red coat?
249
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:47,333
If i have to wear
the hideous red coat, so do you.
250
00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:50,466
The showing has been cancelled.
The sellers fired us. What? Why?
251
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:53,233
Remember the potential buyers...
that couple you insulted?
252
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,233
Well, they apparently
own the hottest
253
00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:57,233
new steak house in town,
and they're telling
254
00:11:57,234 --> 00:12:00,000
all their customers
that we're a racist company. What?
255
00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:01,532
Oh, and two other clients
have fired us.
256
00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,900
Okay, well, you know what?
You can't blame that on me,
257
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:07,766
'cause there could be a million
reasons why they fired us.
258
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:13,166
First of all, you know,
we're not very good. You are going to convince that
259
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,200
unless, i don't know,
maybe you really are.
260
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,566
Oh.
I mean, when you were a baby,
261
00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:20,066
you cried all the way
through "the jeffersons." Mom!
262
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:23,432
And you don't have
any black friends. Uh, yes, i do.
263
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:28,000
I have frank. If they
could see that, then...
264
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,100
this is a real nice
steak house. Mm-hmm
265
00:12:30,101 --> 00:12:33,432
thank you for inviting me.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. You know, when you do real estate,
266
00:12:33,433 --> 00:12:35,267
you don't just
know about houses.
267
00:12:35,268 --> 00:12:37,300
You know about steak houses,
you know?
268
00:12:37,301 --> 00:12:40,766
Oh, excuse me, miss. Um, hi.
Can i please talk to the owners?
269
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:44,166
I, um, i don't like my steak,
so... i'm sorry.
270
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:48,033
No. I'll eat it. I just need
to... just need to tell someone. Okay, i'll get the chef.
271
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:51,066
Oh, no. No, no, no.
272
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:53,866
I need to talk
to the owners. Okay, i'll see what i can do.
273
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,666
No.
Skirt.
274
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,666
All right, thanks.
275
00:12:57,667 --> 00:13:00,200
This is fun, huh?
It is.
276
00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:02,866
I'll admit as a rule
i try to avoid being
277
00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:05,699
someone's first black friend.
They try too hard.
278
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,766
They start talking
about halle berry,
279
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,799
how they voted for obama,
how much they love oprah.
280
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,333
Yeah.
Where are those owners?
281
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:16,799
Hello. I understand someone
wanted to speak with the o...
282
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,566
you.
283
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,367
You own this place?
284
00:13:20,368 --> 00:13:23,233
I didn't know that.
I love it. I love it.
285
00:13:23,234 --> 00:13:26,633
So does my friend frank here.
This is frank.
286
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:29,233
Ah. Your friend frank.
Yeah.
287
00:13:29,234 --> 00:13:32,900
Yeah. So now i guess we can just
stop all that jibber-jabbering
288
00:13:32,901 --> 00:13:36,466
about who my friends are.
Oh, right, because you thought showing up
289
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,966
with a black friend
would stop us from reporting
290
00:13:38,967 --> 00:13:41,333
your racist company
to the real estate board?
291
00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:42,833
Pardon me?
292
00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:44,100
Whoa, whoa. Hey.
293
00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:46,566
Just because frank here
might be black...
294
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:49,432
i mean, is he? I don't know.
Are you black?
295
00:13:49,433 --> 00:13:51,933
'cause i don't even
see color at all...
296
00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:54,733
does not mean that
he is not my actual friend.
297
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,300
Okay?
298
00:13:56,301 --> 00:13:58,766
Please, frank, tell her.
299
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:01,300
Yes, ma'am!
300
00:14:01,301 --> 00:14:04,399
Why, miss samantha here...
she been real good to me.
301
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,666
See what i'm talk... what?
Oh, yes, yes!
302
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,666
You see, lots of people,
303
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,367
they don't take they doorman
out for no fancy meal.
304
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:15,933
But miss samantha here... she
don't mind eatin' with the help!
305
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:18,866
He's your doorman?
No!
306
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:22,367
He... he's not just my doorman.
307
00:14:22,368 --> 00:14:24,367
Oh, no! No, ma'am!
308
00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,933
Why, i also carry her thangs
to and fro.
309
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:31,766
Why, she a real nice lady.
310
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:37,300
You should be
ashamed of yourself.
311
00:14:37,301 --> 00:14:41,399
First of all,
dinner's on me.
312
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,666
I... frank, come on.
313
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:45,666
Frank, please come back!
314
00:14:45,667 --> 00:15:00,200
Look, we... we've preordered
the soufflé!
315
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,699
So now frank thinks
that i was using him
316
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:55,333
just to prove that i had...
a black friend. Which you were.
317
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:57,733
No, i was not!
318
00:14:57,734 --> 00:15:01,333
I only used him after we had
already become friends, okay?
319
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,766
And then, yes,
i behaved very badly.
320
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,733
You know, i don't think
he's a good influence on me.
321
00:15:06,734 --> 00:15:09,599
I might have to cut him
out of my life. So that's it?
322
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,466
You're not gonna even try
to be friends with him? What am i supposed to do?
323
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:15,300
Quitter.
He doesn't want it.
324
00:15:15,301 --> 00:15:17,966
He hasn't even filed
a restraining order yet.
325
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:20,133
I mean, i waited 20 years
to be your friend.
326
00:15:20,134 --> 00:15:22,699
You put up a fight,
but look where we are w.
327
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,367
Yep, here we are.
328
00:15:25,368 --> 00:15:27,866
I mean, you'd be amazed
at the beautiful friendships
329
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:30,566
you can force on people.
Wow.
330
00:15:30,567 --> 00:15:33,833
Hi!
So what are you two losers doing in three months?
331
00:15:33,834 --> 00:15:36,333
Because i'm...
getting married!
332
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:39,066
What? Oh, my god!
Married to whom?
333
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:42,066
To... to whom.
Tony dane. What do you think?
334
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,699
What do i think?
I think he's gay. He's really gay, andrea.
335
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:48,532
And i think i've waited my
entire life to tell my friends
336
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:50,900
that i'm engaged.
So if you would just put aside
337
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:56,200
the pesky details for one night
and just get on board, okay?
338
00:15:56,201 --> 00:15:58,733
Yay!
Yay!
339
00:15:58,734 --> 00:16:02,133
Oh, my god. Let me see that.
It is stunning. It's so pretty!
340
00:16:02,134 --> 00:16:04,432
See, tony's entering
a contract year,
341
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,532
and they don't want
any bad press.
342
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,699
So they're gonna announce
the engagement,
343
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,566
and then all the designers
are gonna bid to see who's gonna
344
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:14,666
make my dress, and the wedding
photos are already presold
345
00:16:14,667 --> 00:16:17,267
to "people" magazine,
and they're paying gwen stefani
346
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,766
100 grand to show up
and be my best friend. It's like a fairy tale.
347
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:23,233
I know.
I'll get us some champagne. Oh. Good. Okay.
348
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:26,900
Se she called me a friend.
That didn't happen overnight.
349
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,133
Yeah, well, she's also
marrying a gay dude,
350
00:16:29,134 --> 00:16:31,233
so she might not be
in her right mind.
351
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:34,300
Three champagnes.
I'm engaged.
352
00:16:34,301 --> 00:16:38,799
What about the other night?
353
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,300
Did you not just hear
what i said? I'm engaged.
354
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:44,233
You felt something
between us,
355
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:46,966
and i know you
weren't that drunk.
356
00:16:46,967 --> 00:16:58,833
Little tip... don't ever
underestimate how drunk i am.
357
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:07,367
You don't fool me.
358
00:17:07,368 --> 00:17:09,866
I think i know
the answer to this.
359
00:17:09,867 --> 00:17:12,833
But do you care that i have
a little girl in here
360
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:16,300
who's trying to sleep?
She'll be fine. "Marceo" will take care of her.
361
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,399
If you came here
to apologize...
362
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,333
no. For wanting
to be your friend? No.
363
00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,300
Am i perfect, frank? No.
364
00:17:23,301 --> 00:17:25,399
But we don't get
to choose our friends.
365
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,733
I mean, do you really think
that i chose dena and andrea?
366
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:30,833
But there we are.
367
00:17:30,834 --> 00:17:33,799
It's late, ms. Newly.
Samantha.
368
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,799
Ms. Newly. We're going back
to the way things were before.
369
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,766
Before dinner?
370
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:41,333
Before your accident,
when you were as mean as a snake
371
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:44,499
and never gave me a glance.
I didn't have to know you.
372
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:46,666
I didn't have to care
about you.
373
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:50,133
Aha! You said "care." I heard
it, frank. You said "care."
374
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:52,233
Let's go.
Give me the money.
375
00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:55,333
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Seriously, guy, branch out.
376
00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:58,267
Meet new people.
Oh, damn.
377
00:17:58,268 --> 00:18:00,966
It's the chatty white lady
with no money in her purse
378
00:18:00,967 --> 00:18:04,933
is this the man
who mugged you? How can you have $5
379
00:18:04,934 --> 00:18:07,633
You lied to the police.
380
00:18:07,634 --> 00:18:09,633
Maybe.
But hey, you know what?
381
00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,633
If i had told them
who my real mugger was,
382
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,367
we wouldn't be
sharing this right now. Yeah, i'm aware of that.
383
00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:16,367
Shared experiences,
frank. Remember?
384
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:19,166
Plus you care about me.
You know what?
385
00:18:19,167 --> 00:18:22,532
If this guy shot me
right here and now,
386
00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:27,066
you would miss me.
Hey, oh. Well, hey, who's got a gun? Not me.
387
00:18:27,067 --> 00:18:29,300
That's... that's armed robbery...
whole different thing.
388
00:18:29,301 --> 00:18:31,333
Just say it, frank.
389
00:18:31,334 --> 00:18:33,499
Tell you what.
I'll close my eyes right now.
390
00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,367
You kidnap my friend...
391
00:18:35,368 --> 00:18:38,599
and if anybody asks,
i'll say it was a white guy.
392
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,367
Now why are you talkin'
about kidnappin'?
393
00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:43,966
Excuse me. Hello?
394
00:18:43,967 --> 00:18:47,499
Oh! It's the police.
395
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,900
They found my mugger.
396
00:18:49,901 --> 00:18:52,866
Hey, forget this.
I'd rather just get a job.
397
00:18:52,867 --> 00:18:55,766
Um, are you...
are you sure it's... it's him?
398
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,833
'cause my description
was sort of vague...
399
00:18:57,834 --> 00:19:01,300
and useless.
400
00:19:01,301 --> 00:19:04,933
So, ma'am, just tell us
if the man who robbed you
401
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:17,532
is inside this room.
Mm. Yeah, okay.
402
00:19:17,533 --> 00:19:19,666
Wait a minute.
403
00:19:19,667 --> 00:19:22,699
They can't... they can't
really see me, right? Why, do you see...
404
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,799
'cause we caught one of them
breaking into your car
405
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,766
with your keys.
406
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:29,933
Hey, todd, seriously,
i am so sorry. All right?
407
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:32,933
Look, i-i'll bet you soon
we'll... we'll tell this story,
408
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:37,466
and we'll just
laugh and laugh. Yeah. What was
409
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:39,733
Huh?
Mine was the delousing.
410
00:19:39,734 --> 00:19:42,933
Look, i'm sorry, okay?
I-i had to come up with
411
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,933
something really quickly,
and i guess i just described
412
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,100
the first guy i thought of.
Really?
413
00:19:48,101 --> 00:19:51,267
Yeah. What?
414
00:19:51,268 --> 00:19:53,432
I was the first guy
you thought of.
415
00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:55,900
Oh, don't get all cocky.
416
00:19:55,901 --> 00:19:58,267
Am i always the first guy
you think of...
417
00:19:58,268 --> 00:20:00,066
like in the morning,
when you wake up?
418
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,432
This... you know what?
Shut up.
419
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:05,066
It was probably just that
stupid little ratty "mustache."
420
00:20:05,067 --> 00:20:08,133
Well, i'll grow it in some more
if you like it so much.
421
00:20:08,134 --> 00:20:12,166
Yeah, okay, you do that.
I'll see you in six months. You can't even
422
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,300
Should have had them
put you away.
423
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:20,367
Ohh. That was almost
worth getting tasered.
424
00:20:20,368 --> 00:20:23,399
Okay, so anyway,
here's how to cure racism,
425
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,233
and i want credit.
426
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:27,466
If everyone on earth
just looks into the eyes
427
00:20:27,467 --> 00:20:29,799
of every other person,
we'll all be friends,
428
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,000
and there will be no racism.
429
00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,666
Of course, the logistics
will be a nightmare
430
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:37,166
and require exceptional
organizational skills.
431
00:20:37,167 --> 00:20:39,666
Maybe the chinese can do it.
432
00:20:39,667 --> 00:20:42,200
Hey!
Hey.
433
00:20:42,201 --> 00:20:45,466
We're friends now, right?
Yes, absolutely!
434
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,233
Good.
What?
435
00:20:48,234 --> 00:20:52,766
I need you to cover for me.
My band has a gig tonight. Oh!
436
00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:55,367
♪ the color of
your skin don't matter to me ♪
437
00:20:55,368 --> 00:20:57,300
can you call me a cab?
438
00:20:57,301 --> 00:21:01,066
♪ as long as we can live
in harmony ♪
439
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:04,532
♪ why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends? ♪
440
00:21:04,533 --> 00:21:06,001
♪ why can't we... ♪
441
00:21:06,051 --> 00:21:10,601
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