Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,336 --> 00:00:07,706
You take water,
and you freeze it. That's the recipe.
2
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:09,607
Rizzo: for ice?
3
00:00:09,641 --> 00:00:11,109
Yeah. It's just
frozen water.
4
00:00:11,143 --> 00:00:13,978
Declan: yup.
5
00:00:14,013 --> 00:00:16,381
?
to the wha, wha,
to the wha, to the wha, to the wha, wha ?
6
00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:17,648
Guess what.
7
00:00:17,683 --> 00:00:19,551
Williams: what?
Guess what.
8
00:00:19,585 --> 00:00:20,752
All: what?
9
00:00:20,787 --> 00:00:24,355
Guess who has a secret
admirer. Yours truly. Look.
10
00:00:24,389 --> 00:00:30,261
"Lieutenant Dangle,
Jim Dangle, one day your heart will be mine."
11
00:00:30,295 --> 00:00:34,065
Wow.
It came with a prop.
12
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:35,200
All: whoa!
13
00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:36,234
Declan:
oh, my god.
14
00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:37,902
Pig heart.
Williams: what is that?
15
00:00:37,936 --> 00:00:39,704
Death threat. Not
an admirer--A death threat.
16
00:00:39,738 --> 00:00:41,572
Junior: you should
just do your... dust for, uh...
17
00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:46,344
Dangle: it's a death threat.
It's a death threat, people! Death threat!
18
00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:50,081
Son of a bitch!
God damn it!
19
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,855
They all have guns!
20
00:01:04,496 --> 00:01:05,464
Ow!
21
00:01:05,498 --> 00:01:06,965
Push them together?
22
00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:08,399
Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!
23
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,970
Aah! Gah!
24
00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:15,173
[Siren]
25
00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:18,076
[Click click click]
26
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:20,344
Uh! Uh!
27
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:22,947
Watch. Over the line.
28
00:01:22,982 --> 00:01:24,182
Aah!
29
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,889
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
30
00:01:30,923 --> 00:01:32,223
Dangle:
good morning, party people.
31
00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:33,658
Wiegel:
good morning.
32
00:01:33,692 --> 00:01:35,327
Come on, everybody.
Call it out. "Good morning, lieutenant."
33
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,129
All: good morning, lieutenant.
34
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:41,365
Thank you, sergeant.
How does everybody like the new wall color?
35
00:01:43,969 --> 00:01:44,969
What did it
used to be?
36
00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:45,970
Are you sure they did it?
37
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:46,971
Yeah.
38
00:01:47,005 --> 00:01:47,973
Rizzo: it looks the same.
39
00:01:48,007 --> 00:01:49,407
What was it before?
40
00:01:49,441 --> 00:01:52,710
I thought it w--Uh, OK.
Maybe they didn't-- Never mind.
41
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,612
You know what? This is--
I gave tomorrow's announcement.
42
00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:56,480
They're painting
the walls tonight.
43
00:01:56,515 --> 00:02:00,218
I do all the week's
announcements sometimes in advance.
44
00:02:00,252 --> 00:02:02,954
Ah. That's tomorrow.
45
00:02:02,988 --> 00:02:04,389
Tomorrow I'll ask you
what you think of the new wall color.
46
00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:05,623
This is the same.
47
00:02:05,657 --> 00:02:06,958
Yeah. So no
painting was done.
48
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:10,862
Uh, OK. In assignments,
there's a warrant, uh,
49
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:14,598
For Reuben
"the bone" Alvarez. The drug trafficker.
50
00:02:14,633 --> 00:02:17,001
We need an undercover team
to pose as a couple--
51
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:21,005
Uh, I thought Jones
and Williams seemed sort of plausible--
52
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,208
To infiltrate
the midnight swingers.
53
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:26,911
Alvarez is a known member
of this sex club.
54
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,212
What's a sex club?
55
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:29,747
Dangle:
it's like a key party.
56
00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:31,249
Rizzo: yeah,
they're key parties.
57
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,818
Key parties is
where sexually promiscuous couples get together
58
00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:35,653
And they throw their
car keys in a bowl,
59
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,456
And then they take them out
and they fuck each other.
60
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,791
With the keys?
61
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,793
No, no, no. Each other
depending on whose key they have.
62
00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:43,394
With their
penises. Yeah.
63
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:45,764
What if you walked
to the party?
64
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:47,632
Do you still get
to get fucked?
65
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,834
You could always--
You'll always get fucked at the party,
66
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:52,537
No matter whether you get
there by foot, by car, by hovercraft, by float.
67
00:02:52,571 --> 00:02:55,440
You're always gonna
get--You're all ready to fucked.
68
00:02:55,474 --> 00:02:59,844
So that means we're gonna--
We're gonna get to fuck people, too.
69
00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:01,779
Dangle: no. That's exactly
what you don't need to do.
70
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:04,716
Declan: you know what?
I'd like to do some undercover.
71
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,883
Dangle: you're not
getting this one.
72
00:03:05,918 --> 00:03:07,418
No. I don't have to
have this one.
73
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,721
I'm just saying I got
myself a fake beard at the 99-Cent store.
74
00:03:09,755 --> 00:03:12,523
I'd like to be considered
the next time there's an undercover assignment.
75
00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,124
The next time something--
I need a bearded guy,
76
00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:16,561
If I need, like, a Hasidim
or, like, an Amish guy--
77
00:03:16,595 --> 00:03:19,730
What about, like,
a big, fat homeless guy? He could do that.
78
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:22,033
Why does he have to
be big and fat?
79
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:30,975
Today it is a somber
day in Reno.
80
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:35,313
We honor
our fallen comrade James Oswaldo Garcia.
81
00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:37,582
Per his last wishes,
82
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:41,152
Firing his cremated
ashes out of a cannon.
83
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:43,187
Ready, detail!
84
00:03:43,222 --> 00:03:44,188
Dangle:
careful!
85
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:45,689
Jones:
aw, shit.
86
00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:49,094
Dangle: aw, god damn it.
Everyone scoop him up. Scoop him up.
87
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,262
Get as much Garcia
back in as you can.
88
00:03:51,296 --> 00:03:53,765
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
What the fuck? What?
89
00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:55,867
What the fuck?
Live cannon.
90
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:58,002
Ew. Ew. What if this part
is his balls?
91
00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,672
Some part of this
is his balls, OK?
92
00:04:00,706 --> 00:04:01,906
Stop blowing right onto me.
Blow to the right of me.
93
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:03,474
No, stop blowing.
94
00:04:03,509 --> 00:04:04,875
Don't blow it at
me. Blow down the god damn thing.
95
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:06,043
[Coughing]
96
00:04:06,077 --> 00:04:08,013
There we go. Most of it.
There's most of it.
97
00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:13,984
Hya. Sounding! Hya! Fire!
98
00:04:16,922 --> 00:04:19,357
Didn't go.
Did it go? I plugged my ears. Did it go?
99
00:04:19,391 --> 00:04:20,825
Obviously it didn't go.
100
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:25,430
James Garcia,
we salute you! Fire!
101
00:04:26,565 --> 00:04:27,799
Nope.
102
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,534
We got to just get
the thing out of the bottom of it.
103
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:32,102
Get the thing out
of the bottom. It's all right. Crawl.
104
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:33,104
Wiegel:
we have a hold of it?
105
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,605
I got it. I got it.
I almost got it.
106
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,940
Should I try to
get it loose?
107
00:04:35,974 --> 00:04:37,608
OK, totally stuck.
Totally stuck, for real.
108
00:04:37,642 --> 00:04:39,110
Keep tapping it.
Leave it. Good.
109
00:04:39,144 --> 00:04:40,845
Jiggle it.
OK, jiggle it.
110
00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:48,853
All: ?
amazing grace,
how sweet the sound ?
111
00:04:48,887 --> 00:04:57,629
?
that saved a wretch like me ?
112
00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:59,664
Hey, look at me.
I got a big black dick.
113
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,802
What if we just sat this up
on a fence and shot at it?
114
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,105
I think Garcia would
approve, oddly enough.
115
00:05:13,178 --> 00:05:14,679
[Horn honking]
116
00:05:14,713 --> 00:05:16,181
[Car alarm]
117
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:20,651
Fucking Garcia, man.
Shit
118
00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:22,286
Fucking Mexicans.
Wow.
119
00:05:27,059 --> 00:05:28,025
Hello.
How you doing?
120
00:05:28,059 --> 00:05:29,026
Hi.
121
00:05:29,061 --> 00:05:30,561
Sheriff's department.
122
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:37,468
Uh, you guys sent us
a stool sample, and we're wondering why.
123
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:41,038
Huh. Um... I don't
have a clue.
124
00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,173
OK.
125
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:46,111
Uh, I guess I can make
some calls, I guess.
126
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:47,378
Great.
127
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:50,714
Let me try doctor, uh,
Dr. Diphold, see what he says.
128
00:05:50,749 --> 00:05:52,117
I'm here with the Reno
sheriff's department.
129
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:55,719
They were sent
a, uh, Tupperware container
130
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,055
Of what appears to
be human stool.
131
00:05:57,089 --> 00:05:58,055
It's very hard.
132
00:05:58,089 --> 00:05:59,057
It's hard and--
133
00:05:59,091 --> 00:06:00,725
Might have been
constipated.
134
00:06:00,759 --> 00:06:03,995
And very dry. Yeah.
It appears to be pretty tight, too.
135
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,331
It's not a loose stool.
Uh, you can hear it.
136
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:08,932
Can you hear it?
137
00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:11,669
That's kind of what
it sounds like.
138
00:06:11,704 --> 00:06:13,972
OK. You--You have
no idea--No one from your department
139
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:16,440
Sent that? All right.
140
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:19,444
OK. All right. No,
I'll see you then.
141
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,880
OK, bye. Let me try
operations--Building operations.
142
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,382
OK.
Maybe they just found something
143
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,283
And they didn't know
what to do with it.
144
00:06:26,318 --> 00:06:28,452
Well, I mean if
they just found it,
145
00:06:28,487 --> 00:06:30,621
They could have just
maybe thrown it out.
146
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:33,557
Yeah, no. Yeah, I can hold.
She's got me on hold.
147
00:06:33,592 --> 00:06:35,326
You know, for the record,
148
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,328
We don't need this much
stool for a DNA test.
149
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:38,796
That's a lot.
150
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,966
This is--This is way, way
more stool than we need.
151
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,167
How much is--
152
00:06:43,201 --> 00:06:45,169
All you need is,
like, a cigar snip.
153
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,004
If that. If that.
Oh, just the tip?
154
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,272
If that.
155
00:06:48,306 --> 00:06:50,408
Do me a favor.
Just open that up.
156
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:52,076
I know it may
sound weird, but...
157
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,248
[Music box playing]
158
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,655
OK, I know who
sent that.
159
00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:07,592
We fired that guy.
He's batshit crazy.
160
00:07:11,997 --> 00:07:14,966
I don't get excited
about my job very often, OK?
161
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,137
But I'm extremely
excited about this undercover job
162
00:07:19,171 --> 00:07:22,573
Because the women
at these key parties--
163
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,877
I don't know if you
know about these-- The people there.
164
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:29,613
Man: the urine
on the carpet--
165
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:31,916
Woman: it's not gonna
come out, is it? It's not gonna come out.
166
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,486
I think it's
because I had some cranberry juice,
167
00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:39,390
And that way it tends to
take the yellow and--
168
00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:43,727
Hello!
Hello! New people.
169
00:07:43,762 --> 00:07:46,464
Welcome! Hey. Ah.
Oh, my goodness.
170
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:47,831
How are you?
171
00:07:47,866 --> 00:07:50,401
Can I fuck you
right now or later? I don't know.
172
00:07:50,435 --> 00:07:53,370
We're, uh, friends
of Reuben Alvarez.
173
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:57,007
Oh, OK. Well, then
that's all right. Sure.
174
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,142
And we got keys.
175
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,011
Oh!
176
00:08:00,045 --> 00:08:01,612
That's like
an open invitation. Boom. Right there.
177
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:02,947
The key?
178
00:08:02,981 --> 00:08:06,684
You gonna put
it right down there? Key to the snatch pack.
179
00:08:06,718 --> 00:08:07,785
Key to the snatch pack.
180
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,554
You know your stuff.
You're no beginner.
181
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:11,989
Right there,
sweetheart. Just put it right there.
182
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:14,559
I'm gonna memorize--OK.
183
00:08:14,593 --> 00:08:17,962
Are you hard-Core?
Are you trash 'em and smash 'em?
184
00:08:17,996 --> 00:08:19,797
Are you gentle
but sweet? What?
185
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:21,298
Urination?
186
00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,333
Um...
187
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:23,701
Yes.
188
00:08:23,735 --> 00:08:25,703
All of that.
All of that. Yes.
189
00:08:25,738 --> 00:08:27,038
Thank you, Monique.
190
00:08:27,072 --> 00:08:28,605
Monique is having
surgery tomorrow.
191
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,607
We hope she
makes it.
192
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:30,741
Good lady.
Good lady.
193
00:08:30,775 --> 00:08:32,843
Good luck to you.
194
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:34,846
We lost so many
members to puzzles.
195
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,614
Like, everybody
started doing puzzles,
196
00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:38,015
And they left
the swing scene.
197
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:39,550
Oh, really?
Yeah. Horrible.
198
00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:40,718
A lot of our people.
199
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:44,355
Horrible what that hobby
can do to a person.
200
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,390
I want to see just
exactly how you go down
201
00:08:46,425 --> 00:08:48,593
And how you react
so that I know what to expect,
202
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:49,694
You know
what I mean?
203
00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,495
She calls me the Jackhammer.
Just hold on to my ears--
204
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,732
Ooh! Ya ya ya
ya ya.
205
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:58,335
Are you interested
in waterfront property, by any chance?
206
00:08:58,370 --> 00:09:00,771
Do you know of anybody
who's interested in waterfront property?
207
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,640
Oh, yeah. We've got
an area
208
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,475
That we're having
a hard time getting rid of.
209
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:15,720
Hi.
210
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,921
Hi.
Hi!
211
00:09:17,956 --> 00:09:19,190
Tell us what
your sign says, terry.
212
00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:21,292
It says "vote for me
or I'll pee on you."
213
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,293
"Or I'll pee
on you."
214
00:09:22,327 --> 00:09:23,294
Yeah.
215
00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,129
What are you
running for, terry?
216
00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:26,631
President of
the United States.
217
00:09:26,665 --> 00:09:27,865
You're running
for president of the United States?
218
00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:30,267
You know, we had
one of those a while back.
219
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:31,702
Who won?
220
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:32,837
You're either real, real
late, or you're real early.
221
00:09:32,871 --> 00:09:34,138
Are you late, or
are you early, terry?
222
00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:35,806
I'm doing 2020.
223
00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:36,807
2020?
Yeah.
224
00:09:36,841 --> 00:09:37,809
All right.
225
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:38,809
I want to get a head start.
226
00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:40,511
You want to get
a head start? Yeah.
227
00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:41,979
Lay a foundation?
You're doing a grass roots?
228
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:44,581
Yeah. Some ass roots.
229
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:49,553
Grass... roots?
230
00:09:49,587 --> 00:09:50,822
Terry?
What?
231
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,324
Did you wake up
this morning...
232
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,325
Yes.
233
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:55,960
Get super, super,
super high...
234
00:09:55,994 --> 00:09:57,160
Make a sign
that said
235
00:09:57,195 --> 00:09:58,896
"Vote for me or
I'll pee on you,"
236
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,766
And come down here
and harass everybody coming in and out?
237
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,168
OK. I did wake up.
238
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:05,703
OK. All right.
239
00:10:05,737 --> 00:10:08,839
I, uh--Something happened.
I don't remember.
240
00:10:08,873 --> 00:10:10,173
OK, this might be
the part where
241
00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:11,175
You got super, super,
super high, right?
242
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,176
Maybe. We don't know.
243
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,745
Might be.
We don't know.
244
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:17,514
I did have
17 bowls of cereal.
245
00:10:17,548 --> 00:10:19,117
17 bowls of cereal.
246
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,284
What kind of
cereal did you have, terry?
247
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:22,086
It wasn't total, because
you know if you have
248
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,188
A bowl of total, it's like
having 17 bowls of some--
249
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:25,289
Of other cereals.
250
00:10:25,323 --> 00:10:26,424
Are you serious?
One bowl of total? Yeah.
251
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:29,026
So you went with the
17 other cereals.
252
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,828
You were high
even for you, terry.
253
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:34,298
I've never been high.
Oh! Was that a dragon?
254
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:36,734
OK, his fingers.
Obviously--
255
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:37,735
I thought it was a dragon.
256
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:38,736
OK, what's this?
257
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,738
Thank god. It's spiders!
258
00:10:40,772 --> 00:10:41,738
OK, what's this?
259
00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:43,974
Fire!
260
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:47,611
Genie. Genie.
261
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,546
I don't know what
the fuck drug he's on.
262
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:54,051
Uh, I have
a question.
263
00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,820
I got this in the
mail two days ago, and this says--
264
00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:57,722
Congratulation!
265
00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:58,856
You did this.
266
00:10:58,890 --> 00:10:59,891
Yeah!
267
00:10:59,925 --> 00:11:00,958
You promoted me
to captain.
268
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,326
Congratulation.
You are captain.
269
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,661
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
270
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,530
You can't just
promote people to captain.
271
00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:08,966
See, just because--
You can't just go and randomly--
272
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:12,804
You're looking at the new
captain! Whoo! Whoo!
273
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,672
?
bop bop bop
bop bop bop bop! ?
274
00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:20,877
Ha ha! You're looking
at the captain of the Reno sheriff's department,
275
00:11:20,912 --> 00:11:25,149
And the first thing I
am doing is telling Dangle to go uhh!
276
00:11:25,183 --> 00:11:26,684
Hey, Jim, how about
you come out here?
277
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:28,953
I just need to ask you
something.
278
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:32,055
Hey, let's stop--
Let's--
279
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,124
This is just a flat-out
waste of taxpayers' money.
280
00:11:33,158 --> 00:11:34,224
You know what I
want to ask you?
281
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:35,326
To call me in that room.
282
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:41,164
I want to ask you to
suck my dick.
283
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,742
Cindy: congratulation!
You are all captain.
284
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,778
Cindy has been, uh, making
everybody captain,
285
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:58,248
So we'll just
forget all about that. See you, Cappy.
286
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:00,851
I'm sorry, but you
know what I can do?
287
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:05,256
I can make you
1/18 Mapoa Indian.
288
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,757
Would you like that?
289
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,058
Yeah, OK.
290
00:12:08,093 --> 00:12:09,526
You'll get $500
check every month from the casino.
291
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:10,728
Would you like that?
292
00:12:10,762 --> 00:12:12,029
Yeah, that's
something, right? OK.
293
00:12:15,867 --> 00:12:18,368
There were just
daisy chains...
294
00:12:18,403 --> 00:12:19,570
Yeah.
295
00:12:19,605 --> 00:12:22,173
For miles.
People with their heads and people--
296
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:23,307
Exciting time, huh?
297
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:24,775
Exciting times
because Reagan
298
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:28,011
Stimulated the economy,
and everything--
299
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:32,082
Everything. Yeah.
That's when everybody went to the sex to make
300
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:33,617
Them happy,
medicate themselves,
301
00:12:33,651 --> 00:12:35,285
And then found
out it was fun.
302
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,788
And we got cheap
sheets from China.
303
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,623
Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:41,358
Do you think firemen
are overpaid?
305
00:12:47,499 --> 00:12:50,233
[Tires screech]
306
00:12:50,268 --> 00:12:54,839
Got a telegram. I didn't
know you could get a telegram anymore.
307
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:57,174
It said "meet me at
the old filling station.
308
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,676
All will be revealed."
309
00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:03,280
[Engine revving]
hello! Hello!
310
00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:10,487
Who are you?
Who are you?
311
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:11,956
Who are you, man?
312
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,190
Who are you, man?
313
00:13:13,224 --> 00:13:14,625
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
314
00:13:14,659 --> 00:13:17,561
Gary Morgan.
Reno sheriff's. Where's the lieutenant?
315
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,863
I am the lieutenant!
316
00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:21,232
Put it down! Put your
gun on the ground!
317
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:22,800
Put yours on the ground.
Put yours on the ground!
318
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,401
Put yours first!
Put yours on the ground!
319
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:26,771
Wait. Same time.
How's that?
320
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,508
Where's the lieutenant?
321
00:13:31,543 --> 00:13:33,076
I am the lieutenant.
322
00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:35,713
Where's lieutenant Larry?
323
00:13:35,747 --> 00:13:37,314
Lieutenant Larry?
324
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:38,815
The guy that's
been picking up
325
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,918
The communique for
the last 10 years.
326
00:13:40,952 --> 00:13:42,586
Lieutenant Larry?
Oh, my god.
327
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,688
Time to pick up the ants,
man. This is the day.
328
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:47,091
Lieutenant Larry left
the sheriff's department,
329
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:50,795
Like, 8 years ago.
I'm lieutenant Dangle.
330
00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:53,831
I've been dropping him
a communique for 10 years.
331
00:13:53,865 --> 00:13:55,566
It's time to take down
the ants, man.
332
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,602
I've been undercover
for 10 years!
333
00:13:58,636 --> 00:13:59,937
Oh, boy.
334
00:13:59,971 --> 00:14:01,105
What the hell?!
335
00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:03,407
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
336
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:04,641
Aah!
337
00:14:04,676 --> 00:14:06,443
Oh, boy. Are these
reel-to-reels?
338
00:14:06,477 --> 00:14:07,612
Of course.
339
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:09,913
We have no way to play
those, I don't think.
340
00:14:09,947 --> 00:14:11,148
We have no way
to play these.
341
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,117
I don't think we
have any way to play these.
342
00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:14,652
Was "chucha-cabbage"
aware of this?
343
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:16,420
That's my guy.
He sent me in.
344
00:14:16,454 --> 00:14:20,858
Oh, poop on
a pogo stick. He's passed away.
345
00:14:20,892 --> 00:14:26,163
I feel like there might
have been a note on my desk about this
346
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:30,968
That I skimmed. And
oh, boy, oh, boy, does it burn me up inside.
347
00:14:31,002 --> 00:14:32,636
I'm so mad right now.
348
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:35,139
I'm so mad that I
might have accidentally skimmed that note
349
00:14:35,173 --> 00:14:36,840
That I'm gonna make
this up to you, OK?
350
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:41,212
I am gonna take you...
to Sizzler.
351
00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:42,646
How do you like
that? You and me.
352
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,348
Sizzler?
Yeah.
353
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:46,183
All I can eat?
All you can eat.
354
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:47,851
I wouldn't be
surprised if we got you a commendation.
355
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,486
Nice work.
Ow.
356
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,588
Nice work taking
down the ants.
357
00:14:51,623 --> 00:14:53,023
Shit.
358
00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:54,558
We'll talk to you soon.
We'll talk this week, right?
359
00:14:54,592 --> 00:14:55,726
You and me are
going to Sizzler, and we're gonna work this out.
360
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:56,727
You call me.
361
00:14:56,761 --> 00:14:57,761
I certainly will.
362
00:14:57,796 --> 00:14:59,463
[Engine revs]
363
00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:02,199
Hey, this is Dangle.
We have a crazed drifter on Matthews,
364
00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:07,905
About 6'4", brown hair,
mustache, uh, about 185 pounds on 80.
365
00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:09,773
He is armed and
extremely dangerous.
366
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:12,409
Uh, shoot to kill.
If you get a shot, take it.
367
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:25,989
I have been to a key party,
but it wasn't as amazing as everybody talks about.
368
00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:29,126
I showed up at this party,
and this Mexican guy was, like,
369
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:34,665
"Can I have your key?
And I gave him my key, he drove my car away,
370
00:15:34,699 --> 00:15:38,369
I went to the party, I came
back, he came back up,
371
00:15:38,403 --> 00:15:39,903
Gave me my car, and handed
me my key back.
372
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,372
I think you
misunderstand what a key party is.
373
00:15:41,406 --> 00:15:44,541
No fingering, no making
out, no nothing. I was barely turned on.
374
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:52,816
Hey, unborn baby.
It's your dad Craig.
375
00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:55,585
By now I've been lethally
injected with something
376
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,421
And I'm in
the ground rotting,
377
00:15:57,455 --> 00:16:00,257
So I thought I'd take
this time to let you know
378
00:16:00,291 --> 00:16:03,560
That your old dad was
pretty good at some stuff.
379
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:08,398
Two things--Murder
and magic.
380
00:16:08,432 --> 00:16:11,335
Magic's a great way
to make new friends.
381
00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:14,705
Let me show you
a few tricks.
382
00:16:14,739 --> 00:16:19,176
Hey, T-bone, what's that
behind--Oh, shit ah!
383
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,147
Oh! Look at
that big fella.
384
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:25,082
Don't let--Daddy's fine.
Daddy's fine.
385
00:16:25,117 --> 00:16:26,851
You done messed up.
You done messed up.
386
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,987
Turn the tape off.
387
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:33,590
White people
are so weird.
388
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,827
I can hear you.
We also have excellent hearing.
389
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:41,698
Replay that part
where he's getting raped in the corner.
390
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,973
Appraiser on TV:
part of Virginia's history was Nathaniel Bedford forest.
391
00:16:49,007 --> 00:16:52,610
He led forces against lee
in the campaign,
392
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:56,380
Eventually succeeding
in Gettysburg over general lee.
393
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:59,016
Uh, do you know anything
about the value of this particular sword?
394
00:16:59,050 --> 00:17:00,050
Man: oh, jeez.
I don't know.
395
00:17:00,085 --> 00:17:01,852
A friend of mine
offered me--
396
00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,487
He said, "I'll give
you $20 for it."
397
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:04,354
Appraiser: $20
for this sword?
398
00:17:04,388 --> 00:17:05,089
Man: I don't know.
399
00:17:05,123 --> 00:17:06,757
Appraiser: I think
the serious...
400
00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,659
Who knew?
Shh.
401
00:17:08,693 --> 00:17:13,864
Would pay you for the sword
upwards of 70, $75,000.
402
00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:15,332
All: wow.
403
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,001
Appraiser: it's
in terrific shape...
404
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,001
Williams:
can you believe that?
405
00:17:18,036 --> 00:17:21,271
Who knew?
You never know. You never know.
406
00:17:21,305 --> 00:17:24,041
Look at the smile
on that face, huh?
407
00:17:24,075 --> 00:17:24,674
Hmm.
408
00:17:28,913 --> 00:17:38,956
[Rock music
playing on radio]
409
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:50,000
[Rock music
playing on radio]
410
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:51,502
Aah!
411
00:17:51,536 --> 00:17:58,608
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
Ah. Ah! Fuck.
412
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:02,612
Ah! Uh! Uh. Uh.
413
00:18:05,516 --> 00:18:08,819
Let's roll.
Aah! Gaah! Gaah! Uh!
414
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,220
[Tires screech]
415
00:18:16,994 --> 00:18:22,465
So, listen, you guys,
when do y'all think Reuben is gonna show up?
416
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,669
Does he roll in
right about now?
417
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:28,171
Woman: Reuben died
a couple of years ago. You didn't know that?
418
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:29,640
Are you kidding?
419
00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:32,876
I thought you, uh, were
good friends with him.
420
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:34,111
Don't tell me
you're cops.
421
00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:35,846
Are you cops?
422
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:40,851
Yeah.
423
00:18:40,886 --> 00:18:43,086
We are.
424
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:44,554
Stay for the orgy.
425
00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:45,689
Please, don't
worry about it.
426
00:18:45,724 --> 00:18:46,756
Stay for the orgy.
Don't worry about it.
427
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,992
You're already lubricated.
Just stay.
428
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:03,240
You missed a stop sign
back there, boy.
429
00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:06,543
No, don't do it. Don't you
do it. Don't--Don't even think about it.
430
00:19:06,577 --> 00:19:08,645
Do not even think
about it. Freeze!
431
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,380
[Ice cream truck
music playing]
432
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:13,317
Freeze!
Sheriff's department!
433
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:15,852
You stop that
ice cream truck!
434
00:19:15,887 --> 00:19:19,122
Freeze! Freeze!
435
00:19:21,459 --> 00:19:23,761
Sheriff's department!
436
00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:26,297
[Tire blows]
437
00:19:40,144 --> 00:19:41,745
Hey, no cuts.
438
00:19:42,113 --> 00:19:44,582
[Junior breathing heavily]
439
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:52,589
Can I get, uh, license
and registration and two bomb pops?
440
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:56,960
Thank you.
441
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,735
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
442
00:20:04,769 --> 00:20:06,036
Ah!
443
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,403
Ah.
Whose keys?
444
00:20:07,438 --> 00:20:10,507
I did it! OK, look.
Whose keys are these?
445
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:11,207
Whose is it?
446
00:20:11,242 --> 00:20:13,143
Ooh.
447
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:15,712
Those are my keys.
448
00:20:16,881 --> 00:20:18,982
Seriously?
449
00:20:19,016 --> 00:20:21,351
There you go,
huh? Right?
450
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:24,922
We...
451
00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:27,824
Yeah. You get to
do it. OK, now.
452
00:20:27,858 --> 00:20:29,326
On the floor now.
On the floor right here.
453
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:30,293
No, right
on the floor.
454
00:20:30,328 --> 00:20:31,261
Right here.
Down here. Go.
455
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,063
Get my glasses.
Yeah, right on the floor.
456
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,231
Yeah. Drop.
Everybody drop.
457
00:20:34,265 --> 00:20:35,766
Let's go. We're
gonna watch. Let's go.
458
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:36,634
Yeah, yeah.
Come on.
459
00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:37,601
Where are my--
Where's my heart medica--
460
00:20:37,635 --> 00:20:39,035
Oh, I got it.
I got to get them, too.
461
00:20:39,069 --> 00:20:39,936
Come on.
That's it.
462
00:20:39,971 --> 00:20:40,603
All right, here it is.
463
00:20:40,638 --> 00:20:42,640
There you go.
464
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:43,807
Jones: all right.
Here we go.
465
00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:45,175
Captioning made possible by
MTV networks
466
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:46,643
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --Www.Ncicap.Org--
467
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,581
Basically we
fucked in front of
468
00:20:51,616 --> 00:20:53,984
A bunch
of white people.
469
00:20:54,018 --> 00:20:57,053
Raineesha:
old white people.
470
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:57,788
Jones:
I mean, that's the kind of stuff
471
00:20:57,822 --> 00:20:59,690
They used to do
in slavery time.
472
00:20:59,724 --> 00:21:03,493
They'd watch black
people mate.
473
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,496
Raineesha: you had
a flashback?
474
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,132
An ancestral
flashback?
475
00:21:10,935 --> 00:21:12,402
Come on, Kunta.
Spit it out.
476
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,571
Jones:
well, I feel like I should feel,
477
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,573
Like, a lot
worse about it,
478
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:19,409
But actually I
don't feel that bad.
479
00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:24,009
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35230
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
