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1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,003
♪
2
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,860
Ugh, why do we always
get cleanup duty
3
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:36,340
when they've tortured a Reman?
4
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,821
They leave behind
the biggest mess.
5
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:41,998
Sub-Commander Vrek
takes pleasure in our misery.
6
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,305
Hopefully, he doesn't get
too comfortable,
7
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:47,003
for soon my plans
will come to fruition
8
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,571
and his life will be disrupted.
9
00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:52,791
You are betraying
Sub-Commander Vrek?
10
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,315
That is a pity
11
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:57,405
because I am already
betraying him
12
00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:01,104
and my plans
will come to fruition first.
13
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,846
[scoffs] Oh, please,
don't make me scoff.
14
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,674
Your plans
are barely even schemes.
15
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,720
You wouldn't know a scheme
from a conspiracy.
16
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,505
-[alert chiming]
-Ooh, an alert.
17
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,637
Our sinister plans
will have to wait.
18
00:01:12,681 --> 00:01:14,204
[chuckles]
19
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:17,164
Ugh, Reman juice
never comes out.
20
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:18,295
Status report.
21
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,341
An unknown ship seems to have
22
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,864
intentionally blocked our path.
23
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:23,431
VREK:
How did they detect us?
24
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:27,390
Assassination plots against me
are one thing, but sabotage?
25
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,698
Is this your doing, Malok?
26
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,265
How dare you.
27
00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:34,006
Of course I crave your demise,
but not like...
28
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,313
Silence. I've been stabbing
commanders in the back
29
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,186
since before your mother
killed her first traitor.
30
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,360
Wipe this crumb
31
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:41,840
from our path so I can focus
32
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:43,538
on being suspicious.
33
00:01:43,581 --> 00:01:46,410
Commander, our systems--
they're not responding!
34
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,369
That's impossible.
Fire disruptors!
35
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,936
No, it's true.
Our shields are deactivating.
36
00:01:50,979 --> 00:01:52,155
Go to cloak! [gasps]
37
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:57,943
[all scream]
38
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,997
♪
39
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,363
♪
40
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,439
♪
41
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,286
[Shaxs screams]
42
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,983
Let me die!
43
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:24,465
No, no, no. Stay with me, Shaxs.
You're gonna get through this.
44
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,162
We're exploring
the galactic frontier,
45
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,772
we need to stay flexible.
46
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:30,297
-[grunts]
-Wow, you're really tight today.
47
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,994
What's got you so tense, amigo?
48
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,823
[groans] One minute,
T'Ana's all over me,
49
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,781
the next, she says
I'm too clingy
50
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,392
and she won't come out
from under the bed.
51
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:40,829
Have you tried scratching your
fingers on the covers and going
52
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,309
-"pss-pss-pss-pss"?
-Of course I have!
53
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:45,050
[grunts] How's it going
with the new lieutenants?
54
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:47,183
-[grunts]
-Good, except for Mariner.
55
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,316
-Mm-hmm.
-I've got her
right where I want her.
56
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,274
She thinks she knows the score,
but trust me,
57
00:03:51,317 --> 00:03:53,363
she won't be my problem
for long.
58
00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:55,452
-[both laugh]
-[groans]
59
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:58,107
-Hot fudge sundaes after this?
-Oh, yeah.
60
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,022
[laughs] Cheat day.
61
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,330
[sighs]
62
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:06,115
We put a lot of light-years
on these orange slabs.
63
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:08,509
[sniffles] I promised myself
I wouldn't get emotional.
64
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:09,945
Aw, how could you not?
65
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,599
We spent so much time
hanging out,
66
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,079
staying up late
ranking captains by cuteness,
67
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,517
swapping bodies
because of those cosmic rays.
68
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,822
[shudders] We learned too much
about each other that day.
69
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,130
I'm even gonna miss the dent
I made from all the times
70
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,524
I slammed my head on the ceiling
during a red alert.
71
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,308
[sniffles] Goodbye, Denty.
72
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744
You okay, Mariner?
Need any help packing?
73
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,529
No thanks.
74
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,965
Ransom's just gonna knock me
back down to ensign anyway.
75
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,619
He promoted you last week.
76
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,707
I just heard him bragging to
Shaxs that he's messing with me.
77
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,449
-What? Why?
-I mean, who knows. His brain
78
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,581
is, like, the only part
of his body he doesn't work out.
79
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,888
But didn't he say
he was going to support you?
80
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:42,499
No, they always do, and then
the second I speak my mind? Bam.
81
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,109
Right back to being an ensign.
82
00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,155
They always think it's,
like, a learning experience.
83
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,852
Wait, is he dumb
or playing mind games?
84
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,724
Well, who cares.
I'm not falling for it.
85
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:52,553
Ransom's just waiting
for me to mess up, huh? Fine.
86
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,555
I'm gonna become
an insubordination supernova
87
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:55,991
and control my own fate.
88
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,558
But you're not actually gonna
blow anything up, right?
89
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,735
No. I'm gonna talk back,
break the rules,
90
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,824
crack some inappropriate jokes
in front of an ambassador.
91
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:06,523
When I get demoted,
it'll be because I earned it.
92
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,003
Well, that should prove
to be a disaster.
93
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,091
Should we go check out
our rooms?
94
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,354
Yeah, come on Rutherfor...
Oh, right.
95
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,573
I'm sorry.
96
00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:15,097
You guys go ahead.
I'm still a lowly ensign.
97
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,404
Ugh, I totally forgot
you didn't get promoted with us.
98
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,493
You exude lieutenant
junior grade energy.
99
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,146
[sighs] I don't know
if I'm going to like
100
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,235
not bunking five feet away from
you. I mean, how will I sleep
101
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,412
without someone muttering
about the warp threshold?
102
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,935
Aw, Tendi, don't worry,
103
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,893
I'll just get a promotion today
so I can join you guys.
104
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,548
I... don't know
if it's that easy.
105
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,507
I just have to do some
amazing engineering.
106
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,073
How hard could it be?
107
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,380
Oof. What I would give
for his confidence.
108
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,817
Huh. Maybe you'd have it if you
didn't hit your head so much.
109
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,385
[gasps] Don't say stuff
like that in front of Denty.
110
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:43,865
[Tendi laughs]
111
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,962
What up, nerds?
112
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:54,963
Who's ready to get mission-y?
113
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,791
Almost on time, Mariner.
Well done.
114
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,836
This is Ensign Gary's
first away mission,
115
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,404
so I'd like you to take him
under your wing. You know,
116
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,058
once you change
into your uniform.
117
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,452
No, you know, I thought
I'd keep it "caszh" today.
118
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:08,063
Simple mission, simple outfit.
This guy gets it.
119
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,935
Okay. Speaking of the mission,
120
00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,503
please fill Ensign Gary in
on the particulars.
121
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,331
Can do, hoss. Boom.
122
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,638
Today we're dealing
with a classic "menage."
123
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,466
-"Menage"?
-A menagerie.
124
00:06:19,509 --> 00:06:21,729
Well, it's basically
just a big-ass alien zoo
125
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,513
full of aliens
run by another alien.
126
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:25,123
This one scooped up a couple
of humans...
127
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,951
[short chuckle]
"by accident," so
128
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,344
we got to bust them
the [bleep] out.
129
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,564
Oh, I-I didn't know
it would be dangerous.
130
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:34,306
It's not. And this place
has a strict no-weapons policy.
131
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,221
Eh, menageries
are always capturing humans
132
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,049
then turning them back over
to Starfleet.
133
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:41,052
We'll be in and out, no biggie.
Right, Jack?
134
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:42,663
Let's just get in the shuttle.
135
00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,491
Wait, when
you're a lieutenant JG
136
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,188
you can call him Jack?
137
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:47,494
I always call him Jack
because, you know,
138
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:48,930
socially, we're equals.
139
00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:50,366
Right, Jack?
140
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,846
We're leaving now.
141
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,674
-[chuckles]
-BOIMLER: Oh, boy,
142
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,676
Mirror Universe Archer,
you're gonna love our new room.
143
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,678
Aah...
144
00:06:57,721 --> 00:07:00,376
[groans]
145
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,986
The nacelle is right there?
146
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,684
Okay,
147
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,555
not the best view,
148
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,905
but I'm sure
I'll get used to it.
149
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,994
Aah! Lil' Archer!
Ah...
150
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,346
Take her in nice and easy.
151
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:18,002
Aye aye, sir.
Nice and easy.
152
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,266
-What are you doing?!
-Slow down, slow down,
153
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,137
slow down!
154
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,573
[grunts]
155
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:25,836
[exclaims]
156
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,359
I don't want to die!
157
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,449
[screams]
158
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,366
-Was that nice and easy enough?
-That...
159
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:37,239
was some great piloting.
Let's get to work.
160
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,982
[yelps] I need to replicate
some new pants.
161
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,768
Oh-ho, greetings.
162
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,291
Narj is happy to welcome you
163
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:49,730
to Narj's Miraculous
Menagerarium,
164
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,732
recently voted one
of the top thousand menageries
165
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:52,950
in the quadrant.
166
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,952
-[whinnies]
-Narj will be sad
to lose the humans.
167
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,693
They're incredibly popular.
168
00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,521
How did they even get locked up
here in the first place?
169
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,697
Accidentally scooped up
with a shipment of bipedals.
170
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,003
[laughs]
171
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,788
Narj has to admit that Narj
does have a hard time
172
00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,355
telling non-botanical
creatures apart.
173
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,791
[laughs]
Happens all the time.
174
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,880
Humans are always
getting stuck in menageries.
175
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,969
But don't worry,
I brought my best team with me.
176
00:08:12,013 --> 00:08:14,929
We'll be out of your leaves
lickity split.
177
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:17,235
His best team? What the hell
is that supposed to mean?
178
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,063
I guess the commander likes us.
179
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,457
What? No, he doesn't.
He's messing with me.
180
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,937
He's setting me up
for humiliation
181
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:24,025
when he comes down on me later.
182
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,680
Are you guys
breaking up or something?
183
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,812
Yeah, we are, as coworkers.
184
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,422
And we're gonna
force it right now.
185
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:31,772
I'm having a little trouble
186
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:32,816
decoding the dynamic here,
187
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,297
but I'd really like
to be left out of it.
188
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:40,823
Hey, Narj.
189
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,609
What got you
in the prison business, huh?
190
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,611
Just a cruel weirdo
who loves locking people up?
191
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:47,048
A prison is a place
for criminals.
192
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:50,268
-I've given these
sweet creatures a safe home.
-What about this little guy?
193
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,575
He doesn't deserve to be
in your [bleep]-up hobby.
194
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,621
NARJ:
Hobby? The Moopsy
is Narj's favorite.
195
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,013
Moopsy.
196
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,449
Do you imprison
everything you like?
197
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,713
-Of course.
-[laughs] Mariner,
198
00:08:59,756 --> 00:09:01,845
it's not our place
to judge the menagerie.
199
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,673
We're just here
to collect the humans.
200
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,066
No, you're here
to collect humans.
201
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,111
I'm here to behuman,
202
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,026
which means calling bull[bleep]
when I see it.
203
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,593
Narj does not understand.
204
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,726
Narj abides by Federation law.
205
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:15,032
[chuckles] Don't worry about it.
She's a firebrand,
206
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,947
but I trust her with my life.
207
00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:18,688
No, you're not getting
in my head.
208
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,560
Moopsy.
209
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:29,656
And I can't wait until we're
the same rank again because then
210
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,875
we can get back to praising
people behind their backs.
211
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,878
[chuckles] I think Boimler's
gonna be a great lieutenant.
212
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:36,663
I don't want you to pressure
yourself to get a promotion
213
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,013
just so we can hang out.
It can take years.
214
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:41,929
Don't worry, I've been working
on something pretty impressive.
215
00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,408
Billups is gonna love it.
216
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,889
Commander Billups.
Can I run something by you, sir?
217
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,761
Of course, Mr. Rutherford.
What's up?
218
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,197
For the past year,
I've been working
219
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,938
to decrease vibration
in the warp manifold
220
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:53,201
by a factor of .05.
221
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,116
.05? That can't be right.
222
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:57,640
Well, it wasn't easy, but with
a little ingenuity... [chuckles]
223
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,946
BILLUPS:
No, I mean it can't be right
224
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,904
because, a few minutes ago,
Ensign Livik
225
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:03,646
decreased the vibration
by a factor of .06.
226
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,082
Ensign Livik? Who's that?
227
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,344
-The new guy.
-[whooping, cheering]
228
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,911
[chanting]:
Livik! Livik!
229
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,521
Livik! Livik!
230
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:10,697
Livik.
231
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,742
[groaning]
232
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,836
Ha! Stupid bussard light.
233
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,316
You ain't so tough now.
234
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,926
I'll tell you,
if Livik keeps this up,
235
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,232
he'll have a promotion
in no time.
236
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,537
Let's fire up
his protocol right now.
237
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,844
I want to see
that .06 in action.
238
00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:30,064
[screaming]
239
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,806
Help.
240
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,115
And right this way.
241
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,030
Hello, humans.
242
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,554
Narj hopes you have enjoyed
your stay in the "menage."
243
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:45,775
Now, it is time for you to
return to your natural habitat.
244
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,734
I know you're taking a hit
losing these guys.
245
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,126
We appreciate
the positive attitude.
246
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,781
Not to worry.
My real moneymakers
247
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,914
are the Pyrithian
Swamp Gobblers over there.
248
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:56,046
[roars]
249
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,526
[whines]
250
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,875
Moopsy.
251
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,224
Hm?
252
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,965
Oh, [bleep]!
The Moopsy is free!
253
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,967
Oh, no, your cuddliest
prisoner is loose.
254
00:11:04,011 --> 00:11:05,360
Whatever shall we do?
255
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:06,970
NARJ:
You don't understand.
256
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,580
Everything here
is incredibly dangerous.
257
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,930
MOOPSY:
Moopsy.
258
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,540
RANSOM: Can't be worse
than the Swamp Gobblers.
259
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,456
Of course it's worse!
They only gobble you.
260
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,197
The Moopsy drinks your bones!
261
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,938
How does something drink bones?
262
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,680
[roars]
263
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,899
Holy [bleep]!
264
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,596
NARJ:
Run! Run for your lives!
265
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,295
[others screaming]
266
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:32,430
[fussing]
267
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,302
Moopsy.
268
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,347
RUTHERFORD:
Come on, come on, come on,
show me that sweet
269
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:37,914
incremental improvement.
270
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,220
Yes!
271
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,265
Commander Billups?
You might want to sit down.
272
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,006
I increased the power output
273
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,661
of the Tucker Tubes
by seven pico-cochrans.
274
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,271
That's great, Rutherford.
275
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,273
I just hope those adjustments
can apply to the Billups Tubes.
276
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,361
The what now?
277
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:52,320
Ensign Livik figured out
how to add
278
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,975
a third tube without triggering
a Heisenberg collapse.
279
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,193
A third tube?
280
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,979
Yeah, and he named it
the Billups Tubes.
281
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,545
[laughs] Classic Livik.
282
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:01,982
-I-I don't even know
what we use these for,
-[grunts]
283
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:02,939
but I love them.
284
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,811
-GROUP [chanting]: Livik! Livik!
-Livik.
285
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:09,598
Wow, so close to the holodecks.
This is gonna be awesome.
286
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:12,862
[sighs] That's more like it.
287
00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,951
Thanks for helping me
get my new quarters, sir.
288
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,605
Happy to help, baby bear.
289
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,129
Well, have fun getting
settled in. I've got to run.
290
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,697
Dr. T'Ana and I have a date
on the holodeck.
291
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,133
Have fun.
292
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,483
You ready to get disgusting?
293
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:28,182
Has that ever
stopped you before?
294
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:33,491
T'ANA:
Computer, activate
T'Ana program 35.
295
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:36,973
Uh, how thin are these walls?
296
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:38,192
ROBIN HOOD:
With me, my merry men.
297
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,933
We must make haste to the castle
298
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,717
to save the Maid Marion.
299
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,458
Ow! What are you doing?
300
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,069
T'ANA:
Shut your [bleep] face.
I'm Robin Hood now.
301
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,593
Toodley doo!
Shaxs, hold him down.
302
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,378
SHAXS:
You've already hurt him
pretty bad.
303
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,815
-T'ANA: Kick his head!
-ROBIN HOOD: Help! A cat
304
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:56,253
-has stolen my hat and arrows.
-[thumping]
305
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,603
SHAXS:
Can't we just do the program
as intended for once?
306
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,388
T'ANA:
Oh!
307
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,520
-[loud banging]
-[sighs, clears throat]
-[microphone feedback]
308
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:05,045
FREEMAN:
And now that I am president
309
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,481
-of all Starfleet,
-[groans]
310
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,091
allow me to present
311
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:10,877
my inaugural scatting.
[scatting]
312
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,618
Why is there a room
between two holodecks?
313
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,229
-T'ANA: Don't make me arrow you!
-[scatting continues]
314
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,491
SHAXS:
Ow! Stop that.
315
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,232
-T'ANA: Make me!
-SHAXS: Ow!
316
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:20,060
T'ANA:
I steal from the [bleep]
and give to my [bleep]!
317
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:22,062
[Narj screaming]
318
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,240
[fussing]
319
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,937
Moopsy.
320
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,460
[all panting]
321
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,984
[screams]
322
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,422
[thud]
323
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,728
[grunts]
324
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:39,731
So much... [gasps]
for these new pants.
325
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:40,907
MARINER:
Uh, no-weapons policy
326
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,952
in a death-trap zoo?
[bleep] genius.
327
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,999
-What's your problem?
-Do I really have to say it?
328
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,696
Wait, you think
I let that thing out?
329
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,393
You've been pulling
insubordinate crap all day.
330
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:50,568
Oh, that is rich.
331
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:51,613
You're the one who let
332
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,223
a bone-eating monster
out of its cage.
333
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,529
Uh, Narj will
make sure the Moopsy
334
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,096
is still attacking the door.
335
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,488
Yeah, I've been pushing
your buttons, because
336
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,316
I knew you were looking
for a reason to demote me,
337
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,057
and of course it's for something
I didn't even do.
338
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,580
Wait, why would I want
to demote you?
339
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:05,714
Gee, I don't know, how about
our entire working relationship?
340
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,194
What? I'm a good boss.
341
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:09,065
You stabbed me in the foot
with a battle blade,
342
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,286
you-you turned into a giant head
and tried to eat me,
343
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,722
you tried to trick me
into messing up
344
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,506
-on that space elevator...
-That was an orbital lift.
345
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,813
And then, after you promised
you would believe in me,
346
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,032
I heard you tell Shaxs
in the gym
347
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,903
that I wasn't gonna
be your problem anymore.
348
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,036
W-What? The gym?
You heard that?
349
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,559
Ha! You admit it.
350
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:27,127
All I meant is that
you're not gonna be my problem
351
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,390
because I'm not gonna take the
bait with your insubordination.
352
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:31,174
Bait? What-what are you
talking about?
353
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:32,219
Ugh, it's all in your file.
354
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,003
You've been promoted
a dozen times,
355
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,136
then you always get demoted
for acting out.
356
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,051
-Yeah, 'cause I'm a, you know,
I'm a free spirt.
-No.
357
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:40,401
Because you're manipulating
your commanding officers.
358
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,403
I'm gonna be the first one
who doesn't fall for it.
359
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:43,970
Trust me, it's not easy.
360
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,407
[scoffs]
I do not try to get demoted.
361
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,409
What have you
been doing all day?
362
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,411
No. I... I was... You...
363
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,369
Uh... Okay, fine,
that was just today.
364
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,763
-You always do.
-No, I don't. I...
365
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:57,113
Shut up. [sighs]
366
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,115
-Why would I do that?
-I don't know.
367
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:02,031
But I'm sorry to say you still
have my unwavering support,
368
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,598
no matter how hard you make it.
369
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:05,382
[sighs]
370
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,818
I didn't let the Moopsy out.
371
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,559
I believe you.
372
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,518
Okay. Thank you.
373
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,868
I'm glad you two worked
your whole thing out,
374
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,262
but can we maybe focus
on the bone-drinking monster
375
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:17,307
this plant guy
probably set loose?
376
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,527
You accuse Narj
of Moopsy freeing?
377
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,268
Narj would never
do such a thing.
378
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:24,184
Not even if we got killed and
you kept your valuable humans?
379
00:15:24,227 --> 00:15:26,490
Plus, you're a tree-- you
probably don't even have bones.
380
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,971
Ridiculous!
Narj is ossified. Narj...
381
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,103
-[gasps]
-Hm?
382
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,235
Moopsy.
383
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:33,540
-[growls]
-[screaming]
384
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:37,197
GARY:
It's chugging him!
385
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,679
Wait, the door.
386
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:45,466
-[yawns]
-Phew, no ladders.
387
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,120
Now it can't get back
through those vents.
388
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:49,774
Yeah. Now it's trapped in the...
389
00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:52,864
station's main control room.
390
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,955
Moopsy.
391
00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,752
Ah, this is perfect.
392
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:12,841
A nice, dark Jefferies Tube
393
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,670
where we can't hear anyone
decapitate Peter Pan.
394
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,889
Ah, this is much better
than the bunks.
395
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,239
-Hey, Boimler.
-Aah!
396
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,240
What you doing in here?
397
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:21,545
Hey, Rutherford.
398
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:25,245
Uh, I live here now.
You doing a systems check?
399
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:26,855
Nah, I'm trying to find a way
to diffuse heat conduction
400
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,248
by a few nanojoules.
401
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,380
Oh, some ensign
just came through here
402
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,382
doing the exact same thing.
403
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,123
Seemed like a real wunderkind.
I was impressed.
404
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,516
[scoffs] Livik.
405
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:38,432
Leave some minor improvements
for the rest of us, guy!
406
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:40,042
-Dinner later?
-Sure.
407
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,698
[Gary screaming]
408
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,265
Hey, calm down.
409
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,876
You calm down! If you two
hadn't been bickering,
410
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,313
we wouldn't be falling
into a planet!
411
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:51,923
Nobody's dying today
412
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,274
because I'm gonna crawl through
the vents, unlock the door,
413
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,405
and get the Moopsy
to chase me out,
414
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,711
so you two can rush in
and stabilize
415
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,582
the orbit
while it drinks my bones.
416
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,280
-[grunts]
-Stand down, Mariner.
417
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,455
Jack, we are plummeting.
418
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,457
Even if this works,
we'll only stop re-entry
419
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,198
by the skin of our teeth.
420
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,722
Wait, that's it. Mariner,
421
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,028
punch me in the face.
422
00:17:09,984 --> 00:17:11,377
That's an order, Lieutenant.
423
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,944
Okay. [grunts]
424
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:15,338
Come on, as hard as you can.
[grunts]
425
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,297
[grunts]
426
00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:18,646
-That thing wants bones?
-[exclaiming]
427
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:19,820
We'll give it bones.
428
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,300
MARINER:
Oh, you're a genius.
429
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,346
-[grunting]
-[both laughing]
430
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:28,176
I should have been
an outpost scientist.
431
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,310
-[panting]
-Wait, Rutherford,
432
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:31,876
you've been working yourself
to death all day.
433
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,661
-You don't have to do this.
-No.
434
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,315
This time I nailed it.
435
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,143
I sped up the replicators
by nine whole femtoseconds.
436
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:38,883
I'm definitely getting
a promotion now.
437
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:41,451
You and I'll be the same rank
and stay friends forever.
438
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,931
Billups. Whew.
It took an unbelievable
439
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,802
amount of engineering,
but I finally
440
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,717
managed...
-I'm sure whatever you did
is great, Mr. Rutherford,
441
00:17:46,761 --> 00:17:49,329
-but it'll have to wait
until after the pip ceremony.
-Huh?
442
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:50,112
[cheering]
443
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:53,855
Livik!
444
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,381
I'm sorry, Tendi.
445
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,688
I let you down.
446
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:03,256
-Mr. Rutherford,
stand at attention.
-What?
447
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,736
I am your superior, Ensign.
Do it.
448
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,651
We'll be friends
no matter what our ranks are.
449
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,392
We're going to spend
tons of time hanging out
450
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:11,612
and talking about science
and telling jokes and, you know,
451
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,831
do all the things we used to do.
And that's an order.
452
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:16,443
-Yes, ma'am.
-[both laugh]
453
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,358
Oh, my gosh,
I just gave my first order.
454
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,925
-Oh.
-Man, now I wish
455
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,580
I hadn't turned down
all those promotions.
456
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:24,625
Sorry, what?
457
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,061
You know,
for saving the Cerritos
458
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,236
from the Pakleds
459
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,890
and the Rubidoux
from the space jellyfish,
460
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,934
stuff like that.
461
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:32,023
Wait, why did you
turn them all down?
462
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,635
[sighs] Because I didn't
want my own room
463
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,202
where I wouldn't be near you.
464
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:39,814
Aw, Rutherford, but can't you
just go accept one right now?
465
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:42,251
Nah, they took it really
seriously in engineering.
466
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,384
-You have to earn it
with a scientific...
-Hey, Billups!
467
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:45,428
Can Rutherford
have his promotion
468
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,256
for that time
he removed the hull?
469
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,694
Oh, sure. Ah, sorry, Livik,
maybe next time.
470
00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,438
Wait, I can just ask
for stuff I deserve?
471
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,659
-I guess.
-[chanting]: Rutherford!
Rutherford!
472
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,836
Hooray! [laughs, whoops]
Thanks, everyone.
473
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,447
Rutherford.
474
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:06,406
And also Tendi.
475
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,147
[alarm blaring]
476
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,413
Moopsy.
477
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,505
[grunting]
478
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,511
Moopsy.
479
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:27,601
[grunts] Got you,
you cuddly little murderer.
480
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,821
[laughs] We say-bih-eye
da say-sa orbih!
481
00:19:30,865 --> 00:19:32,475
[snorts] What's that, Gummy?
482
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:34,260
We stabilized
the station's orbit.
483
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:37,567
Oh, man, victory
really is that much sweeter
484
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,265
when you almost got killed.
485
00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,614
I just wish
we could have figured out
486
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,703
how this little guy got out
in the first place.
487
00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:44,966
I mean, it clearly wasn't Narj,
dude was brimming with bones.
488
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,402
[lisping]:
Let's get these humans
489
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,535
out of here. Starfleet security
can figure it out.
490
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,798
Well, at least
it wasn't our fault.
491
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,626
You know, humans
are always being blamed
492
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:55,716
for being dangerous,
but we don't have claws or fangs
493
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,021
-or...
-Hey, that umbrella
494
00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,632
is upside down, yeah?
495
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,074
Did you [bleep] rewire
the Moopsy door?
496
00:20:06,117 --> 00:20:08,163
-You could've got us all killed.
-RANSOM: Wow.
497
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,340
I guess humans really are
the most dangerous game.
498
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,299
Damn it.
499
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,128
MARINER:
Lieutenant junior grade's log..
500
00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:20,001
Nope, no, too weird.
Uh, let's go with
501
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,917
Mariner's log.
So, yeah, of course
502
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,310
it was the humans
in the menagerie
503
00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:25,963
that set the Moopsy free.
504
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,052
They'd seen how profitable
they were as an attraction,
505
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:31,186
so they wanted to kill Narj and
keep the station for themselve.
506
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,493
Humans-- we really
are the worst.
507
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:34,885
-[laughs]
-MARINER: So, anyway,
508
00:20:34,929 --> 00:20:37,366
instead of bringing them
to theCerritos, we left them
509
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,934
in the menagerie until somebody
else has time to pick them up.
510
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:41,327
Could take a while.
511
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,503
As for Ransom,
it took some doing,
512
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:45,505
but Dr. T'Ana was able
to fix him up
513
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:46,897
with a new set of chompers.
514
00:20:46,941 --> 00:20:48,595
Just don't eat any hard stuff
for a few days
515
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:51,119
while the veneers set.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
516
00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:53,034
I have to go kill
the sheriff of Nottingham
517
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,427
for being a little [bleep] face.
518
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,689
[laughs]
519
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:57,995
So, uh, sorry I knocked
all your teeth out.
520
00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,736
I ended up only needing,
like, ten of them.
521
00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:02,130
I was just happy
you were following my orders.
522
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:04,175
I'm sorry I doubted you, sir.
523
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:06,308
I haven't always been the
most supportive over the years,
524
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,354
but at least now you know
I'm definitely not gonna let you
525
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,920
self-sabotage anymore.
526
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:12,358
So, maybe we can cool it
on the reign of terror.
527
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:15,056
Yeah. Yeah.
That'll be, uh, interesting.
528
00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:16,144
Trust me, Mariner,
529
00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:18,146
you're gonna be a great officer.
530
00:21:18,189 --> 00:21:19,887
Just like me.
531
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,195
-Congrats on the promotion, man.
-Thanks.
532
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:25,806
And great call on us
being roommates.
533
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,982
We're gonna get even better
quarters than if we were alone.
534
00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:30,550
Oh, really? No way.
535
00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,768
[chuckles]
Aah!
536
00:21:31,812 --> 00:21:34,205
No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
this can't be happening.
537
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,468
Whoa! That's bright.
538
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:38,209
Just got to dim the view ports,
539
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:40,168
and we're all set.
540
00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:41,822
[whimpers]
541
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,215
Hope you don't mind me tinkering
on projects all night. Ow!
542
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:47,131
[chuckles] If you see any
sparks, just stamp them out.
543
00:21:47,175 --> 00:21:48,350
[sighs]
544
00:21:48,394 --> 00:21:50,134
Ooh! Ah...
545
00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:53,921
Huh.
546
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:55,270
You know what?
547
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,925
This is already starting
to feel like home.
548
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:03,365
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
549
00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,291
[man imitates weapons firing]
550
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,252
Chirp.
40956
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