All language subtitles for 3rd Rock from the Sun - S04E22 - Near Dick Experience (1080p x265 EDGE2020)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,938 --> 00:00:06,304 Harry: hi. Reservation For solomon. 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:07,172 Right this way. 3 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,374 Uh, you must Be new here. 4 00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:10,308 That's our table. 5 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,477 Yeah. 6 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,378 Oh, I'm sorry. That table's reserved. 7 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:16,681 That's right. Reserved for us. 8 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:20,218 Sir, this is A gas receipt. 9 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:23,588 3 gallons worth. 10 00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:26,691 Uh, look, Do you want this To get ugly? 11 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,193 'cause, um--ahem-- 12 00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:31,430 I am jonesing For some ugly. 13 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,131 I'm sorry, But that table 14 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,267 Is reserved For the owner tonight. 15 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,602 Maybe you don't Know who you're Talking to. 16 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,938 When I come here On my birthday, 17 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:41,673 I get a free entree, 18 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,475 When I buy An entree, 19 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,776 Providing I pay... 20 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,912 For the more Expensive entree! 21 00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:51,183 Just give us the table, You cow-murdering bastard, Or I swear I'll-- 22 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,822 Whoa! 23 00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,157 Did you see that?! 24 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:01,993 My god, we could Have been killed! 25 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,263 But we weren't, tommy. 26 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,599 We weren't. 27 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:08,533 We're alive. 28 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,435 We are. 29 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:14,372 Thank god We didn't get That table. 30 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:16,942 Bless you For being Such a jerk! 31 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,976 Thanks, jackass! 32 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:21,313 Captioning made possible by Carsey-werner productions 33 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:54,112 And the national Broadcasting company 34 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,984 Look at the way That tree divides-- 35 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:02,420 2 enormous trees Coming from one. 36 00:02:02,422 --> 00:02:06,058 I believe they call that The crotch of the tree. 37 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,261 Why do you think The tree decided To do that? 38 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,130 Like each piece is Taking its own path. 39 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,033 Yeah, each exploring Its own destiny. 40 00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:16,468 But still united, 41 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,637 Right there In the crotch. 42 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,707 How did we never Notice that crotch? 43 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:24,910 Tommy, it's not just The crotch, you see? 44 00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:28,747 I mean, it's like I'm seeing everything For the first time. 45 00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:31,983 What are you guys Doing on the roof At 3:00 in the morning? 46 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,785 What are We doing, dick? We're living. 47 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:34,719 Yeah. 48 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,722 At 3 a.M., You should Be sleeping. 49 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,389 We've Been asleep For years. 50 00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,558 We're Finally awake. 51 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,593 You know, we were Almost killed Tonight, dick. 52 00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:43,695 What? That's awful! 53 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:46,364 Oh, no, no, no. It is so wonderful. 54 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,634 Do you remember When we first landed 55 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,603 And everything Seemed so fresh And new and alive? 56 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:54,172 Well, that's how We feel right now. 57 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,542 Oh, wow. Look at those lights. 58 00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,877 Ooh.I feel Like 59 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,111 They're Piercing My soul. 60 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,313 Oh, yeah. 61 00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:05,484 The flashing lights around The big liquor mart sign? 62 00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:08,753 Lights that insist On shining even in The dark of night. 63 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:10,655 Directing you to buy Discount liquor? 64 00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:13,525 Ooh, whoa! I just realized Something. 65 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,427 We're all Wearing shirts. How great is that? 66 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,362 Ooh, my blue looks Pretty in the moonlight. 67 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,963 Who came up With shirts? 68 00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:21,199 But they're just shirts. We always wear shirts. 69 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,835 Remember when We were that blind? 70 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:24,903 How sad. 71 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:32,377 All right, here's a list Of the gear you'll need 72 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,780 For the staff retreat On mount digney. 73 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:35,981 This'll Be fun. 74 00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,717 Are there gonna be Snakes out there? 75 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,852 If you're asking If my lawyer's coming, 76 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,186 The answer is no. 77 00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:45,590 Ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! 78 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,028 Look at this Paper clip. 79 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,097 I'm looking. 80 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:56,535 This must be the most Extraordinary paper clip I've ever seen. 81 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:57,602 Why? 82 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,103 Well, look at it. 83 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,339 I feel like it's Piercing my soul. 84 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,242 It's piercing Your soul? 85 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,243 Yeah. Why not? 86 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,878 You know what Your problem is? 87 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,413 You take everything For granted. 88 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,048 Don't you all wish You could be like me, 89 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,817 Seeing everything For the first time? 90 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,720 Huh? Well, don't you? 91 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,957 Ok, tell me what You see exactly. 92 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,527 Well, This paper clip is... 93 00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:24,696 An unusual-type Specimen. 94 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,131 It's gray, uh... 95 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:29,667 Slightly curlier Than yours. 96 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:34,038 Oh, I'm such a fraud! 97 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,140 I don't even Like paper clips! 98 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:37,909 Leave me alone! 99 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,446 Tommy! Tommy, listen! 100 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,914 I've been thinking. 101 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:46,752 I have spent my entire Time on this planet Being mean to people. 102 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,254 All I have been doing Is spreading fear. 103 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,221 That's true. 104 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,923 Yeah. So, I have decided now 105 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,491 I'm just Gonna help people, 106 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,660 People like these Poor, miserable souls. 107 00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:56,761 Look. 108 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:59,864 That's the cast Of les miz. 109 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,903 Sally, listen up. 110 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,305 If poor folks and losers Are your bag, 111 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,907 Then go out there And help 'em. 112 00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,375 Follow your dream. 113 00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:14,345 I-I've never heard you Talk like this, harry. 114 00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,147 Harry? Ahh... 115 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,215 Harry let other people Define him. 116 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:19,550 Harry let other people 117 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:22,087 Tell harry Who harry was. 118 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,657 Well, a chandelier Fell on harry. 119 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,758 Harry's dead. 120 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,661 Then who Are you? Me? 121 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,263 I'm a.J. 122 00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,369 It's nice To meet you, a.J. 123 00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:38,303 Dick: hey, guys! 124 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,472 Hey, hey, hey, guys! 125 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:43,475 I--I can't find joy In this paper clip. 126 00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:46,110 I'm not missing Anything, am I? 127 00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,647 So little... 128 00:05:49,649 --> 00:05:51,282 But so much. It's beautiful. 129 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,417 Oh, god. 130 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,352 What is it? I don't get it. 131 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,087 What am I not seeing? 132 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,021 Alissa: hello! 133 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,590 Alissa! Hey. 134 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,924 Hi! Ohh...Hi. Oh! 135 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,826 Did you wash Your hands? 136 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,995 Oh, it's so good To see you. 137 00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,463 Yeah, it's good To see you, too. 138 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,866 I love you so much. Come with me. 139 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,934 There's a crotch I want to show you. 140 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,209 Bless you, Miss sally. 141 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:22,346 Oh, no, chester. Bless you. 142 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,284 Sally. Hi, don. 143 00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:29,821 It's so nice to see you Down here at the mission Helping out. 144 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,690 Oh, well, hey, you know, It's a whole new me. 145 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,426 I've decided I'm gonna devote My whole life to this. 146 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,694 Well, that's great, sally. 147 00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:39,497 How about Some chicken vegetable And double crackers? 148 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,068 It's for them. 149 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,703 Oh, of course. 150 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:45,704 Oh, don. 151 00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:48,039 Thank you so much For helping out. 152 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,709 Well, you know, You do what you can. 153 00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:51,710 Thanks. 154 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,245 Get your hands Off that. Come on. 155 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,517 So, uh, you Volunteering, Too, harry? 156 00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,852 The name's a.J. 157 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,687 No, it's not. Yes, it is. 158 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,322 I know who I am. You know who you are? 159 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,557 I'm don. 160 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,225 Well, if you Think you're don, You will be don. 161 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,326 I know I'm don. 162 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,428 Well, there you go. 163 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,963 What are you Talking about? 164 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,066 I'm talking about Dreams, people. 165 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:19,137 There is no limit to What you can accomplish In your dreams-- 166 00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,972 No boundaries, no fear. 167 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,607 But then what happens? 168 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,543 You wake up, And the dream is gone. 169 00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,745 It's over. 170 00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,980 Now, what I'm talking about 171 00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,616 Is dreaming The possible dream. Yeah? 172 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,619 What is your dream, Sir? 173 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,422 I--I always wanted To play the piano. 174 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:38,857 Well, Who's stopping ya? 175 00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,192 you are Stopping you. 176 00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,526 The only person Standing 177 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,929 Between you and Your dream is you. 178 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,530 I don't have a piano. 179 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,934 Well, I don't Have a piano. 180 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,303 Look at me. Hasn't held me back. 181 00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,845 Ok, so you weren't Killed by a chandelier. 182 00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,079 What's the big deal? 183 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,347 Well, don't you see? 184 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,583 I mean, there are Chandeliers hanging Over our heads 185 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,551 Everywhere That we go In this world. 186 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,219 There are? 187 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,221 Yeah. Ok, So the chandelier 188 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,889 Can come In many forms. 189 00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:14,558 I mean, it could be Something as horrifying 190 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,761 As the bite Of a diseased rat 191 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,798 Or as whimsical As an open manhole. 192 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,200 I guess I just never heard That expression before. 193 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:24,069 Yeah, ok, But the point is 194 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,937 That every time I see you, 195 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,806 It could be The last time. 196 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,508 You know, Every kiss could be Our last kiss. 197 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,510 Tommy, did a rat bite you? 198 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,479 Alissa strudwick... 199 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,849 Will you marry me? 200 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:41,886 Shut up. No. Marry me. 201 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,288 No, get up off the floor. 202 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,822 Ok, well, if we're Gonna get married, 203 00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,458 You're gonna Have to stop Bossing me around. 204 00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:47,558 Shut up! 205 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:55,066 Why does this world Leave me so cold? 206 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:59,137 Why does it hide Its beauty from me? 207 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,172 Hey! 208 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,175 Get away from that daffodil, You stupid hummingbird! 209 00:09:06,646 --> 00:09:09,714 Dick, we still Haven't gotten Your release form 210 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,516 For the staff Retreat. 211 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,516 Oh, that. 212 00:09:12,518 --> 00:09:14,418 We need An accurate head count 213 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,354 To get 10% off On parking. 214 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,955 You're holding us Back, dick. 215 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,857 Why should I go? 216 00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,226 So the sunset Can bore me? 217 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,830 So a marmot Can lick my Oblivious face? 218 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:28,833 So I can Be so lost In my ennui 219 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:32,837 That I fall Off a cliff And--and... 220 00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,572 And nearly Plummet to my... 221 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,145 I'm in! 222 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,147 What are you So damn excited about? 223 00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,516 I'm in! I'm going On that camping trip, 224 00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:51,589 And I am going to have A near-death experience If it kills me! 225 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,893 Thank you, Miss sally. 226 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,128 Oh, please. 227 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,897 Your patheticness Has shown me 228 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,565 How fortunate I am, So... 229 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,101 For that, I thank you. 230 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,670 A chandelier fell on harry, But who walked out? 231 00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,872 A.J. A.J. A.J. 232 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,240 That's right. 233 00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,244 Let me break it down For you, people. 234 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:17,115 Have any of you ever felt Like a slave to your job? 235 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,949 No. No. No. 236 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:21,720 Sometimes I do. 237 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,788 Come on, rico. 238 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,989 I do. 239 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:27,391 Stop planting ideas In his head, harry. 240 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:29,227 The name's a.J. 241 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,828 And I don't plant ideas. 242 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,497 The seeds Are already there-- 243 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,065 The seeds Of your dreams. 244 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,334 I just bring 'em on out Into the sunshine. 245 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,802 Well, let's take you, don. 246 00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,904 You're a cop. You carry a loaded gun. 247 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,238 Yeah. 248 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,841 But you're Not superbright, Now, are you? 249 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,576 No-- Wait a minute! 250 00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:47,245 Not bright, loaded gun-- You'll be lucky If you see 30. 251 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,180 Ha. I'm way Past that now. 252 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:51,850 No, don! This is not who you are! 253 00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,851 This is not your life. 254 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:54,852 It isn't? 255 00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:56,421 No. 256 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:59,490 What do you know About a place Called bhutan? 257 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,427 I think they Shut 'em down For serving dog. 258 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,498 No, rico. It's a kingdom In the himalayas. 259 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,632 They speak tibetan 260 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:11,302 And value a little thing Called self-realization. 261 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,638 Would you like To realize yourself, don? 262 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,539 Well, it sounds good In theory. 263 00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:16,774 Then go! 264 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:18,776 Go to bhutan! 265 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:22,580 Follow your destiny! 266 00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,415 I'm going To bhutan! 267 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,518 Rico! 268 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,187 We were supposed to Go to cocoa beach! 269 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,187 Rico! 270 00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:34,191 ♪ one bottle of beer On the wall ♪ 271 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,793 ♪ one bottle of beer ♪ 272 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,829 ♪ you take it down And pass it around ♪ 273 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:43,801 ♪ there'll be no more Bottles of beer on the wall ♪ 274 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,136 All right. 275 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,439 We'll head To the mountain At 8 a.M. Sharp. 276 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:48,606 Any questions? 277 00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,274 Uh, yes. As we climb, 278 00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:53,744 Will you point out Any crevasses that I might plummet into? 279 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,613 I will! 280 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,449 There's nothing Like that here. 281 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:01,118 Well, I-is there A dead man's anything? 282 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,920 You see, I'm looking For the kind-- 283 00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:03,988 Shut up, dick! 284 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,256 All right, I'm turning in. 285 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:06,724 Oh, and a word To the wise: 286 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,726 Everybody Put your food In the bear bags. 287 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,894 This is Bear country. 288 00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,895 Thank you, vincent. 289 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:11,896 Nina: Good night. 290 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:12,897 Good night, Vincent. 291 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:13,898 Good night, mary. 292 00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:18,102 Dick, what are you doing With that sandwich? 293 00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:19,971 Vincent just said That was dangerous. 294 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:23,108 Well, you know what I love about bears. 295 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,510 They'll almost kill you Every time. 296 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,612 No, dick, they will kill you every time. 297 00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,114 They will? 298 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,727 Good night, vincent. 299 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,730 Ok, tommy, I'm really sorry. 300 00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:48,866 I never meant to hurt Your feelings, you know. 301 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:50,968 It's just that We're so young. We have plenty of time. 302 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,270 It's all right. 303 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,340 I mean, you can't understand Where I'm coming from 304 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,842 'cause you haven't experienced What I've experienced, so... 305 00:12:57,844 --> 00:13:01,345 Now, why don't you try Some perfectly ordinary Peanut brittle? 306 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,215 Tommy, that's a can Full of fake snakes. 307 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,818 What are you talking abou-- It says peanut brittle Right on the front. 308 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,419 Listen. [clunking] 309 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,989 When you shake it, It sounds like there's Peanut brittle inside. 310 00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:11,989 Go ahead. 311 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:13,257 All right. 312 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:14,325 Aah! Snakes! 313 00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,893 They're gonna kill you! 314 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,198 All right, well, What if those were real? 315 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,302 Well, I would hope You wouldn't have Offered them to me. 316 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,036 Yeah, but-- But the point is 317 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:28,239 That there's deadly Peanut brittle out there For everybody. 318 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,074 Yeah, I know, Peanut brittle and Chandeliers everywhere, 319 00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:32,109 And that's why I have to marry you. 320 00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,912 Yes! Good! I'm glad you're Coming around. 321 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,480 No, that's not what I was saying. 322 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,782 Look, I love you. Don't make me cut Your brake lines. 323 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,485 Ok, now you're Threatening me? 324 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,822 No! No, no. No, no, no, no. I... 325 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,491 I just want you To be sufficiently scared 326 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,028 So that you understand That--that... 327 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:53,664 Every moment of life Is so precious, 328 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:57,201 And--and every moment That I'm not with you, 329 00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,504 You know, it's like A moment wasted. 330 00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,039 Ok. 331 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,006 That's really sweet. 332 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,007 Ha. 333 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:03,908 So you'll marry me? 334 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:05,476 No. 335 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,417 Is your harness Secure? 336 00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:13,518 Not especially. 337 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,420 And that's The way I like it. 338 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,288 One of the thrills Of climbing 339 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,591 Is never knowing When your gear Is going to crap out. 340 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,427 Dick, the other group Is over there. 341 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,495 Why are we Going this way? 342 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,497 No, we're leaving The pack behind. 343 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,732 Cat's eye peak awaits. 344 00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,702 You know, the whole Point of these Faculty outings 345 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,004 Is not really An intense climb, 346 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:38,008 More like a brisk walk Followed by a nice, Long happy hour. 347 00:14:38,010 --> 00:14:39,344 This could be dangerous. 348 00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:43,348 Yes, but, mary, I have to perch On the teeth of death 349 00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:47,652 In order to stare Down onto the tonsils Of enlightenment. 350 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:50,087 What, do you have Some kind of death wish? 351 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,523 Actually, it's more Of a near-death wish, 352 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,291 But if we rule out death, 353 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:57,028 I really think it undercuts The experience, you know. 354 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:59,530 Oh, my god. I'm climbing a mountain 355 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,732 Tied To a suicidal maniac! 356 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,067 Help me! Help me! 357 00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,236 Mary! Mary! Please, mary! Help me! Help me! 358 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,207 Remember What judith said. 359 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:11,542 Any loud noise Can cause an avalanche. 360 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,544 [thump, dust falling] 361 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,414 Yodel-oh-ooh-hoo! 362 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,982 Oh, shh! Shh! 363 00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,450 Ah-yodel-oh-ooh-hoo! 364 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,692 Hey! You burned me. 365 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,694 Sorry. Here. 366 00:15:30,696 --> 00:15:32,430 Have an extra bread. 367 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,498 Thanks for nothing. 368 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,668 Man, this is really Starting to get old. 369 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,269 Hey, a.J., 370 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:43,007 You know, I've always Dreamed of working In the movie industry. 371 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:44,742 Can you help me out? 372 00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:49,580 Uh, yeah. I'm gonna Call warren beatty For you right now. 373 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:53,217 A.J., everybody Says you're a real Inspiration. 374 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,886 Tell me, how did you Change your life? 375 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:59,323 You know, you guys, I told this story, like, A million times already. 376 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,425 Why don't you ask One of these guys? 377 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:03,494 They don't seem To be doin' nothin'. 378 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,530 Hey, sally, can I Have that people when You're done with it? 379 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,031 Uh, I'm stuck On a crossword. 380 00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,632 It's gonna Be a while. Oh. 381 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,667 Hey, guys. 382 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:12,836 Isn't it great To be alive? 383 00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:14,671 Yeah. I feel electric. 384 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,807 Yeah. carpe freakin' diem. 385 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,210 Ha ha! Ha... 386 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,479 Uh, who are We kiddin'? It's over. 387 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,615 I was just faking it So I wouldn't harsh your buzz. 388 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,984 Hi, guys. 389 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,319 I just came To say good-bye. 390 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,787 Where you going, don? 391 00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,155 The name's not don. 392 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,890 It's skip. 393 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,461 And I'm going To bhutan! 394 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,796 No way! 395 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:39,797 What?! 396 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:40,798 Why? 397 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,167 Self-realization. 398 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,503 Oh. Yeah. 399 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,874 Are you sure This is what you Wanna do, don? 400 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:53,611 I'm sure I spent $4,000 On a package deal. 401 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:56,247 Well, when are we Gonna see you again? 402 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,614 Maybe never. 403 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,184 Maybe in 3 weeks. 404 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,718 Probably in 3 weeks. 405 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,054 Oh, don't be mad! 406 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:03,987 I'm not mad! 407 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:11,128 Dick, stop What you're doing Right now! 408 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,831 I don't care about Your adrenaline high! 409 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,333 I want to live! 410 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:17,368 I want to live! 411 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,737 You'll live Like never before. 412 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,707 Imagine Tasting a blueberry For the first time 413 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,708 Every time! 414 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,775 Forward! 415 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,645 You're not Taking me with you! 416 00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,379 There we go! 417 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,016 The gaping maw Of the unknown! 418 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:35,219 I'm one fingerhold Away from death 419 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,453 And thus life! 420 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,557 Hi, guys. 421 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,860 I left the watermelon In the car. Stupid. 422 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,297 I'm coming with you. 423 00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:02,312 Nooo! 424 00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,851 Yes! 425 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,853 What? 426 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:12,423 The answer is yes. 427 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,559 I ask you A question? 428 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:17,895 You asked me To marry you. 429 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,931 Oh! 430 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:21,966 Right! 431 00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,401 Wow! All right. 432 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:26,237 Well, um, that's Super-duper there. 433 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,506 You were just So intense. 434 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,041 I couldn't get What you were saying Out of my head, 435 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:33,744 So I asked my mother, My priest, allison, Kristina, and brittany, 436 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,314 And they all said no, But--but I say yes! 437 00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,250 W-w-w-wait. You didn't Listen to your mother? 438 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:42,420 I mean, I don't know If I can marry a girl 439 00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:44,488 Who doesn't listen To her mother. 440 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:47,291 Tommy, are you telling me You've changed your mind? 441 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,827 No, hardly. I'm just Saying that we have to Carefully consider-- 442 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,362 You've changed Your mind. Yeah. 443 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:53,630 I'm an idiot. You know, this is why I said no twice. 444 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:54,731 No, but, alissa, I-- 445 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,733 But then I started Thinking, you know, 446 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:59,904 About how much I like you And how great we are together 447 00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:02,206 And how I'd never Want to lose that. 448 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,707 And sure, it's impulsive, 449 00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,243 But some of the greatest Things you could do In life are impulsive, 450 00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,279 And, I mean, Think about it, tommy, 451 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,815 We could Wake up every morning together In each other's arms forever. 452 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,784 God, I'm a moron! 453 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,554 Alissa, Will you marry me? 454 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,690 No! 455 00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:27,464 Look, dick, I-- I don't care what you do. 456 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,033 You can skydive, Bungee-jump, 457 00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:32,402 Go over niagara falls On a pogo stick For all I care. 458 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:33,971 Just don't drag me along. 459 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,173 I would think You'd be a little more Grateful, mary. 460 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,641 I wanted you To share my experience. 461 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:38,642 Thank you. 462 00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:41,044 Thank you For the gift of death. 463 00:19:41,046 --> 00:19:42,613 It's the thought That counts. 464 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,615 If you wanna Go pick flowers, 465 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,950 Pick flowers In a nice, safe park. 466 00:19:46,952 --> 00:19:49,286 Oh, blah, Blah, blah, blah, Blah, blah, blah. 467 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:50,253 There's a train. 468 00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,589 Oh, I've seen Trains before. 469 00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:55,258 They no longer hold Any excitement for me. 470 00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:56,427 Dick! 471 00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,562 Aah! 472 00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:01,832 Ahh. 473 00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,200 Ohh. 474 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,002 M-mary, Are you all right? 475 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,069 Yes. 476 00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:08,472 Oh, my god. That train Could have killed us. 477 00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,608 We were inches away From death! 478 00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,443 Look what you did To my car! 479 00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,680 But we're alive! Mary, we're alive! 480 00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,448 Dick, do you smell gas? 481 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:22,119 Yes. I feel Like I'm smelling it For the first time. 482 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,522 We're alive! 483 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,728 Nice night, Isn't it? 484 00:20:32,298 --> 00:20:33,564 Eh... 485 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,534 Great news! 486 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,402 I blew up Mary's car! 487 00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,738 Now I can see Life like you do, With aliveness. 488 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:44,708 I'm not actually sure "Aliveness" is a word. 489 00:20:44,710 --> 00:20:46,076 It is now. 490 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:50,281 Come, roll with me In the dewy scent Of the night jasmine. 491 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,784 You know, what's weird Is--is you can smell it Every night, 492 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,319 You know What I'm saying? 493 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:57,021 What's sally Talking about, a.J.? 494 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,824 A.J. Was Full of crap. 495 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:02,092 Heart of gold, Full of crap. 496 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,629 Hey, guys, I just had another Near-death experience. 497 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,364 Alissa's father Found out I proposed, 498 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,666 And he came after me With a bat. 499 00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:12,503 So you can still be In my soul posse. 500 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:16,073 Uh, it didn't really work The second time. 501 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,607 But look... 502 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:21,945 In the distance I see The shining brilliance Of the liquor mart sign. 503 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,081 Remember this moment, dick. 504 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:28,185 God, I wish I could see With your clarity. 505 00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:32,088 Can you make out If those tall boys Are still on sale? 506 00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:41,265 Captioning made possible by Carsey-werner productions And the national Broadcasting company 507 00:21:41,267 --> 00:21:43,401 Man, this place Must be good. 508 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:44,835 Look at the line. 509 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,937 Yeah. Wonder what soup They've got. 510 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:50,340 I've been hankering for A nice lobster bisque all day. 511 00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,576 Come on, chester, Move it along. 512 00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:54,244 We got Hungry people here. 513 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:58,182 Yeah. Some of us have jobs To get back to, all right? 514 00:21:58,184 --> 00:22:01,384 Captioning performed by The national captioning Institute, inc. 515 00:22:01,386 --> 00:22:03,320 What are you All looking at? 516 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:07,224 Public performance of captions Prohibited without permission of National captioning institute 38888

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