Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,068 --> 00:00:02,468
high commanders log:
2
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:04,269
it's been days since harrys been missing
3
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:05,737
and I'm damned if I know where he is.
4
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,105
here's what I do know.
5
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:10,242
harry ran across vicki dubcek's ex-boyfriend.
6
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,277
I'm lookin'
For a scrawny little runt.
7
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:15,547
There are a few
Of those around here.
8
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:17,783
Come on!
9
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,419
Harry's gone!
10
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:21,586
Harry's gone!
11
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,855
We know! Shut up!
12
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,125
before we knew it that crazed redneck dragged harry off.
13
00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:29,027
I can only pray, he kept his mouth shut.
14
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,397
Incoming message
From the big giant head!
15
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,200
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
You goin' hulk on me?!
16
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:39,103
Remember, your human
Bodies are property
Of the big giant head
17
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:41,707
And can be revoked
At any time.
18
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,042
Hot diggety damn!
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,511
This ain't
No normal runt!
20
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:50,014
I got me
A bona fide freak!
21
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,217
There could be
Money in this.
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,185
Oh, yeah!
23
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:55,687
where could he be?
24
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:56,822
where?
25
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,265
Ladies and gentlemen,
26
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:10,902
Garvin's gallery of
Apparitions and curiosities
27
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,637
Is proud to present...
28
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,339
Hargo the alien.
29
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,952
People of earth...
30
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,888
I come in peace.
31
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:33,558
I am hargo.
32
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,560
Just hargo.
33
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:39,598
Where I come from,
We don't have last names,
34
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,399
Which makes it
Really difficult,
35
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:47,805
Because on my planet,
Hargo is a really popular name.
36
00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:49,474
Much like your bob.
37
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:52,945
W-wait a second, you guys.
38
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,680
Did I mention
That I come in peeeee--
39
00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:58,116
Incoming message
From the big giant head!
40
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,652
Our records continue
To indicate
41
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:03,187
That you have failed to file
Your status report.
42
00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,957
Immediate response
Mandatory.
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:09,627
Penalties
For delinquency include,
But are not limited to,
44
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:14,833
Systematic disconnection
Of your high commander's
Brain functions.
45
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,634
Have a nice day!
46
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,637
Transmission
Ending in 3...2...1--
47
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,772
Ah-choo!
48
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:25,377
[cheering]
49
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,015
All right, bye.
50
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,816
Ok, I've made an appointment
With the psychic.
51
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,018
She's gonna tell us
Where harry is.
52
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,419
Great. Let's go.
53
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,054
Wait, wait. Now,
If she's so psychic,
54
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:37,656
Why doesn't she
Just use her powers
55
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:38,990
To win the lottery
Or something?
56
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,861
Because psychics are not
In it for the money, tommy.
57
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,531
They are here
To help people.
58
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:51,069
See, that's why
They stay on the line
As long as you need them.
59
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,172
You guys, we're wasting time.
Come on, dick! Let's go.
60
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,674
We're going
To a psychic.
61
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,608
We're going
To a psychic? Why?
62
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,709
To help find harry.
63
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:58,744
Harry's missing?
64
00:02:58,746 --> 00:02:59,845
Why didn't anybody tell me?!
65
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,479
Uh, 'cause you knew?
66
00:03:01,481 --> 00:03:03,314
I most certainly did not!
67
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:05,183
Let's get going!
68
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,685
Where are my car keys?
69
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,619
They're in your hand.
70
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,554
Ah, found them.
71
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:10,722
Now we can go.
72
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,024
All right, let's get moving.
Come on, harry!
73
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:16,027
Dick...Harry's missing.
74
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,063
What?! My god! Well, why are
We all just sitting around?!
75
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,232
We gotta go find harry!
76
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,134
We're going
To the psychic for help.
77
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:24,802
Good idea.
I'll give you a ride.
78
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:25,804
Where are my car keys?
79
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,072
Check your hand, dick!
80
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,506
Ah. Here they are.
81
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:31,209
Come on, let's go. Harry!
82
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,345
I'm gonna go borrow
Mama's el camino.
83
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:36,081
Dick?
84
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,116
Um, are you ok?
85
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:39,117
I'm fine.
86
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,052
Wait!
You don't think
87
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,753
That this is some
Sort of punishment
88
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,055
From the big
Giant head
89
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,389
For not sending in
The status report?
90
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,758
Oh, please!
91
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,694
Did you hear that, harry?
92
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,496
Harry?
93
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:52,864
harry! d-oh!
94
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,433
Great! Harry's run off
With my car keys!
95
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,540
Captioning made possible by
Carsey-werner productions
96
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,342
And the national
Broadcasting company
97
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:07,412
Captioning performed by
The national captioning
Institute, inc.
98
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:33,271
Public performance of captions
Prohibited without permission of
National captioning institute
99
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:36,741
[knock on door]
100
00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,742
Yeah.
101
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,077
Garvin, can I talk
To you for a minute?
102
00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:42,146
Hargo, have a seat.
103
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:46,852
Look, I'm afraid that
Somewhere along the line,
104
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,788
You've got the mistaken
Impression that I--
105
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,923
Ha ha ha...
106
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,491
Am an alien.
107
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:54,726
And I'm not.
108
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,728
Of course
You're not, kid,
109
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:57,995
But here's the magic.
110
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,631
You make me believe.
111
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,234
Hmm. Well, thanks, but if
It's all the same to you,
112
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,803
I'd just as soon go home.
113
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,271
It would be fun,
Wouldn't it--
114
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:07,305
Oh, darn the luck.
115
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,707
I just remembered,
That's a no-can-do.
116
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,277
I've got a signed
Contract, my friend.
117
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,845
Wait a second.
118
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,447
I don't remember
Signing any contract.
119
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:19,617
Yeah, but your
Former associate
Randy lefornier did.
120
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,953
Yeah...
121
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:25,090
Yeah...
122
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,557
Here's the deal.
123
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:29,894
See, he's not so much
My former associate
124
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:32,864
As much as he's
My former kidnapper.
125
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:36,400
Yeah, and I'm sure that
My family's worried about me.
126
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,569
Your family?
Where are they?
127
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:38,570
I don't know.
128
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,038
But they're not here,
Are they?
129
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,072
If they cared about you,
Wouldn't they come
Looking for you?
130
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,373
Well, they probably
Are looking.
131
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,808
I don't think so.
I bet they
Put up posters.
132
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,409
I know for a fact
They have not!
133
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:48,179
Those bastards!
134
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,714
I hate them as well.
135
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,818
But you have a new
Family now, hargo.
136
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,220
A family that
Understands your talent,
137
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,321
A family that's going
To harness that talent
For profit.
138
00:05:57,323 --> 00:05:59,424
My profit?
Slow down.
139
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,862
You're going
To be big, hargo,
So big it scares me.
140
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,765
Well, what,
Like flipper boy big?
141
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,934
Human pincushion big.
142
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,046
I'm sensing...
143
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,182
That someone
You love is missing.
144
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:27,318
How did you know that?
145
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,555
You told her on the phone.
146
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,458
Did you bring me
A lock of his hair?
147
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,793
Uh, no, ma'am, I didn't,
148
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:38,796
But I've got some letters
Of his and, uh,
149
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,199
This is my wonderbra.
It's his sleep toy.
150
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:45,504
Here's a picture of him.
151
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,005
Oh, yes, yes.
152
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,942
I'm getting some very strong
Vibrations from these.
153
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,211
Wait a minute.
I've seen this guy.
154
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,713
Here we go.
155
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,147
She's havin'
A vision.
156
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,582
No, no, I'm not.
157
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:01,352
I saw this guy at
The lapine county fair.
158
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,421
You saw him in your head.
159
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:07,091
No, no.
I saw him at the fair.
He's working there.
160
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,927
Well, why don't you
Lay out some cards
161
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,428
And you can
Tell us more.
162
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,831
Wait! No, no, no.
She doesn't need
To lay out cards.
163
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,131
We can go get harry.
Come on!
164
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:17,201
Well. Tommy, I guess
You were right.
165
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:20,004
This woman is
Nothin' but a sham.
166
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:22,740
Thank you. You've
Really been a big help.
167
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,309
Bitch.
168
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:31,016
Losing my memory, bah!
169
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,653
I found the university
With no trouble at all.
170
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,154
Good afternoon,
Dr. Solomon.
171
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,756
And a fine afternoon
It is, gwen.
172
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,160
Excuse me?
173
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,161
What?
174
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,863
Oh, sorry.
175
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,064
Eh, how do you
Pronounce your name?
176
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,299
Nina.
177
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:48,800
Yeah, I know that.
178
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,570
This isn't my lipstick.
179
00:07:52,572 --> 00:07:53,938
That's not your desk.
180
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,373
I know that!
181
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:58,376
I was just looking
For my lipstick.
182
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:00,478
Oh, hi, dick.
183
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,714
Hi, there, pretty lady.
184
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,616
Is there any news
About harry?
185
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:08,653
News? What's
The last news you heard?
186
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,354
That he's still
Missing.
Who's missing?
187
00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:12,057
Harry!
188
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,724
I know that.
189
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,626
Now, uh,
If you'll excuse me,
I have an appointment.
190
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,261
You can't
Get out that way.
191
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,763
I know that.
192
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:22,834
[crash]
193
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,439
Hi, guys.
194
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:29,674
Hey, hargo.
195
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:34,378
Kudos on
Your performance
Tonight, hargo.
196
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:37,148
Well, thank you,
Giganticus.
197
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,616
That's nice to hear,
198
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:41,752
Comin' from the man
That I would consider
To be king.
199
00:08:41,754 --> 00:08:44,622
Well, even
The tallest man
In the world
200
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:46,558
Will stoop
To pay a compliment
201
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,526
When it's
So well-deserved.
202
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,463
Oh, get outta here,
Ya nutball.
203
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:54,132
You're gonna make me cry.
204
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,171
We know where harry is!
We know where harry is!
205
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,372
We know where harry is!
206
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,775
Ok. We need to go to
The lapine county fair.
207
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:04,776
How's dick?
208
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,777
Oh, not so good.
209
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,546
I thought he could
Use some fresh air,
210
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:12,117
So I sent him down
To the old town road
To pick up strawberries.
211
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,685
Wow.
212
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,021
You're back quick.
213
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:20,425
[as henry fonda]
You want to know why
I came back so fast?
214
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,394
I got to the end
Of our driveway,
215
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:25,730
And I couldn't remember
Which way to go.
216
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,632
I went into
Our backyard,
217
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:29,667
And nothing looked
Familiar to me.
218
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,736
Not one damn tree.
219
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,738
Scared me
Half to death.
220
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:38,243
Snap out of it, ya old poop.
221
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,813
All right. Now get his jacket.
We got to roll.
222
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,815
Mary: dick?
223
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,750
Dick...
224
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,420
I know how hard this has
Been on all of you,
225
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,453
So I made you
A casserole.
226
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:50,755
What stinks?
227
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,825
It's got onions.
228
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:55,659
I can't have onions.
229
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,828
Come on, dick.
We gotta get going.
230
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,664
Get going?! What,
You know where harry is?
231
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:03,501
If I did, will ya
Take that stink pot
Outta here?
232
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:06,570
Hey, mama made us a sackful
Of sandwiches for the trip.
233
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:09,106
Now, you be careful
At that fair.
234
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,409
The moonshine,
The mutant pigs,
235
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,143
The ex-cons
Runnin' the rides.
236
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,146
You're not gonna
Wanna come back home.
237
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,450
Sally!
What's the big emergency?
238
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,986
Don, we need to go
To the lapine
County fair,
239
00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:23,855
And dick lost
The keys to the car!
240
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,423
I'd love to go.
241
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,558
No. There's no room
For you.
242
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,226
We just need to borrow
Your squad car.
243
00:10:29,228 --> 00:10:30,495
You can't just
Take that car!
244
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,563
It belongs to the cit--
245
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:32,897
Hey, can we use
The siren? Come on!
246
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,799
Only if you're
Going over 80!
247
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,535
I'mafraid of
Virginia woolf! Me!
248
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,639
How long do you think
They'll be gone?
249
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,641
Well, usually when
They take the squad car,
250
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,945
It's 5, 6 hours.
251
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,948
And they think
We're just gonna
Sit here and wait.
252
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,182
Well...
253
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,117
That's what I usually do.
254
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,522
All right, he's not
In the arcade.
255
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,090
Oh, damn!
256
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,092
How are we supposed
To find harry
257
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:04,195
In this sea of blubber
And b.O.?!
258
00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:07,965
Well, all I know is,
I'm gonna find me
A good psychic.
259
00:11:07,967 --> 00:11:11,636
Not one that just...
Recognizes people.
260
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:13,371
Hey, where did dick go?
261
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,605
Oh, great!
262
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,275
I told you we should have
Tied him to a tree!
263
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,144
Guess your weight
For $1.00.
264
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:21,946
$1.00.
Guess your weight?
265
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:25,216
Oh, all right, young man,
You got a deal.
266
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:28,353
205. Step on
The scale, please.
267
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,925
Ah. 205, right
On the button.
268
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:34,825
I'll be.
269
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:38,196
Ha ha. Guess
Your weight for $1.00.
270
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,530
$1.00. Guess your weight.
271
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,698
Well, you're on.
272
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,476
Ok.
273
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,444
205. Step on the scale,
Please.
274
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,715
You are good.
275
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,521
Guess your weight?
276
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,594
This should be
Interesting. How much?
277
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:11,095
$5.00.
278
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,464
You got a customer.
279
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:16,100
[music plays]
280
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,910
Harry?!
Harry?!
281
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:31,249
People of earth,
I am hargo the alien.
282
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,116
Oh!
283
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,118
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
284
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:41,659
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
285
00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:46,064
We are from a superior race.
286
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:51,702
Our brains are far more
Evolved than yours.
287
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,070
Why don't we
Just grab him?
288
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,505
Good idea, bonehead!
289
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,474
Then we create even
More of a scene.
290
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,408
I'm sorry!
291
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,910
We visited your
Tiny little planet
292
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,213
Thousands of years ago
293
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:05,249
And built
The towering pyramids!
294
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,717
What? We didn't
Build the pyramids.
295
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,953
We killed the dinosaurs.
296
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,688
We killed
The dinosaurs?
297
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,989
Didn't we?
Oh, whatever.
298
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,125
We come in peace.
299
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,760
And only--[babbling]
300
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:19,263
Incoming message
From the big giant head!
301
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,864
Oh, no!
My god!
302
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,867
This is a good show.
303
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,569
It reminds me
Of george gobel.
304
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:28,472
Stage one of brain
Shutdown is complete.
305
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:32,242
Amygdaloid nucleus and thalamus
Will be disabled next
306
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:35,846
Unless your high commander
Files his status report.
307
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,782
Transmission ending
In 3...2...1--
308
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:40,017
Ah-choo!
309
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:42,720
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
310
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,021
Vicki: oh, man!
311
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,790
Isn't this great?!
312
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:49,494
My boyfriend is
The king of the freaks,
Man!
313
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,730
Oh, yeah, baby,
I'm watchin' you!
314
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,967
You're lookin'
Good up there!
You're lookin' good!
315
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,139
They are
A strange family.
316
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,607
So strange.
317
00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,643
You know,
They have a litter box.
318
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,278
But no cat.
319
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,249
Ok, how about this?
320
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,885
Dick saves his
Toenail clippings
321
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,187
And puts them
In a shredder
322
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,022
'cause he's afraid
Of being cloned.
323
00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:20,391
So odd.
324
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,061
So very...Very odd.
325
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:26,230
Why do we put up
With 'em?
326
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,766
Well, I know
Why you do, don.
327
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,669
I mean, how often
Does a super model
Fall into your lap?
328
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:34,805
You won the lottery.
No offense.
329
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,241
No. None taken.
330
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:40,444
But you've got to admit,
You've got lucky, too.
331
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,014
Excuse me?
332
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,582
Come on, admit it,
333
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,550
You're a lonely schoolmarm
In a one-horse town,
334
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,786
When along comes
A crazy cowpoke
335
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,489
Sniffin' around
Your petticoat.
336
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:54,058
Did dick tell you about
Our gunsmoke game?
337
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:56,994
No.
338
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:58,396
We don't have one.
339
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,432
Look, let us in.
340
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,968
You think
You scare me?
341
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:07,938
You people look
Like...Ants to me.
342
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,175
Harry: let 'em in,
Giganticus.
343
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:18,549
Well, if it isn't
The poor relations.
344
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,384
I knew you'd come around
345
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:23,788
As soon as you found out
I was a star.
346
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:26,224
Oh, hello, vicki.
347
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:30,427
Harry, I've always
Longed for a life
In show business.
348
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:33,097
The big crowds,
The bright lights.
349
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,665
And you know
What's funny?
350
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:38,302
I don't even mind
The stench of manure.
351
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:41,539
Well, well, well,
If it isn't vicki dubcek.
352
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,875
Long time, no see.
Ha ha ha ha!
353
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,310
I'm afraid that you have
The wrong vicki dubcek.
354
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:49,347
Nope. Haven't
Changed a bit.
355
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,416
[nervous laughter]
356
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,351
[sobbing]
357
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:59,256
Look, harry,
Dick is in trouble.
358
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,559
His brain is going, and
You're our only hope!
359
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,694
You have to send in
That status report!
360
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:06,931
No! You can't boss me
Around anymore.
361
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,968
You--you people didn't even
Put up posters!
362
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,404
No! I call the shots now.
363
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,405
Look, harry--
364
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:15,506
Silence!
365
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,475
It's hargo the alien to you.
366
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,679
Is there
A problem here, hargo?
367
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,215
No. I think
We're through.
368
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:27,217
Hey, you're a tall,
Cool drink of water.
369
00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:29,454
Let me ask you something.
370
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,856
Can you eat glass?
371
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,557
Yes, I can.
372
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,497
And no, I won't.
373
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,341
Ah.
374
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:54,946
So you're
The little menace
375
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:57,048
Who keeps leaving
Your tricycle
In my driveway.
376
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,952
Next time, you're not
Getting it back.
377
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,889
Ah, it's not your fault.
378
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:07,091
You've got lousy parents.
379
00:17:08,727 --> 00:17:12,930
I should have known
They would have brought in
The big guns.
380
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:17,368
Mr. Tip-tip, could you
Give us a moment alone?
381
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,471
Maybe you could
Go get a mint.
382
00:17:25,077 --> 00:17:28,780
Look, dick, you can just
Save your breath, ok?
383
00:17:28,782 --> 00:17:31,115
I can't answer
The big giant head.
384
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:34,385
'cause if I do, then
He'll stop contacting me.
385
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,821
And then my act is over.
I'm finished.
386
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,189
No. I'm lookin' out for me.
387
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,691
Who are you?
388
00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:44,695
Oh, don't give me that!
389
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:47,498
Come on. I'm just
The same guy I always was,
390
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,565
Only smarter.
391
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,601
I don't know
Who you are.
392
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:54,972
Why, because I'm living
For myself for a change?
393
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,808
Who the hell are you?
394
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,146
You want to know who I am?
395
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:04,648
I'll tell ya who I am!
396
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,785
I don't know anymore,
Dick!
397
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,387
I don't know!
398
00:18:10,389 --> 00:18:12,656
Now you're hurting me.
399
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,225
I know.
400
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:16,360
I've been selfish.
401
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,595
What have
I been thinkin'?
402
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,865
[hargo show music plays]
403
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:27,938
Pardon me, dick,
But I've got a show to do.
404
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,883
That's
A magnificent sweater.
405
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:44,755
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
406
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:54,498
People of earth,
I am hargo the alien.
407
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,400
No. That's my dentist.
408
00:18:56,402 --> 00:19:00,037
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
409
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,206
I come from a galaxy
410
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:04,041
Far, far--
411
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:10,047
Y'know,
I'd like to try something
A little different tonight,
412
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,682
If I could.
413
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:15,886
Now, you've all seen
The big giant head call me.
414
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,856
But you haven't seen me
Call the big giant head.
415
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,559
Let's call him, shall we?
416
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,961
[disappointed murmuring]
No. It'll be great.
417
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,497
I'm just gonna make
A little phone call--
418
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:30,801
Transmission line's open
For the big giant head.
419
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,836
Wh-why is he
Changing the act?
420
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,171
That act was gold!
421
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:41,512
Your status report
Has been received.
422
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,547
Ah-choo!
423
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:47,384
Harry!
424
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:48,385
Dick!
425
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,687
What are you
Doing up there?!
426
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,956
Get off that stage
This instant!
427
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,691
He's back!
And he's pissed.
428
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,692
What a loss.
429
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,695
Hey, shut up! Shut up!
Give him a break!
430
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,062
After all the joy
He's brought
431
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,699
Into your dismal lives,
You ingrates!
432
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,833
Harry! Oh!
433
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:05,168
Harry! We're so glad
You're back!
434
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,069
Glad you're safe, man.
435
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:07,003
Thanks.
436
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:10,141
Why the hell am I
Wearing a diaper?!
437
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,278
[noise downstairs]
438
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,947
That must be them.
439
00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,381
Ok, let's get
This thing straight.
440
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,317
We are not gonna let
Them keep dragging us
Into their insanity.
441
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,719
Damn right!
442
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:24,655
This magnificent
Rottweiler's taking off
The choke chain
443
00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:25,756
Starting right now!
444
00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,391
Follow my lead.
445
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:30,594
Hey, don.
446
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:31,829
Sally.
447
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:32,997
Miss me?
448
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:35,966
Don!
449
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,067
Aw, shut up!
450
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:40,004
Hey! Harry's back!
451
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,505
In the house!
452
00:20:41,507 --> 00:20:43,107
Harry, where were you?!
453
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,475
Oh, it's a long story.
454
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:47,244
Hey, you know what?
You and I ought to
Take a shower.
455
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,646
'cause you smell
Like a monkey.
456
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,148
[making
Monkey noises]
457
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,649
[squealing]
458
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:56,921
Tommy, where was harry?
459
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,422
A freak show.
460
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,058
You know, bearded ladies,
Siamese twins--the usual.
461
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:04,461
Why won't anyone
Tell me anything?!
462
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:05,830
I'm sorry, mary.
463
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:07,164
Things have been
A little crazy,
464
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:09,500
And I haven't
Exactly been myself.
465
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,769
I hope you can
Forgive me.
466
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,472
Well, dick,
I--I don't think I can.
467
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:18,142
What do you say
You and I go down
To blascott's?
468
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:21,345
I'll tell you
The whole story over
A warm glass of brandy.
469
00:21:21,347 --> 00:21:22,847
Oh, that sounds nice.
470
00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:23,848
Great.
471
00:21:25,184 --> 00:21:26,950
Let me just change
Out of this diaper, huh?
472
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:40,263
Harry, I couldn't help
But notice the way
473
00:21:40,265 --> 00:21:42,733
That bearded lady
Was lookin' at you.
474
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:44,301
Tell me the truth.
475
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,670
Did anything happen
Between the two of you?
476
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:51,142
Vicki, a man gets awful
Lonely on the road.
477
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:53,277
And I can't say
That I wasn't tempted.
478
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:55,045
But every time
I came close,
479
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,614
There was just one thing
480
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,449
That I couldn't get
Out of my mind.
481
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,551
Oh, harry.
482
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:01,552
Me?
483
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:04,422
No. She had a beard.
35095
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
