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1
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:07,606
Wait. The police
Have their own
Car wash?
2
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:10,209
Oh, don,
I'd love to.
3
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:12,644
Oh, this could be fun
For tonight.
4
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,814
The rutherford museum
Is presenting their
titanic exhibit.
5
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:17,349
They're unveiling
A tank of water
6
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,150
From where
The doomed liner
Went down.
7
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,220
I'm on the phone.
8
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:22,387
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought that you--
9
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:23,822
No, it's nobody.
It's just dick.
10
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:26,091
What's
For lunch?
11
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,159
I didn't
Make anything.
12
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,027
All right,
I'm off to
The gyro stand.
13
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,929
Oh, harry,
14
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,598
Harry, it's gyros.
15
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,866
You know, if one
More person tells me
How to pronounce it,
16
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,169
I'm just gonna
Stop eating 'em.
17
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,336
Harry, stay here.
18
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,772
We can order pizza
And eat it all together.
19
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:41,906
See you guys later.
20
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:42,907
Wait. Where
Are you going?
21
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:43,975
The arcade.
22
00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,444
Oh, that sounds
Like fun. Let's all go.
23
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,079
Have fun.
I'm staying home.
24
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,815
That's it.
Family meeting!
Family meeting!
25
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,684
You're not family.
Get out!
26
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,320
What was that about?
27
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,955
Don't you see
What's happening here?
28
00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,957
We're not spending
Any time together.
29
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:02,127
What about last week
When we went to
The plumbing supply store?
30
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:03,595
That was an emergency.
31
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,965
Oh sure, throw that
Back in my face.
32
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:10,836
We're all going off
In different directions.
33
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:13,972
We're becoming
A fragmented crew
And a lousy family.
34
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,507
Yeah, but
That happened,
Like, months ago.
35
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,510
I thought we were
All ok with that.
36
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,744
You know,
I'm still the leader
37
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,381
Of this so-called family,
And what I say goes.
38
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,882
Fine. What do
You have to say?
39
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,051
We're spending
This weekend
Together as a family.
40
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,419
Great! I'll call don.
41
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,987
No, no, no, no!
That's the whole point!
42
00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:31,757
We're going out
And doing something
Together. Family only.
43
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:32,891
Well, like what?
44
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,893
Oh, I-I don't know.
45
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,561
Like these people.
46
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:38,630
Look how much fun
They're having.
47
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,400
What are they doing?
48
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,301
Um, eating cereal?
49
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,369
No, but what
Are they doing?
50
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,804
It's called
Camping, dick.
51
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:48,040
Camping! That's it.
We're doing camping!
52
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:49,441
Going camping.
53
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,742
We're going camping!
54
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,618
Bottle opener?
That'll be useful.
55
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,354
A saw? God knows--
56
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:38,790
God knows
We'll use that.
57
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:42,060
A scissors?
Get out of town!
58
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,795
Oh, that swiss army.
59
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:44,963
Yeah, when they get
In the game,
60
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:47,032
They are ready to play.
61
00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:49,968
Sweet lord! A toothpick!
62
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:52,404
Nina, have you got
Anything stuck
In your teeth
63
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,406
That I can assist
You with?
64
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,641
No, thanks. I'm good.
65
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,142
Oh. That's a shame.
66
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,177
Now, nina, if you need
To reach me for anything
67
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,879
This weekend,
I'll be unreachable.
68
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,748
I'm going camping
With my family.
69
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:03,915
Mm-hmm.
That's nice.
70
00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:05,117
Now, before you ask,
71
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:07,518
I'm going to have
To tell you--no.
72
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:09,922
No what?
73
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,790
No, you can't
Come along.
74
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,192
I hate camping.
75
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,626
I'm sorry, nina,
But I'm afraid
76
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,328
That's going
To have to be final.
77
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,397
You see, as head
Of my household,
78
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,532
I've made
An executive decision.
79
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,800
It's going to be
Just me and my family.
80
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,670
We're going camping
All weekend.
81
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:25,837
You're going camping?
82
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,605
Yes. Just me
And my family.
83
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:30,475
Ohh, I love camping.
84
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,311
My folks and I went
Every summer.
85
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,845
You did?
Oh, yeah.
86
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:36,447
Dad and I would wake up
Every morning early
87
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:37,882
To go blueberry picking.
88
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,184
And then mom would
Shake off her hangover
89
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:43,755
And throw
Some blueberries
In the pancakes
90
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,725
And some
In her bloody mary.
91
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,960
What happy,
Beautiful memories.
92
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:52,397
Oh, I'd love to go
Back up there sometime.
93
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,133
The fresh air,
The starry skies.
94
00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:56,635
A sleeping bag
For 2.
95
00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,671
A brisk dip
In a babbling brook.
96
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:00,938
Clothing optional.
97
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,743
And then, go hiking,
Collect some leaves.
98
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,113
Leaves clinging to our
Wet, gleaming buttocks.
99
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:10,949
Excuse me?
100
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,651
Oh, mary,
Come with us!
101
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,286
Oh, dick, I can't.
I've got--
102
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,955
Oh, please, please.
103
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,757
Really? Are you sure?
104
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,158
Of course I'm sure.
105
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,761
You know what?
106
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,563
Yes!
I'm gonna go for it.
107
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,465
I'm gonna go air out
My sleeping bag.
108
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,000
Yes! Yes!
109
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,569
Uh, dr. Solomon,
110
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,437
I really hate
To mention this,
But didn't you--
111
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,373
Nina, I'll say it
One last time.
You cannot come!
112
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,046
Dick, I gotta tell you,
113
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:44,516
I was kinda mad
With this whole
"Family only" thing,
114
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,351
But I'm starting
To have fun.
115
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:48,287
Oh, good. But, uh,
116
00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,289
You know, when
I say family only,
117
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:52,391
I'm speaking
In the larger sense
118
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,025
Of, uh,
The family of man,
119
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:56,895
Which could include,
Say, uh, mary,
120
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:58,463
If you think
About it.
121
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,532
What?
122
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,000
Morning, campers!
Hi, mary.
123
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,168
Here you go!
Oh, crap!
124
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,970
I'll go get
The rest of my stuff.
125
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,271
She's coming?
126
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:07,973
Well, you're the one
Who took her backpack.
127
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,207
Now we have
To bring her.
128
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,076
But you told me
I couldn't bring don.
129
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,910
I know what I said.
But if don were here,
130
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,011
It would be
A different story.
131
00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,180
You can't penalize mary
132
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,416
For don's lack
Of initiative.
133
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,583
I am out!
134
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:19,750
Me, too!
Screw this.
135
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:20,918
Sally, get in the back
And sit down!
136
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,853
That's an order!
137
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:28,660
Mary is coming with us,
And I will not tolerate
Any complaints.
138
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,162
Ok, I'm ready.
139
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,163
Where should I put this?
140
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,331
Oh, just throw it
In the back.
141
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,432
Ow!
142
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,569
Whoo!
143
00:05:43,943 --> 00:05:46,043
Ow! Oh!
144
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:49,481
Oh, dick!
It's beautiful
Up here.
145
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,648
Not now, mary.
146
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,618
I think
That pine cone bit me.
147
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:57,021
I cannot believe
People get out of
A comfortable bed
148
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,525
At the crack of dawn
To come out here
And sleep on dirt.
149
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,361
I think it hearkens back
To the early days
150
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,830
When people were,
You know, idiots.
151
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,067
Hey, what's that?
It's our tent.
152
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,202
We're not all
Gonna fit in there.
153
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:14,372
We have to
Set it up,
Goober!
154
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,377
Maybe I can be
Of some help.
155
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,512
Do you know where
Your guide pole is?
156
00:06:21,514 --> 00:06:23,581
Uh, yeah,
He's over there.
157
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:29,688
Trying to suck
The venom out of
His pine cone bite.
158
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,857
Let's see.
If each one of us
Takes a corner--
159
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,458
Uh, you know what,
Albright?
160
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:35,627
What?
161
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,562
I think we can manage.
162
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,365
Ok. Uh,
163
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:43,134
If you need me,
I'll be over here,
Setting up my tent.
164
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,372
Like she
Can help us.
165
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,240
Right.
166
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,583
Ok! Who wants to go
Say hello to some trees?
167
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,285
Oh, I will!
I love trees.
168
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:02,654
Uh, dick? Can I talk
To you for a sec?
169
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,855
What are you doing?
170
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,990
You drag us up here
In the middle of nowhere
171
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,926
And then you skip off
With your girlfriend
To talk to trees?
172
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,295
Yeah, we need
Some help here.
173
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:12,664
Well, so does mary.
I mean, look around.
174
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,867
She can't greet
All these trees
On her own.
175
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,569
Mary. Mary!
176
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,870
Mary: dick!
177
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,371
This is
Reprehensible
Behavior.
178
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,239
How the hell
Are we going to
Set this thing up?
179
00:07:22,241 --> 00:07:24,676
Ok. I think I saw
How she did it.
180
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,218
Man, we're gonna die.
181
00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:42,460
Hey, check it out.
Those 2 dragonflies
Are doin' it.
182
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,398
I wish I was
A dragonfly.
183
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,101
So you could
Be doin' it?
184
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:54,339
No. So I could fly
My ass outta here.
185
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,474
Ohh!
186
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,009
Did you see
That, gang?
187
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,311
Now,
That was a cast.
188
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,545
I'm really impressed.
Genius.
189
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,480
You know,
I'm just getting
A little bit fed up
190
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,982
With your negative
Attitude.
191
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,617
Well, I'm getting fed up
With the lack of lunch.
192
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,152
When are you gonna
Catch a fish?
193
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,386
I already did.
194
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,355
Uh, dick?
Albright's fish
Ate your fish.
195
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,625
It's the circle
Of life.
196
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,462
[gunshots]
197
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:24,936
Harry,
What was that?
198
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,875
I don't know.
199
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:33,345
I just bent over
To dig up some worms...
200
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:38,717
And these fat guys
In orange vests
Started shooting at me.
201
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,319
Oh, my god, harry.
You've gotta be
More careful.
202
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,587
They probably thought
You were a--
203
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,821
Here we go.
204
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:47,125
More woodsy wisdom
From albright
Of the jungle.
205
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,661
Harry, sit down.
206
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,529
Let's all sing
That nice song
207
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,565
About rowing your boat
Down the stream.
208
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,933
Tommy: aw, man.
I don't want to.
209
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,700
Just sing
The freakin' song,
All right?
210
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,839
♪ row, row, row your boat ♪
211
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,975
♪ gently down the stream ♪
Merrily...
212
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,910
Mary: ♪ row, row,
Row your boat ♪
213
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,778
♪ gently
Down the stream ♪
214
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:08,947
♪ merrily, merrily ♪
215
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:11,049
♪ merrily, merrily,
Life-- ♪
216
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,350
What are you doing?
217
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,451
Joining in.
218
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,887
Well, you're
A little late.
219
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,923
That how you sing it.
It's called a round.
220
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,024
Oh, please.
221
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,825
Sally, we're
Out in the woods.
222
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,294
This is supposed
To be fun.
223
00:09:22,296 --> 00:09:24,562
Fun? First you force us
To come up here,
224
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,531
And then she weasels
Her way in.
225
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,698
Weasel.
226
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,867
Dick invited me.
I didn't weasel.
227
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,036
Weasel.
228
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,337
Tommy:
Wait a minute.
You invited her?
229
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:33,571
You didn't
Tell them?
230
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,706
Hey, I think the bass
Are getting jumpy.
Lines in!
231
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,142
Oh, this is
Just great.
232
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,310
Hey, mary, wait!
233
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,378
Weasel.
Harry, enough
With the weasel.
234
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,480
No! Weasel!
235
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,257
That fish really
Looks delicious, mary.
236
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,062
Well,
Our dinner's
Almost ready.
237
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,497
Harry, I'm not
Eating that.
238
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:02,933
Oh, why, puddin'?
239
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:06,605
'cause it doesn't have
Butter or sour cream?
240
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:07,772
No.
241
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,906
'cause it's a rock.
242
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,644
Look at
How smug she is
243
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:17,615
With her homemade
Tartar sauce.
244
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,055
Mary...Uh...
245
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:26,925
Here.
Thank you.
246
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,026
You're welcome.
247
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,228
That was so big
Of you, mary.
248
00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:33,197
I could really go
For a nice end cut there
249
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,298
If you have some.
250
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,268
Say, guys.
251
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,738
How about throwing
A little of that bass
My way?
252
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,373
[sneering]
253
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,974
Hey, mary.
254
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,011
You know how we can
Smooth things over?
255
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:51,015
What say you and me
Go into your tent
And flatten some grass?
256
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:52,517
Go to hell.
257
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,753
Ha ha ha ha.
258
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,855
Say, guys.
259
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:59,223
Now that we've got
That monkey off
Our backs,
260
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:02,494
We can get down to
Some really serious
Family fun, huh?
261
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:06,564
Oh, I see how
It's going to be!
262
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,232
You don't need me?
Well, I don't need you.
263
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,735
You hear me?
I don't need you!
264
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:11,903
You hear me?
265
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:13,170
All: shut up!
266
00:11:13,172 --> 00:11:14,239
Fine.
267
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,507
Fine. As long
As you heard me.
268
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,715
Uhh! Aah!
269
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,217
Couldn't sleep a wink.
270
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,420
There was a big rock
Under my foot.
271
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,721
That's funny.
I couldn't sleep
272
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:32,823
'cause there was
A big foot on my head.
273
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,461
[gunshots]
274
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,631
Hey.
Hi.
275
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,500
How's the blueberry
Picking going?
276
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,302
Well, I didn't get
As many as I like
277
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:47,572
On account of those guys
Are still shooting at me.
278
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:49,340
Maybe you need a license
To pick blueberries.
279
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,274
That might be it.
280
00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:54,312
Good morning.
281
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,780
[all grunt]
282
00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,682
Nice day.
283
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,451
Wa-hoo.
284
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,653
Look. Obviously,
This isn't working,
285
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:04,122
So why don't you
Just go get dick
And we'll go home?
286
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,490
Fine. Go get him.
287
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,158
I don't have him.
I thought
He was with you.
288
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,760
He's not with us.
Where is he?
289
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,895
Hmm. Well, we got
Nothing to go on
290
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,529
Except for
Our best guesses
291
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:15,166
And this lengthy
Note from dick.
292
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:19,137
"Dear ungrateful family
293
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,574
"And sexy but
Vindictive lover.
294
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,109
"Since you have shunned me,
I have decided to leave.
295
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,478
You won't have dick solomon
To kick around anymore."
296
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,646
He just walked
Out on us?
297
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:29,814
Weasel!
Aah!
298
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,382
No.
299
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,184
It's just
An expression.
300
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,586
"Let's see how you do
Without my leadership.
301
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,421
"Of course, I won't
Be there to see it,
302
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,758
"But I am confident
You'll fail. Ha ha!
303
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,460
Good-bye forever, dick."
304
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,128
Ok, listen up, people.
305
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,830
What we got here
Is a missing camper.
306
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,898
We're gonna check
Every outhouse,
Doghouse, and henhouse
307
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,300
In a 5-mile radius.
308
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,869
What about
Just a house?
309
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,937
Shut up! Albright,
You guard the camp.
310
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:56,074
Oh, now, look,
I think I might be
Of some help here.
311
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,976
Look...
312
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,946
Maybe you can
Catch a bass
Or toss a tent,
313
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,548
But when it comes
To search and rescue,
314
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,383
I'm in charge
Of the troops.
315
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,618
Fine.
316
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,953
I just want
To point out
317
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:13,057
That your troops
Are standing
In poison sumac.
318
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:17,128
So? They're not
Eating it, are they?
319
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:30,875
Waking up alone
In the forest.
320
00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:33,711
My lungs full
Of fresh air,
321
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,913
My hair touched
With dew,
322
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,816
My body lashed
To the ground
With ropes,
323
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,917
My nose full of--
324
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,588
Wait, what was
That last one?
325
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,859
My body's lashed
To the ground
With ropes!
326
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,729
Hey!
327
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,998
[all shouting]
328
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,067
Somebody poke him!
329
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,902
No, no, no! Stop!
Who are you?
330
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,170
What are
You doing to me?
331
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,338
We're beaver scouts.
332
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,973
And we're
Poking you!
333
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,441
All: yeah!
No! No!
334
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,276
Where's
Your beaver
Supervisor?
335
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,443
Mr. Hagen?
336
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,980
He's sleeping off
A 12-pack in the canoe.
337
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,247
I am a high commander,
338
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:11,883
And I order you
To untie me!
339
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,218
You're
A high commander?
340
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,719
I'm the high commander!
341
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,521
High commander
Of what?
342
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,991
Well, I'm between gigs
At the moment.
343
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,559
But I promise you
That I am.
344
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,726
Prove it!
345
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,629
Yeah. Shoot down
A helicopter.
346
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,364
Untie me,
And I just might.
347
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,365
How?
348
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,632
I have
An acute knowledge
349
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:31,169
Of thermodynamics
And gyroscopic motion.
350
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:32,870
Yeah!
Cool!
351
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,672
Bitchin'!
Yes!
352
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,274
Get the arms first,
Will you?
353
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,642
Dick!
354
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,742
Dick!
355
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:40,944
Dick!
356
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,048
Hello.
357
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,884
Albright, what are
You doing here miles
From the campsite?
358
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,353
Yeah, with your tent
And our tent
And the lake--
359
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:52,657
And we just went in
A big-ass circle,
Didn't we?
360
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:53,658
Yup.
361
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,592
[gunshots]
362
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,971
My tree disguise
Sure ain't working.
363
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:10,241
I told you
You were going in
The wrong direction.
364
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,575
No, you didn't.
Yes, I did.
365
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,676
Then which way'd
He go?
366
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,846
All right,
His footprints
Went off that way,
367
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:18,216
And then
They veered up north
Towards the ridge.
368
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,684
Sally,
369
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,120
Would you like
To lead the way?
370
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,355
No. I think you should
Take the point.
371
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,859
Most of
The dangerous work
Is in the flank, so...
372
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,426
Let's go.
373
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,928
Hold on. Harry,
374
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,196
Take off your coat.
375
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:37,935
Harry,
376
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,370
Put your coat
Back on.
377
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,975
Scout masters,
Families,
378
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,142
Girlfriends!
379
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:46,310
All: eww!
380
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:47,812
Yeah,
It's all the same.
381
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,580
Just a bunch
Of whiny voices
382
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,182
Trying to tell you
What's right and wrong.
383
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,784
Blah, blah, blah!
384
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,018
All: blah, blah, blah!
385
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:55,152
Well, no more!
386
00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:57,321
Now, you listen
Only to me.
387
00:15:57,323 --> 00:16:01,392
The leaders you've had
Before were weak, gutless.
388
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,660
They had nothing
To teach you except
389
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:04,762
The same old
Blah, blah, blah!
390
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,431
All: blah, blah, blah!
391
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:08,232
Look around you, boys.
392
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:12,102
I declare this
Our new kingdom.
393
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,172
Here is where
We will make our stand.
394
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,041
Here, where we
Are truly free!
395
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:19,577
All:
Blah, blah, blah!
396
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,447
No, I was trying to make
A serious point there.
397
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,648
Oh. Sorry.
398
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,750
Yeah. We just
Got swept up.
399
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,456
Hey, you guys, wait up.
I got a blister.
400
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,157
Oh, here.
Let me take a look.
401
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,092
Why? You never seen
A blister before?
402
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,796
I have some aloe.
That should help.
403
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:42,133
No, I don't need any--
Oh, that's kinda good.
404
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,034
I played field hockey
In college,
405
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:47,138
And I used
To get a blister
In exactly the same spot.
406
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,240
This always
Made it feel better.
407
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,943
You're not gonna try
To kiss me, are you?
408
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:57,214
So, you really played
Field hockey?
409
00:16:57,216 --> 00:16:58,383
Yeah.
410
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,818
See this scar?
5 stitches.
411
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,287
Courtesy of
Laura parker,
Cheap shot.
412
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,589
Wow. What'd you do?
413
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,092
Dropped my stick
And opened her up
Like a melon.
414
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,227
You know what,
You're pretty tough
415
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,196
For a prissy
Little bookworm.
416
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,665
Thank you.
417
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,134
You should know, sally,
That the last thing
I wanted to do
418
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,337
Was intrude on
Your family weekend.
419
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:20,638
Oh, that's all right.
420
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,608
The last thing
I wanted to do was
Have a family weekend.
421
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:24,942
Want to keep looking
For dick?
422
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,378
If for no other reason
Than to kick his ass.
423
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,213
Hey, guys. Check out
These berries
424
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,715
We found
Down by the stream.
425
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,817
Oh, my god, tommy.
You didn't eat these,
Did you?
426
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,018
These are finch berries.
427
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,254
They make coffee beans
Look like sedatives.
428
00:17:36,256 --> 00:17:37,521
Let's go!
429
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:44,428
Dick!
Dick?
430
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:45,897
Hey, you guys,
431
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,331
Can you give harry
Another berry?
432
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:48,866
He's drooling
On my shoulder.
433
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,034
Oh, yeah.
434
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,569
Chasing that trout upstream
Really wiped him out.
435
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,943
Halt!
436
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:00,311
This is a secured area!
437
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,646
You are not authorized.
438
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:02,813
Oh, look at them.
439
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:05,049
Aren't they cute!
440
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,551
Oh, man!
441
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,486
You ever been
With an admiral?
442
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,153
Ehh, hey, hey. Uh,
443
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,589
Ease up there,
Little fella.
444
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,056
We're looking
For a tall,
445
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:15,058
Disoriented-looking
Middle-aged guy.
446
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,260
Have you seen him?
447
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,464
Are you talking
About the king
Of the revolution?
448
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,566
Oh, god, I hope not.
449
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,715
Next time,
450
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,484
Bring me creamy.
451
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,188
Would you like
The jelly?
452
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,191
What flavor is
The jelly?
453
00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:48,326
Grape.
454
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,927
The horror.
455
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:52,430
The horror.
456
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,065
Scout:
We got prisoners!
457
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,267
Bring them in!
458
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,336
Keep it movin'.
Move, move, move!
459
00:18:58,338 --> 00:18:59,603
Second scout:
Come on!
460
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:02,606
Tommy: uh, dick?
461
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,308
What the hell
Are you doing?
462
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,178
I'm creating
A new society.
463
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,879
Our society.
464
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,414
I call it...
465
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:13,284
Dicksylvania.
466
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,918
And you just crossed
The borders.
467
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,919
Yeah!
468
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,355
Go on, kids.
Tie 'em down
469
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,789
And poke 'em
With the sticks.
470
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:22,260
You touch me with that,
I make you look
Like a corn dog.
471
00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,327
Ok, men, regroup.
472
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,765
Seriously, dick
Let's get going, huh?
473
00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,166
Oh, no!
474
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,001
No, you shunned me!
475
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,204
No. These are
My people now.
476
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,506
We're staying in
These woods forever.
477
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,341
Forever?
Forever.
478
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,044
Yeah, but it's
Only half an hour till
Hamburger time back at camp.
479
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:42,079
No, no. We're gonna
Kill a boar, remember?
480
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,247
We can eat for a week!
481
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:46,651
We got school
On monday, ya moron!
482
00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,686
Hey, I thought
We agreed
483
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:51,222
That school was
For, you know, fools.
484
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,423
Fools?
485
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:55,326
You're the one
With peanut butter
On his face.
486
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,493
Let's go.
487
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:59,062
It was fun
Till he took
His pants off.
488
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,464
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
489
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,165
What about our--
The plans for--
490
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,668
The world we--
The cool fort?
491
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,970
Scouts:
Blah, blah, blah!
492
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,710
Well, this is probably
A long shot, but...
493
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:16,180
Did you bring
My bathrobe?
494
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,950
And maybe some
Handi wipes?
495
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:20,284
Let's get out
Of here.
496
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,987
Oh, wait a minute.
You haven't seen
Our cool latrine.
497
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:24,121
You--you--
498
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,156
Harry!
499
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,324
Ugh!
500
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,427
You got your trout
In my peanut butter.
501
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:32,329
Your peanut butter
Got on my trout.
502
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,502
Not bad.
Not bad.
503
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,142
All right, let me
Get this straight.
504
00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:46,744
You disobeyed
Your own orders,
505
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:50,180
Invited albright into
What you knew would be
A hostile environment,
506
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,348
Alienated everyone,
507
00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,117
And then you stomped off
Into the woods
508
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,285
Where you became
A jungle overlord.
509
00:20:57,055 --> 00:21:00,323
Well, it's a mistake
Every man makes
Sooner or later.
510
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:01,692
I learned my lesson.
511
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,859
Yeah, right.
But you have to admit
512
00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,962
I did orchestrate
A hugely successful
Weekend.
513
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:07,031
How do
You figure that?
514
00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:08,365
Well, through a series
515
00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,600
Of apparently
Lame-brained orders
516
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,070
And seemingly
Selfish strategies,
517
00:21:13,072 --> 00:21:14,638
I managed
To lead this family
518
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,240
To a new level
Of unity.
519
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:19,910
And that's the story
You're going with?
520
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,746
Unless you've got
Something better.
No.
521
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:23,347
Here you go.
522
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:24,749
Hey, what are these?
523
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,951
Boy, you really haven't
Camped, have you?
524
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:30,821
They're marshmallows
On a stick. You put 'em
In the fire.
525
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:31,922
All: oh!
526
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,861
[all talking at once]
527
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,796
Captioned by the national
Captioning institute
--www.Ncicap.Org--
528
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,539
What do you think?
529
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,975
I can't quite
Put my finger on it.
530
00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:55,045
It's like...
Peanut butter
531
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,948
But with a kind
Of fishy taste.
532
00:21:59,952 --> 00:22:01,385
It's trout butter.
533
00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:05,889
I don't like it.
534
00:22:07,593 --> 00:22:08,626
I love it.
39262
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