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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,674 Hey. Where are All the marshmallow Bits? 2 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,015 They just Poured out that way. 3 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:24,356 Hey, you guys. Look. Dubcek gave me A tomato plant. 4 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,358 I'm gonna feed it, And in a couple of weeks, 5 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,293 We'll have fresh, plump, Juicy tomatoes. 6 00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,796 Silly sally. You can Go down to the corner 7 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,298 And get fresh tomatoes From mr. Lee, 8 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,934 And you don't have To feed him nothin'. 9 00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,703 He hates it When you even try. 10 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,540 Dick: sally! Look at this! 11 00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,676 You shrunk My favorite pants! No, I didn't. 12 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:48,080 Then give me one Other logical explanation Why they don't fit anymore. 13 00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:49,581 I don't know. Maybe-- 14 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,583 Hush! Hush! [ice-cream truck Music playing] 15 00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,085 Listen! Mr. Frosty smooth! 16 00:00:53,087 --> 00:00:54,586 Oh, He's early today. 17 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:55,920 Mr. Frosty smooth! 18 00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:57,189 Mr. Frosty smooth! 19 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:39,898 Good morning, nina. 20 00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:42,934 [coolly] Mary. 21 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,237 [icily] Morning. 22 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,474 I, uh...Like your belt, Dr. Solomon. 23 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,677 This isn't a belt, Nina. It's a tie. 24 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,113 I think somebody's Getting a spare tire. 25 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:55,614 Forget it, mary. It's a little late 26 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,717 To try to buy My affection with gifts. 27 00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,686 I meant You've gained weight. 28 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,188 Why should I be concerned About gaining weight? 29 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:05,190 My body is just the vehicle 30 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,192 That carries my brain Around, 31 00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:10,462 And my brain deserves A smooth, luxurious ride. 32 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,265 Ok, dick. Get fat. I don't care. 33 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,533 Well, I don't care If you do care. 34 00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,835 As if I cared that you Didn't care that I cared. 35 00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,038 As if I cared that you Do care if I care or not. 36 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,141 I couldn't care less If you care that I care! 37 00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:28,346 Well, now, that Was uncalled for! 38 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,255 Peanut brittle? 39 00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,757 You know, dr. Solomon, 40 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:41,126 Sometimes when there are Changes in your life, 41 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:44,129 You use eating as a way Of filling that void. 42 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:47,065 Changes? Well, nothing Has changed in my life. 43 00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:48,800 Well, except for the fact 44 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:50,135 That mary and I Are no longer... 45 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:53,071 Romping lustfully In pastures of delight, 46 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,208 Our writhing bodies Eternally entwined, 47 00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,143 Glistening Like the morning dew. 48 00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:02,414 Bingo. 49 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,848 [mouth full] Oh, poppycock! 50 00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,584 You don't see Mary gaining weight, 51 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,087 And she's lost A lot more than I have! 52 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,655 She lost me! 53 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,394 Did you hear About that guy 54 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:19,331 Who cut off his finger In shop class and then Sewed it back on in home ec? 55 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,302 That's just An urban myth. 56 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,638 Oh, did you want To see thunder train? It's playing at 6:00. 57 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,673 I already saw it. When did you see it? 58 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,276 Just The other night. 59 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:32,443 You know... 60 00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:33,845 By myself. 61 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,714 You never go To the movies By yourself. 62 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,282 Well...Yeah, but... 63 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,184 Wendy really Wanted to see it. 64 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:41,353 Wait, wait. Wait. 65 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:45,122 You saw it alone With wendy? 66 00:03:45,124 --> 00:03:47,792 Well, I couldn't very well Have been alone 67 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,562 If I saw it With wendy... Now, could I? 68 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,601 Aah! 69 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:03,542 Why are you so jumpy? 70 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:08,713 Oh! I'm smack dab In the middle Of dying is deadly. 71 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,716 Number 14 In the anson nembrook Detective series. 72 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,552 Oh, it's a gripper. 73 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,520 I think august Is cheating on me. 74 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:18,423 Why? Did she take out A big insurance policy On you 75 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:22,594 And then have her lover Cut your brake lines? 76 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,263 I don't know What to do. 77 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,265 Well, don't ask me. 78 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:29,868 I'm 3 days away From retirement. 79 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,203 I gotta know. 80 00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,870 Ok! You talked me Into it. 81 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,740 I'll tail her For ya. 82 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,141 I could do that. 83 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,343 Oh, yeah, but She knows you. 84 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,178 She knows you, too. 85 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,914 Well, yeah, But not intimately. 86 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:43,948 Me, neither. 87 00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,885 Really? Well, then Why do you care? 88 00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:52,590 Ohh! 89 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,359 Well, that looks Pretty crappy. 90 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:57,895 I don't understand. I did everything I'm supposed to do. 91 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,230 It's just not working. 92 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,700 Martha stewart says It helps if you talk To your plants. 93 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,634 Oh, yeah? Mmm. 94 00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:07,172 Hi. 95 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,511 I'm sally. 96 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:15,580 Dick: sally! 97 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,083 [panting] 98 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,018 Sally, Do I look fat? 99 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,921 You want the truth? No. 100 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,489 You look great. You don't mean that. 101 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,091 Ok. 102 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,959 Well, thanks a lot! 103 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,194 Oh, dick, just be Thankful you're a man. 104 00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:32,998 You know, I mean, you guys Can get away with it. 105 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,233 You don't know what You're talking about. 106 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:37,635 Oh, don't I? You know, 107 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,437 The only time a woman Is allowed to get fat 108 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,439 Is when she's pregnant, But she can't Even enjoy it 109 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:46,044 Because she's barfing All the time and her boobs Are turning into a restaurant. 110 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,047 But men can balloon up To the size Of a volkswagen 111 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,816 And still get dates. 112 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,217 Well, that's great! 113 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,152 Oh, not you, dick. You're sloppy fat. 114 00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:59,524 Oh, all right, fine. So what if I have Put on a little weight? 115 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,393 Big deal. I can lose it. I'm the high commander Of this body. 116 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,228 I'll just order it To stop eating. 117 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,833 No, dick. It's An earth body, ok? It won't listen to you. 118 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,902 First thing we need Is a strategy. Look what I was reading earlier today. 119 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,171 "Farmer loses leg In wood chipper"? 120 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,242 Well, that's gotta be 10 pounds right there. 121 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,911 No. Not that. This. 122 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:23,848 "Suzanne somers reveals Her secret summer Slimming tips." 123 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,418 I want to know! 124 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:43,935 So, um... 125 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,937 How's your diet Going, dr. Solomon? 126 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:48,372 Oh, it's not Just a diet, nina. 127 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,341 It's a complete Lifestyle change. 128 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,744 Sally just signed me up For a step class. 129 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:54,779 I'm drinking 8 16-ounce glasses Of water a day, 130 00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,282 And I can eat all The grapefruit I like. 131 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,950 I suppose You have to diet 132 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,653 When you don't Have the willpower To simply eat right. 133 00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:05,657 Mmm. 134 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,899 You wouldn't believe How delicious This grapefruit is. 135 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:14,833 Mary: mmm. 136 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,176 Would either of you Like a taste? 137 00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:26,111 No, thanks. That's All right. 138 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,545 Can I taste yours? 139 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:31,082 You know, dick, If you're too weak 140 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,252 To be in the same room With pizza, nina and I Can go in her office. 141 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,520 Oh, no, no, no. That--that's Not necessary. 142 00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,792 I'll give you A whole grapefruit For just one pepperoni! 143 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,727 Let's go. 144 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,096 No! Uh...Uh... How about 2? 2 grapefruits! 145 00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,966 2 delicious grapefruits! 146 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,868 And my watch! 147 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,873 Hey, you thirsty? 148 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,374 Oh, I know you. 149 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,810 You wouldn't say Anything if you were. 150 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,914 That's what I like About you, you know. 151 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,251 You're not rude Or demanding like Most people I know. 152 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:09,154 You must be bored Out of your mind. 153 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,355 No. Not at all. 154 00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:12,290 I was talking To the plant. 155 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:20,565 Well, tommy, I've got The evidence right here. 156 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,566 Whup! 157 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,568 But I have To warn you, kid. 158 00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:26,237 You might not Like what you see. 159 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,242 [gasps] 160 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:35,580 Harry... All these pictures Are overexposed! 161 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:38,083 Well, I told you You wouldn't like it. 162 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,185 What was she doing? 163 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,589 "3:35. 164 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,924 "Spot august Talking to friends. 165 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,594 "3:42. August Gets on bicycle. 166 00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:51,095 "Pursue on foot. 167 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,964 3:46. Trip Over garbage can." 168 00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,535 "3:46. Follow august To the library, 169 00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,204 "Where she studies alone Until it closes... 170 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,540 "At 3:46. 171 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,208 "I then Follow her home, 172 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,378 "Where she arrives At exactly... 173 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,746 3:46." 174 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,082 Harry, What time is it? 175 00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,151 3:46. 176 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,354 Where does the day go? 177 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,659 Woman: and up! And step! 178 00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,727 And up! And step! 179 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,829 And up! And step! 180 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,734 Eye of the tiger, dick! 181 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,737 If I can do it, You can do it! 182 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,905 Woman: And step! And up! 183 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,242 And step! And down! 184 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:40,378 Up and step And up and step! 185 00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,646 [plop] 186 00:09:46,453 --> 00:09:48,119 That's as far As it'll go. 187 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,787 Oh, fiddle-dee-dee. 188 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:53,124 I've gotta get back Down to a 32 waist. 189 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:56,561 Ok! On the count Of 3, deep breath. 190 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,463 1, 2, 3. 191 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,767 What are you doing? 192 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,704 I'm becoming thin Again. Sally! 193 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,272 I thought you were Gonna exercise. 194 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,107 Sally! Help harry! What?! 195 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,542 What is that? 196 00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:11,743 It's called "The shatner." 197 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,212 Now, now, Go on, pull. 198 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,847 Tommy! Tommy! Pull. Pull. 199 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:20,785 1, 2, 3, go! All right. Got it. 200 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,620 Thank you, Lieutenant. 201 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,955 Oh--what--no. Dick. Dick. 202 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:25,890 Dick! 203 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,002 Dr. Solomon! You look great! 204 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,004 Thank you, nina. 205 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,171 I feel great. 206 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,227 You dropped Your calculator. 207 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:03,995 No. That's Where I keep it. 208 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:08,132 3 times 4 equals... 209 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,770 12. Just as I thought. 210 00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,505 Here. Let me Get that for you. 211 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,245 Thank you. 212 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,581 [rip] 213 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,619 What was that? 214 00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:28,987 Mary: dick? 215 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,088 Excuse me. 216 00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,660 Are you all right? 217 00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,162 All right? 218 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:39,730 I couldn't Be better. 219 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,004 [hissing] 220 00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:56,781 Harry: ooh! Oh! 221 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:03,955 Harry? 222 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,556 I'm not harry. 223 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:09,961 Um...What are you Doing with the camera? 224 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:10,895 What camera? 225 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:18,069 Put down the ribs And step away From the platter. 226 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,973 No. 227 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,975 Ok, then. But Make no mistake-- 228 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,710 If you take one bite Out of that, 229 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:28,145 You're gonna Hate yourself more Than you already do. 230 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,481 Are you prepared to face Those consequences, Soldier?! 231 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,284 Urrhh! 232 00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:36,788 You're pathetic. 233 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,390 Oh, I know! You know, Nina was right. 234 00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:41,825 I do have A gaping hole Inside of me, 235 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,827 But it's not my fault! It's this body! 236 00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,897 It has a stupid Design flaw. 237 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,167 It thinks it can fill An emotional void With food! 238 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,335 God. Come on, jeremy. 239 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,004 You named it Jeremy? 240 00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,507 I was gonna call Him lycopersicon esculentum, 241 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,909 But it sounded Kinda snotty. 242 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,410 Come on, Harry. 243 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:00,845 I see. 244 00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,847 So suddenly It's a crime For a grown man 245 00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,515 To hang around The high school 246 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,217 Taking pictures Of the young girls. 247 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:09,587 Whatcha eatin' there, Dick? 248 00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:10,955 Ribs. 249 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:11,956 Fat-free ribs? 250 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,457 Oh, shut up! 251 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,193 My diet is dead. 252 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,961 Oh. Diet, huh? Must be rough. 253 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:21,065 Lucky for me, I was blessed with A high metabolism. 254 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,169 Thanks for the ride, Don. 255 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,670 Hold it there, Harry. 256 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:27,672 I can only release you Into the custody Of a family member. 257 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,006 Well, I'm right here. 258 00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:30,575 Not you. Where's sally? 259 00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,910 She's in the other room. 260 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,311 Is she alone? 261 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,612 Well, she's with jeremy. 262 00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,914 Jeremy. 263 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,882 Well, it's like She's obsessed. 264 00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,655 You got any more Hot sauce? 265 00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,426 Can I have a rib? 266 00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,361 No! No! 267 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,350 Dr. Solomon-- 268 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,852 Not now. I'm working. 269 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,353 Oh, my god! 270 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,355 What is All this stuff? 271 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,757 It's not mine! Oh! 272 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,325 It's those Damned raccoons! 273 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,728 They have little hands, You know. 274 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,062 You're really Worrying me. 275 00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:27,498 Oh, I don't know What you're talking about. 276 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,134 Look at yourself. 277 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,536 No! Look at yourself. 278 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:36,306 Who am I kidding? 279 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,977 I'm huge! 280 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,644 Oh, nina! 281 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,080 I'm doomed-- 282 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,083 Doomed to a life Of forlorn pudgery. 283 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:48,552 I'm gonna be referred To as "Husky" and "Jolly." 284 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,788 People will nickname me "Tiny," and they'll laugh 285 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,290 And throw rotten fruit At my rear 286 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,924 As I pass them In the streets! 287 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,660 Nobody does that. 288 00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,427 Well, I do. 289 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,530 Oh, nina, I need help! 290 00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:03,534 Good. Dr, solomon, Admitting you need help Is half the battle. 291 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,369 The other half Wouldn't happen to be 292 00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:07,105 A cherry cheesecake, Would it? 293 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,607 You know Where you stand. 294 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,142 Huh. Well, It should be. 295 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,280 Tommy! This time I've got good news. 296 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,281 What is it? 297 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,016 August is Cheating on you. 298 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:23,454 Darrin laskey. 299 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,455 Yeah. 300 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,457 Harry, how is this Good news? 301 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,961 Oh, well, Look how happy he is. 302 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,462 What's that, dick? 303 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:34,465 Nina says I need More structure And support, 304 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:38,135 So I--I joined A weight-loss Program-- 305 00:15:38,137 --> 00:15:39,303 Fat-losers. 306 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,874 "The fat-losers 7-day diet plan." 307 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,376 Well, now We're talking! 308 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,278 But it looks so hard! 309 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,579 Oh, quit Being a baby. 310 00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,282 This is exactly What you need, dick, Some discipline. 311 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:55,753 Ok. Let's-- Let's, uh, start With the bread group. 312 00:15:55,755 --> 00:16:00,625 Ok. Ha. You can have Half a reduced-calorie Bagel, 313 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:04,595 Or you can exchange it For 6 saltines And a tortilla! 314 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,331 Ah. Tonight You will be having 315 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,100 The lo-cal Symphony salad. 316 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:12,569 All right. Here, Give me your tomato. 317 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,974 What, my--my tomato? 318 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,943 Um...Uh, maybe We're rushing things Here, dick. 319 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:22,780 I mean, Look, we're racing Through a whole world 320 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,282 Of cottage cheese Options. 321 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,751 No. I've made my decision. Now give me your tomato! 322 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,886 No! Don't make me Do this, dick! I'll take that one. 323 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:32,457 Jeremy?! Yes, and those 2 little cowards Hiding behind him. 324 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,258 Aaahhh! 325 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:40,398 Hi. A new face. Have you weighed in yet? 326 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,900 Uh, yes. That Fat-loser over there Helped me. 327 00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:48,406 That's lilly. She's been a fat-loser For over 9 years. 328 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,375 Well, I see you Have your water bottle And your menu planner. 329 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,710 Here's a food scale. 330 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,747 Oh. It's official. I'm a fat-loser. 331 00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:56,814 Congratulations. 332 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,250 Ok, could everybody Please take a seat? 333 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:02,754 I've got a lot Of good news here Today, people. 334 00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:05,422 Joe mcbride, 2 pounds! 335 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:08,393 And he spent The weekend In new orleans! 336 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,095 God, I love That crawfish. 337 00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,598 Stephanie hayes, 4 whole pounds. 338 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,734 Yeah, you heard me. 4 pounds. 339 00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,937 Now, here's Someone who is finally Holding her ground. 340 00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:23,340 No loss, but no gain-- Mary albright. 341 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,380 Mary? 342 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:31,716 Dick! 343 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,418 Why didn't you tell me You'd been coming here? 344 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,552 It's none Of your business. 345 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,786 But it's your business 346 00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,788 To stand by and Watch me suffer alone 347 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:42,126 While you secretly find Help in the pillowy bosom Of this support group! 348 00:17:42,128 --> 00:17:44,728 Let's hear from Our newest fat-loser. 349 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:49,400 Hello. My name is dick, And I'm a fat-loser. 350 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,435 Sit down! 351 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,437 No. I have A lot to say. 352 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:55,740 But I don't want To bore you all With why I'm here. 353 00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,342 I want to tell you Why mary albright Is here. 354 00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,343 Dick! 355 00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:00,945 You see, We were lovers once, 356 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,748 But that's All over now. 357 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:07,185 And she pretends That she's ok with it, But she's not. 358 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,920 And so she's been Trying to replace me With other men. 359 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,355 Men like oscar meyer... 360 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,292 Ben & jerry... 361 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,727 And the pillsbury Doughboy! 362 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,028 Dick, please. 363 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,198 August. 364 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,502 Are you Cheating on me? What? 365 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,971 Harry saw You kissing Darrin laskey. 366 00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,474 Darrin laskey. He's in my drama class. 367 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,642 We were doing A scene together. 368 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,943 A scene? 369 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,946 Oh. Oh, my god. I must look Like such an idiot. 370 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:40,284 You were doing a scene? What a fool I am. That harry, he's-- 371 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,551 Hey, august. 372 00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:44,554 And kevin douglas. You must be In drama class, too. 373 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:47,057 So you're quite A little actress There, august. 374 00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:49,059 So you two are just Rehearsing away. 375 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,394 It's Very convincing. 376 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663 I'd--I'd pay to see Something like this. 377 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:57,234 So, now, tell me, Kevin, so you're, Uh...You're, uh... 378 00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:02,039 You're...Kissing... Your new girlfriend, Aren't you? 379 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,908 Can you give me A minute? 380 00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:04,842 Right. 381 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,681 August, how could you Do this to me? 382 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:14,351 Me do this to you? What kind of a boyfriend Are you? 383 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,487 You--you lust After our music teacher. 384 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,389 You flirt with That sleazy lorna. 385 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:21,759 Ok, but in all fairness, They both totally Blew me off. 386 00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:30,801 Mary. 387 00:19:32,272 --> 00:19:33,838 Don't talk to me. 388 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,109 You lost the right To embarrass me in public When we stopped dating. 389 00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,077 I forgive you, mary. 390 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,579 You're forgiving me? 391 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,647 For what? 392 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,314 For how You deceived me... 393 00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:47,384 How you led me to believe You were unaffected By our breakup, 394 00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,955 When in fact, you were A hungry, frightened Little ballerina 395 00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:54,325 Careening out of control At 80 miles an hour. 396 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,992 For your information, 397 00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:59,197 My eating had nothing To do with you. 398 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,499 That's what you'd like Me to think, isn't it? 399 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,968 I don't care What you think. You do, too. 400 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,469 I do not. Do, too. 401 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:06,537 Do not. Too! Not! 402 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:07,971 Why don't you just admit 403 00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,040 That you've been eating Because you missed me? 404 00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,241 Why don't you just admit 405 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,509 That you've been eating Because you missed me?! 406 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,610 Because I don't miss you! 407 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:15,913 Well, I don't Miss you, either! 408 00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,248 Are you as hungry As I am? 409 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,249 More. 410 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,182 Oh! 411 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,498 Hello, sally. 412 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,599 Hello, don. 413 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:41,172 How are things going With...Jeremy? 414 00:20:41,174 --> 00:20:42,540 Jeremy's dead! 415 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:44,775 That's terrible! 416 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,277 I'm so sorry. 417 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,210 Oh! 418 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:56,787 My pants fit! I won the war! 419 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,388 That's great, Dick. 420 00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,259 You lost weight? 421 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,193 Even better. I bought bigger pants. 422 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,064 Good thinking, Tiny. 423 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,467 Why are you Eating Like that? 424 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,436 [mumbling] 425 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:15,273 I'm sorry To hear it. 426 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,775 Well, dick, Your salad's ready. I hope you like it. 427 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,678 Salad? Little guys never Knew what hit 'em. 428 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,947 Who wants salad? I want some real food! 429 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,549 I cannot believe How insensitive 430 00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,051 You ar-- Shh! Listen! 431 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,718 [ice-cream truck Music playing] 432 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,887 Mr. Frosty smooth! Mr. Frosty smooth! 433 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:32,322 He's right on time! 434 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,960 3:46 on the dot. 435 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:41,031 Captioned by the national Captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org-- 436 00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,901 Harry: it was The end of a long day, 437 00:21:44,903 --> 00:21:47,904 And all I wanted to do Was sit back, have a drink, 438 00:21:47,906 --> 00:21:49,840 And think About love's fury. 439 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:55,412 I knew the dame Was trouble the minute She walked in the door. 440 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:58,015 Did you drink All the milk again, You idiot?! 441 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,449 Go back to bed! 442 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:03,154 My gut told me Things were about To go from bad to worse. 443 00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:09,893 I hate it when I'm right. 33442

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