Original subtitles

(Supercar whirring)

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

~ With beauty and grace I

f As swift as can be f

£ Watch it flying through the air S

¢ It travels in space f

J Or under the sea I

f And it can journey anywhere J

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

~ It travels on land f

~ Or roams the skies

~ Through the heavens' stormy rage I

f It's Mercury-manned J

¢ And everyone cries S

f It's the marvel of the age I

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

(Supercar booming)

(clock chimes ringing)

(bagpipe music)

(windows rattling)

- What's that noise?

Surely, it can't be.

It can't be the Phantom Piper of lverlachain.

(windows banging)

Oh, thank goodness.

What's happening to you, Felicity?

You're getting as jumpy as the rest.

It's only the wind.

(windows banging)

(bagpipe music)

(dramatic music)

(whimsical music)

- Curious.

Most curious.

The rubbish people do write.

What can this man possibly know about neurotic anxieties

in the New England squirrel?

(phone ringing)

A phone call?

At half past midnight?

(bagpipe music)

Black Rock one.

Hello?

Who is that speaking?

- Your cousin Felicity, of course.

Do try and be a bit more alert.

- Felicity.

Well, well.

I'm sorry, there seems to be something wrong with the line.

| hear a most peculiar wailing noise.

- That, my dear Horatio, is your great uncle.

- Curious.

He sounds in great pain.

- Of course he isn't, he's playing the bagpipes.

(bagpipe music)

Oh, do stop it, Uncle Angus.

| can't hear.

Now, | want you and your American friends

to get cracking and come over at once.

- Come over?

Where?

- Scotland?

But, Dr. Beaker, that's over 7,000 miles at the very least.

- True, but what is that to Supercar?

A mere seven hours flying time.

- Anyway, what's up with this phantom piper

that we have to go dashing off in the middle of the night

to see him?

- Ah, precisely my point.

If we don't, we won't.

See him, that is.

We have to get over in time for their nightfall,

when this ghost appears to walk the battlements.

- 7,000 miles on a wild ghost chase, | ask you.

- lam asking you, Mike.

You see, the appearance of the Phantom Piper of Iverlachain

is considered to be an ill omen heralding disaster.

And | fear Cousin Felicity may be in acute danger.

(dramatic music)

- If there is any danger involved,

Cousin Horatio and his friends will reveal it.

- | would reveal it myself

if it wasn't for this confounded gout.

- Nonsense.

That gout of yours has just been giving you nightmares.

- Nightmares is it?

Aye, and far worse than nightmares to come.

For the Phantom Piper of Ilverlachain has not been heard

since they came for the McCrail

and his gold over 200 years ago.

- They?

Who are they?

- The Black McBlains.

Marauding clansmen who plundered our castle in 1750

while their piper played on the battlements.

- Superstitious fiddle-faddle.

Cousin Horatio will put a stop to it.

- All ready this end.

Cutting external control master switch.

Over to manual now.

- Manual control check.

- Roof open.

Yes, | think that's all.

(soft music)

Well, Jimmy, ready for a ghost hunt?

- | guess so, Professor,

but | don't know what Mitch will make of it all.

(Mitch whooping)

- All okay back there?

- Just about.

Mitch is tucked up in the trunk.

- Charging port, then.

(Supercar whirring)

7,000.

9,000.

11,000.

Have you worked out what time we'll get there, Doc?

- Indeed, yes.

- 15,000.

- | don't know, my dear fellow.

About 1700.

- What?

- Why, yes, 1700 hours.

You see, 2:00 a.m. here

means 10:00 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time.

Add to that about seven hours flying time.

Yes.

We should be at Iverlachain in time

for one of Felicity's high teas.

- Oh, swell.

Charging starboard.

Eight.

Nine, five.

11.

13.

14.

15.

Boost fully charged.

No interlock on manual, so fire one.

(thruster booming)

Fire two.

(thruster booming)

Full boost vertical.

Destination, lverlachain, Scotland.

(Supercar whirring)

(soft music)

(ominous music)

(Supercar whirring)

Look, Doc, let's be scientific about this.

Ghosts don't exist.

And if anybody's seen this piper, then, he's no phantom.

He's real, and | mean solid.

- Oh, how can you say that without evidence?

- Okay, then, we get ourselves some evidence.

- That, | imagine, is easier said than done.

- Well, we've got Clearview.

If your phantom shows up on television, then he's solid.

If he doesn't, and if you can still say you see him,

I'll admit he's a ghost.

Fair enough, Professor?

(passengers snoring)

- Hm, it would appear our fellow passengers

are catching up on their beauty sleep.

- Can't say | blame 'em, with a 2:00 a.m. start.

(Supercar whirring)

(ominous music)

- Buck up, Uncle Angus.

In a few hours, Horatio and his friends will be here.

Sound, sensible chaps, the lot of them.

They'll dig up the right answer.

- But suppose.

Suppose they dig up more.

Suppose they unearth the unearthly.

- Unearthly fiddle-faddle.

- Ah, that's just your opinion.

Well, I'll be glad to see them.

But I'll not accept their science.

(Supercar whirring)

- Sure enough, and making a commotion.

(Supercar whirring)

(clock ticking)

- Nearly five o'clock.

Ah, time for tea.

- I'll take a dram in mine.

It's such watery stuff without.

- Adram in tea.

A dram in coffee.

A dram after meals.

And you wonder why you've got gout.

- Your friends are arriving, to my mind.

- Jolly hockey sticks.

I'll go and butter some crumpets.

| imagine they'll be starving.

(birds chirping)

- Well, the book said the Phantom Piper

walks the southern battlements.

And those we can see quite plainly from here.

Do you have them in your sights, Mike?

- Yes.

Yes, we got a commanding view of what we've come to see.

Should be fine.

- But why land here, Mike?

Why not go closer in?

We're still a good walk from the castle.

- Well, at least that'll stop someone else

from taking a walk out here.

The way | see it, this phantom piper is a fake.

And if I'm right, | don't want the faker to know

we're onto him.

- Then, you think he might be up to something.

- Well, he might.

And just what, we'll find out.

Only, let's do a camouflage job on Supercar first.

Cover her up with heather and brushwood.

- Come on, Mitch.

We'll cover up Supercar so good that no one will see it.

(Mitch whooping)

- I'll confess, I'm a bit curious

to see this Supercar of yours, Professor.

- Ah, 'tis not worth the trouble.

‘Tis a flashy piece of machinery

like nothing you've ever seen before

nor would want to see again.

- When | want your opinion, Cambell, I'll ask for it.

All the same, Professor,

| hope your machine is weather-proof,

or your friends on the knoll out there

will be getting cold.

- 11:30 and we've been out here over three hours.

I'll bet they had a good dinner at the castle.

- But you said yourself,

Mike, that we must be in our positions early

so as not to risk being seen.

After all, it's not as bad as deer-stalking.

We are reasonably warm and dry.

- How's the view?

- Oh, still clear.

| wish one of those famous Scottish mists would come down.

- Oh, | see.

It wouldn't bother Clearview and nobody'd see us.

Well, no such luck, I'm afraid, Doc.

- It's nearly time for something to happen.

- I'll bet you, ghost or human,

he's punctual to the minute of midnight.

(clock bells chiming)

- Ah, he'll not be long now.

Tell me, Professor, are you familiar with the pipes at all?

- I'm ashamed to say, sir-

- Don't encourage him, Professor.

Uncle Angus is always ready to pipe at the drop of a hat.

- Oh, please, let's hear some.

| love that squeaking sound they make at the end,

when they're kind of running out of gas.

- Well, really now, Jimmy-

- Ah, he's right, you know, Professor.

And I'm glad to think such a young man has observed it.

Well now, | think | might sit a wee skull, since I'm asked.

- Well, | warned you.

Usually, I'm in bed asleep now.

But no one can possibly sleep through this.

(bagpipe music)

(Mitch whooping)

(bagpipe music)

- Hey, everybody, look at Mitch.

(bagpipe music)

- Quite a possible highland fling.

(Mitch whooping)

- No, wait a minute, he's worried about something.

(Mitch whooping)

- Professor, listen.

(bagpipe music)

| thought | heard...

Uncle Angus, stop a minute.

Uncle Angus.

(clock bells chiming)

(bagpipe music)

It can't be.

- The Phantom Piper.

(dramatic music)

(bagpipe music)

- | hear something.

- Could it be the laird?

What's the time?

- Midnight precisely.

- Then let's take a look.

(machine beeping) (bagpipe music)

- Yes, | can see him.

There's no doubt.

(bagpipe music) (machine beeping)

Switch to a longer focused lens.

(bagpipe music) (machine beeping)

My dear fellow, you are quite right.

Unless, of course, ghosts do appear on television.

Now, let me see.

- Never mind that now, Doc, I'm betting he's real.

And the point is why the performance?

For whose benefit?

What do you think, Professor?

- Well, | really don't know, Mike.

- Ah, it's not for mine.

I'm the better piper.

Though, I'll admit, he's a good man with the pipes at that.

- A good man, yes, not a ghost.

And probably up to no good either.

Do you have anything valuable in the castle, sir?

- You think it's all a plan to steal something, Mike?

(Mitch whooping)

- | don't know.

I'm just thinking out loud, that's all.

- It would rather be an elaborate way

of going about things, would it not?

- Ah, it's a pretty theory, Mr. Mercury.

I'll allow you that.

But I'm afraid it will not hold water.

| keep nothing of value here.

- Well, that's out, then.

- Unless you consider the great cairngorm

of McCrail valuable, which it is not.

- The great cairngorm of McCrail?

What is that, sir?

- What, that thing down in the cellars?

It's not worth a candle.

- What's a cairngorm, Dr. Beaker?

- Quite a pretty stone, but of absolutely no value,

as the laird said.

Am | right, sir?

- Precisely right.

But come and see for yourself.

I'd have Cambell bring it up, but there's a good reason

why it cannot be moved.

Ah.

There you are, gentlemen.

The great cairngorm of McCrail.

(Angus chuckling)

Value about 15 pounds sterling.

Shall we say, Mr. Mercury, $40?

Am | right, Cambell?

- Aye, McCrail, you might say that.

Though, many is the McBlain would've given

their own life for it for by bother it was lancing.

- Pardon me?

| didn't get the drift of that.

- Our friend appears to refer to the clan wars of long ago.

Did the cairngorm play a part in these feuds?

- It did that.

You might say it was a kind of token.

So, my ancestors had it set in the wall here

and set these bars to guard it.

- Well, they won't guard it much longer.

Hey, look, Jimmy, they've been filed.

(dramatic music)

Now, how long would you say it would take a man

to file through a bar like that?

- Ah, | don't know.

My ancestors knew what they were doing,

and the bars are good and thick.

To cut them through might take several days.

- Or nights.

(dramatic music)

(orchestral music)

(clock ticking)

It's about time for the doc

and | to keep watch in Supercar again.

You know what to do.

- Indeed yes, Mr. Mercury.

You may leave it to us.

- We wait until he starts playing again, right?

Then, down to the cellars at a cracking pace

and find whoever's filing those bars.

- | must say, it's ingenious.

Nobody could hear the bars being filed

above the sound of the Phantom Piper.

- And none of the servants would dare stir their stumps.

They're a superstitious lot.

- Okay, then.

We'll take charge of our end, and I'll guarantee

that the Phantom Piper gets scared out of his ghostly wits

when he sees us coming for him.

- Aye.

And the same goes for our laddie below.

I'd like a word or two with him myself.

(wind howling)

- Well, Doc, another long wait,

but it doesn't have to be a cold one.

- That is quite a strong and chilly wind outside, | admit.

- So much the better.

We've gotta start Supercar's engines,

and we don't want any ghosts listening to us do it.

Charging port.

(Supercar whirring)

5,000.

8,000.

10,000.

15,000.

Now charging starboard.

9,000.

11,000.

13,000.

Both engines at 15, steady.

Now, let's try and fire them without making too much noise

and without setting the moor on fire.

- A small danger of that, | feel.

The heather is positively dripping with moisture.

- Okay, then.

Fire one.

(thrusters booming)

(Supercar whirring)

Fire two.

(thrusters booming)

There, that does it.

Now, all we have to do is wait.

- Ah, it's a long wait.

But it will be worth it to catch the scoundrel red-handed.

Hey, Felicity?

- Are you sure you ought to be standing

on that foot, Uncle Angus?

- Yes, please, do sit down and be comfortable.

- Ah, do not worry about me, Professor.

| wouldn't happen to miss our laddie's face

down there for worlds.

And I'll not risk being caught in my chair

when yon piper starts his row tonight.

Ah, a terrible row it is too.

If | could not pipe better than that, I'd be a ghost myself.

- But | thought you said last night he played quite well.

(Mitch whooping)

- Aye, maybe so.

But then, | thought he was a ghost.

Now, | know he's a man.

And no man pipes does stand comparison

with the McCrail of McCrail.

(Angus laughing)

(machine beeping)

- It is nearly time, is it not?

- Pretty near.

Better prepare for takeoff.

Clearview's on okay?

- [Horatio] Yes.

- Five minutes to zero.

(clock ticking) (ominous music)

- | hope our laddie's on time tonight.

- Well, he has to be to cover

for his confederate in the cellars.

(ominous music)

(clock ticking)

- One minute to zero.

Select vertical takeoff.

Stand by.

(clock ticking)

- Come on, laddie.

Pipe away.

(clock bells chiming)

(bagpipe music)

- That's the piper.

- | can hear for myself, man.

You do not have to announce him.

(bagpipe music)

- Do you hear it, Dr. Beaker?

- | hear.

Yes.

And | see too.

(machine beeping) (bagpipe music)

- There he is.

Right, full boost.

Let's go scare the pants off him.

- No.

Brakes.

Please.

(Supercar whirring)

(bagpipe music)

(Supercar whirring)

- In about five seconds,

he's going to be the scaredest phantom you ever saw.

(Supercar whirring)

(bagpipe music)

(Supercar whirring)

(recorder whirring)

(Supercar whirring)

(file scratching)

(door creaking)

- [Angus] This way.

- Blimey, gov.

They got us.

- Well, if it isn't our old friend Mr. Harper.

- Just one moment, Mike, my dear fellow.

Why do we still hear piping?

(bagpipe music)

- Oh no.

Wait till the laird sees this.

He'll wrap your pipes around your neck, you faker.

- Then, who are we to take it is assisting you below stairs?

- Well, blimey, governor.

Don't ask me why we're on this caper.

I've been four days hacking through them bars

with this boy scout knife.

And still, | ain't got more than halfway through.

Gah, and what for?

- Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Judd.

For a stone worth about 15 pounds.

- Gah.

15 quid.

| always reckoned that bloke was a nutcase.

- Correction, if you will excuse me.

The great cairngorm of McCrail

is in fact worth half a million dollars.

- You're joking, man.

- No.

It's not a cairngorm at all.

It's a topaz.

I've examined it.

And, so | think, has Mr. Harper here.

- A topaz?

That size?

Blimey.

You could use it for a paving stone.

- Now, that is interesting.

That is how legends are built up.

- Yeah, but that's not the most interesting thing, sir.

- Ah, indeed not, Mike Mercury.

You are quite right.

The really interesting thing is how does a man like you,

Mr. Harper, an Englishman if ever | saw one,

come to play the pipes?

Badly, | admit, but play.

- I'll show you.

This is how.

(bagpipe music) - Ah.

A tape recorder.

Oh, you're a clever man, Mr. Harper.

A clever man.

But any Scotsman will tell you that the recording you have

isn't the real McCoy.

Man, it's terrible.

- Well, as a matter of fact, Mr. Harper does seem

to have captured the genuine article.

- What?

- Yes, he hid the recorder in here

and made a few tapes of yourself, sir.

Playing.

- What?

What's that you say?

Of me?

- Yes.

Of you.

(Horatio laughing)

(Angus laughing)

(all laughing) (bagpipe music)

(Supercar whirring)

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

~ With beauty and grace I

f As swift as can be f

£ Watch it flying through the air S

¢ It travels in space f

J Or under the sea I

f And it can journey anywhere J

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

~ It travels on land f

~ Or roams the skies

~ Through the heavens' stormy rage I

f It's Mercury-manned J

¢ And everyone cries S

f It's the marvel of the age I

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

¢ Supercar f

(Supercar booming)