All language subtitles for The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec [2010]

The Extraordinary Adventures
of Adéle Blanc-Sec

Ferdinand Choupard
is a minor character in our story.

Nonetheless,
he is where this adventure begins,

as he wandered home
after an evening spent playing cards

and sipping a marvelous
12-year-old malt whisky.

It was November 4th, 1911,

at one o'clock in the morning.

The streets were empty
with a chilly nip in the air.

Yet, at the same time,
exactly 953 meters from there,

the city was jumping.

On stage, Nicole Gambert,
or Nini-les-Gambettes,

kicked up a storm.

The enthusiastic audience
revelled in the show.

Every evening was a triumph.

From the gent over there.

And every evening for
nearly a month, Raymond Pointrenaud,

a former Prefect,
celebrated his promotion to Paris

as Secretary of State
for Foreign Affairs.

Meanwhile, Ferdinand
had barely traveled the 280 meters

that separate La Concorde

from Place des Pyramides.

Don't be shy!

You've seen others!

Oh my God!

Ferdinand's visions were in fact

an optical illusion.

The frenzied lights

came from the home of
Professor Marie-Joseph Esperandieu.

This eminent scientist
and expert on Ancient Egypt

had obtained a degree in physics
when he was only 16.

His research
culminated 35 years later

in a book with the evocative title,

Is There a Life After Death?

At the same moment,
across the Seine,

the question seemed to have been
settled long ago.

Yet, on the first floor,

a life form that contravened
the laws of science

was about to give the scientist
his answer.

As the century's
most amazing experiment

took place before our eyes,

inspector Albert Caponi
had his tightly shut.

Of course, had he seen
the pterodactyl fly by his window,

our story would have been
drastically different,

but for now no one could blame
the inspector for his somnolence.

His stoutness and perseverance
had previously earned him

a good many distinctions,

including the Medal of Merit

for solving the mystery of the
missing persons of Dreux asylum.

He was decorated
on August 28th, 1907,

by the Prefect Raymond Pointrenaud
in person.

Raymond! What are you doing?

Let my little bird land
on your branches.

You devil!
Nothing arouses me more than poetry.

Really?

Yes!

As the night recedes

The sap in the branch
prepares to rise

And the bird in the nest
to open its eyes...

Goodness me!

Drive normally, can't you?

Caponi speaking.

Caponi speaking.

In the Seine?

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Help me find the words.

This young man's a scientist, too,
but a humble assistant,

working at the Botanical Gardens.

His name's Zborowsky and he's 23.

Science isn't his only passion.

He has another,
more voracious one.

Dear...

Miss Adèle...

What if she's married?
Or even worse, widowed?

Yes, his second passion

is unconditional love
for Miss Adèle Blanc-Sec.

A passion she provoked
with these few words...

Who's it for?

First name, perhaps?

Yes.

Which is?

Andrej, with a J,
as in jaguar.

I'd love one.

A Jaguar.

For Andrej with a J,
as in jaguar

Thank you!

Andrej Zborowsky
was definitively lost to science.

As for Adèle Blanc-Sec
and her sense of humor,

they had set off on a new adventure,

much less monstrous
and much more exotic,

since her publisher
had sent her to Peru

to unravel the mystery
of the last Incas.

Something you should know about
Adèle, to really understand her...

She listens to her instincts,
not her publisher.

Aziz, how many hours' ride
to the rendezvous?

In this heat,
at least six, Miss Adèle.

Very well. Let's move out.

- What's "move" in Arabic?
- Yalla, Miss Adèle.

And "Move, you ass, or you're dead"?

Stop!

Is this it?

I think so.

Very well.

You need to drink a lot of water
in this heat.

These are the two men
I told you about.

A cup of tea before the drop?

Do I look like I drink tea?

- Is this the tomb room?
- Not yet.

It's the embalming room,

where the mummies were prepared.

The bodies were gutted on the altar

and the entrails thrown
in these pots.

Then, after a quick wash,

they were powdered,
made up and dressed.

- What was this for?
- Made-to-measure suits.

The body goes here and the machine
wraps it in 20 layers of bandages.

Not to mention the oil,

squirted between each layer.

What kind of oil is it?

No idea, but it worked a treat.

Found it!

Yes, this is it.

Gents, let's see your treasure.

Death...

is the only path...

that leads...

to birth.

Your journey ends here, darling.

To thank you for your cooperation,

we'll spare your life.

Get lost!

Fine Egyptian hospitality!

Yes, but he's not Egyptian.

Great...

A peculiarly inflammable mix
of oil and petroleum.

Enter with even a tiny match

and there'll be fireworks.

Let me know when your
gentlemen's club is open to women.

Excuse me.

Just as I thought.

Miss!

After careful consideration,
we accept your application.

Allow me to save
my emotion for later.

That's that bit done.

Hold on a sec...

Where'd you learn all this?

There are only two ways.
Be Egyptian or learn to read.

Amazing!

Allah is great!

Here he is...

C'mon, they're down there!

Even without the stone,
it's very heavy.

How will we ever get it out?

In tombs like this, there's a way in
and a way out. Find it.

Yes, Miss Adèle.

Open it.

Opening a pharaoh's tomb
is sacrilege.

You can hang for that.

What punishment for taking his gold?

None.

Beware, you witch!

I won't leave without my gold.

I fear you're right.

Money can't buy happiness, Aziz.

Open it!

That's your pharaoh?

No, a doctor.

If it's for a consultation, miss,
you may be a bit late.

However, I know
a specialist institute in Cairo,

where the doctors would be delighted
to examine you.

I'm fine, thank you.

Except for the nausea I feel
in your presence, Prof. Dieuleveult.

Still the same caustic
sense of humor, my dear Adèle.

You'll need it.

Meanwhile, tell me
why a great reporter like you

is here looting tombs.

Not looting, borrowing.

Of course!
You're taking him for a walk

to get some fresh air.

Patmosis is a professor of medicine,
Ramses II's personal doctor.

The greatest medical expert
in Ancient Egypt.

Fortunately, because...

I need his expertise.

Would that be to cure humankind?

No, just my sister.

She's ill.

How very thoughtful and touching!

But has it crossed your mind
that your professor is...

dead?

I'd noticed, thank you.

How will you resuscitate him?

May I?

Is There a Life After Death?

That old fool, Esperandieu?

He's barely able
to spin a chair round.

He'll be dead
before he revives this old mummy!

Mind your language!

Mummies hear everything we say
and detest disrespect.

You're scaring me!

After the Ice Monster,
here comes the Sand Zombie!

Watch out, he's a real grouch!

My dear Adèle,

I confess
I'm one of your most avid readers,

but this is by far
the silliest story you've ever told.

Take her away!

- The way out?
- I checked every wall. Nothing.

- It must be in the middle.
- The tomb's in the middle.

See? You found it.

Damn goo!

You know the punishment
for tomb raiders?

- Hanging.
- For locals only.

Foreigners are given more
consideration and a swift death.

More protocol, but much less pain.

Miss!

A last wish perhaps?

It's not very good for my health,

but I'd appreciate a cigarette.

Why not?

One won't kill you!

Thank you.

It's magnificent.

Yes.

May I?

Yes.

A gift, I suppose?

A memento, actually.

My father. On his death.

It's better this way.
Whenever I use it, I think of him.

I'd like to give you a souvenir.

Really?

Whenever you use it, think of me.

Into my arms!

Forgive me the sudden intimacy.

Excuse me, my good man!

Cairo?

Thanks.

May I?

Put him on the table.

Calm down.

Careful!

We'll take care of you.

Oxygen!

Calm down, Professor.

We're nearly there.

I'll kill her!

Oxygen!

I'll kill her!

Breathe in!

Blow out!

Fifty!

Mr. Choupard,

how can I believe a man
with 50% alcohol on his breath?

I swear it's true, Commissioner.

Inspector.

Inspector, yes.
The bird swooped onto the car

and pecked it to pieces!

And Prefo Pectoral...

- Prefect Pointrenaud was aboard.
- Ex-Prefect.

And he had a scantily clad woman
next to him.

A scantily clad woman?

With Pointrenaud,
founder of Christian Aid? Nonsense!

I know, but I saw her!

Like you saw
Joan of Arc ablaze once more.

Sir...

We've identified
three passengers in the vehicle.

Pointrenaud,

his driver,

and...

Good Lord!

What did I tell you?

To the drunk tank!

I'm innocent!

It's the big bird that did it!
I was just going home.

Gentlemen...

Until we find out more
about this tragedy,

I'm relying on you
to keep this case...

confidential.

Of course, sir.

- Not a word to the press.
- No, sir.

The Prefect and the Showgirl!

Their Dance with Death!

Get The Little Parisian today!

Giant Bird Preys on the Capital!

Get The Little Parisian!

Monster Kills Prefect!
Police Clueless!

Read all about it!

There you are, sir.

Monster Kills Prefect!
Police Clueless!

A pterodactyl? How grotesque!

They'll do anything
to sell their rag.

Even Le Gaulois has run it.
They'll panic people, that's all.

Probably.
It's the talk of the town.

Send poor Pointrenaud's widow
our condolences.

Yes, Mr. President.

A Prefect with a showgirl, perhaps.

But a pterodactyl?
In the 20th century!

You sent for me, sir?

Yes.

Call the Interior.

Good morning, sir.

This pterodactyl business
sounds serious.

It could be anarchists
up to their tricks.

Look into it
and keep me informed.

Leave it to me, sir.

Call the Prefect.

Minister.

This pterodactyl business
is dragging on.

The President
wants results this week.

I'll take care of it, sir.

Call Police Headquarters.

- Yes?
- Dugommier?

Who's on the pterodactyl case?

Captain Poissard.

Hardly surprising
it's going nowhere!

We need more energy.

A sleuth!

Give him 72 hours to obtain results.

I'm on the job, sir.

Get me Cheval!

We have to solve this fast.

Look lively!

- You have 48 hours.
- Consider it done, sir.

What a mess!

Caponi speaking.

Cheval here.

Good morning, Commissioner.

I've put you on the pterodactyl case.
Don't let me down.

Our reputation's at stake.

I'll do my best, sir.

You have 24 hours.

Thank you, sir.

Where'd an animal like that
come from?

Look...

It wasn't like that.

Of course not, Andrej.
This egg's always been in my care.

What happened?

Yesterday,
an attendant noticed broken glass.

He blamed it on a careless visitor

and simply replaced the glass.

People are so clumsy!

It's more complicated than that.

Look at the remains of the shell.

Most are still connected
to the amniotic membrane,

as if the force that cracked the egg

came from...

The inside?

Exactly.

But that would mean the egg...

Hatched, Zborowsky.

After 135 million years' gestation,

it emerged from its shell
and flew away.

Through there!

In that case,

could it be related
to the pterodactyl in the press?

You'd have made
an excellent policeman.

Professor Menard?

- Yes?
- Inspector Caponi.

What can I do for you?

I'm in charge
of the petrodactyl case.

Pterodactyl.

That's what I said.

Seeing the bone collection
in your museum,

I thought maybe you could help.

I'm strictly a Cretaceous man.

I'd suggest you see
a specialist in the Jurassic.

Look, I have 24 hours to solve this.

I can't go visiting Jura.

Let me find you a specialist
in Paris in that case.

Most kind of you.

Say...

That egg...

It'd make a heck of an omelette.

Please follow me.

Yes, of course.

I'll keep you informed
of developments.

Please do.

Good bye.

Come on...

Don't be scared. Come on.

Look what I've got for you.

Smells good.

This is it, sir.

Up there.

Excellent!

Fetch me a black coffee
and something to nibble on.

I can't think on an empty stomach.

You want more?

Eat, my baby, eat!

That's good, my baby.

Yes? What do you want?

I have some questions for you
about the ferodactyl.

Pterodactyl, sir.

I was told you're a specialist.

Yes, that's right.

But this isn't a...

I was about to eat.

Perfect, that's our specialty.

Well, please come in then.

Goodness, it's dark in here.

I'm very sensitive to light.

Please, take a seat.

Thanks, Jeannot.

May I?
I haven't eaten in 2 days.

Go ahead.

So, how can I be of help?

Tell me about the animal.

What it eats, where it sleeps...

We know very little
about its habits.

We do know it's a carnivore.

Quite right!
Nothing beats a rare rib of beef!

What's that?

It's the toucan.

Please go on, Professor.

It has a wingspan of about...

six meters,

and can fly for hours on end,

looking for food...

to take back to the nest.

There's a nest of them?

No, I mean...
There's only one.

But at the time,
when they had a mate,

finding food

and building a nest

were their main activities.

Mating took place once a year

and for reasons as yet unknown,

they only laid one egg at a time.

Which explains
their aggressive nature,

especially...

when it came
to defending their one...

and only offspring.

Amazing!

Sir, the toucan's...

It's because of the egg.

It was too much for him.

The man's deranged!

Take him away!

Sorry.

Need a porter?

I wouldn't say no.

François-Xavier? How kind.

My only hope of seeing you, my dear,

as you travel far and near,

is if I lie in wait for you here.

Very good!

Gently! It's fragile.

Yes, ma'am.

28, Rue Dufour, please.

So?

Peru?

Far! Very far.

And very high.

Indeed.

You made it up Machu Picchu?

Every morning.

Every morning!

Is it indiscreet to ask

what treasure you bring us
in that fine box?

A pipe. An Andean pipe.

The large model.

That's all?

A sacred pipe I wrenched
from the tomb of the last Inca king.

- No!
- Yes!

Fatal for the uninitiated player,
so don't touch.

Definitely not.

Tell me, my good man,
is this a cab or a B&B?

I'd love to get moving, lady,

but these damn nags
are blocking the road.

When will they ban
horses from Paris?

This is the 20th century!

So...

Besides that, everything okay?

What hocus-pocus
have you brought back now?

Miranda, mind your language
and help with the bags.

It's obvious
you don't do the cleaning.

All very nice, your old relics,

but they don't half collect dust.

I'll take care of this one
personally.

What's all this mail?

The young man
from the Botanical Gardens.

A letter a day,

and two Monday
to make up for Sunday.

Reminds me of my youth in Andalusia,
in my mother's family.

There was a young picador,
strong as his bulls...

How is Agathe doing?

Fine.

She's been very good.

But she eats less and less.
Soon she'll be skin and bone.

We'll take good care of her.
Thank you, Miranda,

for your patience, your time
and your advice!

So, the young lady refuses to eat?

Now you look so unhealthy.

You need some blusher.

You're as pretty as ever.

I hope Miranda didn't bore you
with Andalusia.

I was in Egypt.
I have a surprise for you.

Meet Patmosis, personal physician
of Ramses II, the great pharaoh.

Medically, they were so advanced.

Their preservation techniques
prove it.

Nobody's ever done better.

I'm sure with all his secrets,
he'll soon have you on your feet.

As soon as I find the man
who can revive him.

Sir?

I'm very sorry, Miss Blanc-Sec.

I was about to slip you a note.

I'd no idea you were back.

I was about to go out.

I won't keep you.

I hope not.

Here...

Number them,
so I know where to begin.

Forget the others.

I mean, you can read them later.

That one's the most important.

It's the first one
I'll read in the bath.

Really?

I read my mail in the bath.

ESPERANDIEU SENTENCED TO DEATH

Beautiful home.

What?

I mean, beautifully decorated.

What's this pterodactyl?

Exactly.

That's what my...

- Which prison has a death row?
- La Santé.

Can I do something to help?

Drink to my health!

Esperandieu, your lawyer to see you.

Your client, sir.

Miss Blanc-Sec?
What are you doing here?

Professor, I found Patmosis' mummy.

That's impossible.

True, but I did.
And don't ask me how.

Where is it now?

At home.
Waiting for you.

I fear
it will have to wait some more.

I don't see
how I can get out of here.

Anyway, my mind is too busy
controlling the bird.

- The pterodactyl?
- Yes.

I wanted to refine my technique
while you were in Egypt.

I brought to life an egg
over 135 million years old.

Perfect! A 4,000-year-old mummy
will be child's play.

Perhaps, but the bird exhausts me.

Whenever I doze off,

its killer instinct takes over.
I must stop it.

My sister first,
then your giant insect.

That's fine by me,
but how will you get me out?

Trust your lawyer.

Sir?

I'm here to see my client,
Esperandieu.

Mr. Saint Hubert,
can we have a comment?

Hold back the reporters!

Gentlemen, calm down!

Let him speak!

I cut short my African trip
at the government's behest.

They have asked me
to dispatch this pterodactyl.

It's a great honor to put my talent
at the service of the nation.

Mr. Saint Hubert,
what approach will you use?

First, we'll track it down,

to study its behaviour and habits.

How will you find it?

Quite simply, by raising our sights.

Anything good today?

Pigeon.

- You've saved my life.
- Don't mention it.

Come out, wherever you are.

It's right here, Caponi.

- I can sense it.
- Wonderful.

What is it exactly?

Mutton! That's what it is.

Really?

Categorically.
Trust me, I know my droppings.

It's the best way
to track an animal.

We're making progress, Caponi.
Progress!

Wonderful.

In the bowl, there's a badge.

You're Armand Petit-Blanchard,
head cook.

Armand what?

Petit-Blanchard, I said!

Someone stole my badge
from my locker.

Hands off me!

Get out!

That's enough now!

Right...

I need a better plan.

Sorry, no more paté.

Not to worry.

Unless I'm mistaken,
it could find sheep in three places.

Montmartre in the north,

the colonial exhibition in the east,

or the Botanical Gardens.

That's right.

Let's go!

By the grace of God!

Thank you, my son.

Don't touch!

Hurry up, let's go!

As Daddy would say, a battle that
seems lost is the most exciting.

Up and at 'em!

The farmer's counted the herd twice.
None missing.

Fine! Let's go!

My sheep!

I'm so sorry.

It just went off.

Bertrand?

Get a vet.

Cell 28. It's for his jab.

Sorry.

Professor?

Wake up! It's time to go.

Would you be so kind
as to come back later?

I really am very tired.

That takes the biscuit!

Six Poitou goats,
four Vanoise chamois,

fifteen Larzac ewes and...

nine, ten,
twelve mountain sheep from Jura.

Jura?

All present and correct!

Good. On to the Botanical Gardens.
The noose is tightening.

We'll launch our assault
at first light.

Corporal!

You're relieved!

Fine by me.

Good luck!

I hope you had a good sleep.
We have to go now.

- What are you doing here?
- It's not by choice.

Where's the Professor?

They transferred him last night.

Always do before the execution.

Execution?

The guillotine,
tomorrow at dawn.

It can't be...

Unfortunately, it can.
Unless...

- He gets a pardon.
- Pardon?

Yes.

Here...

I pardon you.

Go on, fetch!

Good boy, Nelson!

Mr. President,

Miss Blanc-Sec's here.

She has nothing on her.

What? Nothing on her?

We searched her. She's unarmed.

Go on!

Come on, Nelson!

Good boy!

My dear Miss Blanc-Sec!

Mr. President.

You know I have a fond memory
of that interview...

When was it?

January 18th, 1906.
The day after you were elected.

It was my first interview.

And the last time I laughed so much.

Yes, I was appalling.

You were charming.

So, what can I do for you?

Well...

As President, you often criticize
the death penalty.

I've pardoned
17 condemned men in my first term.

Precisely.

Please, pardon one more.

Professor Esperandieu.

Due for execution tomorrow.
He's innocent.

I know his case.

We have three dead bodies,
including a Prefect.

He didn't kill them.
It was a prehistoric beast!

Only the Professor can control it.

Without him,
how many bodies will there be?

Miss, we have put
our finest men on the case.

We even called in
a big game hunter from Africa

to dispatch the animal.

Nelson!

Fetch your ball!

Esperandieu is a fine scholar.

His research
keeps science going forward.

By taking his life,
you condemn so many others.

I promise I'll think it over.

Thank you, sir.

What's wrong?
Your ball's over there!

Come on! Look!

What's up? Seen a ghost?

See? Your ball's over here.

Come and fetch it!

Into my arms!

Sorry.

Get off him!

Take your paws off me!

Let me go!

- Are you hurt, sir?
- I'm fine.

I'm warning you, I do jiu-jitsu.

Let me go or I'll press charges!

Find Nelson!

Eyes open, Caponi!

Both are wide open, honestly.

Vigilance and patience
are the hunter's watchwords.

Tell me, Saint Hubert,

could I nip off for a minute
for some food?

Out of the question!

We are at war, my friend.

One day I hunted a tiger
lying low in a Bengali temple.

We went three days without food.

Three days!

Yes.

Incredible!
How did you do it?

I started by consulting
all the books in the library,

which confirmed
the animal's sedentary nature.

So I got the idea
to collect the fragments of its egg

and put them in a quiet place.

Then I left out
some choice cuts of beef,

so it wouldn't decimate
our herd of Corsican sheep.

Zborowsky...

You're a genius!

It's nothing really.

Just a little intuition.

With intuition like that,

you must sweep the ladies
off their feet, my young friend!

That depends on the lady.

Are there two L's in Adèle?

Just two E's.

Tweeze?

Adèle. A-D-E-L-E.

Blanc-Sec.
Like the wine. Dry white, you know.

Yes, I know dry whites.

Marvelous!

Go ahead. From the beginning.

To cure my sister, I went to Egypt,
not Peru, to find a doctor,

Patmosis,
a charming but mummified fellow.

Prof. Esperandieu
was supposed to wake him,

not the damn pterodactyl
which he should've left alone,

given its attack
on the President and his pet.

The ptero...

No, the pet's the dog.

I summoned up all my courage
and threw myself on the President.

A heroic but calculated gesture,

intended to secure a pardon
for the Professor to save my sister.

I was arrested for attacking him.

Do I look like a terrorist?

No.

So the bird dunked on Nelson.

Dunked?

Clear? Can I go home now?

Yes.
However...

One tiny detail escapes me.

Which is?

Who is... Whose is...

Whose is the dog?

Right...

Do you have to speak in Morse,
or we'll be all night?

I save the President
and that's the thanks I get?

You louts!

Things didn't quite go to plan,
little sis.

I need a bath to gather my wits.

My God!

- Yes?
- Into my arms!

I read your letter.

- Which one?
- About the pterodactyl.

You're a genius, Andrej.

Let's go.
The taxi's waiting downstairs.

Right away.

This way.

See? I wasn't telling you lies.

Incredible!

Be careful, Miss Adèle.

Don't worry,
I've cracked tougher nuts.

Birdy, birdy...

It prefers meat.

Really?

Silly me.

Where are you from, my beauty?

I don't mean you!

In any case,

you have beautiful plumage.

In truth,

if your voice
is the equal of your coat...

Fine.

Clearly no ancestor
of the nightingale.

Watch out,
it might think you're a goat.

You smooth-talker.

No, I meant...

- I'm usually called bird names.
- Really?

My dove...

My chickadee...

My feathery thing!

Actually...

You want my feathers, don't you?

My feathery thing...

Feathers of little birdies...

Or of animals...

Incredible!

There you go, that's good.

Now we're friends,
I have a favour to ask of you.

Surely you're not going to...

It'd be rude not to.

It's madness!

It can't be more complicated
than a camel.

It can.

Watch out! The tree!

There we are.

You're unbelievable, Miss Blanc-Sec.

Now we've mastered the unbelievable,
let's perform the impossible.

Here we are!

This way, my friends.

This is so exciting!

You haven't seen anything yet.

And don't blink, or you'll miss it.

I prepared some snacks for you.

Good thinking. This is for you.

Thank you.

Champagne?
I'll be tipsy again.

- Which way?
- At the window.

Look at the crowd.
We're just in time.

There he is!

An ugly little head he has.

- I see why they'd chop it off.
- Charlotte!

It was because of the egg.

It was too much for him.

They've put a bag on his head.

I don't understand.

Why'd the executioner fly off
with a bag on his head?

There!

There it is!

- There!
- I'm here!

It's snatched a man.
Fetch an ambulance.

- Leave the rest to me.
- I'll go right away.

You keep it, buster.

You've earned it.

Anyone there!

Where are we?

Is this hell?

Here I am!

Adèle?

Hello.

How can this be?

He saved your life.

You brought him to life,
so it's only fair.

Yes.

What's going on? Who are these...

Esperandieu?

Menard!

By the saints! A miracle!

Menard, you old blackguard!

Esperandieu, well I never!

How on earth did you get here?

That's a very long story.

You can tell it later.
This winter, over a hot chocolate.

We have a mummy to wake
and sister to save.

Just joking!

Yes, she's just joking.

Well, I'm not joking.

Tired after your trip?

Indeed I am. Very tired.

- Want to go home?
- Yes.

I should be going home.

- I'll take you.
- Yes, take us home.

Sure, take him home.

Goodbye, ducky!

What's that...

Saint Hubert?

Not now!

Stupid hound!

You worthless nincompoop,
who allowed you to shoot at science?

I am Justin de Saint Hubert,
big game hunter...

Big game hunter?

I'm a hunter, too,

but I only shoot black sheep.

You seem a fine specimen.

Stop that! You've no right!

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Don't die now, please!

I'll do my best.

Let me help.

If you want to help,
look after the pterodactyl.

- But the Professor's bleeding.
- They're connected!

Don't ask how or why.
If we lose one, we lose both.

Don't let it happen.

Yes, of course!

Leave it to me.

28, Rue Dufour.

What do I do now?

Place antique objects
in a circle around me.

The older the better.

Yes, that one.

I'm going to need to...

put this bandage on you.

I'll be right back.

There! What now?

Now...

I'll try to establish contact
with the mummy

to see if it agrees
to entrust the keys to me.

Excellent!

What keys?

After death,

the whole body shrinks

and locks itself in the mind.

I discovered the frequency

that enables me
to communicate with the mind,

which never dies.

Wonderful!

It's going to work.

Maybe...

some procoagulants...

in a nub...

of butter?

Professor!

Please, stay with me.

Please, just a little longer!

Bless you.

Thanks.

Sorry about the glass.

Forget it.
I have to tidy up anyway.

What a shame he's gone.

I'd have liked to get to know him.

What have we here?
I detect a certain likeness.

She's my sister.

She doesn't look well.

But...

Actually...

With the knowledge you possess,
perhaps you could try

to bring her back to life?

I have some modest talents,
but not that one.

What? You're not a doctor?

Absolutely not.

I'm a nuclear physicist.

I deal in figures,
signs and equations.

Nothing very extraordinary.

Doctors don't leave the pharaoh's
side, and are buried next to them,

right next door.

May I make some tea?

Be my guest.

Very kind of you.

Kindness is a highly prized quality
in our dynasty.

I admit that
throughout this adventure,

you have been
very hospitable towards me,

and I'd like to thank you.

You could hear?

Everything.

And see? Like when I...

Everything.

Don't blush.

With this body,
you appreciate that of others more.

Thanks.

I suppose you want a doctor
to cure this poor child.

Yes.

Not only is she my sister,

but also my friend, my angel...

My twin.

What happened to her?

A freak accident.

A camel?

Tennis.

- Lend me your hatpin.
- No way!

- Thanks.
- For nothing.

- How do I look?
- Like skewered kidneys.

Which I take to mean...

"Gracious! Why did my parents
give her beauty and leave me

only bitterness and jealousy?"

One game all.

New balls.

We'd just turned twenty.

Agathe was so beautiful.

We'd discovered a new sport
and played whenever we could.

In order to avoid...

any sense of rivalry,
we never had an actual match.

Our games were strictly friendlies.

Then, in a moment of euphoria,

a moment of shared happiness,

tragedy struck.

Agathe!

Miss, are you okay?

Miss, wake up!

Move!

Please!

No, not that!

Sorry! Stay with me!

Don't touch me!
Go and fetch a doctor!

She was born a few minutes
after me but...

she departed well before me.

It's the only race
I'd have loved to lose.

Indeed, a most regrettable accident.

Believe me,
I'm very sorry I can't help you.

The Professor did a remarkable job.

His mental power

must have woken the dead
in a radius of two kilometers.

But I'm not the right person.

Hold on a sec...

Two kilometers?

Yes, probably.

The waves ripple out

like when you throw
a stone into water.

And Ramses' doctors
never left his side?

They never left the room,
even when he was mating.

THE MUMMIES OF RAMSES II

Patmosis, you're a genius.

Let's go!

Excuse me, I'm looking for
the Ramses exhibition.

Yes, quite!

Stop importuning people.
You'll get us noticed.

I couldn't resist.
It was rather amusing.

After 5,000 years in a tomb,
can't I have some fun?

First things first.
Then you can die.

Of laughing, if you wish.

Can you open it?

I'm no better locksmith than doctor.

Perhaps you could serve
some kind of purpose,

or I'll float you down the Seine.
The Nile, it ain't!

Don't get upset.
Humor soothes the savage breast.

That's not humor!

Maybe it made the pharaohs laugh,
but this is the 20th century!

That's better.

This way, Mistress.

- Patmosis!
- Yes, Mistress.

Coming, Mistress!

THE MUMMIES OF RAMSES II
EXHIBIT

- This way, Mistress.
- Cut it out!

You're very tense. Relax.

I'll give you a massage later.

You're a chiropractor now?

No, but I studied molecular energy.

For now, stick to opening doors.

Beautiful, eh?
Reminds me of when we painted.

All clear?

Look, what's that?

Patmosis...

Leave it to me, Mistress.

Miss!

Waking people, no,
but knocking them out, no problem.

Thank you, Mistress.

They're all jumbled up.

If Ramses saw this...

Wake him,
so he can rearrange them.

The faithful first, so they're there
when the Pharaoh wakes.

Poor dear,
don't want him feeling homesick.

And definitely not insulted,
so I suggest we respect protocol.

I'm in favour of protocol.

Sorry to bother you,
are you a doctor?

Are you a surgeon?

I'm looking for a doctor.

No, you're not a doctor!

Doctor anyone?

Great nap.

What is that ridiculous attire?

Native costume, Your Highness.

Allow me to introduce
Miss Adèle Blanc-Sec,

a scribe.

Hi.

The natives employ women
to write their texts?

Their civilization
is still rough and ready,

but she is very amiable

and waking us was her good idea.

Good idea?
I feel I've woken up a little early.

Sorry to wake you, Your Highness,
I had no choice.

It's a matter of life or death.

Life or death?
It comes and it goes.

I'd like my sister's to come back.

Miss Adèle woke me up
in the belief that I was a doctor.

You? A doctor?

I wouldn't let you clip my nails.

She's looking for a doctor
to treat her sister,

and we thought
that in your great kindness,

you might let your personal physician
take a look at the child.

You woke me up
for such a trivial affair?

Hold on, Rammy!

5,000 years,
you've been snoring away.

I've had five years of grieving,

of suffering with my sister
who can't see me.

I'm a poor earth-dweller
with no divine protection.

I live with the pain every day,

and with the guilt
that never goes away.

Because it was all my fault!
It was my hatpin!

What's this about a hat?

Nothing, I'll tell you later.

Nosibis, my faithful doctor...

See if you can give the girl
a little life back,

so she can enjoy
all this love for her.

Thank you...

Your Highness.

Serene Majesty?

The doctors said if we took it out,
she'd most likely die.

You're insane!

I asked you to cure her,
not kill her, you bag of bones!

Calm down, Adèle. Don't interfere.

What's that?

The Pharaoh's entrails.

Charming.

Is the kiss necessary?

Not really, more of a tradition.

It's better to do it now,
before she wakes up.

No kidding.

Well...

Let's go out and see the sights.

Are you mad, hitting
the ball like that? I'm your sister!

And I love you
more than the whole world.

It was a privilege meeting you,
Miss Adèle.

Same here, Patmosis.

Apologize to your Pharaoh for me,

for being so rude.

- And thank him for me.
- I will...

Mistress.

Who are you talking to?

Nobody, darling.

Don't move.

Everything will be fine now,
I promise.

This way, Your Majesty.

What was that?

Sorry to importune you again.

Go ahead.

Which way to the Nile, please?

Why, of course!

They are very curious people.

Cruelly lacking in manners.

I agree, Your Highness.

But they have
highly developed artistic talents.

This courtyard, for example,

is magnificent.

Quite magnificent!

We should build a pyramid here.

I'm sure it would be
a fine addition.

Meanwhile, Sire,
perhaps we should rejoin the others?

You are right, Patmosis.
Let's go!

Curse of the Pharaohs Strikes Paris!

Read all about it!

Mummies Vanish from the Louvre!

There you go, sir!

Curse of the Pharaohs Strikes Paris!

What's this now about mummies?

It's another anarchist plot.

Call the Interior.

Tuck in, my little Caponi!

Who's it for?

It was for Miss Adèle.

She's taken a few weeks' vacation.

Give them to someone else.

For me?

That's so kind!

What's your name?

First name perhaps?

Yes.
Andrej, with a J, as in...

As in jaguar.

- Cup of tea?
- Yes.

- Enjoy the trip.
- Thank you.

Hurry, miss, we're about to leave.

All right, keep your hair on.

Blanc-Sec, Adèle.

Thank you.

The woman in the green hat?

Leave it to us.

Hurry up!

Welcome on board.

- These are yours?
- Take good care of them.

Good start to the holiday.

Sorry, it was an accident.

Have a good trip, Miss Blanc-Sec.

While Adèle was saving her sister...

A fine zebra!

I've lost Saint Hubert!

I just lost him! Go and find him!

You put up a good fight.

Please, I'm begging you.

Smile!

- Nobody move!
- I'm out of ammunition.

Take him away!

You look like a fine specimen, too.

Sit tight.

I'll get reinforcements.

Fine, take your time.