All language subtitles for Tacoma FD S04E13 Bad Blood 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP 5 1 H 264-CSd_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:05,179 - Ahh. Man, I love our little baby so much. 2 00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:07,659 - She is the perfect combination of me and you. 3 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,009 She's got my cherrywood helm 4 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,011 and your 50-gallon waste capacity. 5 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:13,491 - [sighs] The only thing we need to figure out 6 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,319 is who's the captain. - Oh, that's easy. 7 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:18,670 I'm already a captain. - [chuckles] No, I'm the chief. 8 00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,672 - There's no chiefs in the nautical world, 9 00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,501 only captains, and I'm a captain. 10 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,025 - Well, not on this boat, you're not. 11 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,678 - Hey, guys. 12 00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,419 - Mickleberry, who's the captain on this boat? 13 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:29,986 - You are, Captain. - Thank you. 14 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,379 - [grumbles] 15 00:00:31,422 --> 00:00:32,641 - Here's your morning milk, Chief. 16 00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:35,470 - Thank you, Mickleberry. Ah, okay. 17 00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,558 Ha. Cheers. 18 00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:40,475 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. 19 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,825 Ahh. Delicious. 20 00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,305 Get one for yourself, Mickleberry. 21 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,523 - No, thanks. I don't like milk. 22 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:46,959 - Ooh. 23 00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:48,526 - Mickleberry, I do not like a man 24 00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:49,919 who does not drink milk. 25 00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:51,660 It develops strong teeth and bones. 26 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:54,054 - I'll try harder, Chief. - That'll be all, Mickleberry. 27 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,926 - Aye, aye, Captain. - Ooh, "Aye, aye, Captain." 28 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,406 I like that. - It's silly. 29 00:00:58,449 --> 00:00:59,842 I'm so much more nautical than you. 30 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,583 - Bullshit. 31 00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,193 - You think you have more nautical knowledge than me? 32 00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,586 - How about knot tying? 33 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:05,761 - I would crush you at knot tying. 34 00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,371 - Fine. Knot for knot. 35 00:01:07,415 --> 00:01:09,330 Okay, let's do it. Your funeral. 36 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:10,896 Bowline. - Bowline. 37 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:13,029 Give me a break over here with the bowline. 38 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,031 - It's an easy one. - Huh? 39 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,902 [laughs] - "Knot" bad. 40 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,861 - French bowline. - French bowline? 41 00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:21,385 Okay, I learned how to tie this when I was a child. 42 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,474 Voilà. - That was an easy one. 43 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,086 - Carrick bend. - Oh, carrick bend. Really? 44 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,826 - I'm giving you entry-level knots. 45 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,698 - Carrick bend. [laughs] 46 00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,569 Huh? [chuckles] All right. 47 00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:32,962 Jury mast knot. 48 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:34,529 - I could do this one in my sleep. 49 00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:37,271 Matter of fact... [snores] 50 00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,142 Jury mast knot. 51 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:40,709 Sheepshank. - Huh? 52 00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:42,624 [laughs] Halyard. 53 00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,147 - Halyard. 54 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,410 Double constrictor knot. - [chuckles] 55 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,151 What's a double constrictor knot? 56 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,761 - It's the one I tied around your feet 57 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,502 while you weren't looking. 58 00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:54,592 - What the hell-- Eddie, how'd you do that? 59 00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,159 - It's a great knot. 60 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,595 The more you struggle, the tighter it gets. 61 00:01:57,639 --> 00:02:00,250 - Okay, all right, let me out of this. 62 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,644 - I'm the captain now. [laughs] 63 00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:05,908 Hey, swabbie, stow these ropes. This boat is a disaster area. 64 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:08,606 - Eddie, Eddie, come back here! 65 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:11,957 It's getting tighter! Eddie! 66 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,785 Is this one of your crazy sex knots? 67 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,178 Eddie! 68 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:18,181 [Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"] 69 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:23,708 ♪ ♪ 70 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:26,320 - ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪ 71 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,931 ♪ Check it and see ♪ 72 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:32,630 ♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪ 73 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,590 ♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪ 74 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,464 - Okay, everyone, it's one of those times of the year 75 00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,423 where we get to do something special, 76 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:44,686 the annual Tacoma FD blood drive. 77 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,601 - All right, yeah! - Yeah! 78 00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:49,169 - As always, we've partnered with Tacoma Memorial Hospital. 79 00:02:49,212 --> 00:02:50,648 We'll do our outreach to the public, 80 00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,476 and, of course, we'll all donate blood. 81 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,435 - I don't like giving blood. - Why not? 82 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,827 - I have hard-to-find veins. 83 00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,351 The nurses can never find them, 84 00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,353 so they dig around in there, and it's painful. 85 00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,442 - Don't worry, kid. I'm a licensed phlebotomist. 86 00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,357 - Gesundheit. [chuckles] 87 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,749 - Hey, you're donating, okay? 88 00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,186 Everyone's blood is important, 89 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,188 even if it's not as sweet as mine. 90 00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:10,451 O-negative, kid, the universal donor-- 91 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:11,800 I can save anyone's live. 92 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,323 - Well, I'm AB-positive, 93 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,238 which means I'm the universal receiver, 94 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,197 which means I can take it from anyone. 95 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,546 - [laughs] 96 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,025 - I'm the most uplifting blood type, 97 00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,853 B-positive. Get it? 98 00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:24,378 - Yeah. Okay, anyway, we're gonna get the word out 99 00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:26,031 to as many people as we possibly can, 100 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,990 and, of course, this year, we will also be shooting 101 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:31,080 our traditional promo video. - Ooh, I love that one. 102 00:03:31,123 --> 00:03:32,647 - Before we go-- [chuckles] Excuse me-- 103 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,431 I have one last announcement to make. 104 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,780 - Why are you pushing me out of the way? 105 00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:37,521 - It's my podium. [clears throat] 106 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,350 uh, for this year's blood drive, we will be teaming up 107 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,222 with the Tacoma Police Department. 108 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,006 - What? - Chief, no, why? 109 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:45,573 - That's a horrible idea. 110 00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:47,227 - We're calling it Badge Buddies. 111 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,054 - Hold on, hold on a second. - See that? Huh? 112 00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,666 - Chief, Chief, Chief, the blood drive is my event, okay? 113 00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,058 We're not doing it with the police. 114 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,625 Right, guys? - It's our thing. 115 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,932 - Yeah. - We hate those guys. 116 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:59,326 - Listen, I've already pitched Tacoma Memorial, 117 00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,110 and they love the idea. 118 00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,199 First responders banding together for a good cause, huh? 119 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,896 [chuckles] Come on. 120 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,681 I know we're supposed to hate the cops, 121 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:09,553 but, listen, if we combine their social-media outreach 122 00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,773 with the natural love people have for firefighters, 123 00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,688 it's really gonna move the needle. 124 00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,646 [laughs] - "Move the needle." 125 00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:16,952 - Huh? Huh? 126 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:18,388 He gets me. This kid gets me. 127 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,389 - Yeah. - Right? 128 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,738 - Good for you, kid. 129 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,697 Listen, let's not let bad blood 130 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:25,177 get in the way of collecting good blood, okay? 131 00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,962 Carry on. 132 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,268 - You got to stop this, man. 133 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,921 - The only reason he's doing this 134 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,749 is 'cause of his new friendship with Polonsky. 135 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:33,360 - I know-- look, I've always said, 136 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,013 there's no reason to make new friends after 40. 137 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,667 Nothing good comes from it, 138 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:39,931 but the most important thing is the blood drive, 139 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,890 and if this brings more people to it, 140 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,674 that's a good thing, okay? 141 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:46,155 So let's be positive. - Which is the best blood type. 142 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,896 - [chuckles] Nah. 143 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,941 They dump that shit down the drain, probie. 144 00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:52,770 Okay, everyone, get back to work. 145 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:55,947 [laughing evilly] 146 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:59,386 [imitating Dracula] I have come to suck your blood. 147 00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,475 [laughs evilly] 148 00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,738 - That's okay, Dracula, as long as you come 149 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:07,481 to the Tacoma FD and PD blood drive. 150 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,091 - That's right. 151 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,267 This year's theme is Badge Buddies. 152 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,921 Hi, I'm Jerry. - I'm Terry. 153 00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,531 - And I am scary. 154 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,620 [laughs evilly] - That doesn't rhyme at all. 155 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:17,752 - [normal voice] What? Of course it rhymes. 156 00:05:17,795 --> 00:05:18,753 - Not at all. - Yeah-- 157 00:05:18,796 --> 00:05:20,102 - Cut. - Hey, no. 158 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,538 Mickleberry, don't you dare cut. 159 00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,671 Only I call cut. And now cut. 160 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,499 - And cut. 161 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:27,327 - What do you mean doesn't rhyme? 162 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,329 - "Erry" and "ary" are two completely different sounds. 163 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,895 - Yeah, combined with your accent, 164 00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:32,593 it kind of hits my ear funny. 165 00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,029 - I'm also wondering what you're even doing here. 166 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,726 Should you even be in this scene? 167 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,598 - Guy, we've been doing the Dracula bit for years, 168 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,513 and it kills. - The theme is Badge Buddies. 169 00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,428 Terry has a badge, Jerry has a badge, 170 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,212 Dracula, no badge. 171 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,214 And I'm wondering why Dracula's even out during daytime. 172 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,781 - Who says it's daytime? 173 00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,391 - Because I wear sweatpants at night. 174 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,741 - [gasps] Hey, I wear sweatpants at night, too. 175 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,874 We have so much in common. [imitating Dracula] It's scary. 176 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,658 [laughs] You know what? 177 00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:56,573 Now that I hear it, "scary" does not rhyme 178 00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,140 with Terry or Jerry. - Yes, it does. 179 00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,881 It's a slant rhyme. - Mm... 180 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,710 - I say we 86 Eddie Munster. 181 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,059 - [laughing] Eddie Munster. 182 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:05,713 - I say we 86 the redhead. 183 00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:07,802 Their kind can't donate blood anyway. 184 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,325 They're all anemic. 185 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,674 - You know what? Jerry's right. 186 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,023 We should just stick to the guys 187 00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,547 who are in charge of their stations. 188 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:14,939 You want to go collab? - I think we should. 189 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,854 - Stand by, Mickleberry. We'll be back. 190 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,421 - Do you have a room that only fits two people? 191 00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,422 - Yeah, yeah, my office. 192 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,902 Come on. - Perfect. 193 00:06:20,945 --> 00:06:22,860 - Cap, I admire how self-assured you are. 194 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,776 Must be tough seeing Polonsky moving in on your best friend. 195 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,517 Nobody should be making friends after 40. 196 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:29,519 - Yeah, I need to do something about that. 197 00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,303 - You need to be a psycho bitch. 198 00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:34,219 - Ooh, good idea, Mickleberry. 199 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,439 I'm gonna break up that friendship. 200 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:39,486 [laughing evilly] - Cap, where'd you go? 201 00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:40,487 Cap? 202 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:43,925 [upbeat rock music] 203 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,970 - Morning, dipshits. 204 00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:48,843 [door closes] Your saviors have arrived. 205 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,714 Uh, apparently you guys are too stupid 206 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,194 to do a blood drive on your own? 207 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,456 - Dude, the only reason you're here 208 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,153 is 'cause people don't like cops 209 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,894 and you need our reputation to pad your numbers. 210 00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:59,462 - What do you call this setup, by the way, town dump? 211 00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,943 'Cause it, uh, sure looks like you took a big, fat one. 212 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,858 - If you don't like it, you can leave. 213 00:07:03,901 --> 00:07:06,077 - Lucy, please... 214 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,863 don't make this any more complicated than it already is, 215 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:11,387 given the history of our romantic relationship. 216 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,345 - The only reason we got engaged 217 00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:14,956 is because you lost your mind on edibles 218 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,566 and I had to talk you down. 219 00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:20,091 - You took a big, fat, hard piss on my heart. 220 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,353 - [laughs] You pissed on him? 221 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:23,225 - Oh, is that funny? 222 00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:25,183 Ever had your heart broken, Crystal? 223 00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:26,620 - I just thought we were all, like, having fun 224 00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,056 and she was telling a joke. 225 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:29,536 I didn't know that you were not joking. 226 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,189 - I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy, 227 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,670 and make no mistake-- you are my worst enemy. 228 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,890 - And now we're gonna piss on you 229 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,153 during this blood drive. - That's gross. 230 00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,721 - We'll collect way more blood, bitches. 231 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,810 - Yeah, right. You want to bet? 232 00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:44,246 - Let's go. - Whoa, whoa. 233 00:07:44,289 --> 00:07:45,856 Chief said keep it friendly. - Yeah. 234 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,728 Yeah, I'm being friendly. I'm talking about a bet. 235 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,773 Just a straight-up bet. - As in no competition. 236 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,514 - Not a competition, Granny, a bet. 237 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,342 - What's the point of doing a blood drive together 238 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:54,952 if it's not a competition? 239 00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,606 - To maybe donate a lot of blood. 240 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,260 - Besides that, fool? 241 00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,480 - How about whoever collects the most blood 242 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,307 wins $100. - Oh. 243 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:04,048 - [chuckles] 244 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,789 Why don't we make it 200? - Yeah. 245 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,356 - Let's put some real skin in the game. 246 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,445 - You had me at skin. - Losing team... 247 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,968 - Marries you? 248 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,927 - Has to get the winning team's insignia 249 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,842 tattooed on their back. 250 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:17,018 - A real tattoo? - Yeah, no, real tattoo. 251 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:18,976 - No problem at all. - Let's go. 252 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:20,412 I don't give a shit. 253 00:08:20,456 --> 00:08:21,805 I'll get a tattoo of a dick on my chest. 254 00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,241 - I'll get a chest tattoo on my dick. 255 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,286 - Okay, fine. 256 00:08:24,329 --> 00:08:25,896 Whoever has the most blood 257 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,595 by 6:00 p.m. close of business is the winner. 258 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,248 - It's on. - Huh. 259 00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,641 - [chuckles] - Boom. 260 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:32,990 - Yeah, boom. - Boom. 261 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,078 - Boom. - Oh. 262 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,607 - It's looking really good. 263 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,217 Mm. - Ooh! 264 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,959 - 'Cause this is way more than a recovery area. 265 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,178 This is the chill zone. 266 00:08:47,222 --> 00:08:49,833 - Chill zone! - Oh, whatever. 267 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,880 - This right here is where we're getting all the blood. 268 00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:56,361 - We'll see about that. - Fresh-baked cookies. 269 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:57,711 - Nice. 270 00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:58,842 - That's what I'm talking about. 271 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,061 - Oh, yeah. 272 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,976 That ought to clinch it. [laughs] 273 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:06,197 Except we also have fresh cookies. 274 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:07,764 - Yeah, did you get 'em from the gas station? 275 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,418 - Got 'em at the dollar store. 276 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,159 - Fresh steaks hot off the grill 277 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,987 for those looking to replenish their red blood cells. 278 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:14,989 - Okay, you know what? This is bullshit. 279 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:17,165 You have home field advantage. - You're bullshit. 280 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,949 - Wait, what'd you say? Say it to my face. 281 00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:20,342 - He said, "You're bullshit." 282 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,691 - [gasps] - You're bullshit. 283 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,388 I bet your steaks aren't even organic. 284 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:24,476 - Bullshit! - That's bullshit! 285 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,087 - You're bullshit! 286 00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,132 - It's nice to see once-bitter rivals team up 287 00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:29,786 for a good cause. - Yeah. 288 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,309 Reminds me of that YouTube video 289 00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:32,833 with the cat breastfeeding the orphan puppy. 290 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,661 That one made me cry. - Aw. Me too, teared up. 291 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,314 - [laughs] Right? 292 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,881 - You people ready to do this? Let's go. 293 00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,928 [all cheering] - All right, Captain, hit it. 294 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,930 ♪ ♪ 295 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:45,280 Ooh, look at this, huh? Good turnout, guys. 296 00:09:45,323 --> 00:09:47,499 - Oh, yeah. 297 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:50,459 - [chuckles] We got this in the bag--trust me. 298 00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,113 We've rescued half these people. 299 00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:54,028 - Morning, folks. 300 00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,769 If you're here to donate for the police, go to your left. 301 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,292 If you're here to donate to the firefighters, 302 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,163 go to your right. [laughs] 303 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:02,123 Oh, and be sure to check out the firefighter chill zone. 304 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,821 It's where you want to be. - Chill zone! 305 00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:09,347 ♪ ♪ 306 00:10:09,391 --> 00:10:11,045 What the hell? - Huh? 307 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,655 - Oh, you know what it might be? 308 00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,831 That speed trap around the corner I set up. 309 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:17,442 In the spirit of saving lives, I told everybody 310 00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:19,923 I wouldn't give 'em tickets if they bled for the blue. 311 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,838 - You're repulsive. - Oh, please. 312 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,710 We do so much worse. 313 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,276 - Hey, that's a pretty good-looking boat 314 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,843 you got out there. - Oh, thank you very much. 315 00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,192 Hey, you should come fishing 316 00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:29,672 with me and Eddie when we launch it. 317 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,065 - I would love to go fishing with you. 318 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,457 - Does this friendship piss you off? 319 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,285 - Yeah, no one over 40 320 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,331 should be making new friends. - That's what I said. 321 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,854 - You know what? To pay you back, 322 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,682 why don't you come to an MLS game with me? 323 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,292 - Major League Soccer? - Minor league soccer. 324 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,468 Tacoma Terriers. I got season tickets. 325 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,427 - There's no way Terry goes. He hates soccer. 326 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,342 - I love soccer. - How could you not? 327 00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,387 It's the world sport. - Come look at my boat. 328 00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:51,607 - Yeah, let's check it out. - Okay. 329 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,914 I need that relationship over. - I'm with you. 330 00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:57,569 - You and me as a team? - One time only. 331 00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,181 - Secret bedfellows. 332 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,661 I'm so sorry. 333 00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:04,664 I hope that wasn't inappropriate. 334 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,056 - Not at all. 335 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:09,364 [upbeat rock music] 336 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,279 - [sighs] - That was weird. 337 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,933 - You're telling me. 338 00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,849 So what's the plan to break up our bosses? 339 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,242 - That's easy-- "sabatage." 340 00:11:18,286 --> 00:11:19,809 - Are you trying to say sabotage? 341 00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,855 - No, I don't say sabotage. You say sabotage. 342 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:24,118 I say "sabatage." 343 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,989 - Well, it's completely made up, 344 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,425 like the orgasm I faked. 345 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,905 - Eh, that's your business. 346 00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,994 Let's trade intel on our bosses' weaknesses 347 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,474 and use it against 'em. 348 00:11:32,517 --> 00:11:33,910 It's the type of stratagem I'd garner 349 00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:35,782 from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" 350 00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,609 if I had the discipline to read it. 351 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,829 - Okay. So what's your dirt? 352 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,309 - Terry's only got one testicle. 353 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,789 - So do you. 354 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,181 - That's true, but this isn't about me. 355 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,966 - Jerry's parents are cousins. 356 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,838 - Terry's got an abnormally long ass crack. 357 00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,884 - Jerry's parents aren't cousins--they're siblings. 358 00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:52,712 - Mm, None of these things will break 'em up. 359 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,583 We need something better. [sighs] 360 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:57,412 - Jerry hates milk. - I'm listening. 361 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,240 - And he doesn't like boats. 362 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,590 - Okay, I can work with these things. 363 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,984 - What are you guys doing in my bed? 364 00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:05,376 - We're napping. 365 00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,291 We got tired from donating blood. 366 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,511 Have you donated blood yet? - I have hard-to-find veins. 367 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:11,165 - Go give blood, Mickleberry. - Yes, sir. 368 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:15,299 ♪ ♪ 369 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:17,084 - Ooh. [chuckles] - Wow. 370 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,782 That was scary and exciting. - I know. 371 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:23,394 My heart's racing. - Yeah. Yeah. 372 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,093 - Should we, uh... - Yes. 373 00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:28,095 Now! - Okay. 374 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:29,357 - Right now! 375 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,534 ♪ ♪ 376 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,231 - Oh, sir, when you donate 377 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,972 in the name of the fire department, 378 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:37,844 you receive a free car-seat inspection 379 00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,193 and a smoke detector. 380 00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,848 - Everyone's got a smoke detector, 381 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:45,112 but what everybody doesn't have is a license-plate frame 382 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,375 that prevents cops from pulling you over. 383 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,594 Yeah, you know which way you got to go, pal. 384 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:51,901 [chuckles] 385 00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,294 - You're a foul human being. 386 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,992 - Oh, please. We do so much worse. 387 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:57,951 [laughter] 388 00:12:57,994 --> 00:13:00,301 - This is great. - Hey, fellas. 389 00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,216 Anyone in the mood for some nice cold milk? 390 00:13:02,259 --> 00:13:04,566 - Ooh, always. Thank you. [chuckles] 391 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:08,222 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. 392 00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:10,180 Ahh. Delicious. 393 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,095 Jerry. - No, thanks. 394 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:15,446 - Why not? - Oh, I'm lactose intolerant. 395 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:18,798 I used to love it as a kid, but I don't drink it anymore. 396 00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,408 - [breathes deeply] 397 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,236 You know what? That's okay. Huh? 398 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,368 We'll get through it together. Oh, you know what? 399 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,327 Why don't you get him a glass of oat milk? 400 00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,982 You like oat milk? - Uh, never had it, but sure. 401 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,940 I'd love to try some. - Three glasses of oat milk. 402 00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,463 Get one for yourself. - Ha ha. 403 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:35,031 - Mm-hmm. - [chuckles] 404 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,641 Hey, you want to see my boat again? 405 00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,165 - I would love to. - Let's do it. 406 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,862 - All right, relax, squeeze the ball. 407 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:40,907 - I'm scared. I changed my mind. 408 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,517 - No, no, no, no, no. 409 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,606 Man, it's okay, all right? I'm a pro. 410 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:46,347 - I'm telling you, they can never find my veins. 411 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,044 - I used to do this in the shit. 412 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:49,785 Okay? - You know what-- 413 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,874 - Hey, listen, man, we all made a bet, all right? 414 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,658 Look at me. You got to do your part, too. 415 00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,878 - You made the bet! - We all made the bet! 416 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,445 - Ah! - Relax, bro. 417 00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,100 Look, he's done this in-- - You missed it! 418 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,493 - It's okay, it's fine. - There's no blood! 419 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,931 - It's okay, it's okay. All I have to do is nick it. 420 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,542 - [groans] I thought you were licensed to do this. 421 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,936 [groaning] 422 00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:11,546 - Oh, you know what the problem is? 423 00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,330 I'm so used to explosions and gunfire going off 424 00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:16,594 around me while I do this, so it's just a mental thing. 425 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,509 - [imitating gunfire] Granny, look out! 426 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:19,859 It's a sniper! 427 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:22,078 [imitating gunfire] - That's not it! 428 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,254 - I got it! I got it! - [screams] 429 00:14:24,298 --> 00:14:26,082 - See, you're fine. 430 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:28,302 - I am not getting another tattoo. 431 00:14:28,345 --> 00:14:30,304 Bleed his ass dry. 432 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:32,306 - I'm gonna have to work you a little more, okay? 433 00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:35,265 - [screaming] 434 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:36,527 - Sweet dreams, buddy. 435 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:39,313 - Ah, what up, cookies? 436 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,097 Don't you look "noice"? 437 00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:43,273 Hmm. 438 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,493 [sniffing] 439 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:47,147 Ahh. 440 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,149 - Hey, guys, just baked some fresh cookies 441 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,846 for the chill zone. 442 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,936 - Well, apparently you hate being on a boat with me. 443 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,069 - What are you talking about? 444 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,897 Terry is a nightmare on a boat. 445 00:14:57,940 --> 00:15:00,334 He's got balance. He gets seasick. 446 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:01,857 He can't drive it. 447 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,120 In short, he sucks on the ocean. 448 00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,905 That was taken out of context. 449 00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:08,559 McConky's boat personality is a hideous mix 450 00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:10,561 of arrogance and stupidity. 451 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:11,911 That's the whole quote, yes. 452 00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,651 - If you hate being on a boat with me, 453 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,001 maybe you should sell your half. 454 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,480 - I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? 455 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:17,917 - Maybe you should sell it to Polonsky. 456 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,788 - Maybe I will. - You know, Eddie, 457 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:22,747 real friends--they don't break each other down. 458 00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:25,359 They prop each other up. Right, Jerry? 459 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,143 - Right, Terry. 460 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,929 I will prop you up. 461 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,539 Ha! - [snickers] 462 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,758 - We played you, Penisi. 463 00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:36,370 Apparently you've never read "The Art of War." 464 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,937 - Shit, it's right there 465 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,547 on my nightstand under "Owen Meany." 466 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,549 - Those look delicious. 467 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246 - They should. I baked them myself. 468 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:45,379 - Then fuck you. [cookie thuds] 469 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:48,904 Bye-by-e-e-e. 470 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,647 - That was said in confidence. Why would you "sabatage" me? 471 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,823 - Because I have a bet to win. 472 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:58,479 I'm sowing the seeds of discontent. 473 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,611 [laughs] 474 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:03,223 - Oh. - Oh... 475 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:05,094 - Round three? 476 00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:09,098 - Sorry, I only did the first two for the TPD. 477 00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:10,970 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 478 00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,754 - Am I losing my touch? 479 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,582 [groans softly] 480 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,106 [upbeat rock music] 481 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,934 Mmm, that's delicious. 482 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,937 [sneaky music] 483 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:28,639 ♪ ♪ 484 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,817 - All right, firefighters... 485 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,516 Yeah. [chuckles] 486 00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:37,344 Ooh. 487 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:41,261 [chuckling] 488 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:44,046 - You got it? - [chuckles] Oink, oink. 489 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,656 [both laugh] 490 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,354 You believe it? - No! 491 00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,573 - Whoa! What the hell is this? What are you doing? 492 00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:50,835 - What? What are you talking about? 493 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,446 What are you doing? 494 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,491 - You filled the donor bags with pig blood? 495 00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,406 - Prove it. - What's the matter with you? 496 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,887 - The pigs were already dead! - You're despicable. 497 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,455 - Oh, come on, give me a break. 498 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,892 We do so much worse. - Yeah. 499 00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,025 - Actually, this might be the worst thing 500 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,939 we've ever done. - Give me the bags. 501 00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:10,377 - How about I kick your freakin' ass first? 502 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,248 [Salazar gasps] - You're gonna kick my ass? 503 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,903 - Yeah. - I will murder you, bro. 504 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,905 - [laughs] This guy. - Yeah. 505 00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,516 - [screams] - Awesome. 506 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,692 [Salazar screams] 507 00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:25,479 - [groaning] 508 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,176 - Stay down, Polonsky. 509 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,570 - You're so lucky. 510 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,833 I was about to kick your freakin' ass. 511 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,617 - What the hell's going on in here? 512 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:37,056 - Oh, uh, no. [chuckles] He started it, Chief. 513 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,535 - He's bleeding. 514 00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,276 - Oh, no, that's-- that's pig's blood. 515 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,061 - I told you, we do not call police officers pigs. 516 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:43,714 - No, it's pig's blood. 517 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,238 - I heard the slur the first time, young lady. 518 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:48,241 - No, this is pig's blood. 519 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,069 - Enough with the self-loathing, Junior! 520 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:51,592 Look, I know you don't want to be a cop, 521 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,594 but I will not stand for that kind of talk! 522 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:57,076 Coño! It's fucking pig's blood! 523 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,426 all: Oh. - Hmm. 524 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,471 - What the hell are you doing with pig's blood? 525 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,343 - It doesn't matter! 526 00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,345 I said we should all be friendly, like me and Polonsky! 527 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,390 We can all be friends! - Hey, you guys, it's 6:00. 528 00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:08,957 The contest is over. - What contest? 529 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,264 - Oops. - I said no contests. 530 00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,613 - Sorry, Chief. 531 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,267 Why is that pig covered in blood? 532 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,486 [laughter] 533 00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,057 - Mickleberry, you look like a ghost. 534 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,973 - [mumbling] They made me give blood six times. 535 00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:26,366 - You like nursery rhymes? 536 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,542 - They made me give blood six times. 537 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,283 - You gave blood six times, right? 538 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,372 Yeah, he gave blood six times. Yeah, you did, pal. 539 00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:34,896 You got your six stickers. Isn't that right? 540 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,985 - Have some of the cookie. It'll make you feel better. 541 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:40,249 - [grunting weakly] - This can't be right. 542 00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,512 Uh, okay, everybody, 543 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,253 we've totaled all the donations, 544 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,690 and, believe it or not, it's a tie. 545 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,170 - Bullshit! - What? 546 00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,519 - It is a tie. 547 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,042 - Oh, nobody's asking you, Nurse. 548 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,566 - Hey, cool it. - Okay, you know what? 549 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,655 I'm glad it's a tie, because donating blood 550 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,047 should not be a contest. 551 00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,093 - It is a contest, and guess what-- 552 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,095 you freakin' lost. - We checked it twice. 553 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,098 The TFD came back thanks to the heroic sacrifice 554 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,839 made by Mickleberry. 555 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,623 - You did good, Mick. - Of which I don't approve. 556 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,582 - So the whole contest ended up in a tie. 557 00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,323 Kind of anticlimactic, isn't it? 558 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,890 - Hey, have Jerry and Terry donated? 559 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,284 - Well, not yet, no. - Nope, not yet. 560 00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,330 - I say whoever donates more blood 561 00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,375 between you two is the tiebreaker. 562 00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,595 - Oh, let's do that, Chief. - Yes. 563 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:24,032 - Listen, that sounds like a fun idea, 564 00:19:24,075 --> 00:19:25,990 but we're only allowed to donate one pint each, 565 00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,862 and then it would still be a tie. 566 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:30,691 - Yeah, except his pint would be way bigger than yours. 567 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,083 - Not how pints work. 568 00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,824 - Of course, if we weren't limited 569 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,391 to just one pint, Terry would win. 570 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:36,610 - Okay, I don't know if that's true. 571 00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:38,046 - You know what? 572 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,787 I would love to see a certain someone 573 00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:42,920 get a Tacoma Police Department tattoo on their back. 574 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,053 - And I would love to see Junior 575 00:19:45,096 --> 00:19:48,317 with a TFD tattoo on him. [laughter] 576 00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:51,015 - I can't let you do this. - What are you gonna do, Nurse? 577 00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,409 Call the cops? [laughter] 578 00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,542 - Assholes! Ugh! 579 00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,196 - All right, Granny, you're in charge. 580 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,459 Let's do this. Here we go. - You got this, Captain. 581 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,809 Come on, go, go, go, go! [scattered cheers] 582 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,854 - Hey, this is a great test of our friendship-- 583 00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,334 our first bet. - It sure is. 584 00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:06,640 No hard feelings when it's over. 585 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,163 - No hard feelings. - Good. 586 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,991 'Cause I feel full of blood. 587 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:11,558 - Well, what do you say we up the bet 588 00:20:11,601 --> 00:20:13,081 to include the two of us, then? - Sure. 589 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,910 I mean, after all, redhead blood is thin. 590 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,129 [laughter] 591 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,783 I'm just--I'm just kidding. 592 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,742 - Oh, well, yours is full of cholesterol. 593 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,787 [laughter] 594 00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:25,354 - Easy now, easy now. 595 00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:26,877 We're going to the fat jokes already, huh? 596 00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:28,444 - Hey, you did the redhead joke. 597 00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:31,055 You drew first blood. - It's not really a joke. 598 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:33,188 Look at the bag. Looks like pink lemonade. 599 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,146 - Like fruit punch. [laughter] 600 00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,887 - Well, yours looks like full-on gravy. 601 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:38,237 all: Oh. - Fine. 602 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,369 I guess blood is thicker than friendship. 603 00:20:40,413 --> 00:20:43,372 - Oh, uh, hey, you guys are both at two pints each. 604 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:45,374 - That's all right, Granny, keep going. 605 00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,376 - Ooh-whee! - Oh, boy. 606 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,899 - Chief, you sure? 607 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,553 You really shouldn't go past two pints. 608 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:52,251 - No problem-- I got a reserve pool of blood 609 00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:54,165 in my ankles. - Be careful, Chief. 610 00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:55,906 I can't feel my arms, 611 00:20:55,950 --> 00:20:58,039 and my mouth tastes like pennies. 612 00:20:58,082 --> 00:21:00,128 - Bag me, Junior. - You got it, Pops. 613 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,912 - Game on. - Yeah. 614 00:21:01,956 --> 00:21:03,827 [laughter] - Whew. 615 00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,220 - You sure you don't want to concede? 616 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,526 - You should concede. 617 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,092 You're gonna have a heart attack. 618 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,746 - Hey, soccer sucks. 619 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,270 - Oh! - Oh! 620 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,881 - Boating's for assholes. - Oh! 621 00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:15,926 - And the only reason I became friends with you 622 00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,928 was to get under Penisi's skin. 623 00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:20,017 - The only reason I became friends with you 624 00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:22,150 was 'cause I thought it'd be good PR for the station! 625 00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:25,022 - Ooh-ooh-ooh. - Eddie, squeeze my ankles. 626 00:21:25,066 --> 00:21:27,329 - You got it, Chiefy. - You mean your cankles. 627 00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,809 - Ooh! - Whoa! 628 00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:31,246 - It's working! - Holy shit. 629 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,856 - Oh, it's coming. 630 00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:34,902 - Come on, Dad! Come on! 631 00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:37,034 - Granny, bag me! - Dad, I think we're done. 632 00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:39,602 - No, we're not getting police tattoos today. 633 00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:40,995 Bag me! 634 00:21:41,038 --> 00:21:42,736 - [sighs] - Yeah, bag him! 635 00:21:42,779 --> 00:21:44,303 - You want to know why I'm so strong? 636 00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:45,739 - Tell him, Chief. - Milk. 637 00:21:45,782 --> 00:21:48,307 Milk promotes strong teeth and bones 638 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:49,786 and blood. 639 00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:52,180 - Milk is for kids. - Milk's for kids. 640 00:21:52,223 --> 00:21:53,790 [laughter] 641 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,227 Dad? - I'm so cold. 642 00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:58,142 [groans] both: He's out. 643 00:21:58,186 --> 00:22:01,276 - We're losing him. - Dad, you loser! Wake up! 644 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,147 - This kid just kicked your ass. 645 00:22:03,191 --> 00:22:05,106 - Oh! - Yeah! 646 00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:07,456 Go, Dad. - [gasps] Junior! 647 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:10,111 I never loved you. [sighs] 648 00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:12,766 - [groans softly] - Oh, oh, oh, hey, hey. 649 00:22:12,809 --> 00:22:15,290 Don't worry--I got you, Chiefy, 650 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:18,467 because real friends prop each other up. 651 00:22:18,511 --> 00:22:20,469 - Eddie, I'm sorry. 652 00:22:20,513 --> 00:22:22,776 I shouldn't have made friends with Polonsky--that was stupid. 653 00:22:22,819 --> 00:22:25,779 - And I'm sorry I tried to "sabatage" your friendship. 654 00:22:25,822 --> 00:22:27,346 - It's sabotage. - That's what I'm saying. 655 00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,043 "Sabatage." - It's like sabotage. 656 00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:30,479 It's like Taj Mahal. 657 00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:33,003 - "Taje" Mahal. - It's like Nicki Minaj. 658 00:22:33,047 --> 00:22:34,701 - Nicki "Minage." - Never mind. 659 00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:36,746 I don't have time to make new friends, Eddie. 660 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:38,618 - No one over 40 does. 661 00:22:38,661 --> 00:22:40,663 - [chuckles] Yeah. 662 00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:43,187 No one over 40 should make new friends. 663 00:22:43,231 --> 00:22:46,234 - That's what I said. That's what I said. 664 00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:49,237 [laughter] 665 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,673 - You said it. 666 00:22:50,717 --> 00:22:53,763 [laughter continues] 667 00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:01,249 - Ah, man, this is awesome, Cap. 668 00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,033 When are we gonna get this baby in the water, huh? 669 00:23:03,077 --> 00:23:05,122 - Yeah, Cap, we need an A-shift fishing trip. 670 00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:07,168 - I love how everyone calls me Cap. 671 00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:08,648 - Well, that's 'cause you're the captain. 672 00:23:08,691 --> 00:23:10,432 - I am the captain. Thank you, Lucy. 673 00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:12,347 She knows. - That's okay, little buddy. 674 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,827 You guys can just call me Skipper. 675 00:23:13,870 --> 00:23:16,438 - Okay, Skipper. [laughter] 676 00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:18,875 - Bad news, gang. - What? 677 00:23:18,919 --> 00:23:20,137 - Turns out we didn't win the bet. 678 00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:21,487 - What? How's that possible? 679 00:23:21,530 --> 00:23:22,879 - Got the results right here. 680 00:23:22,923 --> 00:23:24,315 There was an issue with the blood. 681 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,274 - Thanks a lot, Eddie. You messed it up. 682 00:23:26,317 --> 00:23:28,755 - Wha--Hey! I didn't do anything, Skipper. 683 00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,409 - It says here that one of the donations 684 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:33,455 from this TFD crew was disqualified by the lab, 685 00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:35,588 which puts us a pint behind the cops. 686 00:23:35,631 --> 00:23:38,068 - Ha ha. Well, at least they already got their tattoos. 687 00:23:38,112 --> 00:23:39,243 - What was wrong with the blood? 688 00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,419 - Was it steroids? - Nope. 689 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:42,029 - Xanies? - Nope. 690 00:23:42,072 --> 00:23:43,900 - Prototype for the male pill? - Nah. 691 00:23:43,944 --> 00:23:46,120 - Extra-strength Cholestofix? - Nope. 692 00:23:46,163 --> 00:23:49,253 According to this, one of us... 693 00:23:49,297 --> 00:23:52,039 is pregnant. 694 00:23:52,082 --> 00:23:54,171 - Oh, shit. - Oh, shit. 695 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:56,260 - Oh, shit. 696 00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:58,045 Wait, who? 697 00:23:58,088 --> 00:23:59,220 Oh, sorry. 698 00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:02,266 - Um, congratulations. 699 00:24:02,310 --> 00:24:04,312 Oh. - [huffs angrily] 700 00:24:04,355 --> 00:24:07,010 - [chuckles awkwardly] 51102

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