All language subtitles for T S01E08 Tabithas Triangle 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

MALE NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,

there was a little girl
named Tabitha.

She and her family lived
in a typical American home.

There was a mother,
Samantha...

[ZAPS]

...a father, Darren,

[ZAPS]
Little Tabitha,

and her brother, Adam.

As Tabitha grew older,

her parents discovered
that she was a gifted child.

Book.

Quite gifted.

But wisely,

they didn't pay
a lot of attention to that.

And Tabitha grew up
just right,

with pigtails and freckles,

just like any other
typical American girl.

[ZAPS]

Uh, almost.

♪ Some people got it ♪

♪ Some people don't ♪

♪ You'll never know
Until you try ♪

♪ You never know, baby
You can fly ♪

♪ If you try ♪

♪ It could be magic ♪

♪ The way I feel ♪

♪ It could be magic ♪

♪ But it feels so real ♪

♪ It could be magic ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Well, it could be magic ♪

♪ It could be magic ♪

And it's true
that three weeks ago

you were for the project,

and now you're against it.

Three weeks ago, the expenses
were to be shared equally

by the federal
and the state governments.

Just answer my question,
Mr. Bingham,

I asked you
in plain English.

And I answered you
in plain English.

Well, it sounds like
the same old

political double talk
to me, folks.

We've head it before,
we'll hear it again.

Paul's really out to get
this guy you booked

for some reason.

I don't know why.

But Ted Bingham
sure is cute.

Certain things are
never gonna get any better

in spite of who's
in office.

Heh, you're kidding.

How about that, folks?

A candidate who doesn't care
who wins the election.

I better get out there.

It sounds a little
irresponsible to me

considering the way
you've been campaigning.

You don't understand
what I'm saying, Mr. Thurston?

[CHUCKLES]
I don't understand

any politician, Mr.
Bingham.

Well, folks--
It's a good thing

I'm here then, isn't it?

Since I'm out
to fight ignorance

wherever I find it.
Ouch.

I hope Paul doesn't
stand up too quick,

his head'll roll off.

Well, I'm certainly glad
that my state's senator

doesn't share your views.

Who is
your state's senator?

Uh, never mind.
[MUFFLER CLANGING]

Well, that's all for
The Paul Thurston Show.

Brought to you tonight
by Morty the Muffler Man.

Remember Morty's advice
to Thurston fans:

Don't run noisy,
run smart.

Good advice for Thurston, too.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Mr. Bingham,
we want to thank you

for being on this show.
It was my pleasure.

Anyway, how can I refuse
an invitation

from somebody as charming
as your sister.

Oh, well, thank you
Mr. Bingham.

Ted. Call me Ted.
Call me Tabitha.

[MIMICKING]
"Call me Ted, call me Tabitha".

Call me a cab.

I've gotta catch a flight.

Could you call me a cab?

I'd be glad to drive you.

Hey, terrific.

You know something?
I am starved.

Me, too.

Oh, sometimes,
a bunch of us go down

to an all-night joint
on the pier

and get fish on a stick.
You know the thing is,

I'm not sure I can make it
before my plane leaves.

What time
is your flight?

I think it's
around 9:00.

Let me check,
just to be sure.

Hey, heh.

What do you know?
It says midnight.

I wonder how
that happened.

Oh, must've been
a computer error.

Great. What'll it be?
Steak or lobster?

I'll just go on home

and make myself
a boloney sandwich.

[♪♪♪]

You're all
out of milk.

We gotta eat
these cookies dry.

Minerva.

I swear I'm gonna
have to hang

a bell around your neck.

What happened
to your cute senator?

He's such a busybody.

He flew off to San Francisco.

He is adorable.

For a mortal.

You like him, huh?
Yeah, I do like him.

I'd like to know him
better, though.

What about Paul Thurston?

I like him, too.

And I know him
only too well.

Right now, he's probably
out on the town

with a girl's drill team.

Not when I tuned in
his apartment.

He was crying
into a baloney sandwich.

He's got nothing
to be jealous about.

Look, we gotta
get some milk before

I slip into
terminal crumb mouth.

Oh, we'll zap some in.
A quart of low fat.

Okay.

Minerva,
what's the big idea?

I can make him tap-dance
if you're out of butter.

Don't worry.
He thinks he's dreaming.

Oh, Tabitha, gee.

I always wanted to be
in a dream with you.

Alone. Hit the road,
toots.

[LAUGHS]
Dream on, buster.

I wouldn't miss this
for anything.

This is my dream.

I want to have it
my own way.

I didn't see you
last night

when I brought pizza
to Raquel Welch.

Oh, I thought
your show tonight

was just super.

And Ted Bingham,
he was just super, too.

Yeah, Ted Bingham.
Super phony.

Paul, how can you say that?

Easy. Super phony.
Like that.

I think Ted's a charming,
witty, dynamic--

Girl chaser,
sleazy dinner-date maker,

cute production assistant
picker-upper.

Bingo. Jealousy rears
it's handsome head.

I don't like this dream.

Is there a pizza joint
open around here somewhere?

Wait a minute.
Are you jealous

because I had dinner
with Ted?

[JEERS]

Of course not.
I don't care about that.

Hm. Well, uh,
I gotta fly.

I always fly in my dreams.
It's so much fun.

Uh, Minerva, stop him!

Oh, all right.

Oh, Tabitha,
isn't this fun?

You have a potential president
of the United States

crazy about you,
and a TV star

ready to leap off
your balcony.

I've had enough
for one night.

Do you mind
if I go to bed?

You want me
to zap myself out

and leave Paul here, huh?

Minerva, goodnight.

Ah, wow, that was great.

You see me doin'
the loop-the-loops

over the Hollywood Bowl?

Oh, you were terrific.

And, uh, thank you
for the milk.

Oh, yeah. You know I wonder
how I knew you wanted milk.

Well, I guess I'm just
really a sensitive guy.

Even when I'm sleeping.

[CHUCKLES]

[SNORING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello.

Ted.

But you went to
San Francisco. I saw you.

Right. Oh, yeah, they
even have telephones here.

Yes, it's a very
progressive city.

I just wanted
to say to you that

spending this evening with you

has been one of the most
important things

that's ever happened to me.

But, Ted, we only went
to dinner.

I mean, all I had was a salad.

Look, I'm coming back
to town tomorrow.

Wanna spend the whole weekend
with you, all right?

You do?

What would
your constituents say?

And my neighbors?

[LAUGHS]
No, I mean,

I've got a campaign.

I want you there with me.

What do you say, Tabitha?
Are you busy this weekend?

It certainly sounds like it.

And so, ladies,
as a boy of 10,

I learned my first lesson
in politics.

Having a pie
and eating it, too,

can give a guy
a stomach ache.

Thank you.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Thank you.

Thank you, well,
will you vote for me?

[ALL LAUGHING]

Great. Thank you.
Thanks very much.

Excuse me. Thank you.

[WHISPERS]
How was I?

You were very sincere.

Great. Well, I'm wearing
my sincerest necktie.

ELDERLY WOMAN:
Mr. Bingham?

Yeah.

Mr. Bingham, I enjoyed
your talk very much.

Well, thank you very much.
I hope you'll vote for me.

Oh, I never vote.
I just come here

for the pinwheel sandwiches.

You never vote?
No.

Oh, that's terrible.
Don't you realize

it's a privilege
to cast your ballot?

Not since Mr. Dewey died,
it isn't.

I wouldn't give you
two cents

for some of the fellows
they have in office now.

Oh, well, then it's your fault
they're in office.

You should vote 'em out

and--and vote
some good ones in.

Well, perhaps you're right,
young lady.

Perhaps I'll start
with Mr. Bingham here.

It's a great little
vote-getter

you've married there,
Mr. Bingham.

[LAUGHS]
Well, we're not married.

[GIGGLES]
You little devils!

Oh, no, ma'am,
you--you don't understand.

Oh, of course I do.

Oh, you young people
these days.

[GIGGLES]

How do you like that?

Two hours with me, and you're
involved in a sex scandal.

Great. It's good
for my stodgy image.

Hey, thanks for the vote.

Sure. Hey, would you like
a pinwheel sandwich?

I have a better idea,
Tabitha.

How would you like
to be married

to the president
of the United States

and be First Lady?

Uh, well, I--I have
a feeling that

the first lady that's already
married to the president

wouldn't like that too much.

Well, I'm making
long-range plans.

You don't have to decide now.

We've got the whole weekend.

Where are we going?

This afternoon we're opening

a legal aid center,

closing a rescue mission,

and dedicating a taco stand.

Even us world savers have
to eat sometime, you know?

Plus, you have to think
about my offer.

[MOTOR REVVING]

Gosh, I hope
you're Marlon Brando.

Suffering brimstone.

The two of you were hard
to keep up with this weekend.

I'm exhausted.

You're exhausted?

I can't wait to go
back to work

so I can get some rest.

Ted Bingham is
the most intense man

I've ever been with.

He never stops campaigning.

Oh, you care to tell me
about some of his, uh,

proposals?

Well, he did ask me to come up
to San Francisco next weekend.

To help him campaign.

Ooh, how racy!

Late night strategy sessions

at his smoky hotel room.

Separate smoky hotel rooms.

Oh, the fun's out of politics
since Watergate.

What else?

Well,

he's asked me if I want
to be his first lady.

Oh, is this, uh, Teddy boy
serious about you?

I don't know.

But I'd sure like to find out

before I get
too serious about him.

Well, there is one way
to find out.

Minerva, the last time
you had that look in your eye,

you turned a highway patrolman
into a hamster.

What do you have in mind?

The truth spell.

If I can just remember
how to do it.

Do me a favor, don't.

There's an old book
some place.

Minerva!

Find it, Spirit.

Help me look.

I need a spell
that's in that book.

[WIND WHOOSHING]

Do you mind?

Bring it here
to help me do

the magic that makes
all words true.

Minerva, I'm not going
to use a truth spell

in a love affair.

It'd be taking
unfair advantage.

It's like eavesdropping
or snooping.

Exactly.

Only, much more effective.

[♪♪♪]

Uh, Tabitha, Adam,
I've been waiting for you.

We've got a lot of work to do
before tonight's show.

On-air promos. And maybe
a new program listing

in the afternoon papers.

Tonight? It's been booked
for weeks, Marvin.

Charo and the Amazing Kreskin
are gonna debate tuna fishing.

Uh-uh. Cancelled.

Management took a look
at that Ted Bingham tape

and told us
to re-book him quick.

He'll be back on tonight.

Who gets to tell Charo?
Okay, Adam, go ahead.

I need Tabitha to
stick close to Ted Bingham.

Why don't I tell Charo,

and let Adam
be Bingham's groupie?

Management suggests
that you spend a little time

boning up on
the issues, Paul.

Oh, don't worry
about me, Marv,

I've done some pretty
deep checking

into this Bingham character.
I've got all the bones I need.

I'll bet you found out

about that box of chalk
I stole in 3rd grade.

Ted, I didn't know
you were here.

Marvin called this morning
at the crack of dawn.

So I got right back
on the plane.

Look, uh, we've all got
a lot of work to do,

so could we just
do it, please?

Great thinking.

Come on, Adam, let's go
check those promos.

Listen, I really have
to fly out right after the show.

Why don't we plan
to have dinner before?

Okay, but, uh,
under two conditions.

Yeah.

First, you come to my place.

Sold.

And 2nd, Paul comes, too.

Oh no, no, no.
Don't plan on me.

I've got a lot of
left over baloney.

We always go over
the research and format

just before air time, Paul.

This way, we'll be
all together

and we can do it then.

Oh, no need for that.

I've got the show
all mapped out already.

Are you coming
to dinner or not?

What're you having?
Come early and be surprised.

Oh, I'll be there,
but the surprise comes later.

[♪♪♪]

Is it on the right?
No, on the left.

Thanks, Minerva,
but I'll do it myself.

I had to make sure
the table setting was correct.

Glasses go on the right.

Is it okay now?

Not quite.

Minerva, I just had
a crazy inspiration.

Why don't you
stay for dinner?

Oh, thank you, honey.

How sweet of you
to invite me.

And on such
short notice too.

If you, uh, look in the oven,

you'll find a casserole
I brought.

Your spinach casserole?

Yes.
Oh.

You always said
it was your favorite.

Didn't you always say that?

Yeah, I did.
Thanks, Aunt Minerva.

Hey, what's with
the one flower?

It's charmed.

All you have to do
is touch that flower

to some personal object
that belongs to Ted,

like, his watch,

and then he tells the truth.

Minerva, no magic spells.
Do you mind?

Terribly.

But I'll stay, anyway.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hi.
Hi.

I'm early.

No, not really.

Guess you're
just being polite.

I am 11 minutes early.
It's a failing of mine.

Ted, this is
my Aunt Minerva.

Charmed.

Heh.
Hopefully before dessert.

For you.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, I--

Excuse me.

Hi, Tab. Hi.
Hi.

Oh, are you putting
your flowers in there?

Yeah, it's okay, isn't it?
It's okay with me.

Well, then I'll just put
mine in there too, huh?

Coming through.

Ooh.
Mm.

Where did all those
lousy flowers come from?

Oh, uh, Ted and Paul
brought them over.

Aren't they pretty?

How thoughtful of
you nice boys.

Uh, why don't
we sit down?

Yeah, eat up, folks.
Show time's soon.

Well, you certainly seem
loaded for bear tonight, Paul.

Just wait till
I get you on camera.

Fine. I can't wait.

W-Why don't we keep
track of the time?

Does anybody have a watch?

Ah, I've got one
right here.

-[METALLIC RUSTLING]
-Here you are.

Oh, look, Tabitha.

A watch. Oh, isn't
that lovely?

It's an heirloom that belonged
to my grandfather,

and what are you doing?

Oh, I just wanted to see it
against the carnations.

I think it's
absolutely charming.

PAUL:
That's not such a hot watch.

You ever see one of these?

It, uh, gives you
digital time

and the temperature
in Fahrenheit and Acapulco.

Oh, Paul!

Uh...

Well...

[TINKLING]

Oh, I only bought the watch
to impress people.

It's part
of my basic insecurity.

Uh, Minerva, why don't you
help me get the casserole?

Oh, excuse me.

Sure.

PAUL:
You know something,

dinner was really...

Now look what you've done.

Your arrow hit
the wrong target.

Maybe not.
Maybe they're both hexed.

How long does it last?

Book didn't say.

They've got
Paul's show to do.

They might make
television history.

Grab the wine.

PAUL:
...so when I flunked

out of Little League,

I began to realize
how inadequate I was.

Oh, hi, girls. Did you know
I had a deformed big toe?

Ted, uh, wh-why don't you,
uh, taste the wine?

Sure. I'm no expert though.

Well, last night
in the restaurant,

you sent a bottle back

because you said
it was the wrong year.

Well, to tell you
the truth, Tabitha,

I was trying to impress you,
that's all.

I see.

Is that what you've been
trying to do all weekend?

Impress me?
I hope so.

Oh, well, do you try to
impress every girl you meet?

Mm, girls, boys,
senior citizens.

Wherever there's a vote.

This wine is okay,
but I really prefer root beer.

Did you know
all these teeth are capped?

Um, let me try.

Well, boys,

how do you like
my famous spinach casserole?

Mm. Minerva...

it is really good.
It is excellent.

This is the worst thing
I ever tasted in my life.

Do you mind taking
a powder to the powder room?

Why, you afraid
to go alone?

Get going.

Well, I hope you're happy.

They're both under
that dumb truth spell.

Yeah, isn't it fun?

Minerva, in half an hour,
honest Paul

and truthful Ted
are going on television--

speaking nothing
but the painful truth.

Isn't that what mortals
are supposed to do?

Yeah, I guess, you're right.

Even the politicians.

I just hope it doesn't
wreck Ted's career.

Uh, fellas, we got about
a minute before air time.

Paul, Marv.

Can I talk to you about
that raise you promised me?

Sure, I was
thinkin' about that

on the way to work
this morning.

You certainly
deserve one.

Paul, can I borrow
your watch?

I gotta time a commercial.

Well, be careful, Marv.

And we'll talk about
the raise after the show.

-[TINKLING]
-A raise? Are you kidding?

On the way to work
I was thinkin' about

how much money you make.
You're overpaid as it is.

Hey, Marv.

Oh, here. Thank you, Paul.

Well, sure.

Well, forget about
the raise.

Not on your life.
We'll talk about it later.

Marv, you just said
I was overpaid.

Adam, I'm under pressure.
I don't know why I said that.

Why did I say that?

Oh, I'm ready, but you look
a little nervous, Paul.

Nervous?

[LAUGHS]
Why should I be nervous?

Just because I'm $300
overdrawn on my bank account

and my socks don't match.
No reason to be nervous.

Good evening,
this is Paul Thurston,

and my guest tonight
making a 2nd appearance

and probably his last,
is Theodore "Ted" Bingham,

the candidate
for state senate.

Welcome back, Ted.

Thank you, Paul.
Glad to be back.

Well, you won't
for long. Heh.

Ted, I've dug
something up from your past

that you're not gonna be
too happy about.

What can that be?

That said, is it true
or is it not true

that your uncle
is Fred Bas Fender,

who is currently serving
a 10-year prison sentence

for tax evasion?

Uh, that's true.

Well, uh, this one's going to
be a little more embarrassing.

Aren't you using
Uncle Fred's tainted money

to finance your race
for state senate?

Uh, yeah, I'm using his money,
but it's not tainted.

I mean, he earned it honestly,

long before his tax problems
landed him in jail.

Uh, you mean, you're not
going to deny it?

Why? It's the truth.

[LAUGHS]

Gee, folks, uh,
an honest politician.

I don't know, for some strange
reason, I feel honest myself.

Do you know my sister
hasn't spoken to me

in over three years?

Just because I wouldn't
lend 700 bucks

to her deadbeat husband?
He said it was important.

Would you call a long shot
at the race track important?

Ted, you were
really terrific.

I just hope all your honesty
doesn't cost you votes.

Oh, don't worry, I hear that
honesty in politics

is the coming thing.

Uh, listen, can we go
somewhere private and talk?

Oh, well, sure.
We can use Paul's office.

Great.

Marv--

I don't wanna
talk about it.

First of all,

I would like to say that
you really look great tonight.

Oh, thanks.
You do, too.

You know, I was honest
with Paul on the air.

And now I wanna be totally
honest with you

about our relationship.

That's what I thought.

I didn't think it was time
to say these things before

because we were just getting
to know each other.

But now, it's serious.

I feel that way, too.

Good.

This is something
I wanted to say to you

since the first time
I met you.

Those tight slacks
have to go.

What?

Not that you
don't look great in 'em,

but people expect
the wife of a state senator

to dress a little more
conservatively, maturely.

Oh, Ted, I wasn't planning
on wearing them

to the state functions.

Oh, I know.

Your hair.
What about my hair?

Well, truthfully,
it's a little too sexy

and immature
for the average voter.

Well, then why don't
I just give it a blue rinse

and put it up in a bun?
[DRY CHUCKLE]

Just take it easy, Tabitha,
I was only being honest.

Oh, that's right.

I almost forgot.

Well, as long as you're
being so honest,

is there anything else?

Yes, Tabitha, your job.

Oh, is that also
too sexy and immature?

No, it's fine, it's just,

I'd like you to quit.

Quit?

We've got to spend
more time together.

We've got to get me elected.

After all, it is
our future, you know?

Oh, right.

I am a dandy little
vote-getter.

I know this sounds
pretty blunt.

Oh, no. No more than
your average battering ram.

But I understand why.

You're really not yourself.
Yeah, that's true.

I guess it must be
this hectic schedule I'm on.

Look, I know I gave you
a lot to think about.

I'll call you
early next week, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

Tabitha.

I've got something
to tell you.

Oh, Minerva, you
and your stupid truth spell.

It made me see
a side of Ted

that I never should
have seen.

But, Tabitha--

And who needs
all that truth, anyway?

You know, he was
practically insulting.

Well, it's wasn't my fault.

Oh, it was your spell
that backfired.

No, it wasn't.

Ted forgot his watch
in your apartment.

He wasn't under
the truth spell at all.

Oh, you mean, that's
the way he really is?

I'm afraid so.
Oh.

What you gonna do
when he calls?

I don't know.
Just have to tell him

I have some good news
and some bad news.

Oh, I know the bad news.
You're gonna dump him.

What's the good news?

He's got my vote.

So, how'd you like
the show tonight?

You want an honest answer?
I loved it.

You know, I just realized
why I went after that guy.

Why?

I was jealous 'cause
he was after you.

Oh, well, thanks, Paul.

I really needed
that compliment.

What, do you need
a compliment

the way you fill out
those slacks?

And that sexy blond hair.

You don't think it's, uh,
maybe, immature, do you?

What, are you crazy?
It's perfect. It's you.

And you really think
it's sexy, huh?

Would I lie to you?

♪ It could be magic ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ It could be magic ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ Make me cry ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah, honey ♪

♪ I'm sure gonna try ♪

♪ Oh, it could be magic ♪