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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:06,876 [Ingmar] Hollywood. Some people don'’t like it, 2 00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:09,618 because they think everything'’s fake, 3 00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,402 but I never had a problem with that. 4 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,970 I couldn'’t-- I was a stuntman, 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,191 and my job was to make fake look real. 6 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,106 [motor revving] 7 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:20,194 Okay, Ingmar. 8 00:00:20,237 --> 00:00:21,456 [Ingmar] Right on! 9 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,631 How does it look? 10 00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,676 Let'’s rock 'n'’ roll! 11 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,289 Yeah. Get some! 12 00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,422 I'’m gonna show them this is how real action'’s done. 13 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:34,121 -B camera slate! -Back! Get back! We'’re about to start! 14 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:38,255 Unfortunately, there are times when fake becomes real. 15 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,822 Too real. 16 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,042 And action! 17 00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:45,697 [tires squeal] 18 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:46,742 [crashing] 19 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:48,396 [Ingmar] No! No! 20 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:53,053 -[siren wailing] -[shouting] 21 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:59,407 [car revving on video] 22 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,764 [in Swedish] 23 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:38,446 Hey! Don'’t you ever use the "C" word on me, 24 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:40,665 ever again, you understand? 25 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:43,103 Are you the dicks? 26 00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:48,456 We sure are. Um... and you... 27 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:51,111 must be Taylor Slow. 28 00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:53,504 That would be correct, sir. 29 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,941 I'’m-- I'm sorry, this may sound crazy, 30 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,900 but I feel like I know you, 31 00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,728 like we'’ve met before? 32 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,122 Maybe in a past life 33 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,645 or some sort of spiritual plane. 34 00:02:03,688 --> 00:02:06,865 I make porn. That'’s probably where you'’ve seen me. 35 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,738 Oh, right! Yes. 36 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,740 Oh, I'’m sorry, I didn'’t recognize you 37 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,872 with your... clothes on. 38 00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,788 [chuckles] So, how can we help you? 39 00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:20,618 Well, someone is stalking me, and I'’d like you to find them 40 00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,838 so I can legally ask them to stop. 41 00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,535 Consider it done. 42 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:27,016 Great. Your competitor, 43 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,410 uh, Jane McKinney, said it would take days. 44 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:30,976 -Jane who? -[knocking] 45 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:35,198 Oh, my God! Taylor? Taylor Slow? 46 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:38,114 Taylor Slow, is that really you? 47 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,638 -Yeah. -[laughs] Ohh! 48 00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,728 Oh! Oh... 49 00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:46,209 I thought so! I'’m a huge fan! 50 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,123 Wow, thanks. 51 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,864 You'’re so beautiful. 52 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,126 Can we take a picture? 53 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,475 -Sure. -Your selfie. 54 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,868 Give me phone. 55 00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:55,653 Sun, can you leave us alone for a moment? 56 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:57,133 Give me phone now! 57 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:59,004 -Your telephone? -Oh, yeah. 58 00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,093 We take a picture. 59 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:03,313 ♪ 60 00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:38,653 Okay, Dad, you know how I'’ve always had a problem committing in relationships? 61 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:39,871 Yeah, yeah. 62 00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,787 Well, I think that might be changing, 63 00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:45,007 because I think I'’ve found somebody 64 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:48,619 that I can actually connect with, you know? 65 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:53,189 His name'’s Steve, and, well, I really like hanging out with him. 66 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,843 Okay, so what'’s the problem? 67 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,324 The problem is that... 68 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,284 he just kind of seems too good to be true. 69 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,981 -So... -Yes? 70 00:04:03,025 --> 00:04:07,638 I... I want you to do, 71 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:09,074 just, like, a small, 72 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,990 like a small background check on him. 73 00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:18,170 I'’ll see what I can dig up on him. 74 00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,999 Thanks for coming to me with this. 75 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,392 Means a lot. 76 00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,786 Yeah, and those guys at McKinney would'’ve 77 00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,788 charged me a fortune, so... Ugh. 78 00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,616 All right, thanks, Dad! Bye! 79 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:34,448 McKinney? You talked to McKinney? 80 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,582 I usually hated it when someone 81 00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:41,193 mentioned Jane McKinney'’s name, 82 00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:45,589 but this time it actually gave me an idea. 83 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,377 Oh! Oh, my God! 84 00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,640 What'’s that disgusting smell? 85 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:53,945 Piss of bird. 86 00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,947 Piss of bird? 87 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,906 Do birds actually pee? 88 00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,169 Yes! In their poop. 89 00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:03,085 W-Why are you spreading it over the office? 90 00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,478 -Move! Move! -No-- 91 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,479 Yeah, go. 92 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,918 It'’s ancient North Korean remedy 93 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,441 to get rid of bad spirit. 94 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,878 You'’re saying there's a bad spirit in there? 95 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:16,098 Yes! I was there earlier, 96 00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:19,275 and felt bad spirit... 97 00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,149 surging through my body... 98 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:28,806 almost bringing me to fully body orgasm! 99 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:32,332 [gasping] 100 00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,161 [gasps] 101 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,468 [gasps] 102 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,252 [gasps] 103 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:46,084 That'’s when I seek remedy 104 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,043 and look for piss of bird. 105 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,656 I think spirit come from past, 106 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,136 Ingmar'’s past. 107 00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,791 Well, you know what? 108 00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,923 I'’ve been forcing Ingmar to look back on his past. 109 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,795 Not good to mess with past. 110 00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:02,144 Oh, I disagree. 111 00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:03,624 Ingmar needs closure. 112 00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:07,149 Oh, like a female character on Sex and the Shitty. 113 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,325 It'’s "City," not "Shitty." 114 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,980 Are you sure? Seems shitty to me. 115 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,416 Okay, listen. 116 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,287 Ingmar wants me to go over to McKinney'’s office 117 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,464 -and pretend to want to work for them. -Why? 118 00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,248 So I can steal some codes they have 119 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,989 that will help us triangulate and locate 120 00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,295 whoever'’s been stalking Ms. Slow, so... 121 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,341 do you have any advice on how I can fool them 122 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,604 into believing I really want to work for them? 123 00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:30,433 -Ow! -[dings] 124 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:38,528 Tell McKinney Ingmar abused you. 125 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,661 Here and here. 126 00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:41,618 [dings] 127 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,717 [moaning] 128 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,460 [cell phone ringing] 129 00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,332 -No. -No, it might be work. 130 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:03,118 Oh, yeah, it'’s work. Sorry. 131 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:04,859 Hey, work, what'’s up? 132 00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,035 Is he with you? 133 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,298 That would be an affirmative. 134 00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,082 I have some bad news, 135 00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:13,041 so maybe we should talk later. 136 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,390 No, now'’s a perfect time. 137 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,698 Okay. Steve'’s married. 138 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,570 What? Are you sure? 139 00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:23,094 Yeah. Yeah. 140 00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,966 Hold on a second, work. 141 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,185 [groans] 142 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,926 [gasping] 143 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,493 Sarah, get back on the phone. 144 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,714 -What? -Well, I'’m sorry, I lied. 145 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:34,932 Wait, what? 146 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,544 Steve is not married. 147 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:40,329 You'’re fired. I'’m calling McKinney. 148 00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:41,939 Why did you hit me in the nuts? 149 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,289 I'’m sorry. Are you okay? 150 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:49,207 No. Will you kiss it and make it feel better? 151 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:54,865 -What? -Actually, I would love to do that. 152 00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,693 Oh, no, no, no, no. 153 00:07:56,737 --> 00:07:58,869 No, no, no, no, no. 154 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:00,871 Sarah? No! 155 00:08:00,915 --> 00:08:04,135 [sighs] 156 00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:06,355 [cell phone rings] 157 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,097 There are much, much better ways to apologize 158 00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:12,100 than to give somebody oral sex. 159 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:13,797 Excuse me? 160 00:08:13,841 --> 00:08:17,627 Oh! Hello, Ms. Slow! 161 00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:21,283 I'’m sorry, those last words were meant for my daughter. 162 00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,590 How can I help you? 163 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:27,681 I was just wondering if you'’ve made any progress with my stalker. 164 00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:32,294 Oh, yeah. My associate is working on the case as we speak. 165 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:34,905 So, let me get this straight. 166 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:39,649 You want to leave Ingmar and come and play with the big dogs? 167 00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:41,433 That'’s right. 168 00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:42,957 Then let'’s hear it. 169 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,785 Excuse me? 170 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:48,223 Howl. Like a big dog. 171 00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,792 Go ahead. Do it. 172 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,968 [chuckles] 173 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,972 Oh. [howls] 174 00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,540 Sounds like a neutered puppy. 175 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,978 [chuckles] Well, yeah, sure, I... 176 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:07,503 [howls] 177 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,897 No, fuck, I can... Sorry, go deeper. 178 00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:14,597 [growling] 179 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,210 I need mad dog. 180 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:22,736 [growling] 181 00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,828 Now you'’re howling like a big dog. 182 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:30,178 I'’m quite happy with that last one. 183 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,833 I could see you working here. 184 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,617 Really? 185 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:38,099 We could use some more female energy around the place. 186 00:09:38,142 --> 00:09:40,841 Well, great. 187 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:46,368 I'’d love to have a quick tour around the office. 188 00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:48,370 You playing me? 189 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,895 No! No, of course not. 190 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:55,595 The only thing I'’m playing is with the big dogs. 191 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,730 Woof! 192 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,215 [phone ringing] 193 00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:10,218 [phone ringing] 194 00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:14,265 [in Swedish] 195 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,758 To establish a baseline, 196 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,499 we'’ll begin by asking questions we know to be true. 197 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,632 What'’s your name? 198 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,375 My name is ack! Axel. 199 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,467 [beeping] 200 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:27,991 Were you born in Sweden? 201 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,169 Oh, yes. 202 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:35,216 [beeping] 203 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,871 Do you want to work for Jane McKinney? 204 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,091 Yes. 205 00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,702 This is a farce. 206 00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:45,182 It'’s obvious he's trying to trick the machine 207 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,358 by putting a thumbtack in his shoe. 208 00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:48,969 No, oh, that'’s a lie. 209 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,100 [beeping] 210 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,754 Do you have a thumbtack 211 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:52,712 in your shoe? 212 00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,496 -[strained] No. -Enough. 213 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,759 Take the thumbtack out of your shoe. 214 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,327 -What thumbtack? -This thumbtack. 215 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:02,330 Ow! Ow! Aah! 216 00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:05,420 -[beeping] -[groaning] 217 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:08,379 [Ingmar] Lucky for Axel, he had the smarts 218 00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,207 to come up with a backup plan. 219 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:14,081 [groaning] 220 00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,696 Get off my foot! 221 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,742 -[computer beeps] -[continued groans] 222 00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,961 Hey, what do you think you'’re doing? 223 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:28,138 Luckily for Sun, she also had a backup plan. 224 00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,444 Aah... 225 00:12:29,487 --> 00:12:30,532 [whoosh] 226 00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:35,580 -[screaming] -[screaming] 227 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,635 [phone ringing] 228 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,859 -Hey. -Hey, how'’s the background check going? 229 00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:54,164 Working on it. 230 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,732 I'’m in his home as we speak. 231 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,473 Wait, what? You'’re in his house? 232 00:12:58,516 --> 00:12:59,691 Well, you wanted me 233 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,911 to do a proper background check, right? 234 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:04,871 Yes, meaning you would do some light surveillance 235 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,916 and a lot of online checking to make sure 236 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,223 he is who he says he is, not break into his house. 237 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,877 I want you out of there now! 238 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,880 -[door squeaking] -I can'’t. 239 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:15,055 Why not? 240 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,755 Because he just got back home. 241 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,062 -What? -Gotta hang up. 242 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,063 [beep] 243 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,112 Hi! 244 00:13:32,115 --> 00:13:34,074 You'’re Ingmar. 245 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:36,337 Sarah'’s father, right? 246 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,339 Right! That'’s me. 247 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:41,298 What are you doing in my house? 248 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,518 Wait, let me guess. 249 00:13:43,561 --> 00:13:45,694 Your wonderful and beautiful daughter 250 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,870 asked you to do a background check on me. 251 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:51,047 Yes, but not because she thought 252 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,093 that there was something wrong with you. 253 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:56,879 The opposite. She thought, yeah, you were too good to be true. 254 00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:00,143 [chuckles] 255 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,629 Now, let me see what I can do. 256 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,153 Done. I found address. 257 00:14:10,197 --> 00:14:11,763 It'’s a motel. 258 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,029 Oh, good. 259 00:14:16,072 --> 00:14:18,292 Yeah. Right. 260 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,989 Good teamwork. 261 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,731 She really said that, 262 00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:25,038 that I was too good to be true? 263 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,996 Word for word. 264 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,998 That is so funny. 265 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,479 I felt the exact same way about Sarah. 266 00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:34,569 That'’s why I had somebody do a background check on her. 267 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,919 That'’s how I know who you are. 268 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,616 No! 269 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,662 -Yes. -Yes. 270 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,316 Isn'’t that funny? 271 00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:45,841 That is actually very funny. 272 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,147 -Cheers. -Oh, yes. 273 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,670 Hey, I'’ll tell you what. 274 00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:51,978 You'’re here to see who I am, so take a look around. 275 00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:55,503 Just don'’t go in the cellar. I got somebody tied up in there. 276 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,158 [laughs] 277 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:01,117 You'’re funny! 278 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,206 [laughter on recording] 279 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,991 Wait, wait, wait. 280 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:07,602 [laughing] 281 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:08,908 I love it! 282 00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,997 Why would you film yourself laughing? 283 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,043 It just felt like the right thing to do. 284 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,088 I mean... 285 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,133 It feels like the weird thing to do. 286 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:18,569 It'’s just funny! 287 00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:21,442 Come on, Axel, I know, I know. 288 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,705 I can be rough around the edges. 289 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:27,709 I mean, but let me tell you, I'’m impressed. 290 00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:31,365 I mean, you put yourself through a lot of pain 291 00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:33,280 to get to those codes. 292 00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,064 That'’s good job, kiddo. 293 00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:36,239 Thank you. 294 00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:37,588 Yeah. 295 00:15:37,632 --> 00:15:39,721 Well, I'’m really happy to hear you say that. 296 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:42,071 Sometimes I could wonder if you really appreciate 297 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,899 everything I do. I mean, you know, 298 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,727 I remember when I first met you... 299 00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,947 Enough. Enough. Enough. 300 00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:52,908 This is it. 301 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,171 That'’s the right address. 302 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:58,566 Thanks to Axel, we finally found 303 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:02,222 the location where Taylor'’s stalker was hiding out. 304 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,790 It was time to close the case. 305 00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,325 [exclaims] 306 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,633 Taylor? 307 00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,157 What are you doing here? 308 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,723 I'’m not Taylor. 309 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,073 You look exactly like her. 310 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:30,293 I know, and it'’s a huge problem. 311 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,817 Please, come in. 312 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:37,083 Oh, you don'’t have to take off your shoes. 313 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,432 Well, he has to. 314 00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:41,087 I'’m Swedish. 315 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,611 Please understand. I'’m not stalking Taylor. 316 00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,134 I'’m just calling her. 317 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,050 Okay, and what do you want to talk to her about? 318 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:50,618 I just want to ask her to make a video with me. 319 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,620 A... sex video? 320 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:55,101 No! Lord, no, just a normal video 321 00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:57,320 so I can convince the people back home 322 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,453 in Kansas that we'’re not the same person. 323 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:03,805 Oh, because the people, they thing you'’re making sex videos? 324 00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:07,809 Yes, and it'’s ruining my life. 325 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:11,291 Strange men coming up to me constantly and saying disgusting things to me? 326 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,119 I can'’t keep a job because my bosses 327 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,035 keep firing me because they think they recognize me. 328 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:19,342 Oh, because they'’ve been... 329 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,561 You know. 330 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,824 [sucking noise] 331 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:26,523 Yes. I was even kicked out of my church 332 00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,700 because my preacher, Preacher Dan, 333 00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,876 thought I was Taylor. 334 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:36,577 Yeah, because Preacher Dan has also been, uh... 335 00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,145 -[sucking noise] -Preacher Dan? 336 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,669 Watching what rhymes with corn? No. 337 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,845 Why else would he think it was you? 338 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,891 -Yeah. -Oh, my Lord. 339 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:51,244 Listen, uh, we'’ll give Taylor a call 340 00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:53,768 and we'’ll explain the situation, eh? 341 00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:57,119 I'’m sure she'll have no problem making a video with you. 342 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,513 Really? 343 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,210 Oh, thank you! 344 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,952 You have no idea what this means to me! 345 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,910 Would you like to pray with me 346 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,391 to the Lord and thank Him for this great blessing? 347 00:18:08,435 --> 00:18:10,001 We can'’t. 348 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:14,049 We'’re Swedish. 349 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,225 ♪ 350 00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:25,452 [Ingmar] I hate to admit it, 351 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:28,063 but I guess the kiddo was right. 352 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,022 I guess we'’re all looking for some closure. 353 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,068 Taylor'’s got hers, 354 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,114 and so did the stalker, 355 00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,028 and at this point I even thought 356 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,552 my own daughter Sarah 357 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,510 would get some closure. 358 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:46,864 Hi, Steve. Glad you called. 359 00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:49,345 I could really use a good laugh now. 360 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,999 She dumped me, Ingmar. 361 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,654 What? [grunts] Why? 362 00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,265 She said we... 363 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:57,658 [crying] 364 00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,747 Steve, I can'’t understand you 365 00:18:59,790 --> 00:19:03,229 because you'’re crying like a baby. 366 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,317 [phone beeps] 367 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,101 What, uh... 368 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,278 Hey, Steve, I got Sarah on the other line, 369 00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,628 so I'’m gonna put you on hold. 370 00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:12,629 Is that okay? 371 00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,544 Oh, God... 372 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,461 I'’ll take that as a yes. 373 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:19,810 [beep] 374 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:22,813 -Sarah. -Dad, I broke up with Steve. 375 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,772 I know. I got him on the other line. 376 00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:26,861 He'’s crying like a baby. 377 00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:31,648 Oh. I feel terrible, but, I mean, I had to break up with him. 378 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:32,867 Why, Sarah? First... 379 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,739 I couldn'’t find any dirt on him, mm? 380 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:38,960 Secondly, for once, I actually got along 381 00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,483 with a boyfriend of yours. 382 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,573 Yeah, that'’s the reason I had to break up with him. 383 00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:46,228 It kinda creeped me out how well you two got along. 384 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,056 It was like I was sleeping with my dad. 385 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,450 Okay, don'’t go there. I got it. All right? 386 00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,235 Well, just wanted to let you know. Bye. 387 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,889 [beeps] 388 00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:57,065 Steve, I'’m back. 389 00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:58,936 What did she say? 390 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:02,723 Um, she said to me that... 391 00:20:02,766 --> 00:20:04,725 you'’re not gonna work. 392 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,727 I'’m sorry, forget about her. 393 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,294 Can you do that for me? 394 00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,557 But I love her! 395 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,255 I'’ll take that as a yes. 396 00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,996 [beep] 397 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:19,087 -[screaming] -[gunshots] 398 00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:37,932 -[blow lands on TV] -[yell on TV] 399 00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,371 Sun, what the hell are you doing? 400 00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:43,807 Watching movie. 401 00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,027 Turn that off! 402 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,420 No, Sun, leave it on. 403 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:50,379 [chicken crows] 404 00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,163 [explosion] 405 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:59,519 -Holy shit! -What? 406 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,911 Look. There. 407 00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:09,093 Holy shit! 408 00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:10,965 You can see someone 409 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:12,445 in the reflection. 410 00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:16,362 I think he'’s holding a video camera. 411 00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:18,059 Ingmar! 412 00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,279 Have you noticed this? 413 00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:25,066 -What? -The man with the camera. 414 00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:27,242 There. There he is. Look. 415 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,290 Yeah, you'’re right. 416 00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:33,335 Holy shit. 417 00:21:33,379 --> 00:21:36,164 He'’s probably just shooting, 418 00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:39,254 you know, the behind-the-scenes shit. 419 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,735 You know, there could be something on the tape 420 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:43,171 he has in his camera, 421 00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:45,304 something really interesting. 422 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,740 We should try to find it. 423 00:21:46,783 --> 00:21:48,307 Oh, no. No. 424 00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:52,702 That'’s what I should'’ve said 425 00:21:52,746 --> 00:21:54,574 if I was smart. 426 00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:56,532 But I didn'’t. I said... 427 00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,578 Yes. 428 00:21:58,621 --> 00:22:00,754 Did you just say "yes"? 429 00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:03,234 Yes. 430 00:22:13,157 --> 00:22:14,681 First of all, I would like to thank 431 00:22:14,724 --> 00:22:17,597 the Swedish Dicks for putting me in contact with Taylor. 432 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,905 And I would like to thank Taylor Slow for making this video with me. 433 00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:23,690 Thank you, Taylor. 434 00:22:23,733 --> 00:22:24,821 Glad to be here. 435 00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:26,562 So now all you people back home 436 00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:29,260 who thought I was lying, especially you, Preacher Dan, 437 00:22:29,304 --> 00:22:31,132 know that I wasn'’t. 438 00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:32,394 I'’m not Taylor Slow, 439 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:35,049 and Taylor Slow is not me. 440 00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:37,965 -Right? -That'’s right. 441 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,402 -[kisses] -Oh! 442 00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:42,317 Sorry. 443 00:22:42,361 --> 00:22:43,623 That'’s a bad habit. 444 00:22:43,666 --> 00:22:46,800 I just-- I'’ve been making movies for so long 445 00:22:46,843 --> 00:22:51,065 that whenever I'’m on camera with an attractive person 446 00:22:51,108 --> 00:22:54,242 I just can'’t help myself. 447 00:22:54,285 --> 00:22:58,464 -♪ -[kissing] 448 00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:05,862 Good! More tongue! 449 00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:07,168 [knocking] 450 00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:09,649 [man] Preacher Dan! Are you coming? 451 00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:13,479 Yeah, in a minute! I'’m just cleansing my soul! 452 00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:16,743 [kissing] 453 00:23:16,786 --> 00:23:20,137 ♪ 30465

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