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1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,207
So, what do you think?
2
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,445
Heh. Are you the sheriff
of a Chuck E. Cheese?
3
00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:16,450
Are you a pilot for
Definitely a Virgin Airlines?
4
00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:19,420
Fawz got me a temporary gig
working security.
5
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,055
That's right, we've
had some break-ins
6
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,656
at one
of my apartment buildings,
7
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,059
so I hired a couple
of expert security guards,
8
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,494
and Tush.
9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,063
Why didn't you ask me?
10
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,265
I've been a police officer
for 30 years.
11
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,501
Oh, my God, I'm such
an idiot. Of course!
12
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,705
Randy, do you know any cops
who might be interested?
13
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,807
Me! I'm on a leave of absence.
14
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,410
I could use the extra money.
15
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,578
Great. You're hired.
Oh.
16
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,347
Oh. And one more thing.
17
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,482
Every time I enter the lobby,
you have to salute me.
18
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,485
Oh. Can I use my middle finger?
19
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,722
So that's a no on the salute.
20
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,823
I have great news.
21
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,391
You found another
bathroom to use?
22
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,327
Aw, we'll miss you.
23
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,796
No. I just booked
my first catering gig.
24
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,233
Congratulations,
Sofia.
Thank you.
25
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,800
Arthur, I need
somewhere to prep.
26
00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,769
Can I rent your kitchen
for the night?
Nah.
27
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,238
No one uses
my kitchen.
Oh, c...
28
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,706
Please? I'll pay you 300 bucks.
No.
29
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,542
Yo, we're not open tonight.
What's the big deal?
30
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,711
1988. Barbara O'Bannon
wanted to make pies here
31
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,580
for a fund-raiser.
32
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,615
A crew of two
turned into 12.
33
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:22,850
The next day my
sprinkles were gone.
34
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,518
And there was jelly
on my ceiling.
35
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,854
Thank God. I thought
that was blood.
36
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,523
Guess I'll call the guys
37
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,591
who own the diner
over at Ashland.
38
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,726
They're always asking me
to speak Spanish to them.
39
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,794
That's nice.
40
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,863
They're Korean.
It's weird.
41
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,432
Yo, if you're worried
about your kitchen,
42
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,134
why don't you pay me
to work that night?
43
00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,469
I can keep an eye
on Sofia.
44
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:45,239
Mm, I bet you'll keep
an eye on Sofia.
45
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,775
:
Whoo...!
46
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,311
Okay, what are you
talking about?
47
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,879
And why do you sound like
a flamboyant ghost?
48
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,882
Oh, come on.
49
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,350
We've all seen it.
50
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,719
How you laugh
at her stupid jokes,
51
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,555
choking down that
healthy garbage she sells.
52
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,923
ARTHUR:
Come on, face it,
53
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,458
you got a
crush on her.
54
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,927
:
Whoo...!
55
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,596
Okay, do you have any idea
56
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,464
how ridiculous
y'all sound right now?
57
00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,301
Oh, don't be embarrassed.
I think it's cute.
58
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,468
Yeah, me, too.
59
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,370
Hey, look, if renting
out my kitchen
60
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,639
helps you court this
young lady, then great.
61
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,741
Might turn into a
carriage ride, huh?
62
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,644
If she gets chilly,
you offer her your coat.
Oh. So, what,
63
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:24,678
go back to the 1800s?
64
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,615
'Cause that wasn't
a great time for my people.
65
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,518
Diner guys said no.
66
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,819
Well, look no further,
67
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,587
'cause Arthur said you
can use his kitchen.
68
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,856
Under the condition
that Franco is with you.
69
00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,391
:
Whoo...!
70
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:39,893
What's going on?
71
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,662
Okay, so, uh,
these guys think
72
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,796
I volunteered
to watch you
73
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,898
because I want to go
on a date with you.
74
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,735
Oh. Well, it's a little
too late for that.
75
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:48,536
Why?
76
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,375
What?
77
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,378
Well... we've
already hooked up.
78
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,413
Does "hooked up" mean
what I think it means?
79
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,548
It means...
80
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,416
:
Whoo...!
81
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,818
Hey, hey. We're done
with that, man.
82
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:05,919
Are we?
83
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,755
BOTH :
Whoo...!
84
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,958
*
85
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,266
Well, well, well.
86
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,733
You two have been
sneaking around
87
00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,302
and secretly dating.
88
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,837
Ain't a secret, ain't
sneakin', ain't datin'.
89
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,375
And ain't really
none of your business.
90
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,610
Ah, well, we respect
your privacy, Sofia.
91
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,246
But we don't
respect Franco's.
92
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,847
They do not.
93
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,352
Okay, so I'll let you
enjoy all this. Bye.
94
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,521
Get a life.
95
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,989
What up, Shorty La
96
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,525
Nope. Not doing
nicknames.
97
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,327
What's got into her?
98
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,796
Apparently, Franco.
99
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:49,997
Why would you...
100
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,265
So you finally
101
00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,334
told them about
you and Sofia, huh?
102
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,635
How do you know?
I didn't tell you.
103
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,304
We live
in a tiny apartment, man.
104
00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,506
Just because you zip me up
in my sleeping bag
105
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,641
does not mean
I can't hear stuff.
106
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,877
Well, I'm glad you two
are dating, Franco.
107
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,647
Yeah, it's been a long time
since you had a girlfriend.
108
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,549
Would you stop?
We're not dating.
109
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,284
And she's not my girlfriend.
110
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,553
Nobody does that anymore--
people our age don't put labels
111
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,722
on everything
like you guys did.
That's just what
112
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,790
two hot people do when
they get together.
113
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:20,361
Uh, thank you for
the creepy compliment, man.
114
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,929
Look, I just got
into college, all right?
115
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,332
I don't have time
for any of that serious stuff.
116
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,567
That's kind of how
the kids are these days.
117
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,069
Except, of course,
my daughter, the nerd.
118
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,739
Her and her boyfriend
are taking things slow.
119
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,574
They study together,
120
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,743
watch movies in the dorm,
121
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,445
you know, hang out as friends.
122
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,012
Ha!
Ha!
123
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,750
"Study together."
Hook up in the library.
124
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,918
"Watch movies."
Hook up in his room.
125
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,922
"Hang out as friends."
Hook up in her room.
126
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,491
Aw, damn!
127
00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,761
She's a chip
off the old block.
128
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,962
ARTHUR:
You know, Franco,
129
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,531
I think that your generation
likes to keep things casual
130
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,900
because you, uh, you're
afraid of getting rejected.
131
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,970
No, look, no, you just got
to put yourself out there.
132
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,405
Look, that's how
I got Joanie.
133
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,473
"Got Joanie"?
Yeah.
134
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:09,109
Like in exchange for a cow
and bag of magic beans?
135
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,077
Well, laugh
all you want,
136
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,546
but we were happily
married for 45 years.
137
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,615
Well, as tempting as it is
to take dating advice
138
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,484
from a bunch
of single people over 50...
139
00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,552
I'm cool with
the way things are.
140
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,053
And Sofia is, too.
141
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:24,024
So if my daughter says she's
"cramming for finals..."
142
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,893
You don't want to know.
143
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,809
Okay, rookie, let's go over
a few simple procedures.
144
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,843
Tush, I'm a cop.
145
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,978
I think I can handle this.
146
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,914
You may know the streets,
147
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,684
but an apartment lobby,
whole different beast.
148
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,653
Okay, smart-ass,
149
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,822
tell me this-- what
is the highest threat
150
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,058
to personal safety in
this building right now?
151
00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,395
It's feeling like
this conversation.
152
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:02,830
The garage.
153
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,598
The perp waits
behind a vehicle,
154
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,935
and then slips under the
rolling door as it closes.
155
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,903
Interesting. I was
just gonna tell you
156
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,505
all the places you can nap
157
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,974
without being seen
on the security cameras.
158
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,444
You nap on the job?
159
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,712
Pretty sweet way to make
20 bucks an hour, huh?
160
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,148
Wait. $20?
161
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,983
I'm making $17.
162
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,685
Really?
163
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,621
Well, maybe that's because I
was the assistant floor manager
164
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,857
at a tractor factory.
165
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,824
I'm a cop,
166
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:34,462
and a million times
more qualified than you.
167
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:37,931
Just because I'm a man doesn't
mean that wasn't hurtful.
168
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,669
Gee, I bet Fawz is paying me
less because I'm a woman.
169
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,904
I can't wait to
bust him on this.
170
00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,207
Okay, but just keep this
between you and Fawz.
171
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,876
I can't afford to get involved.
172
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,746
I need a job on my résumé
that I didn't get fired from...
173
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,782
or start a fire at.
174
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,686
So you're not gonna
back me up on this?
175
00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,653
No.
176
00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:01,789
But don't let me stop you--
177
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,223
you should speak up
for yourself.
178
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,825
Back at the factory,
179
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,527
I found out that other guys
were making more than me,
180
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,462
so I marched
into the boss's office
181
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,498
and I insisted on a raise.
182
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,466
What happened?
A week later
183
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,169
they shut down the factory,
moved everything to China.
184
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:19,707
Oh, my God,
I cost 300 people their jobs.
185
00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,976
Ooh, let's get Chinese tonight.
186
00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,047
Okay, just a few ground rules.
187
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,185
This area over here, off limits.
188
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,854
That's the sink.
All right,
189
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,989
the sink is fine,
but the rest-- off limits.
190
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,591
I have memorized
191
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,727
every square inch of this place,
and I expect to find it
192
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,595
exactly the way I left it.
Okay.
193
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,031
So, open bag of flour,
next to a bucket
194
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,134
of stale grease, on top
of what looks like a shoe.
195
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,936
Oh, that's where
my shoe went.
196
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,005
Also, don't use
this chopping block
197
00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,874
for anything other
than chopping.
198
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,544
Unless "chopping" means...
199
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,547
In which case, no chopping.
200
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,082
Okay, I resent the fact
that you think I would have sex
201
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,817
on your dirty-ass counter,
all right?
202
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,886
I'm more of
a walk-in freezer freak.
203
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,921
All right, look, if
she breaks the rules
204
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,524
you might find it hard
to lay down the law, see?
205
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,927
So all you got to do
is bang on this pipe...
206
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:17,064
and I'll come running down
from my apartment lickety-split.
207
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,799
Which also sounds like
208
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,602
something you shouldn't do
on the cutting board.
209
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,303
Well, thank you,
but I won't need your help.
210
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:27,040
All right. Okay, so,
you kids, uh, have fun.
211
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,776
Not a lot of fun.
212
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,944
In fact, don't
have any fun.
213
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,246
In fact, I'm taking this.
214
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,750
I'll just, uh,
215
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,085
get out of your way.
216
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,154
Uh. Unless you want me
in your way.
217
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,856
'Cause I can do that, too.
218
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,724
First, I have
219
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,026
to make 20 pounds
of arroz con pollo
220
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,795
and 200 empanadas.
221
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:48,962
Oh.
222
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,998
Good. That must be Joaquin.
223
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,802
Hola! ¿Cómo estás?
Hola, guapa!
224
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,236
JOAQUIN:
Te ves súper bien.
225
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,338
Disculpa que llegue tarde pero
ya estoy aquí para ayudarte.
226
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,841
No te preocupes.
Chicago te ha
caído muy bien.
227
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,676
:
Juaco!
228
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,011
Hola.
229
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,680
Who are you?
230
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:07,881
Uh, Franco, this is Joaquin.
231
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,082
He's gonna help me
with the empanadas.
232
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,118
Joaquin, this is
my friend Franco.
233
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,820
Friend?
234
00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,088
I understand that word. Okay.
235
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,124
Um, so, how do you two
know each other?
236
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,159
We used to work
at a restaurant in Madison.
We were dating
237
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,294
up until this one picked up
and moved to Chicago.
238
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,996
But now Joaquin's
moving here.
239
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,866
He's opening up
his own restaurant.
240
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,034
You're moving here?
241
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,670
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that sounds kind of risky.
Don't you think?
242
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:33,106
Like, I wouldn't call Chicago
an "eating" town, you know?
243
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:47,020
¿Por qué llegó este muchacho
aquí si no va a ayudar?
244
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,856
Ah, él trabaja aquí.
245
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:49,957
Uh, el patrón le preguntó
246
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,893
que si podía venir...
247
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,629
Me gusta su chaqueta.
¿Adónde la compró Franco?
248
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,631
Whoo! Heard my name.
Heard Franco. I heard my name.
249
00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,734
Uh... wh
250
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,636
He wants to know
where you got your jacket.
251
00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,004
Forever 21.
252
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:07,107
Please do not translate that.
253
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,876
No, no. I got it.
254
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:12,179
That's nice ink
you got there, man.
What are you, a...
255
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,714
a baseball fan?
256
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,716
Played a couple of
seasons for the Brewers.
257
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,784
Just the minor leagues.
258
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,719
Oh.
That's where the modeling
agency found me.
259
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,388
You're a model, a chef,
260
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,091
and a baseball player--
you know, it sounds to me
261
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,227
like you're having trouble
finding who you are, Joaquin.
262
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,097
Oh, that's the door.
263
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,364
I'm gonna get it.
264
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,067
Coming!
265
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,270
Oh, man.
266
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,373
Yo. I got your text.
Yeah.
267
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,809
Where's Sofia?
268
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,678
And what's a Jo
269
00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,880
It's this dude she used
to go out with in Wisconsin,
270
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,115
and now he's moving here.
271
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,449
But you know what?
Maybe it's nothing.
272
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,152
Just take a look and let me
know what you think.
Come on, man.
273
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,222
You're Franco Wicks.
This guy can't compete with you.
274
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,827
You really have to get
in there and massage it.
275
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,796
That dude's gotta go.
I know.
276
00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,165
But I can't kick him out.
277
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,935
Sofia's gonna be
pissed off at me.
278
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,970
But I do know somebody
who doesn't mind
279
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,239
being the bad guy.
280
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,176
Yo. This is Sweatpants.
281
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,410
'Sup?
282
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,079
So, uh, sorry
to interrupt,
283
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,413
but Arthur told me to
check on things
284
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,915
every once in a while.
285
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,084
So, uh, counter...
good.
286
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,720
Mm, desk... still desky.
287
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,421
And, uh, let me check
these pipes.
288
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,825
You know, sometimes
they get clogged up.
289
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,393
Nope, all clear.
290
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,995
Y'all good to go.
Carry on.
291
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,830
SWEATPANTS:
Oh, last thing,
292
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,131
Arthur doesn't like it
when there's two people
293
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,332
on the same side
of the counter,
294
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,134
so we gotta...
295
00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:45,839
Ooh, damn.
You are solid.
296
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,174
Bet you got a seis pack, huh?
297
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,110
That's Spanish for "six-pack."
298
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,912
I think he knows,
Sweatpants, let's go.
299
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,183
Randy, I got
your text.
300
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,351
What's the emergency?
Do I get to evict someone?
301
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,355
I mean, do I have
to evict someone?
302
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:07,327
So, you're paying Tush
$20 an hour, and me 17.
303
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,429
Is that because
I'm a woman?
304
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,000
Well... yes.
305
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,436
But that's because men have to
take care of their families.
306
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:20,140
I have a daughter.
Who's Tush supporting?
307
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,441
She's got you there.
308
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,311
I have no one.
309
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,280
Well, Tush started before
you-- he has seniority.
310
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,248
Three days.
311
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,249
And he spent
one of them
312
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,219
stuck in a stairwell.
313
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,787
You've got some pretty
tough locks here.
314
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,456
I'm not sure why
you need us.
315
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,993
Look, women in this country
make 82 cents to the dollar
316
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,094
compared to men.
317
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,830
I'm paying you 85.
318
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,999
#resist,
#thatswhatshesaid.
319
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:49,136
Fawz, you have got
to make this right.
320
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,104
Equal pay
for equal work.
321
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,274
Fine. Tush, now
you're making 17.
322
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,076
Wait, what?
323
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,211
Randy, I said
keep me out of this.
324
00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,312
If you want to pay him less
325
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,313
because he's a dope,
326
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,015
that's your business.
327
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,417
But if you can afford
to pay $20 an hour,
328
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,386
then you can afford
to pay me that.
329
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,222
Sorry. I if you don't
like it, you're free to walk.
330
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,223
#takeitorleaveit,
331
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,125
Hashtag "if you're gonna
leave it let me know,
332
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,493
I gotta find someone else."
333
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,365
Asi esta bien?
334
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:23,336
No. Mas despacito.
Tienes que tener paciencia.
335
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,237
Okay.
336
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,942
You know, I don't know
what they're saying,
337
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:32,245
but, damn, that's
a sexy-ass language.
338
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,546
This part gets
a little messy,
339
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:37,084
and I'm meeting with
friends later, so...
340
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,386
Hey, there's an apron
right there, man.
341
00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,088
ARTHUR:
Hey, what...
342
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,223
What the hell's
going on here?
343
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,558
Who's this?
344
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,861
This is my friend, Joaquin.
He's helping me.
345
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,097
Oh, nice to meet you, Joaquin.
346
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,532
Aren't you the spicy enchilada?
347
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,569
He's not allowed to be here.
Get out.
348
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,239
What?
I was very clear--
just you and Franco.
349
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,241
This is Barbara O'Bannon
all over again.
350
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,943
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
351
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,544
No, I need him.
There's no way I can
352
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,246
make the empanadas
without him.
353
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,916
Look, you knew the deal--
either he goes or you go.
354
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,517
Seriously?
355
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,519
Okay, I'm so sorry.
356
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,520
Let me walk you out.
357
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,188
Esta bien.
Okay.
358
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,657
Hey, yo, Joaquin,
you still going out,
359
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,927
to, like, a club?
360
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,562
And might it be
a plus
361
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,631
Man, I'm sorry
I woke you up, man,
362
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,033
but I know you wouldn't
like some stranger
363
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,434
messing with your stuff,
you know?
Yeah.
364
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,903
Looks like he was
messing with your stuff.
365
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,271
But you're not
jealous, right?
366
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,074
I mean, you two are
just "hooking up," right?
367
00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,308
You don't know what
you're talking about.
368
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,977
It's a little more
complicated than that.
369
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,946
Well, it wouldn't be if you
knew where you stood with her.
370
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,348
I-I-I'm just saying.
371
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:48,021
Hola, guapa.
372
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,323
Yo, I'm sorry about Arthur,
373
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,324
but you know how
he gets sometimes.
374
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,592
Yeah.
Yeah.
375
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,427
It's so crazy that he--
376
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,964
that he came down here
for no reason.
377
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:57,998
Yeah.
Yeah.
378
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,601
What now, kid? Oh...
379
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,404
She found out
about the pipe thing?
380
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,573
Mm-hmm, yeah. Maybe
we should text next time.
381
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,075
Yeah, maybe.
382
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,010
I don't believe you.
383
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,544
Why did you get rid
of Joaquin?
384
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,612
He took off his shirt.
You know,
385
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,215
the food could have
got contaminated with, like,
386
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,684
you know, chest hair
and cologne and...
387
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,020
That is crap, and you know it.
388
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,154
I thought I was just
doing you a favor.
389
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,990
So, hey, if you don't
want me here, I'll just leave.
390
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,458
Whoa. Where do you
think you're going?
391
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,726
I thought you was
pissed off at me.
392
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:30,297
I am, but I still have
200 empanadas to make,
393
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,299
and you just kicked out
my only helper.
394
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,666
So grab an apron.
395
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,369
I don't know how
to make empanadas.
396
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,039
Well, figure it out.
397
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,041
Because if I don't
pull off this gig,
398
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,375
I'm going to make
you pay for it
399
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,377
for the rest
of your life!
400
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,980
I'll stay.
That's my choice.
401
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,382
I'm terrified, but
that is my choice.
402
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,461
Oh, my God, these
look terrible.
403
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,397
They look nothing like
Joaquin's-- I'm dead.
404
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,698
Hey, look,
stop panicking.
405
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,534
He's not the only one
who knows how to make these
406
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,436
I'm gonna go on YouTube
and find a tutorial.
407
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,004
And there we go.
408
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,106
Two million hits.
The Shirtless Chef.
409
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,576
And... it's Joaquin. God...
410
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:17,744
What is up with you?
411
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,546
Why are you being
all jealous?
412
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,081
I'm not jealous, I just
don't like seeing you
413
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,015
with some other guy here.
414
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,484
That's literally the
definition of jealous.
415
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:28,455
You're being so
territorial.
What?
416
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,290
I just don't like him
all up in my space.
417
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,726
Which is the definition
of "territorial."
418
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,064
Buy a damn dictionary.
419
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,766
And I don't-- I thought
we were just having fun.
420
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,168
It's not like
we're dating.
421
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,770
Maybe we should date.
422
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,774
What?
423
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:51,078
Sofia, I like you.
I like you a lot.
424
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,713
All right? And I want
to take you on a date.
425
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,648
I want to pay for dinner,
426
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,251
and when it gets cold,
I want to give you my coat.
427
00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,187
I have a coat.
428
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,356
Maybe you forgot your coat.
429
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,524
Maybe you didn't think
the carriage ride
430
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,625
would be so chilly,
and you was like,
431
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,160
"Oh, it's a chilly carriage
ride, let me get a coat."
432
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:07,960
I'm like,
"Here take the coat."
433
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,730
I don't know,
it was Arthur's idea.
434
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,100
Franco, I think
you're awesome
435
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,835
and amazing, and
I really like you.
436
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,072
But I just can't right now.
437
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,141
You know, I-I-I just,
I don't have room
438
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,542
for a relationship
with anyone.
439
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,077
I have big plans
for my business.
440
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,513
A food truck,
then catering,
441
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,715
and then a restaurant.
442
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,849
And you know what
that's like.
443
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,685
You have big plans, too.
444
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,423
Yeah, I do. Yeah.
445
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,857
And who knows,
I mean,
446
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,693
maybe someday, when
we're not so busy,
447
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,530
we can go on
that carriage ride.
448
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,533
Really?
Yeah.
449
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,102
I'm dying to see how that
whole coat thing works.
450
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,541
And you know,
just so you know,
451
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,511
that whole bulked-up,
muscly vibe...
452
00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,746
it's not really my thing.
453
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,182
See? It's so played out,
right? Yeah.
454
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,483
You want a guy you can beat
in arm wrestling.
455
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,285
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
456
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,121
A dude you can give
a piggyback ride to. Yeah.
Yeah.
457
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,256
You want a guy you can
share your jeans with.
458
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,224
And I know that
'cause I tried 'em on
459
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,293
when you were
in the shower.
460
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,563
Which was weird. I knew
it was wrong when I did it.
461
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,235
So, how did it go
last night?
SWEATPANTS:
Not great.
462
00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,536
When I showed up
at the club,
463
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,906
Joaquin pretended like
he didn't even know me.
464
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,141
I-I was talking to Franco.
465
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:31,644
Franco, how did it go after
I got rid of Joaquin for you?
466
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,213
Well, I took your advice
and I told Sofia
467
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,847
that I wanted a relationship.
468
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,517
And?
She doesn't.
469
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,586
Well, good.
You made some progress.
470
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,920
How the hell
is that progress?
471
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,589
1971.
472
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,624
Oh, man...
Ernie Menchilla.
473
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,659
The poker king
of uptown.
474
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,428
I asked Joanie
to be my best gal,
475
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,363
but she was so mesmerized
by Ernie and his accordion,
476
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,698
she barely knew I existed.
477
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,733
But I hung in there, see,
478
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,169
and eventually everything
went my way.
479
00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:58,471
You just gotta be
a little patient.
480
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,807
Okay. All right.
481
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,742
Wait, so what happened
to that other guy?
482
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:07,347
Well, let's just say
we never saw him again.
483
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,750
Arthur, did you kill Ernie?
484
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,786
I was just trying
to sound badass.
485
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,256
He moved to Delaware.
486
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,426
Oh, Fawz, I've been
looking for you.
487
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,860
You have?
Yup.
488
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,695
Something occurred
to me last night.
489
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,731
The reason women earn less
490
00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,699
is because we never
talk about pay,
491
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,501
so we never know
if it's equal.
492
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,670
I agree, it's
a great system.
493
00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,705
What's your point?
494
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,208
I called all your
female employees--
495
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,810
from your real estate office,
your travel agency,
496
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,546
and your dry cleaners.
497
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,315
Now they all know that
the men get paid more
498
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,917
for doing the exact
same job.
499
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,387
Oh, well, if they
have a problem,
500
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,488
they should come see me.
501
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,325
Oh, well, lucky for you
they're outside.
502
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,360
Ladies?
503
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:57,264
Linda
504
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,900
You... from the
travel agency?
505
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,469
We want a raise.
506
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:03,970
WOMEN:
Yeah... Right...
What?
507
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,905
No. Especially
not Linda.
508
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,641
She just took three
days off to have a baby.
509
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,945
I wasn't gonna get involved,
but right is right.
510
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,681
Aw, thank you, Tush.
511
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,817
Dammit, these gals deserve
a raise and maternity leave.
512
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,686
And it wouldn't kill you
to pay us a compliment
513
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,922
every once in a while--
they're free.
514
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,692
Wait a minute, if you're all
here, who's minding my stores?
515
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,794
All those well-paid men.
516
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,930
What? No, they're idiots.
517
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,834
Well, that's all you got left.
518
00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:38,338
Ladies, sit, have a donut.
519
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,840
Don't mind if I do.
520
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,309
Okay, okay, fine, fine.
521
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,577
I will pay you
exactly the same as the men.
522
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,413
All right.
523
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,816
Which is still 20% below
the industry average.
524
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,884
Come on, I need a win here.
525
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,754
All right,
we'll take it.
526
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,688
Okay, great, come on,
back to work.
527
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,857
Back to work, let's go.
Come on, come on.
528
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,793
And, Linda, please, no more
breastfeeding during lunch.
529
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,895
We have a closet for that.
530
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,931
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
531
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,539
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
38468
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