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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,207 So, what do you think? 2 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,445 Heh. Are you the sheriff of a Chuck E. Cheese? 3 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:16,450 Are you a pilot for Definitely a Virgin Airlines? 4 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:19,420 Fawz got me a temporary gig working security. 5 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,055 That's right, we've had some break-ins 6 00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,656 at one of my apartment buildings, 7 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,059 so I hired a couple of expert security guards, 8 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,494 and Tush. 9 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,063 Why didn't you ask me? 10 00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:31,265 I've been a police officer for 30 years. 11 00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:33,501 Oh, my God, I'm such an idiot. Of course! 12 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,705 Randy, do you know any cops who might be interested? 13 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,807 Me! I'm on a leave of absence. 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,410 I could use the extra money. 15 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,578 Great. You're hired. Oh. 16 00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,347 Oh. And one more thing. 17 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,482 Every time I enter the lobby, you have to salute me. 18 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:51,485 Oh. Can I use my middle finger? 19 00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:54,722 So that's a no on the salute. 20 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:55,823 I have great news. 21 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,391 You found another bathroom to use? 22 00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,327 Aw, we'll miss you. 23 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,796 No. I just booked my first catering gig. 24 00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,233 Congratulations, Sofia. Thank you. 25 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,800 Arthur, I need somewhere to prep. 26 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,769 Can I rent your kitchen for the night? Nah. 27 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,238 No one uses my kitchen. Oh, c... 28 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,706 Please? I'll pay you 300 bucks. No. 29 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,542 Yo, we're not open tonight. What's the big deal? 30 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:17,711 1988. Barbara O'Bannon wanted to make pies here 31 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,580 for a fund-raiser. 32 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,615 A crew of two turned into 12. 33 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:22,850 The next day my sprinkles were gone. 34 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,518 And there was jelly on my ceiling. 35 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,854 Thank God. I thought that was blood. 36 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,523 Guess I'll call the guys 37 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,591 who own the diner over at Ashland. 38 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,726 They're always asking me to speak Spanish to them. 39 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,794 That's nice. 40 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,863 They're Korean. It's weird. 41 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:38,432 Yo, if you're worried about your kitchen, 42 00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,134 why don't you pay me to work that night? 43 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,469 I can keep an eye on Sofia. 44 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:45,239 Mm, I bet you'll keep an eye on Sofia. 45 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,775 : Whoo...! 46 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,311 Okay, what are you talking about? 47 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,879 And why do you sound like a flamboyant ghost? 48 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,882 Oh, come on. 49 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,350 We've all seen it. 50 00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,719 How you laugh at her stupid jokes, 51 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,555 choking down that healthy garbage she sells. 52 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,923 ARTHUR: Come on, face it, 53 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,458 you got a crush on her. 54 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:06,927 : Whoo...! 55 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,596 Okay, do you have any idea 56 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,464 how ridiculous y'all sound right now? 57 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:13,301 Oh, don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute. 58 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:14,468 Yeah, me, too. 59 00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,370 Hey, look, if renting out my kitchen 60 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,639 helps you court this young lady, then great. 61 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,741 Might turn into a carriage ride, huh? 62 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,644 If she gets chilly, you offer her your coat. Oh. So, what, 63 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:24,678 go back to the 1800s? 64 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,615 'Cause that wasn't a great time for my people. 65 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,518 Diner guys said no. 66 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:31,819 Well, look no further, 67 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,587 'cause Arthur said you can use his kitchen. 68 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,856 Under the condition that Franco is with you. 69 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,391 : Whoo...! 70 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:39,893 What's going on? 71 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,662 Okay, so, uh, these guys think 72 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:42,796 I volunteered to watch you 73 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:44,898 because I want to go on a date with you. 74 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,735 Oh. Well, it's a little too late for that. 75 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:48,536 Why? 76 00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,375 What? 77 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:57,378 Well... we've already hooked up. 78 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,413 Does "hooked up" mean what I think it means? 79 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,548 It means... 80 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,416 : Whoo...! 81 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,818 Hey, hey. We're done with that, man. 82 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:05,919 Are we? 83 00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,755 BOTH : Whoo...! 84 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,958 * 85 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,266 Well, well, well. 86 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,733 You two have been sneaking around 87 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,302 and secretly dating. 88 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,837 Ain't a secret, ain't sneakin', ain't datin'. 89 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,375 And ain't really none of your business. 90 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,610 Ah, well, we respect your privacy, Sofia. 91 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,246 But we don't respect Franco's. 92 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,847 They do not. 93 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,352 Okay, so I'll let you enjoy all this. Bye. 94 00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:40,521 Get a life. 95 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,989 What up, Shorty La 96 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,525 Nope. Not doing nicknames. 97 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,327 What's got into her? 98 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:48,796 Apparently, Franco. 99 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:49,997 Why would you... 100 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,265 So you finally 101 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:53,334 told them about you and Sofia, huh? 102 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,635 How do you know? I didn't tell you. 103 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,304 We live in a tiny apartment, man. 104 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,506 Just because you zip me up in my sleeping bag 105 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,641 does not mean I can't hear stuff. 106 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,877 Well, I'm glad you two are dating, Franco. 107 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,647 Yeah, it's been a long time since you had a girlfriend. 108 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,549 Would you stop? We're not dating. 109 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,284 And she's not my girlfriend. 110 00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,553 Nobody does that anymore-- people our age don't put labels 111 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,722 on everything like you guys did. That's just what 112 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,790 two hot people do when they get together. 113 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:20,361 Uh, thank you for the creepy compliment, man. 114 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,929 Look, I just got into college, all right? 115 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,332 I don't have time for any of that serious stuff. 116 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,567 That's kind of how the kids are these days. 117 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,069 Except, of course, my daughter, the nerd. 118 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,739 Her and her boyfriend are taking things slow. 119 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,574 They study together, 120 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,743 watch movies in the dorm, 121 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,445 you know, hang out as friends. 122 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,012 Ha! Ha! 123 00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,750 "Study together." Hook up in the library. 124 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,918 "Watch movies." Hook up in his room. 125 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:48,922 "Hang out as friends." Hook up in her room. 126 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,491 Aw, damn! 127 00:04:50,524 --> 00:04:53,761 She's a chip off the old block. 128 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,962 ARTHUR: You know, Franco, 129 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,531 I think that your generation likes to keep things casual 130 00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,900 because you, uh, you're afraid of getting rejected. 131 00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,970 No, look, no, you just got to put yourself out there. 132 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,405 Look, that's how I got Joanie. 133 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:05,473 "Got Joanie"? Yeah. 134 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:09,109 Like in exchange for a cow and bag of magic beans? 135 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,077 Well, laugh all you want, 136 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,546 but we were happily married for 45 years. 137 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,615 Well, as tempting as it is to take dating advice 138 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,484 from a bunch of single people over 50... 139 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,552 I'm cool with the way things are. 140 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,053 And Sofia is, too. 141 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:24,024 So if my daughter says she's "cramming for finals..." 142 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,893 You don't want to know. 143 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:41,809 Okay, rookie, let's go over a few simple procedures. 144 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:42,843 Tush, I'm a cop. 145 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,978 I think I can handle this. 146 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,914 You may know the streets, 147 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,684 but an apartment lobby, whole different beast. 148 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:52,653 Okay, smart-ass, 149 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,822 tell me this-- what is the highest threat 150 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,058 to personal safety in this building right now? 151 00:05:58,091 --> 00:06:01,395 It's feeling like this conversation. 152 00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:02,830 The garage. 153 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,598 The perp waits behind a vehicle, 154 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,935 and then slips under the rolling door as it closes. 155 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,903 Interesting. I was just gonna tell you 156 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,505 all the places you can nap 157 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,974 without being seen on the security cameras. 158 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:16,444 You nap on the job? 159 00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,712 Pretty sweet way to make 20 bucks an hour, huh? 160 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,148 Wait. $20? 161 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,983 I'm making $17. 162 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,685 Really? 163 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:27,621 Well, maybe that's because I was the assistant floor manager 164 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,857 at a tractor factory. 165 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,824 I'm a cop, 166 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:34,462 and a million times more qualified than you. 167 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:37,931 Just because I'm a man doesn't mean that wasn't hurtful. 168 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:41,669 Gee, I bet Fawz is paying me less because I'm a woman. 169 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,904 I can't wait to bust him on this. 170 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:47,207 Okay, but just keep this between you and Fawz. 171 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,876 I can't afford to get involved. 172 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,746 I need a job on my résumé that I didn't get fired from... 173 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,782 or start a fire at. 174 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,686 So you're not gonna back me up on this? 175 00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,653 No. 176 00:07:00,988 --> 00:07:01,789 But don't let me stop you-- 177 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,223 you should speak up for yourself. 178 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,825 Back at the factory, 179 00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,527 I found out that other guys were making more than me, 180 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,462 so I marched into the boss's office 181 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,498 and I insisted on a raise. 182 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,466 What happened? A week later 183 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,169 they shut down the factory, moved everything to China. 184 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:19,707 Oh, my God, I cost 300 people their jobs. 185 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,976 Ooh, let's get Chinese tonight. 186 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:27,047 Okay, just a few ground rules. 187 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,185 This area over here, off limits. 188 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,854 That's the sink. All right, 189 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,989 the sink is fine, but the rest-- off limits. 190 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,591 I have memorized 191 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,727 every square inch of this place, and I expect to find it 192 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,595 exactly the way I left it. Okay. 193 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,031 So, open bag of flour, next to a bucket 194 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,134 of stale grease, on top of what looks like a shoe. 195 00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,936 Oh, that's where my shoe went. 196 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,005 Also, don't use this chopping block 197 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,874 for anything other than chopping. 198 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,544 Unless "chopping" means... 199 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:59,547 In which case, no chopping. 200 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,082 Okay, I resent the fact that you think I would have sex 201 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,817 on your dirty-ass counter, all right? 202 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,886 I'm more of a walk-in freezer freak. 203 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,921 All right, look, if she breaks the rules 204 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,524 you might find it hard to lay down the law, see? 205 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:13,927 So all you got to do is bang on this pipe... 206 00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:17,064 and I'll come running down from my apartment lickety-split. 207 00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,799 Which also sounds like 208 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,602 something you shouldn't do on the cutting board. 209 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,303 Well, thank you, but I won't need your help. 210 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:27,040 All right. Okay, so, you kids, uh, have fun. 211 00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,776 Not a lot of fun. 212 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,944 In fact, don't have any fun. 213 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:33,246 In fact, I'm taking this. 214 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,750 I'll just, uh, 215 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,085 get out of your way. 216 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,154 Uh. Unless you want me in your way. 217 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,856 'Cause I can do that, too. 218 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:43,724 First, I have 219 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,026 to make 20 pounds of arroz con pollo 220 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,795 and 200 empanadas. 221 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:48,962 Oh. 222 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,998 Good. That must be Joaquin. 223 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,802 Hola! ¿Cómo estás? Hola, guapa! 224 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,236 JOAQUIN: Te ves súper bien. 225 00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,338 Disculpa que llegue tarde pero ya estoy aquí para ayudarte. 226 00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,841 No te preocupes. Chicago te ha caído muy bien. 227 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,676 : Juaco! 228 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,011 Hola. 229 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,680 Who are you? 230 00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:07,881 Uh, Franco, this is Joaquin. 231 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,082 He's gonna help me with the empanadas. 232 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,118 Joaquin, this is my friend Franco. 233 00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,820 Friend? 234 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,088 I understand that word. Okay. 235 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,124 Um, so, how do you two know each other? 236 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,159 We used to work at a restaurant in Madison. We were dating 237 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,294 up until this one picked up and moved to Chicago. 238 00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,996 But now Joaquin's moving here. 239 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,866 He's opening up his own restaurant. 240 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,034 You're moving here? 241 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,670 Mm-hmm. Oh, that sounds kind of risky. Don't you think? 242 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:33,106 Like, I wouldn't call Chicago an "eating" town, you know? 243 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:47,020 ¿Por qué llegó este muchacho aquí si no va a ayudar? 244 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,856 Ah, él trabaja aquí. 245 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:49,957 Uh, el patrón le preguntó 246 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,893 que si podía venir... 247 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,629 Me gusta su chaqueta. ¿Adónde la compró Franco? 248 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,631 Whoo! Heard my name. Heard Franco. I heard my name. 249 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,734 Uh... wh 250 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,636 He wants to know where you got your jacket. 251 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:04,004 Forever 21. 252 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:07,107 Please do not translate that. 253 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,876 No, no. I got it. 254 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:12,179 That's nice ink you got there, man. What are you, a... 255 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,714 a baseball fan? 256 00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,716 Played a couple of seasons for the Brewers. 257 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,784 Just the minor leagues. 258 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,719 Oh. That's where the modeling agency found me. 259 00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,388 You're a model, a chef, 260 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,091 and a baseball player-- you know, it sounds to me 261 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,227 like you're having trouble finding who you are, Joaquin. 262 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,097 Oh, that's the door. 263 00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,364 I'm gonna get it. 264 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,067 Coming! 265 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,270 Oh, man. 266 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,373 Yo. I got your text. Yeah. 267 00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,809 Where's Sofia? 268 00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:44,678 And what's a Jo 269 00:10:44,712 --> 00:10:46,880 It's this dude she used to go out with in Wisconsin, 270 00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:48,115 and now he's moving here. 271 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,449 But you know what? Maybe it's nothing. 272 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,152 Just take a look and let me know what you think. Come on, man. 273 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,222 You're Franco Wicks. This guy can't compete with you. 274 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,827 You really have to get in there and massage it. 275 00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:02,796 That dude's gotta go. I know. 276 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:05,165 But I can't kick him out. 277 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,935 Sofia's gonna be pissed off at me. 278 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,970 But I do know somebody who doesn't mind 279 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,239 being the bad guy. 280 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,176 Yo. This is Sweatpants. 281 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,410 'Sup? 282 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,079 So, uh, sorry to interrupt, 283 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,413 but Arthur told me to check on things 284 00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,915 every once in a while. 285 00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,084 So, uh, counter... good. 286 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:26,720 Mm, desk... still desky. 287 00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,421 And, uh, let me check these pipes. 288 00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,825 You know, sometimes they get clogged up. 289 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,393 Nope, all clear. 290 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,995 Y'all good to go. Carry on. 291 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,830 SWEATPANTS: Oh, last thing, 292 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,131 Arthur doesn't like it when there's two people 293 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,332 on the same side of the counter, 294 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,134 so we gotta... 295 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:45,839 Ooh, damn. You are solid. 296 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,174 Bet you got a seis pack, huh? 297 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,110 That's Spanish for "six-pack." 298 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,912 I think he knows, Sweatpants, let's go. 299 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,183 Randy, I got your text. 300 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,351 What's the emergency? Do I get to evict someone? 301 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,355 I mean, do I have to evict someone? 302 00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:07,327 So, you're paying Tush $20 an hour, and me 17. 303 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,429 Is that because I'm a woman? 304 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,000 Well... yes. 305 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,436 But that's because men have to take care of their families. 306 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:20,140 I have a daughter. Who's Tush supporting? 307 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,441 She's got you there. 308 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,311 I have no one. 309 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:27,280 Well, Tush started before you-- he has seniority. 310 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:28,248 Three days. 311 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,249 And he spent one of them 312 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,219 stuck in a stairwell. 313 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,787 You've got some pretty tough locks here. 314 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,456 I'm not sure why you need us. 315 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,993 Look, women in this country make 82 cents to the dollar 316 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,094 compared to men. 317 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,830 I'm paying you 85. 318 00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,999 #resist, #thatswhatshesaid. 319 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:49,136 Fawz, you have got to make this right. 320 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,104 Equal pay for equal work. 321 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,274 Fine. Tush, now you're making 17. 322 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,076 Wait, what? 323 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,211 Randy, I said keep me out of this. 324 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,312 If you want to pay him less 325 00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:00,313 because he's a dope, 326 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,015 that's your business. 327 00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,417 But if you can afford to pay $20 an hour, 328 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,386 then you can afford to pay me that. 329 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,222 Sorry. I if you don't like it, you're free to walk. 330 00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:10,223 #takeitorleaveit, 331 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:12,125 Hashtag "if you're gonna leave it let me know, 332 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,493 I gotta find someone else." 333 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,365 Asi esta bien? 334 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:23,336 No. Mas despacito. Tienes que tener paciencia. 335 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:24,237 Okay. 336 00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,942 You know, I don't know what they're saying, 337 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:32,245 but, damn, that's a sexy-ass language. 338 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,546 This part gets a little messy, 339 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:37,084 and I'm meeting with friends later, so... 340 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,386 Hey, there's an apron right there, man. 341 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:41,088 ARTHUR: Hey, what... 342 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,223 What the hell's going on here? 343 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,558 Who's this? 344 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,861 This is my friend, Joaquin. He's helping me. 345 00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:50,097 Oh, nice to meet you, Joaquin. 346 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,532 Aren't you the spicy enchilada? 347 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,569 He's not allowed to be here. Get out. 348 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,239 What? I was very clear-- just you and Franco. 349 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,241 This is Barbara O'Bannon all over again. 350 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,943 No, no, no, no, no, no. 351 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,544 No, I need him. There's no way I can 352 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:06,246 make the empanadas without him. 353 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,916 Look, you knew the deal-- either he goes or you go. 354 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,517 Seriously? 355 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,519 Okay, I'm so sorry. 356 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,520 Let me walk you out. 357 00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,188 Esta bien. Okay. 358 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,657 Hey, yo, Joaquin, you still going out, 359 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,927 to, like, a club? 360 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,562 And might it be a plus 361 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,631 Man, I'm sorry I woke you up, man, 362 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:26,033 but I know you wouldn't like some stranger 363 00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,434 messing with your stuff, you know? Yeah. 364 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,903 Looks like he was messing with your stuff. 365 00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:31,271 But you're not jealous, right? 366 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:34,074 I mean, you two are just "hooking up," right? 367 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,308 You don't know what you're talking about. 368 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,977 It's a little more complicated than that. 369 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,946 Well, it wouldn't be if you knew where you stood with her. 370 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:41,348 I-I-I'm just saying. 371 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:48,021 Hola, guapa. 372 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,323 Yo, I'm sorry about Arthur, 373 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:51,324 but you know how he gets sometimes. 374 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,592 Yeah. Yeah. 375 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,427 It's so crazy that he-- 376 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,964 that he came down here for no reason. 377 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:57,998 Yeah. Yeah. 378 00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,601 What now, kid? Oh... 379 00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,404 She found out about the pipe thing? 380 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,573 Mm-hmm, yeah. Maybe we should text next time. 381 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,075 Yeah, maybe. 382 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,010 I don't believe you. 383 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,544 Why did you get rid of Joaquin? 384 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,612 He took off his shirt. You know, 385 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,215 the food could have got contaminated with, like, 386 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,684 you know, chest hair and cologne and... 387 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,020 That is crap, and you know it. 388 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,154 I thought I was just doing you a favor. 389 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,990 So, hey, if you don't want me here, I'll just leave. 390 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:25,458 Whoa. Where do you think you're going? 391 00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:26,726 I thought you was pissed off at me. 392 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:30,297 I am, but I still have 200 empanadas to make, 393 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:32,299 and you just kicked out my only helper. 394 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,666 So grab an apron. 395 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,369 I don't know how to make empanadas. 396 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:39,039 Well, figure it out. 397 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:41,041 Because if I don't pull off this gig, 398 00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,375 I'm going to make you pay for it 399 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,377 for the rest of your life! 400 00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,980 I'll stay. That's my choice. 401 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,382 I'm terrified, but that is my choice. 402 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,461 Oh, my God, these look terrible. 403 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:04,397 They look nothing like Joaquin's-- I'm dead. 404 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,698 Hey, look, stop panicking. 405 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,534 He's not the only one who knows how to make these 406 00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:09,436 I'm gonna go on YouTube and find a tutorial. 407 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,004 And there we go. 408 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,106 Two million hits. The Shirtless Chef. 409 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:16,576 And... it's Joaquin. God... 410 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:17,744 What is up with you? 411 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:19,546 Why are you being all jealous? 412 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,081 I'm not jealous, I just don't like seeing you 413 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,015 with some other guy here. 414 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,484 That's literally the definition of jealous. 415 00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:28,455 You're being so territorial. What? 416 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,290 I just don't like him all up in my space. 417 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,726 Which is the definition of "territorial." 418 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:37,064 Buy a damn dictionary. 419 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,766 And I don't-- I thought we were just having fun. 420 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,168 It's not like we're dating. 421 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,770 Maybe we should date. 422 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,774 What? 423 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:51,078 Sofia, I like you. I like you a lot. 424 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,713 All right? And I want to take you on a date. 425 00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,648 I want to pay for dinner, 426 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,251 and when it gets cold, I want to give you my coat. 427 00:16:58,285 --> 00:17:00,187 I have a coat. 428 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,356 Maybe you forgot your coat. 429 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,524 Maybe you didn't think the carriage ride 430 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,625 would be so chilly, and you was like, 431 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:07,160 "Oh, it's a chilly carriage ride, let me get a coat." 432 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:07,960 I'm like, "Here take the coat." 433 00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,730 I don't know, it was Arthur's idea. 434 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:13,100 Franco, I think you're awesome 435 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,835 and amazing, and I really like you. 436 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,072 But I just can't right now. 437 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,141 You know, I-I-I just, I don't have room 438 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,542 for a relationship with anyone. 439 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,077 I have big plans for my business. 440 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,513 A food truck, then catering, 441 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,715 and then a restaurant. 442 00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,849 And you know what that's like. 443 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,685 You have big plans, too. 444 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:36,423 Yeah, I do. Yeah. 445 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,857 And who knows, I mean, 446 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,693 maybe someday, when we're not so busy, 447 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,530 we can go on that carriage ride. 448 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,533 Really? Yeah. 449 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,102 I'm dying to see how that whole coat thing works. 450 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,541 And you know, just so you know, 451 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,511 that whole bulked-up, muscly vibe... 452 00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,746 it's not really my thing. 453 00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,182 See? It's so played out, right? Yeah. 454 00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,483 You want a guy you can beat in arm wrestling. 455 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,285 You know what I mean? Yeah. 456 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:08,121 A dude you can give a piggyback ride to. Yeah. Yeah. 457 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,256 You want a guy you can share your jeans with. 458 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,224 And I know that 'cause I tried 'em on 459 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,293 when you were in the shower. 460 00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:16,563 Which was weird. I knew it was wrong when I did it. 461 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,235 So, how did it go last night? SWEATPANTS: Not great. 462 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,536 When I showed up at the club, 463 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:26,906 Joaquin pretended like he didn't even know me. 464 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,141 I-I was talking to Franco. 465 00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:31,644 Franco, how did it go after I got rid of Joaquin for you? 466 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,213 Well, I took your advice and I told Sofia 467 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,847 that I wanted a relationship. 468 00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,517 And? She doesn't. 469 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,586 Well, good. You made some progress. 470 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,920 How the hell is that progress? 471 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,589 1971. 472 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,624 Oh, man... Ernie Menchilla. 473 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,659 The poker king of uptown. 474 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,428 I asked Joanie to be my best gal, 475 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,363 but she was so mesmerized by Ernie and his accordion, 476 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,698 she barely knew I existed. 477 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,733 But I hung in there, see, 478 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,169 and eventually everything went my way. 479 00:18:56,203 --> 00:18:58,471 You just gotta be a little patient. 480 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,807 Okay. All right. 481 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,742 Wait, so what happened to that other guy? 482 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:07,347 Well, let's just say we never saw him again. 483 00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,750 Arthur, did you kill Ernie? 484 00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,786 I was just trying to sound badass. 485 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,256 He moved to Delaware. 486 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:19,426 Oh, Fawz, I've been looking for you. 487 00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,860 You have? Yup. 488 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,695 Something occurred to me last night. 489 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,731 The reason women earn less 490 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:26,699 is because we never talk about pay, 491 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,501 so we never know if it's equal. 492 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,670 I agree, it's a great system. 493 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,705 What's your point? 494 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,208 I called all your female employees-- 495 00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,810 from your real estate office, your travel agency, 496 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,546 and your dry cleaners. 497 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:42,315 Now they all know that the men get paid more 498 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,917 for doing the exact same job. 499 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,387 Oh, well, if they have a problem, 500 00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:48,488 they should come see me. 501 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,325 Oh, well, lucky for you they're outside. 502 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,360 Ladies? 503 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:57,264 Linda 504 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,900 You... from the travel agency? 505 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,469 We want a raise. 506 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:03,970 WOMEN: Yeah... Right... What? 507 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,905 No. Especially not Linda. 508 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,641 She just took three days off to have a baby. 509 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,945 I wasn't gonna get involved, but right is right. 510 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,681 Aw, thank you, Tush. 511 00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,817 Dammit, these gals deserve a raise and maternity leave. 512 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,686 And it wouldn't kill you to pay us a compliment 513 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,922 every once in a while-- they're free. 514 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,692 Wait a minute, if you're all here, who's minding my stores? 515 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,794 All those well-paid men. 516 00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,930 What? No, they're idiots. 517 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,834 Well, that's all you got left. 518 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:38,338 Ladies, sit, have a donut. 519 00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,840 Don't mind if I do. 520 00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:42,309 Okay, okay, fine, fine. 521 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,577 I will pay you exactly the same as the men. 522 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,413 All right. 523 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:49,816 Which is still 20% below the industry average. 524 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,884 Come on, I need a win here. 525 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:54,754 All right, we'll take it. 526 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:55,688 Okay, great, come on, back to work. 527 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,857 Back to work, let's go. Come on, come on. 528 00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,793 And, Linda, please, no more breastfeeding during lunch. 529 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:02,895 We have a closet for that. 530 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,931 Captioning sponsored by CBS 531 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:12,539 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 38468

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