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1
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,180
So, what are you working on?
2
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,529
Since I'm the newest detective
3
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:10,140
they stuck me with
the cold cases.
4
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:13,143
This couple was dismembered
while they slept.
5
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:17,060
Ugh. Till death
did they part.
6
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,062
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out
who did it.
7
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:22,022
Hello.
What do we have here?
8
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,067
A clue?
The lamp.
9
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,896
This would look so good
in my living room.
10
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,856
Randy, now that you're
a detective,
11
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,641
can I be your
streetwise sidekick
12
00:00:32,684 --> 00:00:34,164
that busts heads
and takes names?
13
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:37,211
Because I don't play
by the rules, lady.
14
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:39,691
Yeah, I work alone.
15
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,911
That's how all buddy
cop movies start.
16
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:44,000
I can't wait for the part
where you have to handcuff me
17
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,436
to the steering wheel.
18
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,092
ARTHUR: Hey, guys!
Where'd you go to lunch?
19
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,138
Shaw's. And look,
I brought you something.
20
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,139
Oh, no, you didn't.
21
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,358
Oh, my favorite.
22
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,361
Free Sweet'N Low.
23
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,711
Thanks, Franco.
Or should I say Tavi?
24
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,148
It was my idea.
25
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,889
Yeah, you can't afford Shaw's
on what you make here.
26
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:05,717
I pay for some stuff, too.
27
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:08,068
I left a pretty generous tip
for the bathroom attendant.
28
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,591
They don't have bathroom
attendants.
29
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:13,203
Oh. Then I paid some dude
five bucks to watch me pee.
30
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:16,076
That is the going rate.
31
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,557
So, Arthur,
you're a Cubs fan, right?
32
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:22,473
Am I a Cubs fan?
Am I a Cubs fan?
33
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,127
Let me show you
my Cubs tattoo.
34
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,390
No, no, no, no, no.No, no, that's good.
That's okay.
35
00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:28,305
My dad has a box
at Wrigley,
36
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:29,959
but he's gonna be
in London for a week in May.
37
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,091
Do you want it?
38
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,484
Do I want a box at Wri--
Oh, thank you.
39
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:34,877
She's a keeper.
40
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,792
Hey, listen, uh,
41
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:37,967
the next time
you go to Shaw's,
42
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,751
we're running low
on toilet paper.
43
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:40,970
Okay.
44
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,453
Uh-oh, Sofia's here.
45
00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,369
Why are you talking
like that?
46
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,153
Well, because, you know,
47
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,591
you and Sofia, and now
you and Tavi...
48
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:54,853
Had sex?
49
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:55,854
I was gonna say "wacka wacka,"
50
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:57,247
but that works, too.
51
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554
What are you guys
talking about?
52
00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:00,598
Arthur thinks it's awkward
53
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:01,686
'cause you and I
used to hook up,
54
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:02,731
and now I'm dating Tavi.
55
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,298
Oh. Why would that
be awkward?
56
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,169
I don't get
your generation.
57
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,910
When I met one of
Joanie's ole beaus,
58
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,085
I'd tell him to scram
59
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,565
before I gave him
a knuckle sandwich.
60
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:12,088
[chuckling]
61
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,482
I feel like I got older just
listening to that sentence.
62
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:17,180
So, times have
changed, thank God.
63
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:19,095
Here you go.SOFIA: Yeah, it's so
not a big deal.
64
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,749
We didn't even have
a relationship.
65
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,620
And Franco was totally
honest and up-front about it,
66
00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,144
which I really appreciate.
67
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:27,799
I enjoy comparing notes
with my lovers.
68
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,542
Each new partner is
like a blank canvas,
69
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,415
and I want to know exactly
how they want to be painted.
70
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,597
Well, I'm gonna go.
71
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,339
Uh, don't forget we have
that Jay-Z concert tonight.
72
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,167
Oh, right, right, right.
Bye, baby.
73
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,386
Well, look at you, Mr. Fancy,
seeing Jay-Z
74
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,779
Ain't that fancy.
75
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,172
I didn't even know
he was in town.
76
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:53,651
Well, he's not.
77
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,087
He's actually in Philadelphia.
78
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,177
We're taking her dad's
private jet to get there.
79
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,179
Sometimes he lets me steer.
80
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:03,095
Yeah, well, it must be nice
having a rich girlfriend.
81
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,706
She's buying you stuff.
82
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:06,490
Maybe she can get you
a decent haircut.
83
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,231
[chuckles]
84
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,972
Actually, Tavi likes my hair.
85
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:11,060
And who the hell are you?
86
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,714
Oh, I think you know.
87
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:13,715
[chuckles]
88
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,804
It's me, Fawz!
89
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,849
From the donut shop!
90
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,898
Oh, what the hell?
Is it Iraqi Halloween?
91
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,988
It looks great, but you're
still not getting
92
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,425
through airport security.
93
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:30,210
No. It has come
to my attention
94
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,037
that one of the workers
at my sandwich shop
95
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,256
has been stealing.
96
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,692
So I'm going to
pose as a worker
97
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,912
to find the culprit
and have them eliminated.
98
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:37,913
You mean fired.
99
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,481
Sure, let's go with that.
100
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:43,179
I cannot have a thief
working at Rub-A-Dub Sub.
101
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,747
By the way, that's a terrible
name for a sub shop.
102
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,052
What? It's named after
the original owner,
103
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,141
Raheem Rubadub.
104
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,884
So, how much money
have they taken?
105
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:54,408
So far, it's just cheese.
106
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,844
But it's still stealing.
107
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,585
And if we don't have
trust and honesty,
108
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:58,977
we have nothing.
109
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:02,546
Okay, I'm off to go trick
those stupid bastards.
110
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:07,247
This is gonna be fun.
111
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,337
It's fun firing someone
who's making minimum wage?
112
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,948
Oh, Randy, you get me.
113
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,562
So...
114
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:21,435
private jet to Philadelphia--
can I date her?
115
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:24,612
Heh, heh.
Well, it does sound nice, right?
116
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:26,831
It's weird that Tavi does
all this fancy stuff for me,
117
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:29,269
but I kinda feel bad that
I can't do anything for her.
118
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,922
Well, did you tell her
it bugs you?
119
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,315
Yeah, I tried,
but then she gave me this shirt,
120
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:35,362
and it's so comfortable.[Sofia laughs]
121
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,581
Well, there's lots of stuff
you can do for her.
122
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,975
Just take her somewhere
you can afford.
123
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:41,933
Ha! There's only two
places I can afford--
124
00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,674
my apartment and this place.
125
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,546
And my apartment doesn't have
free donuts.
126
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:48,723
This place doesn't have
free donuts either, you know.
127
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,073
I don't know,
what if she don't want
128
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,553
to hang out in my
crappy little apartment?
129
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,032
You won't know
until you ask,
130
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,383
and if you don't ask,
it'll bother you more and more.
131
00:04:56,426 --> 00:04:59,560
Hey, I really want you
and Tavi to make it.
132
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:01,649
Ooh. If you
get her pregnant,
133
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:04,173
we can go to the
All-Star Game.
134
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,655
♪
135
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,841
You get a ten-minute break
every two hours,
136
00:05:19,884 --> 00:05:21,146
but if you want to step
outside and have a smoke,
137
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,409
I'll look the other way.
138
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,541
Uh, ha ha, but I'm
getting paid for that time.
139
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:28,110
Isn't that stealing from
the sexy and benevolent owner?
140
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,764
Don't worry about him,
I'm the boss.
141
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,331
That's right, you are the boss,
142
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:34,377
and I am the employee,
and my name is Brian.
143
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:35,726
[chuckles]
144
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:40,165
Hello. I'm in the mood
for a sandwich,
145
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,645
Brian.
146
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,734
Of course.
147
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:44,909
[quietly]:
What are you doing here?
148
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,650
I wanted to see if
you needed any help
149
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:48,304
Maybe get a free sub.
150
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,133
Also, Arthur asked me
to steal some napkins.
151
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,789
What kind of bread
would you like, sir?
152
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,139
Uh, top part pumpernickel,
toasted,
153
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:59,097
bottom part white,
room temp.
154
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,579
Certainly, sir, I will get that
155
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,365
with absolutely no
resentment whatsoever.
156
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,326
So, any leads in the case
of the missing cheese?Not yet.
157
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,241
But I'm gonna find the culprit
by the end of the day.
158
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,503
Why are you in such a hurry?
159
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:16,376
Because I rented the wig.
160
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,334
Hey, new guy, you want
to grab a beer after work
161
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,422
and watch the game?
162
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,337
Oh, you mean like a friend?
163
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,469
Yeah.
164
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,209
No.
165
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,472
Let me ask you.
166
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,299
Do you know who's
taking the cheese?
167
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,870
You're not gonna get
any information
168
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:34,524
out of anybody
if you act like that.
169
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,483
You've got to build up
the relationship.
170
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,615
Act friendly.
Ask about their lives.
171
00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,400
Back off, Tush,
I got this.
172
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:41,879
Everything okay?
173
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,620
Everything's dandy, ma'am.
174
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,883
I'd love some condiments.
175
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:47,494
How about some mayo?
176
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,454
A little more.
177
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,282
Little more.
178
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,893
Teeny bit more.
179
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,547
Ah! That's too much.
180
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,380
All right, so let me give you
a tour of the apartment
181
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:08,906
That's my media room,
dining room, my kitchen.
182
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,081
Weird-ass roommate.
183
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,475
Hello, I'm Zale.
184
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,390
Hey, I'm Tavi.
No.
185
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,699
Eh, wish I could.
186
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:19,743
She's just not
getting it.
187
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,745
Yeah, um...
188
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:23,138
He's kind of a germophope.
189
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,879
And you said you
wouldn't be here.Don't worry,
190
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,402
I'm leaving soon.
Just as soon
191
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,971
as I sterilize
my tongue scraper.
192
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,843
I'm sorry about Zale, man.
He-He kind of a strange person,
193
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,845
you know, but at least
he don't watch me
194
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:35,890
when I sleep anymore.
195
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,282
How do you know?
196
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,633
Damn, baby, why you gotta
ask questions like that?
197
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,764
Now I'm scared.
[laughs]
198
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,464
This has been
a fun night, Franco.
See?
199
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,596
Told you we didn't gotta spend
no money to have a good time.
200
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,295
Yeah, the music was great,
the food was delicious.
201
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:51,949
Did you ever catch the name
of the bride and groom?
202
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:56,345
Nah, but that ain't stop me
from making a damn good toast.
203
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,042
I'm glad you had
a good time.
204
00:07:58,086 --> 00:08:00,392
Yeah. I gotta remember
to thank Sofia.
205
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,524
Sofia?
Mm-hmm.
206
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,048
I was telling her
I kinda felt
207
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,311
a little insecure
about how unbalanced
208
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,356
our relationship was,
209
00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:08,618
and she suggested
I do this.
210
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:09,793
Really?
211
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,273
Did it ever occur to you
212
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,622
to talk to me about that?
213
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:15,843
It's occurring to me now.
214
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,803
So, you talked
to Sofia about us?
215
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:22,632
No, not just us.
We talk about everything.
216
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,852
Aw, damn, that didn't help,
did it?
217
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:27,202
You want to tell me
what's going on here?
218
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,073
Yes! Yeah, yeah,
I'll tell you.
219
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,553
You like honesty--
I'm gonna be honest.
220
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,381
Okay, so, yeah, we talk.
221
00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,731
We text.
She gives me advice.
222
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:37,473
Sometimes we go to movies
you don't want to see.
223
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,736
And, uh, on Wednesday night
it's ramen night.
224
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,173
Oh.
225
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:47,135
I-Is this you appreciating
my honesty?
226
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:50,094
Look, I'm not gonna
keep investing in this
227
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,314
unless you're all in.
228
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:55,230
When you figure it out,
give me a call.
229
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:58,407
[door shuts]
230
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:01,758
I couldn't help
but overhear.
231
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,587
If you want someone to talk to
about your relationship,
232
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,981
I'd prefer it not be me.
233
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,728
ARTHUR:
Hey, there he is!
234
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,381
How was your big night
with Tavi?
235
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,688
Not great, so don't get your
heart set on those Cubs tickets.
236
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,863
ARTHUR:
Why?
237
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,256
Is it something
in the bedroom?
238
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,519
'Cause I can help you
with that.
239
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,261
No. Tavi's pissed because
she thinks I'm spending
240
00:09:26,304 --> 00:09:27,610
too much time with Sofia.
241
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,744
You know, I can see where
Tavi's coming from.
242
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:33,311
If I was into some guy,
I wouldn't be thrilled
243
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,531
if he was hanging out
with somebody he'd slept with.
244
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,752
Yeah. That's why me and
this one never did the deed.
245
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:41,624
We don't want to lose
that great friendship.
246
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:45,236
Yeah... That's why, Tush.
247
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,717
I just don't get why she
suddenly has a problem
248
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,805
with all this, man.
249
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,415
She knows me and Sofia broke up.
250
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:53,549
Well, technically,
you didn't break up.
251
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,291
You wanted more,
and Sofia said no.
252
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,292
She was busy...
253
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,946
I know what she said!
254
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,254
If you want to get technical,
she didn't say no.
255
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,996
She said not now.
256
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,345
Well, if you're still
hanging on to this,
257
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,912
Tavi might have a point.
258
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:11,306
Yeah, if you have any
feelings for Sofia,
259
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:12,307
you better nip it
in the bud.
260
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,917
ARTHUR:
I got your back, kid.
261
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,615
Sofia is banned
from the shop.
262
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:17,921
I'm gonna put up a sign
that says,
263
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,489
"You must be this tall
for donuts."
264
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:23,231
No, she works right outside.
I see her all the time.
265
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,885
And when Sweatpants ain't here,
266
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,930
she's the only one
within 30 years of my age.
267
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:28,105
Ah-heh-hem! Ahem.
268
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,673
Twenty-five.
269
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,674
Fine. All right,
when you see her,
270
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,110
just keep it
light and polite.
271
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:36,244
All right? Stick to sports,
weather and Gremlins.
272
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,463
Gremlins?The movie?
273
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,596
There's a movie?
274
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,425
Look, in this situation,
275
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:44,905
it doesn't matter
what you think.
276
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,080
It's what Tavi thinks.
277
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,385
ARTHUR:
Yeah, you listen
278
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,257
to Randy, kid,
because I really like that Tavi.
279
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,911
And I hope you patch things up.
280
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,478
And I'm not just saying that
because of the luxury box.
281
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:54,697
But if she happens
to bring it up,
282
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,264
can you ask her
if parking is included?
283
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:57,700
Oh, a-and food.
284
00:10:58,788 --> 00:10:59,789
Hey, you know what?
285
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:00,660
You got a lot on your mind.
286
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:01,965
Just the parking?
287
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,926
Tush.
288
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,144
Yes.You were right
289
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:09,103
about those dummies
at the sub shop.
290
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,974
I can't get anybody
to talk to me.
291
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:12,454
Can you give me
a couple pointers?
292
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,586
Yes. It's really simple.
293
00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,980
When people talk to you,
you have to be interested.
294
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,199
Got it.
295
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,591
Pretend to be interested.
296
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:20,723
No.
297
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,507
You really have to care.
298
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:23,595
Right.
299
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:24,901
Pretend to care.
300
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,468
Okay. No. Look,
301
00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:28,426
learning how to connect
with people takes practice.
302
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:31,516
Why don't you go ask Randy
about her daughter in college?
303
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,996
I don't want to interrupt.
304
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,171
I'm sure she'll be fine.
305
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,433
I meant my day.
306
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:38,741
Go. Just... go.
307
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:39,916
[grunts]
308
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,091
Hello, Randy.
309
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:44,094
How's your daughter?
310
00:11:44,138 --> 00:11:45,705
You really want to know?
311
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,623
Okay.
312
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,887
Uh, she started
her sophomore year.
313
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,716
She just declared her major.
314
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,543
TUSH:
Fawz,
315
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,154
do you have
a follow-up question?
316
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,503
Yes.
317
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,200
Are you almost done?
318
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:05,855
You know, it's a wonder
319
00:12:05,899 --> 00:12:08,379
that no one has ever
done this to you yet.
320
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,512
You know, I lived
through three wars.
321
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:13,210
This just reminds me
of my childhood.
322
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:14,385
Fawz!
323
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,560
What?
324
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:16,648
It's your fault
for picking a woman.
325
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,868
You know I never listen to them.
326
00:12:18,912 --> 00:12:20,696
We'll try again. If you
can get through this,
327
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,306
you can get through anything.
328
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:24,308
Arthur? Will you tell Fawz
329
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,832
about that time
that you switched
330
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:29,270
from manila envelopes
to plain white ones?
331
00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,925
It was 1957.
332
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,578
Ike was in the White House,
333
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,885
World War II was in
the rearview mirror,
334
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:38,453
and manila was all the rage.
335
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,585
Oh, dear God.
336
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,589
And I'm looking forward to a
world where we don't see color.
337
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:47,244
We don't see white,
and we don't see manila,
338
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:50,465
we just see envelopes.
339
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:53,120
Did you ever use those envelopes
with the little windows?
340
00:12:53,163 --> 00:12:55,513
I'm a rebel, not a madman.
341
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,952
Hey, Franco.
342
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,605
I've been
dying to know.
343
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,912
How'd it go with Tavi
last night?
344
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,087
Uh, fine.
345
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:05,393
Uh, the usual?
346
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,308
Well, come on, I want details.
347
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,963
If my advice worked,
you're paying for ramen tonight.
348
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,617
Yeah, uh, ramen. Right.
349
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:15,925
Uh, so, look, uh, I don't think
I'll be able to make it tonight.
350
00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,361
Oh, why not?
351
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:18,493
I'm free, Sofia.
352
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:22,149
And I'm all about that ramen.
353
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:25,805
But I got to warn
you: I'm a slurper.
354
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:28,503
Franco, is something wrong?
355
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:31,941
Uh, look,
I just don't think, uh,
356
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:34,683
we should be talking about my
relationship with Tavi anymore.
357
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:36,206
Why not?
358
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,773
'Cause we got in a huge fight.
359
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,340
All right? And she thinks
I still got feelings for you.
360
00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:40,994
SWEATPANTS: Doesn't
have to be ramen.
361
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,647
You know?
362
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,954
Um, a tomato, a chowder...
363
00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:48,001
[gasps]
A hearty alphabet.
364
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,655
What did you tell her?
365
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:51,918
I told her she was wrong.
366
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,223
But I-I still need
to prove there's nothing
367
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,529
going on between you and me.
368
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,487
I love wonton.
369
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,665
I could eat
one ton of wonton.
370
00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,319
[laughs]
371
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:07,847
So are you just canceling ramen
night, or our whole friendship?
372
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:09,674
Look, I don't even know
if she'll take me back.
373
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,067
I-I just...
[sighs]
374
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,330
I just need some time
to figure everything out.
375
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:16,377
Okay, why don't I make it
real easy for you?
376
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,901
You don't have to worry
about seeing me at all.
377
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:19,946
Sofia!
378
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,820
Ooh. That was rough, man.
379
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,866
But hey, I know
what might pick you up.
380
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:28,563
Don't you dare say
any kind of soup.
381
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:31,566
No. I was gonna say
"grab a drink."
382
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,829
I know a soup place
with a great bar.
383
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,185
Hey, Fawz, how'd it go?
Did you make friends
384
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:43,447
with the people
at the sub shop?
385
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,928
You know what?
Because of you, I did.
386
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,365
I smiled, I asked questions,
and I learned so much.
387
00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:50,150
Suzy loves knitting,
388
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:53,718
and Bobby sometimes passes out
when he drives.
389
00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,591
Well, I don't mean to brag,
but it looks like someone
390
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,724
taught you the true value
of friendship.
391
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:02,162
You certainly did, Tush.
392
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:04,860
You stupid, stupid idiot!
393
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,035
What are you hitting me for?
394
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,341
It worked, you made friends.
395
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,429
Exactly.
396
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,039
I can't fire my friends.
397
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,737
How am I gonna run a business
if I can't fire people?
398
00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:14,870
That's the fun part!
399
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:17,351
Well, did you at least find out
who was stealing the cheese?
400
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:18,569
I don't have time.
401
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,310
Thanks to Tush,
I'm playing racquetball
402
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,659
with Bobby on Thursdays,
403
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,923
and Suzy's twins
are turning seven--
404
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,968
I have to go to the party.
405
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:29,276
No one is making you be Brian.
406
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:30,973
Well, if I'm not Brian,
then who's gonna pick up
407
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,366
the cake for the twins?
408
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,979
[quietly]:
Hey. Is Franco here?
409
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,241
No, it's just us.
410
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,547
Oh, good.
Because I've been dying
411
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,722
for my morning coffee.
412
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,376
To go.
413
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,073
Because you're not supposed to
be hanging around here, right?
414
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:46,032
Oh, Franco's just overreacting.
415
00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,859
Is he?
416
00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,385
Why do you come here
all the time?
417
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,301
Boy, I'm really feeling
the love today.
418
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,911
I'm just saying, there...
419
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,479
there's a million
donut shops in Chicago.
420
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:01,917
Ones that are cheaper,
ones that are cleaner.
421
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,093
Ones that are way cleaner.
422
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:06,530
Where am I supposed to go?
423
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,097
I park my truck right out front.
424
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:10,795
And that's the only curb
in Chicago?
425
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,449
What's your point?
426
00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:15,626
I think you have
feelings for Franco.
427
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,628
If I'm wrong,
you should stay away
428
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:20,718
and stop making his life
more complicated.
429
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,765
But if I'm right,
you should tell him.
430
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:26,986
But what about Tavi?
431
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,900
It seems like they're
on the outs right now.
432
00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,424
This is your time.
433
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,991
Life is short.
434
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,905
Just ask Greg Belle
of Mundelein.
435
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:36,821
[gasps]
Oh, dear Lord.
436
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,432
And your window is closing.
437
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:39,911
Don't be like Esther Buchanan.
438
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,784
She was cut in half
439
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,047
by a closing window.
440
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,657
ARTHUR:
You know, I-I think
441
00:16:46,701 --> 00:16:48,529
I might be risking
Cubs tickets, but, uh,
442
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:51,010
Randy is right, Sof.
443
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:55,710
I guess I'm gonna go
tell Franco how I feel.
444
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,114
Well, I think I'm gonna run out,
445
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:10,464
grab a new
driver's license photo.
446
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,161
Wait, wait, wait.
447
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,555
Isn't that Fawz's wig?
448
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,600
What wig?
449
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,692
[knocking at door]
450
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,520
Hey. Thanks for coming.
451
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,696
It was on my way
back from class.
452
00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,089
Those flowers for me?
453
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,351
Yep.
454
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:29,831
Well, in the spirit of honesty,
455
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:32,138
they're from the retirement home
Sweatpants works at.
456
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:35,793
They're, uh, get-well flowers
for Ms. Bernstein.
457
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,230
Did she get well?
458
00:17:37,273 --> 00:17:41,190
More in the spirit
of honesty: no.
459
00:17:41,234 --> 00:17:43,149
What do you want?
460
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,368
Can you take a seat?
461
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:49,372
Thank you.
462
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,982
You were right.
463
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,289
I shouldn't have been talking
to Sofia about our relationship.
464
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,291
But that won't happen
ever again, I promise.
465
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,466
How's that gonna work?
466
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:57,989
You see her every day.
467
00:17:58,033 --> 00:17:59,339
Right, I do.
468
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:01,384
But if she comes in the shop,
u-uh, for a donut,
469
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,386
or a cup of coffee,
I'll just say hello.
470
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,084
And that's it. Nothing more.
471
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,520
Yeah?
Yeah.
472
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,174
I'm all about you and me now.
473
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:11,133
Which is why I want to take you
away this weekend.
474
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,962
I booked us a little trip
to Lake Geneva. My treat.
475
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,486
I found a little awesome condo
facing the lake.
476
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,009
You know? All we got to do
is sit through
477
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,663
a four-hour timeshare
presentation.
478
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,535
A-And then,
the weekend
479
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,624
is just you and me,
just you and me, all right?
480
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,408
A-And then, another two-hour
presentation during brunch.
481
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,889
But only if we want
to use the pool.
482
00:18:27,932 --> 00:18:30,370
Franco, that sounds awful.
483
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,894
Really?
484
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:37,072
Which is great, because there's
no way that was Sofia's idea.
485
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,247
Nah. Nope, it's mine,
it's my idea,
486
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,509
yeah, this trip was all me.
487
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,729
It's all me,
every terrible detail.
488
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:43,296
So what do you say?
489
00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:44,819
I'd love to go.
490
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:45,950
[exhales]
Mwah.
491
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,082
This is dope.
492
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,432
All right, cool,
so we should leave now.
493
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,173
Uh, we got to take
an "L" to a bus
494
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,914
to another bus to get there.
495
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,045
Or, we could take
my dad's plane.
496
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:55,438
I could go pack,
send a car to get you
497
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,744
and meet you at the airport.
498
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:59,268
If you're okay with me
paying for part of it.
499
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,923
Yeah, that's cool,
500
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,272
but that's just transportation.
501
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:05,622
I-I'm taking care
of the condo, the food,
502
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:07,233
and the massages we get
if we just decide
503
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:08,930
to pose for one of their photos
in the brochure.
504
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,151
They don't get a lot
of black people there.
505
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,941
Zale.
506
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,160
What are you doing?
507
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,639
98.2% of door buzzers
508
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:25,207
have traces
of staphylococcal bacteria.
509
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,992
Well, you're showing
those germs who's boss, huh?
510
00:19:28,036 --> 00:19:29,516
[laughs]
511
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,518
Is this exchange over?
512
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,824
I hope so.
513
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,174
Hi, Zale.
514
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,481
Sofia?
Hey.
515
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:41,180
Yes, this exchange is over.
516
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:45,488
What are you doing here?
517
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:46,620
I thought you said that we...
518
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:47,838
I know, uh...
519
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:49,492
But just hear me out.
520
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:53,670
Life is short, and there's
something I need to tell you.
521
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,194
Oh, my ride's here.
522
00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:56,369
Yo, what up, Tony?
523
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:59,198
Oh, your ride.
Where are you going?
524
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:01,983
I'm taking Tavi away
for the weekend. Or...
525
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:04,028
Tavi's dad's driver is taking me
to Tavi's dad's plane
526
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,769
to take Tavi away
for the weekend.
527
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,858
It's the least I could do.
528
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:11,253
Cool, so you guys
patched things up.
529
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,776
Yeah, pretty much.
530
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,215
Well, that's great.
531
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:17,390
Cool.
All right, I'll see you.
532
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:19,305
Okay.
533
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:21,394
Oh. What did you
want to tell me?
534
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:27,443
That I'm gonna give you and Tavi
all the space you need.
535
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:31,317
And she's awesome, and I really
hope it works out for you guys.
536
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,709
Cool.
537
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:33,971
Thank you, Sofia.
Yeah.
538
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:35,146
All right. What's up, Tony?
539
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,278
It's stinky in here, Tony.
540
00:20:36,322 --> 00:20:38,324
What, you smoking
weed or something?
541
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,246
Oh, you're still here.
542
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,117
Oh, don't worry, I'm leaving.
543
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,553
You can go back to cleaning.
544
00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:52,729
Oh, no, I'm meeting
a friend for dinner.
545
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,731
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
546
00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:56,951
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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