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1
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,508
Hey, Arthur, this is
just Christmas stuff.
2
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:09,577
I thought you were gonna
get Hanukkah decorations.
3
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:10,578
Nah, it's too expensive.
4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,213
I'd rather convert.
(laughs)
5
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,447
(laughter)
6
00:00:13,481 --> 00:00:15,416
Only I can make that joke.
7
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,352
Um, excuse me, I don't see
any Kwanzaa decorations.
8
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,487
I'd be happy to
celebrate Kwanzaa.
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,789
What should I put up?
10
00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:24,558
(laughing): Oh, what should
you put up for Kwanzaa?
11
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:28,196
Everybody know you put up
the Kwanzaa tree.
12
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:33,334
And I-I think there's a ham.
13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:37,105
You have absolutely no
idea what Kwanzaa is.
14
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,207
No, but I am sick and tired
of whatever it is
15
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,809
not being represented.
16
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,711
My family doesn't
celebrate Christmas.
17
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,313
We just refer to it
as the time of year
18
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,116
when people get mad
about Starbucks cups.
19
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,783
I'm all about
Christmas this year.
20
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:52,720
I got a job as Santa passing
out flyers at a bike shop.
21
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:55,623
Hmm, got a gig playing
the big guy, huh?
22
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,658
Well, you're looking
at 20 years experience
23
00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,828
slinging them bells.
24
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,131
If you want, I can give you
some Santa pointers,
25
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,799
take you under my wing.
26
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,102
When's the last time you washed
under that wing?
27
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:12,106
Lesson number one:
28
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,375
Let single moms cut
to the front of the line,
29
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,211
but don't let them
spend the night.
30
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:19,313
There's only so much magic
in that suit.
31
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:24,252
Hey. Hey, what's
Pink Panther doing?
32
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,319
Who's that?
33
00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:26,454
He's the homeless guy
34
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:27,688
that camps out
over at the "L."
35
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:29,223
He wears this old, pink hat
36
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:30,658
that he got
at the Women's March,
37
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,860
so we call him Pink Panther.
38
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:35,496
This is weird.
39
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:36,830
He had a nice setup
over this warm vent
40
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,166
at McDonald's.
41
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,168
I get him french fries
every time I go.
42
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:43,204
Then we talk about how much
the Bulls suck.
43
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,605
I wonder why he moved.
44
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:46,274
The Uptown
Business Council.
45
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,576
We got the police to move
all of the homeless people
46
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,278
off the streets
for the holidays.
47
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,180
You're welcome.
48
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:53,647
What is wrong with you?
49
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,149
That's a human being, man.
50
00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:57,151
You can't...
it's freezing outside.
51
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,720
Hey. W-Why don't
you come in, man?
52
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,222
Yeah, come in. Warm up.
53
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,423
I'll buy you a cup of coffee.
54
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,924
Really?
Yeah.
55
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,859
After all, it's Kwanzaa.
56
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,861
What is that again?
57
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,197
I don't know. Um...
58
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,831
But come in, man.
59
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:11,932
Here. Pop a squat.
60
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,201
I'll get you a donut.
61
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,169
I probably shouldn't.
62
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:16,136
What? Nonsense.
Man, here. Take some.
63
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,771
Take as many as you
want, man. There you go.
64
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,209
Oh, what the hell is
Pink Panther doing here?
65
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:23,677
How many times
do I have to tell you?
66
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:24,778
Don't let the homeless in here.
67
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,280
Well, he ain't bothering nobody.
68
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:27,248
I got to run a business here.
69
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,183
It's just one dude.
70
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,185
Until he tells his buddies.
Then the place is swarming
71
00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:32,320
with people looking
for free food.
72
00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,721
That's called
the domino effect.
73
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,889
Because it happened at the
Domino's around the corner.
74
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,425
No.
75
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,261
The homeless thing
is very complicated.
76
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,230
We used to pick them up
when we were on patrol,
77
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,597
drop them off
at the shelter.
78
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,466
Next night they'd be
back out on the street.
79
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,900
Breaks my heart.
80
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,168
Yeah, me, too.
81
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,239
Part of me wants to be a decent
human being and give them food
82
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,907
and the other part of me
wants to be like Arthur.
83
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,943
When did
"decent human being"
84
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,811
become the opposite
of Arthur?
85
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,814
Well, I'm down for helping
the homeless, Franco.
86
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,516
'Cause without me,
you would be homeless?
87
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,219
Maybe my Santa
career will take off
88
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,356
and I won't have to sleep on
your beanbag chair anymore.
89
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:10,591
Maybe you have to sleep
on his beanbag chair
90
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,859
because you say
things like,
91
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,362
"Maybe my Santa career
will take off."
92
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:17,565
It's almost
Christmas, all right?
93
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:18,732
Would it kill us
to show this dude
94
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,934
a little bit of kindness?
95
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,636
Hey, man.
96
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,372
How about a cup of coffee?
97
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,276
He fell asleep.
98
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,977
Look, in the spirit
of Christmas,
99
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,679
I'm gonna skip
the I-told-you-so
100
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,282
and jump right to get him
the hell out of here.
101
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,849
All right.
102
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,386
Hey, man. Yo!
103
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,521
Hey!
104
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,723
(screams)
105
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:46,260
(screams)
106
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,531
I can't find a pulse.
107
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,665
Arthur, call 911.
108
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:52,833
FRANCO:
All right, well,
109
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,335
what-what should we do?
110
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,637
Maybe put him outside as
an example to the others?
111
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,442
What? I thought we
were brainstorming.
112
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,645
*
113
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:17,725
I've never seen a dead body
without bullet holes before.
114
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,360
It's unnatural.
115
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,461
Yeah.
116
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:23,030
It's not exactly
a barrel of laughs,
117
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:27,635
except the time I found
that dead clown in a barrel.
118
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,904
Man, can't believe a dude
119
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,907
died right here in the store.
120
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,610
No, no, no, no!
121
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:38,679
From deliciousness!
122
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:39,947
It...
123
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,649
We got a rule here, kid.
124
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,684
Nobody talks about people
who die in the shop.
125
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,419
What? Why is that a rule?
126
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:48,389
Yeah. How often
does this happen?
127
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:51,058
We knew nothing
about the guy.
128
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,726
Like, did he, did
he have a family?
129
00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,395
Is there anybody
we can contact?
130
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,296
Let's look in his bag.
131
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,734
Let's see. Shirts...
132
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:03,337
one sneaker...
133
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:07,975
a copy of
The 4-Hour Workweek.
134
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,879
Wow. He got it down to zero.
135
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,781
I found a student ID.
136
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,083
From Chicago State, John Dixon.
137
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,551
Class of '76.
138
00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,653
RANDY:
Look, a passport.
139
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,590
Yogurtland punch card.
140
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,725
Tragic.
141
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,661
He was one stamp away
from a free cone.
142
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:33,401
John Dixon, I will fulfill
your destiny.
143
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:36,504
Man, this dude led a full life
we knew nothing about.
144
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,572
School, travel.
145
00:05:38,606 --> 00:05:40,374
And this is how it ends?
146
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:43,677
He deserves something
more dignified, guys.
147
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:45,546
You know something?
148
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,481
We-we should have
a service for him.
149
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,082
You know? Celebrate his life.
150
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,083
I don't know.
151
00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:51,885
You know,
I-I got a lot to do.
152
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,654
It's my annual
Christmas party.
153
00:05:56,624 --> 00:06:00,027
For the first time
and you're all invited.
154
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,995
I've got a lot of
work to do, too.
155
00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,732
Someone complained that my
gingerbread men were too sexist,
156
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,701
so now I have to go home and
castrate a hundred cookies.
157
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,506
Look, uh, I think John would
want us all to just move on.
158
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,507
And how do you know that?
159
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,743
I don't. I just want to move on.
160
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,145
But we can't move on, man.
161
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,147
You don't know what it's like
162
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,783
to have people walk by you
like you don't exist.
And you do?
163
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,785
Yeah. I was homeless.
164
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,620
What? When?
165
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,456
When I was 16.
My dad kicked me out.
166
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,691
I slept in a bus station,
on the "L" train.
167
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,926
I spent a few nights
on the street.
168
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,862
Oh, God, I'm really sorry
to hear that.
169
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:35,929
FRANCO:
It's cool.
170
00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,465
I pulled out of it.
171
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,032
W-When I saw John...
172
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:43,070
(sighs) ...couldn't help but
think that could've been me.
173
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,738
Franco, you're right.
174
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,040
We should do something
to honor his life.
175
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,209
Yeah. Let's have a memorial
here in the shop.
176
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,143
Okay. We can do it tomorrow.
177
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,446
Yeah. It'll be instead
of my Christmas bonus.
178
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,947
(laughing):
Your Christmas bonus?
179
00:06:53,981 --> 00:06:55,849
(laughs)
180
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,085
Okay, fine.
181
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,853
(laughing):
A homeless funeral.
182
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:02,723
When I tell my family
in Iraq about these things,
183
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,892
they never believe me.
184
00:07:10,197 --> 00:07:11,465
ARTHUR:
Okay, tick-tock.
185
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:16,704
Let's honor a man's life and
get home for Celebrity Jeopardy.
186
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,739
Hey, where's Sweatpants?
187
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,008
In the bathroom,
trying on his new Santa suit.
188
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,876
I want to be here to help.
189
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,945
One year, my belly
slid into my pants.
190
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,147
It looked like I had
a medical problem.
191
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,717
Hey, you wore black.
192
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,051
That's cool.
193
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,187
Yes. Out of respect.
194
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,823
You're going out after
this, aren't you?
195
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,525
Yup.
196
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,760
Let's do this.
197
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800
We are gathered here today
198
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,903
to celebrate the life
of John Dixon.
199
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,139
World traveler, student,
200
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,575
fan of yogurts.
201
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:59,079
Let's all, uh,
202
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,849
bow our heads in a moment
of silence for John.
203
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,251
(door opens)
204
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,921
Yo, yo, yo.
205
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,794
(imitates DJ):
Sica-sica-sica-Santa Claus
in the hica-house!
206
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,733
Oh, is that funeral thing
happening right now?
207
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:21,769
What the hell is this?
That's not Santa.
208
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,003
That's Santa's DJ.
209
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:26,840
Put my own spin on it.
210
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,842
Yeah, well,
none of it's regulation.
211
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,177
Where's the beard?
212
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,612
Where's the coat?
213
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,747
And are you on something?
214
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,916
'Cause that twinkle in your eye
is not natural.
215
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,852
I like it.
216
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,020
Cool Santa's hot.
217
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,789
Yeah?
218
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,658
Well, have you been
naughty or nice?
219
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,629
Because Santa's
good with both.
220
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,663
Santa, please.
221
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,132
ARTHUR:
Hey, Fawz.
222
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,667
You been filming this?
223
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,669
It's a hobo funeral attended
by a hip-hop Santa.
224
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:01,274
I'm telling you, you're
gonna be famous in Fallujah.
225
00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:06,046
As I was saying, we are here
to pay respects to John Dixon.
226
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,883
He had so little
and we have so much.
227
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:13,253
Yeah. You know, I used
to drive by in my patrol car
228
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:17,024
and think, "I should bring him
some blankets or clothes,"
229
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,859
but I never did.
230
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,794
And I knew so many people
in the food business,
231
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,796
I could've helped him
find some odd job.
232
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,332
Yeah, I should've let him
come in here and warm up.
233
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,034
Maybe use the bathroom.
234
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,602
Why do you feel bad?
235
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,605
He spent every dollar
you gave him on froyo.
236
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,173
Know what?
237
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,975
Let's raise a mug.
238
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,745
To John Dixon.
239
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:40,614
Wish you were
still here, man.
240
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,815
Your wish came true.
241
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:45,919
(screams)
242
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,622
I know, my hair is a mess.
243
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:51,625
John, how can you be alive?
244
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,260
I-I couldn't find a pulse.
245
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,028
Well, neither
could the EMTs.
246
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,930
Your tax dollars at work,
am I right?
247
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,333
I'm diabetic and
I went into a coma.
248
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:04,337
But they didn't figure that out
until I got into the ER.
249
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,006
I'm sorry, man.
250
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,641
I didn't, I shouldn't have
given you those damn donuts.
251
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:09,643
It's-it's not your fault.
252
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,011
I mean, it is.
You killed me.
253
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,716
But for only, like,
three minutes. I mean...
254
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:19,019
Guess I'll get my stuff.
255
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,822
Hey, which one of you jerks
was going through my stuff?
256
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,658
I had a valuable pair
257
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,860
of 2009 New Year's Eve glasses.
258
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,664
The zeroes were eyes.
259
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:33,100
Hey, uh, we-we
can't let him go.
260
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,301
He's got a second chance.
261
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,269
I mean, we-we've got
a second chance.
262
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,204
To do what?
263
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,872
To do all that stuff
we said about wishing
264
00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,974
how we could help him.
And now we can.
265
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,042
Oh, right. We...
266
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,144
W-We did say all that.
Mm-hmm.
267
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,146
Now, um...
268
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,917
(quietly):
Do we think John heard that?
269
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,284
Yeah, I've got work to do.
270
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,953
And it's three days
before Christmas.
271
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,087
Exactly.
272
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,455
I-It's the perfect time
to help him.
273
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,058
Randy, you can help him
find some new clothes. Uh...
274
00:10:58,091 --> 00:11:00,060
Sofia, you can help him
find a job, right?
275
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,428
And Arthur, you can let him
use the bathroom
276
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,763
like you said you would.
277
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,766
I did?
278
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,801
I don't remember that.
279
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,703
Oh, no, you did,
I, uh, recorded it.
280
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:12,039
Fawz!
281
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,075
Hey, hey, John, John,
r-real quick, um...
282
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,944
Uh, what's your schedule
like the next few days?
283
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,012
It's pretty full.
Okay, well...
284
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,347
W-We want to help you.
285
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,349
I can move some things around.
286
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,317
All right! Come on, man.
287
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,320
I'm gonna give them back,
but, uh...
288
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,357
Am I right?
289
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,498
Okay. So you're saying
if he gets a job,
290
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,467
then he's eligible
for transitional housing?
291
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:44,237
Okeydokey, smoky, all right!
292
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,439
Okay. And good day to
you, too, kind sir.
293
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,308
All right. Did
you hear that?
294
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:50,978
Yeah, you're kind of a dork
on the phone.
295
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:53,847
No, we got to find him a job.
296
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:56,116
Yo, Sofia, how's the
résumé coming along?
297
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,885
Well, there's not much
to work with.
298
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,419
His last job
was "grocery bagger,"
299
00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:03,190
and his references
are "They're all liars."
300
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,760
Bup. Maybe I can help.
301
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,328
As a veteran of the gig economy,
302
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:11,198
I've had to dress up
a couple résumés.
303
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,334
Okay. Under "work experience,"
he has "eating."
304
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,770
Food taster.
305
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:17,537
And "begging."
306
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,073
Venture capitalist.
307
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,942
And "pushing a shopping cart."
308
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,243
Train conductor.
309
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,512
(imitates train whistle)
310
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,915
Best Christmas ever.
311
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:29,549
Where are your flyers?
312
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,517
Gave them all away.
313
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,019
Are those yours?
314
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,888
Yeah, I, uh,
haven't started yet.
315
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,256
But I just saw you out front.
316
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:39,226
Nope. Must've been
a different guy.
317
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,560
Santa!
318
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,929
Ho, ho, ho...
319
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,463
Hey!
320
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,466
Hey, shorty.
321
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,801
You been good?
322
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:48,435
Not really.
323
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,803
It don't matter.
324
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:51,504
I'm-a still hook you up.
325
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,073
Thanks, Santa!
326
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,075
I don't get it.
Why'd she run to you?
327
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,409
Less is more, baby.
328
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,511
I can do more with one "ho"
than you can with three.
329
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,015
Maple cream.
330
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:04,317
Make it a double!
331
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:06,486
Okay, what, you had a tough time
finding him an interview suit?
332
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,055
RANDY: We went
to five stores,
333
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,991
and he couldn't find
anything he liked.
334
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,026
Nothing flattered my silhouette.
335
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:16,129
Just because I live in a box
336
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,398
doesn't mean
I got to look like one.
337
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:19,833
It's cool, John,
don't worry about it.
338
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:21,034
We'll find you something.
339
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:23,270
Well, how's my résumé coming?
340
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,840
Oh, uh, well, I'm just working
on the "skills" section.
341
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:28,175
Just trying to find
a more presentable way to say
342
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,211
"Kicking ass and taking names."
343
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:33,613
Is that the font you're using?
344
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,882
Mm-hmm.
Helvetica?
345
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,549
Oh, hell no.
346
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,620
Oh, free coffee!
347
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,322
(laughing):
Yeah.
348
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,623
Yeah, free for you, John.
349
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,557
Everybody else pays for it.
350
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,059
It's a big part of my income.
351
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:47,227
Ah...
352
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,896
(retches)
353
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,130
Oh!
354
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,365
This is terrible.
355
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,367
(groans)
356
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,503
People pay for that?
357
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,907
Is it just me,
or is this guy a dick?
358
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,344
Maybe he's a dick because
he lives out on the streets
359
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,446
and people treat him
like garbage.
360
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,481
Well, now he's treating us
like garbage.
361
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,584
And Helvetica
is a very professional font.
362
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:13,253
Okay, l-let's just take a second
363
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,155
and remember why
we're all doing this.
364
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,961
I'm drawing a blank.
Let's kick him out of here.
365
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,396
Can't we just find some shelter
366
00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,565
and write him a check?
Yes.
367
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:29,202
Can't Sofia just find him some
shelter and write him a check?
368
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,440
I-If you want to donate, great,
then donate.
369
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,642
But all he needs is a job
so he can get the housing.
370
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,144
Who's gonna hire that guy?
371
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,646
Maybe some big-hearted
business owner,
372
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:43,616
uh, filled with
the spirit of Hanukkah?
373
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,453
If you think Irv Saltzman's
gonna-- You talking about me?
374
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,288
No, no, no. Forget that. Uh-uh.
375
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,690
Just for a couple of days.
376
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,225
He can dress up like Santa,
377
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,928
a-and stand outside
and pass out flyers.
378
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,629
Why are we busting our humps
for him? He's so ungrateful.
379
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,065
Who cares?
380
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,599
You think this
is about us feeling good?
381
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,702
No. I-It's about helping
somebody who needs it.
382
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:06,439
Even if they don't smile
or say "thank you."
383
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:07,574
(quietly):
Okay, okay, fine.
384
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:08,708
Thank you.
385
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,143
He's gonna bring in customers.
386
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,212
He has a certain charm
about himself.
387
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,414
You're sitting in my seat.
388
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:19,987
Somebody died in that booth.
389
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,725
Tattoos! Get your
Christmas tattoos!
390
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:29,162
Buy two, get a free piercing.
391
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,630
Merry Christmas
to you, man. Hey!
392
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,399
Feliz Navidad!
393
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,167
Hey, what's up, man? Hey, man.
394
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,269
Happy Hanukkah, Irv.
395
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,138
What are you doing here?
396
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,140
My job.
397
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,674
No, no. Hey. I've been
on the same corner
398
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,110
every Christmas since '98.
399
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,577
I've got seniority.
400
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,180
Yeah, well, I've got
popu-lority. Hey.
401
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,182
When I say "Fa, la,"
y'all say "La."
402
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,317
Fa, la.
403
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,418
ALL: La!
Fa, la.
404
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,987
La!
405
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,624
(chuckles)
406
00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,758
Really?
407
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,993
Whoa.
408
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,294
And it's old St. Nick.
409
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,763
Did you see a guy
named John back there?
410
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,598
I'm John.
411
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,400
What? I didn't...
412
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:08,701
I didn't recognize you.
413
00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,237
You just saw me
walk in that bathroom.
414
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,039
What's wrong with you?
415
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,042
And off we go!
416
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,113
Donuts?
417
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:23,016
Some kind of deal on donuts.
418
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:25,118
Hey, man, we got a
surplus of Santas here.
419
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,586
If you want, there's
an empty sidewalk
420
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:27,720
in front of the Clip'n'Go.
421
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,589
Yeah, homie, keep it moving.
422
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,192
And what if I don't?
423
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,598
Hey, man. Thanks
for giving John that job.
424
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,100
Oh, sure.
425
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,169
That guy's been pushed
around by life.
426
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,037
Right? You know, sometimes,
427
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,738
people just need
the kindness of strangers
428
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,374
to move them
in the right direction.
429
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,709
You know?
It really gives me hope.
430
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,585
Mommy, the Santas are fighting!
431
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,752
Oh, come on!
432
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,488
Damn it, John!
433
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,723
Hey! Stop! Stop! Stop.
434
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:06,059
Stop, stop. Come on.
435
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,195
Get in. What are you doing?
What-- what the hell
436
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,130
is going on out there?
437
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,332
We were having
a holly, jolly conversation,
438
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:14,134
and then he got in our faces.
439
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,136
Come on, man, John.
I-I stood up for you, man.
440
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,504
I-I was just doing my job.
441
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,605
Yeah, well, not anymore.
442
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:19,706
You're fired.
443
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:20,807
What?
444
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,376
You can't fire Santa.
445
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,811
Oh. Hey, no.
446
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,846
Uh-- he-- hey, he's
just Santa's helper.
447
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,681
Oh, h-he... We're sending
him back to the North Pole
448
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:33,086
for some anger
management classes.
449
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,621
You know what?
450
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,256
I don't need your help.
451
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,691
But I will take
the suit as payment.
452
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,097
Hey, listen, I'm sorry, kid,
but he crossed the line.
453
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,398
I'm out.
RANDY:
Yep.
454
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:46,533
Me, too.
455
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:50,237
You ever have a man grab
your sack and beat you with it?
456
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,272
It's humiliating.
457
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,773
We tried. He's impossible.
458
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,108
Sorry.
459
00:17:55,142 --> 00:17:57,110
Well, you know what?
460
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,645
Let me guess.
461
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,613
(imitating Franco):
He's a human being, man.
462
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,815
He needs our help, man.
463
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,717
No.
464
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,353
I'm done with him, too.
465
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,255
Really?
Yeah.
466
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,123
Maybe y'all are right. Maybe...
467
00:18:10,157 --> 00:18:11,824
Maybe he is a lost cause.
468
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:15,728
Oh, well, look, Franco.
469
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,798
Maybe we can find
some other homeless guy to help.
470
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:20,833
You know, like that guy
over in the park
471
00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:24,504
who teaches Pilates
to the squirrels?
472
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,306
No, I ain't dragging y'all
into that.
473
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,407
Franco, come on.
474
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,609
No. Wha-wha... it
was a stupid idea.
475
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,145
I-I never should've
gotten involved.
476
00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:33,780
Wow.
477
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,315
He's really taking it hard.
478
00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:36,816
Yeah.
479
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:40,320
Even his hair seems sad.
480
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,655
I feel terrible we let him down.
481
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,824
Well, you should.
He's giving up.
482
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,560
Franco can't give up.
We need his idealism.
483
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:51,298
Fawz, I've never seen
this side of you before.
484
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,933
I mean, who am I gonna mock?
485
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,904
Making fun of his ridiculous
optimism is my jam.
486
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:00,907
You idiots!
487
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,509
You broke Franco!
488
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,330
(indistinct chatter)
489
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,933
What the hell's going on?
490
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:30,637
Well, we felt really bad
about giving up on John.
491
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,405
So we decided to throw a party
492
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,840
for our friends
from the neighborhood.
493
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,942
Wha... You-you did this for me?
494
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,344
Nope. You were right.
495
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,411
This shouldn't be about us.
496
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,913
It should be about helping
people who really need it.
497
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,183
Some with hepatitis.
498
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:46,819
SOFIA: We don't
want you losing
499
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,455
your optimism.
500
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,923
This is great, man.
This is a Kwanzaa miracle!
501
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:52,959
I think.
502
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:57,330
And, by the way, let's say hi
to our guest of honor.
503
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,266
FRANCO:
Hey!
504
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,667
Who is this handsome devil?
505
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,001
Hey, it's me. John.
506
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,271
Are you blind?
507
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,906
Y-You-- you look great, dude.
508
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:07,907
We got him a coat.
509
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,709
And I got him a job.
510
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:10,910
Are you serious?
Yes!
511
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,479
With the Business Council.
512
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:14,781
He goes around and makes
sure that all the businesses
513
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,283
are following the rules.
514
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,985
The perfect job for a dick.
515
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,019
You know it!
516
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,020
(laughs)
517
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,391
And, uh, you have
a light bulb out in the alley.
518
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,559
And a loose lid on the dumpster.
519
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:28,261
Don't ask me how I know that.
520
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:33,833
Man, this-this proves there's
no such thing as a lost cause.
521
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,504
And if we all come together,
we can... we can do anything.
522
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,006
Mm. I'm glad I still
have the mask on.
523
00:20:40,039 --> 00:20:41,874
It's keeping the vomit in.
524
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,947
Franco's back.
525
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,682
(crying):
God bless us, everyone.
526
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,852
Aw, come here, man.
527
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,589
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
528
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,625
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
36708
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