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1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:04,305
Good morning!
Who wants pie? Maya, Randy?
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,440
Guy with a serious face
but a whimsical scarf?
3
00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,377
Why are you coming
to a donut shop with pie?
4
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,745
It's 8:00 a.m.
5
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,115
What, can't a guy treat himself
to a little breakfast pie?
6
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,384
Nadine broke up with him.
RANDY: Oh, no.
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:17,718
What happened?
8
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,220
No idea.
She just called me up
9
00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:20,654
after two months of dating
and said it's over.
10
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:21,822
But it's cool.
11
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,591
It's not cool.
He's devastated.
12
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,093
Not devastated.
13
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,494
Fine. Despondent.
14
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,596
I... I'm not despondent.
15
00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,531
I mean, yeah, sure,
I just finished a painting
16
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:31,699
of our bodies
merged together forever,
17
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,635
but I'll just set it on fire.
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,737
Just like Nadine did
to his heart. Cherry?
19
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:38,339
Please.
20
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,541
So meet my new
girlfriend: pie.
21
00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:42,576
You ain't never gonna leave me.
22
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,247
I know I should
feel sad for him.
23
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,117
But now there's gonna be more
Franco-Sweatpants time.
24
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:52,220
We can finally take that trip
up to Michigan wine country.
25
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,288
Will you guys watch my laptop?
26
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,256
I have to
feed the meter.
27
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:57,325
My dad says if I get
one more parking ticket
28
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,859
he's gonna stop
making my car payments,
29
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,429
and this is not the relatable
problem I thought it was
30
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,596
when I started talking.
31
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,268
So if somebody comes in
and grabs her laptop and runs,
32
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,869
we're supposed to chase 'em?
33
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,704
Yeah, we hang out
in a donut shop.
34
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,307
What kind of shape
does she think we're in?
Yeah.
35
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,110
Maya's always banging away
36
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:18,179
on that dissertation.
37
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,548
Wonder what it's about?
38
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,484
Probably boring young girl stuff
nobody cares about. (chuckles)
39
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,718
Hey, our names are in here.
40
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,388
Let me see, let me see,
let me see.
41
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,458
This whole thing's about us.
42
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:33,761
"Superior Donuts: A Case Study
on the Effects of Gentrification
43
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,230
on Interclass Social Bonding."
44
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:37,431
So all the time she's been
hanging out here,
45
00:01:37,465 --> 00:01:38,732
she's been writing about us?
46
00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:39,667
Hey, come on,
what are you doing?
47
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,334
You're not supposed to be
reading that.
48
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,869
Oh, yeah, that's an invasion
49
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,172
of her privacy.
According to this,
50
00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,341
she's been
invading our privacy all year.
51
00:01:47,375 --> 00:01:49,510
Fawz, you're in here.
52
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:53,281
"Fawz Al-Shahrani
is a ruthless businessman..."
53
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,316
She gets me.
54
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,720
"...who is so devoid
of compassion and humanity
55
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,823
he's incapable of forming
meaningful friendships."
56
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,526
That's a little strong.
57
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:06,794
Right?
58
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:08,329
Hello?
59
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,697
Anyone?
60
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:12,500
All right, here's me.
61
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,802
"Carl Tushinski
is a disenfranchised
62
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,705
"middle-aged male,
unable to get a full-time job,
63
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:20,741
cast adrift in a world
that's passed him by."
64
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,880
I got lost in the words,
but her tone seems hurtful.
65
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,684
Look, I know it's cool
to learn what a schoolgirl
66
00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:33,354
with no life experience
thinks about you,
67
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,389
but just walk away.
68
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,925
Randy, she calls you
69
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,927
"warm and nurturing, the bridge
70
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,596
that connects the inhabitants
of the shop."
71
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,964
That's so sweet!
72
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,267
Scooch over.
73
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,336
You sure she doesn't say
Sweatpants is the bridge?
74
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,438
She doesn't mention
my name in there anywhere.
75
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:54,242
And I've been through so much,
with the... the... blonde girl.
76
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:56,444
Here comes Maya.
Maya!
77
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,547
FRANCO: All right,
if anybody wants
78
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,715
some pie, I left it
in the kitchen. I've had enough.
79
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,551
Just like Nadine
had enough of me.
80
00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:05,286
Maybe she'd like me more
if I was a pie.
81
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:08,789
That's impossible,
you're not a pie. You a man.
82
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,791
How do you know you're
having a breakdown, you know?
83
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:13,294
I'm gonna have some more pie.
84
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,329
*
85
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,436
I can't believe Maya
didn't me put in her paper.
86
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,538
I got to get another
look at that computer.
87
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,374
I told you last night,
let it go.
88
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,876
Maybe I should
hack her mainframe.
89
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,611
Only problem is
90
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,614
I don't know how to hack.
91
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,650
And I'm not sure
what a mainframe is.
92
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,752
Why do you care
what Maya thinks?
93
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,321
Because she's just
so judgey.
94
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,989
Like a pecker bird who just
peck, peck, peck, peck,
95
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,657
peck, peck, peck, peck.
Uh, thank you, thank you.
96
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:45,526
I know what a pecker is.
97
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,727
Uh, pecking birds.
98
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,761
Uh, woodpeck...
99
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,732
She doesn't know me.
I'm perfectly capable
100
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:53,667
of being friends
with someone.
101
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,603
Hey, Sweatypants,
where you from?
102
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:57,338
Um, you know, actually, I was
born in Maryland, and I was...
103
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,307
See? Friends.
104
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,543
And I can totally
hold down a regular job.
105
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,278
That's why I got the want ads.
106
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:07,715
I'm just gonna circle anything
that's promising, and I'm done.
107
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,817
What happened to the want ads?
108
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,720
The Internet. But you know what,
I can set you up a profile
109
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,987
on one of those
job search Web sites.
110
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:16,957
And while I'm at it, I'll just
swing by Nadine's Facebook page
111
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,492
and see what she's up to.
112
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:21,662
Oh, look,
the bitch is having sushi.
113
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,297
Hi, guys.
114
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:24,665
Morning, Maya.
115
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,066
Here, have a donut.
116
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,302
I only had one bite.
117
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,039
Listen, Arthur said he's gonna
turn off the water later,
118
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,308
so if you got
to go to the bathroom,
119
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,609
you should go now.
120
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:40,013
I'm... I'm-I'm good, but thanks.
121
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,049
Suit yourself.
122
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,424
You know what,
better safe than sorry.
123
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,460
Good thinking.
Brilliant.
124
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:55,028
Okay, find Sweatpants.
125
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,797
Nothing.
126
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,467
Maybe she spelled Sweatpants
with two words.
127
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,669
A lot of my mail
comes that way.
128
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:03,036
ARTHUR:
Hey, hey!
129
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,938
What did I tell you?
Get away from there.
130
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,841
That's easy for you to say,
you're all over this thing.
131
00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:10,411
"A curmudgeonly father figure.
A widower.
132
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,745
"He once told me
that every Sunday
133
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,681
he takes flowers
to his late wife's grave."
134
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:16,049
Oh! You are so lucky.
135
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,051
I didn't know that.
136
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,853
Well, now you do.
137
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,722
Well, is that where you
rush off to every Sunday?
138
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:22,923
What's with the third degree?
139
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,058
You know, some things
are private, okay?
140
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,862
Oh, God,
are you still doing this?
141
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,498
FRANCO:
You know, there's a lot of stuff
142
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,799
in that computer I never heard.
143
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,033
You know, like,
did you know Arthur
144
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,702
visits Joanie's grave
every Sunday?
145
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,970
Oh, that's really sweet.
146
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,708
Also impossible,
since Joanie was cremated.
147
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,443
What?
Yeah.
148
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:43,944
I was there when Arthur
spread her ashes
149
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,713
over Wrigley Field.
150
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,080
It was so beautiful.
151
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:49,016
And kind of gross.
152
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,952
Some of it blew back
on our nachos.
Ugh.
153
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:55,756
Why would he tell that to Maya?
154
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,926
And, more importantly, where
is he going off every Sunday?
155
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,928
Definitely suspicious.
156
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,733
96, 97,
157
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:09,169
98... Oh, hey, Maya.
158
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,672
99, 100.
159
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,443
Sweatpants.
160
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,844
One word.
161
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,818
Okay, kid, time
to close up.
162
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,621
And don't forget to dump
the day-old donuts.
163
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,557
* Day-olds!
164
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,892
* Day-olds!
165
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,728
Hey, it's nice to see you
getting over your breakup.
166
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:38,699
* Nadine dumped me,
said I had to go home. *
167
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,835
Spoke too soon.
168
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,571
All right,
it's Sunday night.
169
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,938
He's getting ready
to leave.
170
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,541
Have you seen any clues
as to where he disappears to?
171
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,843
No. I mean, I think
it's just so weird
172
00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,145
that he would lie about
where his wife is buried.
173
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,781
I mean, what else
has he lied about?
174
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,784
Is his last name
even Przybyszewski?
175
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,919
I don't think that's something
you'd lie about.
176
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,688
Mmm.
177
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,123
This whole thing
is so unlike him.
178
00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,759
It's not like
he's a man of mystery.
179
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,962
Even though he is shaped
like a question mark.
180
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:13,967
Jake.
181
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,503
Arthur.
182
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,937
What are you
doing here?
183
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,772
I was in the neighborhood.
184
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,842
I thought we could
take a little walk.
185
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,911
Okay.
186
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:28,749
Who the hell was that?
187
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,951
I don't know, but we
better follow him
188
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,953
before Arthur's sleeping
with the gefilte fishes.
189
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:33,987
Okay.
190
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,025
RANDY: I don't see him.
You sure he came this way?
191
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,560
FRANCO:
Yeah.
192
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,595
Saw him come down these steps.
193
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,598
Man, why is Arthur
in a Catholic church anyway?
194
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,867
I thought he went
to Jewish church.
195
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,604
Well, maybe he's doing a little
religion comparison shopping.
196
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,272
People his age
do that when they get closer
197
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,141
to the check-out line.
Mm-hmm.
198
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,610
Maybe he's in here.
Let's look.
199
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,612
Oh, no, no. Uh-uh.
I feel a little weird
200
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,881
spying on someone in church.
201
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,115
When I was in the ninth grade
202
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,851
I was making out
with Tony Delvecchio
203
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,219
in the confessional
when the priest came in.
204
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,622
Then I had to confess my sins
205
00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:11,992
while simultaneously
committing at least three more.
206
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,530
So I figure
I'm on thin ice with God.
207
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:19,032
Wow. Well, I'm not.
Me and God are like this!
208
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,636
MAN: And that, my friends,
is a true story.
209
00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,173
He's in a circle
with a bunch of people.
210
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,741
(laughter, applause)
211
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,677
Now they laughing and clapping.
212
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,912
Oh... Oh, this is worse
than I thought.
213
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,816
I think Arthur's
taking an improv class.
214
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:38,018
WOMAN:
Thanks for the share, Bob.
215
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,319
Who'd like to go next?
216
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,722
Okay.
217
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,724
Uh, hi, my name is Arthur,
218
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,292
and I've got a gambling problem.
219
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,627
ALL:
Hi, Arthur.
220
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,828
ARTHUR:
It's been four years since
221
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,729
I placed my last bet.
222
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,931
And I only miss it
during the playoffs.
223
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,733
And the regular season.
224
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,568
And the preseason.
225
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,903
And the draft.
226
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,340
It's a support group.
227
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,242
Arthur's a gambler.
228
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,278
You mean like Kenny Rogers?
229
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,048
Uh, let's get out of here.
I never should've come. Come on.
230
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,585
No, no, no, no, no.
You're in the right place.
231
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:13,120
We're gonna help you
get through this.
232
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,823
No, no, man, I was just
checking up on my friend, man.
233
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,626
I don't have a problem.
Ah. That's what they all say.
234
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,927
Randy?
235
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,596
Sorry. I'm a bridge, not a spy.
236
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,834
Hey, everybody.
I got a newcomer.
237
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,935
Franco.
238
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,937
ALL:
Hi, Franco.
239
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,772
What the hell you doing here?
240
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,907
I walked in the wrong room.
241
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,575
It's... What are the odds?
242
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,078
Sorry.
243
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,681
But it won't happen again,
you can bet on that.
244
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,984
I'm leaving now.
245
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,027
Good morning.
Donut and coffee to go, please.
246
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,395
To go?
Yes, sir.
247
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,898
I got a full-time job
at a call center.
248
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:01,001
You are looking at a
customer service representative.
249
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,903
Oh? Of what?
250
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,906
I have no idea.
251
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,041
But I would be happy
to transfer you to someone
252
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,878
who can answer
all of your questions.
253
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,249
Oh, you're looking good, Tush.
254
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,385
You got a court date
in a small Southern town?
255
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,790
It's from the fancy section
at Kohl's.
256
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,291
It's behind the luggage,
257
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,993
so a lot of people miss it.
Oh.
258
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,329
Morning.
259
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:34,201
Look, I ran off last night
before I could tell you...
260
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:35,302
I'm sorry.
261
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,138
Well, you should be.
And you had no right
262
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,306
to trail me.
263
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,374
At least
you're not doing improv.
264
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,144
You don't have
to hide anymore, Arthur.
265
00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,146
I'm glad you're getting help.
266
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,080
If there's something
I could do to help you...
267
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,082
Look, that's none
of your business, okay?
268
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,017
But we're friends, man.
269
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,251
I tell you everything.
270
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,686
Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't.
271
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,054
That's the trouble
with your generation.
272
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,924
You need to share every detail
of your lives.
273
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,727
"Here's a selfie
of me and my patty melt.
274
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,330
Aren't I fascinating?"
275
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:04,798
That was hurtful.
276
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,066
Look, I'm just
saying that
277
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,135
there has to be some boundaries
between you and I, all right?
278
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,037
I'm the boss,
you're the employee.
279
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,239
We don't have
to tell each other everything.
280
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,741
Fine.
281
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:17,010
And FYI, that patty melt
was delicious.
282
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:25,185
Coffee to go, please.
283
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:26,887
Tush, my good friend.
284
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,722
Tell me
how your new job is going.
285
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:32,092
TUSH:
Okay,
286
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:34,027
but I'm on a 15-minute break.
287
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,796
It would've been a
20, but somebody
288
00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,866
took Fat Shirley's macaroni
salad from the fridge,
289
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,901
and Regular Shirley's
getting the blame.
290
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,403
So, of course, Gay Ted
called a meeting about it.
291
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,939
Delightful. Can you please
put that in an e-mail
292
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:48,876
so that I can savor
all the details?
293
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,143
(chuckles)
Oh, thank you.
294
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,344
Bye, Fawz.
295
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,181
Get off my back! I'm trying!
296
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:59,953
You know, I can't believe
Arthur kept this secret from me.
297
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,955
I thought we were
supposed to be friends.
(scoffs)
298
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,256
You mean the way
you were my friend
299
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:05,125
when you ditched me
in a church basement?
300
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,427
That's how horror movies start.
301
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,465
Nadine.
302
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,801
Franco.
303
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,338
Sorry I haven't returned
your calls.
304
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,907
It's cool.
305
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,108
It's all right.
306
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,109
Just thought you, uh,
lost your phone
307
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:25,278
or choked on a piece of sushi
or something.
308
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,181
What I need to say to you,
309
00:12:28,215 --> 00:12:29,983
I need to say in person.
310
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:35,288
(clears throat)
And in private?
311
00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:37,224
All right,
let's go in the kitchen.
312
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:42,162
Hmm.
313
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:45,432
Gee, I, uh, wonder
what's going on in there.
314
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,868
Maybe I should go in
and do my bridge thing.
315
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,369
No, no, no, no.
316
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,171
She wanted privacy.
317
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,273
I know how to find out
what's going on.
318
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,507
You're not going in there,
are you?
319
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,276
Arthur, give me some credit.
320
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:58,145
I'm going to hold this
up to the door and listen.
321
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,880
No, no. No, you're not.
322
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:00,981
Come on, Arthur.
323
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:02,049
This is more exciting
324
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,518
than the time Gay Ted
brought his wife to work.
325
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:08,088
Now look, they went in there
because they wanted privacy,
326
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,891
and that's exactly what we're...
327
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,292
What?
ARTHUR:
It's Nadine.
328
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,427
I think she's crying.
329
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:17,264
And that's none of our business.
330
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,299
Wow.
331
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,334
She's really losing it.
But that's between them.
332
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,438
Oh.
333
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,307
I mean, full-on waterworks.
334
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,243
No, Sweatpants.
335
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,444
Get a bigger one.
336
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,850
I'm sorry. It's just...
337
00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,152
It's so hard to tell you.
338
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,620
Just come out and say it.
339
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,022
(inhales)
340
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,157
Franco...
341
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,625
I'm pregnant.
342
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,427
(glass breaks)
343
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,462
What? What happened?
344
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:50,964
One of them is pregnant.
345
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,599
And I think it's Nadine.
346
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,174
Franco and Nadine
are having a baby.
347
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,475
No, they can't.
348
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,377
They're so young.
349
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,313
Well, sure,
they start out young,
350
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,282
but before you know it,
they're walking and talking...
351
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,150
No.
352
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,586
I'm talking about
Franco and Nadine.
353
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,022
They're not ready for this.
354
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,489
Ha! Tell me about it.
355
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:20,060
I mean, the four of us
in that tiny studio apartment?
356
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,462
And you know who's going
to end up doing all the work.
357
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:26,299
I just hope Franco knows
what he's getting into.
358
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,101
I mean, how well
can he even know...
359
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,937
Nadine! (chuckles)
360
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,539
Hey, girl.
361
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,307
Hey, Arthur.
362
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:35,642
Yeah.
(sniffles)
363
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,579
I don't think
those were tears of joy.
364
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,585
Why does everyone
look so shocked?
365
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,387
Nadine's pregnant.
366
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,290
Come on, Fawz, you can do this.
367
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,992
Really?!
368
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,329
FAWZ:
Franco, I just heard
369
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,131
about your baby.
370
00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,167
Congratulations, man!
371
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,039
How do you even know a...
372
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,707
Were you listening
to my conversation?
373
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,909
No, I heard it from Tush.
374
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:12,579
You were eavesdropping?
375
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,381
Uh, Arthur told me.
376
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,483
You were eavesdropping?
377
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,617
No.
378
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,186
Okay, yeah.
379
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,990
I heard crying,
so I got concerned.
380
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,557
I mean,
this is life-changing, kid.
381
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,126
I-If you want
to talk about it...
382
00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,094
I don't.
383
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,661
I'm-a tell you the same thing
384
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,730
you told me three hours ago.
385
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,000
You're the boss,
I'm the employee.
386
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:34,601
It's none of your damn business.
387
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:35,969
Hey, you're the guy
that followed me
388
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,237
to my gamblers' group.
389
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,638
Oh, you like to gamble?
'Cause I got some guys
390
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,607
I play poker with
if you want in.
391
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,442
No.
392
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:43,610
What's the buy in?
393
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:46,479
He meant a support group.
394
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,981
Well, how do you know that?
395
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,349
Were you spying on me, too?
396
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:51,418
Y-Yeah, but only because...
397
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,454
What did you tell him?
398
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,090
What, there's no respect
for privacy in this place?
399
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:58,425
Yeah.
400
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,162
Looks like this place
could use some boundaries.
401
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,697
Randy, I thought
you were better than that.
402
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,200
Yeah, and I thought
you were my friend.
403
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:10,203
Why would you lie about going
to visit Joanie's grave?
404
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,238
When did I say that?
405
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,173
In Maya's dissertation.
406
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,375
What?
407
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:16,709
How do you know what's in there?
408
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,012
Tush read it.
409
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,514
Thanks a lot.
410
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:24,351
You're as bad
as Loudmouth Shirley.
411
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,620
How many Shirleys
work at this place?
412
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,357
How dare you read that?
That's private.
413
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,591
Oh, that's rich
414
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,228
coming from the woman
who's been spying on us.
415
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:36,429
I'm not spying on you.
416
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,497
I-I'm studying you.
417
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,233
I can't believe you think
I'm some pathetic loser
418
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,501
who can't get a job.
419
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:43,736
And I'm some
heartless businessman
420
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:47,574
who doesn't care about his
pathetic loser friends.
421
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,576
You don't know
what you're talking about.
422
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,179
All right, everybody.
That's enough.
423
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:55,548
I know we're all upset,
but Maya has never treated us
424
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,717
with anything but
kindness and caring.
425
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,619
So let's not jump
down her throat
426
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,688
until we hear what
she has to say.
427
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,256
Thank you, Randy.
428
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,324
Now talk fast.
429
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:08,428
I'm not sure how long
this bridge is gonna hold.
430
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,531
Look, what you read--
I wrote that months ago.
431
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,799
Those were my first impressions.
432
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,467
But-but then I got to know you.
433
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,503
Like, look.
434
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:17,737
Read.
435
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:22,675
"When I met Carl,
436
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,612
I considered him a sad failure."
437
00:17:25,645 --> 00:17:27,480
Not a great start.
438
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,318
"But by creating a life
for himself
439
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,186
"outside
the nine-to-five workforce,
440
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,088
"he is one of the happiest,
441
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,489
"and therefore most successful,
442
00:17:36,523 --> 00:17:39,259
people I have ever known."
443
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,593
You really think that?
444
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,495
I do.
445
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,498
So do I.
446
00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:48,268
Hello, Gay Ted?
447
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,206
This is Carl.
448
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,509
Bald Carl.
449
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,544
Listen, I quit.
450
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,813
And tell Fat Shirley
to lay off Regular Shirley.
451
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:04,817
I'm the one that ate
her macaroni salad.
452
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,820
And Fawz.
453
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,322
(clears throat)
454
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,658
"Despite
his ruthless demeanor,
455
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:15,628
Fawz has exhibited moments
of true caring and friendship."
456
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:16,596
Aw.
457
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:19,599
Happy now, you jerk?
458
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:20,633
I am.
459
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,801
But also exhausted.
460
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:24,571
How are you people so nice
to each other all the time?
461
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,507
What about me?
462
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,242
I didn't even get one mention.
463
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,510
That's not true.
464
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,479
This is the conclusion.
465
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:33,480
I wrote it this morning.
466
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,647
Actually, Arthur,
467
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:38,651
why don't you read it?
468
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,287
(sighs)
469
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,456
You couldn't find
a smaller font?
470
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,359
(clears throat)
471
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:47,660
Ah...
472
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,663
"Superior Donuts
is a gathering place
473
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,766
"where people, regardless
of race, age and background,
474
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,804
"have found a refuge
in an otherwise impersonal city.
475
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,939
"This is best illustrated
476
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,343
"by the unlikely friendship
between Arthur and Franco.
477
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,913
"Arthur provides
his young employee
478
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:09,749
"with a stable home
beyond the apartment
479
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,352
"he shares with his roommate,
480
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,855
a free-loading slacker
named Sweatpants."
481
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:20,393
I'm in the book!
ARTHUR: Okay.
482
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,938
Here.
483
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,640
(scoffs)
484
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,841
You think you're gonna make
everything right
485
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:35,642
by giving me some lame-ass gift?
486
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,844
It's not for you.
It's for your kid.
487
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,882
I will love him
no matter what.
488
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:46,353
But please, God, don't let him
be a White Sox fan.
489
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:49,689
Thank you.
490
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,190
I can't take it.
491
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,527
Look, I know what I said
about boundaries,
492
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,996
but, you know, I realized
that like it or not,
493
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,566
you and I, we're way past that.
494
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,602
The thing is...
495
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,437
it's not my kid.
496
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,239
What?
497
00:20:06,273 --> 00:20:08,841
Apparently Nadine
was engaged to this guy,
498
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,344
and he broke it off with her.
499
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,246
I was the rebound.
500
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,215
Wow, that's tough.
501
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,453
Oh, come on. You're too young
to have a kid, anyway.
502
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:23,290
You barely can take care
of Sweatpants.
503
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,560
Look, I, uh,
I'm sorry I eavesdropped.
504
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,296
I was gonna tell
you anyway, man.
505
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,597
I was just...
506
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,433
(sighs) It's humiliating.
You know?
507
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:34,934
No, I get it.
508
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,036
That's why I didn't tell you
about my gambling.
509
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,871
I was afraid you wouldn't
look at me the same.
510
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,573
And I kind of like to think
511
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,941
that you look up to me.
512
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,310
Huh.
513
00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,444
That's weird,
'cause I always thought
514
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:46,946
you looked up to me,
but whatever.
515
00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:49,782
So, you gonna be okay?
516
00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:52,952
Eventually.
517
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,755
(sighs)
518
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:59,459
Oh, I got pies
stashed all over this bitch.
519
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,460
Oh.
520
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,061
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521
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,297
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36642
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