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1
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:05,706
It was my lucky day when
I met you on the 151 bus.
2
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:07,675
Yeah. I got to thank
that shirtless crackhead
3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,810
who scared you into
sitting next to me.
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,179
(laughs)
Yo, look,
5
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,213
I know it's last-minute,
but, you know,
6
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,747
there's an art walk tonight,
you trying to go?
7
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,616
Sure.
Yeah?
8
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:17,385
Then maybe after we
could get drinks?
9
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,719
Oh, like at your place?
10
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,754
Has to be. I don't get
paid till Friday.
11
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:21,755
(speaks indistinctly)
12
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:22,590
Mmm.
All right, see you.
13
00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,726
Interesting.
An art walk in Uptown.
14
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,695
On your right,
the Picasso sculpture,
15
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,530
and on your left,
a urine-stained mattress.
16
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:30,731
(chuckles)
17
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:33,767
Well, I'm hoping that art walk
turns into an art hangout
18
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,803
which leads to
an art let's-take-our-pants-off.
19
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,706
Hey, kid, you ready for tonight?
20
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,507
What you talking about?
21
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,309
The Hawks are playing
the Redwings.
22
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,111
If we win,
we're in the playoffs.
23
00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,678
Oh, that's tonight.
Yeah!
24
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,714
Oh, listen, it's gonna be
a cold one, so I thought
25
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,749
I'd make a little fire
and make some hot chocolate.
26
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,651
I know, dairy doesn't
agree with you,
27
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,554
but I got that soy milk
that you love. Huh?
28
00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,526
Damn. Dude needs
a girlfriend, man.
29
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,261
Looks like he's got one.
30
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:02,830
Ha!
31
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,600
Hey, look, Arthur, man,
I-I can't watch the game.
What?
32
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,370
Oh, how are we gonna win if we
don't wear our lucky jerseys?
33
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,605
And rub the gnome's belly?
34
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:12,873
Arthur, listen, the thing is,
35
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,176
I already made plans
with Nadine, okay?
36
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:18,279
And I was kind of hoping that
she and I would rub bellies.
37
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,848
I'm-I'm sorry for flaking.
That's all right.
38
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,851
Just be more hot
chocolate for me.
39
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,686
Hot chocolate does sound good.
40
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:28,656
You talking about the drink
or Nadine?
41
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,128
*
42
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,434
Tush!
43
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,835
There you are.
You left something
44
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:44,138
in the coat that you
dropped off at my dry cleaners.
45
00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:45,072
(chuckles) Really, Tush?
46
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,574
You don't seem a dry
cleaning kind of guy.
47
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,708
Fawz and I bartered.
48
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,911
I did a little animal show
for his niece's birthday.
49
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,780
Unfortunately, one of the mice
gave birth,
50
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:56,350
and then the snake ate
the babies...
51
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,419
So there were some tears.
52
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,855
But that's the circle of life!
Which I then sang.
53
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:05,826
Needless to say, someone's not
gonna forget turning five.
54
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,661
And thank you.
55
00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:11,199
A check for $600.
You know, you should cash that.
56
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:13,801
I'm sure Elizabeth Miller
would appreciate that.
57
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,336
You're right, I will.
58
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,305
And it's dated from
two months ago.
59
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,839
For someone living
check to check,
60
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,774
this sure is a
curious oversight.
61
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,843
Well, this was fun.
I gotta go.
62
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,946
Oh, my God, is that
Bruce Springsteen?
63
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,516
Bruce?
64
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,519
That was a Dominican woman
wearing a bandana.
65
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,955
Something fishy
is going on here.
66
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,425
I've seen every episode
of a little show called
67
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,394
CSI Colon Crime Scene
Investigation...
68
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:43,797
so I know when information
is being kept from me.
69
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,201
Like how to say the name
of a TV show?
70
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,937
Leave it alone, Fawz.
It's none of our business.
71
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,407
I'm a businessman, Maya.
Everything is my business.
72
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,883
(groans) Stop talking!
73
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,719
Randy, we didn't say nothing.
74
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,889
No, it's not you.
My mom's in town.
75
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,526
I've been holding that in
since breakfast.
76
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,995
All she wants to do is shop.
77
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,965
We went to T.J.Maxx,
then we went to Marshalls.
78
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,934
It's the same store.
79
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,703
Oh, no, but you love your mom.
80
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,372
Yeah, I do.
81
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,874
And I think she's been really
lonely ever since my dad died.
82
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,343
Mm-hmm.
So I'm trying to spend
more time with her.
83
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:33,381
Randy, honey,
I've got great news!
84
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,550
Ross Dress for Less
has just opened up
85
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,752
a new store on the corner.
86
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:41,422
Oh, that is great, Mom.
87
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,558
I've been looking for something
flammable in a primary color.
88
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,893
(both laugh)
89
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,861
Do I hear Helen DeLuca?
90
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,697
(laughs) Oh!
(laughs)
91
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,964
Arthur, oh, my!
Look at you.
92
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,866
(laughing)
93
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,603
Well, Florida's been
treating you well.
94
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:56,970
Oh, thanks.
95
00:03:57,004 --> 00:04:00,408
This place is so filled
with memories.
96
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,777
I can just picture Leo sitting
over here at this table.
97
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,680
Yep, there he was, whiling
away the day, eating donuts.
98
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:10,518
Yes, and now his daughter
carries that torch.
99
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,623
Hey, listen, I'm gonna
get you a cup of coffee,
100
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:16,824
and, uh, we'll catch up,
all right?
101
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,659
Oh, that, I'd love it,
I'd love it.
102
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:22,062
Uh, Randy, honey, what about
our shopping spree?
103
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,931
I was gonna get you
a bathing suit.
104
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,901
With a skirt.
It's time, honey, it's time.
105
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,773
It's like she forgets
I have a gun.
106
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,443
It's okay, Mom.
We got all week to shop.
107
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,045
Yo, Arthur...
Helen seems pretty dope.
108
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,647
Yeah, she's a barrel
of laughs.
109
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,749
We all had such
great times together.
110
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,517
Yeah?
111
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:45,486
Hey, Helen!
You like the Blackhawks?
112
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,355
Oh, I love 'em!
Arthur,
113
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:51,425
remember we went to Flannigan's
to watch all the games?
114
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:52,960
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that place still around?
115
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,062
Yeah, it's still there.
Except Flannigan's dead.
116
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,831
His son shot him,
it's a tragic story.
117
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,369
Hey, why don't you two watch
the game together tonight?
118
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:02,370
Oh, that sounds like fun.
119
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:04,372
Great! It's a date.
120
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,205
Okay.
121
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,374
Hey, Randy, come here.
Guess what.
122
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,442
So, your mom and Arthur are
gonna watch the Hawks game
123
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,510
tonight at Flannigan's.
124
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,445
Seriously?
Yeah.
125
00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,014
That's incredible.
I get a night alone.
126
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,549
In my pajamas.
127
00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:16,584
(chuckles)
128
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,386
Drinking a bottle of wine.
Mm-hmm.
129
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,754
Maybe two.
130
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,524
Maybe no pajamas.
131
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,926
You add in some Drake
and a couple weed lollipops,
132
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,895
and you just described my
night with Nadine, yeah.
133
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,135
Well, the plot thickens.
134
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,538
Look what else I found
in Tush's pocket.
135
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,574
A book of matches from
the Palmer House Hotel.
136
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:44,845
So... $600 from a lady.
Fancy hotel.
137
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:48,549
Conclusion: Tush is a gigolo.
138
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,852
Fawz, you are out of your mind.
139
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,522
I don't mean to body-shame,
but there is no way
140
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,724
that Tush is a gigolo.
141
00:05:56,757 --> 00:06:00,761
Yeah, he's more jiggly
than gigolo.
142
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,564
We all know he is not shy
about his gigs.
143
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:08,636
The man modeled adult diapers
and bragged about it.
144
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:10,771
What could be so embarrassing
that he would
145
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:11,939
keep it from his friends?
146
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,907
You really need to stop prying.
147
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:16,143
With an attitude like that,
I have half a mind
148
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:17,545
to take you off this case.
149
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,949
Arthur, aren't you
meeting Helen soon?
150
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:22,716
Yeah, in 20 minutes.
151
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,984
Well, shouldn't
you get dressed?
152
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,686
I am dressed. I'm fine.
153
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,521
(chuckles) No, you look
like a Jewish scarecrow.
154
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:28,989
Hmm?
155
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,991
Or like a two-star
Uber driver.
156
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,460
I get it, I get it,
I get it.
157
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,828
Well, I'm just saying,
man, I just want you to
look nice for your date.
158
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,664
No. Date? No.
159
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:39,099
Helen's an old friend of mine,
you can't call this a date.
160
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,834
All right, well, let me
ask you something:
161
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,102
you gonna pick her up?
Sure.
162
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,771
You gonna hold
the door for her?
Of course.
163
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:47,641
Will you pay for dinner?
Oh, my God, it's a date.
164
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,109
Listen, I can't go on a date
looking like this.
165
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,479
Yeah.
Can you help me
pick out an outfit?
166
00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,080
Yeah! Yeah, all right,
sure.
167
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,115
Okay, that's great.
168
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:03,023
(clicks)
169
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,161
Did he just lock us in?
170
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,763
Let's make a pact:
171
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,600
if things go south,
we eat that guy first.
172
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,672
I haven't dated
in 50 years.
173
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,574
So what am I supposed to do?
Come on, help me.
174
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:21,942
I got you.
175
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,545
Oh, my God, why do you have
so many visors, man?
176
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,747
Are you an old Korean lady?
177
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,717
Come on, I'm so nervous.
(chuckles)
178
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,952
I'm sweating in places
I didn't powder this morning.
179
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:34,855
Look, uh, maybe it's a bad idea.
180
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,491
Arthur, this is gonna
be great. All right?
181
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:38,692
And I saw you checking out Helen
182
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,760
when she was walking out
the door.
183
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,529
I was admiring her scarf.
184
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,997
Okay, I was looking at her butt.
185
00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,200
Look, it's Helen and me.
I mean, this is weird.
186
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,169
I was best man at her wedding.
187
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,872
Is that where
you wore this?
188
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,808
Or were you a pallbearer
at Papa Smurf's funeral?
189
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,611
Come on, Arthur.
190
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,946
Don't you think
it'd be good for you
191
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,180
to have a lady in your life?
192
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,683
Yes, I guess so, yeah.
193
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,952
Oh, hey.
194
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,486
How about this?
195
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:13,060
Hmm. Part Sam Jackson,
part Pepe Le Pew.
196
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,128
I can work with this.
197
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,934
All right, my bad.
198
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,703
Just gonna grab my phone
and we can bounce.
199
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:25,973
Uh, so, how did you leave your
phone in your boss' bedroom?
200
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,908
Well, it ain't like that.
I put it down when I was
201
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,611
helping him squeeze
into a pair of pants.
202
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:32,980
That wasn't any better.
203
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,882
All right. Mwah.
I'll be right back.
204
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,553
(Franco screams)
205
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,723
Hey!
206
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:45,993
What the hell, kid?
207
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,795
Came here to get my phone!
208
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,897
Oh! That was your phone?
209
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,865
You might want
to delete the photos.
210
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,842
(knocks on door)
211
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,210
You don't have to knock.
212
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,212
FRANCO:
Yes, I do.
213
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:09,249
Oh, come on, please,
you hardly saw anything.
214
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,251
Mm-hmm. You got a birthmark
on your back
215
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,621
in the shape of Florida.
216
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,289
Okay, you saw everything.
217
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,991
Yo, so what happened
last night?
218
00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,693
I thought y'all were just
hanging out at Flannigan's.
219
00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,228
Yeah, we-- well, we were
having a couple of drinks
220
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,096
and, uh, talking
about old times.
221
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:25,265
And then I asked her back
for a nightcap.
222
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,800
Next thing I knew,
we were spooning
223
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,068
on top of the heating pad.
224
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,970
(laughs)
Good for you!
225
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,072
Yeah! Well, it was
kind of nice.
226
00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,641
All right, so what happens next,
50 Shades of Gray?
227
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,976
(chuckles)
228
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,210
When are you gonna
see her again?
229
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,278
(stammers)
I'd like to.
230
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,213
But, you know, I haven't dated
in so many years.
231
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,715
You know, wha-what I am
supposed to do, huh?
232
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,316
Call her? Send her flowers?
233
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,152
No, man, just send her a text!
234
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,353
Really? Oh, okay.
Yeah.
235
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,923
Just send a... a text.
(chuckles)
236
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,992
Okay, so what do I,
what do I say?
237
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,927
Um, something flirty
but noncommittal.
238
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,328
Like, "Hey, what you doin'?"
239
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:58,331
Which can be interpreted as,
"Hey, what you doin'?"
240
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,100
Or like you're doing something
nasty, like
241
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:02,202
(deep voice):
"Hey, what you doin'?"
242
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,270
What next?
243
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,338
Um, "You had fun last night?
Let's chill again."
244
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,374
Ooh.
Eggplant emoji.
245
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,845
Just do it, just do it.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
246
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:14,381
Now send! Yep! There we go.
247
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,916
That sounds perfect.
248
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,217
(phone chimes)
249
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,853
Except you just sent it to me.
250
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,323
Give me your phone.
Ah.
251
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,394
Look at this, it's been
a couple of hours,
252
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,428
she hasn't even responded.
253
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,231
Give her some time.
Maybe she can't work a phone.
254
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,332
We've texted before.
255
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,867
Maybe I should've called her.
256
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,036
Hmm? I don't come across
in a text.
257
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,206
(in deep voice):
All my sexy is in my voice.
258
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,341
(sighs)
What a night.
259
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,111
I had five wonderful hours
without my mother.
260
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,915
Which should add about
three months to my life.
261
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,250
Well, lucky for you, you might
262
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,986
be having some more
mom-free nights.
263
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,254
What are you talking about?
264
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,689
Oh, you don't know?
Well, apparently,
265
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:57,257
your mom and Arthur's
hockey date
266
00:10:57,290 --> 00:10:59,292
went into overtime.
267
00:11:00,728 --> 00:11:02,295
Huh?
268
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,398
He shot, he scored.
269
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:07,701
Oh, my God.
Uh-huh.
270
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:09,703
My mother?
Uh-huh.
271
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,872
And Arthur?
Uh-huh!
272
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,875
Oh, hey, Randy...
273
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,276
Hi, Arthur.
274
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,046
Heard that you and my mom
had a fun night.
275
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,714
Ah, uh, oh. Yeah, listen,
276
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,916
I know this is kind of
weird for you, but...
277
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:26,253
No. Actually, it's not weird.
278
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,222
I-I'm okay with it,
I-I'm happy for you.
279
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:32,292
Oh, really? Well, okay,
all right. Thank you.
280
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,027
Yeah. It's actually
pretty exciting.
281
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,896
Means I might be
getting a new dad.
282
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,231
Oh, come on. Very funny.
283
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,466
Yeah, maybe this weekend
we could watch Frozen.
284
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,735
Oh, all right, all
right, all right.
285
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,171
I'm gonna go meet Mom
to do some more shopping.
286
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,239
Oh! Speaking of shopping.
287
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,109
For Christmas
I'd really like a pony.
288
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,510
Oh, get out of here.
289
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,079
(Franco laughs)
290
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,180
(phone chimes)
Ooh, that's a text.
291
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,414
It's in my back pocket.
292
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,749
Okay.
Yeah.
293
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:57,084
I'm, I-I'm all glazed up.
294
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,385
It's all good. Oh!
295
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,887
It's from Helen.
296
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,855
Ah, ah, ah.
Yeah.
297
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:03,290
"Dear Arthur.
298
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,025
"Thank you for the texts.
299
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,127
The game was fun last night."
300
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,161
Oh.
301
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,297
Ooh...
(phone chimes)
302
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,265
"But I don't think
hanging out is a good idea."
303
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,466
(phone chimes)
304
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,235
"Last night was a mistake."
305
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,104
(phone chimes)
306
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,239
"Sincerely yours, Helen DeLuca."
307
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,243
(phone chimes)
Enough dings.
308
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,278
Oh, no, this is from
your cell phone provider.
309
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,981
Uh, you used up
all your texts for the month.
310
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,156
Ugh. I'm worried about Tush.
311
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,390
Don't believe Pretty Woman.
312
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:40,527
Not every customer
is Richard Gere.
313
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,996
You really think
he's a prostitute?
314
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:44,264
Shh! Here he comes.
315
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:46,934
Don't say "sex."
316
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,335
Afternoon.
317
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,437
Morning.
Intercourse.
318
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,409
Tush, we have
a brochure for you.
319
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,512
It's called
"Getting Out of the Game."
320
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,348
Game?
What are you talking about?
321
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:05,218
You know.
How you put on the red light?
322
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,954
You think I'm a prostitute?
323
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,022
How else could you earn
such a big check?
324
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:11,391
It is the only explanation.
325
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,293
It's from my ex-wife.
326
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,896
Except for that.
327
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,464
That's who
Elizabeth Miller is?
328
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,466
Formerly Liz Tushinski.
329
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,334
She pays me alimony.
330
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,436
We got divorced
after I lost my job,
331
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,605
and she was making
a lot more money than me.
332
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,175
So, then, why have you not
cashed the check?
333
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,911
'Cause it's the last one.
334
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,246
It's the only thing
that ties us together.
335
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:38,351
When this goes in the bank,
she's out of my life forever.
336
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,120
(exhales)
337
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,455
I am so sorry, you know.
338
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,991
Being in the
dry-cleaning business,
339
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,393
there just is not
a lot of excitement,
340
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:50,330
so sometimes my imagination
just runs wild.
341
00:13:50,363 --> 00:13:52,365
It's okay. I guess...
342
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:56,169
I've just had a real hard time
admitting it's over.
343
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,438
You know,
maybe I should just move on.
344
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,207
My friend.
345
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,543
How about you and
I go to the bank
346
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,979
and cash that check together?
347
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,147
(chuckles)
348
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,016
I'd like that.
349
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,556
Uh, Fawz.
350
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:18,358
Oh, yes.
351
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:22,362
Uh, holding hands is a sign
of kinship in my country.
352
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,297
Oh. That's, that's beautiful.
353
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,565
Yeah.
354
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:32,405
So, uh, who,
who lets go first?
355
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:36,643
Traditionally, it's the man
who's more subservient.
356
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,450
(clears throat)
Huh.
357
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,020
I wish I'd known that
before we started this.
358
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,456
Arthur, what are you doing?
359
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,623
We're already
fully stocked on those.
360
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,593
I know. These are for me.
361
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,929
Hey, uh, there's a Blackhawks
game tonight.
362
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,164
Y-You trying to watch it?
363
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,265
I'll make hot chocolate.
364
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,433
No, thanks.
365
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,235
He can eat all he wants,
366
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:06,573
but those donut holes will never
fill the one inside his heart.
367
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,575
Man, I can't believe that lady.
368
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,177
Breaking up by text?
369
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,444
You don't do that
to my boy Arthur.
370
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,579
They're old friends.
371
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,514
Maybe they'll work it out.
372
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,616
Oh. Oh, they definitely
gonna work it out.
373
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:18,118
'Cause you know what?
374
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,486
She might have a problem
being direct,
375
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,920
but I don't.
376
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:27,194
Okay. Well, I have a meeting.
377
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,332
Well, I'm not letting go.
378
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:35,468
Well, I'm not letting go.
379
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,046
I have to shower
before the meeting.
380
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,481
I like it hot.
381
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,320
Hey, Ma.
Yeah.
382
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,321
Check out
these winter coats.
383
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,423
Ugh.
You might need
one of these if you're gonna
384
00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:01,995
spend more time in Chicago
with a certain donut Don Juan.
385
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,597
Can we just let go of this?
386
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,433
Here, take this sticker.
387
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,502
Put it on the pink bag,
I'll get another 20% off.
388
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,438
Come on, come on.
Mom, no.
389
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,672
There you go.
390
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,407
Hey, Franco.
What are you doing here?
391
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,043
I'm here to talk to your mother.
392
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:17,544
Yo, can you stop following me?
393
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,146
If I wanted to steal
from a store, I'd go to a place
394
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,613
I couldn't afford.
395
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:25,152
So you're just gonna ghost
my friend like that?
396
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,486
"Ghost"?
Mm-hmm.
397
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,721
Is that slang for sex?
398
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,723
No. It's when you dump
somebody by text
399
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,725
and you disappear
like nothing ever happened.
400
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,295
Oh. Then, yes, I ghosted him.
401
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,064
Wait a minute.
402
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:39,132
You dumped Arthur?
403
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,333
In a text?
404
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,102
Well, I didn't mean to hurt him.
405
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,604
I just... well,
I didn't know what else to do.
406
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,340
It was the first time that I had
a feeling for another man,
407
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,243
and I... I-I just began
408
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,411
to feel weird.
409
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,281
'Cause it wasn't Dad?
410
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,316
I know he's not here anymore,
411
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,419
but I, I still feel
like it's cheating.
412
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,587
Yeah.
413
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,222
I get it.
414
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,457
But it happened.
415
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,526
And Arthur is still
your friend.
416
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,329
You really want
to leave it like this?
417
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,830
But I haven't been
to housewares yet,
418
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,501
and it's 60% off
everything Rachael Ray.
419
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,337
Fine.
420
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,639
Fine.
421
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,408
See? I ain't steal nothing.
422
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,443
But you might want to check out
that white lady over there.
423
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,478
She got a George Foreman Grill
under her jacket!
424
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,153
What's up, Arthur?
425
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,854
ARTHUR:
Oh, Helen.
426
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,324
I didn't think
we'd see each other again.
427
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,527
Well, I just wanted to say I was
sorry about the text thing.
428
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,462
Franco told me you were upset.
429
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,763
Franco did what?
430
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,166
He said you were devastated.
431
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,135
Well, anyway.
432
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:50,470
I just wanted to say
I was sorry,
433
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,406
so I bought you
this windbreaker.
434
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,410
It's Pierre Cardin,
$80 value.
435
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,580
You know, kid, why are you
getting involved in this?
436
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,582
'Cause you were upset.
And eating donut holes
437
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,185
by the fistful, man.
I had to do something.
438
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:06,519
No, you didn't.
439
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,554
This is between Helen and me.
440
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,356
It's none of your damn business.
441
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,258
Franco just wanted to help.
442
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,759
We worry about you both.
443
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,527
Why? We're adults.
444
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,263
Yeah, we are. Adults.
445
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,731
Yeah, but you're down
in Florida, all by yourself.
446
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,433
Yeah, and you have
nobody to watch
447
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,568
the Hawks games with, so...
448
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,703
We, we just don't
want you to be lonely.
449
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,472
(laughing):
Oh, I see.
450
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,474
You don't want us
to be lonely, okay.
451
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,742
Raise your hand if you
got lucky last night.
452
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,415
Damn.
453
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,749
That's cold.
454
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,418
What we're saying is,
focus on your own lives.
455
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,253
Franco, you got
this beautiful girl Nadine
456
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,354
who's crazy about you.
457
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:44,391
So why you all up in my grill?
458
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,525
Didn't I say that right?
459
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,260
Yeah.
460
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,362
All right. Well,
461
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,663
if y'all say you're great,
462
00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,465
then I guess we'll
just leave you alone?
463
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:53,866
Thank you.
464
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,470
Arthur, can we have somewhere
where we can talk?
465
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,138
Yeah. Yeah.
466
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,675
I can't believe I just
got relationship advice
467
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:05,578
from a 75-year-old man.
468
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:11,418
Yeah, and I can't believe my
mom's having more sex than I am.
469
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:14,521
You know, Franco is right,
I owe you an explanation.
470
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,356
Arthur, I panicked.
471
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,358
All these complicated
emotions came up,
472
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,593
and I...
(chuckles)
473
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,696
We have such a, a long,
shared history.
474
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,534
(sighs)
You know, Leo.
475
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:30,203
Yeah. Well, Joanie.
476
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,208
Well, they're sure dead.
477
00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,278
And we're not.
478
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:40,847
No, we certainly weren't
last night.
479
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,517
We gave that memory foam
a lot to remember.
480
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,323
That's good.
481
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,624
Hey, can I at least
give you a hug?
482
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,460
Or will that drive you mad
with desire
483
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,595
and lead to multiple
health code violations?
484
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:56,596
(laughs)
Yes.
485
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,898
Okay.
486
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,733
For the love of God!
487
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:03,202
Put a sock on the door.
488
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,379
ARTHUR: Hey, hey.
What the hell, kid?
489
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,980
You're not checking up on me,
are you?
490
00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,915
No, I'm not.
491
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,717
Hi, Nadine. He's not checking up
on me, is he?
492
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,686
A little.
Wha-- no.
493
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,288
I'm just... I just came
to pick up my paycheck,
494
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,456
so I can take my girl out
for dinner and drinks.
495
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,693
Maybe just drinks.
496
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,027
Hey, listen! Uh, uh...
497
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,930
Look, I'm sorry
I snapped at you yesterday.
498
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,765
It's cool.
499
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,534
No, no, I'm, I'm just...
I'm just glad that you, uh,
500
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,935
pushed me to go dating again,
501
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,904
because I think I'm ready
to go out there now.
502
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:38,871
Seriously?
Yeah.
503
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,807
Word? All right.
Yeah.
504
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,375
I signed up for this,
uh, new dating app.
505
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,643
It shows all the singles
in your area.
506
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,745
Uh-huh.
But so far, it's only guys.
507
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,383
Hey, Arthur, you,
you on Grindr right now.
508
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,819
Huh? Why? What's that?
It's...
509
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,388
No, no. Go, go on
your date. Go ahead.
You're sure?
510
00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,724
Yeah, I'm sure this guy can
explain it to me over coffee.
511
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,726
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
512
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,261
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
36781
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